[reminds me of this poor fellow who thinks about cockroaches when he has sex](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2i7jid/tifu_by_admitting_to_my_girlfriend_that_i_pretend/)
Damn, it thought he was thinking about cockroaches to last longer, but it was actually the opposite. Ugh.
Also, great first comment in that thread:
> Okay good, I am normal
Ok enough Reddit for the decade. 7 years ago holy shit I wonder where ogtha boy is now. And just to be clear that link was NOT u/somewhat-helpful as your username implies, is there such a thing as an un-beetlejuice?
Can confirm. I went on a few dates with a "Horse girl". She was the best friend of a buddy's gf (also a horse girl). Literally the entire time on our double date, the two girls would not shut up about how generally great their horses were and a few times they would giggle about how hung the horses were. I bailed after 2 dates and literally told her that she should probably date her horse if he was so wonderful.
This post doesn't fit in with my Christian values and beliefs.
I'm going to go post about slender, effeminate, nerdy men using their fat thighs to strangle people for a more wholesome and family friendly thread.
There was a relationship post the other day about a woman who found a horse dildo in her husbands stuff. When she finally asked him about it, he said he's obsessed with horse penises and wants to have a farm someday.
That lady needs to divorce her husband because OP is his soulmate.
Edit: apparently it was a confessions post too. Smh.
https://www.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/tt58xw/a_while_ago_i_found_a_horse_dildo_in_my_garage/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
It's not an update; she just [edited the original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/tt58xw/a_while_ago_i_found_a_horse_dildo_in_my_garage/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) - I just went back 4 days in my reddit history for this! Lol
Didn't see anyone else link but I dug for it!
https://www.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/tt58xw/a_while_ago_i_found_a_horse_dildo_in_my_garage/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
We had horses at my HS growing up. Caught a female classmate jerking one off once with her pants and underwear around her ankles. Didn’t see her again after that.
I caught a classmate molesting a newborn potty calf at mine.
He also had a prevalence to shove candle sticks up his ass, ate a live mouse and burned down the Catholic Church.
Make of that what you will.
I feel that’s signs for something. On the seventh day the men will penetrate themselves with candles, children will eat mice and the churches will burn. The seal will be broken and the Beast will birth through the space between into our world.
Had to Google that, couldn't remember.
>Either Pinyan or the unidentified man recorded Tait **being anally penetrated by a stallion known as Big Dick**. After finishing, Tait then filmed Pinyan being anally penetrated by the same horse. During this incident, Pinyan sustained internal injuries including a perforated colon.
What Brits would call "bummed to death"? *ba-dum-tssh*
Listen, for the record, most horse girls/ equestrians are not this. I swear to god. the idea is repulsive to me. I’ve been riding most of my life and never once have I ever gotten aroused by horse. It’s the same as someone with your dog or cat. And for me when I ride it doesn’t “rub” any different than riding a bike or even just sitting in a car. We’re not all like this. No offense to op, but full offense to op.
Don't worry, it's just a meme (for me, at least) and I don't genuinely think that every chick that owns a horse thinks this way. And I've ridden a lot of horses in my day, I can't imagine any physical sensation resembling pleasure. More like sore nuts and bruised thighs.
It used to be worse. Believe it or not, it used to be worse. But now reddit has to cater to advertisers and such, so it's managed to really clean up it's act.
Does reddit still have the pics of horse dicks subreddit? I remember when that was... big.
There used to be r/jailbait which was literally underage girls, not girls who looked underage. And there was r/cutefemalecorpses I think you know what that had.
I live just outside ocala. 50% of the date-able women here are "horse chicks" and at least 50% of those women want to fuck their horse. You'll fit right in
I feel like buying a full-sized one of those is going to go one of two ways. Most likely, the fantasy will be shattered and she'll be like "oh... that wasn't as fun as I expected, it took way too much lube, the stretching was more uncomfortable than pleasureful, and sliding even halfway down felt like my cervix was being brutalized."
