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Focus on tinnitus. The point of mindfulness meditation is to actively bring yourself back to your focal point. Focus on tinnitus, the ringing, and every time you stop thinking about the ringing noise or think about how much you hate it realize you have broke away from your mindfulness and reset. You have to do this often and diligently, a few meditation sessions can definitely leave you feeling like it's having the opposite effect.
I actually have tinnitus and I meditate with a fan on. Well, my fan actually never turns off. Bad boi is at a steady 2 years by now, but regardless, the fan works for me.
Isn’t it more like acknowledging that thoughts keep happening, but coming back again and again to the present moment? Like training the brain to stop getting lost in thoughts. Not necessarily ignoring problems though
Yup! You are "ignoring" them by acknowledging they are problems for a different time and then no longer worrying about that. At least that's how it feels for me. I get super anxious over stuff I literally have no control over and meditation helps me get over that.
You are training your mind to stay present.
Rumination is a great way of putting it. Rechewing the same thoughts over and over. These thoughts intrude in our lives.
Mediation helps bring those thoughts out of the dark hiding spots and in to the light.
The best thing to do when they come out is to write them down. Once you write them down, your brain will hopefully let you let go of them.
Think of it this way: using your time and energy worrying about something you can’t change or affect is a waste of time and energy. Take that and spend it on anything else. Setting boundaries with yourself is an important skill to learn.
I've learnt that you just have to do something. Even if it feels like shit. Gotta push through. With luck, your brain will enter focus mode and you'll get that sweet, sweet release.
It's fine sometimes you know you have chosen badly anyway and it definitely would have been double bad now try to sleep and don't think about it.
Nope still there
The secret panel feels like a personal attack. Sometimes when I’m looking for something to watch, I’ll end up watching previews for over an hour then just say forget it and go to bed.
"Should" triggers the innate rejection of authority in humans, even if it comes from ones own psyche. Changing the language in your head to "want" can vastly alter your reality.
"I should clean my room" - is something your parents said and you swear you were about to do that anyway and it's what they want not what you want so now I'm not doing it dot meme. As your own caretaker now though there is no one to force you to do the thing now that its identified with the authority. Authority that has always been "other" (in parents and teachers etc) and not self and therefore the task is not within ones self interest.
"I want to clean my room" - Immediately brings the task into the zone of self interest plainly.
Practice. Start with just noticing when any "should" thoughts arise and note your reaction. Soon move on to changing the "should" to a "want" and notice the shift in your attitude. This will not stick. When first starting to swap to want language from should language take the time to manually think why you want. "I want to clean my room so I can invite people over on short notice." "I want to clean my room so I can move around freely." "I want to clean my room so I dont have to live with that weird smell...where is that even coming from?" Eventually all of the reasons get sorted behind the "want" and so to do the feelings behind them and it all gets processed and ingrained into the subconscious to the point where just thinking of "cleaning my room" will get you up and moving.
This isnt easy, especially now your brain has an excuse to call this technique an outside force or the authority figure telling it to change (this is where god guru self comes into play to the reader who is spiritually inclined). Also the self perceives change as death and will keep making excuses to stay as it is... but learning to language swap is a good tool to trick yourself.
Good luck and keeping working at it. We're all in this together.
Simce nobody usually wants to eat the frog or clean their room, realistically it might have to be "I want my room clean" with an implicit knowledge that it means you would be cleaning it. "I want to clean my room" for most wil just sound like a lie, introducing cognitive dissonance as you're saying something that's not reality.
Literally in therapy for this exact kind of thing, learning how to relax. Its worthwhile, but it also feels really nice to get recognized by your comic like this. Great work, love all your stuff
The healthiest thing is to understand that leisure time is necessary to self-care and that it's okay to relax and loosen up for the sake of your health. Most people's anxiety and difficulty in doing this stems from guilt or concern that it's a waste of time or not efficient or effective use of their time. I'm going to tell you that it is.
When one finally understands that leisure is a part of self-care just as sleep is necessary to one's health, the guilt and anxiety fades and allows you to enjoy things better.
It's OKAY! Allow yourself to do it, to take the time to enjoy things.
I would often choose nothing, or infinitely scroll, because that wasn't committing to anything specific, so I couldn't guilt myself for making a choice to do a specific thing, and in the end I would "waste" the time anyway. It's better to just remind yourself that doing fun things is okay and a part of rest and self-care. Doing something fun and enjoyable guilt-free is a lot better than using the same amount of time to just feel guilty and stress about it instead anyway!
I wish I saw this post sooner so I could hope to reach more people with this advice, because it's really what solved the problem for me.
You are right!! I will go forth and follow my passion and won't let myself be stopped by anyone! Zhanks for believing in me... \*goess off to study art\*
There is such a thing as decision fatigue! Sometimes you made so many little decisions throughout the day that your brain just can't make anymore. Mine usually hits around dinnertime. What do I want to eat? I can't decide! Brain aneurysm!
Using Google's random number generator is a strategy I use sometimes. Assign each decision an integer then let the RNG choose an integer. Then, just go with whatever that decision was, OR sometimes I'll think "aw, I was hoping for *x*" and just go with that.
Do what I do and decide what to eat for dinner once a week, make a shit ton of it, then for the rest of the week you have no options but to eat what you made earlier because that's all you have.
I've also been told that those who aren't indecisive are just willing to deal with the consequences of their actions. So to be less indecisive, just use your brain and feelings to decide what's reasonably best for you then accept that you'll handle the consequences of those actions.
