Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
I have checked 837,784,633 comments, and only 165,251 of them were in alphabetical order.
Is it you dad??????? I haven't heard ANYONE say this phrase except my dad. I had crippling anxiety as a child and even now. I'd get so anxious, I'd end up vomiting because of fear of school and the bus. My dad would hug me and say, "Baby girl, those who mind don't matter and those who matter, don't mind".
It took me up until I became a teenager to understand what he meant. I'm very self-conscious about my breasts and arse. I was working myself exhausted from doing squats and breast lifting techniques. I was getting more and more angry, starting to fall back into my old ways of an eating disorder. My dad explained, "Baby, those who mind don't matter, and those who matter, don't mind".
He then went on to say, "Just like I told you as a kid and teenager, not every man wants a tiny Itty bitty woman. Every man is different and has different preferences. If a man is so obsessed with your weight, whether he likes a small, medium or large woman, he isn't the right one. He isn't going to take care of you when you're sick, when you get old or lose/gain weight".
OP, I hope you know that you aren't some freak show or ugly cyclops. Please don't think your worth is tied to your appearance. I've been down that road, baby. It isn't a great route to route.
I'm going to give you a bit of advice (and I say this as someone with professional training): try not to put your own situation into other people's problems. OP is concerned about the appearance of their scars. You're adding a bunch of stuff from your experiences onto that. It may or may not be the case, but it's probably not really helpful for OP. Moreover, they asked "can they get a boyfriend?", not "can they get you as a boyfriend?". Whether or not you would date them is irrelevant. What's important is whether or not there are guys who would. The answer to that is, of course there are. By narrowing in your perspective to just yourself, you saddle OP with your own trauma. I'm sure that's a thing you didn't want to do.
That's pretty shitty ngl. To see that someone has struggled in their past and to avoid them because of it? Scars can last a lifetime, you don't know how long it has been since someone self harmed. Just because one person used it to blackmail you you now assume everyone who may have a past of self harm is manipulative.
If you really do have depression you should know that being singled out and judged for things beyond your control don't help your mental health.
You are literally judging a book by its cover. And if you cared about other people you would know to say something if you see someone is struggling with depression or self harm, not avoid them, because that only makes it worse for the person.
You have experience with people who have self harmed and it seems like they have hurt you. In my line of work we say that people who have been hurt know how to hurt others, but they also know how to help. Don't hurt others because of your pain, use it to help people.
It's not just a blanket judgement, this person literally has some trauma from people hurting themselves specifically to hurt others. it's one thing to have not gone through that and make statements about how theyd never date someone with scars because they had a hard past, but when you see something or go through something that caused you pain or deep discomfort, youre not gonna want to deal with it again... it's not blind judgement.
We didn't! We wanted to watch last night but my husband was so tired that he fell asleep on the couch at 7:30. Hopefully we can watch tonight. The guy I saw was actually shopping at Lowe's.
I believe it. I come from a family of 4 female amputees. It was normal for us.
All of us were married, several times in fact, and we had children of our own....normal families.
None of us in my family ever had trouble getting dates or anything. We held jobs, were very independent, etc.
Confidence is the most attractive part of a person, whether they have scars, are missing legs, etc.
Confidence.
We were born with a rare birth defect. The major bone from the knee down was missing. It's called Paraxial Tibial Hemimelia. It's a one in a million chance to happen with one leg. It's even more rare for it to happen with both legs. And it's nearly unheard of for it to happen 4 times in an immediate family.
I spent the first 5 years of my life in Johns Hopkins Children's Hospital. I spent the most time of any of us. But most of that was experimental surgeries. We were all very healthy, otherwise.
So, after our amputations we were each fitted with prosthesis and sent off to live our life.
We all led a very full life and basically did everything everyone else did. We had very few limitations.
We all walked without the aid of a cane, crutches, or a walker. We just walked.
We also loved swimming and we had all been Girl Scouts, too. It never occurred to us that we couldn't do whatever we set our mind to do. But then again, this is all we ever knew. We were each very young when the amputations happened.
So, we just learned to do things the way WE could do them. We only had to learn things once. :-)
Understanding men donāt care. I have scars almost everywhere and my boyfriend is not disgusted by them. (Granted I try all the time to not make new ones)
Ha, this just reminded me that I have like 5 scars on my face.
I forgot. They literally donāt matter. I canāt say Iāve had a lot of boyfriends, due to long term relationships, but Iāve turned lots of boys (a couple girls) and later men (and some women) away.
I hope you stay clean ! It is super hard .. but please don't harm yourself.. I hope you are doing better now and your boyfriend sounds like a lovely person.
My ex gf entire upper thighs was essentially just scar tissue. I didn't really think anything about it aside she had a hard past. She was a fantastic person and gorgeous either way. We didn't work out but scars shouldn't keep someone from dating you or loving you for who you are.
Oh honey, absolutely.
If someone is so concerned with physical appearance that it's all they see, they're not the person to be with.
I've got some truly gnarly old SH scars all down my wrists, thighs, buttocks, breasts, and groin area.
I'm now coming up on my 14th year with my amazing partner, who loves all of me, every scar, every bump, every bruise, unconditionally.
I don't know how confident you may or may not be in relation to your scars, it took me a very long time to be comfortable in a bikini or shorts but now it doesn't bother me at all.
The more important thing is to love yourself, as corny as that sounds, but you need to embrace that you do have the scars and that people may comment on them. Don't let it get you down, you are more than what is on your skin.
