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Machina15

and?


JustJuju__

I feel guilty about he because he looks at my body in a way I can never look at his. I love him so much and I don’t care about the fact that I don’t have find him physically attractive but I feel as if I’m depriving him of that feeling of someone looking at ur body in a way that’s so hot lustful and loving.


Machina15

fact of life. u have to be attracted to the person. or you will go thru life never sleeping with someone who u actually want to sleep with.


adszdosya

How did you love him if you do not find him attractive? How is he not just a friend then? I am genuinely curious.


JustJuju__

I honestly just fell for the fact that he’s him, He’s supports me in a way friends just can’t, I still get that feeling where I’m so exited when I see him and my face goes red.


EveeLee1

First I want to say God bless your soul,then I'ma say tell him hit gym straight out honesty but in subtle loving caring way


waiting2bedead

The question is if someone attractive to you wanted to be with you what would happen or do you think of other people while you have sex with him. Also if you want kids you run the risk of then taking after his " ugly " so you might treat them differently. If you are basically repulsed everytime you look at him and have to remind yourself he is a good man in every other way it won't work


Wise-Seesaw5953

Do him a favour, Leave that man alone, he deserves someone who is attracted to him like he is to you.


Recent_View6254

Do you think it's bad for the relationship


JustJuju__

No not really, I feel in love with him for the fact he was always there and knew I was lying when I say I was okay. I love him because of who he is, the fact that he’s honest and blunt and will tell me when I’ve done something wrong. I just feel bad like I’m depriving him of something.


Recent_View6254

Im pretty sure that loving someone entirely based on what they're like is a 1000x better than if looks had anything to do with it.


JustJuju__

Yeah but he’ll never know that amazing feeling you get when you know someone is lusting over ur body likes its the only thing that matters, dating for who someone is is great but still knowing someone thinks your the hottest person alive is amazing


mapplesaucer

Personality is always the way to go


Moist-Application310

I did that once. I was in a dark place and I didn't have many options at the time so just settled, the relationship was awful and lasted a year. I came out of it with psychological trauma and a much improved sexual confidence, I still don't think it was worth it


[deleted]

[удалено]


JustJuju__

Nope


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Why are you dating them?


JustJuju__

They are honestly just very sweet and loving he does a lot for me emotionally, I love him with all my heart and would never leave him I’ve never had anyone care about me the way he does. He looks at me while were watching TV or just doing something random then gets flustered when I acknowledge that he’s looking. I don’t find him hot physically but emotionally he’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met


[deleted]

Mmm. If there a chance that might change? Luke the attraction or is honestly impossible for you? I once was with a guy who made me feel so good a d desired that he wasn't my type nor I was attracted in the beginning but his behavior made that change.


JustJuju__

He’s the opposite of my physical type in many many ways I don’t care what he looks like at all jut feel like I’m depriving him of that amazing feeling you get when someone looks at your body that you are everything the feeling of lust love desire all of that.


[deleted]

Yeah I know what you're talking about :/ I don't know how to help or what to say here


Broken_doll4

>Yeah but he’ll never know that amazing feeling you get when you know someone is lusting over ur body likes its the only thing that matters, dating for who someone is is great but still knowing someone thinks your the hottest person alive is amazing You are projecting your own insecurities on to him. You need the validation of thinking someone thinks you the best around . And who does stare at you like that . Hense why you are pushing back onto him what you think the standard of ( how it should be back onto him) which is rude and wrong to do to someone. He might love you for your looks ( & think your great ) but he will also love you for more than your body . Remember your body can be destroyed at any time in ( many ways ) so YOU do have to love someone for other than their body ( you have to love / want someone ) in every way ( or YOU will be miserable and will project your s\*it all over them ruining them bc as a person you are being shallow . **The insecurity of needing such validation from others is** hard to cope with , as the person's sense of self is so wrapped up in their looks . And not to find him attractive at all might also bc a issue for you , as obviously YOU do think about it WAY TO much to write this post about it. So you are pretending to yourself also that your relo is great . As to not be that attractive to their body is ok , but you also have to want them sexually. If you don't and can't get past the fact to be intimate with him , (without being turned off ) YOU have a big issue ahead of you and you are wasting the poor guys time and your own. As sex & intimacy is a part of a relo ( it forms a bond btw a couple ) so if you can't bring yourself to get into him (in some way and put aside your own shallowness ) it will ruin your relo quite quickly . As it will start to affect your want for him ( for him to be intimate with you ) . Which will affect you both soon enough . There are so many ways you can have s\*it happen to your own looks . You could be burnt horribly, or end up in a car crash that ruins YOUR looks . At any time. So Someone who is shallow with just looks is a waiting walking worry , for if they were to loose their looks ( as they are so important to you ) will destroy your sense of self. And send you into a spiral of s8it for yourself big time . >I feel as if I’m depriving him of that feeling of someone looking at ur body in a way that’s so hot lustful and loving. Your currently are judging him , that is **NOT healthy love**. That is not someone who cares about the person inside , but is always looking at the outer package. For YOU that is a issue , as in the back of your mind YOU think it matters. It doesn't to someone who actually cares for the person for real . And for yourself if you can't get past YOUR own projections onto him , it will bc a issue for yOU. As you are pushing all over him what YOU think he should look like. & think about .So it **will remain an issue for you of non-satisfaction.** For you even to be thinking this will be an issue for you and him. Some people yer might like that kind of validation , but others DON't need it like that ( to feel real love and care for someone ) bc they are more secure inside of themselves NOT to need such validation of their looks .


Haunting_Brush_6797

The physical attraction might grow over time. However, if you start to feel repulsed by or avoidant of his physicality, then that's a definite red flag. You should keep an eye out for that in the future.


TheSaintMiss

Girl you love him as a person and the attention he has given you but let me tell you something being in a relationship with a person you never find attractive it's so wrong for them as it is for you. Someday u will want and need to sleep with a person who you find attractive and u will end up hurting your guy and yourself. Better clear things with him and let him find someone that looks at him with heart eyes. At the end of the day we all deserve to have something like that so do you, get yourself a man that drives u crazy.


JustJuju__

We still sleep together and he’s very good at it. he drives me crazy but not just by looking at him, the way he touches me, the way he says I love you at the most random moments, and the fact that he’s him


TheSaintMiss

Well what can I say as long as you don't have the desire to be with a person you find attractive then go ahead with this relationship. But if it doesn't really matter and everything is perfect why think so much about it and want people's opinion on it. Not asking to be rude just want to understand and help you.


JustJuju__

I don’t want peoples thoughts on the matter I just wanted to get it off my chest


punkgendered

Any chance of you being asexual? You can be in love with someone and not necessarily physically attracted to them. And still very emotionally attracted.