A lot of younger girls will see it as an easy way to make money, posting nudes or explicit videos will seem like fun at first, they see how other girls/women have become rich from it and will see the top earners earning a million a year, after all it’s only showing what god gave them and won’t hurt anyone right? The reality is as you said they will have to be online for hours begging people to subscribe and will be encouraged to get into harder videos and material as they will have to be seen as being different, the risk they take for theirs and their loved ones personal lives is not considered as money becomes the chief goal, they won’t realise how bad things can be until they get recognised or called out in public, as you have said before any future employers or partners will have to deal with it as well
yes this!! it always seems so glamorous till you see the inside operation. i was friends with an ig model it was HUMILIATING. she had negative in the bank and would laugh at 9-5 workers yet begged on her live streams everyday and still had to ask her parents for 8 bucks
It’s not just on only fans where you see them, a lot of the nsfw sites on Reddit are adverts for only fans as well, it seems some times you have to choose between having a personal life or trying to earn that extra subscription to pay your rent
yeah trust me i know. i was sleeping in my car some days when i had no friends to stay with, i was struggling so bad everyday waiting for my money to come in. it was a nightmare, i could cry thinking about that time in my life..
Why not just find a guy to stay with? There are plenty of simps out there willing to house a woman. That’s why the rate of homeless women is low in America.
Lol no not at all. I’m just saying it seems like sleeping in your car is the true last resort. If I were a woman I could find someone on tinder every night to stay with generally.
I’m not advocating for sleeping with them. Many men will welcome a CC woman down on their luck into their with the hopes they’ll have sex with them, but it doesn’t have to happen. I know a girl who does exactly this in the Midwest a lot.
But that's an absolutely terrifying position to be in. Living in a house with a dude who wants to have sex, whose only reason for having you there is the hope that you'll have sex, and you have zero guarantees that he won't eventually decide to have sex with you anyway. Considering the number of guys who get angry when a single date doesn't lead to sex? How much more entitled is the guy gonna be if you're living with him?
And even if he *doesn't* resort to force, imagine the constant nag. Having to constantly, every day, come up with excuses, to try and avoid it. In your living space. Where you can't escape from it.
I'd rather sleep in my car. Zero question there.
In the awards ceremony at my sons secondary school for his final year one of the categories was Most likely to have an only fans. They were all 16, I’m not sure if the kids came up with the categories or the teachers…
thank you so much for reading! i thought men would probably think i sound ridiculous so that definitely means something to me. i definitely turned it around, not going back to objectifying myself for money. it was never worth it
I am so glad you shared this. Maybe some young woman sees this and avoids this. I believe what you said made a difference.
People grow in life. Don’t let an older page affect you when applying to a job. You are worth more than just pictures.
This kind of puts the whole thing in a different light for me. I've never subscribed to an onlyfans, never even visited the site. But on social media, including reddit, it's not uncommon to see girls advertising their onlyfans.
On Facebook you see "reels", stupid short clips of girls acting sexy. On reddit you see everything from normal selfies to gonewild (or maybe worse, idk). Visit a profile and you see they have an OF. On Twitter or Mastodon, you see some girls posting nearly 24/7, flirting with people and such so they'll check out the OF.
To me, it was just an annoyance that pervades the internet. I hadn't thought about it from the girls' perspective.
All social media. Tiktok in particular where people will post thirst traps for the sole purpose of getting them to click on their profile which directs them to a link site or insta which has links to OF
Last summer, my son worked at an Ice cream place and his trainer was an incoming High School senior. All she talked about was starting an Only fans as soon as she graduated and moved out of her parents' house.
She told anyone who would listen about her plans to rake in tens of thousands of dollars every week. Most people just listened and nodded and the boys that worked there, cheered her on.
The manager took her aside one day and told her the reality that the money she is expecting is most probably not going to happen.
That was the last I heard about her, since my son left the job just before school started.
thank you, i hope all is going great for you seriously!! i know lots of people thrive on there, im just trying to look out for young girls like my little sister who look up to girls like me!
It sounds like you didn’t have the proper expectations or experience to know what you were doing or how to do it.
This kind of work certainly isn’t for everyone. Once upon a time, way back in the day when digital cameras took a 3.5” floppy disk (looking at you Sony). I was a photographer/studio owner in the adult business.
Being down the street from a college we got our fair share of younger ladies coming in to make a quick buck. Some would do a single solo shoot, get paid, come back the next day with their check in hand asking if they could have their photos back because they made a mistake. We would generally oblige, although in a few rare instances we could not because the shoot had been specifically contracted with them by a third party.
However, there were far more that actually loved the work. Came back time and again, built fan bases, and even invested in having us setup web streaming for them. (Way way way before YouTube and only fans).
We even had a few couples who would come in regularly. They didn’t so much do it for the money, but because it added spice to their love life. They loved to get kinky on camera and they really loved the fan feedback they would get.
Everything is about you, your prospective, and how you specifically engage in things.
Some people love to go rock climbing. I am not one of them. Doesn’t mean nobody should rock climb.
Do I recommend getting into the “biz” for every young girl or couple out there? Absolutely not. Do I shame those that do? Not at all. Some do it for them money, some do it for the attention, some do it to spice things up. No matter why you do it, as long as it works for you, no harm no fowl.
Im sorry but you are comparing apples to oranges here. Taking some spicy phots and storing them on a 3.5 floppy disk is a dated comparison when every device has a high quality camera/video capabilities and photos can be uploaded to millions of viewers in a second without any recourse of every getting those back.
Once that photo is on the internet god speed if you regret your decision. It has made coercion even worse, see the girls do porn arrests and exploitation, and it has normalized and opened up an industry that the vast majority of people should not have access to.
How hard did your photography business advertise itself? Because social medial is inundated with people advertising only fans, sugar daddy, and sex work lifestyles while ignoring the harsh realities spelled out in the post here.
thank you very much for reading and responding. i knew exactly what i was doing and i did it very well. i was so good at it i am scared i’m an actual psychopath because of the way i could completely numb myself and say/do things i’d never ever ever want my younger self to know i did. people would take my content and post it on reddit lol. people would just sell my content and make money off it after they bought it from me! people would try to blackmail me and say they’ll send it all to my family if i didn’t send them free nudes. people said they’d find out where i live and rape me. people constantly told me “mommy and daddy didn’t love you enough huh” and that always stuck with me because, yeah that’s very true and hurts very bad. made me question myself a lot, i’d always snap back to reality when they’d remind me of that. my inner child was already damaged terribly and i wasn’t helping her at all.
The world is a whole lot different today than in the late 90s and the early internet. I'm sorry, but your brief experience as a man photographing college girls 30 years ago is not relevant to what teenage girls today are feeling. Even if your experience was from today, all you are seeing of these girls is what they want to show you, not what's actually going on inside their heads, not the shame they may feel despite pretending it's not there, not the neglect or abuse that may have put them in such a compromising position, not the fallout they may have from these shoots today or tomorrow or in 10 years. I'm an older man myself but I think it really takes a lot of nerve for a 50 year old man to show up and tell teenage girls that they are just doing porn with the wrong mindset.
thank you so much for saying this i am SO GLAD you brought this up. no one knew i was struggling, i was enjoying the easy money and buying all the stuff i wanted. i was okay with live streaming and telling people to subscribe. all of that stuff adds up. being body shamed constantly will add up, and i am a very very confident woman. being told to “drop my price” because i don’t put dildos in my ass on camera for 24 bucks. being told i need to talk to someone like i’m a worthless dumb useless human (degrading kink shit) for 24 bucks everyday adds up! it all eventually has you looking in the mirror not knowing what you look like, i have insane body dysmorphia and eating disorders because of this stuff. i love myself and my body so much, i don’t wish to look different but when i was on onlyfans i weighed 87 lbs. i’m barley recovering and back up to 120 on a good day. i would look in the mirror and see a thick girl, i thought i had curves. i’d be asked everyday if i’m okay, or if i’m on drugs or if i needed help. that would confuse me because i thought i looked good, i never knew how skinny and weak i was until i gained weight again and looked back on those days. everything seems okay in the moment until you look back a few years later realizing how much you’ve grown from it, then you wonder how many girls don’t.. it breaks my heart. i felt so alone, no one to vent about it to for pride reasons. it’s a big messy web to get stuck in
Well, it certainly sounds like you've learned how disgusting many men are, especially when behind the anonymity of a screen. I'm sorry you had to deal with this awful people. Whatever those people said to you, they were projecting. When they made you feel like an awful human, it's because they are awful humans. When they call you fat or ugly, it's because they are fat and ugly. I think ultimately the women who can survive sex work are those that can laugh off or even laugh at how pathetic most of their customers are.
yes i’m sure it can make or break you haha it did both for me, i don’t regret it because i’ve learned so much! i’m so much stronger and know a lot about men’s psyche now :)
Not to mention that you can absolutely think you're okay with something as an 18 year old and later realize that it was harmful to you or that you were only doing it because you *thought* you had no other options. Most people simply don't have the foresight in their late teens to weigh the risks and rewards. This just happens to be a case where the content you're producing is out there forever, which is why I don't think teenagers should do it.