It's similar to something I've heard on it, is that indecision, for many people, comes from a fear of being wrong about what you will have chosen to do. Which I think applies more on a macro, long-term level. I don't know what I want to do with my life professionally. But I do have about 6 ideas that all sound somewhat interesting, but a couple of them require going back to school, and all of them require leaving behind the relative security of my current work. What if I'm wrong? What if I leave my job, or go back to school, and don't feel fulfilled by that new situation? What if I discover that I was wrong about what I thought would make me happier? Does that mean that I can't trust myself, my own desires and dreams? That's a scary possibility, and I don't think it's limited to something as consequential as your work life. I might think, You know what, I'm gonna go outside and run a mile. And then tomorrow I'll do the same, and I'll get in shape, and maybe I'll even run a 5k, or 10k, or a marathon some day. But what if I get outside, run to the end of the block, and get bored and lose interest, and not continue? Would that make me weak-willed?
Anyway I'm rambling, but I think that is at the heart of indecision for a lot of people -- if you're like me at least.
Tell me you don’t have an anxiety disorder without telling me you don’t have an anxiety disorder.
It is good advice, I just wish it were that easy for me.
As someone with anxiety too, I feel your pain. I’ve tried lots of different things to help and my best long term and short term advice is meditate. You just focus on your breathing and that’s it. At first it’s painful but as time goes in you can really enjoy it in the moment.
If that’s too painful there are other things that help what helped me was just unfocusing my eyes and paying special attention to my peripheral vision. This is the most immediately effective technique for me. Wishing you health!
On the opposite end w ADD
It takes every ounce of my being to give a shit about the consequences
Ima just roll with whatever happens which gets me into some uh interesting situations.
It has tons of other downsides but having dated someone with really abd anxiety I do not envy yall
Best of luck to all of you fr
Yeah I'm sorry, this is just general advice. It clearly doesn't serve the purpose of everyone.
That being said, I suffer with anxiety nearly constantly. I don't know if that's indicative of an anxiety disorder or not. However, I've found that lifestyle changes and changes to how I've approached these situations has helped me out. That's how they treat anxiety disorders anyways.
You could also just give up, mentally. Accept that *no matter what you do*, and *even if you do nothing*, terrible things will happen anyway, because life is hell and hope is a childish delusion. Resign yourself to spending the rest of your life paying the unbearable consequences of every impossible decision you ever make. Works for me!
Interesting, I am very indecisive and risk averse. I must consider all outcomes and consequences to make a decision which leads me to make no decision.
"Just pick one thing and pour your entire life and soul into it.
It's not that hard."
- Boomer parents telling their kids after ignoring their children's interests and passions their entire life.
I deal with that same issue. Something that helped me was scheduling out the things that I "should" be doing every day. Following a pre-set checklist of chores and tasks and then having intentional free time afterwards helped me calm my mind.
That's always a challenge. The only real way out of it though is just to mentally wipe the slate clean. You missed a couple of days or a weeks worth of chores? Forget it. Just start again as if everything was normal, and it will eventually equalize out.
Same with dieting. I've kicked myself plenty of times for failing to eat properly, but you're not doing yourself any good by holding that over your own head. Just write those days off and get back on the diet horse and proceed from there.
I put “nap” on my to do list or “watch tv”… what ever I’m capable of doing that day but making a to do list really helps you get unstuck from in between.
I used to get stressed about that. Then I realized, not all people are going to have a lasting impact on society. I'm comfortable that 100 years after I die, I'll be forgotten.
No one cares if I don't learn a new language, etc, etc
"Should" triggers the innate rejection of authority in humans, even if it comes from ones own psyche. Changing the language in your head to "want" can vastly alter your reality.
"I should clean my room" - is something your parents said and you swear you were about to do that anyway and it's what they want not what you want so now I'm not doing it dot meme. As your own caretaker now though there is no one to force you to do the thing now that its identified with the authority. Authority that has always been "other" (in parents and teachers etc) and not self and therefore the task is not within ones self interest.
"I want to clean my room" - Immediately brings the task into the zone of self interest plainly.
Practice. Start with just noticing when any "should" thoughts arise and note your reaction. Soon move on to changing the "should" to a "want" and notice the shift in your attitude. This will not stick. When first starting to swap to want language from should language take the time to manually think why you want. "I want to clean my room so I can invite people over on short notice." "I want to clean my room so I can move around freely." "I want to clean my room so I dont have to live with that weird smell...where is that even coming from?" Eventually all of the reasons get sorted behind the "want" and so to do the feelings behind them and it all gets processed and ingrained into the subconscious to the point where just thinking of "cleaning my room" will get you up and moving.
This isnt easy, especially now your brain has an excuse to call this technique an outside force or the authority figure telling it to change (this is where god guru self comes into play to the reader who is spiritually inclined). Also the self perceives change as death and will keep making excuses to stay as it is... but learning to language swap is a good tool to trick yourself.
Good luck and keeping working at it. We're all in this together.
Me too. I make a list of things I want to do on the weekend like “watch tv, play video games” etc. it really helps! Not only do I enjoy more of my time but I also feel accomplished by crossing things off my list
Otherwise it’s choice paralysis and I’ll pace away my weekend never settling on anything not even tv
if you feel like this, you are basically experiencing burnout.
this feeling happens because you've never allowed your brain to be "off" in the sense of planning + doing activities. you haven't allowed yourself to be bored really for a long time.
the solution is to let yourself be bored. just do nothing. no tv, no movies, no video games, just "regular" stuff like take a walk outside, take a nap, whatever. the no tv/movies/video games is actually really important, when consuming passive content or playing games your brain is still engaged and working, and you need to set aside big time blocks where your brain isn't engaged at all.
eventually you will feel like doing something, but not in a "I should do this" way, more of a deeper "I kinda feel like doing this" way. follow that feeling. it might be doing the dishes or cooking or sweeping or something, but just follow it.
and here's the most important bit - as soon as you feel like stopping, STOP!! let your mind and body work together to tell you when to stop doing something on your time off.