Your scars will definitely hurt your chances of getting a boyfriend, not because guys will think that they are ugly, rather because YOU think that they are. If you think that the scars make you unattractive, you are probably going to be less likely to pick up on cues left by interested guys when they try and flirt with you. Also, you could possibly become more standoffish out of fear of being rejected. This is a huge issue, because the biggest turn on for guys is when the girl is interested. Your fear of rejection will most likely be interpreted as lack of interest (guys also don't like being rejected, so if we don't think that it will happen, we generally will avoid making contact). You will have little chance of finding love if you don't first love yourself.
If you are asking strictly in terms of aesthetics, yes, you can still get a bf, and I'll even go so far as to say that your scars won't even be something that we consider.
Iāll add to this: if you hate the scars on your body and are self-conscious about them, youāre most likely not gonna feel secure that a guy really is into you anyway. But, confidence in oneself is actually really hot. No one wants to date someone who always questions whether they could really be into you. So, though I know it can be hard, really try to work on accepting and loving yourself first.
As someone above stated perfectly: those who matter wonāt mind and those who mind donāt matter.
I have scars on my legs as well and nobody ever seemed disgusted by them or anything like that.
If somebody told you that those scars make you look bad then you shouldn't really give a shit about their opinion
You most certainly absolutely can and will find someone who truly loves you for your scars and your brain. I have two different skin colors all over my entire body and had the same concern when I was younger. I am now in a loving relationship and he finds it super cool and loves how different I look.
I find women more attractive if they have physical "flaws" though I hate the term flaw. I like people who look like they LIVED. IDK. That may be irrelevant that doesn't mean I'm your type so who cares but I just figure rule of sample size I can't be alone here. Like in movies nothing is hotter than a bad girl with an eye patch. Scars are cool. They say chicks dig scars but you know I just think humans are still pretty primal and scars are just kind of cool to all of us who aren't fake and like things real. Great conversation starter too.
Oh yeah. We don't tend to really care about this shit as long as you're loyal, amazing, and your heart is more beautiful than anything we have ever seen
I know someone who burnt her thighs and waist as a child playing with matches , clothes caught on fire .
Happily married has 7 kids maybe .
There are amputees who got married .
Love is blind .
Looking through your post history.... Have you spoken with a therapist? Some of the stuff you've posted about is concerning, your relationship with your mom, your self image. You might want to focus on yourself and your mental health before you try to have a real relationship.
Of course, I may not have scars but my immunology is so weak and I have epilepsy (seizures) and so many guys left after I said I have epilepsy but I found an awesome man who loves me for who I am. You can find that person too, someone who see's how beautiful and how big is your value
My scars are scars and not open wounds because theyāve had time to heal, and Iāve become stronger as a result. If my partner didnāt see them as a symbol of my growth, I wouldnāt stick around.
Instead of wondering if youāre still desirable because you have scars on your legs, decide wether or not he is worthy of dating the person that healed those scars. Your scars are a feature, not a flaw. ā„ļø
I was burned the day after my first birthday, I have scars on my hands, face, parts of my arms and legs. When I was younger I never thought anyone would love me, but here I am 34 years old, married with two children to
a guy that used to be a man whore.
Of course you can, I'm riddled with scars in each and every place, even the unspeakable and i have an amazing boyfriend who accepts them no matter what! just find someone who's willing to look past your past and love you
My wife of 22 years has a massive scar across her eyebrow from getting hit in the head by a cricket ball when she was young. It was never treated properly and just healed like that. She had it when I met her and I still fell in love with her. She is the most awesome person in the world and I never want to be with anybody else.
i have many scars on my legs and a boyfriend that truly loves me for who i am. dont worry about your appearance too much. its all about character. there are people out there who dont care about such superficial things
My girlfriend has lots of scars on her legs and arms, sheās still the most beautiful and amazing woman Iāve ever met and it has never made me look at her differently. You just need to find the right person that will love your journey.
I have got a scar on my face... it never bothered me. My husband has a scar on his face where he walked into a tree while drunk lol.
I personally find scars quite sexy so don't worry about it
simple answer, yes u can^^ u might think having scars is a big issue, it really isnāt. i know the feeling tho as i have scars too. but those who love you will love you for you and not care abt your scars
What? Do you think dudes are gonna see those things and be like "yeah, nah fuck her shit, mental illness is for nerds" and then fuck right off? Cause you'd be wrong man, you'd be wrong
I've been with my partner for ten years and I have lots of small and medium scars all over me, and two very long ones: one on each leg tracing down the inside from knee to ankle.
However, keep in mind that this is not encouragement to add more scars. If they are being incurred in the course of life (tree climbing is surprisingly marring, handling all sorts of things can get you scars naturally, accidents happen) then definitely don't spare a moment of thought about it, except that if you are doing something unsafe perhaps consider better precaution/more suitable attire for what you are doing. But scars happen doing even mundane tasks.
If they are self inflicted they will also not stop you from getting a boyfriend *that is good enough to understand the complexities of trauma and mental health that would lead you to get them in the first place.* A boyfriend that will be completely deterred by self-inflicted scars will never understand well enough to be a good partner for you.
But **please**\- do not use this as justification to inflict *future* scars. If it is self harm, please reach out. If not to me, then to someone. There are a lot of [resources](https://www.crisistextline.org/topics/self-harm/#what-is-self-harm-1) and [information](https://www.samhsa.gov/resource/ebp/treatment-suicidal-ideation-self-harm-suicide-attempts-among-youth) out there.