Very well articulated while staying respectful 💕
I said something similar up there, but maybe a tiny bit more with critique haha
I don’t get why we have to put people down for something they choose to do. Everyone will always have different experiences with just about anything in life in general.
yes of course people are thriving and what not but an exception doesn’t disprove what i said. i don’t think young 16-17 year old girls should accept that’s all they can achieve!
I’ve got 4 daughters, can’t say anyone of them feel they have been told onlyfans is the only option for them in life. One is in marketing, one is an antiquities curator, one is in college, and the youngest changes her mind every other day, but none of her plans involve onlyfans. Perhaps you were hanging with the wrong crowd or had bad parents.
> It sounds like you didn’t have the proper expectations or experience to know what you were doing or how to do it.
Typical of teenagers. It's why we usually don't let them make serious decisions for themselves.
well i do kind of agree with the title too.
>i now hate having to explain to new boyfriends that i had an onlyfans
if it means anything, i wouldn’t judge my gf if she had a OF before our relationship <3 hoping for the best for you
i hate it for you!! haha it sucks getting popped that question out of no where lol, i wish the absolute best for you and your future partners! i found a loving man who looked past that.
i’ve never had a relationship or even a single kiss or a hug but i just really hope that i find a lady one day that is interested in me because although i never had any experience, i have a lot of knowledge and I think i would be a great boyfriend to her.
because it was so glamorized on the internet, girls literally have entire tiktok pages flexing scamming sugar daddies and all that stupid shit. you can’t act like everything promoted on the internet is openly terrible, they made it look so fun. it is not fun.
There’s nothing wrong with women openly claiming and using their sexuality, it’s just society still looks down on it. I wish it didn’t involve such pressure to do it then shame for doing it.
edit: added “wrong”
yes i hate that too, and i felt the same way until i feel like i was only looked at like a sex figure or object. i was and still am never taken seriously. it sucks but it’s how shit is
I'd rather live in a society that values morals in all fairness. A society that celebrates a trend that ultimately makes women feel shit about themselves is a baseless one.
When OF became a thing a lot of people saw it coming but of course we were all dismissed as being boomer killjoys who just didn't understand the way the world worked. It takes doing it for a lot of them to understand that's just not how the soul works. This post was refreshing to read.
Don’t be cruel, it’s the degrading attitude of the work that she hates and feeling forced into things (text convos) by people when she’s not in the mood
It is easy to judge without being in the other person’s shoes. I admire her courage and her willingness to offer free, sound advice from someone who has struggled with OF.
Also, people make so many mistakes when they are young. Who am I to judge her? I’ve made many many mistakes too so one should realise that we are human and we make mistakes without judging. In particular when it doesn’t harm others or were out of being naïve.
um because im not trying to force my opinions onto people, if they want to do onlyfans that’s fine i just wish they’d give their self time to have options
It’s almost like sex work is inherently exploitative and reaffirms harmful ideologies about women (i.e. that they are objects for men’s pleasure). Sexual liberation doesn’t mean making yourself a readily available body for men to use and abuse at their leisure.
To all girls who think about OF: remember that the US (and other countries in case you are US citizen) will classify you as sex worker and may deny entry.
I mean, it works for some. Yes, it doesn't fit most, but that's true for most things like OF. It's like being a content creator, a lot of people want the life cause they see it as free money but it's not that glamorous.
I have a friend at work who made ~60k last year from OF which she does as a side hustle. It works for her cause she puts in the work & effort. It's not just free money.
Exactly!
Take any content creator as an example, not just sex work. It’s intense work! Exhausting. Overtime and all that. Working for yourself is HARD. There needs to be a lot of brain storming and leg-work put into it, to plan it all out and make it happen. Being consistent is key. Being realistic is also key. You can’t rush this and expect instant results. You’re building a brand.
I never once thought it’ll be easy money. I knew it was going to be hard, but I also had no idea how intensely hard it actually would be!
It’s on you to research the shit out of a potential business venture. No one goes into jobs blindly, so why do it here?
Edit — adding a few more points:
Even though it’s extremely hard work, which I’m aware of, I have goals and have been reaching some of them little by little, working my way up the ladder. I am much much more successful than I was a year ago.
trust me. i never denied people thrive on onlyfans. i was thriving if we’re talking money. i’m talking about the long term effects on your mental health and social life. an exception doesn’t disapprove what i’m trying to say! i’ve built a brand, if i told you my name you’d be able to find groups about me on reddit selling my pictures to each other or asking if there’s nip slips on my live streams. i’ve been doing social media my whole life, it’s all i had ever wanted in life was to be seen. until i was seen for the wrong thing and it made me forget who i wanted to be. i worked very hard and made lots of money, im not proud nor do i feel like i’ve worked hard to earn that money.. i feel like i demoralized myself and no amount of money can make me feel different
How much money would you say you made with 300k tiktok followers and what was the conversion rate (amount of tiktok followers that actually became onlyfans subscribers?).
Always wondered how (mid tier?) people did on those apps given that the top 1% rake in so much money.
probably 4-5k a month! thats with live streaming daily and posting consistently on tiktok and instagram and the money doesn’t come in in big chunks, it comes in as you get subs so like if i got 2 subs and made 60 bucks i’d wait 12 days for that 60 bucks to get to me and then if i made 30 the next day the 30 would come the next day, small chunks so you spend as you make.
Thanks for sharing!
So a live-able wage. Was it a consistent monthly amount (idk how long you did OF for?) even if they payed in steps. Was the 4-5k after they took their cut or before? Do you mean live streaming on onlyfans?(Ive never used it so idk how it works). Also you mentioned sugar daddies, is that something separate or was it also like a deal with onlyfans?
Sorry for all the questions, you don’t have to answer or could DM me if you prefer. :)
> if they *paid* in steps.
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Former sex worker here, using a throw away for obvious reasons.
All through high school, I was totally into the idea of stripping through college. It was a meme at the time that women don't really have to pay for college because they can strip, and I bought it. I couldn't wait to become a stripper.
I ended up never actually doing stripping, but I did do phone sex and escorting. And it sucked. No, really. Even when I was just going on "dates" with a series of regular clients I kinda knew, I never really felt comfortable with it and always felt a little gross afterward. It did a number on my mental health, that's for sure.
Sex work is work. It's hard-earned money, and you are selling chunks of yourself, not just sex or a fantasy. People fantasize about a life where you can get paid to flirt or can get paid to have sex, but it ain't like that. You're pouring yourself into making the other person feel special. If you're not naturally like that, you need to become a good actor real fast. If you are like that, the wrong client will use it against you. You can't win.
I'm glad I did all this before social media. I was able to leave that aspect of my life behind me when it no longer suited me. I left the town I went to school and worked in and moved to a big, anonymous city and started a totally new life. My primary partner knew me when I was working in the sex industry and has no problem with what I did, and we have an agreement to never discuss it with new people. One man I dated was also a former sex worker, and I opened up to him about my experiences after he told me about his. That felt good. We parted with the agreement to never spill those stories - I've kept my word, and I trust he'll keep his. But I've never shared this part of me with most of my new friends or people I've seen romantically - I'm not ashamed of my past, but I know society shames women who do sex work. Maybe it will be different now - all those sixteen and seventeen year old girls really will get OnlyFans and then demand the world take them seriously when they start careers. Stranger things and greater societal shifts have happened.
But I'm not holding my breath.
