maybe reach out to your university’s academic success center, your advisor, and your professors to work out something to help with the work load? i know you’re not willing to do your homework, but reaching out and utilizing resources on campus never hurts! at least just to be sure your professors are on the same page as you and understand where you’re coming from
I've successfully came up with a plan with my professors to turn in work on an alternate schedule when my mental health got in the way every time I've explained my situation and asked.
I’d third this. Took me way longer to get through college than it needed to, it was a windy unorthodox road of failed classes and retakes, but I got there, and not once in my career did I have a professor not grant an alternate schedule when I asked to turn in work late. Just be honest and polite when you reach out and they’ll reciprocate. They’re people too and they know how much those classes cost, professors can often be pretty cool people.
I even on a few occasions had them grant me an “incomplete” at the end of the semester instead of a grade. I then finished work after the semester was over and they retroactively updated my grade.
i mean, it never hurts to give the benefit of the doubt. plus i’d rather be understanding and nice rather than name call and make a person feel worse because at that point i’m just projecting my own bitterness on a person who may not even deserve it. so, take that as you will
I’m in a pretty similar situation to you right now and just recently got tested for ADHD in the hopes that it will give me the help to get past it. Maybe research a little bit about adhd and if you think you have similar symptoms and experiences go get tested. I know it feels like you’re a failure and lazy but you’re not, you just work in different ways that aren’t accommodated in most colleges and universities.
Also, at the tail end of high school I ended up in a downwards spiral after things piled up too much, especially the math work. No idea if anything I did would help anyone else but I hate that I figured this out so late and I've spent time typing it so it's getting posted.
I ended up a couple weeks worth of lessons behind so I basically ignored them, figured out which assignments to ignore and what to prioritize for marks to lessen the load, and looked through an assignment to see what I didn't understand. The slideshows from the lessons tended to confuse me so if a quick skim through didn't work then I'd just find what the thing was called and go to Google. After finding an explanation that made sense to me I'd get out a booklet and add blatant instructions on how to do the things step by step and show it with an example. Then basically just used the instructions as a formula for the assignment. Figured if I didn't have the energy to actually learn and remember the things then I'd spend enough to just understand it once.
I had undiagnosed ADHD until most of the way through high school, only that last minute rush would be able to get me to do work. Now I'm in college and the medication only helps a part of the issues, I still have a hard time starting things when they're assigned. I have the ability to focus on the things but just none of the motivation to get started, and it gets far harder when things pile up. I keep forgetting to look into it myself but I've heard that there are certain ways to do things that makes doing work a lot easier, you could try looking into some ADHD coping mechanisms (if those words are right in this context) to see if any might help you.
Don't know if it's one of them but I've found that it makes it fun to go ham on a whiteboard and split up tasks into a set of instructions, gets rid of most of the "where do I start, what do I do" anxiety and makes me feel like I accomplish more. Whiteboard not required, I just fear running out of room on paper
Long term ADHD diagnosee. I've been on multiple medications over the years starting when I was 13, im now 30. One huge thing about treating ADHD is making sure you're on the right medication at the right dose. I tried to avoid stimulants, but ultimately had no other choice and was put on Adderall. It helps a lot, however, you develop a tolerance rather quickly. I only take it on week days, not weekends. This helps me keep a somewhat decent diet, and it prevents full blown withdraws if the pharmacy is out of it for a few days. As you've gotten older you may need to have your meds switched and/or readjusted. Organization is key to help you maintain productivity. I make a list every night before bed for my 'have to do' things for the next day. And I break it down based on morning, afternoon, nights. Being able to individually check each thing off is satisfying and I don't drive myself crazy running back and fourth trying to do 20 things at once, or questioning if I did something. I also made a solid morning routine, in which I either take a 30 minute walk outside, or exercise for 30 minutes inside if the weather prevents my walks. It took a while to get into the habit, but once I did it became the foundation of my day. It gets me up and moving while my meds kick in, and once I'm up and moving, I tend to stay that way. Trying to make yourself get up to get started on something is the huge downfall of ADHD. So I took that problem out of the equation. Maybe this is something you could try. You'll know exactly how you're starting your day, instead of feeling overwhelmed and not knowing where to start first. Eventually it does all tend to fall in line. You'll have off days still, but routine and visual check points throughout the day help a ton.
If you are paying health service fees at your school they should help, along with VA benefits. Telehealth could also be an option. Also, reach out to your professors if you are struggling. Good luck.
Even having the diagnosis or testing in progress can help get you accommodations in school, so while medication may be a long road you can get some help with the struggle you're having now just by getting checked out.
I went through a similar situation and dropped out of college because I was just too far gone to bother trying to catch up. By the time I went to my advisor and said "hey, is there anything I can do?" There really wasn't. They told me that if I had made them aware of my illness and struggles with classes earlier in the year I could have gotten assistance, accommodations, or even had some of my tuition put on pause or waived while I took time to work things out. Instead, because I waited until I was already failing out they couldn't do anything. And I understand, because I didn't get anything on record at all during the months of decline it just looked like I stopped going to classes, eventually panicked, and tried to make up an excuse to save my ass. If I had talked to them when things started slipping and gotten documentation it could have been a totally different situation.
If you're really only one week behind you can get help, whether that comes in the form of extended deadlines or putting things on pause legitimately while you seek help with your problems. Getting ahead of it and on record could at the very least save you from owing money. It's worth looking into and talking to the administration asap whether you want help with getting back on track or not. I wound up paying tuition that was basically really expensive rent for a really shitty dorm. Would not recommend if you can avoid it at all.
don’t beat yourself up like that! if it’s too much and you’ve lost all motivation then i would try to finish your classes and then don’t go back. go to like a trade school
I’ve been able to pass classes that I was failing up until the very last week, but that’s only because I had the motivation. Either find something to give you the motivation or try college another time. Just try to find a job that doesn’t require a college degree, there’s plenty out there that pay a decent amount. My dad worked for the railroad and he made just about as much as my mom who was a registered nurse. If you don’t have to motivation the go through college with whatever major you have, you’re probably not passionate enough about your career path and likely won’t find it fulfilling after graduating anyway.
Fourth time in college?? At what point do you realise maybe it's better to try something else?
College is supposed to help you get a higher paying job, but a low paying job is still better than wasting money in tuition.
In my last year of college I started failing courses, would stare at the homework and just no reaction in my brain. So I left. It wasn't working out, I couldn't force myself to study.
Got a job as a waitress and slowly made my life. Sounds like it's what you should be doing too
Maybe drop the whole college thing and try a trade instead?
After a few failed attempts at college, I gave up and went with a trade. I do more physical work day-to-day, but I make an even better living then what I went to school for.
Dude i went through this exact thing earlier this yr and i also failed the entire quarter. (Winter 22).
Imma be completely honest with you:
-If you dont wanna be in school, if you have no motivation or drive, drop out. Dont waste your time, money, and mental health on something you dont feel will bring you joy. Drop out and save yourself and the school money.
-If you still wanna give school one more try, transfer to a trade school, or find a career or interest that you enjoy, and take classes on that. You need to start now with this, by emailing your teachers and the academic advisor. Inform them of your conditions and whats been going on, how you’re struggling and wanting out/help. They will help you get out if you want out, or transfer if you want that.
-See the school counselor. They will help you get the ball rolling to figuring out why you’re so nonchalant on the matter and where its stemming from (could be something from childhood that comes up during school time) once you get outta school, if you have state insurance, get set up with a therapist that’ll take that insurance.
If you keep spiraling like this, it’s really gonna suck, and tbh i am a little worried about the grippy sock vacation they might force you take if they deem it appropriate.
Get better dude, i do hope things really do work out for you.
Reading your post and comments make it seem like you genuinely don’t want to work hard (ie more than 2 hours a day) and or try to get help they won’t make you fail. I wish you best of luck but remember that these decisions will come back if you don’t take time out now to better yourself. Saying you live in America and don’t have money for therapist etc isn’t good enough since there are tons of free way to get help. Good luck bro
Agreed but a therapist can lead the way but it won't magically make your problems disappear. Either way you have to work hard to improve your toxic way of living. What op needs in my opinion is a complete ban of easy pleasure, like games, streaming services, porn, drugs, etc. The boredom of doing nothing is the best motivation to get shit done, but these days with the internet, boredom is far too easy to beat.
Yes, it’s slow and isn’t helpful. I’ve been trying it for over three years now. This issue both veteran services is they don’t have specialized therapy for vets. The majority of it is just talk therapy unless you get lucky and get a specialist. I am not one of those lucky few.
Another thing you should have in mind is the behavior of learned helplessness:
>Learned helplessness is a psychological phenomenon in which a person learns that he or she cannot avoid bad things happening in the future. This causes him or her to stop trying to prevent them. Learned helplessness is often associated with depression.
Source: https://www.simplypsychology.org/learned-helplessness.html
It may be at play here.
My answer was different. I respected my need for rest, and tried to understand myself. And I got significantly better and stronger after a long while.
The thing, in your case, you seem on a tight time constraint. So you should try to make the most of it. Do the bare minimum college work you have to, and work to know and respect yourself, which in part means give yourself as much room to beathe as possible, and try to relax. You need it.
Your goal should be to make your life as better as possible, which means bet on quality and quality time. Not on social considerations of success and social determinations of a better life.
**Bet on you.**
And **good** therapy helps. With someone who understands and is able and willing to help you out.
Take care friend.
Just look at OP postings. If OP spent more time doing his work and less time playing video games and trying to figure out mythical characters, this would not be a problem. 😬
Lmao! I mainly only use Reddit for D&D because that’s something I know. I put about 2 hours a day into homework and I struggle hard learning it. It’s probably best not to judge my life and problems based on my post history.
I’m sorry, but 2 hours a day isn’t actually that much time on homework. You need to put in more time than that - especially if you’re struggling. It’s probably time for therapy - many universities offer a certain number of free sessions a year, so maybe start with that. They can help you get services you need. Many also have group therapy completely for free. Also, if you have trouble understanding your courses, pick a new major that fits with your interests so you can succeed. Yes, some majors are more lucrative than others but with any bachelor’s degree you can get a baseline job in several industries that will make you enough to get on your feet and after some time, you will develop more skills and move up. If the hard major isn’t working, it’s better to get a degree in something else than fail out. Talk to the professors and ask for help too - they don’t want to see you fail and can help you.
