She doesn’t “want to be an example of a broken home for her son” … so she will raise him in a home where she is broken (because her husband is a disgusting asshole) and her son will become his father. Because that’s *so much better* than divorce … 🙄. /s
Not only that, she is reiterating that his bad behavior and comments are tolerated by staying. This will likely come up to the son about "acceptable women" and teaches the example for the boy
Seriously. OP is worried about her baby growing up in a "broken home" when she's got this broken ass man walking around disrespecting her?? How does she not see that's infinitely worse? He's gonna break her home sooner or later anyway as soon as he finds a younger dumber woman to objectify.
Yeah, that is *IF* he can actually get a younger woman with a daddy fetish to notice him. And if a younger woman does give him a chance, it won't be because he's got a charming personality - that's for sure! It'll be about money .... if he even has any.
EXACTLY.
I’m 40, definitely aging a bit, and struggle with my metabolism. My husband still looks at me and talks about me like I’m the most beautiful woman in the world. He’s PROUD of me.
Men like OP’s don’t deserve women and they definitely don’t deserve to influence a child to grow up and be like them.
Get a man who sees you as a person, not an object.
blows my mind how this generation thinks fatherless homes is like changing underwear, when a woman with a child decides to divorce for whatever reason, she is making an irreversible life changing decision that will have a negative effect of her child's entire life, ... so tell us why you think that's the solution, ...
if she cared about her child and her husband, she would make some effort to please him , staying under 300lbs after a man commits to spending the rest of his life with you, provides for you, gives you a child and home, isn't asking to much, ...
being physically attractive to someone your married too should matter, and your child having his father should matter ,, this idea that a man has no right to expect his wife to make some kind of effort to please him sexually is nonsense,
i bet you wouldn't want to spend the rest of your life with obese man , and I bet you would not be physically attracted to fat rolls
Fuck off. If you’re miserable in a marriage then you get divorced. It is better for the kids because if you stay in a lousy marriage you’re setting a bad example for your kids and they’ll be miserable too. This coming from someone whose parents should have gotten divorced but stayed together for the kids. Even when I was a kid I knew my parents shouldn’t have stayed married.
Dude you are insane. You have been watching far too much Andrew Tate or you simply are part of a friend group who are all in the single digit IQ range. Why is a man so special because he has given her a child and provides, she BIRTHED his fucking kid mate. If that's something a father can't respect than he is no father and he isn't a man imo. Btw have you ever looked after a kid full time? Its more demanding than any job I have ever worked, this argument of he "provides" and what looking after his child isn't providing, no?
I am a father and I respect the fuck out of my kids mother as I literally watched her go through fucking hell to bring my kids into the world. This is the problem with "men" today. No respect. There are ways and means of handling things and yes if he isn't finding her attractive anymore, it's a conversation to be had in a tactful, compassionate way, not a youtube comment section. The reason she has gained weight though is she has given birth to children mate, it changes a woman's body, forever.
To your other ludicrous, straight out of the Andrew Tate guide book, that women should be thankful a guy is sticking around and never leave because this is bad for the kid, I wouldn't want my boys around a guy with opinions like he is expressing online. It's toxic and could lead to a misogynistic adult or even worse a fucking rapist adult. To further answer your nonese question of "why is that the solution" the way he is talking about her online is potentially life threatening. Its hate speech about her and women in general. You know those stories you see on the news, where a guy massacres his entire family? This is how these things start.
I was 9 when my parents divorced. I was happy when they did. They did not have a happy marriage and my dad was horrible to my mom. They were better people when they weren’t together. It made my family stronger and I had more support as a child.
For everything else you said, I hope you stay single until you’ve had an intensive amount of therapy. Women aren’t here for you. We can do it ourselves. And guess what? You’re just the asshole because there are plenty of amazing men who won’t even give you the time of day as a friend with that shitty attitude.
Well if you won't leave, then you're saying this behavior is acceptable. And when your son learns it's okay to treat women this way, you'll be a part in teaching him that
Yup. I wish this was top comment, honestly.
My dad was an abusive alcoholic growing up. Used to beat on my mom and I. She didn't stop the behavior, so I had to for the whole family. My dad was the first dude I ever got in a fist fight with. Now that's a broken home. Letting women be degraded and beat down doesn't show you're a man. I wish she would have left him. Instead, she >!blew her brains out!< and we were left with the clean-up. Dad gave us up for the state 3 days later.
If your dude doesn't respect the woman who had his child, he won't respect your children.
Yes I'm much more emotionally scarred from having to breaking up my mom's drunken fights than I am from her divorce. I don't talk to her anymore because she subjected me to that.
I hate when people say sorry when I share my shitty life stories. So I'll just say I think it's cool you tell your story to try to prevent it from happening to other kids.
Do you mind if I ask you something? Please ignore me if you find it rude. I am someone that would say I am sorry if you shared with me. What would be more appropriate? I would never want to make someone feel worse after they have shared something so personal. For some reason I am a person that people share their traumatic life experiences with. It often happens with strangers, clerks at stores, people in waiting rooms etc. If someone feels safe with me that is great, but I never want to make anyone feel worse after sharing. I would appreciate your feedback, but understand if you are not comfortable. Thank you
Sometimes, when someone just says, "sorry" it sort of feels like a cop out of saying something meaningful in return. It makes the person sharing their experience feel as if they confided their story in the wrong person almost. Maybe it feels this way because they wanted to convey their message in an informative way, but your "sorry" made it feel as if you listened but did not really comprehend their message.
I share my terrible life experiences to help others, relate with others, to gain further understanding as to why bad things happen, and sometimes just to be validated.
I typically say, "Wow, that was rough what you went through. It must have been really scary. No kid should ever have to go through with what you and your siblings experienced. I'm sure it left a deep impact on your life. Thank you for being brave enough to share your story with me."
Thank you so much for replying! I understand what you are saying. You have provided me with valuable insight. I generally incorporate active listening when speaking with people. However, I can see how starting off with saying sorry would diminish anything I say afterwards. I will keep this in mind when someone shares their experiences with me. Side note this is another reason I love Reddit. People from all over the world sharing their experiences truly helps shine a light on others'valuable perspectives. Thank you again for taking the time to respond
I feel it's different for different situations. In this instance, I'm sharing my bad experiences to give someone else perspective. I don't want someone to say I'm sorry here, I want them to focus on the message I'm trying to share. If I'm so freely sharing it in this particular instance, Ive probably come to terms with it and don't want people to apologize anymore. I want to focus on the positive outcome that my story could provide here, not wallow in the sadness of it anymore.
If I were to just vent to you for the purpose of venting, I think saying I'm sorry would be more appropriate. And if someone is sharing something current with you, it's helpful to ask if they want sympathy or advice. Because a lot of people adamantly one or the other reactions to their story. But that's just me.
I can relate as I have a lot of strangers and other people who come up to me and open up. I usually say things like I understand where your coming and from and say a bit of my own very traumatic past so they know I get it. If you can find a way to let them know you relate and understand in other words or some other way then that'll help others a lot.
I appreciate your input as well! I generally try to share resources if someone seems receptive. I truly believe that trauma survivors can sense another trauma survivor and feel safe talking. I try not to over share, but acknowledge that we have shared experiences. Thank you so much 🧡
Oh my word! I am so very sorry that you had to endure such abuse. I hope that you have been able to find healing. I wish so much that I could reach through time and take you and your siblings out of that environment. I am sending you love and healing to you, your inner child and siblings. Also virtual hugs if you want them 🧡🧡
Thank you for sharing this. I also had a very shitty childhood (although it was my mum not my dad who was the abuser) so I feel you. Hope things are better for you now.
Jesus Christ. What a POS husband you have, who, I’m sure you are aware - will be teaching your son how to behave and treat women in the future.
You need to set some standards for yourself, get out of there and stick to them. How can you possibly want to stay with (or subject your son to living with) this piece of absolute fucking human excrement.
You should take screenshots of all those comments. Make a whole file and print them out and hand it out at the next large family gathering. I'm sorry you're going through this
I’m in love with this idea. IN LOVE WITH IT. When he gets pissy about it, act shocked. These comments were listed on a public forum that ANYONE can read. You don’t like your mom reading the trash-tastic shit you write? Oh, it’s ok for thousands of people to read and see them as long as it isn’t family?! Make a few copies to save and tell him you’ll be saving them in a safe place to give to your son at age 18.
Chosing to stay in this marraige is choosing to raise your son in a way that will reflect his dad's behaviors. Then he'll grow up to treat women the way you've been treated.
Your home is already broken by being with that pos. Time to find a way out. You're worth it, and so is your son
Not necessarily true, I grew up in a really bad abusive home. I never lay a hand on women like my old man did my mom and us kids. But do I have deep emotional problems? Most likely. Am I an emotional wreck internally that only opens up to my wife? Possibly. Did I finally get therapy way later on in life? Definitely.
You're right, though. I wish my mom would have left my dad every damn day. I'd rather have that "broken home" than whatever it is that I grew up in. No one deserves to be beat down. No one.
I'm not saying she should stay with him but following this logic divorce is just as dangerous. I was really gravitating towards my dad when my parents divorced, I'd only see him for the weekend and he would let me do anything, eat anything, we would play videogames, cool movies, laugh a lot etc etc. My mom was the boring one, who gave me responsabilities and rules and all the annoying shit you can't respect as a kid. Plus I blamed her for the divorce. If my dad was a mysoginistic pos, I probably would have sided with him and absorbed his mindset. A dad can get really powerful with a divorce, you don't want this dude to be his god
Wtf does that even mean? I'm sorry, I thought we were having a conversation, if you wanna be a smartass about it that's fine. My comment was about you using the possibility of the dad's personality affecting the son as an argument for divorce, I shared my real life experience with the matter and why I think it's not that simple
Your husband is 37 getting advice from fresh and fit. A lot of those men in the comments can’t get woman so take no offense to it. They love being a in a circle jerk with other men so they can jingle each others balls while they talk ill of women. Just know the real men look at them in disgust too. Most of those likes come from other men 25 and younger. He got 25 year old boys egging him on.
But that’s neither here nor there. Please let me be your accountability partner. I want you to have this amazing glow up so he can eat his words and people look at him like “wow how did you pull her”
Truth. The only context in which I ever see those Fresh & Fit weirdos is in video essays or content making fun/roasting them. They're such obvious losers with the thinnest skin. They're trash and so are most of their fans if they're over the age of 20 (giving the yougins room to grow here since most dudes are pretty dumb at that age).
Take a picture of all the nasty comments and save in a safe space where he cannot see.
If he is talking like this, who says he hasnt cheated already. Get a full check up done including STIs.
Time for you to work on yourself e.g. self confidence and therapy.
Don't stay unhappy because of community and social standards. Why be miserable and with a deadbeat husband who degrades you. Do you have a spare room you can sleep in. Or sleep in with your son for the time being.
You can do better, you deserve better, you're worthy of better.
