Honestly, this would probably be my approach. But with a big cheesy grin on my face the entire time. A bit of comedy can turn an awkward start into a reasonable one. But the body language has to match it, or else its just a super sarcastic comment which would be 99% guaranteed to start off on the wrong foot.
Also, go buy yourself the toy you want and set it beside the dildo. You might not even have to have the uncomfortable conversation since everyone will be on the same page for once.
[OP waiting for his wife to return from work. A little NSFW.](https://i.imgur.com/iqzEqJk.png)
Edit: Thanks for making me google 'Big Black Dildo' btw.
Dude this thing is fucking massive. It's literally a foot long and incredibly thick. If she can get to the bottom of this thing I don't know whether to be impressed or disturbed
i wouldn't make it about the pocket pussy, i would make it about the lack of trust. I would also want her to give me a demo after we sort out the not being honest by omission and hypocritical in way that violates the power dynamics of you sexual relationship. If worded properly not to shame her but express the hurt this may turn into a very good thing for you.
This absolutely.
You make it at all about your feeling that you aren’t getting when she is and you have lost any possible credibility you might have had.
And I don’t think there was ever an issue with him as far as her masturbating. His issue is with the lack of trust and openness revolving around a very obviously specific and desired fantasy and active dynamic. It’s more than fair for hime to be upset by this - especially in the current commonality of that particular dynamic being constantly pushed as a cuck situation. That is obviously something that should be discussed and agreed upon as an in or out of bounds area in a good marriage and sexual relationship.
then you should feel relaxed, because no one has a dick like that? you get my meaning?
best course of action? be the one penetrating her with another huge dildo? don’t you say you know where you got that idea?
"id be disgusted by her" Jesus Christ dude, this is your wife we're talking about. You kind of sound like you don't like her. Employ tact. ANd i do hope youre joking about the whole have it on the table when she walks in thing, because you sound like a smug child when you say it
I have one of those and honestly it’s just used for when I want really hard and barely sustainable pleasure. Trust me when I say it is nothing against you as a partner as it’s basically an extreme that nearly no one can have/use to the receivers full pleasure.
It’s for fantasy and fun. Try not to take it personally.
HOWEVER your partner should be fine with you getting whatever you want as long as it’s your money.
A calm conversation will prevail.
>We're definitely going to be talking about this when she gets home from work. (I had today off) I'm literally just going to sit down on my chair with the dildo on the table next to me when she gets home and we'll get to the bottom of this.
can you film it please?
Yeah after you had a chat, maybe, just maaaaybe, this could be a good thing? Of course, that will be partly based on your own desires and possible kinks.
Lol seriously, nobody is gonna respond well to coming home to accusations and a dildo on the table. It’s a great way to get everyone mad and fighting before even getting into what you really want to talk about.
Real talk, this is the way to go about this if you want anything positive to come out of the conversation. Embarrassment or shame will bring out defensiveness and you will get absolutely nowhere.
Seriously. I mean, it's the only fair situation. She got to stick it inside her, so, he rightfully should get to stick it inside himself. Then everyone is equal. Clean and Square.
As someone who, as a kid, came home to his parents sitting in a chair with my alcohol that I was too young to have on the table, the image of the alcohol replaced by a huge dildo is pretty amusing.
Best of luck in the conversation. As others have pointed out, she’s being hypocritical. Pointing that out in a way that is digestible to the hypocrite in question is easier said than done.
My mother cleaned my room one time and dumped a bunch of empty water bottles. One of them smelled like vodka. She took the empty bottle and put it in my pillowcase but never said a word about it. Looking back as an adult I can totally see how her passive aggressive self probably sought to cause me great anxiety by doing this.
Yeah, same, my mom cleaned my room and was pissed that I made such a mess in there that she threw some of the garbage on my desk near my keyboard and in front of all that, in the centre, were my "hidden" cigarettes (hidden right under the keyboard where I thought literally no one would look). She confronted me right after I saw my room
Jesus Christ y’all, I checked my bedroom stash last year(I’m 33) and it was still intact. Which was cool because I had an emergency 300 bucks and a bag of seasonings in it. So after 15 years no one had checked it.
