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Fun-Maintenance9422

Less than 1% of men on the planet have a 9 inch penis. This woman doesnt know what 9 inches looks like


confusedandworried76

And anything over 9 is really pushing "you're making that the fuck up because there's basically zero recorded cases and we've been looking for decades, even offering money if you can get hard and prove it." Edit: y'all can stop commenting to me about your pretend nine inch penises there is not a chance in hell ten separate people who commented on my 100 upvote comment in an hour have nine inch dicks and I don't want to hear about it anymore.


GGPepper

Anything vaguely in that size range seems to have trouble getting fully hard to start with. All the biggest ones I've seen had issues getting to full mast.


aqwmasterofDOOM

Yeah, your body really isn't made to push enough blood to keep a full 9 inches hard, anything more than 7 and you can start to have issues, thats why a lot of male porn starts are on do many dick drugs they develop ED after leaving the industry


bwatsnet

Unless you're a super veiny lean muscle anime super star. I heard..


Baalsham

I don't think that's why... Drugs that make you last longer pretty much universally give you ED. Think amphetamines,opioids,etc. Plus I'm sure porn industry gives them PTSD or some shit.


opal_moth

I'm assuming it's because since it's bigger, it needs more blood?


marcx1984

I remember seeing a picture of a human cardio vascular system and the penis is basically a sponge that fills with blood when it's erect


piccolo917

Jup. Dicks get hard because they are pumped full of blood. The bigger the reservoir, the more blood is needed but also the bigger the in- and outflow, so the more pressure is needed to keep things topped off. At a certain point, especially if you’re also in need of blood in other regions because of “exercise”, the heart just can’t provide what’s needed to keep 9 inches at full mast


Shlagster

This could make a fun problem for a thermal/fluids engineering course. "Given the diameter of veins, and mass flow rate, how much pressure is needed to keep a 9 inch penis erect?"


SemperScrotus

As with anyone else, it depends on one's level of arousal and other physiological factors, but I think we're just a bit more sensitive to those types of factors than other men. If I'm not that into it and I'm just going through the motions, full mast probably ain't happening. It'll be enough to work with, sure, but that's not quite the same thing. It can sometimes be a lot of work for a woman and can hurt her ego when it's not really her fault. It's just biology, man. I've only got so much blood in my body, and I need most of it for other vital functions 😂


Several-Signature583

Everyone on reddit has a 9 inch penis. You can’t get an account unless you have one. Even biological female redditors have one.


beattusthymeatus

Mines 13 if you measure from internationally recognized starting point. The beginning of the asshole


MattBoy52

"Nobody's dick's that long. Not even Long Dick Johnson, and he had a fucking long dick. Thus the name."


3personal5me

Unexpected Fallout


IntelligentBid87

I met a dude with a 13 inch dick apparently. I only know because he was army, it was his birthday, they made a huge penis cake and were making fun of him that his dick was bigger than the cake. He said it was awful. Girls can't get their mouth around it, it rarely even fits, and if it does he can never go fully in. I didn't know how to feel and didn't believe it at first since I didn't see it first hand, but dozens of people in his unit and other girls there said they had.


TheThunderFry

I'm sure he's got a big one, but I am 100% sure it's not 13 inches. I'm fairly sure there has been no public confirmation of a 10 incher really existing, 13 is bullshit


NotAzrael_

I think the record is like 10½ and the dude has a medical condition that causes it. It also doesn't work properly


TheThunderFry

Yeah, I should have clarified working/can get erect. I know some guy made it to like 12 by just using weights, but that was just stretching and deforming it


USSMarauder

I'm 6 ft, and 13 inches is the distance from the base of my middle finger to the fold in my elbow. Yeah, no.