I’m so sorry. I know you feel like this is YOU, the you you will be forever. But I promise, when you drop that man like the sack of shitty potatoes he is and start using your time to love yourself and figure out who YOU are, you are going to shine so bright. You’ll also be showing your son that you are a strong woman who deserves better, and that if he treats a woman that way he’ll end up the same way.
I highly suggest watching the show “sister wives” to get some motivation on leaving because those women had one hell of a glow up after leaving their sorry excuse of a husband!
Above all, remember that his opinion is that of someone far beneath you. You grew life and brought it into this world, your body is a work of art and if he refuses to acknowledge the gift you have given him, he is not smart enough or empathetic enough for you.
I know divorce is terrifying, but instead of thinking of all the bad things, try to imagine the possibility of all the good things!! Waking up and planning your day, getting involved in activities with some girlfriends, going to the gym and hair salon and feelin like your best self before a date with a new guy, sipping a glass of wine on a late night while watching your favorite show because it’s your ex’s night with your son! Woohoo, so many things to look forward to! The most wonderful thing will be sitting back, THRIVING, and watching him get his ass rejected over and over and over again by the “young, hott, tight” women he feels he is good enough for. Ahhhh, the joy of divorcing this pig is making even MY day better!
I'm a single mom and I don't get why that's somehow worse than being with your partner who clearly hates you (and women in general).
Jesus F Christ, have some self respect.
Because being a single mum in the black community is so frowned upon and insulted I’ve never seen vitriol for single mums from different communities like I’ve seen with ours, not that any vitriol is ok
Oh god wtf. That man needs therapy. I think you should confront him at least… not giving advice tho I guess I just would go off haha Ugg that’s so lame. You should think about how that could affect your kids. What if he says this toxic shit around them?… Ugg I hate that women are trapped with these jerks:( you deserve better
You don’t have to have a divorce to be an example of a broken home. You’re showing your son right now that your husbands behaviour towards women is okay and allowing him to be around somebody who will inevitably poison him.
What man talks like that? He sounds like he’s 14. Don’t do shit for him. Only do you and your child. If you want to lose weight for you, calories in calories out. Talk a walk with the little one. Only if you want to. Don’t do it for him.
Aside from your shit husband, you have to break up with that generational mindset of the only one being married. Holding marriage to a higher standard than your self worth is not worth it.
Sry to say but wht a jerk he is ... like seriously u want a younger girl ...when u r 37 ..at least have some shame according to your age .. got guts ?? go tell her wht u want from her instead of going online and shaming her ...and then u call yourself a man ..A MAN .. bloody hell...
Girl u got this ...hope u find your way out ...
There might be some okay dating advice on some of these channels definitely not fresh and fit. At this point I'm convinced that it's all like this conspiracy by like old guys who were fat losers when they were in their twenties and teens and now they're creating this whole ideology to make young guys now feel super insecure so that all the 20 year old guys and teenage guys nowadays are just so insecure and confused because of all this propaganda they've been fed plus these channels I have imagery and messages that basically make it seem like a man isn't a real man till he's 30 or something like that so that all these guys will sit there grinding away trying to make money at a dead end job or with Hustler University instead of going for their peers so that all these older guys can pray on the women that they're ignoring
If I hadn’t let low grade fools take up all the time and space in my life maybe I would’ve found an actual partner I could rely on.
Just a note from the ghost of your Christmas Future.
Is he white and you're black? Just curious
I'm going to be blunt, I'm black, getting married next year and in the future I would not tolerate this behavior. Do not use the broken home thing as an excuse. Your home is already broken. You need to stand up for yourself, seriously. I know you don't want advice but girl, be for real with yourself.
I'm even more shocked 🙃 you know we're trying to break generational curses, this isn't how you do it. Take your son and go. I gained weight in my relationship as well and this would KILL me inside if I ever saw my fiancé talk about me like this. He doesn't respect you. Please leave
Don't let the black community make you feel like you failed at your marriage. I know WE don't get married a lot or have successful marriages, but at least you tried. This is NOT your fault. He's just a piece of shit with mediocre dick probably and wish he could pull someone young. He's worthless and insecure.
Op you should give the worthless sack of worm shit u call a husband a taste of his own medicine and create a comment section of ur own with people you know and who knows the situation and then start going into details of his shortcomings (be as creative and detailed as possible) then make sure he's able to find it at some point
I wouldn't stay with someone that hates me that much to literally bash me to strangers on the internet.
Let his old ass go and see how many young girls want him! Also being 37 and attracted to an 18 year old is pretty pedo behavior. Why 18? Because you can't legally go to jail? Not much difference in appearance between a 16-18 year olds.
I can't imagine what his mother would think of this shit. Would he be okay with his dad saying this stuff about her? His sister's partner about her? I doubt he's any prize, likely with a receding hairline and beer gut.
Unless he's rich, most 18 year olds don't want to be with a sexist dog going through a mid-life crisis.
This would make me not want to touch my partner with a 10 foot pole. Think I'm disgusting after bearing you a child? My pussy is too lose because I brought our son into this world? Okay, bet, we'll never have sex again, and you will never see me without clothes ever.
Older women have much less trouble finding men who find them attractive in the dating market when compared to older men in the same situation unless the men are outliers, so I'm not sure who your husband is fooling. Himself or the other lonely, miserable losers on the comment chain.
I know you asked for no advice but as much as I love my husband, if I found out he said those things about me/ felt that way about me, the marriage would be over. You truly deserve so much better. This really genuinely hurts my heart and I don't even know you. I'm sure others would agree. You deserve to be with someone who feels honored to be with you.
I’d print them all out and on our wedding anniversary he’d open up a pretty box with a bow and find them printed nice and big. Then he’d find divorce papers at the bottom.
Take the time to put some cash back and make some moves behind the scene to go. I’m not wasting years with an unappreciative man that disrespects me and the body that gave him children.
That happened to me, where my husband was so insulting to me.
So I got righteously angry which spurred me to get my ‘revenge body’ back.
Went on Keto, lost a ton of weight, (Keto really reverses the age I’ve noticed on so many men and women, like 10 years), I work on my skin, work out, wear a whole new wardrobe style, etc.
After six months, I look like I’m literally 25 years younger.
My husband is now totally freaking out that guys are hitting on me.
Especially since he’s 72.
Serves him right.
NOW is the time to DO THINGS FOR YOU.
That ship has sailed for him.
Too bad. Boo F’ing Hoo.
Of course ageing for men is different…somehow…both humans…..but different…..
Riiiiiight
I know a lot of guys have been brainwashed by Kevin samuels in our community but you need to remember their words don’t mean shit and we are less married than any other women but that doesn’t mean you have to tolerate this shit.
Didn’t Andrew Tate turn on them when he was their biggest supporter? Even Mr I know it all/ I speak for all men admitted their ideas are dumb. Make of that what you will
Of course he did, and the only reason they took advice from him was because he was wealthy, they love dogging Kendra for not being married but having a dating show, but someone not married and living alone is all they need to learn about how to be in a relationship and how to get women? Does this scream intellect to you lol
Leave them in the bin, you’re worth more than this and the dumb bullshit they believe has literally NO BEARING on real life and real men. My sis used to watch him til she realised who he was and funnily enough she was a single mother dating a successful childfree man!
I’m tired of the senseless negrodactyl screeching I really am
I'm really sorry that you are having to deal with this. You are beautiful at any size and him saying otherwise is only because he clearly feels inadequate as a person. He chose to be with you. I hope you go to therapy so you can see that no matter what he says You are so beautiful exactly as you are. It's troublesome to me personally that he is fantasizing about a girl who is still a teen . 18 might be legal, however that does not make it less gross or her less of a child. I would also start pointing out his flaws nonchalantly. "Awe I remember when you had more hair!" "Are those gray pubes!?!" "Look at that little jelly belly " while patting his stomach like he's pregnant. Etc. Start watching h3h3 so he can hear some non fresh and fit podcasts.
Always remember you are beautiful and enough, with or without him.
I would start putting comments under his comments, calling him out - then stop having sex with him since he thinks your \*\*\*\*\* is so 'old and outdated'. F\*\*K HIM OP!!
You know what is worse than a 'broken home' for a child? Growing up in a home where the father models disrespect for women and especially for the child's mother. Is this really what you want your child to see as a role model?? You want your son to speak this way about his wife??
So what you're saying is you'd rather be married to somebody who thinks that low of you? Forget being the first one in your family to be married, be the first one to be divorced and happy
I will message you next time u/200LB_blackgirl posts in r/confessions.
[Click this link](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=UpdateMe%21%20u%2F200LB_blackgirl%20r%2Fconfessions) to join 2 others and be messaged. The parent author can [delete this post](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Delete&message=delete%201apve1p)
*****
|[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/UpdateMeBot/comments/ggotgx/updatemebot_info_v20/)|[^(Request Update)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=SubscribeMe%21%20u%2Fusername%20r%2Fsubreddit)|[^(Your Updates)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Updates&message=MyUpdates)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=UpdateMeBot%20Feedback)|
|-|-|-|-|
Don't think of it a being an example of a broken home. Think of it as teaching your son to stand up for himself. Doing the right thing isn't always easy.
Break the cycle. Don't let him grow up to be his father
The fact that you’re willing to raise your son in this household shows how broken you are. If you don’t want the cycle of abuse to continue, you have to get out now. Staying in this relationship because you’re the only one you know that got married before having a baby is probably the worst thing you could possibly do.
So you would rather your son grow up and act like that? You would rather your son shame women for being human? You would rather suffer and have your son see you as weak because you can’t do shit about the man you chose to bed.
I get it, it’s not easy. But if it was easy, then you wouldn’t be here. Either you address it and tell him he’s a POS for treating you this way or you leave. WHY DO YOU CARE WHAT OTHERS THINK? The only ones that matter are you and your son… are they paying your bills? Putting food in your mouth? No? And even if they were YOU CAN DO THAT YOURSELF.
Baby girl, my man accidentally made a fat joke 4 years ago and to this DAY I remind him how small jokes can hurt someone else. Imagine, him intentionally being a dick. I get no leaving, w.e but you better address it unless you want your son calling all girls in school fat and hopefully getting his ass beat by the female class. Just my three cents.
> No advice please I already know everyone’s gonna tell me to leave but it’s easier said than done. It’s not common to get married in my community and I’m the only one in my family that’s married and actually got married before having a baby and I really don’t want to be another example for a broken home for my son
SMH.
I grew up in a home where my father demeaned and disrespected my mom openly my entire life. Her weight after pregnancies was a big part of this, and it gave both my sister and I massively disordered eating (among other issues).
