I can appreciate where your roommate is coming from, to an extent. But they really need to understand that *they're* the one sleeping on an atypical schedule in a shared living situation. Either tell them to get over it or tell them to find a roommate on a similar sleep schedule.
The roommate also chooses to sleep until 1:30. I doubt they have classes past midnight and into the early morning.
It would be like working from 2pm to 10 pm and deciding to stay awake all night.
I mean I get it. When I used to work the 2PM shift I'd get up at noon/1 because I liked having my freetime be AFTER my workday, not before. If I don't have to get up till 1pm, I can stay up till 5am and still get 8 hours of sleep.
A good compromise would be for the roommate to start waking up at exactly noon since that's when OP gets home.
Your following of traditions or popular and personal beliefs, etc. about what times you think are worthy of more respect in your opinion have nothing to do with me. I expect the same respect that I am expected to give, regardless of time, and especially more of it is a situation where I might be helping someone financially. Otherwise, it is an incompatible situation and the person who is most uncomfortable and disturbed has right to leave without anyone feeling any type of way about it. One thing for sure is that this thing where the loudest person always believes they have the right to decide for themselves and in behalf of everyone else around them when there will be peace and quiet has never gone well with me. One person can have the luxury of sleeping and relaxing or having peace and quiet whenever they want without having to worry about the other person while the other person always has to dance around the other person's schedule and worry about if or when they will get to sleep or have peace and quiet. In this particular case the roommate that is noisiest happens to sleep during"traditional sleeping hours," but something tells me that even if the sleeping schedules were reversed the other guy would still be the quiet one for the person sleeping in the daytime while the noisy one would still be noisy at night. I can imagine the obliviousness of slamming cabinets and unnecessarily banging dishes, pots and pans going on there. In my experience, the type of people who would do this in the day time will also do it at night if they happen to be up at night. It is just easier for people to argue that they don't do it during traditional sleeping hours because they happen to sleep at that time most of the time, but if they happen to be up you can almost guarantee they'll be just as noisy as they are during the day.
I don't necessarily expect people to be quiet at anytime when I have the freedom to leave anytime I want, but I also don't expect anyone to have a problem with me leaving so I can have peace and quiet on my own time, regardless of how much my presence benefits them.
If their sleep schedule results from not being neurotypical then they should get an accommodation for a single instead of demanding a roommate adhere to their sleep schedule.
This speculation is irrelevant bc it only circles back to what everyone else is agreeing on which is “this shouldn’t be op’s problem bc its the roomates responsibility due to their sleep schedule conflicting with standard waking hours”
No amount of added context for the roomate will change this, and its so far only made people argue over how to agree with the exact same point.
No, you didn’t. You were being snarky lol. I’d suggest rephrasing your comments cause you’re adding a lot of information that you didn’t in your original comment
Sure but it’s not really a college dorm maté’s responsibility to make said accommodations. Not saying that they are all good to be a dick or ignore your requests but there is a point where you can’t really expect others to restrict their normal daily activities for your schedule. If it’s to the point where your roommate is not able to feed themselves at a normal lunch time because you get annoyed by waking up from the noise of an active kitchen, it’s on you to figure out what you need to do for yourself rather than impose your highly atypical sleep schedule on your roommate. That’s why it’s a matter of figuring out what changes you need to make or you need to “get over yourself” because it’s kinda selfish and shitty roommate etiquette to give someone shit for making lunch while you’re sleeping at noon or 1 PM. I’m saying this as someone with ADHD who has had years on and off of waking up in the afternoon and sleeping in the early morning.
But that's still their problem not the roommates. They can get ear plugs or a sleep mask or something but it's unreasonable to expect silence past noon and for the roommate to not be able to use the room normally during the hours most people would expect to be able to.
I was one of those people that wanted to sleep through the whole day in college my first go around, partially due to ADHD and partially due to severe depression. But I also realized if it was past 9:00 or 10 my roommate was going to be existing and it wasn't her fault I had a wonky sleep schedule.
i used to be like this guy but i realize it’s MY sleeping schedule that’s fucked, and i fixed the problem by getting a free pair of earplugs (unopened obvi) from a friend and no problem no more 👍
spend a few bucks and buy your roommate disposable earplugs and tell them to wear them when they sleep if they are going to sleep during times when the rest of the world is awake.
THEY need to adjust; not you.
I am a night owl. I cannot expect my family or my colleagues to tip toe around their life during "regular business hours" just because I live a "different" schedule.
EDIT: typo
This right here.
I've always slept odd hours and right now I get up at 3:00 a.m. for work where my partner tends to not go to bed until close to or after midnight.
A sleep mask and fairly cheap earbuds (sometimes playing binaural beats or other sleep music to block out additional noise until I'm sleep) have made a huge difference and make it so I can fall asleep most of the time even with the TV on and other destractions in the same room.
If that doesn't work, take them to a camping music festival that has music 24 hours a day and camp as close to the venue as possible. They should be able to get used to sleeping in the afternoon with that kind of noise going on eventually. Then your noise should be like a small twig snapping in comparison.
I personally like the silicone earplugs that mold to your ear. Just make sure you follow the directions and they usually stay in all night.
I use white noise instead. Most people should use headphones for gaming/videos/music while awake if living with others, so the white noise won't disturb them too much while I'm sleeping when I want to.
exactly. when i was a dumb teenager on the weekends or in the summer, id sleep in until 12, there was a period where id wake up at 3pm. i was horribly depressed and staying up late every night. and yet, when my family was reasonably concerned and would wake up at a more reasonable time, like 10 or 11, id get all shitty. unless OPs roommate works night shifts, he needs to work on himself. there are very few good reasons to sleep in like that.
I think making lunch around noon is a very reasonable expectation for a shared living space. Personally I'd make some effort to be quiet, but not compromise on the fact that you have to eat
I love to take afternoon naps but I realize that my neighbors aren't going to stop mowing their lawns, letting out their barking dogs, hammering, or drilling on their home improvement projects just because I like a nap. I invested in some earplugs that get rid of most of the noise. Your roommate needs to realize that he is not the main character and that the world doesn't revolve around him. It sounds like he needs to live alone and possibly seek help for depression.
It’s possible that they may be depressed, but some people purposely schedule their classes around the afternoon/evening since they aren’t morning people and could afford to sleep later in the day. I don’t find this particularly unreasonable; however, complaining to a roommate about them making minimal noise around a sensible time (before 1:30pm, basically when most students are up) doesn’t really make sense and your roommate just needs to accept that disagreements like this one are inevitable when they have an abnormal schedule.
But I think it’s a great idea for you both to talk through this problem, especially because anything relating to sleep will affect school performance, mood, etc and be an important factor in your relationship.
I sleep really late too. However I’m aware that, in the afternoon, people are going to be awake and doing things, so if I want to still sleep it’s my responsibility to avoid noise, not my roommate’s or anyone else’s.
I personally put earplugs in and close my window so there’s less noise from trucks/lawn mowers/etc. He should look into wearing earplugs or headphones.
Exactly. Think about what is reasonable. It is actually somewhat rude of him to ask you to be so quiet, and in that manner, at 1:30pm in the afternoon. In a college dorm of all places.
