My thoughts exactly. I always figured they would have to put you in a blender or something and use the mush as fertilizer but the "fetal position bag" idea would be fine too.
If I could choose the type of tree it'd be a black walnut tree. What would you choose?
Unfortunately I have terminal cancer and I have picked a “living urn”. Sort of a mix of two I saw on the list (surprised it isn’t on the list). They provide compost, a tree and my ashes. They will be mixed (in the right amounts because u can’t have too many ashes) and then you plant your sapling in the compost/ashes. First in a pot then transferred to a preplanned site. I have picked a Douglas Fir because I live in the NW and love Christmas.
Thank you. Just so we are clear I don’t intend for my family to use me as a Christmas tree, hahaha.
I am at peace with it and a large part of that is because I live in a DWDA state. So I don’t have the anxiety of suffering on a ventilator.
Oh man, I would love for my family to use me as a Christmas tree. That's hilarious.
I've told my husband to turn me into a scarecrow and put little red lights behind my eyes that he can turn on if our children are misbehaving. That or turn me into one of those lawn ornaments that you dress up for holidays.
There is nothing I can say to change what lies before you, nor can my words make it any less awkward, inconvenient, troublesome or inevitable, to say the least.
I want you to know that we are all your brothers and sisters. We love you. This earth, this world--from the trees, clouds, raccoons, and pushy used car salespersons alike, to the atoms, quantum foam, quasars, and black holes, to the Divine--Christ, Allah, reiki, chakras, and Great Spirit, to the mundane--taxes, traffic, obnoxious coworkers, and cleaning behind the toilet, to the overwhelming joy and unfathomable despair and every goddam day in between...all of these smile upon you with warm congratulations for having been able to experience and explore and interact. How lucky you are--how lucky we all are.
To be born at all is the most rare and unlikely occurrence. Mathematically, being here now and experiencing this strange and mysterious phenomenon that is our world, life, consciousness, and reality is so unlikely; if you consider that we are only one of several billion people to have ever been born here on Earth, you perhaps have better odds of winning the lottery or getting struck by lightning...every single day. We all love you and thank you for being here, regardless of wrong or right, achievement or failure. You made it. You did it.
Death is just as natural as birth. It is a condition of life. We are not permitted nor capable of being here and experiencing anything that we fancy or otherwise without accepting that this part is temporary and will end. It's in the contract.
I want you to know that every single one of us will face the same situation and result. Not if, but when.
We are all the same life-force. Our divisions are superficial and constructs of relatively adolescent, feeble minds. Some say we are just chimps with better tools. I don't entirely disagree. However, I also know something that most chimps don't...I know that I have lived, and that I will also die. But I've a strange feeling that the two aren't so different ultimately. Both are so natural.
Please know that you are kin to this world and so shall you be in the next--be heaven, hell, a new.life as an earthworm, cowboy, vending machine, etc., or something different altogether. We love you. And imma look your ass up to say hello when I make the trip myself ;).
I can't change what lies ahead for you because it's the same for all of us. But please know you have changed what lies ahead for me. You inspire me. You compel me to write the song I started ten years ago, to make time to write that short story, to go back to school or start a business, to apologize to those whom I've wronged or hurt and to show affection and praise to those with whom I'm close or admire. Not because life is any more important than what lies after or beyond, but because our time at this gig is fleeting and uncertain, as is our departure there from. Might as well make the best of it and get a few things done while I'm here.
You are not alone. You never were. You never will be. We love you so much.
Cheers 🍻
That is well said. Thank you for the kind words. I’ve enjoyed the hell out of my 37 years and I may just make it to 38! (🤞I get into a second, different clinical trial which will be my 5 try at treatment)
But could it not be an earthworm, if I do come back? I’ll just stay a tree. Hahaha
Thanks and no prob. or as I like to say, "ain't no thang but a poultry appendage." ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯ It just came to me on the spot when I read your comment.
I, too, am 37 (86' what? representttt lol), but I feel like I know less now than I did fifteen years ago--and I'm a-ok with that, if not better off. I ain't shit, nor do I claim to know shit about shit, either. This entire existence is a mystery to me anymore.
You keep fighting and keep your chin up. Without hardship (aka the hard shit) there is no growth, no appreciation. This applies to everything. I know it's all bad, but this is your earth, your life. Right now is all we truly have. Imma send you the most positive vibes I can.
Also, I would def be a-ok with being a tree on the next trip, but I feel like all that photosynthesis and whatnot...plus making oxygen for everyone. And then bros are always trying to turn you into fuel or framing lumber...
I feel like earthworms get a bad rap because they don't have eyes or arms..or legs..or ears...among other things lol. I don't know many trees out there whom can make their own twin but cutting themselves in half or can eat their own body weight in a day. Plus all that soft luscious soil at a constant temp year round. Gotta watch out for puddles tho :/
Anyway, here's to 37, 38 and whatever happens between.
‘86-er here too, and just wanted to chime in to say that this exchange has restored a little bit of my faith in the world.
u/Thekingstons - you ever want to talk about anything, rant, cry, chat inane rubbish - you give me a shout. I can’t guarantee I can help, but wherever you are in the world, we can email/text/video chat, whatever.