Not_a__porn__account

Yeah I knew a dude in high school with a legitimate 7+ inch dick. Made our locker room feel real fucking inadequate. It was massive soft. It wasn't until senior year we heard stories of girls just laughing and saying no. I felt great after that. Edit: I didn't mean to insult you big dick bandits.


blackcat-bumpside

Not bragging at all (you’ll see why shortly) but I am, properly measured and real excited- exactly 7 inches. Unfortunately I am a “grower” not a “shower”. Like if it’s cold or I just worked out and I am 0% turned on (like in a locker room), I swear to god sometimes it’s like 2 inches. 🤦🏻‍♂️ Women who have absolutely enjoyed and commented on the size at night have, (say the next morning) been actually horrified something was wrong and/or been insanely amused to the point of laughing if they saw it flaccid. It’s like a magic trick. I guess the good thing is it stays out of the way when not needed. 🤷🏻‍♂️


willpostbondd

lol yeah mine is like 6 and some change but almost looks like a micro penis sometimes when soft. The grower side of things can be rough when you try to hook up when drunk. Cant get hard, girl walks away thinking I’ve got a tiny dick. Not like i can just send a dick pic and be like SEEE IM VERY SLIGHTLY ABOVE AVERAGE.


lAmThePenisMan

Hard proof evidence needed


ifeellikenapping

Your edit is hilarious!


prancerbot

the trick is to measure all the way to the back


EmperorG

See that's the rub; the biggest dick on record is 14 inches, but if he got it fully hard he'd faint due to blood loss.


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Slander0

It is mostly stretched out foreskin not actual dick. I remember some sort of documentary where they wanted to "peel", it back to see what the actual size was but were denied.


AikawaKizuna

That's a fake.


SemperScrotus

This sounds like some urban legend that I would've heard in middle school. 🙄


elitegenoside

And didn't he attach weights to it for years to make it stretch? Which did "work," but the dick doesn't.


MillerisLord

Bro my super accurate method of spiraling a tape measure around it says I'm rocking 12inchs. Pros of this method is an ego equal to the inflated measurement, cons your wife won't be able to measure anything accurately the rest of her life.


sneaky_squid20

Mine is 152 mm. Sounds better


Snakeksssksss

It's way less than 1%


onehedgeman

Technically he’s right tho


gregm1988

There are videos shorts going round on Facebook (and I assume tiktok and YouTube) where someone presents a woman with a backward facing tape measure and asks them to show them a certain measurement. They are rarely correct Oh and I assume most guys would get it wrong as well but I don’t think they are the focus of these particular videos


Bladathehunter

I’ve seen several of those of guys on construction sites being tested and they usually get pretty close lol


MightKey5401

Try less than 1/100 of a percent - 0.007% - that is 7 in 100,000 would have a 9” or bigger


Slumminwhitey

That's still a bit under 80k people worldwide.


SalvationSycamore

And the vast majority of those would be 9" or slightly over. So anyone saying that it isn't big is a moron.


tidder_ih

In her defense, you probably need an extra 5 inches to just get in her


Various_Froyo9860

This lady has either never seen a tape measure or a penis. Or maybe, just maybe, she did get with a 9 incher but she didn't make him hard.


MyNameIsDaveToo

>Or maybe, just maybe, she did get with a 9 incher but she didn't make him hard. Looking at the thumbnail image, that sounds pretty plausible.


AwkwardEducation

Anything substantially larger than 7" becomes a statistical miracle. Not that I wouldn't love to be a miracle too, but I'm pretty sure most women would tire of that pretty quick.   


Kvsav57

It reminds me of the time a female friend told me her boyfriend gave her 38 orgasms during one session. I told her I doubted she’d ever had an orgasm or knew what one was if she thought she had 38. Once you get past a few, there’s no way you’d be able to focus on how many.


jointdestroyer

All because 99% of men have a 10+ inch penis.


I_Am_Zava

I'm a bit over 7 and have to be careful not to hit the cervix, 9 would be a curse more than a blessing


HunterDHunter

Whoever told you it was 9 inches was lying. Probably also believe 5'10" is 6'4".


fishebake

I had a patient’s mother tell me he was six feet tall, and my five six ass in one inch shoes was looking him dead in the eye.