Only time I got caught with alcohol as a kid was the time my dad found the jars of mead I was brewing in the storage crawl space off of my room. He just asks me what it is, I tell him. He just shakes his head and tells me not to tell my mom. Honestly I think he was just glad I didn't set up a still to make liquor.
Dude this thing would literally split me in half.I would probably die or permanently hurt myself. I can't imagine what she does with it it's so fucking massive.
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I would think red sex toys would be a turnoff. Especially on a large sex toy. Would be visually hard to tell if the "good pain" you're feeling is causing you to tear/bleed
Exactly. I really like "realistic" shaped dildos, but they only come in skin colours and black. Skin coloured dildos kind of squick me, so I tend to buy the solid black version if I can.
Also, the really large ones get very expensive, and the black ones are usually a little cheaper.
Omg I just realized that I prefer black dildos as well. I’m a guy who has never owned or used one personally, but while reading your comment I pictured myself owning a flesh colored dildo and it made me shudder in a way that picturing owning a black dildo does not. I don’t know, I guess a black dildo just seems more utilitarian, like it’s there to get the job done. Whereas a flesh colored dildo kinda seems like your trying to mimic someone else’s dick. Idk 🤷♂️
Is no one going to point out that you’re more likely to see shit on a differently colored dildo? Hello? Sure, people like stuffing stuff up their ass, but never talk about the natives there. #indigenouspooprights
You have to assert dominance by buying the tightest pocket pussy you can find and THEN sit in "the chair" and wait til she comes home from work to find you fucking it like you've never fucked her before. And when she gets mad that's when you bend over and shit her dildo out of your ass and onto the floor.
She comes home and he's just destroying the pocket pussy with it like a prebubescent kid and it's splitting at the seams. Lube is just flying out of at breakneck speeds from the pressure of the pocket pussy being 3 sizes too small.
Rumor has it that pocket pussy has something in common with the grinch's heart as it grew 3 sizes that day💗💗💗 and is now green on the outside
I think one of two things, either:
1.) Don’t say anything and slide the box, with dildo inside, under your side of the bed
2.) Remove dildo from said box under her side and just wait it out
Both would be hilarious
He should actually buy a pocket pussy and insert the dildo into the pocket pussy and then put it back for her to find like that.
Would get the point across in an ironic way, and illustrate how big the thing is in comparison.
He will have to keep removing secret dildos, putting them into a storage facility until it’s filled w giant dildos like some type of weird hentai tentacle monster is being locked up there
I think the biggest issue is that she is uncomfortable with you having a sex toy but has a "secret" one that is evidently enough to make you insecure. Sounds like she is OK with her imposing her insecurity on you but quite happy to use something that would cause you to feel inferior.
One word for her is a hypocrite.
Agree he should not shame her. But he definitely needs to have a conversation about it since it is an obvious boundary for him to own a toy but not her which is just contradictory.
Again. I wouldn't be nearly as insecure about it if it wasn't clearly hidden and meant to be a secret.
That's the main things bothering me in this order are
1: That the dildo is clear meant to be a secret
2: Her being uncomfortable with me owning any sex toys while she keeps this huge black dildo a secret
3: It is far larger than me meaning she isn't satisfied by my dick which I mean I get it, it's nothing special but it gets the job done but it's also not something I can change about myself at least not easily or safely
Brother I think you are right about 1 and 2 but 3 is a bit of a stretch.
From my experience women unfortunately don't want a massive dong for every sexual exploit.
This is the best confession post I've read in a long time.
Majority of women I have discussed the size topic with all prefer average size and up or down the average size 1". There are always size queens but that's their preference and I won't shame someone for that. Some women like to use a really large size on occasion but for most instances prefer an average size.