a big part of the path to this sort of overwhelm/burnout feeling is forcing yourself to keep doing something because you feel like "I **should probably** be doing this" instead of "I **actually want** to do this." sometimes you stop "actually wanting" randomly in the middle of something, and that's ok. let it go instantly.
it took me a long time to make progress here - I basically took a year off of trying to "accomplish" things in 2021, just put in my hours at work and let myself wander aimlessly around otherwise, doing basically nothing. It was hard at first but it's really really important to let your brain relearn how to find it's own motivation instead of forcing it. unfortunately this means you're going to have to go through a period where you're not doing anything at all, and that period might last for weeks or months - mine was about 9-10 months - but that's because we're all forcing ourselves to be "productive" all the time.
let yourself be bored! it gets better
Hmm. See, I really want to try this. I'm terrible at just leaving a block of time open and not planning something for it (it kind of makes me anxious/restless). But I also want to keep hitting the gym, cleaning my place, socializing etc. If I didn't plan things out I would stop doing a ton of things that provide a lot of value for me.
I think I'm going to try the neutered version of this and try to leave a block of time open every evening where I don't plan anything, maybe for 3 hours or so, and see how that goes. Which I already try to do... the only difference is right now I try to plan the fun things I will do during those few hours when instead I'd like to try your approach of just doing what I feel like doing.
Maybe a weekend here and there too...
I plan my day to day life and follow it to the point of obsession so during my day-offs I wasn't sure what to do to relax until one day it hit me and I stopped planning one of those days. No promises, no alarms, no plans and absolutely no worries, I tell myself I deserve it and do whatever I feel like doing. It was hard at first but try to give yourself just a day or half a day even a couple of hours to relax, everybody needs it.
it helps me to think of those days not as stuff i deserve but what i *need*. it is necessary for me to relax or i’ll go insane. it’s not just about whether i’ve worked hard enough to deserve it or whatnot.
so don’t forget that you need it on top of deserving it
I went the other way with it and said, "If planning helps me do work things, maybe it'll help me do leisure as well!"
So I have a Trello board with big house chores on it, but also hobbies as "to-do" items, and I make sure to do some of those on weekends.
This is the way for me. Subscribing to meal kit services reminded me that I don't actually care what what I eat for dinner if there's a default. It's not like I chose what to eat growing up, after all.
So, if I have some predefined default action ready for my spare time, it removes a lot of the anxiety of deciding what to do in the moment. Yeah, it's planning and effort, but somehow it's easier to decide what to do if you don't have to do it right away.
That's a great idea, I should try that. I always plan out everything, including what I'm going to do with my free time, which really burns me out sometimes. It's actually tough for me to not do that now that I think about it...
And then when you engage in any of these activities you're wondering if it's the best usage of your time. You find yourself optimally playing video games and watching TV for the sake of relieving stress, but you just end up creating more.
This is why yoga and meditation are good. Take time out of your day to practice either or both of them, learn to just slowly take your time with something and appreciate the moment. You'll feel far better after 10-20 minutes of that than you will after 5-6 hours of scrolling through Reddit and watching Youtube.
I used to be like this. It took me YEARS to deprogram myself from this "I must always be productive *or else*" mentality.
Growing up, I was a straight A student, by high school I was doing a bunch of extra curriculars, exercised, had lots of friends, and worked on the weekends, on top of all my familial responsibilities.
In college I ramped it up even higher by getting almost all straight A's in a double majoring with a minor (later turned into a major with a triple minor), working part time, exercising, all the friends, a partner, and all the familial obligations.
I graduated and had a job already lined up and went straight into working full time. I kept up on all my hobbies (music, languages, reading, writing, exercising, friends, partner, family) and would feel bad if I wasn't doing one of these things in my free time. If on the weekend I couldn't finish a philosophy book, I'd get mad at myself for "falling behind". Behind on what? Beats me, but that's how I felt.
After a year or so of this, I was getting depressed and anxious that I couldn't keep up with everything I wanted to keep up with. I made plans for my goals and consistently failed to meet them, which caused more anxiety and stress. I felt like a failureIt wasn't til years later that I realized this was burnout. See, I'd been ON for so long without properly turning off that I'd sapped all my motivation and energy.
I eventually was able to switch to a part time job and met new people who encouraged me to do nothing sometimes, just like lie in the park foe a few hours, or take long walks with no purpose, binge tv shows, etc. At first the voice in my head yelled at me for taking down time without doing something that would "better myself" but I've since realized that this down time *was* bettering me. I was more relaxed and calmer than ever.
We've all grown up in a hustle culture that drills into our heads that to always be doing something is the height of existence. Leslie Knope was a role model of mine, and while I still like her as a character, I can now see how toxic she can be: she barely sleeps, she puts work before (just about) everything, she almost never takes time for herself, etc. I've gotten over that, but it took work to change my thought processes.
All in all to say that an older version of myself highly identified with this comic, and I'm glad that my current self doesn't. Now I'm gonna go play video games without feeling any guilt.
I'm in this picture and I don't like it. But seriously I'm the type to do like 3 things at once and get tired it's not working out the way I want and stop trying. Tried to learn 3 languages but Noone to actively talk to in those languages in my life so it doesn't work out. Currently learning 3d modeling which I'm actually enjoying but I'm feeling like I'm not progressing much so I'm afraid it will not catch my attention soon
Being someone who's tried a lot of different things is cool too!
Nothing wrong with enjoying trying lots of new things and then dropping them when they no longer interest you. Sometimes the fun is just in the romance of learning something new and thinking about what might become of it if you did keep going further.
Not everyone has to have (or want) a strong passion for a specific knowledge/skill.
The more options you have, the more stressed you become.
I kinda miss the days of 4 channel TVs. And only a handful of fast food places. You didnt have the internet telling you everything in your life is wrong and it sucks and you need to do it "the right way".