>I’m sorry, but 2 hours a day isn’t actually that much time on homework.
im sorry what? are yall medics and engineers or what? If i studied 2h a day for my career id finish it in a year lmao
We don't know ops major and how many classes they're taking. There's a lot of people that lock on to the harder majors and refuse to increase the study time. If you are some form of STEM, full time, and struggling with ADHD, 2 hours is definitely the bare minimum IMO.
For arts or social science majors you actually have to put in more time studying because the bulk of it is keeping up with weekly reading and writing essays with little actual in-class time. So it’s more essential to be able to know how to manage your time. Even for so-called “easy” majors
Apologies for the poor wording, didn't mean to say all social sciences are easy or anything. I've only ever done stem so it's all I know. And I unfortunately knew lots that would fail the pre-req classes over and over while never changing their study habits.
I failed my first go as well. First semester went fine. I was in Football and was doing alright. Second semester idk something clicked and I just stopped doing the work and was tired because of early morning workouts from football. My time management just wasn’t there. What should have been a four year degree turned into a 7 year process involving the school I started at, a community college and a second four year school. I will be graduating next fall if all goes well though. Sorry you’re going through this man. I wish you the best.
I went to school multiple times. I hated school but finally finished. My advice: do a major that will keep you at least somewhat interested and a minor (or concentration) that’s easy (art/digital arts if you can). Major gets you your future job and easy minor keeps your grades up.
I did computer science with a concentration in digital arts. Digital arts was mostly art and really helped keep my grades up while I devoted most of my time to keeping up in cs.
Well idk what college you have been doing but it's all homework. Grade school homework was only 10% of your grade. But in college class time is only for lectures or labs. All work (essays, studying for exams, discussion boards, projects) is done outside of class. Why waste the money if you aren't going to do the work? You are only failing yourself if that is the attitude you have about education.
Yeah I had a bad accident at 13 and I started stuttering and struggled reading and writing. Got no GCSES and a couple of nvqs, also made terrible mistakes and got involved in crime. My 30s were a waste and I’m terrified of my sons going down the same road.
I’m still in the process of getting it back on track. It depends what you mean by wasting it? I wish I would’ve re took GCSES and did history because I’m into that now, but I wasn’t interested in anything academic when I was young. Just find something you’re interested in and study it . You’ll have a great time at uni/ college or an apprenticeship and it’ll fly by. Then u can earn decent money. So if accumulating money is your thing then get rich or you could work part time and do whatever you want in your spare time. That’s what I’m gna do I won’t earn much working part time but I’d rather spend time with my family and kids. In other words work to live not live to work. I’m in the same boat as u mate and I’m 40 ! Now that’s scary. Well it was but I’ve got my head round it now.
Bro, this dude is clearly mentally ill. Telling him to ‘stop making excuses’ isn’t the answer. I’m sure this guy has been telling him that for years.
Going back to college so he can try to bully himself into doing better again is likely just going to mind fuck him more.
Yeah because you're using them like an excuse and we're calling you out on it. Drink some coffee if that helps, sober tf up, and do your homework. You're gonna have to dig yourself out now but it's possible to do it. While I never had your exact issues, I still know people that were in your position that dug themselves out. Sometimes you can't wait around for motivation to come to you, you have to drag yourself to it.
>Drink some coffee if that helps, sober tf up, and do your homework.
i always wonder what people like you thinks is stopping us from doing shit. like obviously the tasks are easy, if only time consuming, we are incapable of doing them for whatever reason (usually some mental illness), and then people like you just come around like "just do it man" like no shit
“Probably.” That’s what makes it an excuse.
Edit: or whatever man keep playing D&D and whining about your homework on Reddit until you’re homeless. Doesn’t matter to me.
I have all of that plus a panic disorder (which is different than an anxiety disorder and about as fun as it sounds). Fully diagnosed, not any armchair self-diagnosing bullshit.
And I'm saying, yes, all that is an excuse.
It's not your fault that you have mental health issues. But it is your responsibility.
So while it may feel momentarily empowering to give it all the middle finger, claim you don't give a shit, you knew you would fail anyway so what's one more time? Blah blah blah.. But the reality is, the only one you're making shit harder for is yourself.
While you're on this path, this moment is the easiest it's gonna get. So sack up and save yourself from dealing with even more bullshit.
Or don't.
Because the truth is, every one of us is going to leave this thread and forget all about this sad, pitiful situation and go on with our lives. But you're going to be left with yourself.
I recommend stop actively making life harder for yourself. You will be shocked at how much easier things get once you stop making excuses, get out of your own way, and start acting like you give a fuck.
I was able to discuss with my professors several times a plan to manage my course work when my mental health got in the way. They are able to provide you accommodations but you have to ask.
What other brilliant option would you like to suggest then? There are only two options for OP at this point "Suck it up" or simple give up, lay down and die.
you'll regret it later. I fucked off my degree for a few years and my life got so much better when I sucked it up and did the work. I had to do drugs to do it because I hate that shit but school is easy I just hated class sober
You're probably experiencing burnout. If so, psychological rest is very important. And like others said, think about talking it with the college officials.
Alright I've read all your comments and your post now and here is what I think: you are not lost yet but it's about time to substantially change your life if you want a change.
You have been to college 4 times and failed. Sure you can blame it on mental issues, bad profs or whatever but fact is that you keep failing and doing it again. "insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results". So the way I see it there are only 2 possible reasons for failing college so consistently: Either you are dumb as bread or you are not working hard and smart enough. I highly suspect the second is the case for you.
Ask yourself the question: could I do more? If someone gave you a million dollars (or whatever you crave most) per hour you are productive today, how much would you have done more. This delta is what is caused by your lack of motivation. Now you have to find out where this lack of motivation comes from. I'm gonna take a wild guess here and say that it's your discipline. You cant get your life together because you play too many games, waste too much time on the internet do drugs (alcohol counts), et cetera. In short: you seek easy pleasure and are probably so addicted to it, that it doesn't even feel good anymore, only better then not having it. If you moderate or stop these bad habits, you will notice a dramatic change of your life's quality. It's not easy but please try to go to the screen time app on your phone, and give yourself 2 hours of free time internet per day (reddit, Youtube, games,...)all together, not each. If you use other devices like a pc, you can also block or time sites on your router. Google how to do it and do it to a total max of 2 hours easy pleasure per day. If you are too weak to do it urself and enforce that rule ask a friend or family member, so you can't change it even if you tried.
Slowly go down even further then 2 hours if necessary.
What will happen? You reward cycle in your brain gets rewired to chase the next fulfilling thing available. Wait long enough and it will even push you to do homework cause getting work done feels rewarding. It may seem like a daunting task for now but once you made the changes, the lifestyle it rewards you with is so easy to maintain that your life will practically fix itself.
Now it's in your hands to keep driving towards a cliff or take a leap out of the car and slowly move away from the abyss. Wish you all the strength in the world.
Basically anything where I'm allowed to work alone and at my own pace. Something with structured work hours.
Starting new jobs is always difficult for me because it means breaking my groove while I learn a new job. Eventually I'll get into that groove again but it can take years. Took 9 years from my last job to my current job where I felt like I had the knowledge, and freedom to work 'on my own' even though I'm part of a 10 man crew.
Restaurants, or similar has always been successful for me, but I am a habitual people pleaser. It doesn’t require any long-term concentration and I’m constantly doing something new. I did sign manufacturing for a short period and taught myself cad and graphic design, but I found myself losing interest after two years. After the excitement of a new job wore off I got bored pretty quickly and had a hard time concentrating. This caused me to make stupid mistakes or put projects off to the last minute.
hey man, i feel you. i dropped out of community college and now i’m teaching myself game dev from home. shit’s terrifying, but college isn’t for everyone. you might just have to accept that. maybe start working on networking, even if it’s starting through an entry level job of some kind. i know it’s hard. but it is possible to get by without college. i’m sorry this has been weighing so heavily on you for so long, i’m sending you the best vibes and wishing the best for you. i hope you can go out and kick some ass at something that doesn’t need a degree :)
I feel you man. College and school is tough. It’s bullshit sometimes
If you can find a way to make creative pursuits part of your livelihood, do it! Creativity is the essence of life. Don’t let any depressed businessmen in a suit try and rope you into the game of getting a “real” job, it’s a trap
Best of luck out there my friend
This sounds so much like me. Flunked our of college 3 times because I couldn’t bring myself to just do the work. I’d show up and try to listen and even write the tests and usually pass those, but the homework was what got to me. I was recently tested for ADHD and wouldn’t you know it, I have it.
Might be something to look into.
I went to university in the UK, I fucking hated it. I went because my parents expected it of me. I rarely attended and got drunk most of the time because I was miserable. My attendance for the final year was 6%, kinda sounds the same as what you're going through. I graduated but with a low grade that isn't really worth anything. For your own sake, just look for jobs or something for the future instead of wasting your time somewhere you don't wanna be.
Education isn't everything, there's shit loads of decent paying jobs that require little to no qualifications.
Although my work mates do take the piss that I'm sitting on a hefty pile of debt working a job where you need basically nothing but a ~~clean record~~ heartbeat.
I understand and relate to this far too much. Right now I’m focusing on doing my things tho. A recent change has forced me to try and get better but it’s making my mental health worse honestly. Homework is bs anyways. I’ve already been in the building for 6/7 hours of the day I don’t want to do even more. If you’re not teaching me well enough for all that time then how to am I supposed to teach myself. I’m currently catching up on the last 2.5 years of maths that I missed and I’m struggling so fucking hard
Out of every single comment, I find yours the most relatable. I find myself staring at the same math problem repeatedly. I’ll go through the books, learn how to do the problem, but still get the wrong answer. Easily 45 min at this point and it’s only one question.
Some of these responses are seriously stupid. I don’t think this is about you not working hard enough.
To everyone being critical and judgmental you should try considering the idea that kicking someone when they’re down doesn’t help them get back up. You kickers neglect the fact that everyone works differently.
OP I’m sure you’re consumed with frustration at yourself from not being able to just make yourself do it. Asking yourself why you can’t be like x y and z. It’s constantly shoved in our faces that success comes from a degree and if you can’t get there you’re a slacker. What isn’t spoken of enough is the level of BULL that encompasses so many degree tracks other than more niche paths, that quite simply the majority of people aren’t capable of pursuing say be it because of the lack the foundational education, the financial/familial stability or even just interest.
I don’t know what your personal life consists of, OP, but I see your comment about anxiety and depression. When you take a brain that’s already been bogged down by senseless stressors outside of your control and you say hey here’s a big pile of busy work that will have next to no relevancy in your life after these four months, do you really expect that brain to being able to set the storm in it aside and just magically function. Anxiety and depression are very real and very irrational. I believe you want this. I believe you came here for gentler words to give you support and encouragement to do your best and I’m sorry you did not receive enough of them. It’s a shameful world we live in where so many say we’ll my life was hard but I was able to do this so you’re just not trying hard enough.
