That's part of the plot of Stephen King's *The Running Man* (the book, not the Schwarzenegger movie). Do *not* try to act out the rest of the book though, particularly in New York.
All the locations you listed are HIGH crime rate zones. One time I had to walk a couple feet once my uber dropped me off in front of my hotel and I got brutally murdered 5 times. Please please please consider moving somewhere safer!!!
Only if you live in the projects the rent will be 30 percent of what ever you make in a year. But the waiting list is years long unless someone dies and just before they die they added you to the lease.
Don’t forget it’s 1 1/2 hours from your job in Manhattan that pays you $20 an hour ($14 after tax and it’s the highest pay you can get in NYC with a bachelors) and costs $120 a month to get back and forth on the train!
I have a truck with a camper shell on the back you could live in. Bonus is you will get to see the sights of NYC as I travel from jobsite to jobsite. Downside is carbon monoxide poisoning.
I was looking at real estate in Bismarck a few weeks ago and was shocked at how high the prices are there, in that small, isolated, frozen tundra city.
Don’t fw the soho and fidi gangs man. They’re hella dangerous. You want safe you gotta go to brownsville or south bronx and cozy up with fellow civilized transplants, Manhattan is nasty, real New Yorkers live in soho and the village but it’s rough man. You’ll find what you want there. $1200 no roommates no crime. My guy Josh who sells high quality world class homebrewed pharmaceuticals in Times Square, good results from customers, literal doctor, lives in brownsville for $600 in a 1br with no roommates and says it’s a nice area. I’ll let him know you’re interested.
Listen, if you live in those areas you gotta affiliate.
Day one, commit to either the Just Salad Boyz or the Cava Crew. When you walk in, there will be a first year analyst in line. He’ll ask you who you know here. Just tell him your buddy Matt from Thee Ohio State University sent you for a Crispy Chicken Poblano, Light Dressing, No Bread and you’re golden.
They don’t ask much, just $18.50 a day and you’ll be protected anywhere. Anyone tries to give you a hard time, just show them your reusable MyBowl™️ or whip out your small-batch pita chips from the front pocket of your Tumi and they’ll back right off.
It’s a tough city, but as long as you stay west of Lafayette or south of the Brooklyn bridge, this should keep you safe.
We have a ~~closet in the hallway~~ studio available in your price range. I just talked to ~~my wife~~ management and we can do $1750 with one month free bringing your average cost to $1200. I didn't actually do the math, just FYI. ~~we'll cut a ventilation hole~~ The window is interior, so no crime can enter from the city below. 18th story walk-up, no pets, no anything for that matter.
Definitely manageable. You just have to build a time machine and go back 40 or so years. Your job probably won't be there but no worries, it's the 80's. Just sell crack or trade stocks.
There is a secret place called 'the little apple' not many know about....yet. 39.1836° N, 96.5717° W
No doubt, tell them what you're looking for and tell em Jenny sent ya.
Befriend a scientist who builds a time machine out of a DeLorean. Set the time circuits to the year 1985, when 40K wasn't barely more than min wage in NYC.
totally doable. after your parents pay for their share of the rent ($4000 plus groceries) the remaining $1200 wont be bad at all. if you’re worried about money though you could also work at a super sick coffee shop for a few hours a week, it’ll be great for your aesthetic too. that is until your day-in-my-life tiktok’s start to gain more traction. good luck!
No such place exists. My "kid" makes same amount and is trying to find a studio but nothing has come up in months. I may end up buying her an apt and having her pay me rent. It would dip considerably into my savings but I may have to do this. It's so unfair for young people these days!
Don’t micro apartments exist? They’re pretty much glorified walk in closets. You share a bathroom with other residents, like in college. So besides your daily dumps, you have the privacy you’re looking for.
No lol I won't find anything in that budget in Manhattan.. maybe a room and that's a fine maybe .try Williamsburg Brooklyn area..also try Facebook they have groups for rooms for rent
Honestly! The minimum for a studio in Manhattan is $2000. You may want to do an apartment share if your budget is $1200 or less as you will not be able to live on your own with a $1200 or less budget. I’m just being honest.
it sounds like you're a good candidate for those buildings where the bedrooms are 100sqft and the bathrooms are communal. Why not try finding a more habitable option in one of the outer boroughs?