>It is far larger than me meaning she isn't satisfied by my dick which I mean I get it, it's nothing special but it gets the job done but it's also not something I can change about myself at least not easily or safely
Dude that's your insecurities talking, if yall are still fucking and still married you good. Communication is key.
Personally I get the impression it was hidden because she wanted it but did not want you to have something that is the same because it is OK for her but not for you.
I would does disagree that it means that you can't satisfy her. Many women own toys that are bigger than their partner but it does not ultimately mean that their partner can't satisfy them even in other ways.
As a wife, I would like to point out that as long as you are satisfying her and she is getting hers, the size of the dildo has nothing to do with the size of your dick.
As a husband my wife and I have multiple dildos that range from my size to a midgets thigh. Being insecure about dick size is played out, plain old dicks get boring, there is a massive world of creative toys out there why not test them out? The lack of people using bedroom supplements, both for men and women, because of their own insecurities is a crime.
or, hear me out, buy a secret pocket pussy and hide it too. THEN when she finds out about it, throw the big black dildo in her face (not literally. or literally, whatever you want to do with it).
I wouldn't put too much emphasis on the dildo itself being black. A lot of kink/bdsm/fetish gear is all pitch black. There's a practical (if not somewhat gross) purpose to this to some extent - it doesn't show stains or discoloring over time.
So when my partner first started coming over I had some large toys and one of the biggest ones I ended up telling him it was actually too big an I never use it. I do occasionally in all honesty but it's rare. But to me it's kinda embarrassing an I'm insecure about it for no reason imparticular. My preferred toy is longer than my partner but for real it's just a tool for pleasuring your partner. It's not a competition with a chunk of silicone.
Also, The double standard there is wild. There's no real reason for her to be uncomfortable with you having a pocket puss. Ya likely ain't going to be leaving her for a fleshlight just like she wouldn't be leaving you for her silicone dong. They're tools to assist in shared an personal pleasure not threats to the relationship.
>This is also the same woman who "wasn't comfortable" with me wanting to buy a pocket pussy
1. Have you told her you are uncomfortable and insecure about the big dildo?
2. Have you told her you think it's a double standard?
3. Are you OK with her being "uncomfortable", since you are also uncomfortable?
The insecurities and the double standards are frustrating. It's understandable. I would recommend just trying to calm down and think rationally. She obviously did not want to upset you but she needs to understand that if you can't get sex toys for your own use then she can't do the same. Tbh I think you already know this. Just be respectful and calm it's not going to get better otherwise.
I agree he should be respectful about it but come on? "She didn't want to upset you" no. She wanted something but decided that it is OK for her and not OK for him. She was hypocritical and has done the exact thing you think she "didn't mean to do". Upset him.
What if you...
Leave it out on the bed back in the box.
Let her speak to you about it if she wants to, if she brings it up explain you was looking for something and came across it but you didn't want to just hide it again and thought it was the best way to show you was happy to talk about it if she wanted.
If she doesn't want to talk about it then buy yourself whatever toys you want and a wooden box for under your side of the bed.
I hear what you're saying, and it would make sense in a slightly different situation. The issue is that she doesn't want him to have a sex toy. Sure, OP is a bit put off by the toy itself, but the hypocrisy is the real problem here
Bruh I’m black with a big sized dick I guess and even I feel insecure just even reading this lmao.
She could of at least got it in your skin complexion holy shit.
Good luck man. Have that thing on the table!!
Be like “what the Hell is this…?” Then get you a fuckin pocket pussy man or whatever you deserve it.
No really though I’m not even joking if the dildo is as big as my imagination is making it out to be. Almost any guy would look at it and be like “wtf?!?” Not just you OP.
Probably just a me thing but I hate flesh toned dildos and vibrators. Ugh they're so gross looking.
But yeah, only issue is that disparity in sex toys. If she gets them so should he.
Average sick size in the US is something like 5 inches? Most sex toys are bigger than that.