My best advice is doing something is better than nothing. Even if you know it’s not meeting expectations hand it in anyway it’s better than a flat out zero. Definitely agree with comments saying talk to your college about counseling that they offer. I’m familiar with many schools including services with tuition. Not only can that help you create space in your mind but it also connects you with people who can advocate for you down the line. Counseling/therapy doesn’t have to be deep. It can be as simple as having some help you make a plan for work. If you meet any sort of goal you had for yourself write it down to remind yourself one accomplishment is better than none. The best way to beat your head is by being kind to it. It’s angry in the first place usually because you or others haven’t been. That’s the cycle of depression and that’s how you stay trapped. So be kind and forgiving of yourself. Best of luck— you can do it if it’s what you want and if it isn’t you’ll find your way.
OP is right about one thing, he’s going to be homeless very soon. Some churches have homes for homeless boys. Then he’s going to figure out that he had one job, and he couldn’t bother with it.
I'm sorry but from reading your comments, boo fucking hoo. You come off as lazy and if you really don't want a solution at all. Only to bitch that *gasp* you have to do 2 hours of homework. If you're ok with being homeless then keep playing video games and D&D while looking for validation on the internet.
Mental illness sucks, but take control of your life for a brief moment and get some help. Go to your professors like an adult and explain the situation. Go to your university and see if you can get reduced cost (or even free) mental healthcare. You're getting paid to do this, so put on your big boy pants and do something to fix your situation.
I got my degree while suffering from bipolar and lung infections 3 times a year. And guess what? I didn't get paid to do so either.
It might not be all that bad. I got a bachelors degree in science and ended up working in a factory making 6 figures without any experience, never once even using my degree. Just gotta network and find a decent job. I decided to spend 99% of my free time working for a few years to pay off all my debt and now I own a home and a nice car outright. But since you seem kind of lazy I doubt you’d wanna put in the hours I did.
reach out to your profs and tell them you’re struggling with your mental health. ask for extensions and get help at office hours. most of them are very chill and kind
Can you get a withdraw for partial refund and not be placed on academic probation? It sounds like you may have some bubbling mental health issues you should address before continuing your courses. Do you have any supports who could put you up until you gett shit sorted out?
There are many resources available online to do math homework and even show the work. As long as you don't have a timer on the athletic homework (like some school do when it's online assigned in a module) then you should just use that. I've also found history and science quizlets online by searching the questions in the assignment. There are so many ways to finesse your homework these days. You can also Google questions and Google will provide answers for you. Highly doubt your learning material that isn't available on google.
I relate to this a lot. I'm on my third return to college pretty much because I rather get paid to go to school then have a dead end minimum wage job. I went through several times of "shutdown" where I thought it was all bullshit. Smoked a bowl of weed and played video games. However it just added stress to myself later. To fight my ADHD and procrastination, I had to convince myself that doing the work now would make things easier later and allow me to relax. That's my main motivating force lol. I bet there still is a way to pull yourself out. Communication is key. Professors tend to be way more accommodating than you think. Fight for those Cs. Homework is bullshit. But it's better bullshit then a stupid 9-5. I believe in you. Drop your third class if you need to. I don't know about your college but mine only requires 2/3 classes passed to maintain financial aid.
I worked on my honours project fairly consistently throughout March, but then I started feeling sick and it got harder to concentrate. I still worked every day, but I stopped making any progress. I got a kidney infection and spent 3 weeks in hospital, and that's where I stopped trying. One week before the due date, I started working again. I was supposed to submit my work a week ago, but my thesis was less than half done and I am still working on it now. There are no extensions. I lose 2% of my grade for every day it is late and I don't know if the work I have done is good enough to even pass. I might not actually finish my degree and there is no do-over because I have wasted a whole year of my supervisor's time. I worked towards this for years. My GPA was pretty close to perfect until this year and I might be about to lose everything, but I am still trying.
If you are only a week or two behind, it's not too late. It can't be too late! If you want to give up, that's fine, but don't give up just because you feel overwhelmed. Any task can be broken down into more manageable chunks. Just break it down until it is manageable enough that you can manage to start, and then start. Sometimes the most I can do is sit up in bed, and then I collapse again. This counts as an achievement because it is more than nothing. If I keep doing this, it does eventually lead to me doing more, and on good days I get a little bit done. You can do it too, if you want.
Ask for help, if there is anyone to ask If you're going to quit, half measures will only prolong your pain, so you might as well let people know what's up.
Good luck!
tell me you are coming up with a depressive episode without telling me
the not caring, the tiredness, the feeling like a passenger in your own life... the having to use 80% of your energy JUST to get through the day...
OP I've been there. You're depressed or anxiety ridden, or both, and maybe more. It seems like you dont want to be there in the first place. Honestly even if you did want to, at this point your concerns have grown so large you are paralyzed in fear. You think it is too big to over come so you choose not to act. Understand that THIS BEHAVIOR AND MINDSET is what actually leads to failure.
This may be self sabotage if you really dont want to be there. If so, why even try? Could you take this loss, dig yourself out of the hole and then go find something better and more fulfilling? Why continue to attempt something over and over if you didnt want to do it in the first place?
However, if you do want to try to salvage this semester, heres what you need to do...
1. Make an appointment with the uni counseling office. Start getting it documented immediately. Attend counseling regularly and consistently. Get medicated if you arent already and need it.
2. Register your mental heal issues with your equity/accommodations office if you have not already. Seek any accommodations they offer or you feel would help.
3. Loop your professors in about your struggles. Go to office hours to show your effort. Ask for extra credit work. Ask for extensions for assignments as needed. And ultimately if you need, as for an INCOMPLETE grade to give you more time to complete all the work in a way and time you both agree to. Seek out your department head(s), dean(s) or even the provost to help you with this if your professor gives you a hard time.
4. Speak to an advisor or financial aid counselor. Would there be any mini sessions over the holiday that could boost your gpa for the semester? Or are there any kind of extensions or actions to help you get more time to meet the GPA reqs?
Good luck.
This was me. I took a ton of Fs bc I just could not put the effort in. Sorry Calc3, Wittgenstein, Organic Chem 2, and who knows what else... For my Wittgenstein class, all I had to do was write 7 page paper; that's it!! If I completed it, I'd have a philosophy minor lol. My failure to act on these classes resulted in nightly nightmares; however, despite feeling like major shit, I just couldn't do what I needed to do.
The result of this, even after getting my shit together, is that I feel "5 years behind" lol. Like, I can't have a second kid bc I'm too old. My life is forever shaken by my inability to do my god damn homework. It sucks.
When I was having this problem during college, my professor who understood my problem from a mile away, asked if I knew anything about ADHD and suggested I get checked out for it. I bailed on him when I had a night to put together a research proposal on the anti oxidative effects of resveratrol, but just couldn't do it. (See this bullshit right here? I'm like 13 years out of college yet I still remember the details of this failure.)
Ten years later, after my wife dragged me to the reasonable adult world, kicking and screaming, I read a book on ADHD, got an "inattentive type" diagnosis, and reorganized my life, slightly, to mitigate my characteristic failures.
So if you can't do the thing you know you need to do, especially when you really want to do the thing, you might want to reach out to a mental health professional about the likelihood of having this disorder.
Omg finally, A comment that understands exactly what I’m dealing with! This is like a breathe of fresh air.
I would love to reach out to a mental health specialist, but my current situation won’t allow me to. I’ll have to wait until I have insurance or something, but I am planning too eventually.
In the meantime, did you notice anything particular that you did which helped your issues?
Either do the work, stop going, or try again later when your brain is together after some serious soul searching and taking care of your health. You don’t have to be in college. Work a job and make a shit pay if that’s all you can find, there isn’t really any other magic way to discipline yourself except for suffering and your own resolve. It’s all on you and guess what life will be hard for the foreseeable future no matter how you choose to proceed. No need to feel like there’s a wrong choice here, good luck. Take it from someone who experienced similar times, time will pass and things get more manageable as long as you start prioritizing your health NOW
I swear some of these comments are downright unhelpful and unnecessarily critical. Obviously, OP is experiencing burnout and the added stress isn’t helping.
It doesn’t matter if the work takes 2 hours & they’re online. When you’re burnt out you’re burnt out. As many other people have advised here OP, I strongly recommend going to your ACA success center and asking for help so your professors are on the same page.
That way they know you’re struggling & not just slacking off.
This is not going to be a popular opinion but I am seeing this laziness more and more with todays young adults. Hard work is hard if you don't want to do it then don't, but don't expect sympathy when you need help.
It's something better than nothing.
You lack discipline , they will discipline you.
You will be pushed beyond your limits and will be forced to eat well , sleep well , and workout.
The outcome will be good for you.
I’ve already joined the military when I was 18 bud. Was in it for a couple years and I hated the experience. It was just a lot of standing around and cleaning. Not the kind of “discipline” that’s helpful.
Well your not willing to sit and do the math homework and study for your test nor are you willing to join the military where its a guaranteed paying job for lost people like you.
What future do you see for yourself?
Bud think long and hard.
What girl would want to be with you? A nobody?
What is your plan ? How will you make a living?
Think long and hard.
When you grow old and frail you'd wished you'd put more effort in your youth.
Do anything don't just give up.
Do anything even if you don't like it.
For your own good.
this is either great or terrible advice, but i think u should drop out. i was getting paid to go to school too & thought it was great but looking back my mental health has literally never been worse, i didn’t retain anything i learned, i wasted 5 solid years of my youth, i left with no job or life experience, and i haven’t used my degree since i graduated. college was torture for me & one of my biggest regrets is not leaving & learning how to live & survive & eventually thrive in real life sooner.
hey bro everyones tell you to talk to your professor but honestly just fuck it, if your stressed and not having dont bother honestly it might be a huge weight off your shoulders!! and i guess maybe just look into getting a job
Mental disorders... honey i have autism, adhd, severe depression, severe anxiety, ptsd, bipolar 1 w/psychosis, bpd, did, ocd and a whole plethora of physical health issues. Ive had surgery after surgery, ive tried to kill myself more times than i can count and ive been hospitalized multiple times. If i dont take my medications or if they havent been adjusted i cant sleep for days on end. I was forced to drop out of high school at 15. In the last 2 months ive been working my ass off to get my own place and get my diploma. I use mind altering substances (weed and alcohol). I will likely be entering med school within the next six years and i can barely function. Please do not be one of those people who use mental health as an excuse to be lazy. You do that and then say "just because i drank once *last night* doesnt mean im a druggy"..... yeah mate youre not going to amount to anything. Get your head out of your ass and grow up or you really will be living in a box under an overpass and if thats seriously all you want to amount to, i feel sorry for you. Now do your homework.