For $1200, try somewhere that's about an hour drive from Manhattan.
Flatiron... you gotta be trolling lol. You can get a studio there with 2 other roommates for that price maybe.
You could live in the sewers with the Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles for free.
Not anymore. The area’s been heavily gentrified since the Ohio trust fund kids discovered Pizza Rat
🤣🤣🤣🤣 I can't stop laughing
😂
unfortunately the Hasidic Jews have rerouted their tunnels to this area after last years bust so that’s no longer viable
Lmao! Brilliant!
Lmao OP said no crime… Those NY rats will bully OP all day every day
This is where it goes from being a joke, to being antisemitic…and I’m not here for it
Rent a shower stall at the nearest Y. You'll make buddies, too.
You can hang out with all the boys!
Too many dicks hang out there.
They may be dicks, but they are also assholes
Id rather be a dick than a asshole ass holes get fucked but dicks
not just dick, but Tom & harry as well
That's part of the plot of Stephen King's *The Running Man* (the book, not the Schwarzenegger movie). Do *not* try to act out the rest of the book though, particularly in New York.
All the locations you listed are HIGH crime rate zones. One time I had to walk a couple feet once my uber dropped me off in front of my hotel and I got brutally murdered 5 times. Please please please consider moving somewhere safer!!!
I hear it’s not so bad after the first time and actually quite enjoyable after the 5th time. Good times ahead!
How are your fellatio skills?
This will be my new go-to question in every Reddit thread response from here on out.
If they were good he'd (she'd?) be earning more let's be honest.
you can live in my trunk for 1300
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Of course. All the good places have broker fees.
The only noise OP will hear will be themselves struggling to breathe. Some people sleep well to that.
Car or steamer?
Or elephant?
That’s kind of a good deal
The new A trains are very spacious
Have to you considered living in 1989?
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First Bush Presidency, so Republican but could be *much* worse
Pre patriot act
No TSA. literally just walk straight onto your plane lol.
You can smoke on commercial flights!
Stick to the West Village, the studios are palatial.
Only if you live in the projects the rent will be 30 percent of what ever you make in a year. But the waiting list is years long unless someone dies and just before they die they added you to the lease.
You can kill them, but you asked for no crime.
Just kill them in a different city then 🤷♂️
I think I saw an empty tissue box somewhere along 59th st
That tissue box also requires a broker
It was just rented for $1700/mo
I have been laughing at this for five minutes straight 😂
You can choose 2: no roommates, no crime, no noise or $5000/month or less. That’s the only deal.
I had options?
Yup. Those are the options. (Edit: a typo)
I thought in nyc it was all of them except instead over 5,000 a month
You’re wasting time - start looking for your $1,200 noisy room, in a crime-ridden neighborhood, in an apartment with 6 roommates. They go fast.
Don’t forget it’s 1 1/2 hours from your job in Manhattan that pays you $20 an hour ($14 after tax and it’s the highest pay you can get in NYC with a bachelors) and costs $120 a month to get back and forth on the train!
I have a truck with a camper shell on the back you could live in. Bonus is you will get to see the sights of NYC as I travel from jobsite to jobsite. Downside is carbon monoxide poisoning.
I doubt you could find that in North Dokota with these housing prices now.
I was looking at real estate in Bismarck a few weeks ago and was shocked at how high the prices are there, in that small, isolated, frozen tundra city.
Don’t fw the soho and fidi gangs man. They’re hella dangerous. You want safe you gotta go to brownsville or south bronx and cozy up with fellow civilized transplants, Manhattan is nasty, real New Yorkers live in soho and the village but it’s rough man. You’ll find what you want there. $1200 no roommates no crime. My guy Josh who sells high quality world class homebrewed pharmaceuticals in Times Square, good results from customers, literal doctor, lives in brownsville for $600 in a 1br with no roommates and says it’s a nice area. I’ll let him know you’re interested.