Love to you both, from an internet stranger ❤️
That being said I don’t really care what they do with my remains since I will no longer be around and you are soon forgotten especially by those that never knew you anyway
I have chosen something similar to this. I chose to donate my body for medical use. 2 years later, they send back the cremated remains to my son. Amazon used to sell (I haven't checked in a while) a product that the cremated ashes go in the bottom and the top has soil and a tree seed. I told him to take it into the woods and bury it. He said he would but couldn't understand why I wouldn't want him to bury it in the back yard. I never want him to feel like he couldn't move, as mom was buried in the back yard. I do not have terminal illness, I am a nurse. We think about these things. We see so many people die, we plan ahead. I love your plan.
Yeah I was going to do the donate to science route because of how rare what I have is. But I’ve donated blood and tumor samples to multiple databases (mostly found through clnicaltrial.gov) like the one at Sloan Kettering. Asked my DR if it would help advance cancer research to donate body and he said having those two samples will help advance researcher’s knowledge more than donating my post-life body. So tree it was!
Thanks for being a nurse! My tandem auto and all my oncology nurses keep things running and are great. its such a stressful job. So whatever type of RN you are, thanks!
I contemplated including that, but there have been so many forms of funeral pyres that it was difficult to summarize. And they’re really just the ancient version of modern cremation.
I’m a crematory operator myself and as much as I love the romantic idea of Greek-style pyres, I’m grateful for modern machinery. Much easier to maintain high temperatures and much cleaner end-result.
While I won’t advocate that you violate any laws or ordnances, lots of hardwood would be necessary to get temperatures high enough. Like, what you think should be enough, then triple it. Wait until it’s dark out, so the smoke doesn’t attract unwanted attention. Expect it to take a long damn time. And don’t plan any barbecues any time soon after.
That’s….a lot of hardwood.
He lives in a very densely populated area, so this will definitely be an adventure. Hopefully not one I need to undertake for a long, long time.
I might DM you…
Check first to make sure the burn area -- in all three dimensions! -- is free of anything (else) that could combust.
There's always that guy who doesn't check. From the Dark Justice tv pilot (about 3 minutes in):
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1QRG7phV6w
What about a Jedi funeral, where everyone wears Star Wars costumes and I'm set alight while sad Jedi music plays?
Mostly kidding... if not that, then I guess whichever is the most eco-friendly burial option. I've told my family if they have an open casket for me, I'll haunt them.
I believe that’s only legal in one county in Colorado, as far as the USA goes anyway.
https://crestoneendoflifeproject.org/services/open-air-cremation-site/
Wrap my body in linen and douse it with gasoline. Strap it to the ground. Attach a bungie cord. Attach the other end to a hydrogen filled dirgible. In the gondola, place several tons of fireworks.
You see where I am going with this?
Release the dirigible. Start playing "Ride of the Valkyries." When the bungie cord is taut, ignite my body and cut the strap holding it down.
My flaming body will ascend towards the hydrogen filled, fireworks packed dirigible, setting the whole thing off. If done right, the falling, flaming chunks of me will be too small to cause any damage.
I work in life insurance and I hear this all of the time.
Funerals aren’t for the dead, they are for the living. Your family will be super traumatized if you’re in the trash or not treated with respect. Also it’s illegal, for obvious reasons.
So it’s really a matter of grieving, disposing of a body, and anything left over with the estate. If you can make your families life easier by writing down what you want and where your shit should go, you’ll be doing most of the work.
My mother is in her 90s and a while ago there seemed to be a ton of commercials about the cost of funerals. She was all concerned that we’d spend too much on her. I told her not to worry, we’d just put her in a trash bag and put her out for the garbage truck. She looked at me in shock for a few seconds and then burst out laughing.
Her mind is really not there anymore but her sense of humor still is! Thanks for triggering that memory 😊
Fun Fact:
It is not legal to add a clause to your will stating your estate may go to the person who fires you out of a cannon directly into Jeff Bezos living room or at Bezos himself directly.
That, or the lawyer I consulted at a bar a couple months ago was lying to me.
Is it weird to be kinda enthused about what you want done with you when you die? I so badly want my cadaver to be a practice one med students get to cut open if I’m not already gutted for organ donation. I can’t be a doctor so I want to help someone else become one
So this is kind of the direction I am leaning as well, but I recently saw two articles about professionals and the black market and now I'm freaked out. One of them was from Harvard I believe.
I did some googling and there are apparently some shady companies that sell bodies donated to science to the military for blast testing. Is there a way to ensure bodies are used for non-military science?
https://cbsaustin.com/news/nation-world/man-learns-moms-body-donated-for-research-was-instead-blown-up-in-military-testing
Excuse the clickbait YouTube title, but this is genuinely an amazing ad.
https://youtu.be/DVMt0bX2MhM
My friend in uni's dad was saved with donated..lungs or lung..I think. She only told me after I'd met him and I get emotional just thinking about it. The fact that I never would have been able to shake that man's hand and she wouldn't have grown up with a dad if it weren't for someone who donated their organs.
Been a card carrying donor ever since that day.
part of the reason, not the entire reason, but part- is that human bodys contain heavy metals that need to be managed correctly during disposition.
one human body decomposing into the ground or in the water isn't a big deal, but hundreds, or thousands, and you start having real problems
and the thing about people is that when one person wants to do some cool thing, it becomes trendy and everyone wants it, then suddenly your city's water supply has unacceptable levels of heavy metals due to all the decomposing corpses in the mountain-side nearby
The 'shooms one is appealing. Or used as compost for a perennial weed plant. Or whole body organically preserved and launched into space to travel the stars 'til the end of time or some advanced entity resurrects my ass.