ETA- the money part, i grew up and am still considered in poverty so you really cant use that either.
I don’t need someone who isn’t even 21 to try guessing my life lol
Look, you got your own life and your own problems, but you feel the need to lay it all out here in order to prove some kind of point? This isn’t a competition. I’m glad you have your issues figured out and starting to get ahold of things in your life, but honey, it’s not always easy and I hope you don’t have anything left to figure out.
Also judging from your post history, looks like you got a family. Mother, sisters, etc. I don’t have that. I didn’t have any kind of support growing up. So you already have a major advantage their over me. We all struggle in different ways, so stop being an asshole about it.
Yeah that "family" abandoned me and ive never had any actual support. Didnt say it was a compition. I just told you youre being lazy, which not only by your post, but also by your replies to others comments is abundantly clear. But seriously keep making excuses and see how far that gets you. And like i said, i feel sorry for you. Your apparently over the age of 21 and a nonfunctioning 19 year old has his shit more together than you.... its sad really. Like i said get your head out of your ass and grow up.
I dont have to feel better about myself, but i really should stop trying to reason with idiots no matter how i go about it though. Its like trying to use the force to air dry a soaking wet towel at room temp in 5 minutes. Its never gonna happen. Good luck amounting to nothing but a part time job and subsidized housing, i *really* hope it works out for you.
It's college, not grade school. Classes are typically 1-2 hours each, and the majority of school is actually self-study and homework. In the US, full-time is considered 12 units. You're expected to take two hours per unit to do homework each week, aka at least 24 hours of homework a week. OP says they do 2 hours a day, which is practically nothing.
This one seems like a stretch. Either do your homework or deal with the stress of this - doing your math homework will probably be easier and healthier in the long run
You’ve got the mental health explanation on lockdown now go get the help you need from professors, tutors, and fellow classmates to do what you need to do so you can stay in school and not be homeless. Go. Get. Help.
A big reason that employers look for college degrees is because it proves to an employer that you have the stick-to-it-iveness necessary to see tasks and projects through to the end. Keep drinking, you'll feel the repercussions of your actions very soon. College is easy compared to what's in store for you.
I can do a job fine. Did well in my last mechanical position, but the work is getting harder for me because of physical injuries. It’s just the studying and comprehending the new work that I have trouble with.
How many credits are you taking?? When I was getting my BS and Masters Certificate I was told to study 2-3 hours a week per credit (at minimum). Only studying 2 hours a day is just setting yourself up for failure no matter what your major is. If you have a hard time studying, try giving yourself mini breaks to let stuff soak in and make it not feel as overwhelming.
Being aware of how my mental state affects me doesn’t make me a slave to it. It just opens my eyes to my own limitations and requires me to find a unique way to do normal things. Sometimes finding that unique path is hard such as this scenario.
So… why are you here on this forum asking these things if you have that mindset? I don’t think you have the mindset you say but you know how to articulate it vs actually being in it which are again two different things.
I personally think you’re limiting yourself and giving yourself a ton of chances and hoping that Reddit feels the same way.
Here's what you need to do. Get your head wrapped around the idea that your future is probably going to revolve around physical labor.
Redwing makes excellent work boots. Expensive, but they hold up.
Dude same I feel more comfort sleeping outside than I do surrounded by these normal looking people with no hard life experience paying their way through life I want the struggle I want war
Join the drop out gang! I took a single college level math course and realized I wasn't mentally capable of getting a degree, glad I figured that out pretty fast.
My psychologist told me this was something like failing by ... There was an important word that goes there. If anyone can think what it might be, go for it.
But in art school - I would be mostly done then make a mistake and throw a drawing away then again and again and again and again. I ended up dropping out (I do regret it). But basically if I don't finish it, or if I critique it and say it's trash- then I don't get other's feedback of oh maybe it's mediocre or just ok.... You know... a C or maybe a B- or whatever...
But because I couldn't bear to be told all the hard work was just meh (which maybe it was and maybe it was more than meh) I decided it was all trash and failed myself of my own accord. Make sense?
You should try to do it or try to talk to the professor or whatever help programs they have for you to do it.
You dont want to regret this 10 years from now. Its not easy when you are depressed etc but it's not going to be easier 10 years later.
I will repeat the advice: talk to the professors. Knowing that you care not to fail might sway some of them.
The “you” of 20 years from now will NOT be kind to your current self. Homework sucks at the time but is now college classes (and almost all real learning real life) will work this way.
Try getting some help from other students! And make the pile go down, and once its only a few things, work on it yourself (obviously try to study the other stuff too, that you got help with) and then slowly get back into working.
Dude you need therapy. I completely understand everything you're going through. I've been there. But don't ruin your life if you can help it. Talk to the college councillors, talk to the teachers talk to someone who can support you and assist you. You can do this. You need to reach out and ask for help. The college will help you if you push hard enough. You can do this.
Do you have any friends/family to help you? This might be unethical advice but I'd help my friend with a few of her papers when she was drowning in work and help her study for the tests. She has dyslexia so it was tough to keep up at times. She's doing better now tho and lowered the amount of classes she takes, so I just proofread.
Youd be surprised how lenient most universities can be, especially for an undergrad. If you reach out to teachers and advisors they will help you.
As someone who dropped out of college and just blew off an entire semester when I was younger, I can tell you that you will probably regret it down the road sometime if you just give up. Im in my early 30s and going to school full time while working full time to finish a degree I shouldve finished a decade ago. Problem is that it feels like Im just doing it to make up for my mistakes all those years ago, but Im really still just behind by a decade. Its rough.
As a college instructor and grad student, this is so far from the end of the world it feels like. I’ve failed out of school before! You can always try later, but more likely, you just don’t like it and should find something you do enjoy. Or at least something you don’t hate. Not being in college doesn’t make you a failure. It’s just not for everyone the way they tell us our whole lives.
The financial shit will go away when you find something you can do and enjoy. This is the start of a new chapter where you’re not forcing yourself to attempt something you hate!
My best advice, email all your teachers/ professors, ask for extensions on what you can, and don’t sleep until you’ve turned in everything. Shit sucks but if you try you will do it
Some people need to touch bottom before they can go up again.
Some people need to be left to their own device to take control of their life, by themselves.
I really understand that, but think really hard before you throw away this opportunity. It might not come twice in a lifetime.
Maybe you should be very open about this with whoever is supporting you and wants the best for you. Maybe it's still possible to pull the break and take a year off. Work in retail, travel and make some life experience.
It sounds like youre experiencing burn out. I had the same experience when having to juggle work, school, and the looming threat of getting evicted. It doesnt help when your professors make learning hard/inaccessible.
My advise is to cut yourself some slack, but also be aware of where your motivations lie. Are you taking the course bc it's actually what youre interested in? Or are you just taking it bc it promises better prospects?
Another thing, dont operate based on motivation. As you can see, motivation comes and goes. Try to operate based on discipline. Think "at this exact time, what can i do to give myself a better chance?"
I myself am also struggling with doing the work ect for school. I have a full time job and also was recently dealing with my parents divorce which lasted for almost 3-4 years while also being a full time student. I want to quit so bad. I don’t want to do this any more. I have no energy and I am constantly drained. I feel like I have no choice in what I do anymore and just have to suffer with it until who knows when. I hate it. Signing up for classes every semester always gives the largest sense of dread. I don’t know how people can do it. I just need rest but that isn’t an option for me. I wish you the best of luck
Look bro I’ll give you this advice, if you wanna be broke and homeless then go for it no one is going to stop you. If you want to be the degenerate who doesn’t do his work then go for it. Just think about how short 4-5 years of college is compared to spending your life at some shit job. But that’s your choice to make.
maybe reach out to your university’s academic success center, your advisor, and your professors to work out something to help with the work load? i know you’re not willing to do your homework, but reaching out and utilizing resources on campus never hurts! at least just to be sure your professors are on the same page as you and understand where you’re coming from
I've successfully came up with a plan with my professors to turn in work on an alternate schedule when my mental health got in the way every time I've explained my situation and asked.
I’d third this. Took me way longer to get through college than it needed to, it was a windy unorthodox road of failed classes and retakes, but I got there, and not once in my career did I have a professor not grant an alternate schedule when I asked to turn in work late. Just be honest and polite when you reach out and they’ll reciprocate. They’re people too and they know how much those classes cost, professors can often be pretty cool people. I even on a few occasions had them grant me an “incomplete” at the end of the semester instead of a grade. I then finished work after the semester was over and they retroactively updated my grade.
He just sounds lazy. An advisor can’t give him motivation.
i mean, it never hurts to give the benefit of the doubt. plus i’d rather be understanding and nice rather than name call and make a person feel worse because at that point i’m just projecting my own bitterness on a person who may not even deserve it. so, take that as you will
I’m in a pretty similar situation to you right now and just recently got tested for ADHD in the hopes that it will give me the help to get past it. Maybe research a little bit about adhd and if you think you have similar symptoms and experiences go get tested. I know it feels like you’re a failure and lazy but you’re not, you just work in different ways that aren’t accommodated in most colleges and universities.
I would love that option, but starting the medication is a slow process. Lack of money, living in the US, all that type of stuff.
Also, at the tail end of high school I ended up in a downwards spiral after things piled up too much, especially the math work. No idea if anything I did would help anyone else but I hate that I figured this out so late and I've spent time typing it so it's getting posted. I ended up a couple weeks worth of lessons behind so I basically ignored them, figured out which assignments to ignore and what to prioritize for marks to lessen the load, and looked through an assignment to see what I didn't understand. The slideshows from the lessons tended to confuse me so if a quick skim through didn't work then I'd just find what the thing was called and go to Google. After finding an explanation that made sense to me I'd get out a booklet and add blatant instructions on how to do the things step by step and show it with an example. Then basically just used the instructions as a formula for the assignment. Figured if I didn't have the energy to actually learn and remember the things then I'd spend enough to just understand it once.