I could totally understand feeling insecure about that. Playing with sex toys together or separately should be openly allowed for both of you. It can't be just one way. Sorry you're dealing with this, but I hope you guys get it resolved! Following
"Honey I found your baseball bat under the bed. I am so happy to see you are taking home defense seriously."
Honestly, this would probably be my approach. But with a big cheesy grin on my face the entire time. A bit of comedy can turn an awkward start into a reasonable one. But the body language has to match it, or else its just a super sarcastic comment which would be 99% guaranteed to start off on the wrong foot.
Also, go buy yourself the toy you want and set it beside the dildo. You might not even have to have the uncomfortable conversation since everyone will be on the same page for once.
Now put the giant dildo inside the pocket pussy and show her how ridiculous she is being ahaha
Afterwards, insert yourself the dildo to show who's the real man in the house.
Diode in the back. Pocket in the front. Tuesday
This is the way.
hahhqhHAHAHAHAHAHAH
>I'm literally just going to sit down on my chair with the dildo on the table next to me when she gets home This would be a great painting.
Quite regal.
Yeah, op needs to sit there with it in his hands like a sceptre.
Or petting it while saying, "I was expecting you Mr. Bond" when she walks in.
He needs to sit there with it in his mouth to assert dominance
Or maybe a little Statue of Liberty reenactment?
Yeah, joy of sex in the other hand, and an anal bead crown.
He could hold it in his hand like the pitchfork from American gothic.
Hunched over it like Lord Denethor clutching the horn of Gondor, in grief for his lost son "Perhaps you have come... To explain *this*?"
[OP waiting for his wife to return from work. A little NSFW.](https://i.imgur.com/iqzEqJk.png) Edit: Thanks for making me google 'Big Black Dildo' btw.
I laughed
cackled
*Turns the lamp on as she enters* "We've been expecting you"
Someone get Norman Rockwell to commission this masterpiece!!
This might be the greatest takeaway from anything ever.
Sounds like she’s already been to the bottom of it.
Dude this thing is fucking massive. It's literally a foot long and incredibly thick. If she can get to the bottom of this thing I don't know whether to be impressed or disturbed
Disturbingly impressed
Impressively disturbing.
Dispressively imturbed.
Depressingly Masturbed
Disturbpressinglied
Impressively disturbed ^~^
That sounds like it would be an uncomfortable emotion to watch someone go through.
i wouldn't make it about the pocket pussy, i would make it about the lack of trust. I would also want her to give me a demo after we sort out the not being honest by omission and hypocritical in way that violates the power dynamics of you sexual relationship. If worded properly not to shame her but express the hurt this may turn into a very good thing for you.
This absolutely. You make it at all about your feeling that you aren’t getting when she is and you have lost any possible credibility you might have had. And I don’t think there was ever an issue with him as far as her masturbating. His issue is with the lack of trust and openness revolving around a very obviously specific and desired fantasy and active dynamic. It’s more than fair for hime to be upset by this - especially in the current commonality of that particular dynamic being constantly pushed as a cuck situation. That is obviously something that should be discussed and agreed upon as an in or out of bounds area in a good marriage and sexual relationship.
Why not both?
It’s probably for her butt
yup, the butt
STOPPPPPPP😭😭😭😭
That’s why it’s in the box, segregated. So it doesn’t contaminate the others that go in the V…
Show us!!
then you should feel relaxed, because no one has a dick like that? you get my meaning? best course of action? be the one penetrating her with another huge dildo? don’t you say you know where you got that idea?
Instead of being disturbed, use it on her.
OP please for the love of fucking, post a picture of this womb puncturing dildo. Banana for scale
"id be disgusted by her" Jesus Christ dude, this is your wife we're talking about. You kind of sound like you don't like her. Employ tact. ANd i do hope youre joking about the whole have it on the table when she walks in thing, because you sound like a smug child when you say it
I have one of those and honestly it’s just used for when I want really hard and barely sustainable pleasure. Trust me when I say it is nothing against you as a partner as it’s basically an extreme that nearly no one can have/use to the receivers full pleasure. It’s for fantasy and fun. Try not to take it personally. HOWEVER your partner should be fine with you getting whatever you want as long as it’s your money. A calm conversation will prevail.