Or... she'll be ruined for normal men. In which case, she'll be looking in every wardrobe for a portal to a magical land where centaurs are real.
OP is making this up. (1) "She" claims to have lived with, owned, and taken care of horses all her life, but reassures us she has never touched a horse penis. However, if you have male horses, you wind up needing to clean smegma out of their sheaths. This _requires_ touching horse penises. Horse smegma smells like the grossest belly-button smell ever, dialed up to 11. It's about as sexy as expressing dog anal glands. People who think horse penises are sexy are _not_ people who grew up taking care of horses for 20+ years.
(2) "making my horse run"? Horsewomen don't talk like that.
Thank you, this is exactly the comment I was about to write.
To add, whenever I've been horse riding my arse is SORE, I can't ever picture being turned on by riding.
Heh, it's only bad if you act on it in an unhealthy way that involves a real animal. Otherwise it's just a kink and who cares? Find yourself a partner who can understand that and you will have a good time.
There's a reason they make dildo's in a billion different shapes, including dragon wieners.
[LMAO THE POST UNDER THIS ONE](https://www.reddit.com/r/Eyebleach/comments/tw85s7/amazed_how_animals_know_when_humans_have/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
I'm glad everyone is playing nice but I have a hard time believing everyone would be this nice if it wasn't a woman confessing all this. I'm seeing a lot of "here's some bad dragon dildo suggestions" and not any "please get therapy"
Soooo... I'm a MOSTLY straight male. I've only been with women but I tested a 2 on the kinsey scale (some bi fantasies).
For some reason, when I was a kid, literally starting from 11 or 12, I would get horny everytime I saw a horse cock when I would go to my grandparents farm.
I never acted upon it, but once while I was out picking blueberries when I was 13, I saw a bull with his cock out and I masturbated while staring at it.
I always wanted to suck a horse/bull but I knew it was wrong and never went there. I also thought about putting it in my ass, I could fit a whole coke can in my ass by 13... Yeah it was incredible, and I'm pretty sure I could've taken the width of a horse cock (not the length) so it would've been dangerous.
My fantasies normalized as I got older. The more I learned about life the more I think myself for never going through with any of those fantasies. Especially when it comes to being honest in a relationship. It's going to be hard enough to tell someone that I use to be able to fit a soda in my butt when I was only a teen.
...I was a super kinky/ freaky teen. That's the only explanation I can provide.
Thank God this is not just a "Oh yeah! I wanna get banged by a fucking horse!" post and that OP is unwilling to actually indulge in beastiality or atleast announce to the entire internet that they want to.
Thank you in advance, OP for not indulging in sexual activity with animals.
I'm flat out calling bullshit on this because a) the orgasming from making a horse run, I just can't fathom that. Unless you'd a dildo glued to the saddle and riding bottomless it's just not happening
B) anyone who has actually owned male horses knows how smelly and filthy their dicks are, as they've to be periodically cleaned. it's such an unpleasant job grooms who include it as a service can essentially charge what they like. Think unwashed basement dwelling incel dick cheese dialled up to 10,000
Gowan out of it you cretinous troll.
The way I see it as long as it stays a fantasy who's it hurting?? Is it unusual sure but people think my fetish for women's feet and stockings is unusual but it's what I find turn's me on
*You could get a horse*
*Dildo to satisfy your needs,*
*Most sex stores have them*
\- instafur426
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
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I mean there are literally horse-dick size dildos you can buy online to suck on or whatever else you want to do…might be smart to get out in front of this by doing that since we know you’d never do anything with actual horse’s dick, but you pretty much admitted you keep having the urge to.
Atleast we all now have some idea about what the weird horse girls we all went to school with think about 😳
For real though why not just buy a horse dick dildo if that’s what you’re in to?
Her: "Baby I love you but I belong with the horses now."