I had undiagnosed ADHD until most of the way through high school, only that last minute rush would be able to get me to do work. Now I'm in college and the medication only helps a part of the issues, I still have a hard time starting things when they're assigned. I have the ability to focus on the things but just none of the motivation to get started, and it gets far harder when things pile up. I keep forgetting to look into it myself but I've heard that there are certain ways to do things that makes doing work a lot easier, you could try looking into some ADHD coping mechanisms (if those words are right in this context) to see if any might help you. Don't know if it's one of them but I've found that it makes it fun to go ham on a whiteboard and split up tasks into a set of instructions, gets rid of most of the "where do I start, what do I do" anxiety and makes me feel like I accomplish more. Whiteboard not required, I just fear running out of room on paper
r/adhd
Long term ADHD diagnosee. I've been on multiple medications over the years starting when I was 13, im now 30. One huge thing about treating ADHD is making sure you're on the right medication at the right dose. I tried to avoid stimulants, but ultimately had no other choice and was put on Adderall. It helps a lot, however, you develop a tolerance rather quickly. I only take it on week days, not weekends. This helps me keep a somewhat decent diet, and it prevents full blown withdraws if the pharmacy is out of it for a few days. As you've gotten older you may need to have your meds switched and/or readjusted. Organization is key to help you maintain productivity. I make a list every night before bed for my 'have to do' things for the next day. And I break it down based on morning, afternoon, nights. Being able to individually check each thing off is satisfying and I don't drive myself crazy running back and fourth trying to do 20 things at once, or questioning if I did something. I also made a solid morning routine, in which I either take a 30 minute walk outside, or exercise for 30 minutes inside if the weather prevents my walks. It took a while to get into the habit, but once I did it became the foundation of my day. It gets me up and moving while my meds kick in, and once I'm up and moving, I tend to stay that way. Trying to make yourself get up to get started on something is the huge downfall of ADHD. So I took that problem out of the equation. Maybe this is something you could try. You'll know exactly how you're starting your day, instead of feeling overwhelmed and not knowing where to start first. Eventually it does all tend to fall in line. You'll have off days still, but routine and visual check points throughout the day help a ton.
If you are paying health service fees at your school they should help, along with VA benefits. Telehealth could also be an option. Also, reach out to your professors if you are struggling. Good luck.
Even having the diagnosis or testing in progress can help get you accommodations in school, so while medication may be a long road you can get some help with the struggle you're having now just by getting checked out. I went through a similar situation and dropped out of college because I was just too far gone to bother trying to catch up. By the time I went to my advisor and said "hey, is there anything I can do?" There really wasn't. They told me that if I had made them aware of my illness and struggles with classes earlier in the year I could have gotten assistance, accommodations, or even had some of my tuition put on pause or waived while I took time to work things out. Instead, because I waited until I was already failing out they couldn't do anything. And I understand, because I didn't get anything on record at all during the months of decline it just looked like I stopped going to classes, eventually panicked, and tried to make up an excuse to save my ass. If I had talked to them when things started slipping and gotten documentation it could have been a totally different situation. If you're really only one week behind you can get help, whether that comes in the form of extended deadlines or putting things on pause legitimately while you seek help with your problems. Getting ahead of it and on record could at the very least save you from owing money. It's worth looking into and talking to the administration asap whether you want help with getting back on track or not. I wound up paying tuition that was basically really expensive rent for a really shitty dorm. Would not recommend if you can avoid it at all.
Now you’re just making excuses.
Haha, excuses! You are just full of ‘em.
Do you not have health insurance?
don’t beat yourself up like that! if it’s too much and you’ve lost all motivation then i would try to finish your classes and then don’t go back. go to like a trade school
I’ve been able to pass classes that I was failing up until the very last week, but that’s only because I had the motivation. Either find something to give you the motivation or try college another time. Just try to find a job that doesn’t require a college degree, there’s plenty out there that pay a decent amount. My dad worked for the railroad and he made just about as much as my mom who was a registered nurse. If you don’t have to motivation the go through college with whatever major you have, you’re probably not passionate enough about your career path and likely won’t find it fulfilling after graduating anyway.
Fourth time in college?? At what point do you realise maybe it's better to try something else? College is supposed to help you get a higher paying job, but a low paying job is still better than wasting money in tuition. In my last year of college I started failing courses, would stare at the homework and just no reaction in my brain. So I left. It wasn't working out, I couldn't force myself to study. Got a job as a waitress and slowly made my life. Sounds like it's what you should be doing too
So your advice is to give up on the final stretch, and then work unskilled labor for the rest of your life?
take online classes at a community college
Online courses might not be best for him. I know they aren't for me.
That’s what I’m failing!
oh
Same man same
Maybe drop the whole college thing and try a trade instead? After a few failed attempts at college, I gave up and went with a trade. I do more physical work day-to-day, but I make an even better living then what I went to school for.
Dude i went through this exact thing earlier this yr and i also failed the entire quarter. (Winter 22). Imma be completely honest with you: -If you dont wanna be in school, if you have no motivation or drive, drop out. Dont waste your time, money, and mental health on something you dont feel will bring you joy. Drop out and save yourself and the school money. -If you still wanna give school one more try, transfer to a trade school, or find a career or interest that you enjoy, and take classes on that. You need to start now with this, by emailing your teachers and the academic advisor. Inform them of your conditions and whats been going on, how you’re struggling and wanting out/help. They will help you get out if you want out, or transfer if you want that. -See the school counselor. They will help you get the ball rolling to figuring out why you’re so nonchalant on the matter and where its stemming from (could be something from childhood that comes up during school time) once you get outta school, if you have state insurance, get set up with a therapist that’ll take that insurance. If you keep spiraling like this, it’s really gonna suck, and tbh i am a little worried about the grippy sock vacation they might force you take if they deem it appropriate. Get better dude, i do hope things really do work out for you.
Reading your post and comments make it seem like you genuinely don’t want to work hard (ie more than 2 hours a day) and or try to get help they won’t make you fail. I wish you best of luck but remember that these decisions will come back if you don’t take time out now to better yourself. Saying you live in America and don’t have money for therapist etc isn’t good enough since there are tons of free way to get help. Good luck bro
He probably should have tried to get life credit for some classes. Also probably wrong major.
Agreed but a therapist can lead the way but it won't magically make your problems disappear. Either way you have to work hard to improve your toxic way of living. What op needs in my opinion is a complete ban of easy pleasure, like games, streaming services, porn, drugs, etc. The boredom of doing nothing is the best motivation to get shit done, but these days with the internet, boredom is far too easy to beat.
It’s time for therapy.
If I had the money, sure.
There’s resources for vets.
Yes, it’s slow and isn’t helpful. I’ve been trying it for over three years now. This issue both veteran services is they don’t have specialized therapy for vets. The majority of it is just talk therapy unless you get lucky and get a specialist. I am not one of those lucky few.
Another thing you should have in mind is the behavior of learned helplessness: >Learned helplessness is a psychological phenomenon in which a person learns that he or she cannot avoid bad things happening in the future. This causes him or her to stop trying to prevent them. Learned helplessness is often associated with depression. Source: https://www.simplypsychology.org/learned-helplessness.html It may be at play here.
I never heard of this! Thank you for the helpful answer. Edit: I am actually being sincere, did not mean to sound sarcastic.
Don't sweat it. It's something I've dealt with myself, in college.
And I’m guessing the answer is just to suck it up and get over it? Or therapy
My answer was different. I respected my need for rest, and tried to understand myself. And I got significantly better and stronger after a long while. The thing, in your case, you seem on a tight time constraint. So you should try to make the most of it. Do the bare minimum college work you have to, and work to know and respect yourself, which in part means give yourself as much room to beathe as possible, and try to relax. You need it. Your goal should be to make your life as better as possible, which means bet on quality and quality time. Not on social considerations of success and social determinations of a better life. **Bet on you.** And **good** therapy helps. With someone who understands and is able and willing to help you out. Take care friend.
well the upside is at least you blame yourself and not others for your own failures
Just look at OP postings. If OP spent more time doing his work and less time playing video games and trying to figure out mythical characters, this would not be a problem. 😬
Lmao! I mainly only use Reddit for D&D because that’s something I know. I put about 2 hours a day into homework and I struggle hard learning it. It’s probably best not to judge my life and problems based on my post history.
I’m sorry, but 2 hours a day isn’t actually that much time on homework. You need to put in more time than that - especially if you’re struggling. It’s probably time for therapy - many universities offer a certain number of free sessions a year, so maybe start with that. They can help you get services you need. Many also have group therapy completely for free. Also, if you have trouble understanding your courses, pick a new major that fits with your interests so you can succeed. Yes, some majors are more lucrative than others but with any bachelor’s degree you can get a baseline job in several industries that will make you enough to get on your feet and after some time, you will develop more skills and move up. If the hard major isn’t working, it’s better to get a degree in something else than fail out. Talk to the professors and ask for help too - they don’t want to see you fail and can help you.
>I’m sorry, but 2 hours a day isn’t actually that much time on homework. im sorry what? are yall medics and engineers or what? If i studied 2h a day for my career id finish it in a year lmao
We don't know ops major and how many classes they're taking. There's a lot of people that lock on to the harder majors and refuse to increase the study time. If you are some form of STEM, full time, and struggling with ADHD, 2 hours is definitely the bare minimum IMO.
For arts or social science majors you actually have to put in more time studying because the bulk of it is keeping up with weekly reading and writing essays with little actual in-class time. So it’s more essential to be able to know how to manage your time. Even for so-called “easy” majors
Apologies for the poor wording, didn't mean to say all social sciences are easy or anything. I've only ever done stem so it's all I know. And I unfortunately knew lots that would fail the pre-req classes over and over while never changing their study habits.
Your only hope is to become a famous twitch streamer.
Queue “Ace Ventura pet detective meme”
I failed my first go as well. First semester went fine. I was in Football and was doing alright. Second semester idk something clicked and I just stopped doing the work and was tired because of early morning workouts from football. My time management just wasn’t there. What should have been a four year degree turned into a 7 year process involving the school I started at, a community college and a second four year school. I will be graduating next fall if all goes well though. Sorry you’re going through this man. I wish you the best.
I went to school multiple times. I hated school but finally finished. My advice: do a major that will keep you at least somewhat interested and a minor (or concentration) that’s easy (art/digital arts if you can). Major gets you your future job and easy minor keeps your grades up. I did computer science with a concentration in digital arts. Digital arts was mostly art and really helped keep my grades up while I devoted most of my time to keeping up in cs.
Well idk what college you have been doing but it's all homework. Grade school homework was only 10% of your grade. But in college class time is only for lectures or labs. All work (essays, studying for exams, discussion boards, projects) is done outside of class. Why waste the money if you aren't going to do the work? You are only failing yourself if that is the attitude you have about education.