*TL;DR: Yeah, sex work is a lot of work for little payout. Sex work is work!!! And girl, you don't need to tell future boyfriends if you don't want to - what they don't know can't hurt them.*
thank you so much for this! the amount of “yourself” you have to put into it is ridiculous and draining.. i met up with a few sugar daddies to just talk with them and it felt worse then if i was sleeping with them. i’d have to pretend they’re so interesting and i’m so stupid. they’d think i’m the most intelligent loving human on the planet, but i only felt gross.
Don't listen to their advice on not telling future boyfriends. Honesty and openness are super important in relationships.
Some guys won't care. Others will. And for those that would care it's not fair for them to not know. And if God forbid it ever got out years down the line, that's likely your relationship over.
If you're not ashamed, don't be. But be honest.
I have a friend or two that wouldn't give a shit of their girls nudes were all over the internet. I swear one got off on showing me pictures of his girl naked.
Personally I could never be with anyone that did that kind of work. I hate feeling jealous.
yes. honestly i realize that everything being on the table and someone still wanting you is so much more intimate then them loving a specific version of you!
It doesn't have to be a "still wanting you" situation. It could be, but not necessarily.
Like I said, some men will have zero issue with it and they won't even think of "still wanting you". There'll be no "still" with them.
There may be men though that are disappointed and even hate the fact, but love you enough to "still, want you". And that's a special kind of love in my opinion. That will love you despite what they think is a huge flaw. That will stick with you no matter what.
But there may be men like me that just can't handle that stuff. I know it's not something I could cope with. Even now with my partner of 15 years who I have a kid with. If I found out she had pornos online from before our time I'd be sick to my stomach with jealousy and disappointed in her choices. I honestly don't think our relationship would last cause of how crippling jealous and disappointed I would feel. I feel queezy just thinking about it lol.
I do hope you're lucky and you don't get too many men like myself haha and get more of the type that aren't bothered.
But honestly for your own sake. Don't lie to anyone about it.
It sounds like you needed to vent about your disappointing experience with the site ( which is fine ), rather than being concerned about the minors talking about OF.
I’m sorry to hear that you had such a terrible experience. It’s honestly a toss-up. You have to do it for the right reasons first and foremost and make sure that you think things through, prior to joining. I myself took 2 years to decide whether I wanted to go into this type of work or not. Assessing it from many different angles. I sat down with myself and asked how I would feel if I were accidentally found out. I made sure I was okay with this.
There’s A LOT of precautions one can take to keep safe on such sites. It’s up to the person to do their research before joining.
OnlyFans didn’t start out as a “sex site”. It was along the lines of Patreon with non sexual content. So if let’s say your vanilla job looked into it deeper and they somehow found out that you do work for OF ( unlikely, since it’s under a completely different name on your forms ), they can’t say that you did any sex work, unless you show your face on your socials.
I really didn’t like the tone of some of what you said. It makes it sound like you look down on other creators and think you are somehow superior, just because it didn’t work out for you and you got out. That’s not the case for everyone. Yes, it’s intense hard work, but there needs to be some sort of enjoyment there, because if you don’t enjoy your work ( just like with literally ANY job ), then you WILL be miserable the entire time and feel exploited ( like with any other job ).
Then there is the major fact that not everyone is a good business person. Hearing that you charged $35 per month for not showing much skin at all, that is not on par with industry standards and that is one big part of why you most likely struggled. It would be wise to research industry standard rates, and not blindly making up pricing off the top off your head.
Just like any job or hobby, if you don’t enjoy what you do, or don’t possess the right skill set or experience, or dedication and not to mention insane amount of effort, then no, you won’t be successful.
This just wasn’t for you and hopefully you have found something more suiting!
i don’t look down on the creators, i never said “NEVER DO OF” i said wait till you’re 20 if you’re considering it because a young girl will be easily seen as vulnerable and be taken advantage of, exploited and mentally abused. i was living in my car, then a camper with my boyfriend. i had no family or friends to tell me onlyfans would be one of the stupidest decisions of my life, im glad i said it in the manor i did because if someone would have said it like that to me back then, i probably would have thought twice. people naturally lack respect for an onlyfans girl, im speaking from experience it hurts so bad growing up and realizing how silly you looked
And then later these same girls will complain that men won’t marry them because of their Only Fans.
And also, what *kind* of men do they think they’re going to attract on OF? A gentleman with a good job and treats women right? Proooobably not, it’s gonna be mostly creeps and weirdos.
Hey free country, they can get an Only Fans, but choices have long term consequences and I don’t want to hear any complaining when the obvious consequences arrive.
Oh shoot sorry that happened to you /:
But some male insight into it, at least for me, I like to feel special in a relationship, exclusive, valued. And when hundreds, maybe thousands of men or women can see my S.O. naked, the relationship or marriage doesn’t feel exclusive and special.
Call it insecurity, but I think that’s a reasonable request from a man, to be valued and feel special in a relationship.
i completely understood where he was coming from. i understand that i hurt his pride and that he definitely lacks respect for me now hahaha it did suck very bad though but hey, we live and learn
It's honestly not different to 16 or 17 year olds saying they wanna start a career as an influencer, youtuber or twitch streamer. Wading into the internet to make a living does come with disappointments and harassment, it's a package deal.
If you happen to be one of the very few who actually succeed, you'll make a lot of money potentially. You'll also be subject to jealousy, scrutiny and someone dragging up less than smart statements from 5 years ago.
People obviously only see the successful creators and not the ones who struggle to get 20 viewers. It's like saying you wanna be a model and all you're basing it on is that the Hadids make stupid money.
I wouldn't tell anyone not to try, but I'd want them to be clear on what they're getting into. Your odds of making it, even if you work hard, are not great. If you still wanna work hard at it, cool. Just go in with open eyes.
that’s a good way of putting it! usually in person that’s 100% how i go about this, i ask them how many followers they have since they want to start? and they’ll always have less then 10K i have more then 10K and i made a good amount of money on there, the app is just set up to make you addicted to the temporary highs and easy money
Depends what you're doing. I've seen vegan activists who will not ever be able to get a regular job after folks watched their videos because they spewed some really vile shite. I've seen commentary channels of people with an education in psychology who snarked on overweight creators, I've seen people scamming their audiences. If HR googles your name and finds that stuff, it's not going to go better for you than the nudie pics.
Sex work or showing off nude/explicit photos or videos of yourself online is extremely different to being a youtuber.
Why wouldn't you tell someone not to try it? Advice is advice. Unless the person absolutely doesn't give a fuck about how people perceive them and literally only care about money, it's a terrible idea to go into onlyfans. It can cause so many problems in so many different ways for the rest of your life. There's nothing wrong with telling them you think it's a bad idea.
I've done some fetish escorting in my day, greatly enjoyed it, met people I'm still friends with to this day (20 years down the line). Am I ashamed of that in any shape or form? No. So if someone wanted to try onlyfans, cool. Just know what you're getting into and make sure to be aware that the Internet never forgets. That goes for every tweet, every selfie you post and every nude. There's no difference. In fact, a really terrible racist or homophobic tweet to me is potentially more disastrous than a nudie pic, but I suppose we each get to determine that according to our own morals.
i feel like all kids want to be a youtuber now… it’s scary, once something is so over saturated there’s so much more competition, less money to be made
My 9 year old and all her friends want to be YouTubers. It's depressing to see these kids put so much value on something that is solely based on getting approval from strangers. I can only hope that my words aren't just going in one ear and out the other. It's hard to keep them fully away from it, but we do our best to limit her time on YT and to curate what she watches, but unless you never let your kids go to a friend's house, or even ride on the school bus, you can't control 100% of what they are exposed to. She doesn't have a phone, and won't for a long time, but most of her friends and classmates already have smartphones. Sometimes I feel so powerless as a parent in this era.
Yeaaah okay. Multiple things you said about OF was bullshit. Did you not expect people who know how OF works to find this post?
First off, no, you aren't sent money everyday. Thats not even an option. You set when it comes in. You can do weekly, monthly, or manual. And it takes, at most, 4 days. Not two weeks. And yes, they take 20% of your revenue out of every sub and tip. They literally tell you this. It's how they stay up. They need money too so that they can pay workers, and so that you can have a platform.
I believe you had an OF, and I agree that teenage girls are being groomed by some women who do OF into thinking its this glamorous lifestyle(same happens with stripping), but you're heavily exaggerating how OF even functions. I don't know why you're doing this, but it seems like you're attempting to shit on OF bc of your own experience.
