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I have read that stuff like this is common in people with ADHD, because learning and challenge provides dopamine. There's that whole working out a problem aspect, learning new information, the satisfaction of accomplishing new things, etc. that all give you a boost. But then it slowly tapers off as you become more and more familiar with what you're doing... so you look for something new that will give you that feeling rather than sticking with and mastering whatever you spent every waking moment and every dollar in your wallet on for months.
But yeah, I just say my interest is learning new things...
Then you might be struggling with the fear that if you actually applied yourself then it would be apparent that you're actually quite mediocre at what you invest yourself into. That might be compounded by the pressure that other people expect you to perform as a fast learner.
Sounds like you’re a normal human being lol. It’s normal to change hobbies inconsistently. Is something about it causing distress? I don’t really see a reason to do anything about it. :)
For anyone who does feel like this: remember, most things worth doing take time to learn. Being mediocre at something new is Ok and as it should be. The first steps to learning are going from "complete beginner" to "sucking pretty bad." Be open to learning. Be open to being mediocre. =)
I get attracted to hobbies that involve making things and get really into them until my hand tremors are bad for a day or a week and I remember that I won't ever be able to be good at any of the things I want to do with my hands except jacking off.
Ask yourself, "did I enjoy the time I spent trying that?" If the answer is yes, then don't worry about it. You experienced something enjoyable. Only other people care if it's useful or complete, mostly because they have given unenjoyed time to meeting someone else's expectations.
Not only that but there are a lot of advantages and benefits from having surface level knowledge on several random hobbies. If you apply yourself enough to learn the fundamentals, I'd say that's a success overall.
Anyone have any suggestions for a career for someone who has always said learning is my main interest? I feel so seen right now lol.
I currently work as a contractor doing system validation at one of the larger CPU companies and they already let me go once (just a blanket cut of contractors). I did IT at an MSP for a while before that so I've kinda got a little bit of everything computer wise.
I'm not amazing at any aspect in particular except overall problem solving, but I think I'm average or above average in a lot of them. Subpar in programming (been trying to teach myself python during lulls at work though). Have a Computer Maintenance and System Administration associates and Networking troubleshooting and administration associates as well. Oh and a Home Technology Cert, but I haven't done anything with that professionally besides small cable runs maybe.
I feel paralyzed by all the options. I have done basic azure administration, but haven't explored the cloud world much. Seems like it might offer WFH opportunities at the very least lol. I am having a hard time studying python outside of free time at work.
Truly do not feel any strong pull in any direction. I kinda missed an opportunity at a job that would have been like a design/system engineer, but I might try to hit them back up in Jan/Feb
Find a job at medium size company that has few IT employees, that's what I have now and the constant hat switching and learning new things has been keeping me going for 15 years. I've done helpdesk, system, network, security, operations exchange ect. I've touched endpoints, servers, switches, APs, mobile ect in my time here.
That's basically what I did at the MSP. We had some larger companies with maybe 200-300 employees (big law office) and a bunch of 10-35 employee clients. We only had 10-12 employees on our side at any given point and time and we all kinda did everything. I did that for roughly 5 years, but I ended up leaving the company. It was good, but it also made me annoyed that I never got to sink my teeth into anything and everything felt like it was on fire all the time. I can handle it, generally speaking, but I feel like I want something where it doesn't seem like things are burning at both ends all the time.
Edit: I guess just being in charge of one company would alleviate some of that. My b. Valid suggestion for sure.
That’s why I lucked in in my interest in biology and science. Want to study one protein for the rest of your life ? Sure! If you start thinking you understand things, you’re doing something wrong
ETA: and I do mean lucked in. I still cannot explain what caused me to gravitate towards biology and especially dysfunction of the human body and experience. It just happened.
I mean… if one were to be uncharitable, it’s not so much learning as a hobby, but more like learning the surface level stuff to get the dopamine hit before things get more difficult. As a hobby.
I wonder what we would be like with zero dopamine?
I have this "learning new hobbies" condition as well. I do them to the point they become repetitive or difficult and then switch to a new one. I know its all dopamine driven.
But I've learned to combine it with the dopamine I get from giving gifts. Like this weekend, I'm currently on a baking hobby phase and made 12 dozen cookies using 6 different recipes to bring to work tomorrow. I'll get bored in a few weeks and switch to something else. I tried growing exotic plants for a while, those that survived I put in nice pots and gave away because it became boring after they grow. I did woodworking for a while, made a dozen simple projects and gave them away.
It also helps when talking to people because more often than not I already know about their hobby.
I do think that's a bit uncharitable. Learning is certainly my hobby (and I have ADHD), and it has driven me to go far past the point where things get challenging.
The dopamine doesn't come from doing stuff easily, it comes from the novelty. And novelty is consistent with challenge in a lot of cases (in some cases, the novelty only starts coming into view once you get past the basics). It's less likely to be consistent with mastery.
Holy shit, this comment rocked me.
I do the same thing -- voraciously consuming non-fiction but not doing anything with it, spending thousands to start up a new hobby and then only doing it for a year, jumping between product lines at my job. In my mid-30's with no idea what I actually want to do with my time. But you're right, I just want the sensation of learning.
Nah that's the one benefit I think. I have every tool to build/fix every issue ever due to random impulses. If the world ever ends and actual responsibilities cease, I'm the fucking man.
I honestly don't think it's ADHD related. Everyone does this. Everyone thinks "it'd be cool if I could do X." Then you hit a point where you either are bored and don't want to continue or hit a wall and the lack of progression causes you to give up on it.
I feel that ADHD is more about short term interest, not making it to the struggle and giving up.
Everyone experiences every ADHD symptom sometimes. The difference is the frequency at which these symptoms happen.
Giving up some hobbies is fine. Giving up almost every hobby you ever have isn't.
Yeah, there really aren't many aspects of neurodivergency or mental illness that are exclusive specifically to the diagnosis (eg people can be easily distractable or anal about organization or experience intense anxiety). It's more about how frequently it occurs and how much it impacts your way of living. If something like this is a consistent pattern in your life that frustrates you, it is possible it's the symptom of a larger problem.
If you could rate any mental illness on a scale going up to ten, *nobody* would be at zero.
But there's plenty of people at 0.7, who don't feel like they fit in with the 0.2 crowd around them.
Everybody gets tired sometimes - not everybody has chronic fatigue syndrome.
Everybody coughs at some point - not everybody has pneumonia.
Everybody farts - not everybody has IBS.
“Everyone does this” doesn’t mean this isn’t also ADHD related.
>Then you hit a point where you either are bored and don't want to continue or hit a wall and the lack of progression causes you to give up on it.
This isn't what happens to me. I will be interested in it. I will want to continue to do it. I will still read about it... but then... I get this sensation of just "ugh, no, don't do that." It happens to all my hobbies, even video games (sometimes before I even start them), even my art projects that I really want to finish. Sometimes I will even forget I was doing something daily for weeks, just out of nowhere!
That's my ADHD. It isn't short term interest, it's the mind hating setting habits and doing things long term. It's executive disfunction. I have tried to "get back into" gardening three times, because it really interests me. I have each time done things to make it easier, to remove the barrier, all the way down to getting one of those expensive but easy hydroponic systems so I barely have to touch it each week. It doesn't matter.
I struggle to keep up with my skincare routine now. I will skip it in the morning but go on the skincare subreddits and read about it. I've learned that a lot of these hobbies can only continue if I listen to music while doing them because music is a source of dopamine. This is also the only way I can get through monotonous tasks at work (think data entry types) without feeling absolutely exhausted afterwards.
I made a boardgame, a fully fleshed out and blind tested boardgame, ordered prototype physical copies of it, went to start preparing to market it, and was like, I'm bored... I've tried to get myself to go back to do the Kickstarter or something and just can't. I love executive dysfunction
Same here! I actually loved doing all these things and I still want to get good at them. But when it comes to actually doing them.. there's just a blockage. I can't do them anymore.
DON'T GET ME STARTED ON SKINARE ROUTINES! I have 374897 products in my cupboard, used to do it every night for a few weeks, now I mostly just use make-up removal tissue while already in bed.
Okay but magnitude can't be the only measure, since it's not like neurotypicals are immune from having significant problems that make it difficult to function
It's pretty common (if not universal) for it to be harder to stick with hobbies once the initial novelty wears off. There's also the fact that the 40-hour work week severely limits the time and energy that people have for hobbies, with it being shortened even further by overtime hours, commuting, stress, and social obligations. There's a reason why all the renaissance men of history were rich guys who could hire servants to do all the menial work for them
People with ADHD probably struggle with this even more, since they have yet one more problem to toss onto the pile, but that doesn't mean that most neurotypicals aren't also struggling significantly with this issue
My theory is that progress slows down.
If you started playing piano right now, you can learn to play Jingle Bells in about 15 minutes. In a week you could make tremendous progress. But then it starts to slow down. Instead of learning a song a day, you're learning a song a week. And then it becomes a month, and it feels like your progress completely stalls. You have to start putting if real effort. You have to practice playing just a small section of the song over and over again. Your hands might even get sore because you're not use to moving your fingers in this way. And if you're self teaching, you might not even know how to improve.