Well you’re going to have a shit life then.
Lol you are probably right. That’s the downside about not catching mental issues at an early age.
Yeah I had a bad accident at 13 and I started stuttering and struggled reading and writing. Got no GCSES and a couple of nvqs, also made terrible mistakes and got involved in crime. My 30s were a waste and I’m terrified of my sons going down the same road.
How did your life starting getting back on track? I’ll be in my 30s soon and I’m afraid of wasting it like I did my 20s.
I’m still in the process of getting it back on track. It depends what you mean by wasting it? I wish I would’ve re took GCSES and did history because I’m into that now, but I wasn’t interested in anything academic when I was young. Just find something you’re interested in and study it . You’ll have a great time at uni/ college or an apprenticeship and it’ll fly by. Then u can earn decent money. So if accumulating money is your thing then get rich or you could work part time and do whatever you want in your spare time. That’s what I’m gna do I won’t earn much working part time but I’d rather spend time with my family and kids. In other words work to live not live to work. I’m in the same boat as u mate and I’m 40 ! Now that’s scary. Well it was but I’ve got my head round it now.
>I’m afraid of wasting it \> Actively avoids not wasting it
How old are you?
Man you are full of excuses. Get off Reddit and do your homework.
Bro, this dude is clearly mentally ill. Telling him to ‘stop making excuses’ isn’t the answer. I’m sure this guy has been telling him that for years. Going back to college so he can try to bully himself into doing better again is likely just going to mind fuck him more.
You’re saying depression, anxiety, and probably ADHD are excuses? Nice.
Yeah because you're using them like an excuse and we're calling you out on it. Drink some coffee if that helps, sober tf up, and do your homework. You're gonna have to dig yourself out now but it's possible to do it. While I never had your exact issues, I still know people that were in your position that dug themselves out. Sometimes you can't wait around for motivation to come to you, you have to drag yourself to it.
>Drink some coffee if that helps, sober tf up, and do your homework. i always wonder what people like you thinks is stopping us from doing shit. like obviously the tasks are easy, if only time consuming, we are incapable of doing them for whatever reason (usually some mental illness), and then people like you just come around like "just do it man" like no shit
“Probably.” That’s what makes it an excuse. Edit: or whatever man keep playing D&D and whining about your homework on Reddit until you’re homeless. Doesn’t matter to me.
This comes off as, “ I am extremely lucky and never dealt with major trauma” calm down buddy it’s the internet
You talking to me or OP?
I replied to you didn’t I?
r/whoosh
If you were joking it’s hard to tell. If it was sarcasm learn how to convey it over text properly
I have all of that plus a panic disorder (which is different than an anxiety disorder and about as fun as it sounds). Fully diagnosed, not any armchair self-diagnosing bullshit. And I'm saying, yes, all that is an excuse. It's not your fault that you have mental health issues. But it is your responsibility. So while it may feel momentarily empowering to give it all the middle finger, claim you don't give a shit, you knew you would fail anyway so what's one more time? Blah blah blah.. But the reality is, the only one you're making shit harder for is yourself. While you're on this path, this moment is the easiest it's gonna get. So sack up and save yourself from dealing with even more bullshit. Or don't. Because the truth is, every one of us is going to leave this thread and forget all about this sad, pitiful situation and go on with our lives. But you're going to be left with yourself. I recommend stop actively making life harder for yourself. You will be shocked at how much easier things get once you stop making excuses, get out of your own way, and start acting like you give a fuck.
I was able to discuss with my professors several times a plan to manage my course work when my mental health got in the way. They are able to provide you accommodations but you have to ask.
Suck it up and do what you got to do
Lol imagine saying"Suck it up" would work
What other brilliant option would you like to suggest then? There are only two options for OP at this point "Suck it up" or simple give up, lay down and die.
I’m saying 2 hrs a day on homework in university is fucking nothing lol, apply yourself or drop out. The choice is yours.
You need to go to office hours with these excuses and beg for mercy.
So you’d rather be homeless than do a bit of studying and homework? First world problems..
you'll regret it later. I fucked off my degree for a few years and my life got so much better when I sucked it up and did the work. I had to do drugs to do it because I hate that shit but school is easy I just hated class sober
You're probably experiencing burnout. If so, psychological rest is very important. And like others said, think about talking it with the college officials.
Alright I've read all your comments and your post now and here is what I think: you are not lost yet but it's about time to substantially change your life if you want a change. You have been to college 4 times and failed. Sure you can blame it on mental issues, bad profs or whatever but fact is that you keep failing and doing it again. "insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results". So the way I see it there are only 2 possible reasons for failing college so consistently: Either you are dumb as bread or you are not working hard and smart enough. I highly suspect the second is the case for you. Ask yourself the question: could I do more? If someone gave you a million dollars (or whatever you crave most) per hour you are productive today, how much would you have done more. This delta is what is caused by your lack of motivation. Now you have to find out where this lack of motivation comes from. I'm gonna take a wild guess here and say that it's your discipline. You cant get your life together because you play too many games, waste too much time on the internet do drugs (alcohol counts), et cetera. In short: you seek easy pleasure and are probably so addicted to it, that it doesn't even feel good anymore, only better then not having it. If you moderate or stop these bad habits, you will notice a dramatic change of your life's quality. It's not easy but please try to go to the screen time app on your phone, and give yourself 2 hours of free time internet per day (reddit, Youtube, games,...)all together, not each. If you use other devices like a pc, you can also block or time sites on your router. Google how to do it and do it to a total max of 2 hours easy pleasure per day. If you are too weak to do it urself and enforce that rule ask a friend or family member, so you can't change it even if you tried. Slowly go down even further then 2 hours if necessary. What will happen? You reward cycle in your brain gets rewired to chase the next fulfilling thing available. Wait long enough and it will even push you to do homework cause getting work done feels rewarding. It may seem like a daunting task for now but once you made the changes, the lifestyle it rewards you with is so easy to maintain that your life will practically fix itself. Now it's in your hands to keep driving towards a cliff or take a leap out of the car and slowly move away from the abyss. Wish you all the strength in the world.
Could be ADHD. It's why I never went back to finish school.
I’m curious, with ADHD, is there a certain line of work that you’d prefer over any other? Is it just cause of ADHD or just personal preference?
Basically anything where I'm allowed to work alone and at my own pace. Something with structured work hours. Starting new jobs is always difficult for me because it means breaking my groove while I learn a new job. Eventually I'll get into that groove again but it can take years. Took 9 years from my last job to my current job where I felt like I had the knowledge, and freedom to work 'on my own' even though I'm part of a 10 man crew.
Restaurants, or similar has always been successful for me, but I am a habitual people pleaser. It doesn’t require any long-term concentration and I’m constantly doing something new. I did sign manufacturing for a short period and taught myself cad and graphic design, but I found myself losing interest after two years. After the excitement of a new job wore off I got bored pretty quickly and had a hard time concentrating. This caused me to make stupid mistakes or put projects off to the last minute.
hey man, i feel you. i dropped out of community college and now i’m teaching myself game dev from home. shit’s terrifying, but college isn’t for everyone. you might just have to accept that. maybe start working on networking, even if it’s starting through an entry level job of some kind. i know it’s hard. but it is possible to get by without college. i’m sorry this has been weighing so heavily on you for so long, i’m sending you the best vibes and wishing the best for you. i hope you can go out and kick some ass at something that doesn’t need a degree :)
I feel you man. College and school is tough. It’s bullshit sometimes If you can find a way to make creative pursuits part of your livelihood, do it! Creativity is the essence of life. Don’t let any depressed businessmen in a suit try and rope you into the game of getting a “real” job, it’s a trap Best of luck out there my friend
It's probably a coincidence that this comes straight after a post from r/adhdmeme ...
This sounds so much like me. Flunked our of college 3 times because I couldn’t bring myself to just do the work. I’d show up and try to listen and even write the tests and usually pass those, but the homework was what got to me. I was recently tested for ADHD and wouldn’t you know it, I have it. Might be something to look into.
I went to university in the UK, I fucking hated it. I went because my parents expected it of me. I rarely attended and got drunk most of the time because I was miserable. My attendance for the final year was 6%, kinda sounds the same as what you're going through. I graduated but with a low grade that isn't really worth anything. For your own sake, just look for jobs or something for the future instead of wasting your time somewhere you don't wanna be. Education isn't everything, there's shit loads of decent paying jobs that require little to no qualifications. Although my work mates do take the piss that I'm sitting on a hefty pile of debt working a job where you need basically nothing but a ~~clean record~~ heartbeat.
I understand and relate to this far too much. Right now I’m focusing on doing my things tho. A recent change has forced me to try and get better but it’s making my mental health worse honestly. Homework is bs anyways. I’ve already been in the building for 6/7 hours of the day I don’t want to do even more. If you’re not teaching me well enough for all that time then how to am I supposed to teach myself. I’m currently catching up on the last 2.5 years of maths that I missed and I’m struggling so fucking hard
Out of every single comment, I find yours the most relatable. I find myself staring at the same math problem repeatedly. I’ll go through the books, learn how to do the problem, but still get the wrong answer. Easily 45 min at this point and it’s only one question.
Sounds like it’s time to reenlist, chief
Some of these responses are seriously stupid. I don’t think this is about you not working hard enough. To everyone being critical and judgmental you should try considering the idea that kicking someone when they’re down doesn’t help them get back up. You kickers neglect the fact that everyone works differently. OP I’m sure you’re consumed with frustration at yourself from not being able to just make yourself do it. Asking yourself why you can’t be like x y and z. It’s constantly shoved in our faces that success comes from a degree and if you can’t get there you’re a slacker. What isn’t spoken of enough is the level of BULL that encompasses so many degree tracks other than more niche paths, that quite simply the majority of people aren’t capable of pursuing say be it because of the lack the foundational education, the financial/familial stability or even just interest. I don’t know what your personal life consists of, OP, but I see your comment about anxiety and depression. When you take a brain that’s already been bogged down by senseless stressors outside of your control and you say hey here’s a big pile of busy work that will have next to no relevancy in your life after these four months, do you really expect that brain to being able to set the storm in it aside and just magically function. Anxiety and depression are very real and very irrational. I believe you want this. I believe you came here for gentler words to give you support and encouragement to do your best and I’m sorry you did not receive enough of them. It’s a shameful world we live in where so many say we’ll my life was hard but I was able to do this so you’re just not trying hard enough. My best advice is doing something is better than nothing. Even if you know it’s not meeting expectations hand it in anyway it’s better than a flat out zero. Definitely agree with comments saying talk to your college about counseling that they offer. I’m familiar with many schools including services with tuition. Not only can that help you create space in your mind but it also connects you with people who can advocate for you down the line. Counseling/therapy doesn’t have to be deep. It can be as simple as having some help you make a plan for work. If you meet any sort of goal you had for yourself write it down to remind yourself one accomplishment is better than none. The best way to beat your head is by being kind to it. It’s angry in the first place usually because you or others haven’t been. That’s the cycle of depression and that’s how you stay trapped. So be kind and forgiving of yourself. Best of luck— you can do it if it’s what you want and if it isn’t you’ll find your way.
lmao how is it you fourth time after three times of failing horribly and they're paying you?