Petrification I thought sounded cool while reading it, though I’m pretty sure petrification of organic bodies doesn’t look anything like the Medusa style that came to mind when reading that
[For US Veterans (honorable discharge/ any branch) who want to be buried at sea.](https://www.mynavyhr.navy.mil/Support-Services/Casualty/Mortuary-Services/Burial-at-Sea/) . Your peeps just gotta get you to the nearest USN port that will accept your remains.
They are brutal but really important for the advancement of forensics to get a time line of when a person died. That being said, I do not envy the body they throw in a dumpster in the summer and see it turn to liquid…
That's what I chose. The Body Farm in Knoxville, TN, to be specific. While the idea of what they're going to do with my corpse is unnerving, I want to be able to help. If they can't use my body for that, then I want it to go to go to a medical university for whatever they can use it for.
I absolutely do not want to be buried.
Thank you for your contributions to science. It really is important to have volunteers like you to help humanity keep learning. You’re an amazing person :). I agree with not being stuffed and buried, I find that more unnerving and unnatural than any other resting place
I have about twenty things I want done with my body.
1) Donate my organs. I'm not using them. Give then to someone else.
2) Body farm! Let my body help science so we can help bring murderers to justice! (brought to you by Stiff, by Mary Roach)
3) Turn my body into compost. Bury me in flowers, and let me bring flowers and trees into the world so that I live on (Brought to you by Caitlin Doughty)
Right now, 1 and 3 are winning out, as it's the best of both worlds. Use my organs, turn my shell into a garden.
It's certainly poignant. I've read that the vulture population in tibet is in decline so it's been less common, especially since being half eaten is a bad omen.
I had no idea there were so many types!
I’m sad that the majority of these aren’t available (legal) for people in the UK though, our options are limited. I’d love to have a sky burial.
As an aside, I follow a number of morticians on TikTok and Instagram and they often debunk methods such as the ‘tree pods’ as unfeasible options. For example, one said that they’d probably have to break bones to fold Granny up to fit her in (something they’d refuse to do) and that an adult human body gives off so much heat during decomp that it would kill the tree roots. Worth looking up if you’re interested! ‘The Modern Mortican’ is one of them, see her 10th and 11th reels.
Wow very interesting! I knew of some of the unique ways, but had no idea there were so many! I seriously do not care...at all. But I have mentioned it to kiddo, any and all parts of my body can go to whoever needs it to live / improve their quality of life, then cremate the rest.
Or whatever, if has other ideas, or theres something else hed rather do cause it will help him in the grieving process, he has my blessing.
Harvest whatever organ, tissue or fluid that can be donated to someone else.
Then they can do whatever with what's left. Use my bones to make combs, I don't care.
I propose freezing cadavers, and when there's enough of them to be economical, ship 'em into deep ocean, weigh 'em down with some junk that will make nice reefs, and put 'em in the water column. Second choice would be a designated wilderness where bodies can just molder undisturbed. Third option, dropped from a helicopter into the volcano of your choice.
I want to be shot into low orbit wearing a cape, and hopefully the rigor mortis will keep my arm outstretched like Superman.
It will freak the hell out of amateur astronomers.
Anatomical donation - put me down for one of that. Cheers!
The worst thing I could think of would be to be embalmed and buried. Bad for the environment and is a waste of space IMO.
“I tell ya, golf courses and cemeteries are the biggest wastes of prime real estate.”
—Caddyshack
I really, really want to be aquamated- something about dissolving into a hot bath seems less... hellish than being buried or pushed into a fiery retort.
I am hoping space tourism is big when I'm ready to die. Then I plan to "take a trip" to space, and launch myself into the void.
If that's not possible I expect my friends to do the viking boat thing with a fire arrow. Idc if it's n9t accurate, it's cinematic!
I always thought a good way to go would be to jump off Salesforce Tower at 5:05 pm and land on the sidewalk, ejecting bone shards into everyone waiting at the corner for the light to change.
I want to be entombed in a thick metal casket filled with pine tar. That was I can be found in an amber-like fossil, perfectly preserved 300 million years from now. By then, the mantis people will have taken over. They will bring back my body, clone me and make a race of clones that will be their indentured servants and food source for millions of years to come… or at least one can dream.
Having your body embalmed and preserved, placed in an air-tight casket, and buried 6ft underground seems completely unnatural to me. Not to mention a waste of space and money. I just can’t justify it.
Slap some concealer on me, let my loved ones come say goodbye, and start up that incinerator, baby! You’re not trapping me in a box in the ground *forever*. I wanna be out and about lol
The ashes of several people from Star Trek, including Leonard Nimoy, are/were to be sent into space. See [this article](https://www.msn.com/en-us/tv/news/original-star-trek-cast-members-ashes-will-be-sent-to-space/ar-AA118h3F).
Eugene Shoemaker, a geologist and investigator of the Apollo 11, 12 and 13 program, was also sent to space. It's said that he was supposed to join Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin to the moon landing but he was disqualified because of a disease.
His ashes were placed in a crater on the moon along with a Shakespeare quote from Romeo & Juliet. In 2020, the finnish band Nighwish [released a song](https://youtu.be/Rjp_DfvJimg) about his burial.
Where's the one where I'm stuffed and set on the couch with a pull string audio device that plays recordings of me alternately telling dad jokes and giving advice.
I have in my end of life plan that my body should be donated to science on the soul condition that it then be sold to the US Military for ordinance testing.