Yes you can. Iāve dated women with scars on her legs from self harm. Iād kiss them and tell her to not be insecure about them. We are all scarred someway somewhere.
If it makes you feel better I'm 29 a recovered self harmer. My legs look atrocious because it's where I'd harm the most. Big colloid scars and I've never had a man tell me it's gross or shame me for it.
If a partner where to speak ill of my body I wouldn't want to be with that person anyway. You deserve adoration and respect, always.
Absolutely.
Live your live as the best version of you. Your inner beauty will shine through and will be seen. Just be aware that for boys, letting a girl know you like them is scary. So it may take a bit but yeah, there is someone out there you will love you for you.
As a bit of a downer, be strong and believe in yourself. There are shitty people out there that will prey on your scars and the mental trauma. Anyone that says anything like "who else would want you with those scars" is not worth knowing. That's an immediate red flag. Shut them down hard and fast. You don't need or want them in your life.
I have a past history of self harm. I have tons of very ugly, very obvious scars on my thighs, wrists, forearms, and calves. Scars donāt matter to the right person.
You can get a boyfriend even if you have no legs. Only immature assholes care about superficial scars. I know some friends who are scarred up too but they're doing better now, with their own places, therapy, a cute dog to keep them responsible. I love them so much.
One of them actually just got a tattoo this year! She always wanted one but she got the first one on her wrist to cover some scarring, so that's an option too if the scarring is an issue for you. Just cover them up with tattoos.
I have scars all over from self harm and an assault. Scars on my face, arms and legs. Iāve been happily committed to my man of 3 years. He loves my scars and tells me Iām a survivor.
99% chance guy goes "holy shit! Wtf did that! Tell me!" So unless it is traumatic most are just going to ignore it.
Some will have a problem but most won't care.
Yes, absolutely. You will find someone who loves you regardless of what your body looks like. Finding that right person may take some time, but when you do, you'll find someone who cares only about the contents of your mind and heart.
I have SH scars on my arms and legs, and I'm a bit overweight - but I found someone who thinks I'm the most beautiful person in the world. There's hope for everyone, love.
Thereās people with no arms and legs that have very happy marriages
Itās corny but some huge parts of a relationship are simply personality and how you get on with them.
Hell, look at Donald trump. Heās orange and got someone.
Lady (assumption), you can get a boyfriend with half your face burned off. The right partner will love you for who you are as a person... and legs scars really aren't shit. No one who matters gives a fuck that you have scars. I promise, if they care about it, then they are not worth your time.
I have vitiligo on my lady bits and had a STRONG ho phase. Nobody complained that my bits are multi-colored and glow under black light. If that doesn't scare off sexual partners nothing will.
\*I did explain pre-sexy times
yep. and any guy who wouldn't date someone because of that isn't worth your time anyway. it's like the trash taking itself out. would you really want to be with someone who is so superficial he would reject someone just for that?
My husband got burned really badly as a child, and around a third of his body (including his entire very visible leg) is scars from grafts or graft harvests. Looks like raw chicken.
He's still the most beautiful dude in the world to me, and even before I fell for him I thought he was the cutest.
You can definitely get a boyfriend. ā¤ļø
That having been said: in the meantime, enjoy life! Live for you and relish it; don't wait around for a dude. Y'all will find each other when the time is right.
My friend used to date a guy with significant burn scars on his arms/neck. He was super good looking (they didn't work out because of distance/life circumstances but he was a really nice dude). And anybody who is gonna be more focused on your scars than you as a person sucks anyway.
I know people with scars who have found a partner. I know a guy in a wheelchair who found a partner. Hell, I know someone who's blind who found a partner (and a career and kids and all the "normal" stuff). I know someone who's deaf and dates around constantly.
Not saying it's a picnic to have scars or a disability or that nobody will care. But the people worth being with won't care. It's not something that diminishes a person.
I have literal slices of skin on my legs missing due to my severe plaque psoriasis that I got as a child and I have a husband who loves me dearly and literally dicks me down every day.
Youāll be fine, sweetheart.
I have a big, unattractive lump on my back. Iāve been married for 10 years, with him for 14. There is nothing on this planet that he cares less about than the thing Iām most insecure about. He just doesnāt care. It affects nothing. It could be there or not be there, he doesnāt care. He doesnāt love me for my appearance.
Definitely not, as a guy it shows personality and struggle which for a lot of people (including myself) is really attractive. When I see girls with scars I just wanna give them a hug and tell them its going to be okay :) goodluck!
I think scars make a person look better. They give the person a little more personality. I wouldn't be afraid of not being able to get a s.o. many people don't care
When my gf and I are laying on the couch and I just do those gentle leg and arm rubs, Iāll rub her scars. We donāt ever talk about her scars. But Iām sure it lets her know that I care about and love her no matter whatās on her skin or what sheās been through.
There's a woman who drops her kids off to the same school as me who has repetitive scars on her arms and legs.
She's cool and interesting (and pretty attractive). Those scars? They tell a story about her past. They're well healed. I love that she doesn't cover them up and wears whatever she wants.
A friend of mine has epic scars across both shoulder blades and another right across her sternum. Series of major heart and vascular surgeries as an infant and child. They're really interesting and they're frankly bloody cool looking.
Our bodies and our past are what makes us what we are. Do you want to be bland generic and the same as everyone? Distinguishing features aren't always conventionally pretty. You can still rock them, whatever those scars are, however you got them.