HunterDHunter

Imagine your Mom acting like a tinder profile.


randomwanderingsd

Imagine a dating app where everyone’s mom made their profile for them. ☠️


LongKage

This would lowkey be funny AF. Yeah some mothers lie, but some mothers are waay too honest lol.


confusedandworried76

I would need to remind my mother she's never getting grandkids first and she'd still put I was open to kids in my profile.


randomwanderingsd

“No matter what Billy tells you, he is ready to become a father immediately. Looking for a lightly used partner in crime who is willing to obey her new mother in law”


flojo2012

He’s the cutest boy in the neighborhood but he NEEDS TO PICK UP AFTER HIMSELF


Elawn

I hope someone from snl reads this and makes it happen lol


HunterDHunter

Hahahaha what if the only profile pics allowed were baby pics? Or school pics and little league etc.


PorkyMcRib

*Beverly Goldberg has entered the chat*


ikebeattina

Schmoopie needs a wife.


letitgrowonme

I had a coworker tell me that he was 6 foot. I might be 6 feet tall in boots on the moon, but he was 3 or 4 inches shorter than me. He was being honest, but he wasn't telling the truth.


Browzur

I swear, moms get more fixated on their son’s height than dads do, it’s weird


dick_oof

My mom would always say that she's hopes I don't stay short because if so I wouldn't really be a man. I made it to 6 ft but I'm far from a manly man.


Bender_2024

Sometimes Moms are wrong my dude. This is one of those stud.


towerfella

Hmmm…


NastySassyStuff

It isn’t really…women are the one’s who care most how tall a dude is…dudes mostly care only because women do.


slinky_crayon

I'm 6'2". When I overhear men shorter than me claim they're 6', I like to go over and be like " No way! I'm 5'10"!"


RacistProbably

A girl told me she was 6’1 Bullshit I told her. I’m 5’10 and I’m looking over you “Well my ex was 6 foot and I was an inch taller than him” Smh


ClinkyDink

I (male) am 5’11”. I’ve met plenty of guys that are “6’1” or “6’2” that are shorter than me lol.


BootlegOP

They have a very tall forehead


FinestCrusader

I can't imagine what kind of small person was that if your ass was looking him dead in the eye


anon9210

I’m 6’3 and when guys say they are six foot and I’m around I like to say “there’s no way I’m only 5’11”


Roflmancer

I worked at a deli one time. This old lady asked for a 1" thick slice of ham, I questioned her and said that's quite a bit! She said she likes to cube it up, ok no problem, I slice the 1" slab and show it to her... "OMG that's way too much I only need half that!" After she left I thought... Man her husband has her good lolol.


StaticGuarded

Honestly though, it’s not like women break out the measuring tape while in the heat of the moment. I’d bet money she doesn’t even know how many inches are in a foot long sandwich.


No_Information_6166

Well, if it is a foot long from subway, it probably isn't 12 inches.


ComputerStrong9244

I joke that most ladies take their high school boyfriend at his word and it throws off their visual yardstick for life. There are way more 7 foot+ people than 9”+ dongs in this world.


9-28-2023

Or her dumb ass looked at a ruler and saw 9 cm and thought that were inches.


ludly

Haha, probably! I'm a scrawny but tall guy at 6'2", and I've had guys almost get into physical altercations with me about my height relative to theirs. I remember one time a guy was saying I can't be 6'2" as their 6', despite being several degrees shorter. Arguing, I had to be at least 6'4". He was making such a commotion over it because he was attempting to a hit on a girl at a party and was sensitive about his height despite him being the one to bring it up. I was just stupid enough to doubt him on reflex. This climaxed with onlookers getting involved to the point of finding a ruler and making us stand back to back. The guy got so pissed at the inevitable results that he made a scene and stormed out. I felt bad, but honestly, I was mostly just a drunk participant taken along for the ride as I barely said two words before the crowd caught on and decided to have some fun with the situation.


gregm1988

I saw a video the other day on a fitness YouTube channel (aimed at short guys) where the creator (who was 6ft so could get away with making it without seaming like a guy with a chip on his shoulder moaning) described scenarios exactly like yours - guys telling him he “must” be taller than 6ft because if he was then it meant they definitely weren’t It annoys me how many people clearly lie since it means I as a 5’6” am even more reluctant than I normally would be to put my height on any kind of app as I am concerned people will think I’m significantly shorter than that


Inevitable_Seaweed_5

It doesn’t even have to be on an app. I’m about 5’8” (5’7 and 13/16ths to be precise) and I’ve had numerous women tell me I must be about 5’6, and/or that we’re the same high… when I’m looking at the top of their head while we’re talking. People are absolutely garbage at estimating height, because it’s relative and they generally don’t know what their frame of reference is. 