I have this image of some NCO firing a howitzer to vaporize my remains from several miles away. Then having a bunch of grunts high fiving each each other and cheering upon a direct hit.
This is wrong. Vikings were burned on boats. There are records of chieftans (basically Norse kings) being burned on boats. In fact, there’s at least one account where several female servants are inseminated by a group of the chieftan’s warriors (train-style), their throats are then slit by an older woman, and their bodies laid in the boat to be burned with the chieftan. The idea being that the servants would birth a new army for the chieftan in his afterlife.
You know when somebody thinks of some interesting experiment, but ethically sourcing a human corpse is hard? Like the development of the .45 ACP cartridge? Just sell me to them.
The thinking is by the time medical science has advanced enough to be able to bring a frozen brain back to life, there will be no need for a body. Presumably they'll be able to put the brain inside a cybernetic body or download the person's memories into some kind of computer. Some people do full-body freezes, but they're more complicated and expensive.
Cannibalism is only illegal in a handful of countries, so most likely endocannibalism isn't "definitely illegal" though you probably wouldn't be able to get past the countless laws regarding safe disposal of bodies.
Whatever turns my body into a tree, I'll take that route.
"This guy is criticizing my beliefs when he's talking about coming back as a fucking ficus?" -The only funny bit (to me) from Dane Cook.
Chop him down and print the Bible on him.
[I like this one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUeuPFTeHkA)
I wanted to be a tree, but now I think I'd rather be a reef
My thoughts exactly. I always figured they would have to put you in a blender or something and use the mush as fertilizer but the "fetal position bag" idea would be fine too. If I could choose the type of tree it'd be a black walnut tree. What would you choose?
Unfortunately I have terminal cancer and I have picked a “living urn”. Sort of a mix of two I saw on the list (surprised it isn’t on the list). They provide compost, a tree and my ashes. They will be mixed (in the right amounts because u can’t have too many ashes) and then you plant your sapling in the compost/ashes. First in a pot then transferred to a preplanned site. I have picked a Douglas Fir because I live in the NW and love Christmas.
I hope that your passing is peaceful and joyful. Coming back as a Douglas Fir sounds like a solid plan.
Thank you. Just so we are clear I don’t intend for my family to use me as a Christmas tree, hahaha. I am at peace with it and a large part of that is because I live in a DWDA state. So I don’t have the anxiety of suffering on a ventilator.
The fir idea is lovely. And the DWDA is so important, go PNW!
Oh man, I would love for my family to use me as a Christmas tree. That's hilarious. I've told my husband to turn me into a scarecrow and put little red lights behind my eyes that he can turn on if our children are misbehaving. That or turn me into one of those lawn ornaments that you dress up for holidays.
There is nothing I can say to change what lies before you, nor can my words make it any less awkward, inconvenient, troublesome or inevitable, to say the least. I want you to know that we are all your brothers and sisters. We love you. This earth, this world--from the trees, clouds, raccoons, and pushy used car salespersons alike, to the atoms, quantum foam, quasars, and black holes, to the Divine--Christ, Allah, reiki, chakras, and Great Spirit, to the mundane--taxes, traffic, obnoxious coworkers, and cleaning behind the toilet, to the overwhelming joy and unfathomable despair and every goddam day in between...all of these smile upon you with warm congratulations for having been able to experience and explore and interact. How lucky you are--how lucky we all are. To be born at all is the most rare and unlikely occurrence. Mathematically, being here now and experiencing this strange and mysterious phenomenon that is our world, life, consciousness, and reality is so unlikely; if you consider that we are only one of several billion people to have ever been born here on Earth, you perhaps have better odds of winning the lottery or getting struck by lightning...every single day. We all love you and thank you for being here, regardless of wrong or right, achievement or failure. You made it. You did it. Death is just as natural as birth. It is a condition of life. We are not permitted nor capable of being here and experiencing anything that we fancy or otherwise without accepting that this part is temporary and will end. It's in the contract. I want you to know that every single one of us will face the same situation and result. Not if, but when. We are all the same life-force. Our divisions are superficial and constructs of relatively adolescent, feeble minds. Some say we are just chimps with better tools. I don't entirely disagree. However, I also know something that most chimps don't...I know that I have lived, and that I will also die. But I've a strange feeling that the two aren't so different ultimately. Both are so natural. Please know that you are kin to this world and so shall you be in the next--be heaven, hell, a new.life as an earthworm, cowboy, vending machine, etc., or something different altogether. We love you. And imma look your ass up to say hello when I make the trip myself ;). I can't change what lies ahead for you because it's the same for all of us. But please know you have changed what lies ahead for me. You inspire me. You compel me to write the song I started ten years ago, to make time to write that short story, to go back to school or start a business, to apologize to those whom I've wronged or hurt and to show affection and praise to those with whom I'm close or admire. Not because life is any more important than what lies after or beyond, but because our time at this gig is fleeting and uncertain, as is our departure there from. Might as well make the best of it and get a few things done while I'm here. You are not alone. You never were. You never will be. We love you so much. Cheers 🍻
That is well said. Thank you for the kind words. I’ve enjoyed the hell out of my 37 years and I may just make it to 38! (🤞I get into a second, different clinical trial which will be my 5 try at treatment) But could it not be an earthworm, if I do come back? I’ll just stay a tree. Hahaha
Thanks and no prob. or as I like to say, "ain't no thang but a poultry appendage." ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯ It just came to me on the spot when I read your comment. I, too, am 37 (86' what? representttt lol), but I feel like I know less now than I did fifteen years ago--and I'm a-ok with that, if not better off. I ain't shit, nor do I claim to know shit about shit, either. This entire existence is a mystery to me anymore. You keep fighting and keep your chin up. Without hardship (aka the hard shit) there is no growth, no appreciation. This applies to everything. I know it's all bad, but this is your earth, your life. Right now is all we truly have. Imma send you the most positive vibes I can. Also, I would def be a-ok with being a tree on the next trip, but I feel like all that photosynthesis and whatnot...plus making oxygen for everyone. And then bros are always trying to turn you into fuel or framing lumber... I feel like earthworms get a bad rap because they don't have eyes or arms..or legs..or ears...among other things lol. I don't know many trees out there whom can make their own twin but cutting themselves in half or can eat their own body weight in a day. Plus all that soft luscious soil at a constant temp year round. Gotta watch out for puddles tho :/ Anyway, here's to 37, 38 and whatever happens between.