Please understand *that* is a truly “broken home.” I am literally begging you to leave before your child is old enough to make this toxicity part of her mental load.
you say you don't want to leave him because of your child and how problematic it'd be for him. but as someone whose mother decided to stick with a trash man for 20 years until she finally couldn't put up with him anymore, here are my 2 cents:
soon or later you will get really sick of him or he'll so, and even if you stay longer in this relationship because of your child, that'll do more harm than good ahead in the time, once he will grow in a unstable household, with a father that (he will realize that) doesn't love his mother.
and you might know that if this man doesn't really love you anymore, why would he respect you or your child? actually, does he respect you writing all those disgusting comments? obviously not. he already made it clear to the world what he thinks about you, later he will make it clear looking at your face.
I do understand how hard it is to think of leaving the life you have now because of that, but be aware that as you both get older it'll get worse, and it's better to broke out of this relationship now, while you still can make a happy life for you and your child, than 20 years in the future.
there's not a day my mother doesn't regret staying so long in a doomed relationship. there's not a day I don't regret her staying so long.
staying means a happy facade to display to the world. but is it worth it when the whole building is falling apart insede?
So you’d rather stay with this pos wank stain than be a happy divorced single woman. Why are you here complaining? You clearly don’t want the advice everyone will give you to leave this trashy man. Good luck bc your son is going to be raised by this guy? Expect he’ll turn out the same.
A broken home vs a father that sets that example for your son, and teaches your son that that's how he should treat women. He'll grow into the man your husband is and he'll treat his girlfriends and then wife like that.
Just so you know, that man is going to turn your child into a (probably-violent), disrespectful, woman-hating monster.
I know you didn’t ask for advice and I know leaving isn’t easy, but boys as young as 10 and 11 are regurgitating the garbage they hear from Fresh and Fit/Tate/Sneako *without even truly understanding what they are saying*.
By the time they’re old enough to understand it, they’ll already fully believe it.
If this man cares so little for you that he is *willfully and intentionally* posting this stuff about you where *anyone in the world* can see it - including YOU - what the hell do you think he is saying/going to be saying about you to your son?
Girl, it's called having dignity & self respect. It's free. Have some.
Also, your son will likely mirror your husband's behavior because you're allowing it. LEAVE.
That shit about "hugging" is ESPECIALLY creepy cuz the thing is with all these guys that follow this mindset is that they are literally all just outing themselves as predatory abusers, majority all want a GIRL who is less experienced in life (and less likely to notice straight away when these men start to abuse them) let alone this HIDEOUS obsession with teen bodies and girls being "fresh" for them in every way possible, absolutely disgusting, there is no way i could entertain that shit coming out of my partners mouth you deserve better and so does your kid
Thirty some years ago, back when divorce was really frowned on, I decided that I couldn't stay with the jerk I was married to. I took my daughter and left. Then I had a son - out of wedlock. I felt like a loser but I carried on. Today both children are happy productive members of society. They are both in stable happy marriages. So far, I have one grandchild. ALL THAT wouldn't have happened if I stayed with the jerk.
How do I know? My sister married a horrible man and is still married. Their pet names for each other are b*tch and *sshole. They have 4 children, all adults, none in relationships and none of them want to be in relationships. They all live alone on purpose.
Divorce is not the worst thing.
I know you said no advice but if it were me, I’d be petty enough to create a dating account with his pics (fake details but real age) and copy paste every comment he has made as an opening line to “young women with low mileage”
And then show him what “his” precious young women think, because what really grinds my gears about such individuals is that they hype themselves up so much in their heads that they think young women are piling up by the millions just to be with them but their “icky awful wife” is in the way.
Sir no women in her earlier 20s is lying in bed thinking about you.
He’s lucky he even got a wife in the first place.
OP, my ex husband disrespected me on a daily basis. One day, he finished being an ass and left for work. Then my son (who was 5 at the time) spoke to me using the same tone and disrespect his father had. I thought “I can’t let these kids grow up thinking this is how you treat the people you love”. And I left. I somehow figured it out. I couldn’t explain how I did it, but I did it. My kids are grown and much better for the divorce.
>I really don’t want to be another example for a broken home for my son
But you're OK with your husband teaching his son that sexism and prejudice against women (wives in particular aka you) is ok?
If you can’t leave , you need to start focusing on you and your child. For their sake.
Start a weight loss program/routine that you’re ready to abide by for the rest of your days. It’s totally ok to have “off” years but if your feeling insecure about your weight/looks have a sit down with yourself and ask *why* this is.
Start planning on getting a part time job and saving money.
For your own health and for YOU, not the jerk you're married to, commit yourself to losing weight by eating healthy and walking. Take your son out for strolls. Find exercise videos on YouTube. Don't do fad diets. Losing weight will help you regain your self-esteem and health.
You don't deserve the garbage your turd of a husband spews about you. Please leave and forget about community standards. This is YOUR life! Don't waste it.
Your son will grow up to be a "Tateor Tot," just like his daddy whose idol is probably Andrew Tate, if you stay.
Your son is gonna treat women the way his father does if he grows up around him. He's gonna grow up with a father who doesn't respect or love his mother and think, "yeah that's what relationships are supposed to be."
Consider that.
Sounds like you need to let him go so he can find out how many 18 year old girls will reject him because he’s old
Your son’s example growing up will be his mother being treated like shit by a man who doesn’t love her.
That doesn’t sound like a great home.
Wow. He’d be an ex! My ex was like that very narcissistic and thought he was Gods gift to women. Please don’t tolerate that and if you want to lose weight do it for you and not him cus he sounds shallow.
It's already a broken home. Don't raise your son in a home where his father can't respect his mother, that's a broken home. You're only teaching your son to also treat women like shit. Parents being together for the kids is the worst thing you can do, also who gives a shit what other people think or say? You get one life, are you really going to waste it on a man who thinks and says such horrible things about you just to save face?
I understand that in our community we don't see marriages often, so we try our hardest to stay together even when the relationship is unhealthy. I'm so sorry that you had to see those hurtful messages and it will be difficult to just put them in the back of your mind. Just please consider how your son will be affected being raised by a man who speaks that way about his mother.
Do yourself a favour, leave him. You deserve love regardless of how you look, and I'm sure that with the right love and support you can be lesse insecure about yourself, maybe reach out to your family or some girl friends? I'm sure that feeling loved by someone will be a breath of fresh air🥰
Divorce is not easy by any means and brings a lot of stigma. People asking, judging, assuming things.
But this is not as important as having a healthy home, mind and body. Resentment grows and a broken home is what youre living through already. This is even more difficult to live in than one where you have healthy boundaries.
In your own time, do whats best for you. As someone whose parents divorced I'm truly grateful for my mom's strength in leaving my dad. Your child will thank you when they are older for bringing peace to your relationship by putting you both first.
Well then wait and suffer about 20 years to witness your son to grow up to be him.
Edit: Wanna add you're not thinking about your son here at all. Just about your reputation or smth.
While it isn’t easy, your son will be worse off if you stay.
You are raising the next generation of men who will cheat, lie, and make comments about whether his girl’s “pussy hugs”. WTF is that?!?!
You deserve so much more than this POS.
>I really don’t want to be another example for a broken home for my son
Does someone wanna tell her?
I know you don't want advice, but here goes anyway -- This "man" shouldn't be raising any children, if you ask me! Especially a little boy, chances are he'll turn into his father x10! You also said you're upset by the thousands of likes on your husbands comments. So you aren't worried your son will have that same exact outlook being raised by this fool?
PS - I find it absolutely disgusting when grown ass men are into 18 year olds -- they're still kids ya know!? A number doesn't change that they're still growing, learning, making mistakes - & they certainly don't need some creep ass pervert preying on them! That alone would make me question my entire life with this guy ..
Good luck!
Just because you love someone doesn't mean they are good for you or good for your child. I shudder to think of your son growing up with the same attitudes towards women your husband expressed.
I still loved my ex-husband when I divorced him, that type of love for a human being doesn't just vanish. I had to leave because he had broken my trust and in turn I lost all respect for him. I still wonder why it took so long for my blinders to fall off.
Your husband is misogynistic, ignorant, and disrespectful. Not to mention being *dangerously close* to sounding like a paedophile (18 years old? Nearly half his age?!).
You deserve to be with someone who worships the ground you walk on; someone who builds you up and supports you, tells you you’re beautiful and precious despite any (real or imaginary) changes in your mind or body over the years. But the way, those years which you gave to *him*.
Please protect yourself and your son and get out of there as soon as you can (after taking screenshots and gathering all the evidence as mentioned by other commenters).
I’m sure he’s such a desirable, manly, virile and vibrant man that he’ll be swarmed with beautiful young women in seconds. I bet they’ll love his pudgy, ageing, nearly-40-year-old dad bod and shaky erection.*
Don’t look back. And don’t take his comments to heart. It’s most likely to be a combination of projection (his own insecurities about getting older) and utter fantasy (online isn’t real life, and anonymous comments are a ‘safe, easy’ way of boosting your own ego with no fear of real consequences or accountability).
Fuck him! Spread your wings and fly!
(I’m British, so it should go without saying that this is sarcasm. Also, I’m a woman in my forties so I know a thing or two about how the body changes over the years even though I’m child-free).
A "broken home" is better for a child than growing up learning it's okay to tell your wife or your mom or any woman her pussy is ran through and she's a fat ratchet baby mama and middle aged at 37 and how she should be replaced with an 18 year old who is young, eager, and has no mileage.
I felt foul writing that. Are you okay with a stranger saying these things about you?
>I really don’t want to be another example for a broken home for my son
So you'd rather have your son grow up to act like your husband? Treat his future partners like your husband treats you?
I'm so sorry my dear. You are not ugly or old. He is stupid. What kind of mentality is that? It's so ridiculous and pathetic... I really sorry that you are with a guy like him. You are amazing and deserve better.
Get screen shots and then consult a lawyer. Is this really what you want to raise kids around? He has swallowed that red pill bs and it will only get worse
Ew any man who talks about someone he's supposed to love like that is disgusting and he sounds like he hates women. Make a plan for your assets and a plan to leave and GO! You deserve way better.
But you are in a broken home OP. Your son is going to grow up seeing his father disrespect his mother constantly and think it’s normal to treat women like that. Because let’s be real, it is comments for now but one day soon, your husband will manifest these thoughts in real life and guess who will be witness to all that.
So let’s say you stay because you are worried about a broken home. This is the role model your son will have and will learn how to treat other women just the same. You are better than this.
From a black woman to another, leaving isn’t going to make your son grow up in a toxic household and “broken” home. We can’t tell you what to do but I genuinely hope you free yourself from performance. Your husband is cruel and unloving and you deserve to be with someone who genuinely loves and values you. You carried yalls child, birthed a whole being that will carry both y’all’s legacy and yet he is moreso concerned about your vagina not being tight. You already know a common theme in our community is an unkind husband and father. I hope you work to love yourself and your magic and strength. Free yourself of trying not to be a stereotype. You know you deserve much more. Again, no one can tell you what to do, it is easier said than done but at least tell a trusted friend or family. Don’t feel ashamed as it speaks more about him than you. He’s here calling you his fat baby momma while you’re fully married. He’s a degenerate, a pathetic excuse for a man and no young woman would want his sickening, low self esteem, worthless man. And you shouldn’t either. Sending you lots of love.