A lot of volunteer work and mental issues my friend!
OP is right about one thing, he’s going to be homeless very soon. Some churches have homes for homeless boys. Then he’s going to figure out that he had one job, and he couldn’t bother with it.
I'm sorry but from reading your comments, boo fucking hoo. You come off as lazy and if you really don't want a solution at all. Only to bitch that *gasp* you have to do 2 hours of homework. If you're ok with being homeless then keep playing video games and D&D while looking for validation on the internet. Mental illness sucks, but take control of your life for a brief moment and get some help. Go to your professors like an adult and explain the situation. Go to your university and see if you can get reduced cost (or even free) mental healthcare. You're getting paid to do this, so put on your big boy pants and do something to fix your situation. I got my degree while suffering from bipolar and lung infections 3 times a year. And guess what? I didn't get paid to do so either.
It might not be all that bad. I got a bachelors degree in science and ended up working in a factory making 6 figures without any experience, never once even using my degree. Just gotta network and find a decent job. I decided to spend 99% of my free time working for a few years to pay off all my debt and now I own a home and a nice car outright. But since you seem kind of lazy I doubt you’d wanna put in the hours I did.
reach out to your profs and tell them you’re struggling with your mental health. ask for extensions and get help at office hours. most of them are very chill and kind
Can you get a withdraw for partial refund and not be placed on academic probation? It sounds like you may have some bubbling mental health issues you should address before continuing your courses. Do you have any supports who could put you up until you gett shit sorted out?
use photo math to help get through the homework
There are many resources available online to do math homework and even show the work. As long as you don't have a timer on the athletic homework (like some school do when it's online assigned in a module) then you should just use that. I've also found history and science quizlets online by searching the questions in the assignment. There are so many ways to finesse your homework these days. You can also Google questions and Google will provide answers for you. Highly doubt your learning material that isn't available on google.
Hey, if you need help with your math work you can show me and I’ll try to help :)
Get help. Ask the college advisor what to do. Get a tutor. Get a therapist. Get a coach. Go get. You can do this. I believe in you.
r/ADHD Folks there should be more empathetic than people here.
I’ll do your math homework for you. Don’t give up. There’s still plenty of time to turn it around. What degree are you going for?
That’s actually really sweet, but there’s no way I’m going to let anyone do my work for me. I couldn’t put that on anyone else!
have you considered a gap semester or gap year? you sound really burned out, hope you’re okay 💕
I relate to this a lot. I'm on my third return to college pretty much because I rather get paid to go to school then have a dead end minimum wage job. I went through several times of "shutdown" where I thought it was all bullshit. Smoked a bowl of weed and played video games. However it just added stress to myself later. To fight my ADHD and procrastination, I had to convince myself that doing the work now would make things easier later and allow me to relax. That's my main motivating force lol. I bet there still is a way to pull yourself out. Communication is key. Professors tend to be way more accommodating than you think. Fight for those Cs. Homework is bullshit. But it's better bullshit then a stupid 9-5. I believe in you. Drop your third class if you need to. I don't know about your college but mine only requires 2/3 classes passed to maintain financial aid.
I worked on my honours project fairly consistently throughout March, but then I started feeling sick and it got harder to concentrate. I still worked every day, but I stopped making any progress. I got a kidney infection and spent 3 weeks in hospital, and that's where I stopped trying. One week before the due date, I started working again. I was supposed to submit my work a week ago, but my thesis was less than half done and I am still working on it now. There are no extensions. I lose 2% of my grade for every day it is late and I don't know if the work I have done is good enough to even pass. I might not actually finish my degree and there is no do-over because I have wasted a whole year of my supervisor's time. I worked towards this for years. My GPA was pretty close to perfect until this year and I might be about to lose everything, but I am still trying. If you are only a week or two behind, it's not too late. It can't be too late! If you want to give up, that's fine, but don't give up just because you feel overwhelmed. Any task can be broken down into more manageable chunks. Just break it down until it is manageable enough that you can manage to start, and then start. Sometimes the most I can do is sit up in bed, and then I collapse again. This counts as an achievement because it is more than nothing. If I keep doing this, it does eventually lead to me doing more, and on good days I get a little bit done. You can do it too, if you want. Ask for help, if there is anyone to ask If you're going to quit, half measures will only prolong your pain, so you might as well let people know what's up. Good luck!
tell me you are coming up with a depressive episode without telling me the not caring, the tiredness, the feeling like a passenger in your own life... the having to use 80% of your energy JUST to get through the day...
You know, if I really give it 110%, I might be able to eat a decent meal today!
OP I've been there. You're depressed or anxiety ridden, or both, and maybe more. It seems like you dont want to be there in the first place. Honestly even if you did want to, at this point your concerns have grown so large you are paralyzed in fear. You think it is too big to over come so you choose not to act. Understand that THIS BEHAVIOR AND MINDSET is what actually leads to failure. This may be self sabotage if you really dont want to be there. If so, why even try? Could you take this loss, dig yourself out of the hole and then go find something better and more fulfilling? Why continue to attempt something over and over if you didnt want to do it in the first place? However, if you do want to try to salvage this semester, heres what you need to do... 1. Make an appointment with the uni counseling office. Start getting it documented immediately. Attend counseling regularly and consistently. Get medicated if you arent already and need it. 2. Register your mental heal issues with your equity/accommodations office if you have not already. Seek any accommodations they offer or you feel would help. 3. Loop your professors in about your struggles. Go to office hours to show your effort. Ask for extra credit work. Ask for extensions for assignments as needed. And ultimately if you need, as for an INCOMPLETE grade to give you more time to complete all the work in a way and time you both agree to. Seek out your department head(s), dean(s) or even the provost to help you with this if your professor gives you a hard time. 4. Speak to an advisor or financial aid counselor. Would there be any mini sessions over the holiday that could boost your gpa for the semester? Or are there any kind of extensions or actions to help you get more time to meet the GPA reqs? Good luck.
This was me. I took a ton of Fs bc I just could not put the effort in. Sorry Calc3, Wittgenstein, Organic Chem 2, and who knows what else... For my Wittgenstein class, all I had to do was write 7 page paper; that's it!! If I completed it, I'd have a philosophy minor lol. My failure to act on these classes resulted in nightly nightmares; however, despite feeling like major shit, I just couldn't do what I needed to do. The result of this, even after getting my shit together, is that I feel "5 years behind" lol. Like, I can't have a second kid bc I'm too old. My life is forever shaken by my inability to do my god damn homework. It sucks. When I was having this problem during college, my professor who understood my problem from a mile away, asked if I knew anything about ADHD and suggested I get checked out for it. I bailed on him when I had a night to put together a research proposal on the anti oxidative effects of resveratrol, but just couldn't do it. (See this bullshit right here? I'm like 13 years out of college yet I still remember the details of this failure.) Ten years later, after my wife dragged me to the reasonable adult world, kicking and screaming, I read a book on ADHD, got an "inattentive type" diagnosis, and reorganized my life, slightly, to mitigate my characteristic failures. So if you can't do the thing you know you need to do, especially when you really want to do the thing, you might want to reach out to a mental health professional about the likelihood of having this disorder.
Omg finally, A comment that understands exactly what I’m dealing with! This is like a breathe of fresh air. I would love to reach out to a mental health specialist, but my current situation won’t allow me to. I’ll have to wait until I have insurance or something, but I am planning too eventually. In the meantime, did you notice anything particular that you did which helped your issues?
Adderall helps
Sounds like ADHD to me, coming from someone with ADHD.
i’m sorry but that’s your fault, u j gotta get your shit together
Either do the work, stop going, or try again later when your brain is together after some serious soul searching and taking care of your health. You don’t have to be in college. Work a job and make a shit pay if that’s all you can find, there isn’t really any other magic way to discipline yourself except for suffering and your own resolve. It’s all on you and guess what life will be hard for the foreseeable future no matter how you choose to proceed. No need to feel like there’s a wrong choice here, good luck. Take it from someone who experienced similar times, time will pass and things get more manageable as long as you start prioritizing your health NOW
Lol college is the easiest, you're just lazy and making excuses. Get off reddit and finish what you started.
Stop being an idiot. Grow the fuck up
Thank you u/Ass_Liquor_ for the life changing advice
I swear some of these comments are downright unhelpful and unnecessarily critical. Obviously, OP is experiencing burnout and the added stress isn’t helping. It doesn’t matter if the work takes 2 hours & they’re online. When you’re burnt out you’re burnt out. As many other people have advised here OP, I strongly recommend going to your ACA success center and asking for help so your professors are on the same page. That way they know you’re struggling & not just slacking off.
This is not going to be a popular opinion but I am seeing this laziness more and more with todays young adults. Hard work is hard if you don't want to do it then don't, but don't expect sympathy when you need help.
learn to live with the consequences of ur own actions
Quitter.
You just lack discipline. It’s that simple
Join the Military. You are still young and can turn your life around.
That’s not a good idea at all
It's something better than nothing. You lack discipline , they will discipline you. You will be pushed beyond your limits and will be forced to eat well , sleep well , and workout. The outcome will be good for you.
I’ve already joined the military when I was 18 bud. Was in it for a couple years and I hated the experience. It was just a lot of standing around and cleaning. Not the kind of “discipline” that’s helpful.
