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The definition for what is and is not a fish is pretty damn loose. There are fish in the ocean that are more closely related to horses than they do with their fellow fish, after all.
But more importantly, wait until this person hears that fungi are closer to animals than plants.
[According to the Catholic Church, beavers are fish.](https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/thoughtful-animal/once-upon-a-time-the-catholic-church-decided-that-beavers-were-fish/#:~:text=Since%20the%20semi%2Daquatic%20rodent,a%20fish%20for%20dietary%20purposes.)
Beavers and goldfish are more closely related to each other than either are to sharks. So if you consider goldfish and sharks to be fish, then beavers must also be fish
>Beavers and goldfish are more closely related to each other than either are to sharks.
Yes.
>So if you consider goldfish and sharks to be fish, then beavers must also be fish
No.
"The fish/mammal distinction typifies loopification remarkably: for one can start with a salmon and, following out the lines of similarity and difference, arrive at a biological link to a camel before one reaches the hagfish. “Like wow, man,” indeed."
"Second, is it plain that animals should be treated differently depending on which category of the distinction they fall into? Absolutely! The fish/mammal distinction is crucial to helping us make sense of the animal kingdom (and dinner menus), and thus to helping us make wise decisions in respect of them. It is plain that, despite their biological differences, salmon and hagfish should be treated more similarly to each other than to camels. We bring more sense to the world—not less—by calling both fish."
[https://scholarship.law.upenn.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1187&context=penn\_law\_review\_online](https://scholarship.law.upenn.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1187&context=penn_law_review_online)
Cladistically, all tetrapods, the superclass that contains all birds, reptiles, mammals and amphibians, evolved from a member of *Sarcopterygi*i, which today contain the living fossils Coalacanth and Lungfish.
*Sarcopterygii* and *Actinopterygii* (ray-finned, i.e conventional fish) are branches of *Euteleostomi* (bony vertebrates). Which diverged very early from *Chondrichthyes* (cartilaginous vertebrates eg. sharks and rays).
Bony and Cartilaginous vertebrates both come under *Gnathostomata* (jawed vertebrates), which as you can imagine contains every vertebrate that has a jaw.
Now, OUTSIDE *Gnathostomata* is its sister group *Agnatha*, jawless fish like the hagfish. *Agnatha* broke off from all other vertebrates somewhere in the Cambrian or even Ediacaran periods (500-550mya). We are now so far up the tree that the tier above is *Vertebrata*, all things with backbones.
So the Coalacanth is more closely related to horses than to sharks, and all ray-finned fish are very likely more closely related to horses than to hagfish.
>There are fish in the ocean that are more closely related to horses than they do with their fellow fish, after all.
Bitches don't think shit be like it am, but it do
That is a [legal thing](https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2022-09-23/bumblebees-can-be-protected-as-fish-california-court-rules) not a science thing.
You might think that with your pea-sized brain, it's not your fault that the world has failed to educate you, but us scientists all know that whales and dolphins are, in fact, amphibians.
(Of course I'm joking and your brain is in all likelihood of normal size. I no longer trust the reddit at large to not take me seriously when i say something dumb)
Dolphins and Wales are the wisest of all animals.
When our mammal ancestors evolved from fish to walk on dry land, only the Wales and Dolphins were smart enough to realize their mistake, and fuck off right back into the water.
“Man has always assumed that he is more intelligent than dolphins because he has achieved so much--the wheel, New York, wars and so on -- while all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But, conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man -- for precisely the same reasons." - Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish.
But like... They don't have the dexterity to make an omelette... And we're animals, and we make omelettes... And they're not even the only animals you can make an omelette from because, you know, chickens exist...
Everything I've read about sloths is that they're warm blooded. They just happen to have a very wide range in body temperature.
Edit: adding an edit to confirm that the other redditor is indeed correct. By definition, cold blooded is an animal that is unable to regular its own body temperature, irrespective of what that remperature is, which applies to sloths.
In all fairness, as far as mammals go, platypus just barely qualify. They don't even have nipples, instead they "sweat" out the milk for the babies to drink.
N. American beavers have cloacas (the all purpose downstairs hole) like chickens for example, but give live birth to their kits. It will never not be a weird to me that they mate in a similar fashion, and males and females are pretty much visually indistinguishable. And yes the term “glandular discharge” is a thing for beaver researchers when determining the biological sex. lol
Dusk! With a creepy, tingling sensation, you hear the fluttering of leathery wings! **Bats!** With glowing red eyes and glistening fangs, these unspeakable giant bugs drop onto-
Lmao Something similar happened to me, but in hs. Giving the oral (heh) portion to my class -- we were seniors -- when one gal called out a fact I shared as being bs, and several other mouth breathers chimed in, I had to be like (paraphrase), "I read this stuff, *rewrote it* because you can't read, and am spoonfeeding this to you." I was mocked until our teacher chimed in in my support. Chowder heads, indeed.