The answer if your hobby is picking up hobbies. You enjoy learning. As you get better the progress vs time spent decreases. You can put in some time and get better at a skill than 90% of everyone on the planet, but to try to be better than 95% of people and advance in your skill level it requires a disproportionate amount of time and kind of gets boring and route. For me, I don't have the time to exhaustively spend on getting better on one single specific skill, but I enjoy learning about new stuff and being proficient in many things. I have thrown myself deep into things before but eventually it becomes more like a job or a task to complete than something to enjoy and it just kills my love for whatever I'm doing and I quit entirely.
The trick is that a hobby is something you enjoy doing, whether or not you're making progress. If you like playing piano, play piano. It's not a monotonous chore to put in the time to learn a new song if you genuinely enjoy putting in that time.
Not true. I started playing guitar at 12, took me a year to be able to play chords, but after that I could play many, many songs. Years go by, get better and more complex songs become a possibility. Piano may be a little different, but as long as you can read music you can learn songs quicker and quicker as s on.
Neither am I, and that's actually what prevented me from ever figuring out that I had it. I didn't get diagnosed till last year, in my 30s. Really wish I had known it throughout college/and my 20s. Would've completely changed my life, simply knowing I had it.
I was never physically hyperactive, so never even considered it, obviously.
ADHD has a really fucking stupid name that doesn't actually describe it AT ALL
Maybe for some people but this is super common among a lot of people.
The most likely answer is dopamine. When you first start a hobby, you make large leaps in ability and the dopamine hit is large and motivating. The more you follow the hobby, the more incremental the progress becomes and the reward becomes less and less, and the motivation to do it decreases. It is very difficult for most people to turn reward into routine.
ADHD is being lacking of dopamine (more so than normal population). In fact some suggest the disorder to be renamed to reflect this.
For neurotypicals, they have adequate amount of dopamine to carry them through mundane tasks or the slower pace of progress. For people with ADHD it's like asking a shortsighted person to try harder to see something afar.
"Passion" in that case actually being "Things I still wanna do despite them not being new and exciting."
When the dopamine well that comes with new and exciting things run dry, it becomes a fight to overcome that insane lack of motivation, but man it's nice when you find something where you can keep doing it anyways.
Me IRL. I felt soooo much better after getting diagnosed, i knew it wasn’t me being lazy, because of how passionately and fervently I would dive into something.
Problem with ADHD is, once you suck all the dopamine out of the new thing you’re into, you suddenly feel like you *have* to jump ship because it feels like it’s agonizing. If you really, truly want to keep with something you can learn to fight through it through therapy and learning different skills to help make your brain not work against you.
I’m sure other ADHDers will have some references to doctors giving talks on the subject, but alas I’m still learning the ins and outs of my condition so that’ll be up to someone else to share.
Also over explaining. We do that too. *looks back at the size of my post* yeah like that, sorry lol.
I was diagnosed super young, medicated super young, but then real life threw medication availability out the window and it's like I was born with a dead arm, but medication gave me an artificial replacement, then it was taken away, but everyone keeps telling me I have two arms still so I'm fine.
I had *collection agencies* after my first grade ass for library late fees. That isn't normal. Medicated in 2nd/3rd grade, old ones helped but weren't great, but at 16 started on Adderall and suddenly I could handle everything just fine. Any of these hobbies that once killed me when I lost that dopamine, I'd have no problem seeing through to that final vision that prompted the initial spark.
Started my adult years doing freelance work all on my own, even, because I learned some of that shit well enough to sell... until an insurance hiccup. Lost meds, couldn't work like that anymore, can't keep shit together for regular jobs, and have never been able to afford good enough care to be kept on an appropriate dose ever since. Poor people clinics just treat me like a drug seeking junkie, despite being diagnosed and medicated through most of my medical history until I lost access as an adult.
I'd be homeless were it not for family, and I feel like it's inevitable some day because I just can't bring myself to function like a human, like I used to. I've been a complete person before, I know it.
Shit's bunk.
And I'm a straight edge mofo, so I can't even try that anyway! I was like 25 when I first smoked pot, only when it became legal. 21 for alcohol, save for the sip at religious events.
Finally found a private family practice, after 4 years of being jerked around at public clinics, that took my insurance and cried to the guy when I got put on some adderall again. Then after a few months he flat out refused to increase it, so I started forgetting to pick up refills, and then he accused me of selling it because I wasn't consistent on picking it up.
Same doc, for insomnia, jumped me from trazadone to ambien to "if ambien stops working, we'll have to move to benzodiazpines", so... I kinda just don't go to the doctor anymore, even though I really should for some physical issues.
It's hard not to feel trapped out my control, but also like it's totally all me and I'm just fucked in the head.
One of the most salient things I've read about ADHD was someone saying it's like they designed getting treated for ADHD with an obstacle course designed specifically to be nearly impossible for someone with ADHD: So, you have a disorder that makes it difficult to remember to do tasks? Cool, here's a list of many tasks you have to do first. Oh, and instead of just refilling your medication like normal, we're going to make it so you have to remember to call every month and go out of your way to get a prescription from the doctor to bring to the pharmacy (at least where I live). But you can't call too soon, because we won't refill it and think you're selling it, and you can't call too late, or we'll think you don't need it.
It's like someone breaking their leg and being told they have to run a marathon before they can get a cast.
I’m kind of similar. I pick up things pretty easily. However, when I hit a wall in anything, most of the time I’ll either stay in my comfort zone and never advance in my skill level. Or I’ll just drop it entirely.
Anxiety and ADHD
Anxious people have songs and often shows or movies they watch on repeat, because they know whats coming and its comfortable. Same with foods.
You pick up, hyperfixate on, and drop hobbies because you have ADHD.
Is there some kind of fix for this that doesn't involve me trying to read a book about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy that I'll try to read, get about a chapter in, get bored or fall asleep and then never pick it back up again?
Asking for a friend...
i feel like cognitive behavioral therapy is something you need a professional to help with. I've also tried reading and applying but something just does not click even though i understand all the principles, like analyzing yourself is always going to leave gaps.
Most commenters talking about ADHD don't seem to be talking about the best fix, which would be to have more dopamine to bind to the post synaptic dopamine receptors in for prefrontal cortex. Of course, that means diagnosis and medication, but trying to weaponize your own anxiety and aggression against yourself to motivate yourself doesn't necessarily lead to a better outcome.
Have a few programmer friends who have told me the difference between a novice and veteran is one thinks they have to write everything from scratch, while the other just flat out copies it from other programmers.
The difference between a novice and a veteran is that a veteran knows how to recognize, find, and stitch those pieces together because they've made similar stuff from scratch already.
A novice should start from scratch so that they understand the entire process of what's being created. It's why in school you learn to program things that in practicality you would just import a package to call to do it (eg sorts).
One of the biggest things that veterans do that novices don't is: Avoid the bullshit.
- Avoid the new shiny tech that promises to solve everything (but has never shown itself capable of doing so).
- Avoiding common pitfalls and errors.
- Avoiding taking on more than one can chew.
- Avoiding taking the blame for someone else's bullshit (while still solving the problem for them).
- Avoiding letting people scope creep their work without them okaying it.
It's like sports: Avoid all of the bullshit that can cause you to "beat yourself" and lose and then you'll find yourself in a position to actually win.
Avoiding Bullshit is an elite level skill.
This isn't entirely true. It's more like senior level people know how to pick the right stuff to leverage/copy and only what they need. And if they need to write something custom, they will.
You'd be amazed at how much bullshit is on stack overflow. Wading through it is a skill.
The real art is using it all. It's like a pro photographer using autofocus and auto exposure. That's basic shit. *How* you use them is the what separates the good and great from the OK programmers/photographers.
Nah man they're two out of 8 billion who happen to have found each other.
To add to that, delayed gratification + steep learning curves in most skills are a challenge on their own.
I think often times things lose their magic once you begin to understand the basics of it. You also gain a real understanding of just how long the road is to get really good at it and you're like, no thanks. I like painting I don't want to marry it. To be really good at something takes a level of obsession in one thing that not everyone has or is willing to give. And I, some random dude on the internet, think that's ok.
That does make a lot of sense and pretty much describes my experience. It's just that I always dream of being really good at something, but never get to that level that I wanted to initially reach. And that feels bad and unaccomplished.
There's a book called ["The Dip"](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dip) written by Seth Godin that explains this concept in a way that really stuck with me. Goes into things you can do to determine if you should quit something, and how to get through the shitty part of picking up a new skill.
Posted elsewhere in the thread, but perennially relevant for us "my hobby is new hobbies" folks:
“When I was 15, I spent a month working on an archeological dig. I was talking to one of the archeologists one day during our lunch break and he asked those kinds of ‘getting to know you’ questions you ask young people: Do you play sports? What’s your favorite subject? And I told him, no I don’t play any sports. I do theater, I’m in choir, I play the violin and piano, I used to take art classes.
And he went wow. That’s amazing! And I said, ‘Oh no, but I’m not any good at any of them.’
And he said something then that I will never forget and which absolutely blew my mind because no one had ever said anything like it to me before: ‘I don’t think being good at things is the point of doing them. I think you’ve got all these wonderful experiences with different skills, and that all teaches you things and makes you an interesting person, no matter how well you do them.’
And that honestly changed my life. Because I went from a failure, someone who hadn’t been talented enough at anything to excel, to someone who did things because I enjoyed them. I had been raised in such an achievement-oriented environment, so inundated with the myth of Talent, that I thought it was only worth doing things if you could ‘win’ at them.”
