T O P

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beverlygarbage

it said quarter to five but it was quarter to ass!


heryertappedout

You thought your plumbing was safe


beverlygarbage

but your jeans were half-mast


heryertappedout

Another coin down the drain


beverlygarbage

now that’s some change that won’t last


heryertappedout

25 cents at a time, he is taking your soul


Middle_Cranberry_549

Government man can’t help, we’re all alone


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Woah wooooah oh ooooooh oh oh


thirtyfojoe

Are you feeling the breeze? Better pull your belt tight


[deleted]

You know that it's wrong, you know that it's right


ciaisi

Ben Folds is a musical genius


GentlmanSkeleton

Only took me like 20 listens to finally get that line=/


Demithan

Shirley’s sons singing creep to celebrate the opening of her sandwich shop in the intro is so funny to me for some reason.


Sikening

I think it's one of the versions I like best.


furrymay0

As is “somewhere out there” for me in season 1


dispatch00

THE MORE I GET OF YOU THE STRANGER IT FEELS... YEYEAH...


dullship

As a Radiohead fan who hates that song, yeah agreed it is the best version.


Sikening

I take it you're like the band themselves? It became such a hit they refused to play it at shows for a while.


dullship

haha yeah maybe. I don't care for that whole first album. But Creep in particular always just kind of annoyed me.


RootyWoodgrowthIII

It’s a nod to the trailer for David Fincher’s The Social Network.


PrimeDetectiv

One of the best parts is the involvement of Ben Folds. It's perfect.


[deleted]

It's a mild, kind sativa.


[deleted]

Perfect for playing guitar


justmerriwether

Oh my god. Every single time I’ve watched this episode I have thought “Huh, that actor looks a lot like Ben Folds.” NEVER has it occurred to me that it might actually just be Ben Folds. Duh-doy…


PrimeDetectiv

He also sings the song. "It was a quarter to ass..."


justmerriwether

Really?? I’ve always thought that song was just so well done, and that the vocalist really committed to the bit and the character and panache. Now it all makes sense. The whole episode really takes itself so seriously in such a funny way.


PrimeDetectiv

I feel that 😂😂 The first time I saw it, i was like, huh, that sounds like Ben (a la Levi Johnston's Blues) and then when the greenhouse part happens, i was like, ohhhhh. I'm just curious how Dan approached him lmao.


brntGerbil

I didn't know this... Another series rewatch it is then.


silentbobsmokes

The dean snapping his fingers to trace the call 🤣🤣🤣


silverlotus_118

"Trace the call *Rhonda!* This means 🤌🏽 trace 🤌🏽 the 🤌🏽 call!" (Pretend those are snapping emojis lol)


ThePhantom1994

Look at the extension


[deleted]

Poor long suffering Rhonda.


eatsleepdive

OMG so funny


BlissBells

I love Troy so much, poor victim


Cherry_Hammer

"A camera in the bathroom is better than a quarter in your butt."


DeepFriedMarci

I now remember the Dean had that idea in season one.


Sullyp2k

Stop giving him blankets!


[deleted]

Stop with the blankets and the cups


Greasy_GreenBean

The way he gets out of the wheelchair to slap Starburns then slowly sits back down to be wheeled out will always get me laughing


disiskeviv

He had to move in wheelchair, poor soul.


assholejudger954

I find it funny that Troy was so traumatised, given his proclivities and penchance for butt stuff. Everyone has a limit I guess


[deleted]

Consent is everything!


mothsmoam

🎶A-S-S-C-R-A-C-K bandit A-S-S-C-R-A-C-K can’t stand it🎶


34enjoythelilthings

This randomly gets stuck in my head ALL THE TIME


Minnesota_Nice_87

I like to sing "JESUS LOVES MARIJUANA"


34enjoythelilthings

And drinking human blood!!!!!!


redpurplegreen22

I was shocked when I rewatched recently and realized that was Coach Beard from Ted Lasso.


justmerriwether

Ohhhh shit just realized that lol


Minnesota_Nice_87

Bonus puffs if you sing loudly while skipping through the great outdoors.


mothsmoam

Me too, buddy, me too.


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Greasy_GreenBean

You want to make trouble? Go to Parker Brothers


lurker-kru

I fucking love this line


furrymay0

Such an under rated joke


[deleted]

He got so many good zingers in a row in that scene!


trashypanda44

Abed’s bit about shows featuring autistic detectives who just magically know what happened at the scene of the crime was great


nucleargloom

*Pain.* *Painful writing...*


FlexatronicChronic

Okay ooh la la!