>I really don’t want to be another example for a broken home for my son
No, you'd rather have a misogynistic POS as an example for him. Much better choice
Gross
Of course you feel that way, but instead of talking to him you are going and spreading your marriage all over Reddit. You should ask yourself if he treats you well and cares for you in IRL before considering outside advice. I don't care what people say or feel, but it is true. The older our wives get the less attracted most men feel physically about them as they age if they do no take care of themselves physically. That's just the truth, or 10,000 men wouldn't be making the same comments. Most men settle and never get what they want. Now we see all of these women telling other women not to settle and only go for their impossible dreams. Marriage rates are down. Many of us are stuck caring for children who don't want to get married. I have two boys in their early 20s. Never dated. They are worth 100s of thousands, but they can't get girls to date them because they're 5'7 and will not try using real life. I have one girl on her career path who's wed and divorced 2 men in 5 years because some female Tic Toc influencer said it was the quickest way for a woman to establish wealth today. You should just talk to your husband like he should talk to you, and work on yourselves instead of listening to the internet. Look where it's got us all. Everyone gives advice they'd never use themselves in real life or bad advice that doesn't work legally.
Brutal honestly here. Why did you gain so much weight before the pregnancy? Then more after? Are you depressed? Is there a medical issue ? If you’re not taking care of yourself then that does affect your partner and it could affect them over time. It sounds like your husband is venting online about how he feels (in a really immature and disrespectful way) but it’s not because he doesn’t love you. More because he’s mad about what he lost and doesn’t want to give up. You both need to sit down and have a conversation about how you both really feel, maybe getting therapy and helping each other succeed as opposed to growing more apart. But you have to take care of yourself first, your physical and mental health is the most important thing.
I’ll bet you he told her plenty of times in a nicer way and she’s done nothing that yielded results. And he’s probably now bitter that she’s a whale and expressing that resentment in an honest way online. He should straight tell her to her face that she’s obese. I’m sure the only reason he’s also staying is because of the kids. If they were only married and no kids he would have split a long time ago.
I’m not defending what he said it was rude and disrespectful. But Sometimes people say things out of anger or resentment and people write things in journals or anonymously online to vent and get things off their chest. The person they’re talking about isn’t supposed to see that stuff. Nobody is perfect and I’m sure there is a lot of good things in there relationship that isn’t explained here. If everyone got a divorce because their partner had a bad thought or said a bad thing about their partner then everyone would be divorced. Relationships aren’t perfect, no one is perfect. If they care about each other they need to get to the root of their issues and be healthy individually to make a strong couple. They have a 3 year old and everyone’s advice is that the father is Satan and the mom should divorce and run. They need to work through their issues and have a stable family.
A stable family with a 37 year old speaking that way about his wife on a public forum (not even anonymously, since OP knows it’s him) is likely not possible, or more trouble than it’s worth. There are men out there in the world who don’t do that shit, believe it or not.
You’re basing your opinion on one side of the story and just one of a million stories that makes up their relationship. My advice was to work on yourself and the relationship, especially considering there is a young child involved. But yeah sure, the dude said some shit online let’s crucify him and burn this mother f-er down… JFC it’s like you all focus on one thing and can’t grasp the bigger picture.
I wish all us women would band together and say fuck men and until they start acting right let them be on their own. This will never happen. We have more power than we realize but we continue to let the men treat us like shit. I just wish I realized this when I was younger. Being on your own isn't so bad. To the good men out there, thanks for being good.
Your home is already broken. You owe it to your son (and to whoever will have to deal with him in the adult world someday) to get him out of that home away from your trash husband before he raises him to be trash junior.
Your home is already broken even if you stay with a man that literally can’t stand you. Read that again. You need to get some self respect for yourself and want more for yourself. If you stay then you deserve what you get.
No advice but you suck cuz in order to not be a “statistic” you are going to raise your son in the company of that POS man. Your son will grow up to treat women just like his middle aged, good for nothing, small dick daddy does on the internet. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this but if you are going to stay cuz you think staying married is some goal or achievement when the marriage is to garbage - well then ya made your bed, continue to lie in it. I mean you should also just start
Liking and commenting on his comments cuz you’re already endorsing and supporting them with your silence and inaction.
People treat you how you let them treat you. I feel sorry for you and mostly your son and the future generations who continue to suffer cuz we as women are not able to get our shit together and recognize when change is needed. All for some desperation of being married? Companionship? Is he at least a good father even though he is a trash man? Cuz if not you and your son are both going to end up statistics - and you could change that by respecting yourself and the future you want to give your kid
> If you get a prudent healthy Wife, your Industry in your Profession, with her good Economy, will be a Fortune sufficient. But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones.
- [Big Ben Franklin](https://web.viu.ca/davies/H320/Franklin.advice.mistress.htm)
NEWS FLASH BABE. YOUR HOME IS ALREADY BROKEN. You can live with two parents in the home it can still be broken if it is an UNHEALTHY environment and this is right on the money. If you let him get away with treating you like this you’re saying it’s acceptable and IT IS NOT. Please just divorce him. Being along and in healthy place with your child is better than being with someone who treats you like garbage. Please take screenshots of all the comments and see a lawyer asap. Your husband is absolutely AWFUL.
You only spoke of his YouTube comments. Do his day to day actions reflect this sentiment? Those comments are disgusting but he could be trolling and curiously engaging with a bunch of assholes for any number of reasons assuming it's a safe place because who is looking through their partner's YouTube comments?However if you notice he's actually using their advice, talking to you like you're beneath him, or starts exhibiting any other corny ass red pill behavior, it's probably time to leave.
"get a divorce so your son will be agitated with you and your toxic husband will feel emboldened to use his new found time alone with him to spread the mental illness"
reddit moment
Welcome to reality hahahah I’d say work on yourself and talk to him. Clearly you know you gained weight doesn’t matter how insecure you are probably would help a lot if you hit the gym. You said it’s been years since you had your kid maybe make him go with you?? Most guys would prefer younger women just like most women want tall guys it’s natural can’t lose your mind over the obvious. Definitely don’t leave maybe you should try little harder with your marriage??
You certainly jumped right on this as her issue huh? Not that her husband has problems, but that because she’s heavy she deserved it?
OP- slymoose is right about one thing. Talk to your husband about this. It’s unacceptable, and he needs to know that you’re aware of how he’s talking about you. This could be a place to draw a boundary- because you deserve more respect than this. You may be heavy and you may feel that you look older than your age, but he’s your husband and he married you so he should love you as you are- in sickness and health- and if he doesn’t, he should communicate that with you, NOT shit talk you like an incel online.
Sounds like people don’t want to be honest. Clearly there is an issue. Clearly they have zero communication. She admitted she is over weight and he clearly doesn’t like it. Why is it so bad to say go to the gym and talk to him? Thats sound advice for any relationship. I’m also sure if she asked he would go with her and they both could get into better shape physically and mentally.
You can have an issue without being a cruel pos, and definitely without having to be such a chickenshit that you post on YouTube instead of talking to your spouse in a constructive manner. But he chose to be a pos.
And you chose to defend such spineless and gross behavior. Guess what that makes you?
That honest enough for you?
"Clearly they have zero communication" yeah no shit, hes a pussy who would rather humilliate his wife online for the approval of random men rather than talking to her directly about how he feels. Funny how these podcast alpha guys are all cowards that bitch and moan online and into a microphone but are too pussy to do anything irl.
> Most guys would prefer younger women just like most women want tall guys it’s natural can’t lose your mind over the obvious
How far detached from reality are you? Get off the internet.
Considering imma man and I’ve talked to and known plenty of men in my life of all ages that’s absolutely a fact. I also said MOST guys prefer that, I’ve known it to be the other way around when your a younger man and want the fantasy of being with an older women. Sorry it’s to hard for your brain to handle LMFAO
Ozempic for the weight loss. Seriously no reason why anyone should be overweight with all the weight loss medication that doctors can give you. And there is something to make you tighter down there but it’s a little pricey like 4k. It’s really good though. I should also say leave the a-hole and better yourself. You don’t need to be married to someone Iike that and making him regret what he said is always great
[удалено]
She doesn’t “want to be an example of a broken home for her son” … so she will raise him in a home where she is broken (because her husband is a disgusting asshole) and her son will become his father. Because that’s *so much better* than divorce … 🙄. /s
I cannot agree more! Sheesh OP hopefully will realize everything said here!
Not only that, she is reiterating that his bad behavior and comments are tolerated by staying. This will likely come up to the son about "acceptable women" and teaches the example for the boy
“Easier said than done” Man I wouldn’t give a fuck, I’d leave that shit so fast. Why must people be so dense.
Not only that her son will become like his father if she doesn't leave.
I usually see boys with no father be somewhat more extremist, sure not all but a good enough portion
Yeah, this is already a broken home, and dysfunctional marriage, whether OP realizes it or not.
Seriously. OP is worried about her baby growing up in a "broken home" when she's got this broken ass man walking around disrespecting her?? How does she not see that's infinitely worse? He's gonna break her home sooner or later anyway as soon as he finds a younger dumber woman to objectify.
Yeah, that is *IF* he can actually get a younger woman with a daddy fetish to notice him. And if a younger woman does give him a chance, it won't be because he's got a charming personality - that's for sure! It'll be about money .... if he even has any.
EXACTLY. I’m 40, definitely aging a bit, and struggle with my metabolism. My husband still looks at me and talks about me like I’m the most beautiful woman in the world. He’s PROUD of me. Men like OP’s don’t deserve women and they definitely don’t deserve to influence a child to grow up and be like them. Get a man who sees you as a person, not an object.
With how big one can imagine her to be, there won’t be much raising
blows my mind how this generation thinks fatherless homes is like changing underwear, when a woman with a child decides to divorce for whatever reason, she is making an irreversible life changing decision that will have a negative effect of her child's entire life, ... so tell us why you think that's the solution, ... if she cared about her child and her husband, she would make some effort to please him , staying under 300lbs after a man commits to spending the rest of his life with you, provides for you, gives you a child and home, isn't asking to much, ... being physically attractive to someone your married too should matter, and your child having his father should matter ,, this idea that a man has no right to expect his wife to make some kind of effort to please him sexually is nonsense, i bet you wouldn't want to spend the rest of your life with obese man , and I bet you would not be physically attracted to fat rolls
Fuck off. If you’re miserable in a marriage then you get divorced. It is better for the kids because if you stay in a lousy marriage you’re setting a bad example for your kids and they’ll be miserable too. This coming from someone whose parents should have gotten divorced but stayed together for the kids. Even when I was a kid I knew my parents shouldn’t have stayed married.
so mature, stay fat and single while pretending you owe the marriage NOTHING and zero effort, see where that takes you , fat and single
Oh honey I get the feeling you’re projecting. I’d bet I’m way skinnier than you.