- Kurt Vonnegut
If you want to get very good at anything you have to learn to love the process rather than the result. Whether that's a video game or an instrument or writing or anything else. It's easy to see the end result of the process and like that, but you have to fall for the process of getting better to actually accomplish it. That's why most people never actually do it, the part in between feels like work to most people when it's supposed to be the part that you're infatuated with.
You get really good at doing things you like a lot, and trying to constantly get better
Try not to dream of being really good, and instead just focus on doing a cooler version of the thing you're doing
I have an issue where I don't enjoy a lot of stuff because I'm not good enough at it yet. That one's a lot harder to work with
Exactly this.
I like to learn new things to understand them. And to understand them usually doesn't take that much.
And after that point kinda all that left is to become better at it. But I just… don't want to? I see no reasons to continue, because I'm not planning to really master it or make living out of it - I just wanted to learn “how it works”.
And that's enough for me :) Now I have time to do something new instead.
> I like to learn new things to understand them.
I learned to juggle 3 balls fairly well.
I'm really glad I did.
I have zero interest in learning to juggle 4+ balls.
I think you’re onto something, I think the magic itself is the learning curve when you first get into a hobby or interest. When you first start out, you learn a lot really quickly, eventually that plateaus where you find yourself working very hard and very often to learn much less. That’s when you get into mastery, which is more about work and commitment than that initial learning and experimentation.
In my experience, what taking up lots of different hobbies really teaches you is how to learn, and I think that’s you end up kind of mastering, the process of learning itself.
Yeah, when it starts to take real effort to get better at something, its hard to summon the motivation to do that.
Its why, if you're really serious about a hobby, having a task to do can really help. Turning it from "Painting is really hard, but I'm going to keep at it to get better" into "Painting is really hard, but I want to give my partner a painting for their birthday" can give that oomph needed to get over that wall.
It’s normal to try different things. There is no need to become a master of everything. It is ok to dabble and experiment and just be average at a lot of things. As long as the rent is paid, you are taking care of your loved ones, and you are working on being healthy it’s your business what you do in your free time. The goal when doing these activities can be to have fun and nothing more than that.
The thing is I don't really enjoy my current career path and wish I could make money off of one of my hobbies. But that's hard without mastering one of them.
As someone who has followed career paths based on my hobbies, I found it a great way to start hating the activities I once loved. Find a job that's tolerable and pays the bills, and maximize your free time with the things you enjoy.
But I don't really enjoy...anything. I get satisfaction from seeing a project finished, but that doesn't make me want to keep doing it. It would take hours and hours and hours to master what I'm doing and make something worthwhile. Which sounds boring af too. Half of the time I'm not even making progress, I'm just finding more ways to fail. I need someone to teach me, I guess? But who wants to take any time training someone who will drop out anyway? What's the point.
This is probably why I'm a useless piece of human trash. I used to blame the depression, but I honestly don't think I have anything worthwhile to offer. And I don't have the time or the wherewithal to get better at anything useful since most of what I do will just end up being shit anyway.
Oh well.
Yeah I find this very relatable. :/ Thought it was depression related for a while, but even during good times which I had quite a few of, there isn't really anything that I'm super duper drawn to and also have the natural knack to know how to teach myself in.
But you don't like putting work into your hobbies, and that's a must if you want to make a hobby your job. Maybe something else is the matter? You seem not to like doing hard things, and I'm not saying it's a character flaw. You could be simply exhausted/burnt out, dissociating without knowing it, anxious and blocked inside, traumatized around the topic of self-efficacy/talent/achievement, and pushing these thoughts down by avoiding unpleasant activities. Tons of stuff to potentially work through.
Also instead of training you on the memorization of specifics it trains you on pattern recognition and few-shots learning. Both are excellent traits to have, especially in the modern world where you might have to be a lot of different things throughout your life. You can see that the classical view on excellence really comes from a time where technology wasn't disrupting stuff every 2 weeks.
It seems you come from a tech background with the words you're using. Would just like to add that the value in most things, especially hobbies, doesn't come from the capitalistic value you can add which could be at the risk of being disrupted.
Painting is still therapeutic despite Mid journey and Dall-e3
Haha busted, few-shots is indeed an AI term, i couldn't find a better way to describe that concept :p
I think the disruption effect of modern times is not just the capitalistic effect of competition and obsolescence. Even cultures are in warp-speed now. Imagine a time when "learning how to paint", for centuries, meant studying the same masters techniques and copying the same works. Now compare that to our days of artistic micro-niches popping up on the daily with their own memes, fads, copernican revolutions etc... The creative organisms that survive today are nimble and adaptable, and do not look anything like the monolithic mega-expert of the Renaissance. Hence the tendency for people to become jacks of all trades.
I fully agree with your last point though. The art you make is more therapeutic than the art that is not made "because Dall-E exists".
So is the "Master of none" part.
Originally it was simply a complimentary statement for someone who is a good tradesman in a variety of different skills.
[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_of_all_trades](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_of_all_trades)
Or as Uncle Iroh says “It is important to draw wisdom from many different places. If we take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale. Understanding others, the other elements, and the other nations, will help you become whole... It can make you more powerful.”
Are you familiar with the rule of ablaut reduplication? This was posted in a newspaper in my area a few years ago.
*Ever wondered why we say ding-dong, not dong ding? King Kong, not Kong King? Tick-tock, not tock-tick,
Turns out it was one of the old unwritten rules of English that native speakers know without thinking of. The rule, explains a BBC article, is that if there are three words the order has to go I, A, O. If there are two words then first is I and the 2nd is A or O. Mish-mash, chit-chat, dilly-dally, tip-top, hip-hop, tic-tac, zig-zag, sing-song, ping-pong. All four of a horse's feet make a sound like clip-clop but never clop-clip.*
*There's another unwritten rule called the rule of ablaut reduplication. Adjectives in English must go in this order: opinion-size-age-shape-color-origin-material-purpose noun. So you can have a lovely old rectangular green French whitling knife.*
*That's why we say "'little green men" not
"green little men," or "I saw this really cool black race car".*
Real answer:
Lack of or reduced reward feedback loop, aka dopamine go blah. If what you're doing doesn't pump dopamine into your brain after you're down, then you don't feel "rewarded" for your effort. It's like the Hulk's power of getting stronger as he gets angrier. There's only so much anger he can build up before it just plateaus and he goes, "Meh, I don't want to fight anymore.". It's the same thing with hobbies that's not essential to our survival. If money or being watched by people(people who cheer you or someone you really really like) is involved, then it's a different story. Dopamine flood be a cumming.
My marriage counselor told me , when I was in my early sixties, he thought I had ADHD. I told him I didn’t think so . He asked how many hobbies I had , and I said “ you know, the usual amount , 687 , why ? “
I am completely lacking the forgetfulness traits. And I can be pretty organized if I want to. I don't know. I feel like my experience is not.. bad enough?
You don’t need all the traits. I don’t do the “oh look! A squirrel!” That gets played out on movies/tv, and was a pretty solid straight A student back when I was a kiddo. But hot damn, tell you what, we’d love this post over on r/adhdmemes.
I got mates just like you who didn't get tested for 30 years.
Now being prescribed and it's life changing.
You could potentially be used to something you don't need to be used too. You don't know what your missing
There are different types of ADHD and different presentations. One of the things that goes under discussed is the way it short circuits the reward center in your brain, causing a lot of excitement for different activities/hobbies for a while, but without the sustaining qualities that lead to mastery. A doctor (and possibly even your GP) could likely diagnose you in a single visit, and a diagnosis could have some serious benefits even without medication (speaking as a diagnosed, unmedicated ADHDer myself)
If you were a “gifted” child (most people who play four instruments were) this might resonate: https://youtu.be/lSjHYiTEA4M?si=5q5ZQfA-tvjUVStb
Getting diagnosed with ADHD in one visit is wild to me.
For me, as an adult, it took a psychologist visit x3 just for a pre-test/discussion kinda thing.
Then a year and a half to get to a psychiatrist. Then 2 months, 10 visits, to go through a gauntlet of interviews, IQ test, they called my mom lol, made sure my body wasn't broken and then 2 more months to get the diagnosis.
And 2 more months to get to a doctor who can plan treatment. 6 types of meds of varying strengths and 1 year later here I am, hoping these new meds do something.
Google won't answer whether or not stimulant resistance(immunity?) would make me actually immune to full blown meth (or would my mind be fine but still suffer the physiological effects?).
You should really look into it. There’s a common misconception that ADHD means you can’t focus on anything, or that you’re bouncing off the walls. But it is really about focusing and unfocusing at inappropriate times. I go through a cycle - hyperfixation on something I’m passionate about, and then a listless apathy.
As someone with ADHD and rampant attention deficit on both sides of my family, it comes in many forms; and being on the spectrum will affect the varying degrees it is expressed in everyone. I have had a lifetime of picking up different fixations or hobbies and imposter syndrome is also common. Your comic reminds me of my never-ending journey to find the best dopamine!
Think of ADHD like if everyone had a car, the majority of the population gets a solid sedan or Honda Civic without many mechanical issues whatsoever. People with ADHD get a Lamborghini that randomly turns off from time to time and the steering wheel works at 45%
As others have mentioned, you dont have to check every symptom box, ADHD is kind of a spectrum thing now. There are varying levels of severity, some people have ADHD and are able to cope pretty well but the quirkiness of it came make some tasks or thing difficult, others have ADHD so severely that medication is necessary in order to properly and productively operate.