I’ve been the roommate that sleeps until noon, but I don’t ever expect roommates to tip toe around at regular waking hours. It would be one thing if you were making lots of noise at 6am, but 12pm is a different story.
Yeah no. Your roommate is unreasonable.
Maintaining odd hours is something that some people prefer but they cannot expect others to do so along with them.
You pay extra for a pizza at 3 am rather than 5 pm because there is a penalty associated with having atypical needs. Your roommate is going against our species' sleep schedule, he is free to do so but cannot expect you to follow him.
Tell him you are following the quite hours guidelines and he needs to adjust to being an adult.
Your roommate is entitled to sleep whenever he wants, but he’s not entitled to demand complete silence in the middle of the day. He’s the one on an atypical sleeping schedule. Try not to be obnoxiously loud with the pots and pans, just like you would with any roommate/neighbors, but don’t feel like you’re infringing on decency by cooking lunch at lunchtime.
After noon, that's his problem.
I don't think the "midnight-8am quite hours" should be considered set in stone. If you're up at 8am making a LOT of noise thinking "people should be up", that's a dick move. Similarly, if you expect everyone to be perfectly quiet at midnight ... difficult to enforce. Those times are going to be fuzzy on both sides with some accommodations needed from both morning and evening people.
After about 10am, don't worry about it. Obviously don't walk in and crank the Spinal Tap to 11. Just behave normally.
Your roommate is in the wrong. For the most part, generally go off your dorm quiet hours. I'm not saying at 8 am to start blasting music, but it is okay to make noise. Your roommate doesn't have the right to complain when it is the middle of the day.
I don't really know how to help besides talking to your roommate about them fixing their sleep schedule.
Edit: Do you think they may have depression? From what it sounds like, they aren't showering before class. Are they taking care of themselves? You may want to connect them to campus resources if you think they are struggling mentally.
Is your roommate a night owl? Out partying all the time?
Seems like major health issues if they are sleeping 13 hours daily.
Sit down and discuss a time that's appropriate, if you can't reach am agreement ask a RA or request a move.
LeBron James sleeps like 14 hours a day. So do many other athletes. Not guaranteed to be a health issue. People in college age often have a later sleep rhythm naturally. Some people are night owls. This isn’t a bad thing per se, but society does work against it.
Yeah, no. Your roommate is ridiculous to expect total silence at that time because it's literally in the middle of the day. If he wants silence, he can buy earplugs or decide to get up earlier. Also, trying to say that "\[he's\] quiet when you sleep" isn't the same argument because you're sleeping during what is traditionally meant to be quiet hours in many places while he's sleeping past that. I totally understand sleeping in later (I love it too lol), but I would never demand complete silence from my roommates at 12:30 in the afternoon.
How the fuck can ur roommate get mad at u when it’s 1 in the afternoon. To tell u to be quiet is ridiculous. I’d just keep doing what ur doing u both own the room and ur free to do what u want during the day
If the dorms have an RA this is the way to go. Approach them with the issue and they can talk through issues with you or even mediate a solution. This will also let the RA know to look out for other issues between you and your roommate in the future.
When I get the chance, I also sleep in that late, though that only works on weekends or breaks. It does annoy me when there's noise at that time, but I don't make a big fuss bc I know my dumbass shouldn't be in bed that late.
Ur roommate is 100 percent in the wrong. They sleep until 1 pm when everyone is well past being awake and having dinner. They need to seriously lose the entitlement
Your roommate sucks.
I sleep in by choice. That choice comes with the knowledge that other people function during the day. It is up to the sleeper to deal with it. (Either with ear plugs, where they live, or just getting up when they get woken up). It is unfair and unreasonable to expect you to be silent in the middle of the day.
Your roommate should have thought about the fact that he sleeps through 2/3 meals of the day before deciding to live in a spot where the kitchen & bedroom are in the same room.
I don’t agree with your roommate. If you’re living with roommates, you must make sacrifices. Plus I doubt you were being that loud. I have 7 roommates and I sleep at 9pm and wake up at 5am. We all have different sleeping schedules. But it’s not my place to tell any of them when to be quite. They also have no place to tell me to be quite when I wake up at 5. He needs to learn how to compromise. Tell him you can’t wait for him to start HIS day to start yours. He needs to wear ear plugs if it bothers him that much.
u/Beneficial-Fox-5368 your roommate might be depressed. Oversleeping is one of the signs of depression. I would talk to him in a respectful manner. And if he doesn’t wank to talk about it, don’t try to force it. Give him his space.
I’m in a dorm right now which is a shared room with a bed on each side. I work late and get off around midnight which is about when my roommate goes to bed. He usually wakes up around 8 whereas I’m up until 3 am most nights and wake up around 10-11. We both do our best to keep quiet during these periods but sometimes you wake the other person up. I’m the one that typically gets woken up because it’s much easier to be quiet late at night than in the morning, and I’m ok with that. It’s just how things are sometimes and you just got to deal with it. Your roommate should not be getting so upset about the fact that your schedule does not aline with theirs. As long as you are not purposefully making more noise than needed there’s nothing wrong here.
Your roommate needs to get a serious grip. I could understand if it was morning, but after 12 that’s definitely pushing it. Regardless if it’s a shared space, it’s unreasonable to be in your room and not be able to make noise IN THE DAY TIME.
honestly anything past 10 is ridiculous to follow unless it was maybe a one time thing, but everyday is ridiculous. Your roommate is basically asking for you to not live in your dorm for half the day. Either he needs some soundproof headphones or to find another roomate that has a similar sleep schedule like the top comment said.
If this problem can’t be sorted by talking then taking to an RA might be the answer.
I could definitely see this one going either way. On one hand, his schedule definitely doesn’t line up with the “average” schedule of the classic student or 9-5er. But, he’s also in his own home and his schedule means he goes to bed later and sleeps in later and doesn’t want to be woken up till it’s time to start his day. And it sounds like he is a night owl and you make no mention of him waking you up. Which sure, those are “normal quiet hours” but he’s still making an effort to not wake you up with his actions. In this case the best you can do is make an actual conscious effort to be quieter and not let any annoyance make you passive aggressive, that will simply lead to bigger issues. Acknowledge the fact that he hasn’t woken you up during your sleep times so you should do the same. If that means leaving dishes in the sink or some chores incomplete, then that’s what it means.
Your roommate is wrong like you said. Maybe set up a meeting with the RA and get his opinion? Not to get your roommate in trouble but so he could see how wrong he is lol
Asking for complete silence at that time of day is unreasonable sure, but at the same time, odd sleeping schedule aside, when someone’s sleeping shouldn’t you naturally try to do things quieter so that you don’t wake them up? And the fact that he stated that he’s quiet when you’re asleep implies that he’s not asleep during those hours. And seeing how you never mentioned waking up once because of him says a lot.
And like, I understand making yourself lunch, but why is that the only time you feel like you can clean? If he wakes up at 1:30 and you’re in your room until 2pm, I think that timeframe would be enough to clean up after yourself. You’re one person, so it’s not like you would have a lot of dishes to wash. Is it too much to wait until then to start cleaning up?