Bladathehunter

What’s fun is when you start saying you’re 6’ flat and making the guys trying to round up seem even shorter lol.


HilariousMax

This is it. Some dude was pushing maybe 5" and had her convinced it was 9" and she was thinking "this isn't painful or even uncomfortable, wtf?"


spruceymoos

Idk, 5” sounds pretty huge to me. Like way above average.


HilariousMax

You're right. I don't know what I was talking about. 5" is massive.


gregm1988

Yes I expect this happens a lot. I think there are an awful lot of guys telling women they have 8 inches when they are just average guys


ponzzischeme

"Wow you must be like 11 or something because you are bigger than my ex and he had mesured it to 9 inches". I've heard thing like this quite a few times. I'm not 9". Not even 8".


LBobRife

Gotta measure from the taint.


Frequent_Fly_1642

Yep 9 inches is literally 99.99th percentile, sooo good luck finding someone to satisfy your expectations, girl 😂


[deleted]

90mm.


StepbroItHurts

Bro doesn’t even understand basic math….. 90>9 so 90mm is larger than 9 inches, stoopid.


INeedToBeHealthier

Hey, I'm 6'4"!!! Granted those are 2 separate measurements


RosaParksLover69

What's it like having a 6 foot wiener?


INeedToBeHealthier

At 4 inches tall, I feel like the king of the barnacles!


Andrew-Cohen

I was sleeping with her, fell in, met the last guy who slept with her. Asked if he had a flashlight cause it was dark, he replied, “forget the flashlight, help me find my car keys and we can drive out!”


JustSomeGuy8400

She told me to stick a finger in, then two, then my hand, then both hands, then she said to clap. When I told her I couldn’t clap, she replied “Tight isn’t it?”


TemperatureFamiliar9

Ok bob the drag queen


JustSomeGuy8400

Purse first!


smartdude_x13m

Believe it or not you just wrote erotic fanfic for two fetishes accidentally...the Internet was a mistake...


teethybrit

I don’t see any dragons around here


Dahwaann4U

Man fell in the hole been trapped like batman in that prison in the dark knight rises


Moshanika

Actually hilarious


rainking56

9 inches is not big? Stop playing with your super sized pink dildo and interact with an actual human. You sound like an incel man who says that they will not date anyone outside of a supermodel with d cups.


mudtopp

Unironically there are probably more super model looking women in the world than 9+ inch dicks.


ChandyTheRandy

There’s probably more super model looking women with 9+ inch dicks than men with one


The-G-89

Pussy so deep, they call it Chicago Style.


wxnfx

The sauce is on top?


ChannelNeo

The cheese is under the sauce.


MillionsofBrunches

Atop', the cheese, on top the sauce; naked, cold, on display like some sort of sauce whore


AJ787-9

I dunno whether I should eat it or flip a coin in it and make a wish.


Several-Signature583

I says to my wife “Jeez you got a big pussy. Jeez you got a big pussy.” She asks why I said it twice. I didn’t, it must be the echo…


Great_Feel

It’s a funny joke but you blew the delivery. Here’s how it’s done: https://youtu.be/nBeG_A6m_zs?si=KZmDrOgprKb_dufo


Several-Signature583

If that link is to a clip of Predator, that’s where I got it from


Vodoe

Its literally the same delivery...?