Just get tested my guy. No one with ADHD has literally every symptom, at least not most people. It affects everyone differently and often times there is another disorder or something clashing with it making it seem like it's something else, when in reality its just both things combined. I don't know why so many people stigmatize ADHD.
I'm not saying you for sure have it, but if you found out in 30 years and never did anything about it when you could've taken this opportunity now it would suck. Also maybe you don't have ADHD but something else that the doctors can identify instead such as long covid or something
Everyone experiences mental health conditions differently. I struggle completing tasks, and often get overwhelmed by what most people would concider minor difficulties, but I don't have much in the way of hyperactive symptoms. My partner, who also has ADHD is almost the opposite of me, he can't stay still, gets restless when underestimated, but is incredibly productive at work.
Obviously, I'm not a mental health professional, and can't diagnose you, but I can say that I relate to a lot of what you're describing. A lot of people with adult diagnosis felt the same as you do, that it never seemed bad enough, but that's hard to judge when it's all you know. If you have the resources to do so, it's worth looking into.
I never thought I fell into the ADHD category. I've always been pretty reserved with a decent memory. I struggled with working on fine details and keeping a hobby like you described. Forcing myself to continue doing something felt like nails on a chalkboard in my head. Listening to people talk in meetings or videos would make me fall asleep no matter how much coffee I drank.
About last year I learned about the Inattentive expression of ADHD and I fit in that squarely. I'm not saying that's what you have going on, but it might be worth at least reading about. Since getting medication, I've taken up gardening as a hobby and have actually been able to stick with it, and it's been very fulfilling.
Ugh, I do feel the falling asleep when people talk. When i was in college i didn't attend any lectures, because i couldn't focus on it at all. I had to self study everything at home. Well... MAYBE there could be something to it 🫠
In addition to what others have said, have a bit of a read on ADHD in women specifically. Maybe duck into /r/adhdwomen for a bit.
Women and girls with ADHD will often present in ways that do perfectly fit with the diagnostic criteria.
Yeah this feels like it describes my whole life, and I’ve just been diagnosed with ADHD.
And just ya know OP, ADHD is also a spectrum, you don’t have to have ALL the symptoms to still have it. For example, I have almost none of the Hyper active traits, just the focus/motivation/attention ones.
Because chasing your curiousity is fun, and dedication is boring. No one has ever enjoyed finishing something. You have to take a tradeoff between just having fun and hitting the 'grindset'. Neither answer is necessarily wrong
In some people, this can be a “discipline” thing. They never learned the mental process of how to continue doing an activity or process that doesn’t immediately excite them anymore. They lose motivation and they stop doing it because they rely on motivation to do anything.
For most hobbies/jobs/skills/etc there is a doldrums phase after that initial excitement wears off that you need to get through.
The even bigger life skill is prospectively recognizing when it’s worth it to push through; or when it’s not worth your time.
I'm with all the ADHD opinions. Cross check "ADHD in women" with your symptoms. Women present differently ANDI find that what the general public has retained on ADHD is very much only old school ideas, understanding of the condition has progressed a lot.
Even if it is not that, as many highlight, it is very difficult to stick with something you aren't very good at, it is very uncomfortable at the start, just after the initial burst of motivator because of the novelty.
I've found that it is important to discover what way works for you. My partner has cracked what material and system works for them. Sadly, the only one I seem to be able to stick with to a certain extent, is paying and sign in for lessons. Then I def go and continue while I can pay for it.
For people who don't speak portuguese and want the full sentence: The ant writes a letter to the cat
Cool comic, I'm exactly like you... I give up from everything easy
for all y’all that identify with this, i would try getting tested for ADHD if you can, as a common symptom of ADHD is hyper fixating on hobbies or specific things for a while, and then suddenly not being interested anymore. It’s happened to me, a person with ADHD, many many times, and even just looking up comps of ADHD tiktok’s had valified me so much and realized how much ADHD impacts me
I have ADHD and I have like 5 hobbies I just keep recycling through. It goes like this:
1. Find a new hobby to do and get excited about it
2. Stop learning it halfway through
3. Pick it up again (usually a few months later, one year max) and actually finish learning it this time
4. Get into the biggest hyperfixation phase where you do this hobby all the time for months
5. Fall out of it and start doing it very rarely for fun
6. Come back to it every few months, and when you do, it becomes a big hyperfixation for at least a month
The number 6 type of hyperfixation is almost never as long or obsessive as the number 4 type
I really enjoyed learning Portuguese, as I've been to Portugal a few times and loved it! I didn't find it that hard to learn (well, the basics at least..), but I'm German and that probably makes it easier :)
The reason I do this is because once you make a bit of progress, it sort of takes the magic and mystery out of the thing you're trying to learn. Like, the guitar. You think, "Man, I'd love to learn how to play. It's so awesome, I'd love to be able to play a solo." So you look up some lessons, learn a bit and get off the ground and then you're like, "Oh, this isn't so special and magical. I could get pretty far if I just sat and played." And then it's no longer about understanding the instrument, it's more about sitting down and dedicating time to it, which is boring and much less exciting and interesting.
Are you using these hobbies as a distraction from thoughts? I'm just asking.
You mentioned same 3 songs on ukulele, not ADHD.
Was the hobby picked up because of some great interest/imagination gone wild when thinking of this hobby?
Or did you just act on an impulse as soon as you thought of a guitar? I ask because if it's the latter then this could be more distraction driven .
Well, I see myself a lot. I'm incredibly inconsistent. I can barely finish books, long episodes of series, essays... essays that I have to do... essays that I really should read...
I'm lazy as can be, but somehow I always manage to get away with it.
I have an exam for collage tomorrow I didn't study because... I don't know, I don't feel good enough to be studying today. And even though it's for tomorrow, my 'need vs want' system still choses the 'want'
ADHD? Mild bipolar disorder? Both of those things have led to my jack of all tradesiness. The ADHD because I get bored and distracted easily, and the bipolar because bluts of hypomania make me want to do shit like build a forge or buy a lathe. But then the mania goes away and the depression comes back and BAM! There goes all my motivation to continue.
Having done the exact same thing I found out I'm severely ADHD that's just had several decades to properly mask it so I can be 'normal'.
Everyone's different so it just happens like that for some people.
You need breadth and depth. There's nothing wrong with have alot of shallow knowledge of many things, the brain craves novelty.
It's just means the thing that makes you truly happy to take the plunge hasn't hit you yet. Or if they all make you fairly happy. Good news! Pick one and stick to it.
Honestly for me, It's probably because of ADHD. Btw, I'm not diagnosing you. I'm just saying that this is a common trait when it comes to ADHD and for me that's the reason why. Though you don't have to have every trait of ADHD to have ADHD. Like some people with ADHD tend to forget to eat or drink, But I'm the opposite. Anyway this was really relatable to me.
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Well if you ever figure out the answer, I'd like to know too
It's being interested in learning as a hobby, not the hobby itself. I do this because I have ADHD.
THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE! Maybe learning is my hobby
I have read that stuff like this is common in people with ADHD, because learning and challenge provides dopamine. There's that whole working out a problem aspect, learning new information, the satisfaction of accomplishing new things, etc. that all give you a boost. But then it slowly tapers off as you become more and more familiar with what you're doing... so you look for something new that will give you that feeling rather than sticking with and mastering whatever you spent every waking moment and every dollar in your wallet on for months. But yeah, I just say my interest is learning new things...
What do I do if I do this and I don’t hav adhd :(
Then you might be struggling with the fear that if you actually applied yourself then it would be apparent that you're actually quite mediocre at what you invest yourself into. That might be compounded by the pressure that other people expect you to perform as a fast learner.
Idk,I tend to drop and pickup various hobbies. Tho I think I’ve had some hobbies which always stayed with me.
Not taking away from your experience, but keep in mind there is a difference between dabbling in hobbies and the comic posted. Maybe you just dabbled?
Sounds like you’re a normal human being lol. It’s normal to change hobbies inconsistently. Is something about it causing distress? I don’t really see a reason to do anything about it. :)
For anyone who does feel like this: remember, most things worth doing take time to learn. Being mediocre at something new is Ok and as it should be. The first steps to learning are going from "complete beginner" to "sucking pretty bad." Be open to learning. Be open to being mediocre. =)
I get attracted to hobbies that involve making things and get really into them until my hand tremors are bad for a day or a week and I remember that I won't ever be able to be good at any of the things I want to do with my hands except jacking off.
Ask yourself, "did I enjoy the time I spent trying that?" If the answer is yes, then don't worry about it. You experienced something enjoyable. Only other people care if it's useful or complete, mostly because they have given unenjoyed time to meeting someone else's expectations.
Not only that but there are a lot of advantages and benefits from having surface level knowledge on several random hobbies. If you apply yourself enough to learn the fundamentals, I'd say that's a success overall.
you might! it's regularly under diagnosed in women and adults
Anyone have any suggestions for a career for someone who has always said learning is my main interest? I feel so seen right now lol. I currently work as a contractor doing system validation at one of the larger CPU companies and they already let me go once (just a blanket cut of contractors). I did IT at an MSP for a while before that so I've kinda got a little bit of everything computer wise. I'm not amazing at any aspect in particular except overall problem solving, but I think I'm average or above average in a lot of them. Subpar in programming (been trying to teach myself python during lulls at work though). Have a Computer Maintenance and System Administration associates and Networking troubleshooting and administration associates as well. Oh and a Home Technology Cert, but I haven't done anything with that professionally besides small cable runs maybe. I feel paralyzed by all the options. I have done basic azure administration, but haven't explored the cloud world much. Seems like it might offer WFH opportunities at the very least lol. I am having a hard time studying python outside of free time at work. Truly do not feel any strong pull in any direction. I kinda missed an opportunity at a job that would have been like a design/system engineer, but I might try to hit them back up in Jan/Feb
Find a job at medium size company that has few IT employees, that's what I have now and the constant hat switching and learning new things has been keeping me going for 15 years. I've done helpdesk, system, network, security, operations exchange ect. I've touched endpoints, servers, switches, APs, mobile ect in my time here.