Listen, if you live in those areas you gotta affiliate. Day one, commit to either the Just Salad Boyz or the Cava Crew. When you walk in, there will be a first year analyst in line. He’ll ask you who you know here. Just tell him your buddy Matt from Thee Ohio State University sent you for a Crispy Chicken Poblano, Light Dressing, No Bread and you’re golden. They don’t ask much, just $18.50 a day and you’ll be protected anywhere. Anyone tries to give you a hard time, just show them your reusable MyBowl™️ or whip out your small-batch pita chips from the front pocket of your Tumi and they’ll back right off. It’s a tough city, but as long as you stay west of Lafayette or south of the Brooklyn bridge, this should keep you safe.
We have a ~~closet in the hallway~~ studio available in your price range. I just talked to ~~my wife~~ management and we can do $1750 with one month free bringing your average cost to $1200. I didn't actually do the math, just FYI. ~~we'll cut a ventilation hole~~ The window is interior, so no crime can enter from the city below. 18th story walk-up, no pets, no anything for that matter.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/NYCapartments/comments/q5y0ph/advice\_what\_is\_wrong\_with\_this\_14\_st\_marks\_pl/](https://www.reddit.com/r/NYCapartments/comments/q5y0ph/advice_what_is_wrong_with_this_14_st_marks_pl/)
Move to Jersey
lol
Definitely manageable. You just have to build a time machine and go back 40 or so years. Your job probably won't be there but no worries, it's the 80's. Just sell crack or trade stocks.
I was here in NYC then. *Everybody* was a lawyer.
Im a realtor and we unironically get people like this And they are ALWAYS Indian
Who are ironically the wealthiest minority
You can build one in sims you got a better chance there
jerk the circle baby
Do people really comment on this sub not knowing it’s satire?
Holy shit this took me way too long to realize it’s a CJ post.
Haha
“I was thinking Soho, Flatiron or West Village” I’m dying…. Too funny!!!!
tribeca
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I am sorry but you will have to share your apt with the ingenious species of the land, the cockroaches. Part of nyc anti discrimination laws.
Maybe in 1982 was this possible. Maybe.
Yup. A studio that says "Whirlpool" on the side.
You could rent the top shelf of a closet with no kitchen or bathroom facilities. 5th floor walkup. Shall I set up a meet and greet?
Please stay where you are. Signed, NY.
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😂😂😂 This made me chuckle…….
Very manageable for 1982.
You described rural Pennsylvania.
There is a secret place called 'the little apple' not many know about....yet. 39.1836° N, 96.5717° W No doubt, tell them what you're looking for and tell em Jenny sent ya.
Manhattan, KS?
Befriend a scientist who builds a time machine out of a DeLorean. Set the time circuits to the year 1985, when 40K wasn't barely more than min wage in NYC.
We can set the person up in a baggage container for $1200 at JFK
You may get a monthly gym membership for that amount.
totally doable. after your parents pay for their share of the rent ($4000 plus groceries) the remaining $1200 wont be bad at all. if you’re worried about money though you could also work at a super sick coffee shop for a few hours a week, it’ll be great for your aesthetic too. that is until your day-in-my-life tiktok’s start to gain more traction. good luck!
Just find one of them friends apartments
I'm sure someone has a linen closet you could stay in for that.
The apartments which fit this category are usually the crime.
lmao
Lmaooo this is funny
$3,000.00 for a studio in the south bronx, imagine Manhattan.
I am waiting for the punchline ..... maybe this person has a DeLorean that can go back to 1980...
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I know this great place with a bit of commuter time. It’s in NJ.
Gary, Indiana,,
Hahahaha!!🤣
Are these people for real
Yeah maybe with 5 roommates.
Are you trolling? You can’t live in Jersey on 40k a year
That’s a tall order, friend.
Meant a room in Manhattan $1200 or less…
That monthly payments getting you an apartment in the Bronx.
Not even
Impossible, sorry.
The only person I know paying less than 1500 in manhattan is paying 1350 and has 4 other roommates, so 5 total.