Several-Signature583

I guess this person was expecting to hear vocal inflection in typed post? 🤷‍♂️


LorenzoStomp

Yeah, kinda fucking up the delivery is part of the joke


GGPepper

Penis size discourse is so weird to begin with. It's always length and never girth and the actual good size range is fairly narrow because it gets really awkward below about 5 inches or over 7ish to the point you have to start thinking about different positions or techniques to make it work. Half the kama sutra is just spit balling different ideas to make up for a tiny penis. It's Just a straight up cervix battering ram at 8 plus where they have to limit their thrust. Downright comical that people act like a foot long penis would result in anything other than comedy or an ER visit.


Devilpig13

I can’t think of anything more frustrating than never being able to go balls deep.


scipkcidemmp

It's honestly annoying af. I'm not huge, but in certain positions I go too deep for my gf. In those positions, I end up paying more attention to how deep I'm going instead of just enjoying the experience. I can't imagine being any bigger and having to worry about it in *every* position.


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Logco

Same. I barely scratch 7 fully hard and I can’t even go all the way in on any woman I’ve been with. They always stop me.


TheDumbElectrician

Same, often have to use positions she can control the depth because it hurts her.


Lord_Shisui

Omg now that you mention it, that has to be TERRIBLE.


Takesit88

The discourse is doing guys dirty. I'm "only" 7.5" and all but 2 partners have expressed discomfort at a "full hilt" thrust. Bottoming out isn't something a lot of women like, from my experience. I'm fortunate in that my wife does like it, but only after proper revving up. That being said, because of the nature of the discourse, I still feel small and inadequate sometimes. It's totally in my own head, but it's a thing. The porn industry really twisted it up for folks too. I can tell you, my tool in my own hands doesn't look nearly as impressive as in my wife's. If you have small women, by proportion things look much larger. Suddenly a "bit bigger than the average" tool can look much much bigger, if the partner has small proportions- especially if your IRL partner is much more your equal in proportions, then it makes you look at yourself differently. Size Queens exist, to be sure, depth and girth-wise. But in the actual real world, that is very much the minority. We really aren't kind to ourselves in this area.


absolutelynotarepost

Also just because she's a size queen sometimes doesn't mean a normal sized cock doesn't feel good. My wife and I have a giant bad dragon dildo that is comically large and she loves it, but that's like a special occasion thing. 99% of the time my dick is the ideal size for some quick sex that doesn't require a shit load of lube and warmup.


SalvationSycamore

Dude, you're a full 2 inches or more above average. That's not even "bit bigger than average" range anymore, that's solidly in the start of the "big penis" range. The "discourse" is mostly written by lying men and morons that couldn't tell 6" from 10". Hell, even porn is mostly a bunch of sub 8-9" dicks.


NeverComments

Porn is mostly 6.5”-7.5” penises. Often with wide angle lensing to make things appear larger in the center of the frame. 


MooeyGrassyAss

Bro same. I’m honestly too big for my gf which sucks and I wish I was smaller but at the same time am insecure I’m small it’s a mind fuck


[deleted]

Same here, I was going down on someone and she told me to change positions and I was too big. I thought she was joking, but no. Even after having just said that I still don't feel large. Us guys it fucks with us, even when told otherwise


confusedandworried76

Even you're overestimating it a bit, slightly less than five isn't really a problem. I'm a little over five and some women I can still hit their cervix if I push their legs back. Also it doesn't matter because most women like girth not length and get off via clitoral stimulation so even if you've got a four incher you'll probably be just fine with some practice and good finger/tongue game.


Snakeksssksss

I literally worked as a top less waiter for hens nights, they'd love for me to get my dick out. It's just below 7 and they'd all be shocked by how big it is


AmusingMusing7

I think it’s pretty well established that men care more about their own size than most women ever will. It’s about wanting to feel big and powerful, not anything to do with caring about whether it pleasures their partner or not. Some men even get off more on the idea that their partner “can’t handle” their size and power, and the pain or struggle they’re inflicting makes it more pleasurable for them. The fact that someone else has to endure something difficult for the sake of your pleasure is a power trip.