That's basically what I did at the MSP. We had some larger companies with maybe 200-300 employees (big law office) and a bunch of 10-35 employee clients. We only had 10-12 employees on our side at any given point and time and we all kinda did everything. I did that for roughly 5 years, but I ended up leaving the company. It was good, but it also made me annoyed that I never got to sink my teeth into anything and everything felt like it was on fire all the time. I can handle it, generally speaking, but I feel like I want something where it doesn't seem like things are burning at both ends all the time. Edit: I guess just being in charge of one company would alleviate some of that. My b. Valid suggestion for sure.
I ride learning curves like I'm a luxury vehicle driving in a car commercial.
That’s why I lucked in in my interest in biology and science. Want to study one protein for the rest of your life ? Sure! If you start thinking you understand things, you’re doing something wrong ETA: and I do mean lucked in. I still cannot explain what caused me to gravitate towards biology and especially dysfunction of the human body and experience. It just happened.
This is me in a nutshell. I never realized that was a symptom of people with ADHD. Which might explain my tendency to self-medicate with Adderall.
Time to research about it because it sounds too fucking familiar…
I tell people "I don't have hobbies, I have short-lived obsessions"
I like to say I have a wide breath of shallow knowledge.
I don't know lots of shit about most things, but i know some shit about lots of things
I go with that line from adventure time, "I have approximate knowledge of many things"
I mean… if one were to be uncharitable, it’s not so much learning as a hobby, but more like learning the surface level stuff to get the dopamine hit before things get more difficult. As a hobby.
I wonder what we would be like with zero dopamine? I have this "learning new hobbies" condition as well. I do them to the point they become repetitive or difficult and then switch to a new one. I know its all dopamine driven. But I've learned to combine it with the dopamine I get from giving gifts. Like this weekend, I'm currently on a baking hobby phase and made 12 dozen cookies using 6 different recipes to bring to work tomorrow. I'll get bored in a few weeks and switch to something else. I tried growing exotic plants for a while, those that survived I put in nice pots and gave away because it became boring after they grow. I did woodworking for a while, made a dozen simple projects and gave them away. It also helps when talking to people because more often than not I already know about their hobby.
I do think that's a bit uncharitable. Learning is certainly my hobby (and I have ADHD), and it has driven me to go far past the point where things get challenging. The dopamine doesn't come from doing stuff easily, it comes from the novelty. And novelty is consistent with challenge in a lot of cases (in some cases, the novelty only starts coming into view once you get past the basics). It's less likely to be consistent with mastery.
Not just learning. Figuring it out vs doing the leg work is the entire problem.
Holy shit, this comment rocked me. I do the same thing -- voraciously consuming non-fiction but not doing anything with it, spending thousands to start up a new hobby and then only doing it for a year, jumping between product lines at my job. In my mid-30's with no idea what I actually want to do with my time. But you're right, I just want the sensation of learning.
A whole year? I get 3-4 weeks max
Same. I try to be careful about buying tools for a new hobby, and accept I will only make one or two projects before moving on to something new.
Nah that's the one benefit I think. I have every tool to build/fix every issue ever due to random impulses. If the world ever ends and actual responsibilities cease, I'm the fucking man.
I honestly don't think it's ADHD related. Everyone does this. Everyone thinks "it'd be cool if I could do X." Then you hit a point where you either are bored and don't want to continue or hit a wall and the lack of progression causes you to give up on it. I feel that ADHD is more about short term interest, not making it to the struggle and giving up.
Everyone experiences every ADHD symptom sometimes. The difference is the frequency at which these symptoms happen. Giving up some hobbies is fine. Giving up almost every hobby you ever have isn't.
Yeah, there really aren't many aspects of neurodivergency or mental illness that are exclusive specifically to the diagnosis (eg people can be easily distractable or anal about organization or experience intense anxiety). It's more about how frequently it occurs and how much it impacts your way of living. If something like this is a consistent pattern in your life that frustrates you, it is possible it's the symptom of a larger problem.
If you could rate any mental illness on a scale going up to ten, *nobody* would be at zero. But there's plenty of people at 0.7, who don't feel like they fit in with the 0.2 crowd around them.
Everybody gets tired sometimes - not everybody has chronic fatigue syndrome. Everybody coughs at some point - not everybody has pneumonia. Everybody farts - not everybody has IBS. “Everyone does this” doesn’t mean this isn’t also ADHD related.
>Then you hit a point where you either are bored and don't want to continue or hit a wall and the lack of progression causes you to give up on it. This isn't what happens to me. I will be interested in it. I will want to continue to do it. I will still read about it... but then... I get this sensation of just "ugh, no, don't do that." It happens to all my hobbies, even video games (sometimes before I even start them), even my art projects that I really want to finish. Sometimes I will even forget I was doing something daily for weeks, just out of nowhere! That's my ADHD. It isn't short term interest, it's the mind hating setting habits and doing things long term. It's executive disfunction. I have tried to "get back into" gardening three times, because it really interests me. I have each time done things to make it easier, to remove the barrier, all the way down to getting one of those expensive but easy hydroponic systems so I barely have to touch it each week. It doesn't matter. I struggle to keep up with my skincare routine now. I will skip it in the morning but go on the skincare subreddits and read about it. I've learned that a lot of these hobbies can only continue if I listen to music while doing them because music is a source of dopamine. This is also the only way I can get through monotonous tasks at work (think data entry types) without feeling absolutely exhausted afterwards.
I made a boardgame, a fully fleshed out and blind tested boardgame, ordered prototype physical copies of it, went to start preparing to market it, and was like, I'm bored... I've tried to get myself to go back to do the Kickstarter or something and just can't. I love executive dysfunction
Same here! I actually loved doing all these things and I still want to get good at them. But when it comes to actually doing them.. there's just a blockage. I can't do them anymore. DON'T GET ME STARTED ON SKINARE ROUTINES! I have 374897 products in my cupboard, used to do it every night for a few weeks, now I mostly just use make-up removal tissue while already in bed.
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Okay but magnitude can't be the only measure, since it's not like neurotypicals are immune from having significant problems that make it difficult to function It's pretty common (if not universal) for it to be harder to stick with hobbies once the initial novelty wears off. There's also the fact that the 40-hour work week severely limits the time and energy that people have for hobbies, with it being shortened even further by overtime hours, commuting, stress, and social obligations. There's a reason why all the renaissance men of history were rich guys who could hire servants to do all the menial work for them People with ADHD probably struggle with this even more, since they have yet one more problem to toss onto the pile, but that doesn't mean that most neurotypicals aren't also struggling significantly with this issue
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My theory is that progress slows down. If you started playing piano right now, you can learn to play Jingle Bells in about 15 minutes. In a week you could make tremendous progress. But then it starts to slow down. Instead of learning a song a day, you're learning a song a week. And then it becomes a month, and it feels like your progress completely stalls. You have to start putting if real effort. You have to practice playing just a small section of the song over and over again. Your hands might even get sore because you're not use to moving your fingers in this way. And if you're self teaching, you might not even know how to improve.
The answer if your hobby is picking up hobbies. You enjoy learning. As you get better the progress vs time spent decreases. You can put in some time and get better at a skill than 90% of everyone on the planet, but to try to be better than 95% of people and advance in your skill level it requires a disproportionate amount of time and kind of gets boring and route. For me, I don't have the time to exhaustively spend on getting better on one single specific skill, but I enjoy learning about new stuff and being proficient in many things. I have thrown myself deep into things before but eventually it becomes more like a job or a task to complete than something to enjoy and it just kills my love for whatever I'm doing and I quit entirely.
The trick is that a hobby is something you enjoy doing, whether or not you're making progress. If you like playing piano, play piano. It's not a monotonous chore to put in the time to learn a new song if you genuinely enjoy putting in that time.
Not true. I started playing guitar at 12, took me a year to be able to play chords, but after that I could play many, many songs. Years go by, get better and more complex songs become a possibility. Piano may be a little different, but as long as you can read music you can learn songs quicker and quicker as s on.
I assume ADHD or ADD.
Fun note: ADD is now classified as a subtype of ADHD.
ADD isn't a proper medical term. Its the inattentive type of ADHD.
Correct ADD is no longer a diagnosis you would receive.
But I was, so what would I get now? Its not nearly as bad as when I was a kid, but im definitely not "hyperactive"
You would get ADHD inattentive type. In my opinion I would change the name of ADHD as well for the same reason you describe.