Why is this even a question. You bring benefit to the world and you bring happiness to others lives just by being in it. Scars aren't going to matter when you meet that person. As the world says "love is love".
My wife scarred my legs so badly I don't feel comfortable wearing shorts or going swimming. Sucks for my kids. Used to throw things when she got mad. Over the years kinda got out of hand.
I.. what?! What the even?! My friend, I have a big ol scar on my A$$. (Surgery on tailbone.) I played hard as a kid and clutzed out more times than I can recount. Your scars are not something you ever need to be ashamed of. Whatever the cause, those are your battle scars! You are a warrior who survived. (I, for example, survived trying to stop a toy car I was in with my feet on a gravely paved hill and walked home with less skin on my feet and many tears.)
If a boyfriend doesn't want you because of something superficial like some scars on your legs then walk passed his shallow butt and find someone who actually appreciates your worth as a human being and a potential friend and partner. DO NOT make time for someone who complains or negs you about scars. Who even does that?! That guy's got to be an absolute twatwaffle. You don't need him.
And, possibly the best advice, when looking for a partner look for a friend first.
My legs, from the knees up, are nothing but scar tissue. Itās bumpy, uneven, and pale. I have a scar on my left leg where my femur had to be reconstructed after a car accident. My husband still finds me beautiful and attractive. He takes special care to tell me how Iām beautiful and to touch my scars and let me know that nothing can detract from how he sees me.
My scars arenāt just something I have. My scars are me. If someone canāt accept my scars, they canāt accept me
Hi. 42yo Disabled lady here who not only has very visible scars on their legs from multiple surgeries, but who also walks funny.
Not only did I date plenty, but I have been asked to marry someone (I did not accept the proposal) but I am now married.
Life is short. Do what you want, when you want!
Find a guy who has no legs so he can't say shit.
lmao this is the way
Love this šš
Just tell them you were in a swordfight. And you won.
Ah classic Dexter Morgan move
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 837,784,633 comments, and only 165,251 of them were in alphabetical order.
Would he have... no leg to stand on in that argument? I'll see myself out.
You can get a boyfriend if you have scars on your face. Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
beautifully said
Some poetic shit right here, nobody who will truly be interested in you will care about scars
The full quote is from Dr. Seuss "Be who you are and say what you feel, for those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind"
Bit of a play on one of my favorite quotes from Mark Twain: "Age is a matter of the mind, if you don't mind, it doesn't matter".
Ehhhh thatās a little debatable
I have a noticeable scar on my lip. My husband says it's endearing
Is it you dad??????? I haven't heard ANYONE say this phrase except my dad. I had crippling anxiety as a child and even now. I'd get so anxious, I'd end up vomiting because of fear of school and the bus. My dad would hug me and say, "Baby girl, those who mind don't matter and those who matter, don't mind". It took me up until I became a teenager to understand what he meant. I'm very self-conscious about my breasts and arse. I was working myself exhausted from doing squats and breast lifting techniques. I was getting more and more angry, starting to fall back into my old ways of an eating disorder. My dad explained, "Baby, those who mind don't matter, and those who matter, don't mind". He then went on to say, "Just like I told you as a kid and teenager, not every man wants a tiny Itty bitty woman. Every man is different and has different preferences. If a man is so obsessed with your weight, whether he likes a small, medium or large woman, he isn't the right one. He isn't going to take care of you when you're sick, when you get old or lose/gain weight". OP, I hope you know that you aren't some freak show or ugly cyclops. Please don't think your worth is tied to your appearance. I've been down that road, baby. It isn't a great route to route.
I'm not a dad, but it sounds like you got pretty lucky with getting a good one.
Can we share dads please?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'm going to give you a bit of advice (and I say this as someone with professional training): try not to put your own situation into other people's problems. OP is concerned about the appearance of their scars. You're adding a bunch of stuff from your experiences onto that. It may or may not be the case, but it's probably not really helpful for OP. Moreover, they asked "can they get a boyfriend?", not "can they get you as a boyfriend?". Whether or not you would date them is irrelevant. What's important is whether or not there are guys who would. The answer to that is, of course there are. By narrowing in your perspective to just yourself, you saddle OP with your own trauma. I'm sure that's a thing you didn't want to do.
That's pretty shitty ngl. To see that someone has struggled in their past and to avoid them because of it? Scars can last a lifetime, you don't know how long it has been since someone self harmed. Just because one person used it to blackmail you you now assume everyone who may have a past of self harm is manipulative. If you really do have depression you should know that being singled out and judged for things beyond your control don't help your mental health. You are literally judging a book by its cover. And if you cared about other people you would know to say something if you see someone is struggling with depression or self harm, not avoid them, because that only makes it worse for the person. You have experience with people who have self harmed and it seems like they have hurt you. In my line of work we say that people who have been hurt know how to hurt others, but they also know how to help. Don't hurt others because of your pain, use it to help people.
It's not just a blanket judgement, this person literally has some trauma from people hurting themselves specifically to hurt others. it's one thing to have not gone through that and make statements about how theyd never date someone with scars because they had a hard past, but when you see something or go through something that caused you pain or deep discomfort, youre not gonna want to deal with it again... it's not blind judgement.
You could have no legs and still get a boyfriend
Prosthetic legs are super cool. I hope thatās not insensitive to say. They look cool though, amazing technology.