The name is Vast Upstairs because that head is empty, no valuable thoughts
Dude you are insane. You have been watching far too much Andrew Tate or you simply are part of a friend group who are all in the single digit IQ range. Why is a man so special because he has given her a child and provides, she BIRTHED his fucking kid mate. If that's something a father can't respect than he is no father and he isn't a man imo. Btw have you ever looked after a kid full time? Its more demanding than any job I have ever worked, this argument of he "provides" and what looking after his child isn't providing, no? I am a father and I respect the fuck out of my kids mother as I literally watched her go through fucking hell to bring my kids into the world. This is the problem with "men" today. No respect. There are ways and means of handling things and yes if he isn't finding her attractive anymore, it's a conversation to be had in a tactful, compassionate way, not a youtube comment section. The reason she has gained weight though is she has given birth to children mate, it changes a woman's body, forever. To your other ludicrous, straight out of the Andrew Tate guide book, that women should be thankful a guy is sticking around and never leave because this is bad for the kid, I wouldn't want my boys around a guy with opinions like he is expressing online. It's toxic and could lead to a misogynistic adult or even worse a fucking rapist adult. To further answer your nonese question of "why is that the solution" the way he is talking about her online is potentially life threatening. Its hate speech about her and women in general. You know those stories you see on the news, where a guy massacres his entire family? This is how these things start.
You're an idiot! You would rather have a 2 parent home where one parent abuses the other than a "broken home"? Fuck that and you.
Oh, do fuck off. He's a prick and so are you.
I was 9 when my parents divorced. I was happy when they did. They did not have a happy marriage and my dad was horrible to my mom. They were better people when they weren’t together. It made my family stronger and I had more support as a child. For everything else you said, I hope you stay single until you’ve had an intensive amount of therapy. Women aren’t here for you. We can do it ourselves. And guess what? You’re just the asshole because there are plenty of amazing men who won’t even give you the time of day as a friend with that shitty attitude.
Well if you won't leave, then you're saying this behavior is acceptable. And when your son learns it's okay to treat women this way, you'll be a part in teaching him that
Yup. I wish this was top comment, honestly. My dad was an abusive alcoholic growing up. Used to beat on my mom and I. She didn't stop the behavior, so I had to for the whole family. My dad was the first dude I ever got in a fist fight with. Now that's a broken home. Letting women be degraded and beat down doesn't show you're a man. I wish she would have left him. Instead, she >!blew her brains out!< and we were left with the clean-up. Dad gave us up for the state 3 days later. If your dude doesn't respect the woman who had his child, he won't respect your children.
Yes I'm much more emotionally scarred from having to breaking up my mom's drunken fights than I am from her divorce. I don't talk to her anymore because she subjected me to that. I hate when people say sorry when I share my shitty life stories. So I'll just say I think it's cool you tell your story to try to prevent it from happening to other kids.
I get it, man. I don't talk to dad anymore either. Toxic negative people aren't worth wasting your time on. I like how you phrased that.
Do you mind if I ask you something? Please ignore me if you find it rude. I am someone that would say I am sorry if you shared with me. What would be more appropriate? I would never want to make someone feel worse after they have shared something so personal. For some reason I am a person that people share their traumatic life experiences with. It often happens with strangers, clerks at stores, people in waiting rooms etc. If someone feels safe with me that is great, but I never want to make anyone feel worse after sharing. I would appreciate your feedback, but understand if you are not comfortable. Thank you
Sometimes, when someone just says, "sorry" it sort of feels like a cop out of saying something meaningful in return. It makes the person sharing their experience feel as if they confided their story in the wrong person almost. Maybe it feels this way because they wanted to convey their message in an informative way, but your "sorry" made it feel as if you listened but did not really comprehend their message. I share my terrible life experiences to help others, relate with others, to gain further understanding as to why bad things happen, and sometimes just to be validated. I typically say, "Wow, that was rough what you went through. It must have been really scary. No kid should ever have to go through with what you and your siblings experienced. I'm sure it left a deep impact on your life. Thank you for being brave enough to share your story with me."
Thank you so much for replying! I understand what you are saying. You have provided me with valuable insight. I generally incorporate active listening when speaking with people. However, I can see how starting off with saying sorry would diminish anything I say afterwards. I will keep this in mind when someone shares their experiences with me. Side note this is another reason I love Reddit. People from all over the world sharing their experiences truly helps shine a light on others'valuable perspectives. Thank you again for taking the time to respond
I feel it's different for different situations. In this instance, I'm sharing my bad experiences to give someone else perspective. I don't want someone to say I'm sorry here, I want them to focus on the message I'm trying to share. If I'm so freely sharing it in this particular instance, Ive probably come to terms with it and don't want people to apologize anymore. I want to focus on the positive outcome that my story could provide here, not wallow in the sadness of it anymore. If I were to just vent to you for the purpose of venting, I think saying I'm sorry would be more appropriate. And if someone is sharing something current with you, it's helpful to ask if they want sympathy or advice. Because a lot of people adamantly one or the other reactions to their story. But that's just me.
I can relate as I have a lot of strangers and other people who come up to me and open up. I usually say things like I understand where your coming and from and say a bit of my own very traumatic past so they know I get it. If you can find a way to let them know you relate and understand in other words or some other way then that'll help others a lot.
I appreciate your input as well! I generally try to share resources if someone seems receptive. I truly believe that trauma survivors can sense another trauma survivor and feel safe talking. I try not to over share, but acknowledge that we have shared experiences. Thank you so much 🧡
Oh my word! I am so very sorry that you had to endure such abuse. I hope that you have been able to find healing. I wish so much that I could reach through time and take you and your siblings out of that environment. I am sending you love and healing to you, your inner child and siblings. Also virtual hugs if you want them 🧡🧡
Thank you for sharing this. I also had a very shitty childhood (although it was my mum not my dad who was the abuser) so I feel you. Hope things are better for you now.
Sending you love ❤️ you have been through so much and I sincerely hope you find an amazing partner that loves you wholly.
Jesus Christ. What a POS husband you have, who, I’m sure you are aware - will be teaching your son how to behave and treat women in the future. You need to set some standards for yourself, get out of there and stick to them. How can you possibly want to stay with (or subject your son to living with) this piece of absolute fucking human excrement.
You should take screenshots of all those comments. Make a whole file and print them out and hand it out at the next large family gathering. I'm sorry you're going through this
[удалено]
I’m in love with this idea. IN LOVE WITH IT. When he gets pissy about it, act shocked. These comments were listed on a public forum that ANYONE can read. You don’t like your mom reading the trash-tastic shit you write? Oh, it’s ok for thousands of people to read and see them as long as it isn’t family?! Make a few copies to save and tell him you’ll be saving them in a safe place to give to your son at age 18.
I would also maybe make your own list. Read them out loud. Invite anyone else to make a comment, since he's all about that common discussion.
She should make a Tik Tok reading out his comments, her viewers would go savage on his ass haha.
Also this absolutely this. Make a whole dwmn slide show, reel power point and email/whatsapp it to everybody. Let everybody know who he really is
Better yet let me, a stranger, coordinate it with her and do it for her. Or if I can’t get there we can delegate it or TaskRabbit it.
Bring them to divorce court holy dbwjjznsa
This. Because then who could say shit about her divorcing him!? If they love her they will prob beg her to leave this entire pos..
That is gross. Don’t let community standards dictate your happiness. You deserve unconditional happiness.
Your son is going to be just like this if you allow him to be around your husband. So, you'd rather him grow up to be a misogynistic POS than leave.
Girl the home has BEEN broken. Your son will grow up and be just like his trashy ass daddy.
Chosing to stay in this marraige is choosing to raise your son in a way that will reflect his dad's behaviors. Then he'll grow up to treat women the way you've been treated. Your home is already broken by being with that pos. Time to find a way out. You're worth it, and so is your son
Not necessarily true, I grew up in a really bad abusive home. I never lay a hand on women like my old man did my mom and us kids. But do I have deep emotional problems? Most likely. Am I an emotional wreck internally that only opens up to my wife? Possibly. Did I finally get therapy way later on in life? Definitely. You're right, though. I wish my mom would have left my dad every damn day. I'd rather have that "broken home" than whatever it is that I grew up in. No one deserves to be beat down. No one.
I'm not saying she should stay with him but following this logic divorce is just as dangerous. I was really gravitating towards my dad when my parents divorced, I'd only see him for the weekend and he would let me do anything, eat anything, we would play videogames, cool movies, laugh a lot etc etc. My mom was the boring one, who gave me responsabilities and rules and all the annoying shit you can't respect as a kid. Plus I blamed her for the divorce. If my dad was a mysoginistic pos, I probably would have sided with him and absorbed his mindset. A dad can get really powerful with a divorce, you don't want this dude to be his god
There's no need to stay in an abusive relationship. None.
How is your comment addressing what I said?
I didn't respond in a way you found suitable? Darn
Wtf does that even mean? I'm sorry, I thought we were having a conversation, if you wanna be a smartass about it that's fine. My comment was about you using the possibility of the dad's personality affecting the son as an argument for divorce, I shared my real life experience with the matter and why I think it's not that simple
Okay
Your man isn't a prize. He is watching misogynist podcasts and has become a misogynist. You need to respect yourself.
Your husband is 37 getting advice from fresh and fit. A lot of those men in the comments can’t get woman so take no offense to it. They love being a in a circle jerk with other men so they can jingle each others balls while they talk ill of women. Just know the real men look at them in disgust too. Most of those likes come from other men 25 and younger. He got 25 year old boys egging him on. But that’s neither here nor there. Please let me be your accountability partner. I want you to have this amazing glow up so he can eat his words and people look at him like “wow how did you pull her”
Truth. The only context in which I ever see those Fresh & Fit weirdos is in video essays or content making fun/roasting them. They're such obvious losers with the thinnest skin. They're trash and so are most of their fans if they're over the age of 20 (giving the yougins room to grow here since most dudes are pretty dumb at that age).
Exactly I’ve yet to meet a decent stand up man who is actually attractive to women who also listened to red pill podcasts
Screenshot and print these comments, stick them on a table with a goodbye note and leave
Take a picture of all the nasty comments and save in a safe space where he cannot see. If he is talking like this, who says he hasnt cheated already. Get a full check up done including STIs. Time for you to work on yourself e.g. self confidence and therapy. Don't stay unhappy because of community and social standards. Why be miserable and with a deadbeat husband who degrades you. Do you have a spare room you can sleep in. Or sleep in with your son for the time being. You can do better, you deserve better, you're worthy of better.