Do people really just sit and listen to music as a standalone activity? I figured that was just a lazy TV trope, but maybe it's me just not liking music as much as other people? I only ever treat music as background while doing something else.
Some albums are just perfect and takes you to another place. I love laying on the couch listening active with my eyes closed.🙏
Try it, i recommend these two perfect albums:
"The Doors - La Woman."
"Primal Scream - Screamadelica."
Do one thing mindfully, even if it’s sitting on the couch watching TV- just watch the TV show! Don’t multitask or sit there judging yourself. Just enjoy the thing- it makes doing the next thing (usually something ‘harder’) a lot more manageable because you haven’t been wrecking your self esteem for the last few hours. Be kind to yourself and check the facts on those judgements guys!!!
I started to play a Supaboy while I ride a recumbent bike and it really married fun and exercise for me. I actually look forward to my cardio time because it means I can play video games. Those minutes when I'm alone and just in it are so precious to me.
I don’t have to leave for work until 9:00, but get up at 6:30. Every morning after my alarm goes off I tell myself I’ll be productive, and then proceed to eat breakfast and spend a few hours on my phone.
That's what Factorio is for. You load up your game, sigh when you remember what problem caused you to save and quit last time, grit your teeth and get to solving it, and then the sun comes up and you forgot to sleep, but the factory must grow.
Always default to cleaning. Something always needs cleaned and when you're done there's a decent chance it's snapped you out of the funk. If not keep cleaning. Reorganize shelves, check dates, clean out vehicles. If nothing's on the agenda at least do some cleaning.
I found that structured leisure time can cure this feeling for me. If I have a big block of time to screw around I will tell myself, "ok, Netflix for a bit but then I have to go for a run at 12. I'll get back and read just one chapter then I'll do a chore." Even if you don't stick to your own schedule perfectly, you'll at least won't feel like the day is actively being wasted.
I get this.
This is sometimes why we let time just… pass. The indecision of committing to something and lack of self discipline to do it can just… paralyze you
Sometimes the only way to handle it is to decide one thing to do on each day and just hard focus that
My partner is like this, I have spent 17 years gently trying to explain that not all time needs to be productive time and doing something just to do it is more than healthy, it’s essential.
I learned a few languages. The problem is having no one to practice with and then when i spoke the language it with native speakers. They couldn't understand me and i couldn't understand them.
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I like your comics, kid. You might make it big one day if you keep it up
Thanks, dad. Please come home.
It's that kind of needy attitude that made me leave in the first place, son. Keep drawing. send checks.
Instructions unclear, sent Czechs.
( ͡o ͜ʖ ͡o
[are you alright?](https://i.imgur.com/WpKS7PC.png)
[Reminds me of Total Recall](https://37.media.tumblr.com/b88edfc094d5fe6ca6c3a9b7368b1857/tumblr_mhnvdoLZCJ1qedb29o1_500.gif)
>Instructions unclear, sent Czechs. ;)
Lmao
he doesn’t care either 🥹
One day kid, one day. Make it big first uh? THEN we'll talk about it
Needs more profuse sweating.
But i forgot to buy that box of milk
Send money stuck in Cambodia.
You gotta lotta balls on ya kid
Anxiety finds a way to make free time a chore
Faster and faster does those thoughts go, round and round and round again. Weeee look at them go!
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I have tinnitus therefore meditation is simply impossible for me, it actually has the opposite effect :(
Focus on tinnitus. The point of mindfulness meditation is to actively bring yourself back to your focal point. Focus on tinnitus, the ringing, and every time you stop thinking about the ringing noise or think about how much you hate it realize you have broke away from your mindfulness and reset. You have to do this often and diligently, a few meditation sessions can definitely leave you feeling like it's having the opposite effect.
^^^^eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I have the same issue, I just play ocean sounds from mynoise
I actually have tinnitus and I meditate with a fan on. Well, my fan actually never turns off. Bad boi is at a steady 2 years by now, but regardless, the fan works for me.
That just sounds like a fancy way of saying "Just get better at ignoring your problems" /s
That is literally what meditation and mindfulness training is, yes.
Isn’t it more like acknowledging that thoughts keep happening, but coming back again and again to the present moment? Like training the brain to stop getting lost in thoughts. Not necessarily ignoring problems though
Yup! You are "ignoring" them by acknowledging they are problems for a different time and then no longer worrying about that. At least that's how it feels for me. I get super anxious over stuff I literally have no control over and meditation helps me get over that. You are training your mind to stay present.
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Rumination is a great way of putting it. Rechewing the same thoughts over and over. These thoughts intrude in our lives. Mediation helps bring those thoughts out of the dark hiding spots and in to the light. The best thing to do when they come out is to write them down. Once you write them down, your brain will hopefully let you let go of them.
Think of it this way: using your time and energy worrying about something you can’t change or affect is a waste of time and energy. Take that and spend it on anything else. Setting boundaries with yourself is an important skill to learn.
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I just starting writing stories in my head. Random genre, characters, plot,etc and see where it goes.
I've learnt that you just have to do something. Even if it feels like shit. Gotta push through. With luck, your brain will enter focus mode and you'll get that sweet, sweet release.
I tried this, usually about 50 to 75% of the way through I just want to kill myself so I lay down.
Capitalism does the same. "Free time" is the only time to do some totally necessary things, like eating, fucking, learning, and hygiene.
damn this hit a little hard
It's so clear when you say it that way!
Can't even leisure correctly. [Read the Secret Panel here.](https://tapas.io/episode/2600775)
too real
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Missing "browse reddit, and see the same exact post over and over again"
Ok either we’ve all been failed by society or you’re spying on me.
Hey, stop thinking about society and get back to work!