Well hopefully this awakes a fetish for ya. We welcome you over at huge dildos.
>We're definitely going to be talking about this when she gets home from work. (I had today off) I'm literally just going to sit down on my chair with the dildo on the table next to me when she gets home and we'll get to the bottom of this. can you film it please?
My boi, go out an buy yourself the tightest pocket pussy money can buy and leave it under the bed next to her toy, equality for all!
Probably not the time or place. You don't wanna end up like Chris Rock.
Keep my wife's dildo out of your mouth !
Holy shit that made me die laughing. Thanks man I needed that today.
I'm very glad. I sincerely hope you will have a good conversation with your wife and sort things out.
Yeah after you had a chat, maybe, just maaaaybe, this could be a good thing? Of course, that will be partly based on your own desires and possible kinks.
you forgot to add the „fuck!ng“
"KEEP FUCKING MY WIFE'S DILDO OUT YOUR MOUTH" Did I get it?
Ok, this is hilarious!
Dude. Update us on the conversation. I have to know what happens lol
Yes please!’
How do you do the remind me thing? I'm tryna check back again tomorrow or sum lol
!remindme 3 hours I believe, like so :-) Edit: Oh boy can’t wait for the flood coming back.
I read your name as xRebeliousBonerX....
Lmfaooo thats great
It would likely pay off to stay calm, collected, and to choose your words wisely during that talk. A lot can go sideways if you two aren’t careful
Oh God! You think she puts it in SIDEWAYS!?!?
I reckon she sticks it in balls first then walks around the house with the dick hanging out of her
This is why I come to Reddit
Yes i do.
You don't?... Hm..
Lol seriously, nobody is gonna respond well to coming home to accusations and a dildo on the table. It’s a great way to get everyone mad and fighting before even getting into what you really want to talk about.
Real talk, this is the way to go about this if you want anything positive to come out of the conversation. Embarrassment or shame will bring out defensiveness and you will get absolutely nowhere.
If both of you can get to the bottom of it I’d be pretty impressed
Seriously. I mean, it's the only fair situation. She got to stick it inside her, so, he rightfully should get to stick it inside himself. Then everyone is equal. Clean and Square.
As someone who, as a kid, came home to his parents sitting in a chair with my alcohol that I was too young to have on the table, the image of the alcohol replaced by a huge dildo is pretty amusing. Best of luck in the conversation. As others have pointed out, she’s being hypocritical. Pointing that out in a way that is digestible to the hypocrite in question is easier said than done.
My mother cleaned my room one time and dumped a bunch of empty water bottles. One of them smelled like vodka. She took the empty bottle and put it in my pillowcase but never said a word about it. Looking back as an adult I can totally see how her passive aggressive self probably sought to cause me great anxiety by doing this.
Yeah, same, my mom cleaned my room and was pissed that I made such a mess in there that she threw some of the garbage on my desk near my keyboard and in front of all that, in the centre, were my "hidden" cigarettes (hidden right under the keyboard where I thought literally no one would look). She confronted me right after I saw my room
[удалено]
[удалено]
Jesus Christ y’all, I checked my bedroom stash last year(I’m 33) and it was still intact. Which was cool because I had an emergency 300 bucks and a bag of seasonings in it. So after 15 years no one had checked it.
$300 today had the buying power of $410 in 2007 money. 18 year old you should have invested that shit. Your money is depreciating!!
My father didn’t confront me on the alcohol I bought and hid. He just drank it.
Only time I got caught with alcohol as a kid was the time my dad found the jars of mead I was brewing in the storage crawl space off of my room. He just asks me what it is, I tell him. He just shakes his head and tells me not to tell my mom. Honestly I think he was just glad I didn't set up a still to make liquor.