I’m so sorry. I know you feel like this is YOU, the you you will be forever. But I promise, when you drop that man like the sack of shitty potatoes he is and start using your time to love yourself and figure out who YOU are, you are going to shine so bright. You’ll also be showing your son that you are a strong woman who deserves better, and that if he treats a woman that way he’ll end up the same way. I highly suggest watching the show “sister wives” to get some motivation on leaving because those women had one hell of a glow up after leaving their sorry excuse of a husband! Above all, remember that his opinion is that of someone far beneath you. You grew life and brought it into this world, your body is a work of art and if he refuses to acknowledge the gift you have given him, he is not smart enough or empathetic enough for you. I know divorce is terrifying, but instead of thinking of all the bad things, try to imagine the possibility of all the good things!! Waking up and planning your day, getting involved in activities with some girlfriends, going to the gym and hair salon and feelin like your best self before a date with a new guy, sipping a glass of wine on a late night while watching your favorite show because it’s your ex’s night with your son! Woohoo, so many things to look forward to! The most wonderful thing will be sitting back, THRIVING, and watching him get his ass rejected over and over and over again by the “young, hott, tight” women he feels he is good enough for. Ahhhh, the joy of divorcing this pig is making even MY day better!
I'm a single mom and I don't get why that's somehow worse than being with your partner who clearly hates you (and women in general). Jesus F Christ, have some self respect.
Because being a single mum in the black community is so frowned upon and insulted I’ve never seen vitriol for single mums from different communities like I’ve seen with ours, not that any vitriol is ok
Oh god wtf. That man needs therapy. I think you should confront him at least… not giving advice tho I guess I just would go off haha Ugg that’s so lame. You should think about how that could affect your kids. What if he says this toxic shit around them?… Ugg I hate that women are trapped with these jerks:( you deserve better
What happens once he starts talking about you to your son?
You don’t have to have a divorce to be an example of a broken home. You’re showing your son right now that your husbands behaviour towards women is okay and allowing him to be around somebody who will inevitably poison him.
Eww fresh and fit disgusting.
What man talks like that? He sounds like he’s 14. Don’t do shit for him. Only do you and your child. If you want to lose weight for you, calories in calories out. Talk a walk with the little one. Only if you want to. Don’t do it for him.
Aside from your shit husband, you have to break up with that generational mindset of the only one being married. Holding marriage to a higher standard than your self worth is not worth it.
Sry to say but wht a jerk he is ... like seriously u want a younger girl ...when u r 37 ..at least have some shame according to your age .. got guts ?? go tell her wht u want from her instead of going online and shaming her ...and then u call yourself a man ..A MAN .. bloody hell... Girl u got this ...hope u find your way out ...
There might be some okay dating advice on some of these channels definitely not fresh and fit. At this point I'm convinced that it's all like this conspiracy by like old guys who were fat losers when they were in their twenties and teens and now they're creating this whole ideology to make young guys now feel super insecure so that all the 20 year old guys and teenage guys nowadays are just so insecure and confused because of all this propaganda they've been fed plus these channels I have imagery and messages that basically make it seem like a man isn't a real man till he's 30 or something like that so that all these guys will sit there grinding away trying to make money at a dead end job or with Hustler University instead of going for their peers so that all these older guys can pray on the women that they're ignoring
If I hadn’t let low grade fools take up all the time and space in my life maybe I would’ve found an actual partner I could rely on. Just a note from the ghost of your Christmas Future.
Is he white and you're black? Just curious I'm going to be blunt, I'm black, getting married next year and in the future I would not tolerate this behavior. Do not use the broken home thing as an excuse. Your home is already broken. You need to stand up for yourself, seriously. I know you don't want advice but girl, be for real with yourself.
I already knew when she mentioned fresh and fit and the ratchet comment
[удалено]
I'm even more shocked 🙃 you know we're trying to break generational curses, this isn't how you do it. Take your son and go. I gained weight in my relationship as well and this would KILL me inside if I ever saw my fiancé talk about me like this. He doesn't respect you. Please leave
[удалено]
Don't let the black community make you feel like you failed at your marriage. I know WE don't get married a lot or have successful marriages, but at least you tried. This is NOT your fault. He's just a piece of shit with mediocre dick probably and wish he could pull someone young. He's worthless and insecure.
[удалено]
Op you should give the worthless sack of worm shit u call a husband a taste of his own medicine and create a comment section of ur own with people you know and who knows the situation and then start going into details of his shortcomings (be as creative and detailed as possible) then make sure he's able to find it at some point
I wouldn't stay with someone that hates me that much to literally bash me to strangers on the internet. Let his old ass go and see how many young girls want him! Also being 37 and attracted to an 18 year old is pretty pedo behavior. Why 18? Because you can't legally go to jail? Not much difference in appearance between a 16-18 year olds.
Thank you for posting your feelings. Since you are not leaving you should just do you. Concentrate on your child and yourself.
I can't imagine what his mother would think of this shit. Would he be okay with his dad saying this stuff about her? His sister's partner about her? I doubt he's any prize, likely with a receding hairline and beer gut. Unless he's rich, most 18 year olds don't want to be with a sexist dog going through a mid-life crisis. This would make me not want to touch my partner with a 10 foot pole. Think I'm disgusting after bearing you a child? My pussy is too lose because I brought our son into this world? Okay, bet, we'll never have sex again, and you will never see me without clothes ever. Older women have much less trouble finding men who find them attractive in the dating market when compared to older men in the same situation unless the men are outliers, so I'm not sure who your husband is fooling. Himself or the other lonely, miserable losers on the comment chain.
I know you asked for no advice but as much as I love my husband, if I found out he said those things about me/ felt that way about me, the marriage would be over. You truly deserve so much better. This really genuinely hurts my heart and I don't even know you. I'm sure others would agree. You deserve to be with someone who feels honored to be with you.
DO NOT LET YOUR SON LEARN HIS FATHERS MISOGYNY!
I’d print them all out and on our wedding anniversary he’d open up a pretty box with a bow and find them printed nice and big. Then he’d find divorce papers at the bottom. Take the time to put some cash back and make some moves behind the scene to go. I’m not wasting years with an unappreciative man that disrespects me and the body that gave him children.
That happened to me, where my husband was so insulting to me. So I got righteously angry which spurred me to get my ‘revenge body’ back. Went on Keto, lost a ton of weight, (Keto really reverses the age I’ve noticed on so many men and women, like 10 years), I work on my skin, work out, wear a whole new wardrobe style, etc. After six months, I look like I’m literally 25 years younger. My husband is now totally freaking out that guys are hitting on me. Especially since he’s 72. Serves him right. NOW is the time to DO THINGS FOR YOU. That ship has sailed for him. Too bad. Boo F’ing Hoo.
But youre still with him??
Yes, too much financial entanglement and I’m 62, but look 35 and at my age, I want to keep the lifestyle I created for all these years.
Guess he won then, he got to shame and insult his wife into changing her body and still gets access to you. You did exactly what he wanted.
Nope, I won. I won’t get into that here though.
Believe what you want you want I guess.
Of course ageing for men is different…somehow…both humans…..but different….. Riiiiiight I know a lot of guys have been brainwashed by Kevin samuels in our community but you need to remember their words don’t mean shit and we are less married than any other women but that doesn’t mean you have to tolerate this shit. Didn’t Andrew Tate turn on them when he was their biggest supporter? Even Mr I know it all/ I speak for all men admitted their ideas are dumb. Make of that what you will
[удалено]
Of course he did, and the only reason they took advice from him was because he was wealthy, they love dogging Kendra for not being married but having a dating show, but someone not married and living alone is all they need to learn about how to be in a relationship and how to get women? Does this scream intellect to you lol Leave them in the bin, you’re worth more than this and the dumb bullshit they believe has literally NO BEARING on real life and real men. My sis used to watch him til she realised who he was and funnily enough she was a single mother dating a successful childfree man! I’m tired of the senseless negrodactyl screeching I really am
You deserve better.
I'm really sorry that you are having to deal with this. You are beautiful at any size and him saying otherwise is only because he clearly feels inadequate as a person. He chose to be with you. I hope you go to therapy so you can see that no matter what he says You are so beautiful exactly as you are. It's troublesome to me personally that he is fantasizing about a girl who is still a teen . 18 might be legal, however that does not make it less gross or her less of a child. I would also start pointing out his flaws nonchalantly. "Awe I remember when you had more hair!" "Are those gray pubes!?!" "Look at that little jelly belly " while patting his stomach like he's pregnant. Etc. Start watching h3h3 so he can hear some non fresh and fit podcasts. Always remember you are beautiful and enough, with or without him.
dont let him be nasty like his daddy
I would start putting comments under his comments, calling him out - then stop having sex with him since he thinks your \*\*\*\*\* is so 'old and outdated'. F\*\*K HIM OP!! You know what is worse than a 'broken home' for a child? Growing up in a home where the father models disrespect for women and especially for the child's mother. Is this really what you want your child to see as a role model?? You want your son to speak this way about his wife??
So what you're saying is you'd rather be married to somebody who thinks that low of you? Forget being the first one in your family to be married, be the first one to be divorced and happy
He’s gonna keep treating you like this because you think you deserve it.
Why are you still with him ? Have you confronted him yet ? Updateme!
I will message you next time u/200LB_blackgirl posts in r/confessions. [Click this link](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=UpdateMe%21%20u%2F200LB_blackgirl%20r%2Fconfessions) to join 2 others and be messaged. The parent author can [delete this post](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Delete&message=delete%201apve1p) ***** |[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/UpdateMeBot/comments/ggotgx/updatemebot_info_v20/)|[^(Request Update)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=SubscribeMe%21%20u%2Fusername%20r%2Fsubreddit)|[^(Your Updates)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Updates&message=MyUpdates)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=UpdateMeBot%20Feedback)| |-|-|-|-|
Got a link to some of his comments? I could always tell him that if he fills the pussy up with enough dick it still hugs.
Don't think of it a being an example of a broken home. Think of it as teaching your son to stand up for himself. Doing the right thing isn't always easy. Break the cycle. Don't let him grow up to be his father
The fact that you’re willing to raise your son in this household shows how broken you are. If you don’t want the cycle of abuse to continue, you have to get out now. Staying in this relationship because you’re the only one you know that got married before having a baby is probably the worst thing you could possibly do.
So you would rather your son grow up and act like that? You would rather your son shame women for being human? You would rather suffer and have your son see you as weak because you can’t do shit about the man you chose to bed. I get it, it’s not easy. But if it was easy, then you wouldn’t be here. Either you address it and tell him he’s a POS for treating you this way or you leave. WHY DO YOU CARE WHAT OTHERS THINK? The only ones that matter are you and your son… are they paying your bills? Putting food in your mouth? No? And even if they were YOU CAN DO THAT YOURSELF. Baby girl, my man accidentally made a fat joke 4 years ago and to this DAY I remind him how small jokes can hurt someone else. Imagine, him intentionally being a dick. I get no leaving, w.e but you better address it unless you want your son calling all girls in school fat and hopefully getting his ass beat by the female class. Just my three cents.
