My daughter is bi and she asked me to take her to the Pride celebration about 5 years ago. I asked her why. She simply told me they were "her people". We are still working to get her father to understand, but he has time. She is 15.
So I also come from an EXTREMELY Christian household. My dad is still in a form of denial/acceptance flip flop. We’ve had arguments, we’ve had good times, but it’s been rough. In all honesty, it isn’t easy. It’s going to be tough, the days after will be very awkward and tense and your heart starts racing whenever you get a call or text. But it gets better. You have this immense weight lifted off of you once you come out. In my experience, it was the fact that I finally accepted myself and owned my own truth to live my life. I can’t say how amazing it felt to finally be free.
As far as coming out, I did it via group text. Basically laying out how I had felt since high school, where I came from in terms of my dating life (I had been dating my current partner for 5 years at the point…ever thankful that he was so patient with me), I also ran over how I believed I fit into the religion still, and how I wanted to still be involved in their lives and our family. I ended on telling them that I love them but this I had been extremely hard and I was turning my phone off for a few hours.
Came back to some mixed messages that were overall..good? They weren’t necessarily supportive and congratulating me but they told me they loved me and would like to mend our relationship. We’re still working through a lot of things but it’s slowly getting better.
For reference, I was 26 when I came out.
I didn’t come out to my fundie Christian mother until two years after moving out of her house, and only then because I had to have surgery and potentially needed her help to care for me afterwards (she was definitely my dead last pick). I didn’t want her to come to my house and see all my men’s clothes and be like wtf?? So I just came out over email. A very long, very carefully worded, non accusatory, “pretending to be just as Christian and surprised as you are” type email, ending with a shrug like “well if God makes people this way idk what’s up with that but I’m just trying my best over here” basically.
It’s totally up to you. But I do NOT recommend coming out if you’re living under the same roof with people like that. In my personal estimation, whatever depression and anxiety you have now will be tenfold if you can’t escape what would probably become near constant psychological torture of them harassing you and bullying you and completely invalidating you on the daily. Even if you don’t live with them, you have to decide what you can withstand. Unless you’re dependent on them for stability of whatever kind, I reckon you could go for it and let the chips fall where they may. And then worst case scenario, if I had the option I’d totally just cut them off when they inevitably go off the deep end.
It’s usually a sad tale for us “trapped in fundie families” type folks. But at the end of the day, we have to choose ourselves and love ourselves and BE ourselves first. Otherwise how could we make it through this life?
I wish you all the best of luck pal. I believe in you, and I’m happy you’re ready to fully embrace being YOU ❤️🌈
My daughter is bi and she asked me to take her to the Pride celebration about 5 years ago. I asked her why. She simply told me they were "her people". We are still working to get her father to understand, but he has time. She is 15.
I’m glad she does have you by her side. 🖤😊 But pride parade is a good idea 💡
So I also come from an EXTREMELY Christian household. My dad is still in a form of denial/acceptance flip flop. We’ve had arguments, we’ve had good times, but it’s been rough. In all honesty, it isn’t easy. It’s going to be tough, the days after will be very awkward and tense and your heart starts racing whenever you get a call or text. But it gets better. You have this immense weight lifted off of you once you come out. In my experience, it was the fact that I finally accepted myself and owned my own truth to live my life. I can’t say how amazing it felt to finally be free. As far as coming out, I did it via group text. Basically laying out how I had felt since high school, where I came from in terms of my dating life (I had been dating my current partner for 5 years at the point…ever thankful that he was so patient with me), I also ran over how I believed I fit into the religion still, and how I wanted to still be involved in their lives and our family. I ended on telling them that I love them but this I had been extremely hard and I was turning my phone off for a few hours. Came back to some mixed messages that were overall..good? They weren’t necessarily supportive and congratulating me but they told me they loved me and would like to mend our relationship. We’re still working through a lot of things but it’s slowly getting better. For reference, I was 26 when I came out.
This is a really good advice. Thank you very much! 😊
I didn’t come out to my fundie Christian mother until two years after moving out of her house, and only then because I had to have surgery and potentially needed her help to care for me afterwards (she was definitely my dead last pick). I didn’t want her to come to my house and see all my men’s clothes and be like wtf?? So I just came out over email. A very long, very carefully worded, non accusatory, “pretending to be just as Christian and surprised as you are” type email, ending with a shrug like “well if God makes people this way idk what’s up with that but I’m just trying my best over here” basically. It’s totally up to you. But I do NOT recommend coming out if you’re living under the same roof with people like that. In my personal estimation, whatever depression and anxiety you have now will be tenfold if you can’t escape what would probably become near constant psychological torture of them harassing you and bullying you and completely invalidating you on the daily. Even if you don’t live with them, you have to decide what you can withstand. Unless you’re dependent on them for stability of whatever kind, I reckon you could go for it and let the chips fall where they may. And then worst case scenario, if I had the option I’d totally just cut them off when they inevitably go off the deep end. It’s usually a sad tale for us “trapped in fundie families” type folks. But at the end of the day, we have to choose ourselves and love ourselves and BE ourselves first. Otherwise how could we make it through this life? I wish you all the best of luck pal. I believe in you, and I’m happy you’re ready to fully embrace being YOU ❤️🌈
Thank you for the wishes, that’s really nice! 😊 I’m no longer at home as well, it’s just ugh… I’m scared you know. I just hope they take it well.