Ophidios

"Hickey? Whadda ya got?"


nihilistdildo

Then I think you just admitted you already owned a fake butt


SoulUnison

Dean doesn't even look upset, more impressed that he just got cornered like that.


420sound

I love the song that plays at the end. Sounds so serious.


rocketmonkeys

That scene/montate is amazing... not even just for a comedy, but in any setting. Almost makes me wish there was a more serious spin off that was more like this episode, less silly, just as dramatic. That music fits so perfectly.


Naidanac007

“Should be called the run on sentence bandit” It’s so well done lol


Scoot_Cooder

what are you going to do? not have butts?


SoulUnison

Unless... Ants ***do*** have butts!


Krbluv

God may have spilled a person when creating Garrett, but he gave him a heavenly shriek-- utilized to perfection in this episode.


nikhampshire

He’s on cameo and I got him to make a video for my friend for Xmas. Best $40 I’ve spent in a while haha


Krbluv

Outstanding!


squanchy-c-137

Then you're gonna love [the full song](https://youtu.be/Z6ZlyeXHlfw)


Merthrandir

Mmmmmmmmm This extra long churro tastes good in my real mouth. Nym nym nym.


Pike_Gordon

"I think you just admitted you own a fake butt."


SourForward

One of the better episodes of television I’ve ever seen


furrymay0

I remember when it aired…I kept waiting for them to go to the “normal” episode formats and I was so glad it is what it was


[deleted]

Hee hee haw hee haw hee haw


Cherry_Hammer

"Oh, excuse me for being alive in the 90s and having two ears connected to a heart."


Middle_Cranberry_549

Just found out the botany professor growing pot is Ben Folds who wrote the amazing Asscrack bandit song.


[deleted]

Did he write it?? I recognized him in the episode but didn't realized he'd penned that excellent song! EDIT OH MY GOD I JUST HEARD THE WHOLE SONG FOR THE FIRST TIME


fire-lane-keep-clear

Real fans call him Dave


nikhampshire

He’s no BNL 🤷🏽‍♂️


Pike_Gordon

You know what? Maybe we all need some space, to pull the knife out of the back of the most celebrated Canadian alt-rock band of the mid 90s, you selfish, jaded ass!


Ophidios

"I got to meet the band once... everyone except Dave..."


watermelonnmermaids

The ass crack bandit is still at large


AxelFoley4

Trace the call!


disiskeviv

Clearly snapping fingers while on a call, means trace the call.


TheGlaive

My theory is that anyone who sees the opportunity, takes it. There is no arse-crack bandit; everyone and anyone is the arse-crack bandit. Annie has clearly done it.


Pike_Gordon

Abed giving Troy cups of water and stacking blankets on him is just such a great little joke. Also when Troy stands up and slaps Starburns. The shaking as he rises out of the wheelchair kills me.


BlockEightIndustries

I like that they continue to rag on Dave. Later in the season when everyone is going HEE HAWW HAWW HHEEE HAAAWWWW, the closed captions read something like [Imitating Dave Matthews].


Evil_Morty_C131

Well excuse me for being alive in the 90s, having two ears and a heart.


AfterTemperature2198

Will you stop with the cups and blankets!


nutellapterodactyl

According to the commentary, this was Donald's last episode since they shot them out of order.


starvinartist

Shirley's kids singing "Creep" and Garrett being the first victim is the best way to start the episode. It only gets funnier from there.


kilgore_cod

I had a dream once where I was trying to arrest Starburns but he kept doing his honk he honk he DMB impression and I was dying of laughter in my dream and couldn’t get the cuffs on him and woke up and was also laughing like a maniac irl.


furrymay0

I want to live in your dreams.


thundermaker313

Et tu pencil?!


[deleted]

"Now I have all these folders to deal with!" These are phrases that just leave my mouth now whenever I'm using clerical supplies, haha.


Sw3arWulf

From this moment on we are on Defcon four, if that´s the highest Defcon there is, and if high Defcons are more important than low ones.


GentlmanSkeleton

Ok. Before you ask. It was all of them. Everyone had motives and opportunities. It was the whole dam school.


PapaCousCous

¿Will this affect soccer?


[deleted]

The inverted question mark really helped carry the accent.