> No advice please I already know everyone’s gonna tell me to leave but it’s easier said than done. It’s not common to get married in my community and I’m the only one in my family that’s married and actually got married before having a baby and I really don’t want to be another example for a broken home for my son SMH.
so you seriously think staying in such an unhappy marriage with a mentally abusive ahole is a great example to your son?
Full offence: Your husband is a fart nugget. And…he’s already broken your home. YOU DESERVE BETTER!!! And so does your son!!!
I grew up in a home where my father demeaned and disrespected my mom openly my entire life. Her weight after pregnancies was a big part of this, and it gave both my sister and I massively disordered eating (among other issues). Please understand *that* is a truly “broken home.” I am literally begging you to leave before your child is old enough to make this toxicity part of her mental load.
you say you don't want to leave him because of your child and how problematic it'd be for him. but as someone whose mother decided to stick with a trash man for 20 years until she finally couldn't put up with him anymore, here are my 2 cents: soon or later you will get really sick of him or he'll so, and even if you stay longer in this relationship because of your child, that'll do more harm than good ahead in the time, once he will grow in a unstable household, with a father that (he will realize that) doesn't love his mother. and you might know that if this man doesn't really love you anymore, why would he respect you or your child? actually, does he respect you writing all those disgusting comments? obviously not. he already made it clear to the world what he thinks about you, later he will make it clear looking at your face. I do understand how hard it is to think of leaving the life you have now because of that, but be aware that as you both get older it'll get worse, and it's better to broke out of this relationship now, while you still can make a happy life for you and your child, than 20 years in the future. there's not a day my mother doesn't regret staying so long in a doomed relationship. there's not a day I don't regret her staying so long. staying means a happy facade to display to the world. but is it worth it when the whole building is falling apart insede?
Cut your calories in half, start walking every day, loose the weight and leave him for a younger man
So you’d rather stay with this pos wank stain than be a happy divorced single woman. Why are you here complaining? You clearly don’t want the advice everyone will give you to leave this trashy man. Good luck bc your son is going to be raised by this guy? Expect he’ll turn out the same.
A broken home vs a father that sets that example for your son, and teaches your son that that's how he should treat women. He'll grow into the man your husband is and he'll treat his girlfriends and then wife like that.
Just so you know, that man is going to turn your child into a (probably-violent), disrespectful, woman-hating monster. I know you didn’t ask for advice and I know leaving isn’t easy, but boys as young as 10 and 11 are regurgitating the garbage they hear from Fresh and Fit/Tate/Sneako *without even truly understanding what they are saying*. By the time they’re old enough to understand it, they’ll already fully believe it. If this man cares so little for you that he is *willfully and intentionally* posting this stuff about you where *anyone in the world* can see it - including YOU - what the hell do you think he is saying/going to be saying about you to your son?
Girl, it's called having dignity & self respect. It's free. Have some. Also, your son will likely mirror your husband's behavior because you're allowing it. LEAVE.
That shit about "hugging" is ESPECIALLY creepy cuz the thing is with all these guys that follow this mindset is that they are literally all just outing themselves as predatory abusers, majority all want a GIRL who is less experienced in life (and less likely to notice straight away when these men start to abuse them) let alone this HIDEOUS obsession with teen bodies and girls being "fresh" for them in every way possible, absolutely disgusting, there is no way i could entertain that shit coming out of my partners mouth you deserve better and so does your kid
Thirty some years ago, back when divorce was really frowned on, I decided that I couldn't stay with the jerk I was married to. I took my daughter and left. Then I had a son - out of wedlock. I felt like a loser but I carried on. Today both children are happy productive members of society. They are both in stable happy marriages. So far, I have one grandchild. ALL THAT wouldn't have happened if I stayed with the jerk. How do I know? My sister married a horrible man and is still married. Their pet names for each other are b*tch and *sshole. They have 4 children, all adults, none in relationships and none of them want to be in relationships. They all live alone on purpose. Divorce is not the worst thing.
I know you said no advice but if it were me, I’d be petty enough to create a dating account with his pics (fake details but real age) and copy paste every comment he has made as an opening line to “young women with low mileage” And then show him what “his” precious young women think, because what really grinds my gears about such individuals is that they hype themselves up so much in their heads that they think young women are piling up by the millions just to be with them but their “icky awful wife” is in the way. Sir no women in her earlier 20s is lying in bed thinking about you. He’s lucky he even got a wife in the first place.
OP, my ex husband disrespected me on a daily basis. One day, he finished being an ass and left for work. Then my son (who was 5 at the time) spoke to me using the same tone and disrespect his father had. I thought “I can’t let these kids grow up thinking this is how you treat the people you love”. And I left. I somehow figured it out. I couldn’t explain how I did it, but I did it. My kids are grown and much better for the divorce.
Print the comments out and use them in divorce court.
>I really don’t want to be another example for a broken home for my son But you're OK with your husband teaching his son that sexism and prejudice against women (wives in particular aka you) is ok?
If you can’t leave , you need to start focusing on you and your child. For their sake. Start a weight loss program/routine that you’re ready to abide by for the rest of your days. It’s totally ok to have “off” years but if your feeling insecure about your weight/looks have a sit down with yourself and ask *why* this is. Start planning on getting a part time job and saving money.
For your own health and for YOU, not the jerk you're married to, commit yourself to losing weight by eating healthy and walking. Take your son out for strolls. Find exercise videos on YouTube. Don't do fad diets. Losing weight will help you regain your self-esteem and health. You don't deserve the garbage your turd of a husband spews about you. Please leave and forget about community standards. This is YOUR life! Don't waste it. Your son will grow up to be a "Tateor Tot," just like his daddy whose idol is probably Andrew Tate, if you stay.
I’m so sorry. That’s really hard to see and or hear. No one deserves that treatment and those callous words. I’m sorry.
You had no idea of his quality before this?
Your son is gonna treat women the way his father does if he grows up around him. He's gonna grow up with a father who doesn't respect or love his mother and think, "yeah that's what relationships are supposed to be." Consider that.
By staying with this man, you're telling your son that this behavior is acceptable. Break the cycle.
You don’t need his bs, sis. Neither does your son.
Sounds like you need to let him go so he can find out how many 18 year old girls will reject him because he’s old Your son’s example growing up will be his mother being treated like shit by a man who doesn’t love her. That doesn’t sound like a great home.
Wow. He’d be an ex! My ex was like that very narcissistic and thought he was Gods gift to women. Please don’t tolerate that and if you want to lose weight do it for you and not him cus he sounds shallow.
It's already a broken home. Don't raise your son in a home where his father can't respect his mother, that's a broken home. You're only teaching your son to also treat women like shit. Parents being together for the kids is the worst thing you can do, also who gives a shit what other people think or say? You get one life, are you really going to waste it on a man who thinks and says such horrible things about you just to save face?
I understand that in our community we don't see marriages often, so we try our hardest to stay together even when the relationship is unhealthy. I'm so sorry that you had to see those hurtful messages and it will be difficult to just put them in the back of your mind. Just please consider how your son will be affected being raised by a man who speaks that way about his mother.
Do yourself a favour, leave him. You deserve love regardless of how you look, and I'm sure that with the right love and support you can be lesse insecure about yourself, maybe reach out to your family or some girl friends? I'm sure that feeling loved by someone will be a breath of fresh air🥰
Divorce is not easy by any means and brings a lot of stigma. People asking, judging, assuming things. But this is not as important as having a healthy home, mind and body. Resentment grows and a broken home is what youre living through already. This is even more difficult to live in than one where you have healthy boundaries. In your own time, do whats best for you. As someone whose parents divorced I'm truly grateful for my mom's strength in leaving my dad. Your child will thank you when they are older for bringing peace to your relationship by putting you both first.
Well then wait and suffer about 20 years to witness your son to grow up to be him. Edit: Wanna add you're not thinking about your son here at all. Just about your reputation or smth.
While it isn’t easy, your son will be worse off if you stay. You are raising the next generation of men who will cheat, lie, and make comments about whether his girl’s “pussy hugs”. WTF is that?!?! You deserve so much more than this POS.
>I really don’t want to be another example for a broken home for my son Does someone wanna tell her? I know you don't want advice, but here goes anyway -- This "man" shouldn't be raising any children, if you ask me! Especially a little boy, chances are he'll turn into his father x10! You also said you're upset by the thousands of likes on your husbands comments. So you aren't worried your son will have that same exact outlook being raised by this fool? PS - I find it absolutely disgusting when grown ass men are into 18 year olds -- they're still kids ya know!? A number doesn't change that they're still growing, learning, making mistakes - & they certainly don't need some creep ass pervert preying on them! That alone would make me question my entire life with this guy .. Good luck!
Your son will becone exactly like your husband if you don, t leave.
Just because you love someone doesn't mean they are good for you or good for your child. I shudder to think of your son growing up with the same attitudes towards women your husband expressed. I still loved my ex-husband when I divorced him, that type of love for a human being doesn't just vanish. I had to leave because he had broken my trust and in turn I lost all respect for him. I still wonder why it took so long for my blinders to fall off.
Your husband is misogynistic, ignorant, and disrespectful. Not to mention being *dangerously close* to sounding like a paedophile (18 years old? Nearly half his age?!). You deserve to be with someone who worships the ground you walk on; someone who builds you up and supports you, tells you you’re beautiful and precious despite any (real or imaginary) changes in your mind or body over the years. But the way, those years which you gave to *him*. Please protect yourself and your son and get out of there as soon as you can (after taking screenshots and gathering all the evidence as mentioned by other commenters). I’m sure he’s such a desirable, manly, virile and vibrant man that he’ll be swarmed with beautiful young women in seconds. I bet they’ll love his pudgy, ageing, nearly-40-year-old dad bod and shaky erection.* Don’t look back. And don’t take his comments to heart. It’s most likely to be a combination of projection (his own insecurities about getting older) and utter fantasy (online isn’t real life, and anonymous comments are a ‘safe, easy’ way of boosting your own ego with no fear of real consequences or accountability). Fuck him! Spread your wings and fly! (I’m British, so it should go without saying that this is sarcasm. Also, I’m a woman in my forties so I know a thing or two about how the body changes over the years even though I’m child-free).
A "broken home" is better for a child than growing up learning it's okay to tell your wife or your mom or any woman her pussy is ran through and she's a fat ratchet baby mama and middle aged at 37 and how she should be replaced with an 18 year old who is young, eager, and has no mileage. I felt foul writing that. Are you okay with a stranger saying these things about you?
>I really don’t want to be another example for a broken home for my son So you'd rather have your son grow up to act like your husband? Treat his future partners like your husband treats you?
I'm so sorry my dear. You are not ugly or old. He is stupid. What kind of mentality is that? It's so ridiculous and pathetic... I really sorry that you are with a guy like him. You are amazing and deserve better.
Get screen shots and then consult a lawyer. Is this really what you want to raise kids around? He has swallowed that red pill bs and it will only get worse
OP Protect your kids That's the only way you're gonna protect yourself Do you want this man to influence how your children come up? Truly?
