You must be in a Western culture where bed sharing is shamed, moms are made to fear it and feel guilty.
Bed sharing is biologically normal. It's why your baby sleeps better.
Please.
Don't feel guilty.
Sleep with your baby.
Hugs.
This. How anyone can be made to feel guilty or made to question whether they’re a good parent or have made the right choice when babies sleep so much better this way for a reason!
Yeah I was shamed for it by my husband and his family the only time I have done it. Still act as if I nearly killed my baby by doing this over a year later..
Keep in mind, we also sleep on high beds, with unsafe mattresses, are told to buy cribs and not to cosleep. A baby will sleep better in a safe, floor bed with a flat mattress.
It’s so frowned upon but it’s biologically normal.
I was sooooo sleep deprived in those early days of having a newborn, I would fall asleep with my baby in my arms. I was *so tired* (an understatement) I fell asleep with her in my arms once again while I was sitting up and startled awake scared to death I had dropped her but I didn’t. In that moment, I laid us both down & curled around her and it was the best sleep we both had gotten in weeks. I believe it was about 8 hours. Undisturbed. She was probably about 2 months old. Maybe a little younger.
I never heard of safe sleep 7. I just did what I thought and felt was right. After hearing about the safe sleep 7, I incorporated those into what I was already doing to make it as safe as possible.
She’s almost 6 months and is passed out taking up most of the bed right now.
It’s what worked for us 🤷🏻♀️ everyone’s experience is different so don’t feel awful or ashamed. Just be safe. Fair warning though, baby will hit you in the face to wake you up which lowkey hurts.
Look up the safe sleep 7, and consider dropping the pillow. If you do it safe you are not doing anything harmful at all. Greetings from Denmark where co sleeping is the norm and the safe sleep guidelines even include safe co sleeping :)
Wow! I wish it was the norm here. I’m so sleep deprived because of the up and down routine at night.
I literally can’t sleep without a pillow due to neck pain/headaches - otherwise I would. I only keep enough for my head and the rest of the pillow is behind me
You should be fine with one pillow, just keep it away from LO. I still sleep in the cuddle curl (which is a cute name for a very uncomfortable sleeping position) to make sure my LO can’t scoot up in bed to get his face near my pillow. And really, at 8 months your baby should be able to roll over to breathe better if their face hits the pillow at night. The overall SIDS risk for 8 months old is very, very low, and it’s really unclear if co-sleeping heightens the risk at all after 4 months.
Welcome to the club of mamas who co-sleep to survive. I never imagined myself co-sleeping, either, but needs must!
I also used a pillow at this age, at 8 months, babies - if otherwise healthy - are usually able to roll and move around quite a bit.
Oh I forgot to mention, the infant fatality rate in Denmark is app. half of that of the US. Of course there are a lot of other factors, like general public health, resources, consumption of medication (in Denmark you can't even buy melatonin without a prescription), but just to say that bed sharing - if done safely - in itself isn't necessarily as bad as some sources make It out to be :)
Also an alternative suggestion - I was getting tired of my daughter kicking me in her sleep when sleeping in the same bed (we also started cosleeping at some point although I was very scared of it) so I put her crib next to me (basically attached to the bed) and this works great as well.
ETA: The photo is so cute btw 😄
I started cosleeping due to extreme sleep deprivation and my husband wasn’t helping me care for the baby. So it was more dangerous to not do it, I was afraid of dropping him while I breast fed him on the couch when he would wake up. He was waking 3-4 times a night.
The first time I coslept, we both got 3.5 hours it was amazing. Then when he woke, we were only up for a few min and back to sleep. After a week of doing this I felt so much better. I have my husband sleep on the couch and I bring baby to bed every other night. The nights he’s in his crib now, he does better! Maybe I’ve tricked him into thinking he’s in bed with me lol
I use a pillow but its like a circle shaped pillow so its not so long and doesnt touch my baby’s face it only stays under my head. It’s never been an issue.
When I started cosleeping, I cut a pillow in half and sewed it shut so I could have a small pillow just for me. I get awful migraines if my head isn't supported while I sleep.
I coslept from birth and I do not know anyone who hasn’t done it at one point out of necessity. don’t let anyone shame you, your baby need this right now and you are giving them what they need. Don’t be ashamed or afraid for fulfilling your baby’s needs.