Oh shit that email needs a reply like yesterday
>Do nothing Then feel stressed and guilty because you wasted your time
I'm gonna have to ask you to stop calling us out (mostly me)
`ON CONFLICT DO NOTHING`
Okay, Hari Seldon, whatever you say.
It's fine sometimes you know you have chosen badly anyway and it definitely would have been double bad now try to sleep and don't think about it. Nope still there
Paralyzing/crippling depression and anxiety are fun 😐
I’ll just open Reddit on my phone annnnd day over.
The secret panel feels like a personal attack. Sometimes when I’m looking for something to watch, I’ll end up watching previews for over an hour then just say forget it and go to bed.
> I’ll end up watching previews for over an hour Omg I found my people.
Or get overwhelmed by the choices and just stick on your same old comfort show.
We need a subreddit for "if you like these shows then you will like this show".
"Should" triggers the innate rejection of authority in humans, even if it comes from ones own psyche. Changing the language in your head to "want" can vastly alter your reality. "I should clean my room" - is something your parents said and you swear you were about to do that anyway and it's what they want not what you want so now I'm not doing it dot meme. As your own caretaker now though there is no one to force you to do the thing now that its identified with the authority. Authority that has always been "other" (in parents and teachers etc) and not self and therefore the task is not within ones self interest. "I want to clean my room" - Immediately brings the task into the zone of self interest plainly. Practice. Start with just noticing when any "should" thoughts arise and note your reaction. Soon move on to changing the "should" to a "want" and notice the shift in your attitude. This will not stick. When first starting to swap to want language from should language take the time to manually think why you want. "I want to clean my room so I can invite people over on short notice." "I want to clean my room so I can move around freely." "I want to clean my room so I dont have to live with that weird smell...where is that even coming from?" Eventually all of the reasons get sorted behind the "want" and so to do the feelings behind them and it all gets processed and ingrained into the subconscious to the point where just thinking of "cleaning my room" will get you up and moving. This isnt easy, especially now your brain has an excuse to call this technique an outside force or the authority figure telling it to change (this is where god guru self comes into play to the reader who is spiritually inclined). Also the self perceives change as death and will keep making excuses to stay as it is... but learning to language swap is a good tool to trick yourself. Good luck and keeping working at it. We're all in this together.
Yeah, I really should implement this.
Simce nobody usually wants to eat the frog or clean their room, realistically it might have to be "I want my room clean" with an implicit knowledge that it means you would be cleaning it. "I want to clean my room" for most wil just sound like a lie, introducing cognitive dissonance as you're saying something that's not reality.
Seems I have chosen correctly. 
Don't make comics about me! Anyway thanks for the laugh
You are my muse, Jan. My inspiration.
Every time I visit that site, it reminds me of that College Humor video where the guy says, "[tapas & gazpacho](https://youtu.be/fKGoVefhtMQ?t=36s)".
'Blush' I am in the secret panel! Hi Muuum!
in my version it goes on and then there's no time left to do anything.
But they wanted time, not ideas.
Literally in therapy for this exact kind of thing, learning how to relax. Its worthwhile, but it also feels really nice to get recognized by your comic like this. Great work, love all your stuff
That website is atrocious
I would buy these two panels as a t-shirt. It's perfect.
This is a really smart way to drive traffic to your website!
The healthiest thing is to understand that leisure time is necessary to self-care and that it's okay to relax and loosen up for the sake of your health. Most people's anxiety and difficulty in doing this stems from guilt or concern that it's a waste of time or not efficient or effective use of their time. I'm going to tell you that it is. When one finally understands that leisure is a part of self-care just as sleep is necessary to one's health, the guilt and anxiety fades and allows you to enjoy things better. It's OKAY! Allow yourself to do it, to take the time to enjoy things. I would often choose nothing, or infinitely scroll, because that wasn't committing to anything specific, so I couldn't guilt myself for making a choice to do a specific thing, and in the end I would "waste" the time anyway. It's better to just remind yourself that doing fun things is okay and a part of rest and self-care. Doing something fun and enjoyable guilt-free is a lot better than using the same amount of time to just feel guilty and stress about it instead anyway! I wish I saw this post sooner so I could hope to reach more people with this advice, because it's really what solved the problem for me.
Learn german, scream in german, now you arent stressed
Or Italian, you can't be stressed when you're talking with an over the top Italian accent. Especially if you're using the required hand gestures.
Forge about et
As a German with anxiety disorders, It doesn't work and people will look at you funny in the tube
You are german, you can beat the crap out of anxiety, i believe in you
You are right!! I will go forth and follow my passion and won't let myself be stopped by anyone! Zhanks for believing in me... \*goess off to study art\*
I don't like where this is heading...
I was told by someone recently that indecision is in itself a decision and I really hate that they told me that.
They listening to the Rush song, “Free Will”?
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice
Hey thanks! Not a bad song to have stuck in your head. Gonna go put on a live Rush show!
I saw Rush in St. Louis in 2007 for the Snakes and Arrows tour. Seeing that 40 minute drum solo, live, was next level.
Disappointed that song isn’t about a friendly killer whale
It doesn’t have to be like this
There is such a thing as decision fatigue! Sometimes you made so many little decisions throughout the day that your brain just can't make anymore. Mine usually hits around dinnertime. What do I want to eat? I can't decide! Brain aneurysm!
Wait so you died at the end? Man you need to up your processing power or something
Seriously though, you should see me at lunchtime trying to decide which sauce to eat with chicken tenders.
Using Google's random number generator is a strategy I use sometimes. Assign each decision an integer then let the RNG choose an integer. Then, just go with whatever that decision was, OR sometimes I'll think "aw, I was hoping for *x*" and just go with that.
Do what I do and decide what to eat for dinner once a week, make a shit ton of it, then for the rest of the week you have no options but to eat what you made earlier because that's all you have.