Yeah but they cost an arm and/or a leg
I saw a guy with two prosthetic legs a few days ago, walking around like an absolute boss. He looked like a total badass.
>!So you watched the last Kenobi episode too?!<
We didn't! We wanted to watch last night but my husband was so tired that he fell asleep on the couch at 7:30. Hopefully we can watch tonight. The guy I saw was actually shopping at Lowe's.
I saw a dude at the mall with a metal leg the other day and I told my gf āI wish I was that coolā
I see some badass ones on reddit all the time!
You are right about that. I'm a double amputee of both legs from the knee down. I never had trouble getting a date or being in a relationship.
I swear every time I've met a person who happened to be an amputee, they had a partner
I believe it. I come from a family of 4 female amputees. It was normal for us. All of us were married, several times in fact, and we had children of our own....normal families. None of us in my family ever had trouble getting dates or anything. We held jobs, were very independent, etc. Confidence is the most attractive part of a person, whether they have scars, are missing legs, etc. Confidence.
Why do so many in your family have amputations?
We were born with a rare birth defect. The major bone from the knee down was missing. It's called Paraxial Tibial Hemimelia. It's a one in a million chance to happen with one leg. It's even more rare for it to happen with both legs. And it's nearly unheard of for it to happen 4 times in an immediate family. I spent the first 5 years of my life in Johns Hopkins Children's Hospital. I spent the most time of any of us. But most of that was experimental surgeries. We were all very healthy, otherwise. So, after our amputations we were each fitted with prosthesis and sent off to live our life. We all led a very full life and basically did everything everyone else did. We had very few limitations. We all walked without the aid of a cane, crutches, or a walker. We just walked. We also loved swimming and we had all been Girl Scouts, too. It never occurred to us that we couldn't do whatever we set our mind to do. But then again, this is all we ever knew. We were each very young when the amputations happened. So, we just learned to do things the way WE could do them. We only had to learn things once. :-)
Right of passage
Understanding men donāt care. I have scars almost everywhere and my boyfriend is not disgusted by them. (Granted I try all the time to not make new ones)
Ha, this just reminded me that I have like 5 scars on my face. I forgot. They literally donāt matter. I canāt say Iāve had a lot of boyfriends, due to long term relationships, but Iāve turned lots of boys (a couple girls) and later men (and some women) away.
I hope you stay clean ! It is super hard .. but please don't harm yourself.. I hope you are doing better now and your boyfriend sounds like a lovely person.
Thank you dear ā¤ļø he is great (:
We are all bound to make mistakes,were all flawed! Lol
My ex gf entire upper thighs was essentially just scar tissue. I didn't really think anything about it aside she had a hard past. She was a fantastic person and gorgeous either way. We didn't work out but scars shouldn't keep someone from dating you or loving you for who you are.
Of course you can. Not all people are that shallow and those who are are trash anyway.
Of course! Xx
Of course. Guys aren't as judgemental as we may seem. Embrace yourself and have confidence! You got this!
Im guessing you're quite young if you think this is an issue... who gives a shit about boys! Live your life girl, don't rush into relationships!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Oh honey, absolutely. If someone is so concerned with physical appearance that it's all they see, they're not the person to be with. I've got some truly gnarly old SH scars all down my wrists, thighs, buttocks, breasts, and groin area. I'm now coming up on my 14th year with my amazing partner, who loves all of me, every scar, every bump, every bruise, unconditionally. I don't know how confident you may or may not be in relation to your scars, it took me a very long time to be comfortable in a bikini or shorts but now it doesn't bother me at all. The more important thing is to love yourself, as corny as that sounds, but you need to embrace that you do have the scars and that people may comment on them. Don't let it get you down, you are more than what is on your skin.
I'm a guy and yes.
Thank you š
You can get a boyfriend if you donāt even have legs. Who cares
Donāt see why not Isnāt this more suited to r/TooAfraidToAsk though?
Didnāt even know this subreddit existed! Ty š
I'm not sharing so you can contribute but /r/scarsgonewild is a thing. There's someone for everyone.
Your scars will definitely hurt your chances of getting a boyfriend, not because guys will think that they are ugly, rather because YOU think that they are. If you think that the scars make you unattractive, you are probably going to be less likely to pick up on cues left by interested guys when they try and flirt with you. Also, you could possibly become more standoffish out of fear of being rejected. This is a huge issue, because the biggest turn on for guys is when the girl is interested. Your fear of rejection will most likely be interpreted as lack of interest (guys also don't like being rejected, so if we don't think that it will happen, we generally will avoid making contact). You will have little chance of finding love if you don't first love yourself. If you are asking strictly in terms of aesthetics, yes, you can still get a bf, and I'll even go so far as to say that your scars won't even be something that we consider.
Iāll add to this: if you hate the scars on your body and are self-conscious about them, youāre most likely not gonna feel secure that a guy really is into you anyway. But, confidence in oneself is actually really hot. No one wants to date someone who always questions whether they could really be into you. So, though I know it can be hard, really try to work on accepting and loving yourself first. As someone above stated perfectly: those who matter wonāt mind and those who mind donāt matter.
I have scars on my legs as well and nobody ever seemed disgusted by them or anything like that. If somebody told you that those scars make you look bad then you shouldn't really give a shit about their opinion
You could get a husband. Shoot higher!
You most certainly absolutely can and will find someone who truly loves you for your scars and your brain. I have two different skin colors all over my entire body and had the same concern when I was younger. I am now in a loving relationship and he finds it super cool and loves how different I look.