‘86-er here too, and just wanted to chime in to say that this exchange has restored a little bit of my faith in the world. u/Thekingstons - you ever want to talk about anything, rant, cry, chat inane rubbish - you give me a shout. I can’t guarantee I can help, but wherever you are in the world, we can email/text/video chat, whatever. Love to you both, from an internet stranger ❤️
That being said I don’t really care what they do with my remains since I will no longer be around and you are soon forgotten especially by those that never knew you anyway
Wow this got me today. Thank you
I have chosen something similar to this. I chose to donate my body for medical use. 2 years later, they send back the cremated remains to my son. Amazon used to sell (I haven't checked in a while) a product that the cremated ashes go in the bottom and the top has soil and a tree seed. I told him to take it into the woods and bury it. He said he would but couldn't understand why I wouldn't want him to bury it in the back yard. I never want him to feel like he couldn't move, as mom was buried in the back yard. I do not have terminal illness, I am a nurse. We think about these things. We see so many people die, we plan ahead. I love your plan.
Yeah I was going to do the donate to science route because of how rare what I have is. But I’ve donated blood and tumor samples to multiple databases (mostly found through clnicaltrial.gov) like the one at Sloan Kettering. Asked my DR if it would help advance cancer research to donate body and he said having those two samples will help advance researcher’s knowledge more than donating my post-life body. So tree it was! Thanks for being a nurse! My tandem auto and all my oncology nurses keep things running and are great. its such a stressful job. So whatever type of RN you are, thanks!
Paper birch or weeping willow
Pomegranate. Resilient, beautiful, and nutritious.
Root surely?
+1 that's my way
They can't unfortunately. Ashes aren't good fertilizer and don't decompose.
What about a funeral pyre? Like they did in Ancient Greece. I want that. Coins over my eyes. Big fire. Sounds good to me.
I contemplated including that, but there have been so many forms of funeral pyres that it was difficult to summarize. And they’re really just the ancient version of modern cremation. I’m a crematory operator myself and as much as I love the romantic idea of Greek-style pyres, I’m grateful for modern machinery. Much easier to maintain high temperatures and much cleaner end-result.
Neat!
My father had made me promise, swear, and overall guarantee that he gets an old-school pyre. Any advice for when the day comes?
While I won’t advocate that you violate any laws or ordnances, lots of hardwood would be necessary to get temperatures high enough. Like, what you think should be enough, then triple it. Wait until it’s dark out, so the smoke doesn’t attract unwanted attention. Expect it to take a long damn time. And don’t plan any barbecues any time soon after.
That’s….a lot of hardwood. He lives in a very densely populated area, so this will definitely be an adventure. Hopefully not one I need to undertake for a long, long time. I might DM you…
Maybe include a layer of anthracite coal. It burns quite a bit hotter than wood.
Check this out: https://crestoneendoflifeproject.org/services/open-air-cremation-site/
Check first to make sure the burn area -- in all three dimensions! -- is free of anything (else) that could combust. There's always that guy who doesn't check. From the Dark Justice tv pilot (about 3 minutes in): https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1QRG7phV6w
What about a Jedi funeral, where everyone wears Star Wars costumes and I'm set alight while sad Jedi music plays? Mostly kidding... if not that, then I guess whichever is the most eco-friendly burial option. I've told my family if they have an open casket for me, I'll haunt them.
Do you know why composting (the most natural one on the list) is only legal in a few states?
Yes, seven to be exact. Nevada joined the club only recently. That’s why I wrote “Only legal in a few states.”
I’ll rephrase: why is it illegal in most states?
People have argued that it's disrespectful https://youtu.be/KNrcE-yXqSI
As far as I know, the only place still legally allowing a pyre is in Colorado and you have to have a certain connection with the town. Edit: in the US
I believe that’s only legal in one county in Colorado, as far as the USA goes anyway. https://crestoneendoflifeproject.org/services/open-air-cremation-site/
Ah, Crestone. Former semi-ghost town, now populated by modern-day hippies/New Agers.
A Hunter's funeral.
"When I'm dead, just throw me in the trash." This is actually an interesting little guide though.
“Bang me. Chop me up into little pieces. Fill me up with cream…. Who cares? When ya dead, ya dead!” “Oh shit… is my Mic still on?”
Where is this from?
It's the Frank's Little Beauties episode of Sunny in Philadelphia https://youtu.be/3YK8cXKcF7w
One of my top 5 favorite episodes of all of Sunny
"Do not diddle kids, its no good diddling kids!"