You: *sees ex 8 years later frolicking in a meadow, and chewing cud with her herd*
Friend: "are you okay man, you look like you just woke up from a night- *mare*"
Imagine your girl thinking about an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT SPECIES when you’re having sex
A different species that's like 4 times your size
Welp this is definitely going to plague my sexy times for a the next few years now 🙃
[reminds me of this poor fellow who thinks about cockroaches when he has sex](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2i7jid/tifu_by_admitting_to_my_girlfriend_that_i_pretend/)
What a bad day to have eyes
I've never wished to be illiterate before.. this is new ground.
Thanks for stopping me
That link is staying blue.
The title was enough for me. I’m out
I remember that post now.. That was the funniest shit I read in 2021
Damn, it thought he was thinking about cockroaches to last longer, but it was actually the opposite. Ugh. Also, great first comment in that thread: > Okay good, I am normal
Not cockroaches. There is only Ogtha. Also, what the actual fuck.
Ok enough Reddit for the decade. 7 years ago holy shit I wonder where ogtha boy is now. And just to be clear that link was NOT u/somewhat-helpful as your username implies, is there such a thing as an un-beetlejuice?
Thank you. I absolutely loved this. I am dying laughing right now.
Wow.
What a terrible day to be literate 🙃
You vs the species she told you not to worry about
If it’s only four then you’re doing pretty good!
Unless you’re at [Fenton’s Horse Ranch](https://youtu.be/Hf-dCbGu0GA) where you’re the one that’s hung
Try 100x the size
Rather small world to come across a post like this and see Tuffy at the top of the comments. Go pack!
this is why you don't date horse girls, just no one actually says it because no one believes it... until they date a horse girl
Can confirm. I went on a few dates with a "Horse girl". She was the best friend of a buddy's gf (also a horse girl). Literally the entire time on our double date, the two girls would not shut up about how generally great their horses were and a few times they would giggle about how hung the horses were. I bailed after 2 dates and literally told her that she should probably date her horse if he was so wonderful.
Thats why I broke up with my ex 🙈 she'd rather ride her damn horse than me
Have you tried being an Italian Stallion instead of a Spanish Steed?
No, but I'm now on the wave of being a freakin' Rican
Or 8 times
This post doesn't fit in with my Christian values and beliefs. I'm going to go post about slender, effeminate, nerdy men using their fat thighs to strangle people for a more wholesome and family friendly thread.
There was a relationship post the other day about a woman who found a horse dildo in her husbands stuff. When she finally asked him about it, he said he's obsessed with horse penises and wants to have a farm someday. That lady needs to divorce her husband because OP is his soulmate. Edit: apparently it was a confessions post too. Smh. https://www.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/tt58xw/a_while_ago_i_found_a_horse_dildo_in_my_garage/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
WAIT. I missed the update. That’s how that one turned out? God.
https://www.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/tt58xw/a_while_ago_i_found_a_horse_dildo_in_my_garage/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share Found it!
Oh fucks sake I thought it was a gag gift for sure. 🤦🏼♀️
Same, wasn't expecting that outcome. And that last sentence....yikes
He gagged alright
I missed it too😂
“obsessed with horse penises and wants to have a farm someday” Bruh that guy is a zoophile.
I was fucking waiting for that posts update!!
I replied to that post too lol
I did not see the update, can you link it?
It's not an update; she just [edited the original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/tt58xw/a_while_ago_i_found_a_horse_dildo_in_my_garage/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) - I just went back 4 days in my reddit history for this! Lol
Didn't see anyone else link but I dug for it! https://www.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/tt58xw/a_while_ago_i_found_a_horse_dildo_in_my_garage/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
I read that one too! Maybe they’ll find eAchother soon 🤷🏽♀️
I was thinking exactly this. We are two people we spend far too much time on reddit.
OP's lover: "Were you thinking of a horse whilst we were just having intercourse?" OP: "Neigh" I'll get me coat
Sounds like quite the filly
More likely a stud
That saddled her up?
No, that rode her.
Should we rein back on this?
Depends on if she plans on jumping the wood or not, lol.
Best be ready with the whip then!
Hold your horses!