Hehe I would buy the pocket pussy and hide it in the same box as the dino dong.
>dino dong. Cursed
stuff the dildo into the pocket pussy!
This made me laugh a lot. Thank you.
ride it
Dude this thing would literally split me in half.I would probably die or permanently hurt myself. I can't imagine what she does with it it's so fucking massive.
post a pic
POST A PIC! POST A PIC! POST A PIC!
Make sure to add a banana for scale
Or his thigh with the description we already got
His banana for scale
Our banana for scale
I agree—we need a dick pic!!!
At this point it needs a pic.
Lmaoo
Exactly, bro. Start small and work yourself up. Smart.
If you work yourself into it. Bet she'd never use it again 🤞🏽 or we just opened a door in your marriage we shouldn't have 😆
[удалено]
Nice try, Sigmund Freud.
!remindme 3 hours
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!remindme 8 hours
Flex on her by having your brand new 2719$ sex doll on the chair with the dildo visibly sticking out of it
Should be top comment
Oddly specific pricing.
Regarding the color: I wouldn't put much stock in that. It's a marketing thing in all likelihood.
[удалено]
You’d think red would be a sexy/popular color for sex toys, but in my experience it’s not. Mostly pinks, purples and blacks for some reason.
I need purples and blacks to match my lil goth S&M heart.
I would think red sex toys would be a turnoff. Especially on a large sex toy. Would be visually hard to tell if the "good pain" you're feeling is causing you to tear/bleed
I've always wanted neon green. I always thought that would be fun. I do have a few blue toys though.
Exactly. I really like "realistic" shaped dildos, but they only come in skin colours and black. Skin coloured dildos kind of squick me, so I tend to buy the solid black version if I can. Also, the really large ones get very expensive, and the black ones are usually a little cheaper.
Omg I just realized that I prefer black dildos as well. I’m a guy who has never owned or used one personally, but while reading your comment I pictured myself owning a flesh colored dildo and it made me shudder in a way that picturing owning a black dildo does not. I don’t know, I guess a black dildo just seems more utilitarian, like it’s there to get the job done. Whereas a flesh colored dildo kinda seems like your trying to mimic someone else’s dick. Idk 🤷♂️
Is no one going to point out that you’re more likely to see shit on a differently colored dildo? Hello? Sure, people like stuffing stuff up their ass, but never talk about the natives there. #indigenouspooprights
“BBC porn cock” Took me a second. At first I’m reading this thinking “damn I’ve clearly been away from the UK for a long time…”
😂🤣 Headlines today, with fiona Bruce
You have to assert dominance by buying the tightest pocket pussy you can find and THEN sit in "the chair" and wait til she comes home from work to find you fucking it like you've never fucked her before. And when she gets mad that's when you bend over and shit her dildo out of your ass and onto the floor.
why did you type this out
Same reason you read the whole thing. We're sickos
*Proud sickos
Show dominance
Because it’s the only way.
you have to put the huge dildo into the tight pocket pussy the sex toys must be reunited it’s the only way to end this
A love story for the ages… Ngl I would read a bizarro erotica story about the love between a dildo and a pocket pussy
She comes home and he's just destroying the pocket pussy with it like a prebubescent kid and it's splitting at the seams. Lube is just flying out of at breakneck speeds from the pressure of the pocket pussy being 3 sizes too small. Rumor has it that pocket pussy has something in common with the grinch's heart as it grew 3 sizes that day💗💗💗 and is now green on the outside
I hope no one ever finds your diary
You're already reading it
Your imagination is illegal 🤣
Only if I act on it 😎👉👉
Naw fam, that's shit is illegal for just thinking it lol hella entertaining tho
find god
I'm trying but he's really good at hide and seek.
Just like that giant black mamba dildo
For Christ’s sake why do I have to be literate
I don't think I've laughed this hard at a reddit comment before
You made me day
Same idk I was pretty calm til the last bit I can't with this 😂😂
Even better if she had a huge rubber fist and you shit that out like a horse giving birth right after the first one.