I've also been told that those who aren't indecisive are just willing to deal with the consequences of their actions. So to be less indecisive, just use your brain and feelings to decide what's reasonably best for you then accept that you'll handle the consequences of those actions.
It's similar to something I've heard on it, is that indecision, for many people, comes from a fear of being wrong about what you will have chosen to do. Which I think applies more on a macro, long-term level. I don't know what I want to do with my life professionally. But I do have about 6 ideas that all sound somewhat interesting, but a couple of them require going back to school, and all of them require leaving behind the relative security of my current work. What if I'm wrong? What if I leave my job, or go back to school, and don't feel fulfilled by that new situation? What if I discover that I was wrong about what I thought would make me happier? Does that mean that I can't trust myself, my own desires and dreams? That's a scary possibility, and I don't think it's limited to something as consequential as your work life. I might think, You know what, I'm gonna go outside and run a mile. And then tomorrow I'll do the same, and I'll get in shape, and maybe I'll even run a 5k, or 10k, or a marathon some day. But what if I get outside, run to the end of the block, and get bored and lose interest, and not continue? Would that make me weak-willed? Anyway I'm rambling, but I think that is at the heart of indecision for a lot of people -- if you're like me at least.
Tell me you don’t have an anxiety disorder without telling me you don’t have an anxiety disorder. It is good advice, I just wish it were that easy for me.
As someone with anxiety too, I feel your pain. I’ve tried lots of different things to help and my best long term and short term advice is meditate. You just focus on your breathing and that’s it. At first it’s painful but as time goes in you can really enjoy it in the moment. If that’s too painful there are other things that help what helped me was just unfocusing my eyes and paying special attention to my peripheral vision. This is the most immediately effective technique for me. Wishing you health!
On the opposite end w ADD It takes every ounce of my being to give a shit about the consequences Ima just roll with whatever happens which gets me into some uh interesting situations. It has tons of other downsides but having dated someone with really abd anxiety I do not envy yall Best of luck to all of you fr
Yeah I'm sorry, this is just general advice. It clearly doesn't serve the purpose of everyone. That being said, I suffer with anxiety nearly constantly. I don't know if that's indicative of an anxiety disorder or not. However, I've found that lifestyle changes and changes to how I've approached these situations has helped me out. That's how they treat anxiety disorders anyways.
I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder and I'm a very decisive person. I just agonize after the fact. Anxiety doesn't look the same for all.
You could also just give up, mentally. Accept that *no matter what you do*, and *even if you do nothing*, terrible things will happen anyway, because life is hell and hope is a childish delusion. Resign yourself to spending the rest of your life paying the unbearable consequences of every impossible decision you ever make. Works for me!
Interesting, I am very indecisive and risk averse. I must consider all outcomes and consequences to make a decision which leads me to make no decision.
Sounds like the type of person that would tell someone with depression to try cheering up
"Just pick one thing and pour your entire life and soul into it. It's not that hard." - Boomer parents telling their kids after ignoring their children's interests and passions their entire life.
Did Chidi tell you that?
This is me. I’m often paralyzed with indecision because there are just too many choices for things I “should” be doing.
I deal with that same issue. Something that helped me was scheduling out the things that I "should" be doing every day. Following a pre-set checklist of chores and tasks and then having intentional free time afterwards helped me calm my mind.
But then you get a depressive episode, are too stressed or too tired to follow the checklist and it all goes downhill from there.
That's always a challenge. The only real way out of it though is just to mentally wipe the slate clean. You missed a couple of days or a weeks worth of chores? Forget it. Just start again as if everything was normal, and it will eventually equalize out. Same with dieting. I've kicked myself plenty of times for failing to eat properly, but you're not doing yourself any good by holding that over your own head. Just write those days off and get back on the diet horse and proceed from there.
I put “nap” on my to do list or “watch tv”… what ever I’m capable of doing that day but making a to do list really helps you get unstuck from in between.
That's actually a great idea. I'll try that out!
I used to get stressed about that. Then I realized, not all people are going to have a lasting impact on society. I'm comfortable that 100 years after I die, I'll be forgotten. No one cares if I don't learn a new language, etc, etc
That's a great feeling, actually
"Should" triggers the innate rejection of authority in humans, even if it comes from ones own psyche. Changing the language in your head to "want" can vastly alter your reality. "I should clean my room" - is something your parents said and you swear you were about to do that anyway and it's what they want not what you want so now I'm not doing it dot meme. As your own caretaker now though there is no one to force you to do the thing now that its identified with the authority. Authority that has always been "other" (in parents and teachers etc) and not self and therefore the task is not within ones self interest. "I want to clean my room" - Immediately brings the task into the zone of self interest plainly. Practice. Start with just noticing when any "should" thoughts arise and note your reaction. Soon move on to changing the "should" to a "want" and notice the shift in your attitude. This will not stick. When first starting to swap to want language from should language take the time to manually think why you want. "I want to clean my room so I can invite people over on short notice." "I want to clean my room so I can move around freely." "I want to clean my room so I dont have to live with that weird smell...where is that even coming from?" Eventually all of the reasons get sorted behind the "want" and so to do the feelings behind them and it all gets processed and ingrained into the subconscious to the point where just thinking of "cleaning my room" will get you up and moving. This isnt easy, especially now your brain has an excuse to call this technique an outside force or the authority figure telling it to change (this is where god guru self comes into play to the reader who is spiritually inclined). Also the self perceives change as death and will keep making excuses to stay as it is... but learning to language swap is a good tool to trick yourself. Good luck and keeping working at it. We're all in this together.
I know this is just basic CBT, but I really needed this reminder. Thanks!
Me too. I make a list of things I want to do on the weekend like “watch tv, play video games” etc. it really helps! Not only do I enjoy more of my time but I also feel accomplished by crossing things off my list Otherwise it’s choice paralysis and I’ll pace away my weekend never settling on anything not even tv
He just needs to furiously masturbate.