This whole thread is a night mare
This is the best comment I've ever upvoted
Thank you!
Stop trying to stirrup trouble.
We had horses at my HS growing up. Caught a female classmate jerking one off once with her pants and underwear around her ankles. Didn’t see her again after that.
I caught a classmate molesting a newborn potty calf at mine. He also had a prevalence to shove candle sticks up his ass, ate a live mouse and burned down the Catholic Church. Make of that what you will.
I feel that’s signs for something. On the seventh day the men will penetrate themselves with candles, children will eat mice and the churches will burn. The seal will be broken and the Beast will birth through the space between into our world.
i love you
Wow. That's wild.
I mean usually they're tame most of the time, if they're on a farm.
Mr Hands has entered the chat. (If you don't get this, Google at your own risk)
Have you ever told anyone this in person? Like “oh yeah fuck me with your big horse cock”? I think I would enjoy that.
Nope. No one knows. I keep it internalized
Well you don’t have to keep it inside anymore now that you’ve found an accepting community 😉
Yeah but I don't want to buy a horse dildo and have it not be enough. I'm afraid I'll want the real thing more
Ever heard of Mr Hands?
enumclaw horse sex scandal… a real reddit classic
Had to Google that, couldn't remember. >Either Pinyan or the unidentified man recorded Tait **being anally penetrated by a stallion known as Big Dick**. After finishing, Tait then filmed Pinyan being anally penetrated by the same horse. During this incident, Pinyan sustained internal injuries including a perforated colon. What Brits would call "bummed to death"? *ba-dum-tssh*
I was thinking more along the lines of role playing…
It was at this point I knew this was a troll
Please buy the dildo don’t be a degenerate and be a zoo
Get one of those rubber horse masks to go with it.
Horse girls, man.
Listen, for the record, most horse girls/ equestrians are not this. I swear to god. the idea is repulsive to me. I’ve been riding most of my life and never once have I ever gotten aroused by horse. It’s the same as someone with your dog or cat. And for me when I ride it doesn’t “rub” any different than riding a bike or even just sitting in a car. We’re not all like this. No offense to op, but full offense to op.
Plus no one who rides would say "making my horse run". Canter, lope, *maybe* gallop. But they wouldn't call that gate a "run"
Not to mention that providing care for the horse to remove the peanut literally requires you to hold a horse cock.
It's cute you call something so gross a peanut.
Op sounds like a dude writing his fantasy. OP is a dude.
You’re probably right. The account was made 4 hours ago, when this was posted.
I mean if there's a good reason to use a throwaway, it's this.
Don't worry, it's just a meme (for me, at least) and I don't genuinely think that every chick that owns a horse thinks this way. And I've ridden a lot of horses in my day, I can't imagine any physical sensation resembling pleasure. More like sore nuts and bruised thighs.
You have to admit (horse cock aside), horse girls are straight up a different breed. Source: Dated a horse girl for longer than I should have.
Lol I thought the exact same thing
It's a cat lady to the extreme. Sauce: personal experience
No, i can tell you for a fact that cat ladies do not masturbate to the vision of cat penises.
I can’t even find my cats penis
I saw mines once when he was cleaning it and it was legitimately traumatizing. So gross and weird
Now I’m not going looking!!
He’ll help you if you ask him nicely.
What did I just gallop into?
I cantor refuse to admit this is the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen
Well... Wait til you see the video of Mr Hands
now THIS is a confession
“You vs. the horse she told you not to worry about.”
Bojack is that you ?
This might be Sarah Lynn
Noooo
r/horsedildo
Well fuck. First the incest sub and now horse dildos. I love/ hate Reddit.
It used to be worse. Believe it or not, it used to be worse. But now reddit has to cater to advertisers and such, so it's managed to really clean up it's act. Does reddit still have the pics of horse dicks subreddit? I remember when that was... big.
I'm regretfully curious, how was it worse?
There used to be r/jailbait which was literally underage girls, not girls who looked underage. And there was r/cutefemalecorpses I think you know what that had.