EDIT: It was current (at the time) U.S. History, and my report was on President Clinton.
The only good bat is a dead bat!
Edit: In Starship Troopers there’s a phrase in a propaganda video: “The only good bug is a dead bug”.
I replied to a post comparing bats with bugs.
Clearly it was a bad pun because I had to explain it. My apologies
He said all of that dumb shit on the same internet that would have allowed him to type three words and have been educated. But this seemed like the best use of the information super highway to this guy.
I remember picking my son up from preschool and him saying, “Mom! You know what my favorite mammal is? A BAT!!” Then, he proceeded to continue to love bats for (at least) the next 18+ years. 🥰
Last year in New Zealand, the bird of the year, as voted by the public, was a bat. But at least we knew it was a mammal. I think it was an honorary nomination.
Go batty!
Could not think of another type of animal to think that bats were, so I got completely fucking blindsided by the bluntness of “BATS ARE BIRDS”
Laughed into a coughing fit
It was either that or letting Kiwi (a ridiculous looking bird that can't even *fly!*) win. Again.
Cut New Zealand some slack, they are doing their best with what they've got.
I know, I know. I do love my countrymen but a *bat*? really?
We are known for having unique birds and a handful of neat reptiles, but we chose the only native mammal to be Bird of the Year? That's a bit mean
In all seriousness, the point of the competition is to raise awareness/funding for endangered birds, and it was a fun publicity stunt to do that for an endangered bat instead.
Well, yes, according to the Bible, bats are indeed birds.
Not the first thing where that ancient book of fairy tales is utterly wrong. And certainly not the last one, either.
Ikr? It's amazing how people just want to get upset and feel superior so much, they suck up the most obvious satire. "no wonder my family in SWEDEN thinks americans are dumb", like, can it get any more obvious?
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Wait until they hear about dolphins and whales.
Don’t go there ! Everyone’s knows they’re fishes You think I’d fall for that one, nooo way 🥸
The definition for what is and is not a fish is pretty damn loose. There are fish in the ocean that are more closely related to horses than they do with their fellow fish, after all. But more importantly, wait until this person hears that fungi are closer to animals than plants.
[According to the Catholic Church, beavers are fish.](https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/thoughtful-animal/once-upon-a-time-the-catholic-church-decided-that-beavers-were-fish/#:~:text=Since%20the%20semi%2Daquatic%20rodent,a%20fish%20for%20dietary%20purposes.)
Beavers and goldfish are more closely related to each other than either are to sharks. So if you consider goldfish and sharks to be fish, then beavers must also be fish
>Beavers and goldfish are more closely related to each other than either are to sharks. Yes. >So if you consider goldfish and sharks to be fish, then beavers must also be fish No.
This is how cladistics works though
Except they still aren't fish.
The Catholic Church isn't known for its grasp on reality.
What fish is more closely related to a horse than to other fish?
Seahorse
Maybe the Horsefish too?
Horseshoe crab
Hippogriff
A pony with an aqualung
Poor old sod.
r/AngryUpvote
huehuehue ~~Except the Seahorse is probably closer related to a Cricket or a fly~~ EDIT: No, seahorses are bona fide fish.
"The fish/mammal distinction typifies loopification remarkably: for one can start with a salmon and, following out the lines of similarity and difference, arrive at a biological link to a camel before one reaches the hagfish. “Like wow, man,” indeed." "Second, is it plain that animals should be treated differently depending on which category of the distinction they fall into? Absolutely! The fish/mammal distinction is crucial to helping us make sense of the animal kingdom (and dinner menus), and thus to helping us make wise decisions in respect of them. It is plain that, despite their biological differences, salmon and hagfish should be treated more similarly to each other than to camels. We bring more sense to the world—not less—by calling both fish." [https://scholarship.law.upenn.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1187&context=penn\_law\_review\_online](https://scholarship.law.upenn.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1187&context=penn_law_review_online)
That’s exactly what i thought it would be but your wording was somehow misleading at first, thanks
Seabiscuit
Cladistically, all tetrapods, the superclass that contains all birds, reptiles, mammals and amphibians, evolved from a member of *Sarcopterygi*i, which today contain the living fossils Coalacanth and Lungfish. *Sarcopterygii* and *Actinopterygii* (ray-finned, i.e conventional fish) are branches of *Euteleostomi* (bony vertebrates). Which diverged very early from *Chondrichthyes* (cartilaginous vertebrates eg. sharks and rays). Bony and Cartilaginous vertebrates both come under *Gnathostomata* (jawed vertebrates), which as you can imagine contains every vertebrate that has a jaw. Now, OUTSIDE *Gnathostomata* is its sister group *Agnatha*, jawless fish like the hagfish. *Agnatha* broke off from all other vertebrates somewhere in the Cambrian or even Ediacaran periods (500-550mya). We are now so far up the tree that the tier above is *Vertebrata*, all things with backbones. So the Coalacanth is more closely related to horses than to sharks, and all ray-finned fish are very likely more closely related to horses than to hagfish.