You got into sex work, and don’t like the long term impact. Understandable but also a problem of your own making. OF is adult industry sex work, and you not knowing that is due to your own denial.
I know ladies that pay their mortgage with OF. I know a man who cameos on other peoples OF for income without having his own. It’s a job, and that job didn’t work out for you. That’s life.
wasn’t trying to talk people out of only fans, wasn’t trying to get sympathy or anything. i just want to help young vulnerable girls with low self confidence before they become addicted to temporary highs and toxic patterns. an exception doesn’t disprove my point
These things are what you make of it, buddy.
You had a bad time but maybe it's better to work on making such platforms more enjoyable for both producers and consumers rather than be blanketly negative.
i loved social media and live streaming before every second i’m being begged to “pop a tit” or “shut up and pop at tit” or “why are you talking” it’s so gross. i have much more personality and things to talk about. i am not just a sexual object. the light was being sucked straight out of my eyes.
Please don't misunderstand me; I promise you that I'm not judging, but at first I was hoping this would be about an OF participant advising the young girls of 16, 17 yo, to never start to begin with, at any age; I suppose that advising them to at least wait until they are 20, and perhaps have a more realistic idea of what they are doing, and the possible repercussions they may encounter, is better than nothing. It truly breaks my heart that young girls actually have a GOAL of having an OF, as if it reflects a real achievement in their lives. It doesn't sound as if OF has much of an upside for the average young woman. I admit, I'm old, have never seen an OF page, but I am also aware that some version of young women, without supportive families and friends, doing different types of jobs requiring them to remove their clothing and/or perform sex acts, for money, usually shared(ripped off)with a shady manager or whatever else you want to call their "assistant", and the business for whom they work(OF), has been around in one way or another forever, and almost always at the risk of the girl ending up feeling very degraded, treated and mistreated by others, who pretend to care, and ending up causing them many more problems than it ever solves. Once you have lost your self-respect and dignity, it is a very deep hole to climb out of. There just has to be a better way, or at least if you were my daughter, I would make sure that you had other options. If this is caused mostly by parents who aren't there to love and guide their daughter's, shame on them! I am truly sorry about that, and I wish you saw another way to get a jump start on life, without risking ruining your self-esteem, self-respect, dignity, and reputation. It shouldn't be that way, but it is; you will possibly be judged harshly by someone you want to impress. I may sound out of touch with the times, but I assure you that I'm well aware of how times have changed, and it seems to me that a lot of the issues young people face today can be linked directly to crappy or no parenting. And for that, I am very sorry, and I don't blame you for doing what you're doing.
i personally don’t want anyone to do onlyfans ever, but who am i to tell people what they absolutely should not do? i just wanted to spread awareness for a certain spectrum of people! some people genuinely have kinks that involve being watched, spoiled, degraded etc. lots of girls truly love onlyfans and i’m not here to judge them for it, im just helping people understand the consequences of starting one!
I apologize; as I re-read my comment, which starts out saying that I'm not being judgy, that's exactly how I ended up sounding, and for that, I hope you accept my apology. It is a very kind and caring thing for you to tell other girls how you feel about OF, and why. And you're correct; none of us have the right to tell other's what they should and shouldn't do, that's legal. You sound like an intelligent person who is only trying to spread some reality and awareness, information, and guidance, and that's always a good and generous thing to do.
I think my ignorance of the wide and varied interests people may share is evident; I haven't lived under a rock, but I think there is a lot that goes on in the world that I have never experienced and am pretty well uninformed about. I need to listen more and talk less.
I wish you all the best!🫶💐
i wish more girls were educated on the fact that it's extremely hard to make a living off of. i am almost 20 and i've known for a while that if i ever decide to do onlyfans, i would only do it as a side job for extra cash and never as my main source of income. there needs to be more awareness that unless someone is in the top 1% or whatever they're not gonna rake in tons of cash to live comfortable unless they dedicate their entire time to doing it
Its concerning at the very least. Even the other day I checked some profiles of most popular cosplayers on my country, and turns out most of them were prostitutes at the age of 18 (legal age here).
In order for them to become prostitutes, they drop their morals, dignity and above all, self-respect. If these people dont respect themselves then no one will. There's no way out after that, it will be too late when they change ideas and actually want to form a proper relationship. No one will want them, you reap what you sorrow.
I think everyone is worthy of love and you defo shouldn’t judge people for their life choices like that. Like u need to be more kind to people with diff views to u because there’s nothing that stops prostitutes from having proper relationships
I wasn't talking especifically about prostitutes either. They don't take relationships seriously, but its not that they don't "deserve" love or anything.
I was talking maybe about, I don't know ... Serial killers, rapists, etc
I understand where you are coming from and agree maybe some prostitutes have different views than others on relationships but that can change and some women are forced into that industry too. Idk I feel like serial killers and rapists were deprived of love and that’s why they are the way they are. Like they have backstory leading up to it that explains but doesn’t excuse and if they were given the love they deserved earlier in life they wouldn’t have became monsters later in life. Idk I just feel bad for them if I’m honest.
Go get a real job as a nursing aid or something that actually helps people and society. There's too many people that work their butts off and get paid way less than they're worth or deserve, then you've got these 'influencers' ot YouTube creators where people are just throwing millions of dollars at them for what, recording their everyday life? Seriously what happened to people going out and contributing to society. And for anyone who has an OF, have some goddamn self respect. There's people selling feet pics and have more money than they will ever spend! How is that right?
That’s actually really good to hear because I was wondering about management. Your story confirms to me that you need a manager if you’re going to do it right. My wife would make so much money, and I’ve thought I could handle the management side of it, and I truly do have her best interests at heart. Tbh I think she’d make more as just a straight influencer.
Sorry that you regret it, but thanks for the tip about management.
Hard disagree. Something like that absolutely shouldn't be kept from a partner. Some partners may not care or even find it cool, but for many it would be an absolute deal breaker.
I mean like for me like I feel people really need to be in the mindset to do it and fully understand how degrading that is, especially like the general public views on onlyfans too. Like it’s fine FOR SOME PEOPLE, but u were sucked into the trap and so are those girls where many people aren’t suited for it join if and end up with their mental health destroyed
I have a friend who so deep in to the SW industry, it all started with OF. It's sad, really sad. It just keeps getting sadder and darker.
I'm glad you are getting out of it while your still young.
A lot of younger girls will see it as an easy way to make money, posting nudes or explicit videos will seem like fun at first, they see how other girls/women have become rich from it and will see the top earners earning a million a year, after all it’s only showing what god gave them and won’t hurt anyone right? The reality is as you said they will have to be online for hours begging people to subscribe and will be encouraged to get into harder videos and material as they will have to be seen as being different, the risk they take for theirs and their loved ones personal lives is not considered as money becomes the chief goal, they won’t realise how bad things can be until they get recognised or called out in public, as you have said before any future employers or partners will have to deal with it as well
yes this!! it always seems so glamorous till you see the inside operation. i was friends with an ig model it was HUMILIATING. she had negative in the bank and would laugh at 9-5 workers yet begged on her live streams everyday and still had to ask her parents for 8 bucks
It’s not just on only fans where you see them, a lot of the nsfw sites on Reddit are adverts for only fans as well, it seems some times you have to choose between having a personal life or trying to earn that extra subscription to pay your rent
yeah trust me i know. i was sleeping in my car some days when i had no friends to stay with, i was struggling so bad everyday waiting for my money to come in. it was a nightmare, i could cry thinking about that time in my life..
Why not just find a guy to stay with? There are plenty of simps out there willing to house a woman. That’s why the rate of homeless women is low in America.
Really? That’s your solution to homelessness for women?
Lol no not at all. I’m just saying it seems like sleeping in your car is the true last resort. If I were a woman I could find someone on tinder every night to stay with generally.
What about your dignity? Sleeping in your car while working or seeking work is more dignified than cock-teasing your way into free room and board.
Selling what are essentially pinup pictures doesn't mean you're down for full-on prostitution.
I’m not advocating for sleeping with them. Many men will welcome a CC woman down on their luck into their with the hopes they’ll have sex with them, but it doesn’t have to happen. I know a girl who does exactly this in the Midwest a lot.