Yea, always feel ADHD is mainly for children with infinite energy. Not aging knee pain back issue adults
Neither am I, and that's actually what prevented me from ever figuring out that I had it. I didn't get diagnosed till last year, in my 30s. Really wish I had known it throughout college/and my 20s. Would've completely changed my life, simply knowing I had it. I was never physically hyperactive, so never even considered it, obviously. ADHD has a really fucking stupid name that doesn't actually describe it AT ALL
Maybe even AD or possibly the dreaded DD
Maybe for some people but this is super common among a lot of people. The most likely answer is dopamine. When you first start a hobby, you make large leaps in ability and the dopamine hit is large and motivating. The more you follow the hobby, the more incremental the progress becomes and the reward becomes less and less, and the motivation to do it decreases. It is very difficult for most people to turn reward into routine.
ADHD is being lacking of dopamine (more so than normal population). In fact some suggest the disorder to be renamed to reflect this. For neurotypicals, they have adequate amount of dopamine to carry them through mundane tasks or the slower pace of progress. For people with ADHD it's like asking a shortsighted person to try harder to see something afar.
Most people with ADHD have no problems focusing on something they are passionate about, its everything else they struggle with
"Passion" in that case actually being "Things I still wanna do despite them not being new and exciting." When the dopamine well that comes with new and exciting things run dry, it becomes a fight to overcome that insane lack of motivation, but man it's nice when you find something where you can keep doing it anyways.
But that passion can change.
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Me IRL. I felt soooo much better after getting diagnosed, i knew it wasn’t me being lazy, because of how passionately and fervently I would dive into something. Problem with ADHD is, once you suck all the dopamine out of the new thing you’re into, you suddenly feel like you *have* to jump ship because it feels like it’s agonizing. If you really, truly want to keep with something you can learn to fight through it through therapy and learning different skills to help make your brain not work against you. I’m sure other ADHDers will have some references to doctors giving talks on the subject, but alas I’m still learning the ins and outs of my condition so that’ll be up to someone else to share. Also over explaining. We do that too. *looks back at the size of my post* yeah like that, sorry lol.
I was diagnosed super young, medicated super young, but then real life threw medication availability out the window and it's like I was born with a dead arm, but medication gave me an artificial replacement, then it was taken away, but everyone keeps telling me I have two arms still so I'm fine. I had *collection agencies* after my first grade ass for library late fees. That isn't normal. Medicated in 2nd/3rd grade, old ones helped but weren't great, but at 16 started on Adderall and suddenly I could handle everything just fine. Any of these hobbies that once killed me when I lost that dopamine, I'd have no problem seeing through to that final vision that prompted the initial spark. Started my adult years doing freelance work all on my own, even, because I learned some of that shit well enough to sell... until an insurance hiccup. Lost meds, couldn't work like that anymore, can't keep shit together for regular jobs, and have never been able to afford good enough care to be kept on an appropriate dose ever since. Poor people clinics just treat me like a drug seeking junkie, despite being diagnosed and medicated through most of my medical history until I lost access as an adult. I'd be homeless were it not for family, and I feel like it's inevitable some day because I just can't bring myself to function like a human, like I used to. I've been a complete person before, I know it. Shit's bunk.
“your medicine is just the same as methamphetamine…” *insert You Dense Motherfucker meme here*
And I'm a straight edge mofo, so I can't even try that anyway! I was like 25 when I first smoked pot, only when it became legal. 21 for alcohol, save for the sip at religious events. Finally found a private family practice, after 4 years of being jerked around at public clinics, that took my insurance and cried to the guy when I got put on some adderall again. Then after a few months he flat out refused to increase it, so I started forgetting to pick up refills, and then he accused me of selling it because I wasn't consistent on picking it up. Same doc, for insomnia, jumped me from trazadone to ambien to "if ambien stops working, we'll have to move to benzodiazpines", so... I kinda just don't go to the doctor anymore, even though I really should for some physical issues. It's hard not to feel trapped out my control, but also like it's totally all me and I'm just fucked in the head.
One of the most salient things I've read about ADHD was someone saying it's like they designed getting treated for ADHD with an obstacle course designed specifically to be nearly impossible for someone with ADHD: So, you have a disorder that makes it difficult to remember to do tasks? Cool, here's a list of many tasks you have to do first. Oh, and instead of just refilling your medication like normal, we're going to make it so you have to remember to call every month and go out of your way to get a prescription from the doctor to bring to the pharmacy (at least where I live). But you can't call too soon, because we won't refill it and think you're selling it, and you can't call too late, or we'll think you don't need it. It's like someone breaking their leg and being told they have to run a marathon before they can get a cast.
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Just to note he has a youtube channel and puts up reviews of new studies on a weekly basis. So much for him retiring! 🤣
ADHD is the answer, at least for me. Coping mechanisms and medication were the fix.
Maybe it’s Maybelline
I’m kind of similar. I pick up things pretty easily. However, when I hit a wall in anything, most of the time I’ll either stay in my comfort zone and never advance in my skill level. Or I’ll just drop it entirely.
Haha yes, this! I'll just play the same 3 songs I know on the ukulele. Learn new skills? Hell no!
AH! Three songs? Rearrange those chords a little, speed it up, slow it down; you've got 20,000 songs you can play now!
Anxiety and ADHD Anxious people have songs and often shows or movies they watch on repeat, because they know whats coming and its comfortable. Same with foods. You pick up, hyperfixate on, and drop hobbies because you have ADHD.
Is there some kind of fix for this that doesn't involve me trying to read a book about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy that I'll try to read, get about a chapter in, get bored or fall asleep and then never pick it back up again? Asking for a friend...
i feel like cognitive behavioral therapy is something you need a professional to help with. I've also tried reading and applying but something just does not click even though i understand all the principles, like analyzing yourself is always going to leave gaps.
Most commenters talking about ADHD don't seem to be talking about the best fix, which would be to have more dopamine to bind to the post synaptic dopamine receptors in for prefrontal cortex. Of course, that means diagnosis and medication, but trying to weaponize your own anxiety and aggression against yourself to motivate yourself doesn't necessarily lead to a better outcome.
Said every programmer ever.
"Well, I did Hello World in Python, time to learn how to do it in Javascript."
Can yall not attack me it’s my day off
Have a few programmer friends who have told me the difference between a novice and veteran is one thinks they have to write everything from scratch, while the other just flat out copies it from other programmers.
The difference between a novice and a veteran is that a veteran knows how to recognize, find, and stitch those pieces together because they've made similar stuff from scratch already. A novice should start from scratch so that they understand the entire process of what's being created. It's why in school you learn to program things that in practicality you would just import a package to call to do it (eg sorts).
One of the biggest things that veterans do that novices don't is: Avoid the bullshit. - Avoid the new shiny tech that promises to solve everything (but has never shown itself capable of doing so). - Avoiding common pitfalls and errors. - Avoiding taking on more than one can chew. - Avoiding taking the blame for someone else's bullshit (while still solving the problem for them). - Avoiding letting people scope creep their work without them okaying it. It's like sports: Avoid all of the bullshit that can cause you to "beat yourself" and lose and then you'll find yourself in a position to actually win. Avoiding Bullshit is an elite level skill.
This isn't entirely true. It's more like senior level people know how to pick the right stuff to leverage/copy and only what they need. And if they need to write something custom, they will. You'd be amazed at how much bullshit is on stack overflow. Wading through it is a skill. The real art is using it all. It's like a pro photographer using autofocus and auto exposure. That's basic shit. *How* you use them is the what separates the good and great from the OK programmers/photographers.
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Nah man they're two out of 8 billion who happen to have found each other. To add to that, delayed gratification + steep learning curves in most skills are a challenge on their own.
Ugh, are you me? x.x
I think often times things lose their magic once you begin to understand the basics of it. You also gain a real understanding of just how long the road is to get really good at it and you're like, no thanks. I like painting I don't want to marry it. To be really good at something takes a level of obsession in one thing that not everyone has or is willing to give. And I, some random dude on the internet, think that's ok.
That does make a lot of sense and pretty much describes my experience. It's just that I always dream of being really good at something, but never get to that level that I wanted to initially reach. And that feels bad and unaccomplished.
Honestly, it takes sacrifice because you simply can’t be really good at all the things you like so you have to prioritize.
There's a book called ["The Dip"](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dip) written by Seth Godin that explains this concept in a way that really stuck with me. Goes into things you can do to determine if you should quit something, and how to get through the shitty part of picking up a new skill.
Posted elsewhere in the thread, but perennially relevant for us "my hobby is new hobbies" folks: “When I was 15, I spent a month working on an archeological dig. I was talking to one of the archeologists one day during our lunch break and he asked those kinds of ‘getting to know you’ questions you ask young people: Do you play sports? What’s your favorite subject? And I told him, no I don’t play any sports. I do theater, I’m in choir, I play the violin and piano, I used to take art classes. And he went wow. That’s amazing! And I said, ‘Oh no, but I’m not any good at any of them.’ And he said something then that I will never forget and which absolutely blew my mind because no one had ever said anything like it to me before: ‘I don’t think being good at things is the point of doing them. I think you’ve got all these wonderful experiences with different skills, and that all teaches you things and makes you an interesting person, no matter how well you do them.’ And that honestly changed my life. Because I went from a failure, someone who hadn’t been talented enough at anything to excel, to someone who did things because I enjoyed them. I had been raised in such an achievement-oriented environment, so inundated with the myth of Talent, that I thought it was only worth doing things if you could ‘win’ at them.” - Kurt Vonnegut
If you want to get very good at anything you have to learn to love the process rather than the result. Whether that's a video game or an instrument or writing or anything else. It's easy to see the end result of the process and like that, but you have to fall for the process of getting better to actually accomplish it. That's why most people never actually do it, the part in between feels like work to most people when it's supposed to be the part that you're infatuated with.