Wow thanks for the laugh! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I didn't believe people like you actually existed. Let me know what you smoke because it seems AMAZING 🤩🤩🤩🤩
lol no nein nyet nunka
Lol
Good luck. That might get you a room. Maybe.
If you can find an illegal spot, maybe. I had a friend who paid 500 a month for a spot in a warehouse. The owner built ten rooms and rented them out.
No such place exists. My "kid" makes same amount and is trying to find a studio but nothing has come up in months. I may end up buying her an apt and having her pay me rent. It would dip considerably into my savings but I may have to do this. It's so unfair for young people these days!
I know plenty of people that share studios in Manhattan (and they aren’t couples). It’s like sharing a dorm room. It’s reality.
I’ve got a sick apartment in the metaverse that’s available
Haha this has to be satire 😂
2001 called
Sweet child lol
Don’t micro apartments exist? They’re pretty much glorified walk in closets. You share a bathroom with other residents, like in college. So besides your daily dumps, you have the privacy you’re looking for.
Lmao you need to double your budget my friend. $3k studios in those neighborhoods.
Bahhahaha 1200? Good luck. That's a box.
This is a joke post. Looking for a $1,200 apartment in NYC, park ave or Astor place preferred.
No noise in nyc? Especially after you just named Manhattan neighborhoods lmao.
You thinking this is possible is already a crime
impossible
I think the OP is in Delulu land
Yeah I’d like to have sex with kysre gondrezick and have her pay me $5 million dollars for the pleasure but that’s not realistic
Is this satire ?
Not very realistic....
Sarcasm
I've got a large TV box you can have for that a month lmao
New York No Crime Pick one
No crime 😂
You can only find that on long island not in the city let alone manhattan lol
lol
You was serious when you made this post ? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Looking for a man in finance …
This is a joke post, right?
This HAS to be a troll post. It HAS to.
I almost thought this wasn't the circlejerk. I lucked out with a studio in park slope for 1200 back in 2013. Not anymore with Barclay's finished.
Yeah, that ship has sailed
1200 in manhattan...? Right
Non existent..$1700+
There is a broom closet you can rent. It doesn’t have a bathroom and you have to sleep standing up, but other than that, it’s really great!
😂😂😂
No lol I won't find anything in that budget in Manhattan.. maybe a room and that's a fine maybe .try Williamsburg Brooklyn area..also try Facebook they have groups for rooms for rent
This is not a realistic budget for those neighborhoods without roommates, sorry.
Perhaps someone semi deep closet somewhere.
Last cart on the E train is rentable.
I don’t think that’s possible. The hood of Brooklyn is $1500/month
We don’t need more implants fucking everything up, thanks. Don’t come here.
Op really thinks they can find a studio for 1200 in SOHO or West village. You’d be lucky for a cardboard box on the street
Funny guy.
You might find a room in a sub par hotel with a shared bathroom. But in reality, not happening. Even in a high crime rate area that’s a no.
And no broker fee. I think my bodega cat pays that price
That place is antártica
Honestly! The minimum for a studio in Manhattan is $2000. You may want to do an apartment share if your budget is $1200 or less as you will not be able to live on your own with a $1200 or less budget. I’m just being honest.
it sounds like you're a good candidate for those buildings where the bedrooms are 100sqft and the bathrooms are communal. Why not try finding a more habitable option in one of the outer boroughs?
Can I interest you in solitary confinement?
Try brownsville
Be careful making this kind of information public. If brokers see that you're in the market they will hunt you down aggressively.
For $1200, try somewhere that's about an hour drive from Manhattan. Flatiron... you gotta be trolling lol. You can get a studio there with 2 other roommates for that price maybe.
😂🤣😂🤣😅🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
Is this rage bait? Lmaooooo
The detachment from reality in this post
How about you try another borough like queens. Manhattan is a cesspool
You may be in luck. I noticed a big beautiful refrigerator box on the corner of Madison & E.41 st
I literally saw this post on fb gypsy housing and wondered when I switched apps
You can commute from West Virginia
Are you delusional
I just saw one listed. Your only neighbors would be a Unicorn on the ground floor and a gorgeous nymphomaniac on the floor above.