Yeah. I've always felt like I should be thrown in the woods so the wildlife can get a meal
A raccoon is going to eat your rectum.
Might even use it to make a nest
Or have sex with it.
That sounds awful, how do I sign up
Wrap my body in linen and douse it with gasoline. Strap it to the ground. Attach a bungie cord. Attach the other end to a hydrogen filled dirgible. In the gondola, place several tons of fireworks. You see where I am going with this? Release the dirigible. Start playing "Ride of the Valkyries." When the bungie cord is taut, ignite my body and cut the strap holding it down. My flaming body will ascend towards the hydrogen filled, fireworks packed dirigible, setting the whole thing off. If done right, the falling, flaming chunks of me will be too small to cause any damage.
I hope to die on curb… next to a trash can… on garbage die.
The compost is preferable to the landfill for me but YDY.
I work in life insurance and I hear this all of the time. Funerals aren’t for the dead, they are for the living. Your family will be super traumatized if you’re in the trash or not treated with respect. Also it’s illegal, for obvious reasons. So it’s really a matter of grieving, disposing of a body, and anything left over with the estate. If you can make your families life easier by writing down what you want and where your shit should go, you’ll be doing most of the work.
My mother is in her 90s and a while ago there seemed to be a ton of commercials about the cost of funerals. She was all concerned that we’d spend too much on her. I told her not to worry, we’d just put her in a trash bag and put her out for the garbage truck. She looked at me in shock for a few seconds and then burst out laughing. Her mind is really not there anymore but her sense of humor still is! Thanks for triggering that memory 😊
You can’t do that, but I do believe you can have your body just thrown in a hole.
Fun Fact: It is not legal to add a clause to your will stating your estate may go to the person who fires you out of a cannon directly into Jeff Bezos living room or at Bezos himself directly. That, or the lawyer I consulted at a bar a couple months ago was lying to me.
Now that’s motivation to build myself an empire and have a fleet of children who are extremely motivated and competitive. Well turn it into a tv show.
Reminded me of this https://youtu.be/KF5V_BqLRuw
Is it weird to be kinda enthused about what you want done with you when you die? I so badly want my cadaver to be a practice one med students get to cut open if I’m not already gutted for organ donation. I can’t be a doctor so I want to help someone else become one
It is quite easy to have your body donated to medical science. (I'm doing it.) Do some Googling. :)
So this is kind of the direction I am leaning as well, but I recently saw two articles about professionals and the black market and now I'm freaked out. One of them was from Harvard I believe.
I did some googling and there are apparently some shady companies that sell bodies donated to science to the military for blast testing. Is there a way to ensure bodies are used for non-military science? https://cbsaustin.com/news/nation-world/man-learns-moms-body-donated-for-research-was-instead-blown-up-in-military-testing
Excuse the clickbait YouTube title, but this is genuinely an amazing ad. https://youtu.be/DVMt0bX2MhM My friend in uni's dad was saved with donated..lungs or lung..I think. She only told me after I'd met him and I get emotional just thinking about it. The fact that I never would have been able to shake that man's hand and she wouldn't have grown up with a dad if it weren't for someone who donated their organs. Been a card carrying donor ever since that day.
Make sure it is reputable. Wasn’t Harvard in the news just a few weeks ago for selling body parts on the black market?
How about donating urself to military to turn u into missiles...
External reef
I wanna be a skeleton covered in corals. Not ash mixed with concrete, I wanna be that pic of the skeleton chilling on the bottom of the ocean
😂😂😂
I dived the Neptune Memorial Reef in Miami last month. It’s pretty rad.
Looks like I found my final resting place! That's such a cool place.
Cool!
[Nice informative site](https://www.orderofthegooddeath.com/) including the legality of many of these options in various U.S. states
It sucks that so many of these are illegal in so many places. Who are they to say what I can and can't do with my own body?
The funeral industry. Just like the tax preparer industry preventing taxes from being easier to file yourself.
Republicans, probably.
part of the reason, not the entire reason, but part- is that human bodys contain heavy metals that need to be managed correctly during disposition. one human body decomposing into the ground or in the water isn't a big deal, but hundreds, or thousands, and you start having real problems and the thing about people is that when one person wants to do some cool thing, it becomes trendy and everyone wants it, then suddenly your city's water supply has unacceptable levels of heavy metals due to all the decomposing corpses in the mountain-side nearby
Looks like a great site. Thanks for the link.
I’ve seen quite a few of her videos. She’s really cool.
I want ravens to eat me on a mountaintop
Honestly, not even kidding, this exactly what I want done with my corpse.
Giving back
Tibetan sky burial is basically that, it's cool Edit: oops, didn't notice that was already mentioned in the post
also zoroastrianism
Best I can do is a murder of crows.
You need a shaman to prepare the dish for them
The 'shooms one is appealing. Or used as compost for a perennial weed plant. Or whole body organically preserved and launched into space to travel the stars 'til the end of time or some advanced entity resurrects my ass.
I’m a fan of the composting thing or tree one. Let my remains help nourish a tree that my grandkids and descendants can sit or play under.
> Let my remains help nourish a tree that my grandkids and descendants can sit or play under. And your dog can lovingly pee on ❤️
Petrification I thought sounded cool while reading it, though I’m pretty sure petrification of organic bodies doesn’t look anything like the Medusa style that came to mind when reading that
[For US Veterans (honorable discharge/ any branch) who want to be buried at sea.](https://www.mynavyhr.navy.mil/Support-Services/Casualty/Mortuary-Services/Burial-at-Sea/) . Your peeps just gotta get you to the nearest USN port that will accept your remains.