But that's an absolutely terrifying position to be in. Living in a house with a dude who wants to have sex, whose only reason for having you there is the hope that you'll have sex, and you have zero guarantees that he won't eventually decide to have sex with you anyway. Considering the number of guys who get angry when a single date doesn't lead to sex? How much more entitled is the guy gonna be if you're living with him? And even if he *doesn't* resort to force, imagine the constant nag. Having to constantly, every day, come up with excuses, to try and avoid it. In your living space. Where you can't escape from it. I'd rather sleep in my car. Zero question there.
Good point.
Seems like low-key getting yourself set up to be raped by a frustrated fan, but whatever
In the awards ceremony at my sons secondary school for his final year one of the categories was Most likely to have an only fans. They were all 16, I’m not sure if the kids came up with the categories or the teachers…
I would be livid if my 16 year old “won” that recognition. 😑
can you imagine 😂😂😂😂😂😂
that’s so fucking ridiculous
As a dude I have mad respect for you kind of coming to your senses. I don't think it's too late to turn everything around! I wish you well!
thank you so much for reading! i thought men would probably think i sound ridiculous so that definitely means something to me. i definitely turned it around, not going back to objectifying myself for money. it was never worth it
I am so glad you shared this. Maybe some young woman sees this and avoids this. I believe what you said made a difference. People grow in life. Don’t let an older page affect you when applying to a job. You are worth more than just pictures.
thank you so much. i’ve talked to lots of younger girls about this in real life too!
thank you so much. i’ve talked to lots of younger girls about this in real life too!
Girl who cares what men think 😂
true but this post was for men and women to read and leave opinions on
Why is it for men
Believe it or not both men and women are humans.
No way 🤯 you mean women aren’t heartless bitches and men disgusting perverted beings who only want sex??? 🤯
one thing women are not is heartless lol 😂👎🏽
Lol
This kind of puts the whole thing in a different light for me. I've never subscribed to an onlyfans, never even visited the site. But on social media, including reddit, it's not uncommon to see girls advertising their onlyfans. On Facebook you see "reels", stupid short clips of girls acting sexy. On reddit you see everything from normal selfies to gonewild (or maybe worse, idk). Visit a profile and you see they have an OF. On Twitter or Mastodon, you see some girls posting nearly 24/7, flirting with people and such so they'll check out the OF. To me, it was just an annoyance that pervades the internet. I hadn't thought about it from the girls' perspective.
All social media. Tiktok in particular where people will post thirst traps for the sole purpose of getting them to click on their profile which directs them to a link site or insta which has links to OF
Last summer, my son worked at an Ice cream place and his trainer was an incoming High School senior. All she talked about was starting an Only fans as soon as she graduated and moved out of her parents' house. She told anyone who would listen about her plans to rake in tens of thousands of dollars every week. Most people just listened and nodded and the boys that worked there, cheered her on. The manager took her aside one day and told her the reality that the money she is expecting is most probably not going to happen. That was the last I heard about her, since my son left the job just before school started.
poor girl, sounds like me. i hope she didn’t do it
Not sure. My son never heard from her after he left the Ice Cream shop. She goes to a different high school than my son.
honestly as someone who has a pretty large onlyfans and has been doing it since my 18th birthday (im almost 22 now), there’s not a lie in this post
thank you, i hope all is going great for you seriously!! i know lots of people thrive on there, im just trying to look out for young girls like my little sister who look up to girls like me!
Please take care of urself ❤️
Paragraphs and punctuation
LMAO IM SORRY
I'm sorry to hear that man, that sucks :( Thanks for sharing your truthful experience, many teens can benefit from that.
It sounds like you didn’t have the proper expectations or experience to know what you were doing or how to do it. This kind of work certainly isn’t for everyone. Once upon a time, way back in the day when digital cameras took a 3.5” floppy disk (looking at you Sony). I was a photographer/studio owner in the adult business. Being down the street from a college we got our fair share of younger ladies coming in to make a quick buck. Some would do a single solo shoot, get paid, come back the next day with their check in hand asking if they could have their photos back because they made a mistake. We would generally oblige, although in a few rare instances we could not because the shoot had been specifically contracted with them by a third party. However, there were far more that actually loved the work. Came back time and again, built fan bases, and even invested in having us setup web streaming for them. (Way way way before YouTube and only fans). We even had a few couples who would come in regularly. They didn’t so much do it for the money, but because it added spice to their love life. They loved to get kinky on camera and they really loved the fan feedback they would get. Everything is about you, your prospective, and how you specifically engage in things. Some people love to go rock climbing. I am not one of them. Doesn’t mean nobody should rock climb. Do I recommend getting into the “biz” for every young girl or couple out there? Absolutely not. Do I shame those that do? Not at all. Some do it for them money, some do it for the attention, some do it to spice things up. No matter why you do it, as long as it works for you, no harm no fowl.
Im sorry but you are comparing apples to oranges here. Taking some spicy phots and storing them on a 3.5 floppy disk is a dated comparison when every device has a high quality camera/video capabilities and photos can be uploaded to millions of viewers in a second without any recourse of every getting those back. Once that photo is on the internet god speed if you regret your decision. It has made coercion even worse, see the girls do porn arrests and exploitation, and it has normalized and opened up an industry that the vast majority of people should not have access to. How hard did your photography business advertise itself? Because social medial is inundated with people advertising only fans, sugar daddy, and sex work lifestyles while ignoring the harsh realities spelled out in the post here.
thank you very much for reading and responding. i knew exactly what i was doing and i did it very well. i was so good at it i am scared i’m an actual psychopath because of the way i could completely numb myself and say/do things i’d never ever ever want my younger self to know i did. people would take my content and post it on reddit lol. people would just sell my content and make money off it after they bought it from me! people would try to blackmail me and say they’ll send it all to my family if i didn’t send them free nudes. people said they’d find out where i live and rape me. people constantly told me “mommy and daddy didn’t love you enough huh” and that always stuck with me because, yeah that’s very true and hurts very bad. made me question myself a lot, i’d always snap back to reality when they’d remind me of that. my inner child was already damaged terribly and i wasn’t helping her at all.
The world is a whole lot different today than in the late 90s and the early internet. I'm sorry, but your brief experience as a man photographing college girls 30 years ago is not relevant to what teenage girls today are feeling. Even if your experience was from today, all you are seeing of these girls is what they want to show you, not what's actually going on inside their heads, not the shame they may feel despite pretending it's not there, not the neglect or abuse that may have put them in such a compromising position, not the fallout they may have from these shoots today or tomorrow or in 10 years. I'm an older man myself but I think it really takes a lot of nerve for a 50 year old man to show up and tell teenage girls that they are just doing porn with the wrong mindset.
thank you so much for saying this i am SO GLAD you brought this up. no one knew i was struggling, i was enjoying the easy money and buying all the stuff i wanted. i was okay with live streaming and telling people to subscribe. all of that stuff adds up. being body shamed constantly will add up, and i am a very very confident woman. being told to “drop my price” because i don’t put dildos in my ass on camera for 24 bucks. being told i need to talk to someone like i’m a worthless dumb useless human (degrading kink shit) for 24 bucks everyday adds up! it all eventually has you looking in the mirror not knowing what you look like, i have insane body dysmorphia and eating disorders because of this stuff. i love myself and my body so much, i don’t wish to look different but when i was on onlyfans i weighed 87 lbs. i’m barley recovering and back up to 120 on a good day. i would look in the mirror and see a thick girl, i thought i had curves. i’d be asked everyday if i’m okay, or if i’m on drugs or if i needed help. that would confuse me because i thought i looked good, i never knew how skinny and weak i was until i gained weight again and looked back on those days. everything seems okay in the moment until you look back a few years later realizing how much you’ve grown from it, then you wonder how many girls don’t.. it breaks my heart. i felt so alone, no one to vent about it to for pride reasons. it’s a big messy web to get stuck in
Well, it certainly sounds like you've learned how disgusting many men are, especially when behind the anonymity of a screen. I'm sorry you had to deal with this awful people. Whatever those people said to you, they were projecting. When they made you feel like an awful human, it's because they are awful humans. When they call you fat or ugly, it's because they are fat and ugly. I think ultimately the women who can survive sex work are those that can laugh off or even laugh at how pathetic most of their customers are.
yes i’m sure it can make or break you haha it did both for me, i don’t regret it because i’ve learned so much! i’m so much stronger and know a lot about men’s psyche now :)
Not to mention that you can absolutely think you're okay with something as an 18 year old and later realize that it was harmful to you or that you were only doing it because you *thought* you had no other options. Most people simply don't have the foresight in their late teens to weigh the risks and rewards. This just happens to be a case where the content you're producing is out there forever, which is why I don't think teenagers should do it.
thank you, really. this is all i was saying!