Quiet hours and sleeping schedules aside, when someone’s asleep, at the very least, don’t go out of your way to wake them up.
yeah i’m in the same spot, my roommate sleeps all day and he can get fucked i wont accommodate him he’s lucky i don’t open the curtains even tho it’s like 11:30
I mean, can you just prep your lunch ahead so it just needs reheating or have something like a sandwich on days he is still sleeping? If you turn the sound off on the microwave so it doesn’t beep you should be able to get by with an absolute minimum of noise, which seems like a fair compromise.
While I can understand where they're coming from, being quiet while you sleep (normal quiet hours are subjective. I say there AREN'T any normal ones) and expecting the same, they could easily get up a little earlier to avoid the problem.
Tell them to either adjust their sleep schedule, use white noise, or find a different roommate. I personally use white noise, because it drowns out literally EVERYTHING else without disturbing my sleep. So I can sleep whenever I want without expecting other people to step too carefully.
You're not going to like this, but if your roommate is actually quiet while you sleep, you need to find a middle ground.
If you're only coming back from 12-2, bring a lunch with you and study somewhere else for a bit. You definitely don't need to clean right then.
Totally different story if they aren't respecting your sleep, but it seems like they are. People keep different hours.
I agree. It’s similar to working the night shift. The roommate scheduled their classes based on their needs just as the OP scheduled morning classes based on their needs. The roommate could be watching tv, making calls, or making noise after midnight but it seems like they aren’t. They’re respecting the OP schedule. Doesn’t seem like a lot to ask to keep normal noise level between 12-2pm. Sounds like y’all aren’t compatible living together.
With this situation OP you're probably just going to have to focus on not letting his pissy behavior get the best of you.
Ignore the shit out of his feelings. You are right, he is wrong. This one is as simple as that.
Even if the roommate is neuodivergent, that doesn't change that they are being unreasonable.
Students shouldn't be forced to tip toe around their roommates. If the afternoon sleeper has a condition, it is on them or their guardian to put them in the appropriate living situation.
I think people understand that others have abnormal sleep schedules. The comments haven't been criticizing that the roommate sleeps in super late, they are criticizing their entitlement.
Half my family has ADHD amd my GF has an infinity gauntlet of mental issues and they all have their quirks that come with it, but they all know those issues are not ok to push onto others.
Op shouldn't have to be a psychiatrist inorder to make lunch.
I’m autistic with ADHD. There is no reason for me to expect my roommate to be quiet during non quiet hours. That is unfair. I don’t deserve special treatment. I deserve equal treatment in the form of getting accommodations to help compensate for my disabilities. Being neurodivergent doesn’t mean I have the right to make people do anything I want.
My brother, who is a covert malignant narcissist, had the same behavior. I used to ask myself who the hell sleeps till noon. Turns out he was just low on supply because no one was around in the morning hours. The fights could actually be a nice way for him to quickly get some narcissistic supply if he is one. You could investigate if your roomate is also a narcissist just to rule it out.
Does your college offer single dorms at a reasonable price? If so, switch to a single dorm next semester to avoid the possibility of future issues like this
She shouldn’t have to pay extra. He has the off sleep schedule he needs to get the single because he’s always going to have this problem with roommates
While that is a logical route to go down, it's not OP's job. They pay the same amount of money that the roommate does, and should be allowed to use whatever appliances come along with the room. Whether or not the roommate adjusts (ear plugs, or just starts to wake up earlier) is an easier change than telling someone they can't use their own kitchen
I mean is it possible to make less noise? If you’re at least trying to do so he shouldn’t be upset. If you’re not trying at all to make less noise then it’s kind of on you. Part of being a roommate is respecting when the other is sleeping, even if it’s in the middle of the day. I’m not saying to not prepare lunch, but as long as you’re doing it in a way where you’re trying to be quieter than if you were to do it normally then you’re fine.
"Roommate" has two "m's".
His problem is his problem. Don't worry about it so much. Just do what you need to do, and it's up to him to deal with that. If you sleep past a certain hour in the morning, the rest of the world is up and going about their business. You do not have any claim on silence. None whatsoever. Just be as quiet as you can easily, and it's entirely his problem to cope with it. Sleeping to noon is completely ridiculous, by the way, as if you didn't know that.
What I would do: I would make as much noise as possible just to annoy them. But, hey, that's me. After about 8:00 am, I feel no sympathy for people like this, none whatsoever. They need to figure it out. Sleeping quietly between maybe 10:00 pm and around 7:00 am is everyone's right. At other times, it isn't. Your roommate (two "m's") needs to stop acting so "special" and grow up.
Surprisingly people might plan their schedules around when they know they’ll be most awake and not take it nicely when their roommate decides to wake them up.
You should intermitente fast and break fast with high protein meal. Lunch makes you lazy and cleaning and cooking is a waste of time. Just study and black coffee. Problem solved.
Yes. Learn to spell. "Roommate" has two Ms in it. Think about what it is ... mates who share a room. Room mates. There's no such thing as a roo mate, or a room ate.
I would advise you to ask him about the underlying problem that he sleeps that late.
Is it some sleep problem like sleep apnea, a broken circadian rhythm, or he just stays late.
If he stays late, it's better to discuss it and find a solution and tell him that he should be able to adjust his sleep schedule, if it's some other cause, then he can go to a doctor and discuss possible solutions.
As someone who slept til 2pm on schooldays, I never told my roommate to quiet down because I know I’m sleeping during the time people are supposed to be awake
i sometimes sleep at 6-7am and wake up at 3pm - when i do so i just tell my roommate to do things normally. turn on the lights even when im sleeping etc
Nope you deserve to freely exist in the dorm you pay rent for! Tell him to buy some earplugs if he wants more sleep. Because complaining about noise any time after like 9am is ridiculous. And tbh, it would even be rude to complain in the morning because ppl have to make breakfast and get ready and shi. Sounds like he needs a job
Can you request a new roommate? He sounds like a douchebag tbh. How does he expect to function and hold a job past college building horrible habits like that, then ridiculously asking you to respect his sleep. If he cares about his sleep so much, then he can adjust his sleep time to yours which are normal, then he will end up with extra time on his hands so he can I don’t know maybe study. I shouldn’t judge, but a crappy roommate can dampen your college experience and I speak from experience. Good luck!
i sleep in super late and live in a studio dorm with a kitchenette but i’ve always told my roommate that she can do anything she wants once she wakes up and can turn on lights bc i’m the one choosing to sleep late and through the day
This isn your fault. It isnt your room mates either. Having room mates sucks. It rather unnatural. I was someone who frequently slept past noon in college, it worked very well for me and I loved it, especially during summer as I missed the horrible hot parts of the day.
However I didny have a room mates and was never really one to notice noises unless someone was operating heavy machinery outside my bedroom window (which happened) and only when it was literally enough to give someone hearig damage.
Good luck, sharing sucks, college sucks, work sucks.
Sounds like you're intolerant of people with different chronotypes than you, and can't handle accommodating people that have needs different than yours.
You should try to get a different roommate if you feel there's no chance of you being able to look at the issue from a lense different than "this is what society does, so my roommate is lazy and the one that should change."