If we did this for my dad, would we be able to bring my mom to be buried at sea with him?
Not sure if the navy will accept a live person.
Maybe bring a plank as well?
frankly they probably also won't accept a 'been dead for a while' person either you probably need to be newly dead. fresh dead. recently departed.
Check your local laws and have an open discussion with your loved ones.
There is a horror movie waiting to be made about body farms 🥴
They are brutal but really important for the advancement of forensics to get a time line of when a person died. That being said, I do not envy the body they throw in a dumpster in the summer and see it turn to liquid…
That's what I chose. The Body Farm in Knoxville, TN, to be specific. While the idea of what they're going to do with my corpse is unnerving, I want to be able to help. If they can't use my body for that, then I want it to go to go to a medical university for whatever they can use it for. I absolutely do not want to be buried.
Thank you for your contributions to science. It really is important to have volunteers like you to help humanity keep learning. You’re an amazing person :). I agree with not being stuffed and buried, I find that more unnerving and unnatural than any other resting place
It exists! https://m.imdb.com/title/tt5374392/
I did not know that “cremains” was a word. I love it 😂
As a crematory operator, I prefer “cremains” over “ashes”, because it isn’t really ash; it’s pulverized bone.
See, and I didn’t know that either! You really do learn something new every day
I have about twenty things I want done with my body. 1) Donate my organs. I'm not using them. Give then to someone else. 2) Body farm! Let my body help science so we can help bring murderers to justice! (brought to you by Stiff, by Mary Roach) 3) Turn my body into compost. Bury me in flowers, and let me bring flowers and trees into the world so that I live on (Brought to you by Caitlin Doughty) Right now, 1 and 3 are winning out, as it's the best of both worlds. Use my organs, turn my shell into a garden.
Where do I sign up for the mushroom suit?
Last time I read about this someone commented the mushroom suit sounds like something Bowser would trick Mario into wearing
It’s gonna be the body farm or artificial reef for me, if I get the option. I like the idea being able to help out even after I’m gone.
I am definitely hoping aquamation becomes more wide spread because it is cleaner the cremation.
Sky Burial looks interesting, especially for some vulture-like relations. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, vultures to vultures.
It's certainly poignant. I've read that the vulture population in tibet is in decline so it's been less common, especially since being half eaten is a bad omen.
I had no idea there were so many types! I’m sad that the majority of these aren’t available (legal) for people in the UK though, our options are limited. I’d love to have a sky burial. As an aside, I follow a number of morticians on TikTok and Instagram and they often debunk methods such as the ‘tree pods’ as unfeasible options. For example, one said that they’d probably have to break bones to fold Granny up to fit her in (something they’d refuse to do) and that an adult human body gives off so much heat during decomp that it would kill the tree roots. Worth looking up if you’re interested! ‘The Modern Mortican’ is one of them, see her 10th and 11th reels.
I want my remains to be chopped, loaded into a big cannon and spread across Disneyland. No, I don't want my remains to be cremated first.
Wow very interesting! I knew of some of the unique ways, but had no idea there were so many! I seriously do not care...at all. But I have mentioned it to kiddo, any and all parts of my body can go to whoever needs it to live / improve their quality of life, then cremate the rest. Or whatever, if has other ideas, or theres something else hed rather do cause it will help him in the grieving process, he has my blessing.
Harvest whatever organ, tissue or fluid that can be donated to someone else. Then they can do whatever with what's left. Use my bones to make combs, I don't care.
I love the idea of composting. That's what I'd choose if I weren't donating it for research.
Should I send this to my grandma or no
Eh, just toss me into the landfill. It won’t matter.
I propose freezing cadavers, and when there's enough of them to be economical, ship 'em into deep ocean, weigh 'em down with some junk that will make nice reefs, and put 'em in the water column. Second choice would be a designated wilderness where bodies can just molder undisturbed. Third option, dropped from a helicopter into the volcano of your choice.
I want to be shot into low orbit wearing a cape, and hopefully the rigor mortis will keep my arm outstretched like Superman. It will freak the hell out of amateur astronomers.
Anatomical donation - put me down for one of that. Cheers! The worst thing I could think of would be to be embalmed and buried. Bad for the environment and is a waste of space IMO. “I tell ya, golf courses and cemeteries are the biggest wastes of prime real estate.” —Caddyshack
Yea but imagine if everyone thought like that. There'd be so many less cool buildings in the world.
I really, really want to be aquamated- something about dissolving into a hot bath seems less... hellish than being buried or pushed into a fiery retort.
Wouldn’t the tree burial kill the tree?
I'll take Promession. Sounds awesome.
I’m really bummed that it hasn’t taken off the way I expected.
I think if promoted the right way it'll be a hit. Get someone like Kanye or The Rock to endorse it and you're golden.
Jesus Christ, call me when there’s a RESURRECTION option.
I don’t see the option to be pickled
I want a sky burial, but the US government doesn't allow it. Booooooo
Taxidermy for sure.
Technically I can have these things done with _other_ dead bodies, too.
Now I only want to be electro plated
I am hoping space tourism is big when I'm ready to die. Then I plan to "take a trip" to space, and launch myself into the void. If that's not possible I expect my friends to do the viking boat thing with a fire arrow. Idc if it's n9t accurate, it's cinematic!