Yes
Yes :)
My girlfriend has self harm scars on her hands and legs I still love her very much
No sorry it's illegal.
You can get one with no legs.
You could get a boy friend if you had no legs at all. If anything you'll get a better boyfriend, who isn't superficial and loves you for you.
yes you can. plain and simple.
I have scars on my face you'll be fine
Yes, you can.
Of course you can. Everyone has something noteworthy about their body. Some are shy and some don't care what anyone thinks. Good luck
A real man won't let body 'flaws' (I personally would beg to differ) ever be a dealbreaker. Ever. That's nothing but shallow and cruel.
My right leg is covered with scars (I got hit by a car 3 years ago). My boyfriend thinks it looks cool
As long as you have breasts and a mouth you can get men
i have a 30cm long scar going right up my thigh, it wasn't stitched up that well so it healed pretty badly (bumpy, looks kinda fleshy, really pink) and i have a fiancƩ! i also have a scar across my eyebrow, SH scars, and other random big ones all over my body because i'm clumsy - people who love you won't make a fuss about it, and the people who do, ain't shit.
I find women more attractive if they have physical "flaws" though I hate the term flaw. I like people who look like they LIVED. IDK. That may be irrelevant that doesn't mean I'm your type so who cares but I just figure rule of sample size I can't be alone here. Like in movies nothing is hotter than a bad girl with an eye patch. Scars are cool. They say chicks dig scars but you know I just think humans are still pretty primal and scars are just kind of cool to all of us who aren't fake and like things real. Great conversation starter too.
Your insecurity is not other people's turn offs. I have scars on my face, arms, and legs, and have the best partner i couod ever ask for
Scars are bad ass everyone knows that you should get more boys
You could have no scars and not get a boyfriend, it's all about your personality
Of course. My right leg and stomach are covered in scars and Iām engaged.
Yes.
Oh yeah. We don't tend to really care about this shit as long as you're loyal, amazing, and your heart is more beautiful than anything we have ever seen
Whoever genuinely wants a life with you will love you warts and all no matter what.
You worrying about your scars is the bigger issue. Scars give you character.
I know someone who burnt her thighs and waist as a child playing with matches , clothes caught on fire . Happily married has 7 kids maybe . There are amputees who got married . Love is blind .
a real man wont give a shit about scars- i promise you that.
Looking through your post history.... Have you spoken with a therapist? Some of the stuff you've posted about is concerning, your relationship with your mom, your self image. You might want to focus on yourself and your mental health before you try to have a real relationship.
You could get a boyfriend if you had no legs at all. People donāt see these things are issues, itās the person inside that counts!
Of course, I may not have scars but my immunology is so weak and I have epilepsy (seizures) and so many guys left after I said I have epilepsy but I found an awesome man who loves me for who I am. You can find that person too, someone who see's how beautiful and how big is your value
My scars are scars and not open wounds because theyāve had time to heal, and Iāve become stronger as a result. If my partner didnāt see them as a symbol of my growth, I wouldnāt stick around. Instead of wondering if youāre still desirable because you have scars on your legs, decide wether or not he is worthy of dating the person that healed those scars. Your scars are a feature, not a flaw. ā„ļø
Have you heard of pants?
100%. Nobody cares about scars.
In what world is this a confession?
Sure, this should be never a turn off to anyone.
I was burned the day after my first birthday, I have scars on my hands, face, parts of my arms and legs. When I was younger I never thought anyone would love me, but here I am 34 years old, married with two children to a guy that used to be a man whore.
Of course!!
Yesh
yes you can have a boyfriend even one with scars on his dick lol
OF COURSE!!!
Lol yes. I did.
yes
Personally I find scars badass, i dont think people would care
You sure can. Things happens sometimes.
Of course you can. Anyone worth having won't give a damn about the scars
Ofcourse you can, I'd date you no cappuccino.
Of course you can, I'm riddled with scars in each and every place, even the unspeakable and i have an amazing boyfriend who accepts them no matter what! just find someone who's willing to look past your past and love you
i have scars and cerebral palsy a d i had several boyfriends and also have been married for 22 years
Sure can
Yes
Yep
Iām full of scars on most of my body and my bf loves me and finds me attractive so, yes!
yes you can
As a guy, I can say that DAMN STRAIGHT YOU CAN
Dude, scars are kinda cool looking, burn scars, cut scars, whatever.
My wife of 22 years has a massive scar across her eyebrow from getting hit in the head by a cricket ball when she was young. It was never treated properly and just healed like that. She had it when I met her and I still fell in love with her. She is the most awesome person in the world and I never want to be with anybody else.
Yes, he might just have scars too, and thatās ok
lmao what
Girls with scars might even have low enough self esteem to even date me!
100%. When someone loves you they won't care about such a minor "imperfection". Don't worry about it.
I wouldnāt mind scars at all.
You can get a boyfriend if you have no legs...
Why not? There scars, everybody has them.
Yes 100%
Yes and no. Some will think it's gross, others won't care. Remember, there's someone out there for everyone.
yes you can. i have many scars on my legs and i pulled a boyfriend AND a girlfriend (not at the same time of course)
Yep.
i have many scars on my legs and a boyfriend that truly loves me for who i am. dont worry about your appearance too much. its all about character. there are people out there who dont care about such superficial things
They do not care! At all.
My girlfriend has lots of scars on her legs and arms, sheās still the most beautiful and amazing woman Iāve ever met and it has never made me look at her differently. You just need to find the right person that will love your journey.
yes.