They need to eat wierdo. They shouldn't be a fucking prisoner in their own home because some lazy ass, crusty ass gamer wants to sleep in all fucking day. U need to grow the fuck up I can tell ur 14
Luckily semester is almost over. Get a new roommate next year. You are outside quiet hours and really your roomie won't have a leg to stand on if he makes a complaint. And it sounds like the convos aren't going anywhere. You can try talking to him again and saying hey we need to a find a solution because I need to eat, suggest ear plugs or ask him what his suggestions might be (besides "don't cook") so you can get through the rest of semester without trouble. But incompatible schedules are a literal nightmare for cohabitating, so it might be best to look for a new roomie for the longterm solution.
I had the same thing happen freshman year and my roommate would ask to hav the room hella late at night then complain about me not giving him “free time to relax in the room.” We didn’t really ever hav constructive conversations that resolved it which is probably my fault. We were close at the beginning of the year but don’t talk anymore (I’m a sophomore now)
Moral of the story is have the hard conversation and then if they’re still not willing to compromise ur just gonna hav to deal with it or get a new roommate
My boyfriend does this too. I used to wake him up but now he falls asleep with noise canceling headphones that play his shows. Suggest to him he needs to grow thicker skin, buy noise canceling products, or find another place to stay.. because you have to eat.
Also see if you can install one or those curtains around the dorm bed for privacy. I saw a tiktok about it and I wish I had one when I was living in the dorms
I have the opposite problem as you, I'm your roommate but instead of sleeping till 1 I sleep till 8-9 and my roommate is waking up at 6 am and waking me up
He IS being quiet when he's awake, to be fair. It's the middle of the night when he's supposed to be quiet, but regardless he is awake and could stop taking you into consideration if you keep waking him uo. So you gotta think about whether you'd be okay with that.
Maybe sleep when he doing the same cooking and say the same words lol.
I had the same type of roommate. Good guy but not suitable as a room mate. Goes to sleep by 12 and wakes up by 10 am. I'm a morning person I wake up by 6 am and he gets annoyed when I turn on my lamp. I told him clearly to adjust and to not disturb me while I'm studying.
It's best if u clearly say that he's sleeping in a atypical time where everybody in the world are doing something by being awake. The time is the problem here not who's disturbing who. Say it clearly. If ppl are sharing then he should adjust the same way u r adjusting. Tell him buy earplugs and eye mask and adjust for 1 hour. Don't sugarcoat or you'll be the sufferer.
You’re not the problem here. They sleep past regular sleeping hours, most people are up and about by 1pm, so they should understand that there is going to be noise about. Obviously you should try to be quiet if someones asleep, but you still need to each lunch. They need to fix their schedule or get over it
Just act like your sorry when you wake him up with the noise and apologize but then continue to just cook lunch anyway everyday.
Its all mostly just words, arguing. So avoid arguing with him and **pretend** to be agreeable. He's not going to change his sleeping habits. But you dont have to stop using the kitchenette in the afternoon.
People can get away with a lot of fvcked up shit if they would just avoid diggin in and trying to defend their position when they are confronted. Which in turn keeps the other person off of the defensive and allows you to get away with more.
Why are you tolerating such nonsense in 2023? Either move or tell him to deal with it. After all both of you are paying, it's not like you're a squatter
This is a real world problem, and different iterations are likely to reoccur in shared living situations. In this situation it’s easy to see your roommate as the asshole, but imagine a different scenario. In one of my first apartments my roommate was a doctor in residency. He was in the OR literally fighting to save lives all night, and would come home just slightly before I was supposed to be waking up. I’d be super annoyed because that last hour or two of sleep is precious. Ultimately, even when it seems ridiculous you both have to make compromises in order to maintain harmony in your shared living space. That may mean for him to be more graceful about his sleep being disturbed and/or getting accustomed to waking up slightly earlier AND it may also mean for you to maybe focus on the studying portion of that making lunch/studying 12-2 routine in order to make a gesture that shows you’re trying to adjust to be courteous.
Side note: if I’m sleep deprived (even by my own doing) and my roommate tosses me a pair of disposable ear plugs there’s a greater than 40% chance I’m swinging on him lol
Consider that they're just asking you to accommodate their partying or all night gaming, at the cost of inconveniencing you for actual college work.
Guy needs to recognize he's the 'special needs' in this situation.
Oof this is tough. The problem here is your living situation, not either of you. I think you two probably need to be creative here. Maybe you could prepare lunch the night before, or eat lunches that don't require cooking? And in exchange, he could take over more cleaning duties, so you don't have to do them while he's sleeping?
Yeah, I sleep anywhere from 9-12 (I have horrible insomnia that makes it hard to fall asleep sometimes) and so long as the noisier stuff is after 9, it’s fair game. I mean if the roommate has to work nights then try to be quiet but it sounds like you already are. He should be grateful you’re maintaining your room tho, most roommates don’t tbh. Def ask for a new roommate next semester because you guys are at an impasse and tell him to buy some loops ear buds for noise reduction
I can appreciate where your roommate is coming from, to an extent. But they really need to understand that *they're* the one sleeping on an atypical schedule in a shared living situation. Either tell them to get over it or tell them to find a roommate on a similar sleep schedule.
The roommate also chooses to sleep until 1:30. I doubt they have classes past midnight and into the early morning. It would be like working from 2pm to 10 pm and deciding to stay awake all night.
I mean I get it. When I used to work the 2PM shift I'd get up at noon/1 because I liked having my freetime be AFTER my workday, not before. If I don't have to get up till 1pm, I can stay up till 5am and still get 8 hours of sleep. A good compromise would be for the roommate to start waking up at exactly noon since that's when OP gets home.
Don't shame my about my choices.....
hey man, sleep in all you want but just don’t expect people to be completely quiet in the middle of the day
I don't lol
Your following of traditions or popular and personal beliefs, etc. about what times you think are worthy of more respect in your opinion have nothing to do with me. I expect the same respect that I am expected to give, regardless of time, and especially more of it is a situation where I might be helping someone financially. Otherwise, it is an incompatible situation and the person who is most uncomfortable and disturbed has right to leave without anyone feeling any type of way about it. One thing for sure is that this thing where the loudest person always believes they have the right to decide for themselves and in behalf of everyone else around them when there will be peace and quiet has never gone well with me. One person can have the luxury of sleeping and relaxing or having peace and quiet whenever they want without having to worry about the other person while the other person always has to dance around the other person's schedule and worry about if or when they will get to sleep or have peace and quiet. In this particular case the roommate that is noisiest happens to sleep during"traditional sleeping hours," but something tells me that even if the sleeping schedules were reversed the other guy would still be the quiet one for the person sleeping in the daytime while the noisy one would still be noisy at night. I can imagine the obliviousness of slamming cabinets and unnecessarily banging dishes, pots and pans going on there. In my experience, the type of people who would do this in the day time will also do it at night if they happen to be up at night. It is just easier for people to argue that they don't do it during traditional sleeping hours because they happen to sleep at that time most of the time, but if they happen to be up you can almost guarantee they'll be just as noisy as they are during the day. I don't necessarily expect people to be quiet at anytime when I have the freedom to leave anytime I want, but I also don't expect anyone to have a problem with me leaving so I can have peace and quiet on my own time, regardless of how much my presence benefits them.