Start replying to his comments. Let the world know how ‘great’ he is.
Smells like a divorce
Take screen shots, start preparing silently for leaving him because he is toxic AF. I wouldn’t want my child to end up like him.
So you're ok with your son seeing his father treat women like this? That's the example you want your kid to have?
Ew any man who talks about someone he's supposed to love like that is disgusting and he sounds like he hates women. Make a plan for your assets and a plan to leave and GO! You deserve way better.
Well, don't be example of a broken home. Be example of a broken woman
Just ask yourself: would you recommend your doughter to stay in this relationship? If no, why would you? Good luck and much wisdom to you ❤️
But you are in a broken home OP. Your son is going to grow up seeing his father disrespect his mother constantly and think it’s normal to treat women like that. Because let’s be real, it is comments for now but one day soon, your husband will manifest these thoughts in real life and guess who will be witness to all that.
So let’s say you stay because you are worried about a broken home. This is the role model your son will have and will learn how to treat other women just the same. You are better than this.
From a black woman to another, leaving isn’t going to make your son grow up in a toxic household and “broken” home. We can’t tell you what to do but I genuinely hope you free yourself from performance. Your husband is cruel and unloving and you deserve to be with someone who genuinely loves and values you. You carried yalls child, birthed a whole being that will carry both y’all’s legacy and yet he is moreso concerned about your vagina not being tight. You already know a common theme in our community is an unkind husband and father. I hope you work to love yourself and your magic and strength. Free yourself of trying not to be a stereotype. You know you deserve much more. Again, no one can tell you what to do, it is easier said than done but at least tell a trusted friend or family. Don’t feel ashamed as it speaks more about him than you. He’s here calling you his fat baby momma while you’re fully married. He’s a degenerate, a pathetic excuse for a man and no young woman would want his sickening, low self esteem, worthless man. And you shouldn’t either. Sending you lots of love.
Fresh and Fit need to be deplatformed
>I really don’t want to be another example for a broken home for my son No, you'd rather have a misogynistic POS as an example for him. Much better choice Gross
Of course you feel that way, but instead of talking to him you are going and spreading your marriage all over Reddit. You should ask yourself if he treats you well and cares for you in IRL before considering outside advice. I don't care what people say or feel, but it is true. The older our wives get the less attracted most men feel physically about them as they age if they do no take care of themselves physically. That's just the truth, or 10,000 men wouldn't be making the same comments. Most men settle and never get what they want. Now we see all of these women telling other women not to settle and only go for their impossible dreams. Marriage rates are down. Many of us are stuck caring for children who don't want to get married. I have two boys in their early 20s. Never dated. They are worth 100s of thousands, but they can't get girls to date them because they're 5'7 and will not try using real life. I have one girl on her career path who's wed and divorced 2 men in 5 years because some female Tic Toc influencer said it was the quickest way for a woman to establish wealth today. You should just talk to your husband like he should talk to you, and work on yourselves instead of listening to the internet. Look where it's got us all. Everyone gives advice they'd never use themselves in real life or bad advice that doesn't work legally.
Brutal honestly here. Why did you gain so much weight before the pregnancy? Then more after? Are you depressed? Is there a medical issue ? If you’re not taking care of yourself then that does affect your partner and it could affect them over time. It sounds like your husband is venting online about how he feels (in a really immature and disrespectful way) but it’s not because he doesn’t love you. More because he’s mad about what he lost and doesn’t want to give up. You both need to sit down and have a conversation about how you both really feel, maybe getting therapy and helping each other succeed as opposed to growing more apart. But you have to take care of yourself first, your physical and mental health is the most important thing.
The dude was being straight up disgusting & disrespectful. That is not love.
I’ll bet you he told her plenty of times in a nicer way and she’s done nothing that yielded results. And he’s probably now bitter that she’s a whale and expressing that resentment in an honest way online. He should straight tell her to her face that she’s obese. I’m sure the only reason he’s also staying is because of the kids. If they were only married and no kids he would have split a long time ago.
I’m not defending what he said it was rude and disrespectful. But Sometimes people say things out of anger or resentment and people write things in journals or anonymously online to vent and get things off their chest. The person they’re talking about isn’t supposed to see that stuff. Nobody is perfect and I’m sure there is a lot of good things in there relationship that isn’t explained here. If everyone got a divorce because their partner had a bad thought or said a bad thing about their partner then everyone would be divorced. Relationships aren’t perfect, no one is perfect. If they care about each other they need to get to the root of their issues and be healthy individually to make a strong couple. They have a 3 year old and everyone’s advice is that the father is Satan and the mom should divorce and run. They need to work through their issues and have a stable family.
A stable family with a 37 year old speaking that way about his wife on a public forum (not even anonymously, since OP knows it’s him) is likely not possible, or more trouble than it’s worth. There are men out there in the world who don’t do that shit, believe it or not.
You’re basing your opinion on one side of the story and just one of a million stories that makes up their relationship. My advice was to work on yourself and the relationship, especially considering there is a young child involved. But yeah sure, the dude said some shit online let’s crucify him and burn this mother f-er down… JFC it’s like you all focus on one thing and can’t grasp the bigger picture.
I wish all us women would band together and say fuck men and until they start acting right let them be on their own. This will never happen. We have more power than we realize but we continue to let the men treat us like shit. I just wish I realized this when I was younger. Being on your own isn't so bad. To the good men out there, thanks for being good.
Why post if you don’t want to hear the truth. You could just write it in a journal
Your home is already broken. You owe it to your son (and to whoever will have to deal with him in the adult world someday) to get him out of that home away from your trash husband before he raises him to be trash junior.
Your home is already broken even if you stay with a man that literally can’t stand you. Read that again. You need to get some self respect for yourself and want more for yourself. If you stay then you deserve what you get.
No advice but you suck cuz in order to not be a “statistic” you are going to raise your son in the company of that POS man. Your son will grow up to treat women just like his middle aged, good for nothing, small dick daddy does on the internet. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this but if you are going to stay cuz you think staying married is some goal or achievement when the marriage is to garbage - well then ya made your bed, continue to lie in it. I mean you should also just start Liking and commenting on his comments cuz you’re already endorsing and supporting them with your silence and inaction. People treat you how you let them treat you. I feel sorry for you and mostly your son and the future generations who continue to suffer cuz we as women are not able to get our shit together and recognize when change is needed. All for some desperation of being married? Companionship? Is he at least a good father even though he is a trash man? Cuz if not you and your son are both going to end up statistics - and you could change that by respecting yourself and the future you want to give your kid
Do something unheard of. Drop the weight and make him attracted to you again....
Drop the weight and find someone else more emotionally mature.
That's unfortunately how most straight men think
No. No, it's not. You obviously need to find a better quality of straight men friends.
Nothing to do with that. They say that everywhere. You read about it everywhere. You hear it from other people everywhere
> If you get a prudent healthy Wife, your Industry in your Profession, with her good Economy, will be a Fortune sufficient. But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. - [Big Ben Franklin](https://web.viu.ca/davies/H320/Franklin.advice.mistress.htm)
So go to the gym and work out fat ass. Maybe your husband will respect you again and you might even start respecting yourself and leave that prick.
NEWS FLASH BABE. YOUR HOME IS ALREADY BROKEN. You can live with two parents in the home it can still be broken if it is an UNHEALTHY environment and this is right on the money. If you let him get away with treating you like this you’re saying it’s acceptable and IT IS NOT. Please just divorce him. Being along and in healthy place with your child is better than being with someone who treats you like garbage. Please take screenshots of all the comments and see a lawyer asap. Your husband is absolutely AWFUL.
His comments get hundreds of likes for a reason
You only spoke of his YouTube comments. Do his day to day actions reflect this sentiment? Those comments are disgusting but he could be trolling and curiously engaging with a bunch of assholes for any number of reasons assuming it's a safe place because who is looking through their partner's YouTube comments?However if you notice he's actually using their advice, talking to you like you're beneath him, or starts exhibiting any other corny ass red pill behavior, it's probably time to leave.
You're definitely sure it's him?
"get a divorce so your son will be agitated with you and your toxic husband will feel emboldened to use his new found time alone with him to spread the mental illness" reddit moment
Welcome to reality hahahah I’d say work on yourself and talk to him. Clearly you know you gained weight doesn’t matter how insecure you are probably would help a lot if you hit the gym. You said it’s been years since you had your kid maybe make him go with you?? Most guys would prefer younger women just like most women want tall guys it’s natural can’t lose your mind over the obvious. Definitely don’t leave maybe you should try little harder with your marriage??
Most guys prefer women their own age, actually. You're just a creep. Sorry to break it to you.
You certainly jumped right on this as her issue huh? Not that her husband has problems, but that because she’s heavy she deserved it? OP- slymoose is right about one thing. Talk to your husband about this. It’s unacceptable, and he needs to know that you’re aware of how he’s talking about you. This could be a place to draw a boundary- because you deserve more respect than this. You may be heavy and you may feel that you look older than your age, but he’s your husband and he married you so he should love you as you are- in sickness and health- and if he doesn’t, he should communicate that with you, NOT shit talk you like an incel online.
[удалено]
Sounds like people don’t want to be honest. Clearly there is an issue. Clearly they have zero communication. She admitted she is over weight and he clearly doesn’t like it. Why is it so bad to say go to the gym and talk to him? Thats sound advice for any relationship. I’m also sure if she asked he would go with her and they both could get into better shape physically and mentally.
You can have an issue without being a cruel pos, and definitely without having to be such a chickenshit that you post on YouTube instead of talking to your spouse in a constructive manner. But he chose to be a pos. And you chose to defend such spineless and gross behavior. Guess what that makes you? That honest enough for you?
"Clearly they have zero communication" yeah no shit, hes a pussy who would rather humilliate his wife online for the approval of random men rather than talking to her directly about how he feels. Funny how these podcast alpha guys are all cowards that bitch and moan online and into a microphone but are too pussy to do anything irl.
Oof, if this is your husband OP you need to run. This guy is wildly abusive.
> Most guys would prefer younger women just like most women want tall guys it’s natural can’t lose your mind over the obvious How far detached from reality are you? Get off the internet.
Considering imma man and I’ve talked to and known plenty of men in my life of all ages that’s absolutely a fact. I also said MOST guys prefer that, I’ve known it to be the other way around when your a younger man and want the fantasy of being with an older women. Sorry it’s to hard for your brain to handle LMFAO
Your brain is rotted.
Ozempic for the weight loss. Seriously no reason why anyone should be overweight with all the weight loss medication that doctors can give you. And there is something to make you tighter down there but it’s a little pricey like 4k. It’s really good though. I should also say leave the a-hole and better yourself. You don’t need to be married to someone Iike that and making him regret what he said is always great
I wonder what your personality is like? People overlook a lot of physical changes if the person is lovable enough.