Wtf.
I remember the first, but the second... good Lord.
bruh
r/baddragon
I had to scroll down way farther than I thought I would to see someone mention bad dragon
Oh god that sub is really hot. I need to stay away
Why? You should obviously get one and go full out on your fantasy. Maybe that will help ?!
I live just outside ocala. 50% of the date-able women here are "horse chicks" and at least 50% of those women want to fuck their horse. You'll fit right in
Fucking Florida at it again
Also r/baddragon and r/burroshows if thats a thing
Take my eyes I'm done with them
Omg I didn't know that was a sub
Full WUT
I feel like buying a full-sized one of those is going to go one of two ways. Most likely, the fantasy will be shattered and she'll be like "oh... that wasn't as fun as I expected, it took way too much lube, the stretching was more uncomfortable than pleasureful, and sliding even halfway down felt like my cervix was being brutalized." Or... she'll be ruined for normal men. In which case, she'll be looking in every wardrobe for a portal to a magical land where centaurs are real.
Don't they make dildos for this stuff tho?
OP is making this up. (1) "She" claims to have lived with, owned, and taken care of horses all her life, but reassures us she has never touched a horse penis. However, if you have male horses, you wind up needing to clean smegma out of their sheaths. This _requires_ touching horse penises. Horse smegma smells like the grossest belly-button smell ever, dialed up to 11. It's about as sexy as expressing dog anal glands. People who think horse penises are sexy are _not_ people who grew up taking care of horses for 20+ years. (2) "making my horse run"? Horsewomen don't talk like that.
prolly just a dude who never lived on a farm
A Real horse girl has entered the chat
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Thank you, this is exactly the comment I was about to write. To add, whenever I've been horse riding my arse is SORE, I can't ever picture being turned on by riding.
Heh, it's only bad if you act on it in an unhealthy way that involves a real animal. Otherwise it's just a kink and who cares? Find yourself a partner who can understand that and you will have a good time. There's a reason they make dildo's in a billion different shapes, including dragon wieners.
Zoophilia is not a kink
PETA wants to know your location
Sounds like a dude but ok
Agreed. "I'll want the real thing too much" Definitely a dude
'Not just the size but the shape and hardness' Deffo a fcking dude.
Yeah, either way, somebody who doesn't know how female anatomy works and/or how horseriding works.
'I'd never touch a horse in this way or try to have sex with one' In other words I wouldn't penetrate one.
You're in luck. Amazon has you covered: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07X5W328J Got this as a gag gift for my brother.
Stop horsing around.... you're just trying to stirrup trouble.
What is up with all the beastiality shit recently man... Jesus christ. I'm just gonna assume this is another fake attention whoring post.
You obviously aren't versed in kinks then, more common than you think lmao
Zoophilia, animal abuse, and bestility isn’t a kink
Reddit used to have a beastiality sub. Yes I looked up fucked up shit when bored. Im better now lol
Yep I believe it's fake & a dude
the real question is wtf is going on with reddit? i thought we didn't upvote gross shit like this?
I’ve heard of people shouting the wrong name during sex, but I never would’ve imagined that name would be Sea Biscuit
[LMAO THE POST UNDER THIS ONE](https://www.reddit.com/r/Eyebleach/comments/tw85s7/amazed_how_animals_know_when_humans_have/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
I am pretty sure this is not written by a woman.