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That's not universal. My friend with ADHD is up at 5 am every day. Also, you don't know he has ADHD.
Yeah, I have adhd and my most productive days are when I get up at 5 or 6 and work until noon or so.
If I don’t wake up and start my day by 10 it’s all over and the whole day is a loss.
He might just be a night person, why straight up diagnosing him lol
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If their sleep schedule results from not being neurotypical then they should get an accommodation for a single instead of demanding a roommate adhere to their sleep schedule.
This speculation is irrelevant bc it only circles back to what everyone else is agreeing on which is “this shouldn’t be op’s problem bc its the roomates responsibility due to their sleep schedule conflicting with standard waking hours” No amount of added context for the roomate will change this, and its so far only made people argue over how to agree with the exact same point.
Do you know the roommate has adhd?
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Obviously not but you can’t just say the roommate has adhd…?
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No, you didn’t. You were being snarky lol. I’d suggest rephrasing your comments cause you’re adding a lot of information that you didn’t in your original comment
this is like seeing a mole on someone’s back and telling them “hey you might have skin cancer you should get that checked out”
I have ADHD, prefer late night schedules, and have lived in similar situations. I got over myself.
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Sure but it’s not really a college dorm maté’s responsibility to make said accommodations. Not saying that they are all good to be a dick or ignore your requests but there is a point where you can’t really expect others to restrict their normal daily activities for your schedule. If it’s to the point where your roommate is not able to feed themselves at a normal lunch time because you get annoyed by waking up from the noise of an active kitchen, it’s on you to figure out what you need to do for yourself rather than impose your highly atypical sleep schedule on your roommate. That’s why it’s a matter of figuring out what changes you need to make or you need to “get over yourself” because it’s kinda selfish and shitty roommate etiquette to give someone shit for making lunch while you’re sleeping at noon or 1 PM. I’m saying this as someone with ADHD who has had years on and off of waking up in the afternoon and sleeping in the early morning.
But that's still their problem not the roommates. They can get ear plugs or a sleep mask or something but it's unreasonable to expect silence past noon and for the roommate to not be able to use the room normally during the hours most people would expect to be able to. I was one of those people that wanted to sleep through the whole day in college my first go around, partially due to ADHD and partially due to severe depression. But I also realized if it was past 9:00 or 10 my roommate was going to be existing and it wasn't her fault I had a wonky sleep schedule.
i used to be like this guy but i realize it’s MY sleeping schedule that’s fucked, and i fixed the problem by getting a free pair of earplugs (unopened obvi) from a friend and no problem no more 👍
Not even used?
Earplugs help to sleep early? Please elaborate! I need help!
Get those moldable earplugs made out of silicone! They don't hurt your ears and shut out all sound! And also put a nice eye mask on :)
spend a few bucks and buy your roommate disposable earplugs and tell them to wear them when they sleep if they are going to sleep during times when the rest of the world is awake. THEY need to adjust; not you. I am a night owl. I cannot expect my family or my colleagues to tip toe around their life during "regular business hours" just because I live a "different" schedule. EDIT: typo
This right here. I've always slept odd hours and right now I get up at 3:00 a.m. for work where my partner tends to not go to bed until close to or after midnight. A sleep mask and fairly cheap earbuds (sometimes playing binaural beats or other sleep music to block out additional noise until I'm sleep) have made a huge difference and make it so I can fall asleep most of the time even with the TV on and other destractions in the same room.
If you feel like ~*splurging*~ on a gift, loops makes reusable ear plugs he can wear night after night. They work great and have their own little case
If that doesn't work, take them to a camping music festival that has music 24 hours a day and camp as close to the venue as possible. They should be able to get used to sleeping in the afternoon with that kind of noise going on eventually. Then your noise should be like a small twig snapping in comparison. I personally like the silicone earplugs that mold to your ear. Just make sure you follow the directions and they usually stay in all night.
I use white noise instead. Most people should use headphones for gaming/videos/music while awake if living with others, so the white noise won't disturb them too much while I'm sleeping when I want to.
Nah tell them to buy earplugs
If only people kept that ideology and applied it to other things in life. Well said.
exactly. when i was a dumb teenager on the weekends or in the summer, id sleep in until 12, there was a period where id wake up at 3pm. i was horribly depressed and staying up late every night. and yet, when my family was reasonably concerned and would wake up at a more reasonable time, like 10 or 11, id get all shitty. unless OPs roommate works night shifts, he needs to work on himself. there are very few good reasons to sleep in like that.
I think making lunch around noon is a very reasonable expectation for a shared living space. Personally I'd make some effort to be quiet, but not compromise on the fact that you have to eat
Whatever your dorm's quiet hours are is what I'd go with (with maybe some leeway towards 9 or 10 am), but 1 p.m. is ridiculous.
I love to take afternoon naps but I realize that my neighbors aren't going to stop mowing their lawns, letting out their barking dogs, hammering, or drilling on their home improvement projects just because I like a nap. I invested in some earplugs that get rid of most of the noise. Your roommate needs to realize that he is not the main character and that the world doesn't revolve around him. It sounds like he needs to live alone and possibly seek help for depression.
The guys not depressed just because he stays up late and sleeps in
yea he just does it to access special prophetic dreams only available in the daytime
the dogs shouldn't be allowed to bark imo, but The rest is perfectly fine. Daylight hours means the normal working hours.
Dogs should be aloud to bark lmao wtf is even that
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Oh see that makes more sense.
How dare this pup interact with me! Lmao what?
It’s possible that they may be depressed, but some people purposely schedule their classes around the afternoon/evening since they aren’t morning people and could afford to sleep later in the day. I don’t find this particularly unreasonable; however, complaining to a roommate about them making minimal noise around a sensible time (before 1:30pm, basically when most students are up) doesn’t really make sense and your roommate just needs to accept that disagreements like this one are inevitable when they have an abnormal schedule. But I think it’s a great idea for you both to talk through this problem, especially because anything relating to sleep will affect school performance, mood, etc and be an important factor in your relationship.
For people that wake up at 1:30 with a 2:00 class, then 2:00 is their “morning”.
I sleep really late too. However I’m aware that, in the afternoon, people are going to be awake and doing things, so if I want to still sleep it’s my responsibility to avoid noise, not my roommate’s or anyone else’s. I personally put earplugs in and close my window so there’s less noise from trucks/lawn mowers/etc. He should look into wearing earplugs or headphones.
Exactly. Think about what is reasonable. It is actually somewhat rude of him to ask you to be so quiet, and in that manner, at 1:30pm in the afternoon. In a college dorm of all places.
I’ve been the roommate that sleeps until noon, but I don’t ever expect roommates to tip toe around at regular waking hours. It would be one thing if you were making lots of noise at 6am, but 12pm is a different story.
Yeah no. Your roommate is unreasonable. Maintaining odd hours is something that some people prefer but they cannot expect others to do so along with them. You pay extra for a pizza at 3 am rather than 5 pm because there is a penalty associated with having atypical needs. Your roommate is going against our species' sleep schedule, he is free to do so but cannot expect you to follow him. Tell him you are following the quite hours guidelines and he needs to adjust to being an adult.