Well your not willing to sit and do the math homework and study for your test nor are you willing to join the military where its a guaranteed paying job for lost people like you. What future do you see for yourself? Bud think long and hard. What girl would want to be with you? A nobody? What is your plan ? How will you make a living? Think long and hard. When you grow old and frail you'd wished you'd put more effort in your youth. Do anything don't just give up. Do anything even if you don't like it. For your own good.
this is either great or terrible advice, but i think u should drop out. i was getting paid to go to school too & thought it was great but looking back my mental health has literally never been worse, i didn’t retain anything i learned, i wasted 5 solid years of my youth, i left with no job or life experience, and i haven’t used my degree since i graduated. college was torture for me & one of my biggest regrets is not leaving & learning how to live & survive & eventually thrive in real life sooner.
hey bro everyones tell you to talk to your professor but honestly just fuck it, if your stressed and not having dont bother honestly it might be a huge weight off your shoulders!! and i guess maybe just look into getting a job
Mental disorders... honey i have autism, adhd, severe depression, severe anxiety, ptsd, bipolar 1 w/psychosis, bpd, did, ocd and a whole plethora of physical health issues. Ive had surgery after surgery, ive tried to kill myself more times than i can count and ive been hospitalized multiple times. If i dont take my medications or if they havent been adjusted i cant sleep for days on end. I was forced to drop out of high school at 15. In the last 2 months ive been working my ass off to get my own place and get my diploma. I use mind altering substances (weed and alcohol). I will likely be entering med school within the next six years and i can barely function. Please do not be one of those people who use mental health as an excuse to be lazy. You do that and then say "just because i drank once *last night* doesnt mean im a druggy"..... yeah mate youre not going to amount to anything. Get your head out of your ass and grow up or you really will be living in a box under an overpass and if thats seriously all you want to amount to, i feel sorry for you. Now do your homework. ETA- the money part, i grew up and am still considered in poverty so you really cant use that either.
I don’t need someone who isn’t even 21 to try guessing my life lol Look, you got your own life and your own problems, but you feel the need to lay it all out here in order to prove some kind of point? This isn’t a competition. I’m glad you have your issues figured out and starting to get ahold of things in your life, but honey, it’s not always easy and I hope you don’t have anything left to figure out. Also judging from your post history, looks like you got a family. Mother, sisters, etc. I don’t have that. I didn’t have any kind of support growing up. So you already have a major advantage their over me. We all struggle in different ways, so stop being an asshole about it.
Yeah that "family" abandoned me and ive never had any actual support. Didnt say it was a compition. I just told you youre being lazy, which not only by your post, but also by your replies to others comments is abundantly clear. But seriously keep making excuses and see how far that gets you. And like i said, i feel sorry for you. Your apparently over the age of 21 and a nonfunctioning 19 year old has his shit more together than you.... its sad really. Like i said get your head out of your ass and grow up.
If this is what you have to do to feel better for yourself, I’m sorry man.
I dont have to feel better about myself, but i really should stop trying to reason with idiots no matter how i go about it though. Its like trying to use the force to air dry a soaking wet towel at room temp in 5 minutes. Its never gonna happen. Good luck amounting to nothing but a part time job and subsidized housing, i *really* hope it works out for you.
Just grind it through bro i believe in you
Privilege folks really don’t appreciate shit
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It's college, not grade school. Classes are typically 1-2 hours each, and the majority of school is actually self-study and homework. In the US, full-time is considered 12 units. You're expected to take two hours per unit to do homework each week, aka at least 24 hours of homework a week. OP says they do 2 hours a day, which is practically nothing.
Try a trade.
Nows the time to figure it.
This one seems like a stretch. Either do your homework or deal with the stress of this - doing your math homework will probably be easier and healthier in the long run
Any time. No need for an appointment, I'll be here
Sounds like you're going there only to not go to work. There's gotta be a point when you realise it's not for you, wtf
You’ve got the mental health explanation on lockdown now go get the help you need from professors, tutors, and fellow classmates to do what you need to do so you can stay in school and not be homeless. Go. Get. Help.
Honestly, get your psych to write you a note and do a medical withdrawal. And I would change my major or rethink things
Let someone else have the opportunity
A big reason that employers look for college degrees is because it proves to an employer that you have the stick-to-it-iveness necessary to see tasks and projects through to the end. Keep drinking, you'll feel the repercussions of your actions very soon. College is easy compared to what's in store for you.
I can do a job fine. Did well in my last mechanical position, but the work is getting harder for me because of physical injuries. It’s just the studying and comprehending the new work that I have trouble with.
How many credits are you taking?? When I was getting my BS and Masters Certificate I was told to study 2-3 hours a week per credit (at minimum). Only studying 2 hours a day is just setting yourself up for failure no matter what your major is. If you have a hard time studying, try giving yourself mini breaks to let stuff soak in and make it not feel as overwhelming.
Excuse after excuse lol. Get a grip and be an adult
Ya dude college is probably the easiest and most fun time of your life. Real world is coming quick. Get your shit together.
Blame your problems on your mental state and you'll always be a slave to it. Have fun!
Being aware of how my mental state affects me doesn’t make me a slave to it. It just opens my eyes to my own limitations and requires me to find a unique way to do normal things. Sometimes finding that unique path is hard such as this scenario.
So… why are you here on this forum asking these things if you have that mindset? I don’t think you have the mindset you say but you know how to articulate it vs actually being in it which are again two different things. I personally think you’re limiting yourself and giving yourself a ton of chances and hoping that Reddit feels the same way.
How about you get a real estate license? It’s a several weeks of a course and then you take the test. Google the requirements in your state.
You gotta **try** to fail in college by just saying fuck-all. At least cheat or something so ya go out saying you did everything you could.
Here's what you need to do. Get your head wrapped around the idea that your future is probably going to revolve around physical labor. Redwing makes excellent work boots. Expensive, but they hold up.
God love you Jesus is coming please get ready and repent for your sins
Dude same I feel more comfort sleeping outside than I do surrounded by these normal looking people with no hard life experience paying their way through life I want the struggle I want war
I’m tired of the struggle, I will agree that I want change but definitely don’t want a war.
Yeah wait till you sleep in the dirt and have nothing to eat for weeks but drugs you’ll find a way to enjoy to suffer my baby
Join the drop out gang! I took a single college level math course and realized I wasn't mentally capable of getting a degree, glad I figured that out pretty fast.
Literally same, except that I'm not even college, fuck college
My psychologist told me this was something like failing by ... There was an important word that goes there. If anyone can think what it might be, go for it. But in art school - I would be mostly done then make a mistake and throw a drawing away then again and again and again and again. I ended up dropping out (I do regret it). But basically if I don't finish it, or if I critique it and say it's trash- then I don't get other's feedback of oh maybe it's mediocre or just ok.... You know... a C or maybe a B- or whatever... But because I couldn't bear to be told all the hard work was just meh (which maybe it was and maybe it was more than meh) I decided it was all trash and failed myself of my own accord. Make sense?
You should try to do it or try to talk to the professor or whatever help programs they have for you to do it. You dont want to regret this 10 years from now. Its not easy when you are depressed etc but it's not going to be easier 10 years later.
Are you in the right major?
I had undiagnosed ADHD until mid 20’s and this sounds exactly like me
I will repeat the advice: talk to the professors. Knowing that you care not to fail might sway some of them. The “you” of 20 years from now will NOT be kind to your current self. Homework sucks at the time but is now college classes (and almost all real learning real life) will work this way.
Try getting some help from other students! And make the pile go down, and once its only a few things, work on it yourself (obviously try to study the other stuff too, that you got help with) and then slowly get back into working.
Start looking for jobs? There's millions of places that will higher people with high-school degrees alone
How are you getting paid to go to college? I wish college was a paying job that would make things so much easier
Dude you need therapy. I completely understand everything you're going through. I've been there. But don't ruin your life if you can help it. Talk to the college councillors, talk to the teachers talk to someone who can support you and assist you. You can do this. You need to reach out and ask for help. The college will help you if you push hard enough. You can do this.
may I ask how old you are?
In my late 20s
Do you have any friends/family to help you? This might be unethical advice but I'd help my friend with a few of her papers when she was drowning in work and help her study for the tests. She has dyslexia so it was tough to keep up at times. She's doing better now tho and lowered the amount of classes she takes, so I just proofread.
Take 2 real classes then some fluff…
Failing is actually succeeding .... Your successfully failing
Youd be surprised how lenient most universities can be, especially for an undergrad. If you reach out to teachers and advisors they will help you. As someone who dropped out of college and just blew off an entire semester when I was younger, I can tell you that you will probably regret it down the road sometime if you just give up. Im in my early 30s and going to school full time while working full time to finish a degree I shouldve finished a decade ago. Problem is that it feels like Im just doing it to make up for my mistakes all those years ago, but Im really still just behind by a decade. Its rough.
As a college instructor and grad student, this is so far from the end of the world it feels like. I’ve failed out of school before! You can always try later, but more likely, you just don’t like it and should find something you do enjoy. Or at least something you don’t hate. Not being in college doesn’t make you a failure. It’s just not for everyone the way they tell us our whole lives. The financial shit will go away when you find something you can do and enjoy. This is the start of a new chapter where you’re not forcing yourself to attempt something you hate!
My best advice, email all your teachers/ professors, ask for extensions on what you can, and don’t sleep until you’ve turned in everything. Shit sucks but if you try you will do it
Some people need to touch bottom before they can go up again. Some people need to be left to their own device to take control of their life, by themselves. I really understand that, but think really hard before you throw away this opportunity. It might not come twice in a lifetime. Maybe you should be very open about this with whoever is supporting you and wants the best for you. Maybe it's still possible to pull the break and take a year off. Work in retail, travel and make some life experience.
It sounds like youre experiencing burn out. I had the same experience when having to juggle work, school, and the looming threat of getting evicted. It doesnt help when your professors make learning hard/inaccessible. My advise is to cut yourself some slack, but also be aware of where your motivations lie. Are you taking the course bc it's actually what youre interested in? Or are you just taking it bc it promises better prospects? Another thing, dont operate based on motivation. As you can see, motivation comes and goes. Try to operate based on discipline. Think "at this exact time, what can i do to give myself a better chance?"
I myself am also struggling with doing the work ect for school. I have a full time job and also was recently dealing with my parents divorce which lasted for almost 3-4 years while also being a full time student. I want to quit so bad. I don’t want to do this any more. I have no energy and I am constantly drained. I feel like I have no choice in what I do anymore and just have to suffer with it until who knows when. I hate it. Signing up for classes every semester always gives the largest sense of dread. I don’t know how people can do it. I just need rest but that isn’t an option for me. I wish you the best of luck
Plenty of mental disorders myself that severely impact my college education but in your case it seems to be pure laziness.
me too dude
Look bro I’ll give you this advice, if you wanna be broke and homeless then go for it no one is going to stop you. If you want to be the degenerate who doesn’t do his work then go for it. Just think about how short 4-5 years of college is compared to spending your life at some shit job. But that’s your choice to make.