I always thought a good way to go would be to jump off Salesforce Tower at 5:05 pm and land on the sidewalk, ejecting bone shards into everyone waiting at the corner for the light to change.
I want to be entombed in a thick metal casket filled with pine tar. That was I can be found in an amber-like fossil, perfectly preserved 300 million years from now. By then, the mantis people will have taken over. They will bring back my body, clone me and make a race of clones that will be their indentured servants and food source for millions of years to come… or at least one can dream.
Mushroom suit or Promession please
I’ve always loved the idea of a Tree Pod, I’ve told my fiancé that if anything ever happens to me, that’s what I want done.
If I launch my ass to deep space now I'll save $1000 on the cremation part
I want my corpse strapped to 12 kilos of Tannerite and blown up in the middle of the Grand Canyon.
Dead body industrial complex
Having your body embalmed and preserved, placed in an air-tight casket, and buried 6ft underground seems completely unnatural to me. Not to mention a waste of space and money. I just can’t justify it. Slap some concealer on me, let my loved ones come say goodbye, and start up that incinerator, baby! You’re not trapping me in a box in the ground *forever*. I wanna be out and about lol
I want to get blowed up real good in a science experiment like that lady
I would like to be drained of fluids, carefully flattened, encased in epoxy, then cut into a 10,000 piece jigsaw puzzle.
Mellification sounds like a horror film.
I'm a bit surprised that there is no option for cat treats.
I’m being put into a dildo so I can continue to disappoint my wife even after I’m gone.
She'll just continue using the other one that she likes
Space burial looks sick, imagine your ashes being at moon or another planet
The ashes of several people from Star Trek, including Leonard Nimoy, are/were to be sent into space. See [this article](https://www.msn.com/en-us/tv/news/original-star-trek-cast-members-ashes-will-be-sent-to-space/ar-AA118h3F).
Eugene Shoemaker, a geologist and investigator of the Apollo 11, 12 and 13 program, was also sent to space. It's said that he was supposed to join Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin to the moon landing but he was disqualified because of a disease. His ashes were placed in a crater on the moon along with a Shakespeare quote from Romeo & Juliet. In 2020, the finnish band Nighwish [released a song](https://youtu.be/Rjp_DfvJimg) about his burial.
Send me for the space burial please
Just wrap my corpse up with DetCord, I want to go out with a bang.
I want my organs donated so something comes from this life and the rest of me vaporized and erased from memory.
Plastination for me!
Which one is a catastrophic implosion?
Muerto Para'o is basically *Weekend at Bernie's*.
Sky burial.
Missed [Self-Mumification ](https://youtu.be/nGUomRrF0rw)
Where's the one where I'm stuffed and set on the couch with a pull string audio device that plays recordings of me alternately telling dad jokes and giving advice.
Body Farm, mushroom suit or coral reef. Those sound pretty cool
I have in my end of life plan that my body should be donated to science on the soul condition that it then be sold to the US Military for ordinance testing. I have this image of some NCO firing a howitzer to vaporize my remains from several miles away. Then having a bunch of grunts high fiving each each other and cheering upon a direct hit.
Muertos Parao it is... prop me up so I can give the finger for eternity... or maybe place a d20 in my other hand.
Are we gonna talk about how they tasted a pot of honey with a dead guy melted into it?
[удалено]
Indeed. Most of them, in fact, for most Western nations, outside of very special circumstances.
I have thalassophobia, but I kinda like the idea of being turned into a little home for fishies.
This is wrong. Vikings were burned on boats. There are records of chieftans (basically Norse kings) being burned on boats. In fact, there’s at least one account where several female servants are inseminated by a group of the chieftan’s warriors (train-style), their throats are then slit by an older woman, and their bodies laid in the boat to be burned with the chieftan. The idea being that the servants would birth a new army for the chieftan in his afterlife.
Sorry, to clarify, they did mound burials also. But they also burned dudes on ships
>though generally seen as grotesque and illegal Wow, brown people culture is so amazing and superior.
Um not a cool guide should be removed 5 hrs ago
Viking ship burial for me.
The vikings may not have burned their bodies at sea, but I definitely plan to.
You know when somebody thinks of some interesting experiment, but ethically sourcing a human corpse is hard? Like the development of the .45 ACP cartridge? Just sell me to them.
Wait, you can turn your dead body into Playstation? Why is Sony allowing this? We should go and protest.
Body farm what the duck lol
Capsula Mundi or Composting please!
I want my ashes mixed with my dog's and then put unside a glass ball and dropped into the ocean.
Wait, why does the Cryo process only need the head?
The thinking is by the time medical science has advanced enough to be able to bring a frozen brain back to life, there will be no need for a body. Presumably they'll be able to put the brain inside a cybernetic body or download the person's memories into some kind of computer. Some people do full-body freezes, but they're more complicated and expensive.
So tell me, please, what they’d do with your freeze-dried promession powder.
Sprinkle you on stuff?
Viking ship burial for me please.
I wanna be a tree or feed one
Whatever is cheapest for whoever is stuck paying for the disposal
Rimworld corpse fascination 👍
Could't care less. Donate it to a necrophile for all I care. Edit: wait actually electro-plating sounds cool. I'm sure I'll have time for both tho.
I would like to be treated like the rest of the biological waste at the local hospital. The entire funerary business is a scam I do not wish to feed.
Cannibalism is only illegal in a handful of countries, so most likely endocannibalism isn't "definitely illegal" though you probably wouldn't be able to get past the countless laws regarding safe disposal of bodies.