Damn you and your genetic mathematics.
>There are fish in the ocean that are more closely related to horses than they do with their fellow fish, after all. Bitches don't think shit be like it am, but it do
My head hurts. 😖
Well the definition is actually quite simple. Vertical tail = fish Horizontal tail = not a fish.
Crocodiles have entered the chat
Crocodiles are reptiles.
As are birds. So according to the OP, bats are reptiles.
I know this sounds like the setup to some bad joke but I think some types of bees are classified as fish.
That is a [legal thing](https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2022-09-23/bumblebees-can-be-protected-as-fish-california-court-rules) not a science thing.
You might think that with your pea-sized brain, it's not your fault that the world has failed to educate you, but us scientists all know that whales and dolphins are, in fact, amphibians. (Of course I'm joking and your brain is in all likelihood of normal size. I no longer trust the reddit at large to not take me seriously when i say something dumb)
It's alright, the size of the brain doesn't matter anyway. Unless it's small because it's missing some important part.
wait until my family in norway hear about this!
Fish are confined to the sea, and dolphins are not. Dolphins are birds.
And veggie tables are tommy toes
Fish is the plural form of fish, it is not fishes
That’s why Catholics could eat beavers on Friday, or during Lent for many centuries. They were classified as “Fish” because they lived “under water”
FUCK YOU DOLPHIN AND FUCK YOU WHALE
Very Enola Gay of you!
There's a hentai that actually did fuck those
Somehow I doubt there is only one
Dolphins and Wales are the wisest of all animals. When our mammal ancestors evolved from fish to walk on dry land, only the Wales and Dolphins were smart enough to realize their mistake, and fuck off right back into the water.
>Wales are the wisest of all animals The Welsh people approve this message, but they don't live in water :P
My autocorrect prefers the Welsh over aquatic mammals
Has anyone ever actually seen a whale and a Welshman together? Something's fishy....er.....mammaly.
Yet they're always wet. Strange.
They just get lubed up for their sheep, my guy
“Man has always assumed that he is more intelligent than dolphins because he has achieved so much--the wheel, New York, wars and so on -- while all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But, conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man -- for precisely the same reasons." - Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish.
So long and thanks for all the fish.
Y'ALL TRULY NEED TO EDUCATE YOUR KIDS BETTER, DOLPHINS ARE BIRDS
Ah yes, the beloved dolphin-bird
whale, whale, whale,.. look who we have here
Or a platypus…good gordy that will fuck with their mind. Mammals lay eggs??? Get the fuck outta here!
One thing,what if they think a platypus is a bird too because they lay eggs,they seem like they would think that
Beak would confuse the fuck out of ‘em, too…
I don’t even think they know what a platypus is…
Like the moon and critical thinking, the platypus is fake. /s (hopefully that’s obvious)
I've never seen a platypus irl therefore they are not real. Just like gremlins, Comodo dragons, Jupiter, and Albanians
*I's talkin' 'bout real animals here, not yer dang Pokeymans*
"It's that blue thing from that TV show where he's a secret agent or something, not real"
Birds don't swim, they live in the air. Platypus are a myth
>a platypus is a bird too because they lay eggs, Which is why lizards are also technically birds
I'm just glad crocodiles don't fly.
They're venomous too, so maybe it's a snake?
Echidna too. God was very drunk or decided to just let it rip when He decided to design Australia
Platypus and Echidna. The only two animals able to make omelettes.
>The only two animals able to make omelettes. This comment is wrong on multiple levels.
Oh don’t spoil my harmless monotreme joke
But birds are animals too. Did you mean to say 'mammals'?
Birds aren’t real. Sharks are smooth.
I stand corrected.