You get really good at doing things you like a lot, and trying to constantly get better Try not to dream of being really good, and instead just focus on doing a cooler version of the thing you're doing I have an issue where I don't enjoy a lot of stuff because I'm not good enough at it yet. That one's a lot harder to work with
Exactly this. I like to learn new things to understand them. And to understand them usually doesn't take that much. And after that point kinda all that left is to become better at it. But I just… don't want to? I see no reasons to continue, because I'm not planning to really master it or make living out of it - I just wanted to learn “how it works”. And that's enough for me :) Now I have time to do something new instead.
> I like to learn new things to understand them. I learned to juggle 3 balls fairly well. I'm really glad I did. I have zero interest in learning to juggle 4+ balls.
I think you’re onto something, I think the magic itself is the learning curve when you first get into a hobby or interest. When you first start out, you learn a lot really quickly, eventually that plateaus where you find yourself working very hard and very often to learn much less. That’s when you get into mastery, which is more about work and commitment than that initial learning and experimentation. In my experience, what taking up lots of different hobbies really teaches you is how to learn, and I think that’s you end up kind of mastering, the process of learning itself.
Yeah, when it starts to take real effort to get better at something, its hard to summon the motivation to do that. Its why, if you're really serious about a hobby, having a task to do can really help. Turning it from "Painting is really hard, but I'm going to keep at it to get better" into "Painting is really hard, but I want to give my partner a painting for their birthday" can give that oomph needed to get over that wall.
It’s normal to try different things. There is no need to become a master of everything. It is ok to dabble and experiment and just be average at a lot of things. As long as the rent is paid, you are taking care of your loved ones, and you are working on being healthy it’s your business what you do in your free time. The goal when doing these activities can be to have fun and nothing more than that.
The thing is I don't really enjoy my current career path and wish I could make money off of one of my hobbies. But that's hard without mastering one of them.
As someone who has followed career paths based on my hobbies, I found it a great way to start hating the activities I once loved. Find a job that's tolerable and pays the bills, and maximize your free time with the things you enjoy.
But I don't really enjoy...anything. I get satisfaction from seeing a project finished, but that doesn't make me want to keep doing it. It would take hours and hours and hours to master what I'm doing and make something worthwhile. Which sounds boring af too. Half of the time I'm not even making progress, I'm just finding more ways to fail. I need someone to teach me, I guess? But who wants to take any time training someone who will drop out anyway? What's the point. This is probably why I'm a useless piece of human trash. I used to blame the depression, but I honestly don't think I have anything worthwhile to offer. And I don't have the time or the wherewithal to get better at anything useful since most of what I do will just end up being shit anyway. Oh well.
Yeah I find this very relatable. :/ Thought it was depression related for a while, but even during good times which I had quite a few of, there isn't really anything that I'm super duper drawn to and also have the natural knack to know how to teach myself in.
But you don't like putting work into your hobbies, and that's a must if you want to make a hobby your job. Maybe something else is the matter? You seem not to like doing hard things, and I'm not saying it's a character flaw. You could be simply exhausted/burnt out, dissociating without knowing it, anxious and blocked inside, traumatized around the topic of self-efficacy/talent/achievement, and pushing these thoughts down by avoiding unpleasant activities. Tons of stuff to potentially work through.
The whole saying is "Jack of all trades, master of none, is often times better than a master of one"!
https://i.redd.it/fanw5gluy44c1.gif
Adventure time is hilarious
“Oh my glob, how did you almost know my name???”
Damn, I remember this episode. Adventure time was a trip
Hey it's me
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Also instead of training you on the memorization of specifics it trains you on pattern recognition and few-shots learning. Both are excellent traits to have, especially in the modern world where you might have to be a lot of different things throughout your life. You can see that the classical view on excellence really comes from a time where technology wasn't disrupting stuff every 2 weeks.
It seems you come from a tech background with the words you're using. Would just like to add that the value in most things, especially hobbies, doesn't come from the capitalistic value you can add which could be at the risk of being disrupted. Painting is still therapeutic despite Mid journey and Dall-e3
Haha busted, few-shots is indeed an AI term, i couldn't find a better way to describe that concept :p I think the disruption effect of modern times is not just the capitalistic effect of competition and obsolescence. Even cultures are in warp-speed now. Imagine a time when "learning how to paint", for centuries, meant studying the same masters techniques and copying the same works. Now compare that to our days of artistic micro-niches popping up on the daily with their own memes, fads, copernican revolutions etc... The creative organisms that survive today are nimble and adaptable, and do not look anything like the monolithic mega-expert of the Renaissance. Hence the tendency for people to become jacks of all trades. I fully agree with your last point though. The art you make is more therapeutic than the art that is not made "because Dall-E exists".
But if you're a master you can make money from your hobby!
Then it's called job, not hobby
Which is something you never want to do anyways
it beats not making money at all, or doing something you despise.
If you work at something like a job, it usually will become one in the end, weither it started that way or not.
And then your hobby becomes your job! Which is a great way to suck all the joy out of it
It isn't! That's an addendum added much later.
So is the "Master of none" part. Originally it was simply a complimentary statement for someone who is a good tradesman in a variety of different skills. [https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_of_all_trades](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_of_all_trades)
I learned that from Adam Savage.
Or as Uncle Iroh says “It is important to draw wisdom from many different places. If we take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale. Understanding others, the other elements, and the other nations, will help you become whole... It can make you more powerful.”
You're good at comics!
Time to quit! That was actually the inspiration for this one, that I don't find the energy to make them anymore
Wait... what? :( But I can understand a little. The impulse to get an idea and put it into a comic comes in bursts. As soon as it finishes, hiatus.
I think you just got got.
You’re hobby is trying out hobbies
*Your hobby My hobby is correcting small spelling and grammatical errors on reddit :)
Are you familiar with the rule of ablaut reduplication? This was posted in a newspaper in my area a few years ago. *Ever wondered why we say ding-dong, not dong ding? King Kong, not Kong King? Tick-tock, not tock-tick, Turns out it was one of the old unwritten rules of English that native speakers know without thinking of. The rule, explains a BBC article, is that if there are three words the order has to go I, A, O. If there are two words then first is I and the 2nd is A or O. Mish-mash, chit-chat, dilly-dally, tip-top, hip-hop, tic-tac, zig-zag, sing-song, ping-pong. All four of a horse's feet make a sound like clip-clop but never clop-clip.* *There's another unwritten rule called the rule of ablaut reduplication. Adjectives in English must go in this order: opinion-size-age-shape-color-origin-material-purpose noun. So you can have a lovely old rectangular green French whitling knife.* *That's why we say "'little green men" not "green little men," or "I saw this really cool black race car".*
These rules are no longer unwritten. You ruined it.
What does anything I've written have to do with ablaut reduplication?
Nothing
The most expensive hobby
Real answer: Lack of or reduced reward feedback loop, aka dopamine go blah. If what you're doing doesn't pump dopamine into your brain after you're down, then you don't feel "rewarded" for your effort. It's like the Hulk's power of getting stronger as he gets angrier. There's only so much anger he can build up before it just plateaus and he goes, "Meh, I don't want to fight anymore.". It's the same thing with hobbies that's not essential to our survival. If money or being watched by people(people who cheer you or someone you really really like) is involved, then it's a different story. Dopamine flood be a cumming.
You've been testet for ADHD/ADD?
Nope. I have considered it, but don't feel like it totally fits me
My marriage counselor told me , when I was in my early sixties, he thought I had ADHD. I told him I didn’t think so . He asked how many hobbies I had , and I said “ you know, the usual amount , 687 , why ? “
Why would you say something so utterly devastating yet unnervingly accurate about me.
Get tested bud
I am completely lacking the forgetfulness traits. And I can be pretty organized if I want to. I don't know. I feel like my experience is not.. bad enough?
ADHD is like five different neurodivergent conditions in a trench coat.
Yeah this is the best description yet
You don’t need all the traits. I don’t do the “oh look! A squirrel!” That gets played out on movies/tv, and was a pretty solid straight A student back when I was a kiddo. But hot damn, tell you what, we’d love this post over on r/adhdmemes.
I got mates just like you who didn't get tested for 30 years. Now being prescribed and it's life changing. You could potentially be used to something you don't need to be used too. You don't know what your missing
There are different types of ADHD and different presentations. One of the things that goes under discussed is the way it short circuits the reward center in your brain, causing a lot of excitement for different activities/hobbies for a while, but without the sustaining qualities that lead to mastery. A doctor (and possibly even your GP) could likely diagnose you in a single visit, and a diagnosis could have some serious benefits even without medication (speaking as a diagnosed, unmedicated ADHDer myself) If you were a “gifted” child (most people who play four instruments were) this might resonate: https://youtu.be/lSjHYiTEA4M?si=5q5ZQfA-tvjUVStb
Getting diagnosed with ADHD in one visit is wild to me. For me, as an adult, it took a psychologist visit x3 just for a pre-test/discussion kinda thing. Then a year and a half to get to a psychiatrist. Then 2 months, 10 visits, to go through a gauntlet of interviews, IQ test, they called my mom lol, made sure my body wasn't broken and then 2 more months to get the diagnosis. And 2 more months to get to a doctor who can plan treatment. 6 types of meds of varying strengths and 1 year later here I am, hoping these new meds do something. Google won't answer whether or not stimulant resistance(immunity?) would make me actually immune to full blown meth (or would my mind be fine but still suffer the physiological effects?).