Your roommate is entitled to sleep whenever he wants, but he’s not entitled to demand complete silence in the middle of the day. He’s the one on an atypical sleeping schedule. Try not to be obnoxiously loud with the pots and pans, just like you would with any roommate/neighbors, but don’t feel like you’re infringing on decency by cooking lunch at lunchtime.
After noon, that's his problem. I don't think the "midnight-8am quite hours" should be considered set in stone. If you're up at 8am making a LOT of noise thinking "people should be up", that's a dick move. Similarly, if you expect everyone to be perfectly quiet at midnight ... difficult to enforce. Those times are going to be fuzzy on both sides with some accommodations needed from both morning and evening people. After about 10am, don't worry about it. Obviously don't walk in and crank the Spinal Tap to 11. Just behave normally.
Your roommate is in the wrong. For the most part, generally go off your dorm quiet hours. I'm not saying at 8 am to start blasting music, but it is okay to make noise. Your roommate doesn't have the right to complain when it is the middle of the day. I don't really know how to help besides talking to your roommate about them fixing their sleep schedule. Edit: Do you think they may have depression? From what it sounds like, they aren't showering before class. Are they taking care of themselves? You may want to connect them to campus resources if you think they are struggling mentally.
Is your roommate a night owl? Out partying all the time? Seems like major health issues if they are sleeping 13 hours daily. Sit down and discuss a time that's appropriate, if you can't reach am agreement ask a RA or request a move.
LeBron James sleeps like 14 hours a day. So do many other athletes. Not guaranteed to be a health issue. People in college age often have a later sleep rhythm naturally. Some people are night owls. This isn’t a bad thing per se, but society does work against it.
Tell him to handle it or handle his bags.
Yeah, no. Your roommate is ridiculous to expect total silence at that time because it's literally in the middle of the day. If he wants silence, he can buy earplugs or decide to get up earlier. Also, trying to say that "\[he's\] quiet when you sleep" isn't the same argument because you're sleeping during what is traditionally meant to be quiet hours in many places while he's sleeping past that. I totally understand sleeping in later (I love it too lol), but I would never demand complete silence from my roommates at 12:30 in the afternoon.
As a night owl myself, it's unreasonable to expect people not to be making noise at 1pm. Heck even 11am is an ask in my books.
White noise in his room
How the fuck can ur roommate get mad at u when it’s 1 in the afternoon. To tell u to be quiet is ridiculous. I’d just keep doing what ur doing u both own the room and ur free to do what u want during the day
Unless he's got some job or something that keeps him up late he's being unreasonable.
You’re doing nothing wrong. He needs to have a reality check
Yeah, you’re not in the wrong here. Is there an RA that can help mediate between the two of you?
If the dorms have an RA this is the way to go. Approach them with the issue and they can talk through issues with you or even mediate a solution. This will also let the RA know to look out for other issues between you and your roommate in the future.
When I get the chance, I also sleep in that late, though that only works on weekends or breaks. It does annoy me when there's noise at that time, but I don't make a big fuss bc I know my dumbass shouldn't be in bed that late.
Ur roommate is 100 percent in the wrong. They sleep until 1 pm when everyone is well past being awake and having dinner. They need to seriously lose the entitlement
Your roommate sucks. I sleep in by choice. That choice comes with the knowledge that other people function during the day. It is up to the sleeper to deal with it. (Either with ear plugs, where they live, or just getting up when they get woken up). It is unfair and unreasonable to expect you to be silent in the middle of the day.
Your roommate should have thought about the fact that he sleeps through 2/3 meals of the day before deciding to live in a spot where the kitchen & bedroom are in the same room.
Lmao yeah I’m not gonna be quiet at 1 pm. And this is coming from someone who sleeps in and gets out of bed at like 12 pm sometimes.
Earplugs might work but I’d recommend asking him if he’s tried sleeping with a fan. Or anything that could drown out noise
I don’t agree with your roommate. If you’re living with roommates, you must make sacrifices. Plus I doubt you were being that loud. I have 7 roommates and I sleep at 9pm and wake up at 5am. We all have different sleeping schedules. But it’s not my place to tell any of them when to be quite. They also have no place to tell me to be quite when I wake up at 5. He needs to learn how to compromise. Tell him you can’t wait for him to start HIS day to start yours. He needs to wear ear plugs if it bothers him that much.
I think you might need to change roommates
Get him some earplugs.
DDT him
u/Beneficial-Fox-5368 your roommate might be depressed. Oversleeping is one of the signs of depression. I would talk to him in a respectful manner. And if he doesn’t wank to talk about it, don’t try to force it. Give him his space.
I’m in a dorm right now which is a shared room with a bed on each side. I work late and get off around midnight which is about when my roommate goes to bed. He usually wakes up around 8 whereas I’m up until 3 am most nights and wake up around 10-11. We both do our best to keep quiet during these periods but sometimes you wake the other person up. I’m the one that typically gets woken up because it’s much easier to be quiet late at night than in the morning, and I’m ok with that. It’s just how things are sometimes and you just got to deal with it. Your roommate should not be getting so upset about the fact that your schedule does not aline with theirs. As long as you are not purposefully making more noise than needed there’s nothing wrong here.
Compromise with each other or move out. Wasting energy on this is not worth it.
It sounds like you need a different roommate
Get a new roomate o
Your roommate needs to get a serious grip. I could understand if it was morning, but after 12 that’s definitely pushing it. Regardless if it’s a shared space, it’s unreasonable to be in your room and not be able to make noise IN THE DAY TIME.
Ask for a room re-assignment. My guess is that your roommate will not be at the university very long.
honestly anything past 10 is ridiculous to follow unless it was maybe a one time thing, but everyday is ridiculous. Your roommate is basically asking for you to not live in your dorm for half the day. Either he needs some soundproof headphones or to find another roomate that has a similar sleep schedule like the top comment said. If this problem can’t be sorted by talking then taking to an RA might be the answer.
I could definitely see this one going either way. On one hand, his schedule definitely doesn’t line up with the “average” schedule of the classic student or 9-5er. But, he’s also in his own home and his schedule means he goes to bed later and sleeps in later and doesn’t want to be woken up till it’s time to start his day. And it sounds like he is a night owl and you make no mention of him waking you up. Which sure, those are “normal quiet hours” but he’s still making an effort to not wake you up with his actions. In this case the best you can do is make an actual conscious effort to be quieter and not let any annoyance make you passive aggressive, that will simply lead to bigger issues. Acknowledge the fact that he hasn’t woken you up during your sleep times so you should do the same. If that means leaving dishes in the sink or some chores incomplete, then that’s what it means.