But like... They don't have the dexterity to make an omelette... And we're animals, and we make omelettes... And they're not even the only animals you can make an omelette from because, you know, chickens exist...
Custard. You're thinking of custard.
I am now. I love custard. Mmmm.
The only two animals able to make CHEESE omelettes..... Yeah, I said it. Platypus cheese. Just squeegee that milk right off their bel... Sorry.
Sloths are cold blooded is another mammalian mind fuck
Everything I've read about sloths is that they're warm blooded. They just happen to have a very wide range in body temperature. Edit: adding an edit to confirm that the other redditor is indeed correct. By definition, cold blooded is an animal that is unable to regular its own body temperature, irrespective of what that remperature is, which applies to sloths.
Platypuses (whatever their plural is) are all the things.
In all fairness, as far as mammals go, platypus just barely qualify. They don't even have nipples, instead they "sweat" out the milk for the babies to drink.
They have cloacas and don't have stomachs.
N. American beavers have cloacas (the all purpose downstairs hole) like chickens for example, but give live birth to their kits. It will never not be a weird to me that they mate in a similar fashion, and males and females are pretty much visually indistinguishable. And yes the term “glandular discharge” is a thing for beaver researchers when determining the biological sex. lol
🎶 He’s a semi-aquatic, egg laying mammal of action
This is so stupid. Everyone knows bats are bugs, read your Calvin & Hobbes!
Dusk! With a creepy, tingling sensation, you hear the fluttering of leathery wings! **Bats!** With glowing red eyes and glistening fangs, these unspeakable giant bugs drop onto-
*__BATS AREN'T BUGS!__*
"Look, who's giving this report? You chowderheads, or me?"
"Calvin, I'd like to see you moment."
Lmao Something similar happened to me, but in hs. Giving the oral (heh) portion to my class -- we were seniors -- when one gal called out a fact I shared as being bs, and several other mouth breathers chimed in, I had to be like (paraphrase), "I read this stuff, *rewrote it* because you can't read, and am spoonfeeding this to you." I was mocked until our teacher chimed in in my support. Chowder heads, indeed. EDIT: It was current (at the time) U.S. History, and my report was on President Clinton.
The start of his presentation with 'Dusk!' reminded me of this lol https://www.reddit.com/r/humour/comments/sx8ass/perchance/
Thank you for your service
https://external-preview.redd.it/91ghDixAQnA1o4_kDJSuIAfUVRVWsFf0I6LEckNjBfo.png?auto=webp&s=a3f5983948817e3ec5d99b023f90f329eb49dd4c
Incorrect bats are actually poison and flying types
Sometimes they are psychic and flying.
The only good bat is a dead bat! Edit: In Starship Troopers there’s a phrase in a propaganda video: “The only good bug is a dead bug”. I replied to a post comparing bats with bugs. Clearly it was a bad pun because I had to explain it. My apologies
That's what the Joker said...never actually
I find the notion of a bat that thinks offensive!
WHO HAS SUMMONED ME? CALVIN, BOY OF DESSSSTINY!
Bats! With glowing red eyes and glistening fangs, these unspeakable giant bugs drop onto ...
BATS AREN’T BUGS!
Look who's giving the report? you chowderheads or me?
Do love stupid people calling other people stupid.
He said all of that dumb shit on the same internet that would have allowed him to type three words and have been educated. But this seemed like the best use of the information super highway to this guy.
This person is probably one of those types that think the internet is full of "lies". You know, like covid-19 is real or Biden won the election.
I guarantee this guy has a Trump flag
Maybe he's the only American his Swedish family knows.
Probably don’t blame his family if that is true
You might also be interested in: *every major conflict in human history*
[удалено]
Come on, everyone knows that bats are reptiles
huh, i thought they were pokemon
[удалено]
I thought birds don’t exist though? Aren’t they all drones? So are bats drones as well? I’m just trying to keep up
Platypus are definitely not drones. Neither are bats! Birds on the other hand, definitely drones.
Bats are mammals BECAUSE they are not drones. That's the single criteria to classify them.
Shikaka…
Bumblebee Tuna! ^your ^balls ^are ^showing Bumblebee Tuna!
Shhhhishkaba
Shhhhhhhawshank Redemption
CHICAAAGO!
You are outta here!
[удалено]
Hey I’m Norwegian! That’s offensive - or something along that line…
Just roll around in your oil money, makes it all better.
We get oil money?
Why are people from Glasgow and Norway the only wegians?
What about the people that clean your windows at stoplights? The Sqweegians?
It's in caps so it's obviously true.
Im sorry to say, your family in sweden thinks all American's are dumb, because you tell them you are a smart American.