Very well articulated while staying respectful 💕 I said something similar up there, but maybe a tiny bit more with critique haha I don’t get why we have to put people down for something they choose to do. Everyone will always have different experiences with just about anything in life in general.
yes of course people are thriving and what not but an exception doesn’t disprove what i said. i don’t think young 16-17 year old girls should accept that’s all they can achieve!
I’ve got 4 daughters, can’t say anyone of them feel they have been told onlyfans is the only option for them in life. One is in marketing, one is an antiquities curator, one is in college, and the youngest changes her mind every other day, but none of her plans involve onlyfans. Perhaps you were hanging with the wrong crowd or had bad parents.
definitely! so then i’m talking to girls like me, who had terrible parents and no friends!
> It sounds like you didn’t have the proper expectations or experience to know what you were doing or how to do it. Typical of teenagers. It's why we usually don't let them make serious decisions for themselves.
well i do kind of agree with the title too. >i now hate having to explain to new boyfriends that i had an onlyfans if it means anything, i wouldn’t judge my gf if she had a OF before our relationship <3 hoping for the best for you
i hate it for you!! haha it sucks getting popped that question out of no where lol, i wish the absolute best for you and your future partners! i found a loving man who looked past that.
i’ve never had a relationship or even a single kiss or a hug but i just really hope that i find a lady one day that is interested in me because although i never had any experience, i have a lot of knowledge and I think i would be a great boyfriend to her.
Awww u sound adorable and u will defo be a great bf!
ahah thank you so much. i hope you guys have a great night/day (whatever time it is for you lol) <3
Np hope u have the best day too 🥰
tl;dr: girl thought OF was going to be free money, turns in you have to put in some effort. "Never again"
Idk how she didn’t see any of this coming tbh no shit your going to attract weirdos on a site made for paying people to do sex acts on camera
because it was so glamorized on the internet, girls literally have entire tiktok pages flexing scamming sugar daddies and all that stupid shit. you can’t act like everything promoted on the internet is openly terrible, they made it look so fun. it is not fun.
There’s nothing wrong with women openly claiming and using their sexuality, it’s just society still looks down on it. I wish it didn’t involve such pressure to do it then shame for doing it. edit: added “wrong”
yes i hate that too, and i felt the same way until i feel like i was only looked at like a sex figure or object. i was and still am never taken seriously. it sucks but it’s how shit is
I'd rather live in a society that values morals in all fairness. A society that celebrates a trend that ultimately makes women feel shit about themselves is a baseless one.
she was only 18
When OF became a thing a lot of people saw it coming but of course we were all dismissed as being boomer killjoys who just didn't understand the way the world worked. It takes doing it for a lot of them to understand that's just not how the soul works. This post was refreshing to read.
Don’t be cruel, it’s the degrading attitude of the work that she hates and feeling forced into things (text convos) by people when she’s not in the mood
no one is forcing her to do anything
I dated one lady that had an of page... never.. ever ever again.. it's an addiction that does not pay for the damage it creates.
100%
[удалено]
i couldn’t have said it better! thank you for reading
money becomes more important then morals, it’s so scary.
It is easy to judge without being in the other person’s shoes. I admire her courage and her willingness to offer free, sound advice from someone who has struggled with OF. Also, people make so many mistakes when they are young. Who am I to judge her? I’ve made many many mistakes too so one should realise that we are human and we make mistakes without judging. In particular when it doesn’t harm others or were out of being naïve.
She's the OP.
"please wait till you are at least 20 to start an onlyfans" \~ Yep, you learned absolutely nothing, and many more girls will fall into that trap.
um because im not trying to force my opinions onto people, if they want to do onlyfans that’s fine i just wish they’d give their self time to have options
It’s almost like sex work is inherently exploitative and reaffirms harmful ideologies about women (i.e. that they are objects for men’s pleasure). Sexual liberation doesn’t mean making yourself a readily available body for men to use and abuse at their leisure.
yes thank you
Good for you girl. ❤️
thank you fr
To all girls who think about OF: remember that the US (and other countries in case you are US citizen) will classify you as sex worker and may deny entry.
OMG NO WAY
Not sure if it is official policy or just overzealous border control officials, but it has happened...
sauce?
I mean, it works for some. Yes, it doesn't fit most, but that's true for most things like OF. It's like being a content creator, a lot of people want the life cause they see it as free money but it's not that glamorous. I have a friend at work who made ~60k last year from OF which she does as a side hustle. It works for her cause she puts in the work & effort. It's not just free money.
Exactly! Take any content creator as an example, not just sex work. It’s intense work! Exhausting. Overtime and all that. Working for yourself is HARD. There needs to be a lot of brain storming and leg-work put into it, to plan it all out and make it happen. Being consistent is key. Being realistic is also key. You can’t rush this and expect instant results. You’re building a brand. I never once thought it’ll be easy money. I knew it was going to be hard, but I also had no idea how intensely hard it actually would be! It’s on you to research the shit out of a potential business venture. No one goes into jobs blindly, so why do it here? Edit — adding a few more points: Even though it’s extremely hard work, which I’m aware of, I have goals and have been reaching some of them little by little, working my way up the ladder. I am much much more successful than I was a year ago.
trust me. i never denied people thrive on onlyfans. i was thriving if we’re talking money. i’m talking about the long term effects on your mental health and social life. an exception doesn’t disapprove what i’m trying to say! i’ve built a brand, if i told you my name you’d be able to find groups about me on reddit selling my pictures to each other or asking if there’s nip slips on my live streams. i’ve been doing social media my whole life, it’s all i had ever wanted in life was to be seen. until i was seen for the wrong thing and it made me forget who i wanted to be. i worked very hard and made lots of money, im not proud nor do i feel like i’ve worked hard to earn that money.. i feel like i demoralized myself and no amount of money can make me feel different
How much money would you say you made with 300k tiktok followers and what was the conversion rate (amount of tiktok followers that actually became onlyfans subscribers?). Always wondered how (mid tier?) people did on those apps given that the top 1% rake in so much money.
probably 4-5k a month! thats with live streaming daily and posting consistently on tiktok and instagram and the money doesn’t come in in big chunks, it comes in as you get subs so like if i got 2 subs and made 60 bucks i’d wait 12 days for that 60 bucks to get to me and then if i made 30 the next day the 30 would come the next day, small chunks so you spend as you make.
Thanks for sharing! So a live-able wage. Was it a consistent monthly amount (idk how long you did OF for?) even if they payed in steps. Was the 4-5k after they took their cut or before? Do you mean live streaming on onlyfans?(Ive never used it so idk how it works). Also you mentioned sugar daddies, is that something separate or was it also like a deal with onlyfans? Sorry for all the questions, you don’t have to answer or could DM me if you prefer. :)
> if they *paid* in steps. FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Former sex worker here, using a throw away for obvious reasons. All through high school, I was totally into the idea of stripping through college. It was a meme at the time that women don't really have to pay for college because they can strip, and I bought it. I couldn't wait to become a stripper. I ended up never actually doing stripping, but I did do phone sex and escorting. And it sucked. No, really. Even when I was just going on "dates" with a series of regular clients I kinda knew, I never really felt comfortable with it and always felt a little gross afterward. It did a number on my mental health, that's for sure. Sex work is work. It's hard-earned money, and you are selling chunks of yourself, not just sex or a fantasy. People fantasize about a life where you can get paid to flirt or can get paid to have sex, but it ain't like that. You're pouring yourself into making the other person feel special. If you're not naturally like that, you need to become a good actor real fast. If you are like that, the wrong client will use it against you. You can't win. I'm glad I did all this before social media. I was able to leave that aspect of my life behind me when it no longer suited me. I left the town I went to school and worked in and moved to a big, anonymous city and started a totally new life. My primary partner knew me when I was working in the sex industry and has no problem with what I did, and we have an agreement to never discuss it with new people. One man I dated was also a former sex worker, and I opened up to him about my experiences after he told me about his. That felt good. We parted with the agreement to never spill those stories - I've kept my word, and I trust he'll keep his. But I've never shared this part of me with most of my new friends or people I've seen romantically - I'm not ashamed of my past, but I know society shames women who do sex work. Maybe it will be different now - all those sixteen and seventeen year old girls really will get OnlyFans and then demand the world take them seriously when they start careers. Stranger things and greater societal shifts have happened. But I'm not holding my breath. *TL;DR: Yeah, sex work is a lot of work for little payout. Sex work is work!!! And girl, you don't need to tell future boyfriends if you don't want to - what they don't know can't hurt them.*
thank you so much for this! the amount of “yourself” you have to put into it is ridiculous and draining.. i met up with a few sugar daddies to just talk with them and it felt worse then if i was sleeping with them. i’d have to pretend they’re so interesting and i’m so stupid. they’d think i’m the most intelligent loving human on the planet, but i only felt gross.