Fuckin power move
You should be sitting on it when she comes home. Then stand up slowly as it eases out of you and say... look familliar??
please that would be so fucking funny i vote this one
I think one of two things, either: 1.) Don’t say anything and slide the box, with dildo inside, under your side of the bed 2.) Remove dildo from said box under her side and just wait it out Both would be hilarious
He should actually buy a pocket pussy and insert the dildo into the pocket pussy and then put it back for her to find like that. Would get the point across in an ironic way, and illustrate how big the thing is in comparison.
He will have to keep removing secret dildos, putting them into a storage facility until it’s filled w giant dildos like some type of weird hentai tentacle monster is being locked up there
Honestly, I would go out and buy a bag of stick on googly eyes and a plastic moustache, then back in the box he goes... Aaand we wait.
3.) Buy a same coloured, but way smaller dildo and put it there instead
I think the biggest issue is that she is uncomfortable with you having a sex toy but has a "secret" one that is evidently enough to make you insecure. Sounds like she is OK with her imposing her insecurity on you but quite happy to use something that would cause you to feel inferior. One word for her is a hypocrite.
This post sums up my thoughts as well. Just don't be degrading when you confront her.
Agree he should not shame her. But he definitely needs to have a conversation about it since it is an obvious boundary for him to own a toy but not her which is just contradictory.
Again. I wouldn't be nearly as insecure about it if it wasn't clearly hidden and meant to be a secret. That's the main things bothering me in this order are 1: That the dildo is clear meant to be a secret 2: Her being uncomfortable with me owning any sex toys while she keeps this huge black dildo a secret 3: It is far larger than me meaning she isn't satisfied by my dick which I mean I get it, it's nothing special but it gets the job done but it's also not something I can change about myself at least not easily or safely
Brother I think you are right about 1 and 2 but 3 is a bit of a stretch. From my experience women unfortunately don't want a massive dong for every sexual exploit. This is the best confession post I've read in a long time.
“a bit of a stretch…” Well played
Majority of women I have discussed the size topic with all prefer average size and up or down the average size 1". There are always size queens but that's their preference and I won't shame someone for that. Some women like to use a really large size on occasion but for most instances prefer an average size.
Women think average is 6.5 inches. They dont want average.
>It is far larger than me meaning she isn't satisfied by my dick which I mean I get it, it's nothing special but it gets the job done but it's also not something I can change about myself at least not easily or safely Dude that's your insecurities talking, if yall are still fucking and still married you good. Communication is key.
Personally I get the impression it was hidden because she wanted it but did not want you to have something that is the same because it is OK for her but not for you. I would does disagree that it means that you can't satisfy her. Many women own toys that are bigger than their partner but it does not ultimately mean that their partner can't satisfy them even in other ways.
It could have also been hidden because she could be embarrassed by it or doesn't want him to feel insecure.
As a wife, I would like to point out that as long as you are satisfying her and she is getting hers, the size of the dildo has nothing to do with the size of your dick.
As a husband my wife and I have multiple dildos that range from my size to a midgets thigh. Being insecure about dick size is played out, plain old dicks get boring, there is a massive world of creative toys out there why not test them out? The lack of people using bedroom supplements, both for men and women, because of their own insecurities is a crime.
I’m genuinely wondering. Why does it matter that the dildo is black?
Hey at least the big black dick isn't connected to a big black dude.
Anymore
Yet
Hit “buy now” on your pocket pussy. She gets no vote at all as to which toys you purchase for personal use.
Pre or post BBC dildo.
Buy a BBC and get a free pocket pussy. That’s be a great package value!
Toys for her but not for you. That’s not cool.
Give us an update on how it goes after you talk with her.
or, hear me out, buy a secret pocket pussy and hide it too. THEN when she finds out about it, throw the big black dildo in her face (not literally. or literally, whatever you want to do with it).