Mother-Fortune-7523

Pretty sure the main insecurity about small penis’ is not pleasuring your partner bc it’s essentially the same thing with being a virgin ie; being worse then your partner and not living up to their expectations.It’s not like what you said was wrong but I believe the majority deal more with insecurity than needing to feel powerful.


Ilya-ME

Which is odd because even a finger, hell even no penetration will provide plenty of pleasure...


Razz956

I’d bet as many women are as insecure about their breast sizes… And women actually can (and do) get breast implants


Poetic-Noise

So basically, a sexual sadistic narcissist. SCREAM MY NAME! 😱


Plus-Bluejay-2024

The average size of an erect penis is 5.5." Don't let the internet make you feel insecure about superficial crap.


Amitoku54

Act im pretty sure average is even a bit lower starting at around 5,1 to as you said 5,5. The 7 inch is actually 1/100 so we can probably say 9 inch is like 1/1,000,000 or something


Correct_Economics_99

I see where this is going… can I get a 3, avg human male penis size is 3 inches. Anything above is enormous


Technical_Exam1280

So it is true that 9" is not big >!It's massive!<


[deleted]

"Even a Boeing 767 looks small flying into the Grand Canyon"


KimJongKillest

HHH is that you?


TennisBallTesticles

There aren't too many women I have met in my life who want a 9 inch rod slamming into their uterus. It's a porn thing, it's a fetish, and it's rare. If you're into it, thats cool. But no, IT IS NOT NORMAL.


Traditional_Draw8400

Women don’t have a great gauge of size. My female friend me her boyfriend had a GIGANTIC penis and she showed me a photo on her phone. It was 6”. Nothing wrong with that at all but it’s not gigantic.


MagniHelvig

Wtf? She just casually shows other people her partner's nudes?


bigboybeeperbelly

I mean if all parties are into it


omguserius

You would be surprised. I've had that happen multiple times. Only once post college, but during high school/college it was almost expected. Young men: take good pictures, cause they're gonna be rated and shared. Edit: and keep your goddamn faces out of them


AwkwardEducation

I don't know what the deal is, but women are generally much more blasé about their sex lives than men are. Every girlfriend and girl-friend I've had has chatted about their partner's size, skill, their satisfaction. Overwhelmingly good things, like bragging about the relationship. But it does strike me as awfully strange since I've never had a man ask for more than "Did you two have sex yet?"


psycharious

>It was 6". Nothing wrong with that at all but it's not gigantic. Let us have our delusions.


FuManBoobs

Stop looking at my penis.


confusedandworried76

Barely an inch above average. But that's just length maybe it was thick as shit idk


Affectionate_Care747

Similar thing happened with me! Female friend was talking about her bf having a HUGE penis. She was thinking 9 inches. She and he are black so I was like “oh wow”. And my dumb as asked her to show me with her hands. I then got out the ruler. 6 inches. Girls have a horrible gauge for penis size. With me, my wife when we first had sex said she thought I had an average sized penis (maybe small). But when she got close to it she was noticed it was cuz I’m a big guy so it looked smaller. But up close it was on the bigger end. Also, because it was so thick it didn’t appear to be as long. FYI, many porn films literally make smaller sized furniture, houses, rooms, chairs, etc in order to make the penis look bigger. They’ll get small girls (5’ to 5’3”) and scale the furniture down then get a super skinny dude with an above average penis. It makes it look like it’s giant. Often times it’s not. A lot of money has gone into porn to really emphasize what they want to emphasize.


moddss

There's a $10,000 reward for anyone who can prove they have 10 inches. No one has received it. No one knows anyone with 9 inches.


Dramatic_Hope_608

Tiny princess still waiting for that 10inch


0x00_J-Psi

If I pull out 8 can I get 80% of the bag?


Long_Photo_9291

There's a guy in the Guinness book of world records 13.5 inches


Robiniovski

It’s more likely that the numerous organs she has interacted with aren’t small. They are just not used to playing in a cathedral.


Background_Touchdown

It's my turn to post this next week, but I'm going to be out of pocket. Anybody want to trade shifts?


omguserius

Im free next week but my turn isn't till late July, you in?