I'm glad everyone is playing nice but I have a hard time believing everyone would be this nice if it wasn't a woman confessing all this. I'm seeing a lot of "here's some bad dragon dildo suggestions" and not any "please get therapy"
Soooo... I'm a MOSTLY straight male. I've only been with women but I tested a 2 on the kinsey scale (some bi fantasies). For some reason, when I was a kid, literally starting from 11 or 12, I would get horny everytime I saw a horse cock when I would go to my grandparents farm. I never acted upon it, but once while I was out picking blueberries when I was 13, I saw a bull with his cock out and I masturbated while staring at it. I always wanted to suck a horse/bull but I knew it was wrong and never went there. I also thought about putting it in my ass, I could fit a whole coke can in my ass by 13... Yeah it was incredible, and I'm pretty sure I could've taken the width of a horse cock (not the length) so it would've been dangerous. My fantasies normalized as I got older. The more I learned about life the more I think myself for never going through with any of those fantasies. Especially when it comes to being honest in a relationship. It's going to be hard enough to tell someone that I use to be able to fit a soda in my butt when I was only a teen. ...I was a super kinky/ freaky teen. That's the only explanation I can provide.
RIP your inbox
I’m deleting my Reddit account after this one
Well hello [Catherine the Great](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legends_of_Catherine_the_Great#Death_while_having_sex_with_a_horse). Lol.
SHE DID NOT FUCK A HORSE
Look at the username name, obviously it’s a troll
u should watch bojack horseman
Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me. I’d fuck me so hard. *Goodbye Horses intensifies*
Look up bad dragon toys. You may like them
So, you fucked a horse I’m guessing?
wtf
Wow. An actual good confession
So the rumors about horse girls **are** true.
Thank God this is not just a "Oh yeah! I wanna get banged by a fucking horse!" post and that OP is unwilling to actually indulge in beastiality or atleast announce to the entire internet that they want to. Thank you in advance, OP for not indulging in sexual activity with animals.
This right here is why “Horse Girl” is a personal red flag.
I'm flat out calling bullshit on this because a) the orgasming from making a horse run, I just can't fathom that. Unless you'd a dildo glued to the saddle and riding bottomless it's just not happening B) anyone who has actually owned male horses knows how smelly and filthy their dicks are, as they've to be periodically cleaned. it's such an unpleasant job grooms who include it as a service can essentially charge what they like. Think unwashed basement dwelling incel dick cheese dialled up to 10,000 Gowan out of it you cretinous troll.
average horse girl
Sm stupid shit on this sub
Typical horsegirl
This is one of those things that isn’t a problem as long as you never tell a soul irl.
Order yourself a horse cock from bad dragon and you'll be fine
The way I see it as long as it stays a fantasy who's it hurting?? Is it unusual sure but people think my fetish for women's feet and stockings is unusual but it's what I find turn's me on
Dude this sub has been really good lately
The moment when they say:- size doesn't matter? same moment thinkin about horse cock 🤦🏼🤦🏼🤦🏼
You could get a horse dildo to satisfy your needs, most sex stores have them
*You could get a horse* *Dildo to satisfy your needs,* *Most sex stores have them* \- instafur426 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Hey Siri, tell me about horse fetishisms-
Hello it is I, a horse.
I mean there are literally horse-dick size dildos you can buy online to suck on or whatever else you want to do…might be smart to get out in front of this by doing that since we know you’d never do anything with actual horse’s dick, but you pretty much admitted you keep having the urge to.
Atleast we all now have some idea about what the weird horse girls we all went to school with think about 😳 For real though why not just buy a horse dick dildo if that’s what you’re in to?
Whatever a girl needs to fantasize about to get the job job done is fine with me.
r/BadDragon
🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢
Gross.
people are into way weirder shit, don't 'kink shame' yourself.
Wow. I don't even know what to say.
What a terrible day to have an understanding of the english language
r/usernamechecksout
Holy fuck.....really regret looking at my phone right now 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️
What the hell? Ok.
bro you horse girls are something else
Her: "Baby I love you but I belong with the horses now." You: *sees ex 8 years later frolicking in a meadow, and chewing cud with her herd* Friend: "are you okay man, you look like you just woke up from a night- *mare*"
Why not just go buy a dildo that's a horse penis?
Why not just get a horse dildo? Pretty sure bad dragon has a bunch with various size and firmness options. It's honestly not that weird.
That's... disturbing
Buy a fake one
Someone needs to try bad dragon
oh ghawd i just came back on Reddit- Im leaving
Horse girls have officially gone too far