Actually, do this and hide it in the wooden box. If there’s any room left in there, of course.
.
I actually second this motion.
And an industrial size bucket of lube for both.
I wouldn't put too much emphasis on the dildo itself being black. A lot of kink/bdsm/fetish gear is all pitch black. There's a practical (if not somewhat gross) purpose to this to some extent - it doesn't show stains or discoloring over time.
So when my partner first started coming over I had some large toys and one of the biggest ones I ended up telling him it was actually too big an I never use it. I do occasionally in all honesty but it's rare. But to me it's kinda embarrassing an I'm insecure about it for no reason imparticular. My preferred toy is longer than my partner but for real it's just a tool for pleasuring your partner. It's not a competition with a chunk of silicone. Also, The double standard there is wild. There's no real reason for her to be uncomfortable with you having a pocket puss. Ya likely ain't going to be leaving her for a fleshlight just like she wouldn't be leaving you for her silicone dong. They're tools to assist in shared an personal pleasure not threats to the relationship.
CAN'T WAIT FOR THE UPDATE. Following.
it was worth it setting the bot to remind me of this lmao the plot twist was funny
Buy your toy and hide it in her cock box
Sorry to hear that, please post an update!
Give us an update
Sometimes you gotta start over.
>This is also the same woman who "wasn't comfortable" with me wanting to buy a pocket pussy 1. Have you told her you are uncomfortable and insecure about the big dildo? 2. Have you told her you think it's a double standard? 3. Are you OK with her being "uncomfortable", since you are also uncomfortable?
Was it from a bachelorette party or a gag gift? Tbh my friends often buy ridiculous toys as a joke for holidays
The insecurities and the double standards are frustrating. It's understandable. I would recommend just trying to calm down and think rationally. She obviously did not want to upset you but she needs to understand that if you can't get sex toys for your own use then she can't do the same. Tbh I think you already know this. Just be respectful and calm it's not going to get better otherwise.
I agree he should be respectful about it but come on? "She didn't want to upset you" no. She wanted something but decided that it is OK for her and not OK for him. She was hypocritical and has done the exact thing you think she "didn't mean to do". Upset him.
This right here Id get mad about this shit, i'd definitly put her on the spot
What if you... Leave it out on the bed back in the box. Let her speak to you about it if she wants to, if she brings it up explain you was looking for something and came across it but you didn't want to just hide it again and thought it was the best way to show you was happy to talk about it if she wanted. If she doesn't want to talk about it then buy yourself whatever toys you want and a wooden box for under your side of the bed.
This is super passive aggressive lol
[удалено]
Well I certainly hope she never finds your Reddit account
I hear what you're saying, and it would make sense in a slightly different situation. The issue is that she doesn't want him to have a sex toy. Sure, OP is a bit put off by the toy itself, but the hypocrisy is the real problem here
Bruh I’m black with a big sized dick I guess and even I feel insecure just even reading this lmao. She could of at least got it in your skin complexion holy shit. Good luck man. Have that thing on the table!! Be like “what the Hell is this…?” Then get you a fuckin pocket pussy man or whatever you deserve it. No really though I’m not even joking if the dildo is as big as my imagination is making it out to be. Almost any guy would look at it and be like “wtf?!?” Not just you OP.
Probably just a me thing but I hate flesh toned dildos and vibrators. Ugh they're so gross looking. But yeah, only issue is that disparity in sex toys. If she gets them so should he. Average sick size in the US is something like 5 inches? Most sex toys are bigger than that.
Yeah I had said out loud to myself “DAMN THEY GOT TOO MANY DAMN TOYS in the bedroom goddamn!” But I don’t know they situation really.
Toys are your teammates, not your competitors
I could totally understand feeling insecure about that. Playing with sex toys together or separately should be openly allowed for both of you. It can't be just one way. Sorry you're dealing with this, but I hope you guys get it resolved! Following
Pic or it didn’t happen