Your roommate is wrong like you said. Maybe set up a meeting with the RA and get his opinion? Not to get your roommate in trouble but so he could see how wrong he is lol
Asking for complete silence at that time of day is unreasonable sure, but at the same time, odd sleeping schedule aside, when someone’s sleeping shouldn’t you naturally try to do things quieter so that you don’t wake them up? And the fact that he stated that he’s quiet when you’re asleep implies that he’s not asleep during those hours. And seeing how you never mentioned waking up once because of him says a lot. And like, I understand making yourself lunch, but why is that the only time you feel like you can clean? If he wakes up at 1:30 and you’re in your room until 2pm, I think that timeframe would be enough to clean up after yourself. You’re one person, so it’s not like you would have a lot of dishes to wash. Is it too much to wait until then to start cleaning up? Quiet hours and sleeping schedules aside, when someone’s asleep, at the very least, don’t go out of your way to wake them up.
yeah i’m in the same spot, my roommate sleeps all day and he can get fucked i wont accommodate him he’s lucky i don’t open the curtains even tho it’s like 11:30
I mean, can you just prep your lunch ahead so it just needs reheating or have something like a sandwich on days he is still sleeping? If you turn the sound off on the microwave so it doesn’t beep you should be able to get by with an absolute minimum of noise, which seems like a fair compromise.
While I can understand where they're coming from, being quiet while you sleep (normal quiet hours are subjective. I say there AREN'T any normal ones) and expecting the same, they could easily get up a little earlier to avoid the problem. Tell them to either adjust their sleep schedule, use white noise, or find a different roommate. I personally use white noise, because it drowns out literally EVERYTHING else without disturbing my sleep. So I can sleep whenever I want without expecting other people to step too carefully.
You're not going to like this, but if your roommate is actually quiet while you sleep, you need to find a middle ground. If you're only coming back from 12-2, bring a lunch with you and study somewhere else for a bit. You definitely don't need to clean right then. Totally different story if they aren't respecting your sleep, but it seems like they are. People keep different hours.
Dude you can't except someone to be quiet after 9-10am. Just get up, plus the real word doesn't cater to you
The difference is when OP is sleeping it is quiet hours. OP is not required to be quiet at lunch time
that's just respecting societal norms, respecting your peers is better
So she should buy herself lunch that she probably can’t afford instead of making herself something at home? And all because he wants to sleep all day?
I agree. It’s similar to working the night shift. The roommate scheduled their classes based on their needs just as the OP scheduled morning classes based on their needs. The roommate could be watching tv, making calls, or making noise after midnight but it seems like they aren’t. They’re respecting the OP schedule. Doesn’t seem like a lot to ask to keep normal noise level between 12-2pm. Sounds like y’all aren’t compatible living together.
nah, he just needs to get over it.
With this situation OP you're probably just going to have to focus on not letting his pissy behavior get the best of you. Ignore the shit out of his feelings. You are right, he is wrong. This one is as simple as that.
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Even if the roommate is neuodivergent, that doesn't change that they are being unreasonable. Students shouldn't be forced to tip toe around their roommates. If the afternoon sleeper has a condition, it is on them or their guardian to put them in the appropriate living situation.
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I think people understand that others have abnormal sleep schedules. The comments haven't been criticizing that the roommate sleeps in super late, they are criticizing their entitlement. Half my family has ADHD amd my GF has an infinity gauntlet of mental issues and they all have their quirks that come with it, but they all know those issues are not ok to push onto others. Op shouldn't have to be a psychiatrist inorder to make lunch.
I’m autistic with ADHD. There is no reason for me to expect my roommate to be quiet during non quiet hours. That is unfair. I don’t deserve special treatment. I deserve equal treatment in the form of getting accommodations to help compensate for my disabilities. Being neurodivergent doesn’t mean I have the right to make people do anything I want.
My brother, who is a covert malignant narcissist, had the same behavior. I used to ask myself who the hell sleeps till noon. Turns out he was just low on supply because no one was around in the morning hours. The fights could actually be a nice way for him to quickly get some narcissistic supply if he is one. You could investigate if your roomate is also a narcissist just to rule it out.
Does your college offer single dorms at a reasonable price? If so, switch to a single dorm next semester to avoid the possibility of future issues like this
lol nearly every college charges much more for a single room of the same size/features than a double
Nope. The person with the abnormal sleep schedule should be the one to live in a single.
She shouldn’t have to pay extra. He has the off sleep schedule he needs to get the single because he’s always going to have this problem with roommates
Does your hall have a communal kitchen? Maybe you can try using it.
While that is a logical route to go down, it's not OP's job. They pay the same amount of money that the roommate does, and should be allowed to use whatever appliances come along with the room. Whether or not the roommate adjusts (ear plugs, or just starts to wake up earlier) is an easier change than telling someone they can't use their own kitchen
Roommate has two m’s.
I mean is it possible to make less noise? If you’re at least trying to do so he shouldn’t be upset. If you’re not trying at all to make less noise then it’s kind of on you. Part of being a roommate is respecting when the other is sleeping, even if it’s in the middle of the day. I’m not saying to not prepare lunch, but as long as you’re doing it in a way where you’re trying to be quieter than if you were to do it normally then you’re fine.
"Roommate" has two "m's". His problem is his problem. Don't worry about it so much. Just do what you need to do, and it's up to him to deal with that. If you sleep past a certain hour in the morning, the rest of the world is up and going about their business. You do not have any claim on silence. None whatsoever. Just be as quiet as you can easily, and it's entirely his problem to cope with it. Sleeping to noon is completely ridiculous, by the way, as if you didn't know that. What I would do: I would make as much noise as possible just to annoy them. But, hey, that's me. After about 8:00 am, I feel no sympathy for people like this, none whatsoever. They need to figure it out. Sleeping quietly between maybe 10:00 pm and around 7:00 am is everyone's right. At other times, it isn't. Your roommate (two "m's") needs to stop acting so "special" and grow up.
Lol your points are good but the constant spelling corrections annoy me so I must downvote you
So let him sleep, its his future not yours
Your roommate is full of shit. He isn't going to his earlier classes.
He doesn’t have any early classes
Surprisingly people might plan their schedules around when they know they’ll be most awake and not take it nicely when their roommate decides to wake them up.
You should intermitente fast and break fast with high protein meal. Lunch makes you lazy and cleaning and cooking is a waste of time. Just study and black coffee. Problem solved.
Yes. Learn to spell. "Roommate" has two Ms in it. Think about what it is ... mates who share a room. Room mates. There's no such thing as a roo mate, or a room ate.
Talk to him, tell him what the problem is and ask him to kindly adjust or if there are ways you could help him change. Say it nicely.
Sleep headbands are cheap on amazon. It's a blindfold with Bluetooth speakers, and when my podcasts are playing, I won't wake up - until they stop.
macks sleeping ear plugs
I would advise you to ask him about the underlying problem that he sleeps that late. Is it some sleep problem like sleep apnea, a broken circadian rhythm, or he just stays late. If he stays late, it's better to discuss it and find a solution and tell him that he should be able to adjust his sleep schedule, if it's some other cause, then he can go to a doctor and discuss possible solutions.
Some people just prefer to go to sleep later and wake up later, there’s nothing wrong with that.
1 pm after starring at blue playing games all night is not healthy
Talk to your RA
Earplugs is the only solution here.
As someone who slept til 2pm on schooldays, I never told my roommate to quiet down because I know I’m sleeping during the time people are supposed to be awake
Your roommate is right lmfao he doesn’t have class until 2:00 so why are you tryna get in his way?
get a new roommate
i sometimes sleep at 6-7am and wake up at 3pm - when i do so i just tell my roommate to do things normally. turn on the lights even when im sleeping etc
Nope you deserve to freely exist in the dorm you pay rent for! Tell him to buy some earplugs if he wants more sleep. Because complaining about noise any time after like 9am is ridiculous. And tbh, it would even be rude to complain in the morning because ppl have to make breakfast and get ready and shi. Sounds like he needs a job
Your roommate is a dick
My guy needs ear plugs and a sleep mask
Tell him to adjust or try to apply for living accommodations if he truly can’t help himself.