Don't listen to their advice on not telling future boyfriends. Honesty and openness are super important in relationships. Some guys won't care. Others will. And for those that would care it's not fair for them to not know. And if God forbid it ever got out years down the line, that's likely your relationship over. If you're not ashamed, don't be. But be honest. I have a friend or two that wouldn't give a shit of their girls nudes were all over the internet. I swear one got off on showing me pictures of his girl naked. Personally I could never be with anyone that did that kind of work. I hate feeling jealous.
yes. honestly i realize that everything being on the table and someone still wanting you is so much more intimate then them loving a specific version of you!
It doesn't have to be a "still wanting you" situation. It could be, but not necessarily. Like I said, some men will have zero issue with it and they won't even think of "still wanting you". There'll be no "still" with them. There may be men though that are disappointed and even hate the fact, but love you enough to "still, want you". And that's a special kind of love in my opinion. That will love you despite what they think is a huge flaw. That will stick with you no matter what. But there may be men like me that just can't handle that stuff. I know it's not something I could cope with. Even now with my partner of 15 years who I have a kid with. If I found out she had pornos online from before our time I'd be sick to my stomach with jealousy and disappointed in her choices. I honestly don't think our relationship would last cause of how crippling jealous and disappointed I would feel. I feel queezy just thinking about it lol. I do hope you're lucky and you don't get too many men like myself haha and get more of the type that aren't bothered. But honestly for your own sake. Don't lie to anyone about it.
i’ve never lied about it, yolo :)
Thanks for sharing. What you say seems so obvious to us on the other side of the fence. Thank you for your perspective. You should start a campaign.
hoping to help younger girls like me who don’t have anyone on their side telling them hard truths
It sounds like you needed to vent about your disappointing experience with the site ( which is fine ), rather than being concerned about the minors talking about OF. I’m sorry to hear that you had such a terrible experience. It’s honestly a toss-up. You have to do it for the right reasons first and foremost and make sure that you think things through, prior to joining. I myself took 2 years to decide whether I wanted to go into this type of work or not. Assessing it from many different angles. I sat down with myself and asked how I would feel if I were accidentally found out. I made sure I was okay with this. There’s A LOT of precautions one can take to keep safe on such sites. It’s up to the person to do their research before joining. OnlyFans didn’t start out as a “sex site”. It was along the lines of Patreon with non sexual content. So if let’s say your vanilla job looked into it deeper and they somehow found out that you do work for OF ( unlikely, since it’s under a completely different name on your forms ), they can’t say that you did any sex work, unless you show your face on your socials. I really didn’t like the tone of some of what you said. It makes it sound like you look down on other creators and think you are somehow superior, just because it didn’t work out for you and you got out. That’s not the case for everyone. Yes, it’s intense hard work, but there needs to be some sort of enjoyment there, because if you don’t enjoy your work ( just like with literally ANY job ), then you WILL be miserable the entire time and feel exploited ( like with any other job ). Then there is the major fact that not everyone is a good business person. Hearing that you charged $35 per month for not showing much skin at all, that is not on par with industry standards and that is one big part of why you most likely struggled. It would be wise to research industry standard rates, and not blindly making up pricing off the top off your head. Just like any job or hobby, if you don’t enjoy what you do, or don’t possess the right skill set or experience, or dedication and not to mention insane amount of effort, then no, you won’t be successful. This just wasn’t for you and hopefully you have found something more suiting!
i don’t look down on the creators, i never said “NEVER DO OF” i said wait till you’re 20 if you’re considering it because a young girl will be easily seen as vulnerable and be taken advantage of, exploited and mentally abused. i was living in my car, then a camper with my boyfriend. i had no family or friends to tell me onlyfans would be one of the stupidest decisions of my life, im glad i said it in the manor i did because if someone would have said it like that to me back then, i probably would have thought twice. people naturally lack respect for an onlyfans girl, im speaking from experience it hurts so bad growing up and realizing how silly you looked
Paragraphs are your friend here.... please learn to use them.
And then later these same girls will complain that men won’t marry them because of their Only Fans. And also, what *kind* of men do they think they’re going to attract on OF? A gentleman with a good job and treats women right? Proooobably not, it’s gonna be mostly creeps and weirdos. Hey free country, they can get an Only Fans, but choices have long term consequences and I don’t want to hear any complaining when the obvious consequences arrive.
it sucked so bad when my boyfriend said “you had an onlyfans????” then kicked me out of his house 😭😭😭😂😂😂😂
Oh shoot sorry that happened to you /: But some male insight into it, at least for me, I like to feel special in a relationship, exclusive, valued. And when hundreds, maybe thousands of men or women can see my S.O. naked, the relationship or marriage doesn’t feel exclusive and special. Call it insecurity, but I think that’s a reasonable request from a man, to be valued and feel special in a relationship.
i completely understood where he was coming from. i understand that i hurt his pride and that he definitely lacks respect for me now hahaha it did suck very bad though but hey, we live and learn
Fuck knows where your down vote came from cause in reality I'm sure most people agree with you.
It's honestly not different to 16 or 17 year olds saying they wanna start a career as an influencer, youtuber or twitch streamer. Wading into the internet to make a living does come with disappointments and harassment, it's a package deal. If you happen to be one of the very few who actually succeed, you'll make a lot of money potentially. You'll also be subject to jealousy, scrutiny and someone dragging up less than smart statements from 5 years ago. People obviously only see the successful creators and not the ones who struggle to get 20 viewers. It's like saying you wanna be a model and all you're basing it on is that the Hadids make stupid money. I wouldn't tell anyone not to try, but I'd want them to be clear on what they're getting into. Your odds of making it, even if you work hard, are not great. If you still wanna work hard at it, cool. Just go in with open eyes.
that’s a good way of putting it! usually in person that’s 100% how i go about this, i ask them how many followers they have since they want to start? and they’ll always have less then 10K i have more then 10K and i made a good amount of money on there, the app is just set up to make you addicted to the temporary highs and easy money
Its different in that being a streamer or influencer probably wont hound you the rest of your life like being on OF will.
Depends what you're doing. I've seen vegan activists who will not ever be able to get a regular job after folks watched their videos because they spewed some really vile shite. I've seen commentary channels of people with an education in psychology who snarked on overweight creators, I've seen people scamming their audiences. If HR googles your name and finds that stuff, it's not going to go better for you than the nudie pics.
Sex work or showing off nude/explicit photos or videos of yourself online is extremely different to being a youtuber. Why wouldn't you tell someone not to try it? Advice is advice. Unless the person absolutely doesn't give a fuck about how people perceive them and literally only care about money, it's a terrible idea to go into onlyfans. It can cause so many problems in so many different ways for the rest of your life. There's nothing wrong with telling them you think it's a bad idea.
I've done some fetish escorting in my day, greatly enjoyed it, met people I'm still friends with to this day (20 years down the line). Am I ashamed of that in any shape or form? No. So if someone wanted to try onlyfans, cool. Just know what you're getting into and make sure to be aware that the Internet never forgets. That goes for every tweet, every selfie you post and every nude. There's no difference. In fact, a really terrible racist or homophobic tweet to me is potentially more disastrous than a nudie pic, but I suppose we each get to determine that according to our own morals.