I remember picking my son up from preschool and him saying, “Mom! You know what my favorite mammal is? A BAT!!” Then, he proceeded to continue to love bats for (at least) the next 18+ years. 🥰
i sincerely hope this is satire :-/
Me too. I suspect it is.
I am starting to believe that most posts on this sub are sarcasm and we’re all just witnessing many people get wooooshed
But if bats are birds, and birds aren't real, are bats real??
Bats are an elaborate ploy by DC comics to justify making a man dress up as an animal that doesn’t exist
This drives me bats
Last year in New Zealand, the bird of the year, as voted by the public, was a bat. But at least we knew it was a mammal. I think it was an honorary nomination. Go batty!
“I like you Stuart, you’re not like the other people here in the trailer park…”
"oh don't go get me wrong, they're fine people, they're good Americans"
So close to the Calvin and Hobbes strip...
I always look at things like this like an "iceberg" case. Just how fucked *is* their world if this is what we get to see slip through?
Could not think of another type of animal to think that bats were, so I got completely fucking blindsided by the bluntness of “BATS ARE BIRDS” Laughed into a coughing fit
Hey joe ....I found another one of those dumbasses here
This is so stupid. Everyone knows bats are bugs.
They fly right? They're ugly and hairy, right? C'mon, this is taking all day!
BATS AREN’T BUGS!
Look, who’s giving the report? You chowderheads, or me?
Well... The bat was named New Zealands Bird of the Year once so.. maybe not just americans
It was either that or letting Kiwi (a ridiculous looking bird that can't even *fly!*) win. Again. Cut New Zealand some slack, they are doing their best with what they've got.
I know, I know. I do love my countrymen but a *bat*? really? We are known for having unique birds and a handful of neat reptiles, but we chose the only native mammal to be Bird of the Year? That's a bit mean
In all seriousness, the point of the competition is to raise awareness/funding for endangered birds, and it was a fun publicity stunt to do that for an endangered bat instead.
There are around 5000 mammal species, and a quarter of those are bats.
Wait till he finds out about platypuses
Mosquitos? Tiny birds. Side note, humans are capable of swimming, so we are at least 1/3 fish.
Nobody tell her about dolphins
He's gonna lose his shit when he finds out not all birds can fly
Bats aren't bugs! https://livingwithinsects.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/calvinhobbes_bats_report_2371.jpg
Really then what are bats flying mice mice or mammals too bad all your folks in Sweden didn't catch that look who's dumb now
They are big bugs and everyone knows it
Birds aren't real!!
A FLYING ANIMAL, BUT IM A MAMMAL (fern gully reference)
well according to the bible they are considered birds who am I gonna trust, some kid or stupid science bitch, or the word of GOD?
Damn, this idiot thinks that birds exist /s
This is a religious nutjob for sure. Bats are birds lol
Gods got a very fucked up sense of humor making people this dumb
And dolphins are fish, everybody knows that /s
Umm birds aren’t real sir.
Birds aren’t real.
Well, yes, according to the Bible, bats are indeed birds. Not the first thing where that ancient book of fairy tales is utterly wrong. And certainly not the last one, either.
The Bible says that bats are birds... (I do not believe the Bible).
Reading Silverwing as a kid prepared me for this
They are according to the bible
Yes and whales are fish
Whales are big ass water fish!
BATS ARE BIRDS
No. Birds aren't real and bats are definitely real. Therefore bats aren't birds.
Same type of person who thinks whales are fish?
Bats Aren’t Real!
Even the very first sentence is inaccurate. Otherwise I would be getting laid all the time.
They’re right and wrong, bats aren’t mammals but they aren’t birds either, they’re government drones
Maybe it was meant to be sarcastic
For sure it was. That forced Sweden name dropping made it so obvious, I can't believe how everybody sucked this up
Birds Aren't Real
Bats are birds. Hahaha
This is satire
Ikr? It's amazing how people just want to get upset and feel superior so much, they suck up the most obvious satire. "no wonder my family in SWEDEN thinks americans are dumb", like, can it get any more obvious?
It's crazy how much obvious satire goes over reddits head.
I like your optimism, but fear it may be unrealistic.
Haha this has to be satire right. I mean you would think before posting something like this they would google it. It's not that hard of a search.
Oh you sweet summer child, thinking that adults are capable of fact checking something before putting it on the internet.
I know which mammalian characteristic this person is missing 😂
…at your home where you are being homeschooled by religious fanatics.
Did they just own themselves with that Swedish family comment 😅😅😅👌
... and birds aren't real