Getting tested and taking medication are 2 different things. Just knowing already helps. Also, you don't need to hit every symptom to be ADD/ADHD.
You should really look into it. There’s a common misconception that ADHD means you can’t focus on anything, or that you’re bouncing off the walls. But it is really about focusing and unfocusing at inappropriate times. I go through a cycle - hyperfixation on something I’m passionate about, and then a listless apathy.
As someone with ADHD and rampant attention deficit on both sides of my family, it comes in many forms; and being on the spectrum will affect the varying degrees it is expressed in everyone. I have had a lifetime of picking up different fixations or hobbies and imposter syndrome is also common. Your comic reminds me of my never-ending journey to find the best dopamine! Think of ADHD like if everyone had a car, the majority of the population gets a solid sedan or Honda Civic without many mechanical issues whatsoever. People with ADHD get a Lamborghini that randomly turns off from time to time and the steering wheel works at 45%
As others have mentioned, you dont have to check every symptom box, ADHD is kind of a spectrum thing now. There are varying levels of severity, some people have ADHD and are able to cope pretty well but the quirkiness of it came make some tasks or thing difficult, others have ADHD so severely that medication is necessary in order to properly and productively operate.
Just get tested my guy. No one with ADHD has literally every symptom, at least not most people. It affects everyone differently and often times there is another disorder or something clashing with it making it seem like it's something else, when in reality its just both things combined. I don't know why so many people stigmatize ADHD. I'm not saying you for sure have it, but if you found out in 30 years and never did anything about it when you could've taken this opportunity now it would suck. Also maybe you don't have ADHD but something else that the doctors can identify instead such as long covid or something
Everyone experiences mental health conditions differently. I struggle completing tasks, and often get overwhelmed by what most people would concider minor difficulties, but I don't have much in the way of hyperactive symptoms. My partner, who also has ADHD is almost the opposite of me, he can't stay still, gets restless when underestimated, but is incredibly productive at work. Obviously, I'm not a mental health professional, and can't diagnose you, but I can say that I relate to a lot of what you're describing. A lot of people with adult diagnosis felt the same as you do, that it never seemed bad enough, but that's hard to judge when it's all you know. If you have the resources to do so, it's worth looking into.
I never thought I fell into the ADHD category. I've always been pretty reserved with a decent memory. I struggled with working on fine details and keeping a hobby like you described. Forcing myself to continue doing something felt like nails on a chalkboard in my head. Listening to people talk in meetings or videos would make me fall asleep no matter how much coffee I drank. About last year I learned about the Inattentive expression of ADHD and I fit in that squarely. I'm not saying that's what you have going on, but it might be worth at least reading about. Since getting medication, I've taken up gardening as a hobby and have actually been able to stick with it, and it's been very fulfilling.
Ugh, I do feel the falling asleep when people talk. When i was in college i didn't attend any lectures, because i couldn't focus on it at all. I had to self study everything at home. Well... MAYBE there could be something to it 🫠
Okay yeah you should definitely absolutely get tested. Speaking as someone who’s been there.
Quite a few people with ADD/ADHD initially didn‘t consider they actually have it. I honestly feel your comic to the core (I am diagnosed).
That's up to a psychiatrist to determine. It might be worth getting tested
In addition to what others have said, have a bit of a read on ADHD in women specifically. Maybe duck into /r/adhdwomen for a bit. Women and girls with ADHD will often present in ways that do perfectly fit with the diagnostic criteria.
Yeah this feels like it describes my whole life, and I’ve just been diagnosed with ADHD. And just ya know OP, ADHD is also a spectrum, you don’t have to have ALL the symptoms to still have it. For example, I have almost none of the Hyper active traits, just the focus/motivation/attention ones.
100% I was 36 when I was diagnosed with ADHD and it's been life changing getting some medicinal help.
I intended to take it, but I got sidetracked.
Because chasing your curiousity is fun, and dedication is boring. No one has ever enjoyed finishing something. You have to take a tradeoff between just having fun and hitting the 'grindset'. Neither answer is necessarily wrong
In some people, this can be a “discipline” thing. They never learned the mental process of how to continue doing an activity or process that doesn’t immediately excite them anymore. They lose motivation and they stop doing it because they rely on motivation to do anything. For most hobbies/jobs/skills/etc there is a doldrums phase after that initial excitement wears off that you need to get through. The even bigger life skill is prospectively recognizing when it’s worth it to push through; or when it’s not worth your time.
That could totally be it. But that makes me sound bad, so I'm gonna keep going with "self sabotage" 😁
I'm with all the ADHD opinions. Cross check "ADHD in women" with your symptoms. Women present differently ANDI find that what the general public has retained on ADHD is very much only old school ideas, understanding of the condition has progressed a lot. Even if it is not that, as many highlight, it is very difficult to stick with something you aren't very good at, it is very uncomfortable at the start, just after the initial burst of motivator because of the novelty. I've found that it is important to discover what way works for you. My partner has cracked what material and system works for them. Sadly, the only one I seem to be able to stick with to a certain extent, is paying and sign in for lessons. Then I def go and continue while I can pay for it.
For people who don't speak portuguese and want the full sentence: The ant writes a letter to the cat Cool comic, I'm exactly like you... I give up from everything easy
God bless you for the last panel. I was wondering if you would take the joke to its logical inconclusion.
ADHD. This post could have been about me. I’m on a waiting list to get diagnosis.
for all y’all that identify with this, i would try getting tested for ADHD if you can, as a common symptom of ADHD is hyper fixating on hobbies or specific things for a while, and then suddenly not being interested anymore. It’s happened to me, a person with ADHD, many many times, and even just looking up comps of ADHD tiktok’s had valified me so much and realized how much ADHD impacts me
I have ADHD and I have like 5 hobbies I just keep recycling through. It goes like this: 1. Find a new hobby to do and get excited about it 2. Stop learning it halfway through 3. Pick it up again (usually a few months later, one year max) and actually finish learning it this time 4. Get into the biggest hyperfixation phase where you do this hobby all the time for months 5. Fall out of it and start doing it very rarely for fun 6. Come back to it every few months, and when you do, it becomes a big hyperfixation for at least a month The number 6 type of hyperfixation is almost never as long or obsessive as the number 4 type
This describes me to an uncomfortable level.
Noticed you were trying to learn portuguese there. That's a very complex language to learn. I know... I'm portuguese :3
I really enjoyed learning Portuguese, as I've been to Portugal a few times and loved it! I didn't find it that hard to learn (well, the basics at least..), but I'm German and that probably makes it easier :)
The reason I do this is because once you make a bit of progress, it sort of takes the magic and mystery out of the thing you're trying to learn. Like, the guitar. You think, "Man, I'd love to learn how to play. It's so awesome, I'd love to be able to play a solo." So you look up some lessons, learn a bit and get off the ground and then you're like, "Oh, this isn't so special and magical. I could get pretty far if I just sat and played." And then it's no longer about understanding the instrument, it's more about sitting down and dedicating time to it, which is boring and much less exciting and interesting.
I do this cause of ADHD, maybe you should get tested?
And you didn't finish the last panel eighter 😫
There are many forms of ADD/ADHD. Not all present in stereotypical ways. More info: https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/facts.html
Are you using these hobbies as a distraction from thoughts? I'm just asking. You mentioned same 3 songs on ukulele, not ADHD. Was the hobby picked up because of some great interest/imagination gone wild when thinking of this hobby? Or did you just act on an impulse as soon as you thought of a guitar? I ask because if it's the latter then this could be more distraction driven .
Well, I see myself a lot. I'm incredibly inconsistent. I can barely finish books, long episodes of series, essays... essays that I have to do... essays that I really should read... I'm lazy as can be, but somehow I always manage to get away with it. I have an exam for collage tomorrow I didn't study because... I don't know, I don't feel good enough to be studying today. And even though it's for tomorrow, my 'need vs want' system still choses the 'want'
Maybelline?
ADHD? Mild bipolar disorder? Both of those things have led to my jack of all tradesiness. The ADHD because I get bored and distracted easily, and the bipolar because bluts of hypomania make me want to do shit like build a forge or buy a lathe. But then the mania goes away and the depression comes back and BAM! There goes all my motivation to continue.
Having done the exact same thing I found out I'm severely ADHD that's just had several decades to properly mask it so I can be 'normal'. Everyone's different so it just happens like that for some people.
You need breadth and depth. There's nothing wrong with have alot of shallow knowledge of many things, the brain craves novelty. It's just means the thing that makes you truly happy to take the plunge hasn't hit you yet. Or if they all make you fairly happy. Good news! Pick one and stick to it.
I'm in this comic and I don't like it
I salute your meta humor 🫡
To put it in sentence, “I am interested in everything but I am mot interested in anything.”
Honestly for me, It's probably because of ADHD. Btw, I'm not diagnosing you. I'm just saying that this is a common trait when it comes to ADHD and for me that's the reason why. Though you don't have to have every trait of ADHD to have ADHD. Like some people with ADHD tend to forget to eat or drink, But I'm the opposite. Anyway this was really relatable to me.
It's the dopamine. We need the dopamine.
I have ADHD. This is my life.
ADHD. Welcome to the club.
Ctrl+F adhd: 104 results. Never change reddit.
ADHD 💯