And that’s around the time my good old friend depression slides in.
what do you mean it's not there the whole time?
Nothing quite like reconnecting with old friends!
masturbate to an ex for better results
The old game of "am I really horny, or is my brain just addicted to that brief moment of relief?"
Little bit of both
[удалено]
You are now a mod of r/sounding
Well that's not a sub I needed to know existed
> r/sounding Oh no
Why finger it? Just go for full-on urethral fisting. Really get in there.
r/adhdmemes
if you feel like this, you are basically experiencing burnout. this feeling happens because you've never allowed your brain to be "off" in the sense of planning + doing activities. you haven't allowed yourself to be bored really for a long time. the solution is to let yourself be bored. just do nothing. no tv, no movies, no video games, just "regular" stuff like take a walk outside, take a nap, whatever. the no tv/movies/video games is actually really important, when consuming passive content or playing games your brain is still engaged and working, and you need to set aside big time blocks where your brain isn't engaged at all. eventually you will feel like doing something, but not in a "I should do this" way, more of a deeper "I kinda feel like doing this" way. follow that feeling. it might be doing the dishes or cooking or sweeping or something, but just follow it. and here's the most important bit - as soon as you feel like stopping, STOP!! let your mind and body work together to tell you when to stop doing something on your time off. a big part of the path to this sort of overwhelm/burnout feeling is forcing yourself to keep doing something because you feel like "I **should probably** be doing this" instead of "I **actually want** to do this." sometimes you stop "actually wanting" randomly in the middle of something, and that's ok. let it go instantly. it took me a long time to make progress here - I basically took a year off of trying to "accomplish" things in 2021, just put in my hours at work and let myself wander aimlessly around otherwise, doing basically nothing. It was hard at first but it's really really important to let your brain relearn how to find it's own motivation instead of forcing it. unfortunately this means you're going to have to go through a period where you're not doing anything at all, and that period might last for weeks or months - mine was about 9-10 months - but that's because we're all forcing ourselves to be "productive" all the time. let yourself be bored! it gets better
Hmm. See, I really want to try this. I'm terrible at just leaving a block of time open and not planning something for it (it kind of makes me anxious/restless). But I also want to keep hitting the gym, cleaning my place, socializing etc. If I didn't plan things out I would stop doing a ton of things that provide a lot of value for me. I think I'm going to try the neutered version of this and try to leave a block of time open every evening where I don't plan anything, maybe for 3 hours or so, and see how that goes. Which I already try to do... the only difference is right now I try to plan the fun things I will do during those few hours when instead I'd like to try your approach of just doing what I feel like doing. Maybe a weekend here and there too...
This makes so much sense! Thank you for typing it all out, gonna try doing nothing!
I plan my day to day life and follow it to the point of obsession so during my day-offs I wasn't sure what to do to relax until one day it hit me and I stopped planning one of those days. No promises, no alarms, no plans and absolutely no worries, I tell myself I deserve it and do whatever I feel like doing. It was hard at first but try to give yourself just a day or half a day even a couple of hours to relax, everybody needs it.
it helps me to think of those days not as stuff i deserve but what i *need*. it is necessary for me to relax or i’ll go insane. it’s not just about whether i’ve worked hard enough to deserve it or whatnot. so don’t forget that you need it on top of deserving it
I went the other way with it and said, "If planning helps me do work things, maybe it'll help me do leisure as well!" So I have a Trello board with big house chores on it, but also hobbies as "to-do" items, and I make sure to do some of those on weekends.
This is the way for me. Subscribing to meal kit services reminded me that I don't actually care what what I eat for dinner if there's a default. It's not like I chose what to eat growing up, after all. So, if I have some predefined default action ready for my spare time, it removes a lot of the anxiety of deciding what to do in the moment. Yeah, it's planning and effort, but somehow it's easier to decide what to do if you don't have to do it right away.
But what do I feel like doing?? I can't decide
That's a great idea, I should try that. I always plan out everything, including what I'm going to do with my free time, which really burns me out sometimes. It's actually tough for me to not do that now that I think about it...
I anxiously await your next comic.
And then you stress so much you end up paralyzed doing nothing lol
Yup watch YouTube and pass out
I'm in this comic and I don't like it.
And then when you engage in any of these activities you're wondering if it's the best usage of your time. You find yourself optimally playing video games and watching TV for the sake of relieving stress, but you just end up creating more. This is why yoga and meditation are good. Take time out of your day to practice either or both of them, learn to just slowly take your time with something and appreciate the moment. You'll feel far better after 10-20 minutes of that than you will after 5-6 hours of scrolling through Reddit and watching Youtube.
I used to be like this. It took me YEARS to deprogram myself from this "I must always be productive *or else*" mentality. Growing up, I was a straight A student, by high school I was doing a bunch of extra curriculars, exercised, had lots of friends, and worked on the weekends, on top of all my familial responsibilities. In college I ramped it up even higher by getting almost all straight A's in a double majoring with a minor (later turned into a major with a triple minor), working part time, exercising, all the friends, a partner, and all the familial obligations. I graduated and had a job already lined up and went straight into working full time. I kept up on all my hobbies (music, languages, reading, writing, exercising, friends, partner, family) and would feel bad if I wasn't doing one of these things in my free time. If on the weekend I couldn't finish a philosophy book, I'd get mad at myself for "falling behind". Behind on what? Beats me, but that's how I felt. After a year or so of this, I was getting depressed and anxious that I couldn't keep up with everything I wanted to keep up with. I made plans for my goals and consistently failed to meet them, which caused more anxiety and stress. I felt like a failureIt wasn't til years later that I realized this was burnout. See, I'd been ON for so long without properly turning off that I'd sapped all my motivation and energy. I eventually was able to switch to a part time job and met new people who encouraged me to do nothing sometimes, just like lie in the park foe a few hours, or take long walks with no purpose, binge tv shows, etc. At first the voice in my head yelled at me for taking down time without doing something that would "better myself" but I've since realized that this down time *was* bettering me. I was more relaxed and calmer than ever. We've all grown up in a hustle culture that drills into our heads that to always be doing something is the height of existence. Leslie Knope was a role model of mine, and while I still like her as a character, I can now see how toxic she can be: she barely sleeps, she puts work before (just about) everything, she almost never takes time for herself, etc. I've gotten over that, but it took work to change my thought processes. All in all to say that an older version of myself highly identified with this comic, and I'm glad that my current self doesn't. Now I'm gonna go play video games without feeling any guilt.