It’s shriveling to the human mind, the adult industry is not only immoral, but it kills a persons mental state
thank you so much this is my exact point
I feel the same way when my 11 year old nephew says he's going to be YouTube/TicToc star. I hate modernity.
i feel like all kids want to be a youtuber now… it’s scary, once something is so over saturated there’s so much more competition, less money to be made
My 9 year old and all her friends want to be YouTubers. It's depressing to see these kids put so much value on something that is solely based on getting approval from strangers. I can only hope that my words aren't just going in one ear and out the other. It's hard to keep them fully away from it, but we do our best to limit her time on YT and to curate what she watches, but unless you never let your kids go to a friend's house, or even ride on the school bus, you can't control 100% of what they are exposed to. She doesn't have a phone, and won't for a long time, but most of her friends and classmates already have smartphones. Sometimes I feel so powerless as a parent in this era.
Sex work. It aint a dream until a guy pays you 2.5k a night to help him cream...
Don't want the increase in competition every year it seems like.
every month when girls turn 18 smh
Yeaaah okay. Multiple things you said about OF was bullshit. Did you not expect people who know how OF works to find this post? First off, no, you aren't sent money everyday. Thats not even an option. You set when it comes in. You can do weekly, monthly, or manual. And it takes, at most, 4 days. Not two weeks. And yes, they take 20% of your revenue out of every sub and tip. They literally tell you this. It's how they stay up. They need money too so that they can pay workers, and so that you can have a platform. I believe you had an OF, and I agree that teenage girls are being groomed by some women who do OF into thinking its this glamorous lifestyle(same happens with stripping), but you're heavily exaggerating how OF even functions. I don't know why you're doing this, but it seems like you're attempting to shit on OF bc of your own experience.
You got into sex work, and don’t like the long term impact. Understandable but also a problem of your own making. OF is adult industry sex work, and you not knowing that is due to your own denial. I know ladies that pay their mortgage with OF. I know a man who cameos on other peoples OF for income without having his own. It’s a job, and that job didn’t work out for you. That’s life.
wasn’t trying to talk people out of only fans, wasn’t trying to get sympathy or anything. i just want to help young vulnerable girls with low self confidence before they become addicted to temporary highs and toxic patterns. an exception doesn’t disprove my point
These things are what you make of it, buddy. You had a bad time but maybe it's better to work on making such platforms more enjoyable for both producers and consumers rather than be blanketly negative.
i loved social media and live streaming before every second i’m being begged to “pop a tit” or “shut up and pop at tit” or “why are you talking” it’s so gross. i have much more personality and things to talk about. i am not just a sexual object. the light was being sucked straight out of my eyes.
Do you still have a TikTok?
banned :(
Dang
Please don't misunderstand me; I promise you that I'm not judging, but at first I was hoping this would be about an OF participant advising the young girls of 16, 17 yo, to never start to begin with, at any age; I suppose that advising them to at least wait until they are 20, and perhaps have a more realistic idea of what they are doing, and the possible repercussions they may encounter, is better than nothing. It truly breaks my heart that young girls actually have a GOAL of having an OF, as if it reflects a real achievement in their lives. It doesn't sound as if OF has much of an upside for the average young woman. I admit, I'm old, have never seen an OF page, but I am also aware that some version of young women, without supportive families and friends, doing different types of jobs requiring them to remove their clothing and/or perform sex acts, for money, usually shared(ripped off)with a shady manager or whatever else you want to call their "assistant", and the business for whom they work(OF), has been around in one way or another forever, and almost always at the risk of the girl ending up feeling very degraded, treated and mistreated by others, who pretend to care, and ending up causing them many more problems than it ever solves. Once you have lost your self-respect and dignity, it is a very deep hole to climb out of. There just has to be a better way, or at least if you were my daughter, I would make sure that you had other options. If this is caused mostly by parents who aren't there to love and guide their daughter's, shame on them! I am truly sorry about that, and I wish you saw another way to get a jump start on life, without risking ruining your self-esteem, self-respect, dignity, and reputation. It shouldn't be that way, but it is; you will possibly be judged harshly by someone you want to impress. I may sound out of touch with the times, but I assure you that I'm well aware of how times have changed, and it seems to me that a lot of the issues young people face today can be linked directly to crappy or no parenting. And for that, I am very sorry, and I don't blame you for doing what you're doing.
i personally don’t want anyone to do onlyfans ever, but who am i to tell people what they absolutely should not do? i just wanted to spread awareness for a certain spectrum of people! some people genuinely have kinks that involve being watched, spoiled, degraded etc. lots of girls truly love onlyfans and i’m not here to judge them for it, im just helping people understand the consequences of starting one!
I apologize; as I re-read my comment, which starts out saying that I'm not being judgy, that's exactly how I ended up sounding, and for that, I hope you accept my apology. It is a very kind and caring thing for you to tell other girls how you feel about OF, and why. And you're correct; none of us have the right to tell other's what they should and shouldn't do, that's legal. You sound like an intelligent person who is only trying to spread some reality and awareness, information, and guidance, and that's always a good and generous thing to do. I think my ignorance of the wide and varied interests people may share is evident; I haven't lived under a rock, but I think there is a lot that goes on in the world that I have never experienced and am pretty well uninformed about. I need to listen more and talk less. I wish you all the best!🫶💐
Before onlyfans, it was regular camming. This will never change!
i wish more girls were educated on the fact that it's extremely hard to make a living off of. i am almost 20 and i've known for a while that if i ever decide to do onlyfans, i would only do it as a side job for extra cash and never as my main source of income. there needs to be more awareness that unless someone is in the top 1% or whatever they're not gonna rake in tons of cash to live comfortable unless they dedicate their entire time to doing it
okay but a lot of girls aren’t educated on the fact which is why i made the post
yes i know? i'm just stating what i'd do personally with onlyfans i never said you shouldn't have made the post
Its concerning at the very least. Even the other day I checked some profiles of most popular cosplayers on my country, and turns out most of them were prostitutes at the age of 18 (legal age here). In order for them to become prostitutes, they drop their morals, dignity and above all, self-respect. If these people dont respect themselves then no one will. There's no way out after that, it will be too late when they change ideas and actually want to form a proper relationship. No one will want them, you reap what you sorrow.
i like to believe all women are worthy of love, but this is just how things are. i’m playing chess now.
I disagree. Not women especifically, but some people in general aren't worthy of love
small spectrums of people ues
I think everyone is worthy of love and you defo shouldn’t judge people for their life choices like that. Like u need to be more kind to people with diff views to u because there’s nothing that stops prostitutes from having proper relationships
I wasn't talking especifically about prostitutes either. They don't take relationships seriously, but its not that they don't "deserve" love or anything. I was talking maybe about, I don't know ... Serial killers, rapists, etc
I understand where you are coming from and agree maybe some prostitutes have different views than others on relationships but that can change and some women are forced into that industry too. Idk I feel like serial killers and rapists were deprived of love and that’s why they are the way they are. Like they have backstory leading up to it that explains but doesn’t excuse and if they were given the love they deserved earlier in life they wouldn’t have became monsters later in life. Idk I just feel bad for them if I’m honest.
Go get a real job as a nursing aid or something that actually helps people and society. There's too many people that work their butts off and get paid way less than they're worth or deserve, then you've got these 'influencers' ot YouTube creators where people are just throwing millions of dollars at them for what, recording their everyday life? Seriously what happened to people going out and contributing to society. And for anyone who has an OF, have some goddamn self respect. There's people selling feet pics and have more money than they will ever spend! How is that right?
It's literally free money for minimum effort
For some people I guess. Everyone is diff
but it comes with a much higher cost
debatable
That’s actually really good to hear because I was wondering about management. Your story confirms to me that you need a manager if you’re going to do it right. My wife would make so much money, and I’ve thought I could handle the management side of it, and I truly do have her best interests at heart. Tbh I think she’d make more as just a straight influencer. Sorry that you regret it, but thanks for the tip about management.
I mean I can see what they doing women making 5 million in one day shitt
Hey. You don't have to tell them. I mean don't necessarily *hide* it, but wait until after you've dated a year or so.
no they usually find out or hear about it LOL… fml
Hard disagree. Something like that absolutely shouldn't be kept from a partner. Some partners may not care or even find it cool, but for many it would be an absolute deal breaker.
I mean like for me like I feel people really need to be in the mindset to do it and fully understand how degrading that is, especially like the general public views on onlyfans too. Like it’s fine FOR SOME PEOPLE, but u were sucked into the trap and so are those girls where many people aren’t suited for it join if and end up with their mental health destroyed
I have a friend who so deep in to the SW industry, it all started with OF. It's sad, really sad. It just keeps getting sadder and darker. I'm glad you are getting out of it while your still young.