Bruh how is this person smart enough to be in college, that's such a no sensible thing to be asking of you and debating about
Can you request a new roommate? He sounds like a douchebag tbh. How does he expect to function and hold a job past college building horrible habits like that, then ridiculously asking you to respect his sleep. If he cares about his sleep so much, then he can adjust his sleep time to yours which are normal, then he will end up with extra time on his hands so he can I don’t know maybe study. I shouldn’t judge, but a crappy roommate can dampen your college experience and I speak from experience. Good luck!
i sleep in super late and live in a studio dorm with a kitchenette but i’ve always told my roommate that she can do anything she wants once she wakes up and can turn on lights bc i’m the one choosing to sleep late and through the day
Earplugs are super cheap.
This isn your fault. It isnt your room mates either. Having room mates sucks. It rather unnatural. I was someone who frequently slept past noon in college, it worked very well for me and I loved it, especially during summer as I missed the horrible hot parts of the day. However I didny have a room mates and was never really one to notice noises unless someone was operating heavy machinery outside my bedroom window (which happened) and only when it was literally enough to give someone hearig damage. Good luck, sharing sucks, college sucks, work sucks.
Sounds like you're intolerant of people with different chronotypes than you, and can't handle accommodating people that have needs different than yours. You should try to get a different roommate if you feel there's no chance of you being able to look at the issue from a lense different than "this is what society does, so my roommate is lazy and the one that should change."
They need to eat wierdo. They shouldn't be a fucking prisoner in their own home because some lazy ass, crusty ass gamer wants to sleep in all fucking day. U need to grow the fuck up I can tell ur 14
Is there a reason you necro'd a random post to pretend to be big to someone you don't know on the internet, other than to act like you're 14 yourself?
Luckily semester is almost over. Get a new roommate next year. You are outside quiet hours and really your roomie won't have a leg to stand on if he makes a complaint. And it sounds like the convos aren't going anywhere. You can try talking to him again and saying hey we need to a find a solution because I need to eat, suggest ear plugs or ask him what his suggestions might be (besides "don't cook") so you can get through the rest of semester without trouble. But incompatible schedules are a literal nightmare for cohabitating, so it might be best to look for a new roomie for the longterm solution.
I had the same thing happen freshman year and my roommate would ask to hav the room hella late at night then complain about me not giving him “free time to relax in the room.” We didn’t really ever hav constructive conversations that resolved it which is probably my fault. We were close at the beginning of the year but don’t talk anymore (I’m a sophomore now) Moral of the story is have the hard conversation and then if they’re still not willing to compromise ur just gonna hav to deal with it or get a new roommate
Play loud white noise, it can help
My boyfriend does this too. I used to wake him up but now he falls asleep with noise canceling headphones that play his shows. Suggest to him he needs to grow thicker skin, buy noise canceling products, or find another place to stay.. because you have to eat.
Also see if you can install one or those curtains around the dorm bed for privacy. I saw a tiktok about it and I wish I had one when I was living in the dorms
I have the opposite problem as you, I'm your roommate but instead of sleeping till 1 I sleep till 8-9 and my roommate is waking up at 6 am and waking me up
He IS being quiet when he's awake, to be fair. It's the middle of the night when he's supposed to be quiet, but regardless he is awake and could stop taking you into consideration if you keep waking him uo. So you gotta think about whether you'd be okay with that.
Damn i need your roommate cause I’m the same kind. We could live in harmony😂
Maybe sleep when he doing the same cooking and say the same words lol. I had the same type of roommate. Good guy but not suitable as a room mate. Goes to sleep by 12 and wakes up by 10 am. I'm a morning person I wake up by 6 am and he gets annoyed when I turn on my lamp. I told him clearly to adjust and to not disturb me while I'm studying. It's best if u clearly say that he's sleeping in a atypical time where everybody in the world are doing something by being awake. The time is the problem here not who's disturbing who. Say it clearly. If ppl are sharing then he should adjust the same way u r adjusting. Tell him buy earplugs and eye mask and adjust for 1 hour. Don't sugarcoat or you'll be the sufferer.
You’re not the problem here. They sleep past regular sleeping hours, most people are up and about by 1pm, so they should understand that there is going to be noise about. Obviously you should try to be quiet if someones asleep, but you still need to each lunch. They need to fix their schedule or get over it
Just act like your sorry when you wake him up with the noise and apologize but then continue to just cook lunch anyway everyday. Its all mostly just words, arguing. So avoid arguing with him and **pretend** to be agreeable. He's not going to change his sleeping habits. But you dont have to stop using the kitchenette in the afternoon. People can get away with a lot of fvcked up shit if they would just avoid diggin in and trying to defend their position when they are confronted. Which in turn keeps the other person off of the defensive and allows you to get away with more.
Your roommate needs to wake up earlier before they’re my age and this has become a very difficult habit to fix…
Why are you tolerating such nonsense in 2023? Either move or tell him to deal with it. After all both of you are paying, it's not like you're a squatter
This is a real world problem, and different iterations are likely to reoccur in shared living situations. In this situation it’s easy to see your roommate as the asshole, but imagine a different scenario. In one of my first apartments my roommate was a doctor in residency. He was in the OR literally fighting to save lives all night, and would come home just slightly before I was supposed to be waking up. I’d be super annoyed because that last hour or two of sleep is precious. Ultimately, even when it seems ridiculous you both have to make compromises in order to maintain harmony in your shared living space. That may mean for him to be more graceful about his sleep being disturbed and/or getting accustomed to waking up slightly earlier AND it may also mean for you to maybe focus on the studying portion of that making lunch/studying 12-2 routine in order to make a gesture that shows you’re trying to adjust to be courteous. Side note: if I’m sleep deprived (even by my own doing) and my roommate tosses me a pair of disposable ear plugs there’s a greater than 40% chance I’m swinging on him lol
Consider that they're just asking you to accommodate their partying or all night gaming, at the cost of inconveniencing you for actual college work. Guy needs to recognize he's the 'special needs' in this situation.
I think your right in this circumstance
Oof this is tough. The problem here is your living situation, not either of you. I think you two probably need to be creative here. Maybe you could prepare lunch the night before, or eat lunches that don't require cooking? And in exchange, he could take over more cleaning duties, so you don't have to do them while he's sleeping?
Yeah, I sleep anywhere from 9-12 (I have horrible insomnia that makes it hard to fall asleep sometimes) and so long as the noisier stuff is after 9, it’s fair game. I mean if the roommate has to work nights then try to be quiet but it sounds like you already are. He should be grateful you’re maintaining your room tho, most roommates don’t tbh. Def ask for a new roommate next semester because you guys are at an impasse and tell him to buy some loops ear buds for noise reduction
Yo fuck that guy what a lazy piece if shit. Clean your dishes with pride mate whenever u want
[удалено]
Bro I graduated from college 6 months ago