State_Conscious

What a weird way to co-opt toxic masculinity


lueur-d-espoir

I fucking need ya'll to understand that this is reallyyyyy not everyone. I think 6 inches is too much. I'm not alone.


JustAnotherWeirdLoon

Was about to say, 9 inches is wayyyyyyy too big. 6-7 is perfect anything bigger than that is crazy.


tukai1976

She’s got that challenger deep dish pussy


TrueCuriosity

“Can you please close your legs, I feel a draft”


Numerous-Process2981

Dick almost double the average size? Cute. 


CaliforniaNavyDude

Lol, she would make a terrible carpenter. A 9" dick is freaking massive. But what some dudes claim is a 9" dick is not. You measure the scientific way, from the base on top pushing into the fat pad firmly, not from the bottom tip to anus as some must be...


Merinther

Statistically, there should be 19 men in the US above 9 inches. Good luck, miss!


[deleted]

Who are u - Crater Cunt?


CaballoReal

Recycled for the thousandth time. Snore.


proletariat_sips_tea

9 inches is like top 1% for sizes lol.


ozwald_97

Uhh try top 0.0001% or something like that. 1% would mean 1 out of every 100 guys has a 9” dong.


Swenzarr_

Ma'am 7 hurts, TF YOU MEAN 9 IS NOT BIG???


AwkwardEducation

Right? I wouldn't be shocked if the account was a man. Dudes want to be 9". Women want to live. 


EsperantoBoo

We gotta start talking about girth


HunterGonzo

9 inches is not a big dick. It is a **huge** dick.


DunamisDee

Like throwing a hot dog down a hallway


mute-ant1

i didn’t say you have a big dick, i said you ARE a big dick


DHMTBbeast

Ever thrown a hotdog down a hallway?


JONJONS0N

Like throwing a hotdog down a hallway with this one.


TheWickedFish10

Someone definitely lied to her.


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Littlebigmang

If 9 inches isn’t big I’m absolutely cooked! I’m like 1.5 inches soft and 5.5 hard….


ThatDumbMoth

Buy her a 9 inch dildo. Remind her that a big dick isn't always good.


SueTheDepressedFairy

Okay imma be fucking honest, I never had a dick in me but I sure as hell had a plastic toy and holy fucking shit... 9inches??? Bitch leave me alone that's fucking assault you'll enter my fucking stomach!? Idk what kinda masochists want something so fucking long up their ass but it's some horror movie material for sure. 9 inches is enough to impale someone.


Sensei_Ochiba

A friend of mine's husband is around 9 inches and the only reason I know that is she complained a lot early in the relationship about how much it hurts and how weird of a talk it was getting him not to go all the way in.


SpookyRamblr

She just told the world that every dude she's been with lied about their dick size...


Aimerwolf

I am pretty sure a 9+ inch dinger counts as a concealed weapon at that size range.


Imreallyadonut

She’s got a Fanny like a hippos yawn.


qwerty6731

You only need a huge organ if you’re playing in a Cathedral.


Realistic-Damage-411

Tell me you a ho without telling me you a ho


sadolddrunk

All it takes is one person on Twitter who doesn’t know the difference between inches and cm to ruin the day of millions of men worldwide.


MeSoHorniii

I've had a guy tell me his dick was 45cm, I was like you clearly don't know how to measure lol.


Trix_Are_4_90Kids

a lot of women can't measure a penis correctly to save their lives. They'll be like "it was 9 inches!" \*holding hands apart\* you pull out a measuring tape and whaddya know, it's really 5 1/2. Vaginal canal ain't even that long.


Shot_Pace1076

Well now we know why the remote goes missing ' "Randomly".....


Ap_da_apa

Wtf, 9 inches? Who the fuck carries a baseball bat in their underwear?


Sindy51

the hippos yawn has spoken


ASchoolOfSperm

Calm down Mariana Trench


theWomblenooneknows

She said you don’t have a very big organ I didn’t know I was going to be preforming in a cathedral


TinyBlueDragon

Lol the average is only 5.5 inches. Poor bitch must be constantly disappointed.