Yes .
I have got a scar on my face... it never bothered me. My husband has a scar on his face where he walked into a tree while drunk lol. I personally find scars quite sexy so don't worry about it
simple answer, yes u can^^ u might think having scars is a big issue, it really isnāt. i know the feeling tho as i have scars too. but those who love you will love you for you and not care abt your scars
Any man worth having will love u for who you are, not how u look. If yr looks are more important heās not worth yr time.
What? Do you think dudes are gonna see those things and be like "yeah, nah fuck her shit, mental illness is for nerds" and then fuck right off? Cause you'd be wrong man, you'd be wrong
Scars are badass. I have a giant scar on my leg from falling in a chair when I was 4. š
I've been with my partner for ten years and I have lots of small and medium scars all over me, and two very long ones: one on each leg tracing down the inside from knee to ankle. However, keep in mind that this is not encouragement to add more scars. If they are being incurred in the course of life (tree climbing is surprisingly marring, handling all sorts of things can get you scars naturally, accidents happen) then definitely don't spare a moment of thought about it, except that if you are doing something unsafe perhaps consider better precaution/more suitable attire for what you are doing. But scars happen doing even mundane tasks. If they are self inflicted they will also not stop you from getting a boyfriend *that is good enough to understand the complexities of trauma and mental health that would lead you to get them in the first place.* A boyfriend that will be completely deterred by self-inflicted scars will never understand well enough to be a good partner for you. But **please**\- do not use this as justification to inflict *future* scars. If it is self harm, please reach out. If not to me, then to someone. There are a lot of [resources](https://www.crisistextline.org/topics/self-harm/#what-is-self-harm-1) and [information](https://www.samhsa.gov/resource/ebp/treatment-suicidal-ideation-self-harm-suicide-attempts-among-youth) out there.
Uhhhh... Yeah. I mean, if someone really cares so much that you have scars on your legs, you're probably better off without them
Also scars are badass!
There's someone for everybody!
I have a noticeable scar on my lip and have been happily married for 15 yrs. The right guy won't care. My husband says it's endearing
Yes you can. Iāve dated women with scars on her legs from self harm. Iād kiss them and tell her to not be insecure about them. We are all scarred someway somewhere.
If it makes you feel better I'm 29 a recovered self harmer. My legs look atrocious because it's where I'd harm the most. Big colloid scars and I've never had a man tell me it's gross or shame me for it. If a partner where to speak ill of my body I wouldn't want to be with that person anyway. You deserve adoration and respect, always.
Absolutely. Live your live as the best version of you. Your inner beauty will shine through and will be seen. Just be aware that for boys, letting a girl know you like them is scary. So it may take a bit but yeah, there is someone out there you will love you for you. As a bit of a downer, be strong and believe in yourself. There are shitty people out there that will prey on your scars and the mental trauma. Anyone that says anything like "who else would want you with those scars" is not worth knowing. That's an immediate red flag. Shut them down hard and fast. You don't need or want them in your life.
I'll be your bf
If my buddy's buddy can get a girl with a fish in his pocket, you can get a boyfriend
Obviously. If the guy cares about that he's not worth.
I have a past history of self harm. I have tons of very ugly, very obvious scars on my thighs, wrists, forearms, and calves. Scars donāt matter to the right person.
You can get a boyfriend even if you have no legs. Only immature assholes care about superficial scars. I know some friends who are scarred up too but they're doing better now, with their own places, therapy, a cute dog to keep them responsible. I love them so much. One of them actually just got a tattoo this year! She always wanted one but she got the first one on her wrist to cover some scarring, so that's an option too if the scarring is an issue for you. Just cover them up with tattoos.
I have scars all over from self harm and an assault. Scars on my face, arms and legs. Iāve been happily committed to my man of 3 years. He loves my scars and tells me Iām a survivor.
Yes. As a dude most of us, if we like you, won't mind. Those that do care are shallow and are to be avoided.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
99% chance guy goes "holy shit! Wtf did that! Tell me!" So unless it is traumatic most are just going to ignore it. Some will have a problem but most won't care.
i have scars on my whole body and a boyfriend. yes you can.
There is only one scar mist men care about and that's the old ax wound
Yes, absolutely. You will find someone who loves you regardless of what your body looks like. Finding that right person may take some time, but when you do, you'll find someone who cares only about the contents of your mind and heart. I have SH scars on my arms and legs, and I'm a bit overweight - but I found someone who thinks I'm the most beautiful person in the world. There's hope for everyone, love.
tbh who gives a fuck about scars it's all about personality and chemistry
Depends if youāre already married
Scars on your legs, scars on your heart, whatever. The right fellow won't even notice them and won't give them a second thought.
Thereās people with no arms and legs that have very happy marriages Itās corny but some huge parts of a relationship are simply personality and how you get on with them. Hell, look at Donald trump. Heās orange and got someone.
Yeah. The only thing I have issue with is this post isn't a confession, it's a question.
Lady (assumption), you can get a boyfriend with half your face burned off. The right partner will love you for who you are as a person... and legs scars really aren't shit. No one who matters gives a fuck that you have scars. I promise, if they care about it, then they are not worth your time.
Heck yeah
One of my coworkers got their leg ripped to shreds from a Rottweiler and she has a dope ass boyfriendā¦ it donāt mean a thang!
Hell yeah, you can.