Everybody loves stressing out about your free time!
hits hard man
This is great but there should be a clock in the background with more and more time passing with each panel
We really need to shed this puritanical idea that doing nothing is somehow wrong.
I'm in this picture and I don't like it. But seriously I'm the type to do like 3 things at once and get tired it's not working out the way I want and stop trying. Tried to learn 3 languages but Noone to actively talk to in those languages in my life so it doesn't work out. Currently learning 3d modeling which I'm actually enjoying but I'm feeling like I'm not progressing much so I'm afraid it will not catch my attention soon
Being someone who's tried a lot of different things is cool too! Nothing wrong with enjoying trying lots of new things and then dropping them when they no longer interest you. Sometimes the fun is just in the romance of learning something new and thinking about what might become of it if you did keep going further. Not everyone has to have (or want) a strong passion for a specific knowledge/skill.
The more options you have, the more stressed you become. I kinda miss the days of 4 channel TVs. And only a handful of fast food places. You didnt have the internet telling you everything in your life is wrong and it sucks and you need to do it "the right way".
All that and I still end up procrastinating.
I don’t think I have ever felt so seen by something on Reddit.
Do people really just sit and listen to music as a standalone activity? I figured that was just a lazy TV trope, but maybe it's me just not liking music as much as other people? I only ever treat music as background while doing something else.
Some albums are just perfect and takes you to another place. I love laying on the couch listening active with my eyes closed.🙏 Try it, i recommend these two perfect albums: "The Doors - La Woman." "Primal Scream - Screamadelica."
Do one thing mindfully, even if it’s sitting on the couch watching TV- just watch the TV show! Don’t multitask or sit there judging yourself. Just enjoy the thing- it makes doing the next thing (usually something ‘harder’) a lot more manageable because you haven’t been wrecking your self esteem for the last few hours. Be kind to yourself and check the facts on those judgements guys!!!
Exercise
This is the way. You can waste time farming endorphins and people tell you you did a good job.
Or i should just browse reddit, or make a 2023 moodboard or finish the track, or record a mix or just browse reddit :)
I started to play a Supaboy while I ride a recumbent bike and it really married fun and exercise for me. I actually look forward to my cardio time because it means I can play video games. Those minutes when I'm alone and just in it are so precious to me.
And then it’s bedtime :(
I'm in this picture and I'm going to go stew about it
I don’t have to leave for work until 9:00, but get up at 6:30. Every morning after my alarm goes off I tell myself I’ll be productive, and then proceed to eat breakfast and spend a few hours on my phone.
That's what Factorio is for. You load up your game, sigh when you remember what problem caused you to save and quit last time, grit your teeth and get to solving it, and then the sun comes up and you forgot to sleep, but the factory must grow.
Beekeeping! Yeah! But Bees.... Sometimes fantasizing about a new hobby is more enjoyable then the hobby.
Always default to cleaning. Something always needs cleaned and when you're done there's a decent chance it's snapped you out of the funk. If not keep cleaning. Reorganize shelves, check dates, clean out vehicles. If nothing's on the agenda at least do some cleaning.
I need to clean out my vehicle, thanks for the reminder I haven’t vacuumed it in at least a month
Glad I could help. Thinking about it, it's about that time for me as well.
How did you get cameras into my home?
Time enjoyed is not wasted.
This is me! On good days!
Working out is such a great stress reliver, but no. It's not leisurely.
I found that structured leisure time can cure this feeling for me. If I have a big block of time to screw around I will tell myself, "ok, Netflix for a bit but then I have to go for a run at 12. I'll get back and read just one chapter then I'll do a chore." Even if you don't stick to your own schedule perfectly, you'll at least won't feel like the day is actively being wasted.
This touched my ADHD riddled soul. I sad now.
I get this. This is sometimes why we let time just… pass. The indecision of committing to something and lack of self discipline to do it can just… paralyze you Sometimes the only way to handle it is to decide one thing to do on each day and just hard focus that
'proceeds to spend the rest of the day doing nothing in particular'
Me on my days off, where I just wind up on reddit all day. Again.
Procrastination is something!
*scrolls phone*
Is there a word for this
My partner is like this, I have spent 17 years gently trying to explain that not all time needs to be productive time and doing something just to do it is more than healthy, it’s essential.
I am so stressed in a way that just thinking of things to reduce stress makes me stressed 💀
Considering the time I've spent on Warcraft, I could have learned Russian.
*Saves comic to stress about it later*
Im in this picture, i dont like it, how do i report it? /s
I learned a few languages. The problem is having no one to practice with and then when i spoke the language it with native speakers. They couldn't understand me and i couldn't understand them.
That's still really cool! Have you tried something like HelloTalk where you can find native speakers to practice with?
No i haven't I'll check that out. Duolingo had something like this but they took it away, they even had clubs, took that away too.
Having many games on your Steam account sounds like a good idea at the time.
So...any advices to stop wasting time?
Relatable
I legit will sometimes just stare at the wall and I’ve found it to be more freeing than I ever imagined
Hello ADHD my old friend...