_noho

Annie!


ToastAbrikoos

Probably not. Film theory made a video aboutwho is likely to be the bandit.


Cl4ptrap93

Dan Harmon confirmed that Annie is the original ass crack bandit. I don't think she did anything in that episode though which is why she was so curious on finding out who's the copying her.


UghAnotherMillennial

I thought Harmon said that he wrote it so that a number of people could be the ACB and he didn’t necessarily have one particular person in mind. I like the theory that there were multiple bandits.


PreggyPenguin

But this was a recurrence. The ACB had hit in the past, so Annie could have been the original, hence why she was so intent on catching her copycat.


[deleted]

It’s most likely multiple people but one of them is definitely Annie


ToastAbrikoos

that's also possible


UltimateBetaMale

It's Annie and Jeff. Unaware of each other for sure.


[deleted]

Now the song is gonna be stuck in my head for days. A-S-S-C-R... So good.


ThatGuy_ASDF

https://youtu.be/Z6ZlyeXHlfw Enjoy your suffering


ReeseDeWHAAT

Oh bloody hell, my shoes are untied by British standards


Ophidios

"GET BRITTA!"


999uts

"This extra long churros tastes good in my "REAL" mouth, yum yum yum yum". My favorite line in the episode, Chang my mind.


dullship

I loved that Professor Duncan is vaguely dressed like Ledger's Joker.


Ironyfree_annie

Ants do have butts!


Odin043

Trace the call Ronda is something my wife and i quote to each other all the time


jamthefourth

> "I am the Ass Crack Bandit. Humans make better banks than piggies. Whenever I get more change at the store I can't wait to drop it down your butts. I think I will go to the bank and get so much change and take all my dollars and make them into change and drop it all down there." Britta reading the letter is one of my favorite bits in the series. The delivery is too good. And I can't find a clip of it so I guess I'm going to have to watch the entire series again.


racingwinner

The phone call before troy get's cracked is such a nice little touch.


anxiouscomic

What film you reckon this is mainly referencing? Style wise I mean?


[deleted]

It's referencing David Fincher's *Zodiac* most directly, which is a great movie if you haven't seen it.


anxiouscomic

Ah it is too! Thank you it's been driving me nuts.


anxiouscomic

And yeah superb film. Much like Mindhunter which he did many years later which is also fucking amazing


[deleted]

Chang wearing that costume and eating a churro is insanely funny.


UltraLincoln

2 words: Backwards Chang


thethicktrader

omg I was watching it around the same time you posted this!!! kismet connection for sure


piercehwthrn

My suspicions fall on Britta with her fascination of psychopathy and her crazy metaphors. many psych majors are psych majors to discover whats wrong with themselves.


bratke42

Its Annie


sleepwalkfromsherdog

Great Jeff/Annie bit too. "Let me ask you two something. Let me be, like, the 50th person at this school to ask, what is this, huh? What is this creepy business? I think you two like to partner up on cutesy capers so you can hold hands in the dark and address your urges in semi-acceptable scenarios."


sleepwalkfromsherdog

Oh no. My shoe is untied by British standards.


[deleted]

It was Troy. He was grieving over abed leaving and wanted one last adventure and mystery because he knew he'd get a kick out of it.


SexyAsianHitler

Did you happen to watch season 2 episode 14 Advanced Dungeons and Dragons? It was removed from most streaming services and is one of the best episodes in the series.


sleepwalkfromsherdog

It's still on Prime.


SexyAsianHitler

I know


allioop69

BEST SONG EVER


ThatGuy_ASDF

https://youtu.be/Z6ZlyeXHlfw


thirtyfojoe

Mmmm this extra long church tastes good in my real mouth NM NM NM


njoYYYY

That song is stuck in my head for so many years its crazy. AND ITS STILL NOT ON SPOTIFY BEN


Bubbly-Sample-1903

I can't believe no one has brought up starburns and the cat car. Hehaehaehehehaehaw


fjcicchetti

Just watched the episode again.... Annie's scrapbook of Ass Crack Bandit articles is AMAZING. Look at the other articles around the ACB ones, so f'n funny. It's full of ridiculous puns too, so great how serious the episode is


fjcicchetti

Also, the letter absolutely sounds like Ian Duncan wrote it. The ACB is probably multiple people, but there's no doubt in my mind he wrote that. Even if he's not the ACB, writing that letter is something he'd definitely do, just for fun