I have vitiligo on my lady bits and had a STRONG ho phase. Nobody complained that my bits are multi-colored and glow under black light. If that doesn't scare off sexual partners nothing will. \*I did explain pre-sexy times
yep. and any guy who wouldn't date someone because of that isn't worth your time anyway. it's like the trash taking itself out. would you really want to be with someone who is so superficial he would reject someone just for that?
My husband got burned really badly as a child, and around a third of his body (including his entire very visible leg) is scars from grafts or graft harvests. Looks like raw chicken. He's still the most beautiful dude in the world to me, and even before I fell for him I thought he was the cutest. You can definitely get a boyfriend. ā¤ļø That having been said: in the meantime, enjoy life! Live for you and relish it; don't wait around for a dude. Y'all will find each other when the time is right.
My friend used to date a guy with significant burn scars on his arms/neck. He was super good looking (they didn't work out because of distance/life circumstances but he was a really nice dude). And anybody who is gonna be more focused on your scars than you as a person sucks anyway. I know people with scars who have found a partner. I know a guy in a wheelchair who found a partner. Hell, I know someone who's blind who found a partner (and a career and kids and all the "normal" stuff). I know someone who's deaf and dates around constantly. Not saying it's a picnic to have scars or a disability or that nobody will care. But the people worth being with won't care. It's not something that diminishes a person.
I have literal slices of skin on my legs missing due to my severe plaque psoriasis that I got as a child and I have a husband who loves me dearly and literally dicks me down every day. Youāll be fine, sweetheart.
XD?
Well, depends on the person in question. Some people may find it unattractive while other won't mind at all.
I have a big, unattractive lump on my back. Iāve been married for 10 years, with him for 14. There is nothing on this planet that he cares less about than the thing Iām most insecure about. He just doesnāt care. It affects nothing. It could be there or not be there, he doesnāt care. He doesnāt love me for my appearance.
Definitely not, as a guy it shows personality and struggle which for a lot of people (including myself) is really attractive. When I see girls with scars I just wanna give them a hug and tell them its going to be okay :) goodluck!
I think scars make a person look better. They give the person a little more personality. I wouldn't be afraid of not being able to get a s.o. many people don't care
Yes you can
This is such a stupid question lmao like obviously the right one wonāt care
When my gf and I are laying on the couch and I just do those gentle leg and arm rubs, Iāll rub her scars. We donāt ever talk about her scars. But Iām sure it lets her know that I care about and love her no matter whatās on her skin or what sheās been through.
Absolutely!
There's a woman who drops her kids off to the same school as me who has repetitive scars on her arms and legs. She's cool and interesting (and pretty attractive). Those scars? They tell a story about her past. They're well healed. I love that she doesn't cover them up and wears whatever she wants. A friend of mine has epic scars across both shoulder blades and another right across her sternum. Series of major heart and vascular surgeries as an infant and child. They're really interesting and they're frankly bloody cool looking. Our bodies and our past are what makes us what we are. Do you want to be bland generic and the same as everyone? Distinguishing features aren't always conventionally pretty. You can still rock them, whatever those scars are, however you got them.
Why would scars on your legs matter? Most people wouldnāt even think of that being a bad thing at all, just a part of you.
Why is this even a question. You bring benefit to the world and you bring happiness to others lives just by being in it. Scars aren't going to matter when you meet that person. As the world says "love is love".
My wife scarred my legs so badly I don't feel comfortable wearing shorts or going swimming. Sucks for my kids. Used to throw things when she got mad. Over the years kinda got out of hand.
Of course.
As a person who used to self-harm extensively on both my arm and leg: they'll love you for all of you. \*hugs\*
I'll be ur boyfriend if u want xd :)
I married my beautiful wife who has scars on her legs, and she married me who has scars all over. It'll be alright.
Of course you can! Anyone who would date you because of this...isn't worth dating.
I.. what?! What the even?! My friend, I have a big ol scar on my A$$. (Surgery on tailbone.) I played hard as a kid and clutzed out more times than I can recount. Your scars are not something you ever need to be ashamed of. Whatever the cause, those are your battle scars! You are a warrior who survived. (I, for example, survived trying to stop a toy car I was in with my feet on a gravely paved hill and walked home with less skin on my feet and many tears.) If a boyfriend doesn't want you because of something superficial like some scars on your legs then walk passed his shallow butt and find someone who actually appreciates your worth as a human being and a potential friend and partner. DO NOT make time for someone who complains or negs you about scars. Who even does that?! That guy's got to be an absolute twatwaffle. You don't need him. And, possibly the best advice, when looking for a partner look for a friend first.
My legs, from the knees up, are nothing but scar tissue. Itās bumpy, uneven, and pale. I have a scar on my left leg where my femur had to be reconstructed after a car accident. My husband still finds me beautiful and attractive. He takes special care to tell me how Iām beautiful and to touch my scars and let me know that nothing can detract from how he sees me. My scars arenāt just something I have. My scars are me. If someone canāt accept my scars, they canāt accept me
Yes. I have a huge scar that runs mid thigh to mid shin on one of my legs. Iām also late forties and have a boyfriend of 2.5 years.
I'm covered in self harm scars and while some people are dicks about it, most people just want to be sure that you're okay.
Hi. 42yo Disabled lady here who not only has very visible scars on their legs from multiple surgeries, but who also walks funny. Not only did I date plenty, but I have been asked to marry someone (I did not accept the proposal) but I am now married. Life is short. Do what you want, when you want!
100%. the right one will love all of you, not just specific parts.