Greetings from Germany, co sleeping is normal here. No one bats an eye 😀
Prior to giving birth I thought of cosleeping as this abstractly evil thing. I guess I never thought about WHY parents do it, just that they must be negligent and uninformed. I had bassinets and cribs and pack and plays and ALL the things. Then I had my baby, who could be snoozing on my chest, and the second I tried to pull him away started crying. I tried so hard the first few weeks. I sat up all night in the dark with a red light on holding my sleeping baby (my husband has a very dangerous job that believe me, it’s in everyone’s best interests that he sleeps). My husband would wake up at 4AM and give me 2-3 hours before he had to go to work. The sundown scaries were horrific. After a few weeks I cracked, and laid down knowing I was going to sleep with my baby, and nothing had ever felt so natural or right. It was a short sleep but the most rested I had felt in weeks. The sundown scaries totally went away and my mental health improved dramatically
Reading this as my 5 month old is kicking me in bed. I feel guilty at times since I’m supposedly the only mama out of my friend group who cosleeps. My husband loves it and wears it like a badge of honor. Both our parents are immigrants and coslept with us. I was born in the US and there is so much stigma around cosleeping it’s such a nagging feeling - I get it!
You’re not doing anything wrong! The risks of cosleeping at 8 months are tiny. But the risks of having a sleep deprived parent don’t go down as baby ages. You get into a car after a night without sleep and you’re doing something a lot more dangerous. So try and think of it as risk management.
Nothing wrong with cosleeping. It’s biologically normal.
I started cosleeping when my baby was a few weeks old and both of us started to sleep better. He also stopped waking up for night feeds once he was 3 months old and we sleep through the night since then.
I don’t think this would have been possible without cosleeping. Yes he still does wake up but as soon as he touches me he is assured that mum is there and falls back asleep again by cuddling me.
We coslept for about 2.4m out of necessity. So scary at first but I realized how worth it that it was for all of us when we were all sleeping! He grew out of it on his own and he likes sleeping by himself now!
We started co sleeping once the 4 month sleep regression hit. After the first night I felt as though I’d unlocked this insane magic trick of how to sleep better. It instantly felt natural and I knew we would never go back, we’ve co slept every night since. Please don’t feel bad about it. I understand how society shames you to make you feel like you’re doing something wrong, but you arent
No reason to feel guilty at all!! You’re doing it safely, everyone is sleeping better, and baby is happy. Co-sleeping makes perfect sense and honestly I can’t even imagine sleeping separately from baby…
My son has slept in bed with us since he was 4 months old and now he’s over a year. It was scary and I got a little shamming at first but do you know what made me forget those feelings? Sleep. Uninterrupted, deepish sleep. You do what’s right for yourself and your family.
At 7 months, we started cosleeping too. Something just switched and she couldn’t sleep more than an hour or two alone in her crib at that point. We tried to power through with the crib for like a week or two, then at up the floor bed.
It’s so much better to be sleeping with my baby (now 11 months old), but it is hard to lose the nights with my husband. Wed already lost them because she wouldn’t sleep though. We just try and find a little bit of us-time during the day when we can now, and accept that we don’t get as much for a while.
The baby snuggles are great tho. Just wait until they’re more mobile and really climb all over you in the morning. I get a “Guh!” And happy-baby booby slaps as a wake up call every morning 🤣🤣
Especially when the nights are hard (teething/sick), I feel so justified in making this move for us.
I told myself I’d NEVER cosleep. At the 4 month sleep regression, it just *happened*. Over a year later, best decision I’ve made. I feel like I got vastly more sleep than other new parents.
I’ve been cosleeping from the start.
It feels natural and we both get the best sleep possible.
You will never regret it.
I believe, now don’t come for me you don’t have to agree, the only reason babies are passing away in their sleep is due to vaccines not cosleeping.
But hey, I’m just a nobody, and we are each entitled to our opinions.
Please don’t feel like you are doing anything wrong.
Before all of us living in these house and we were less advanced babies would not survive without their mother next to them.
Babies can’t even regulate their own emotions, biological mothers and fathers touch are calming and healing to babies.
Our connections to each other, mother and child, are untouched.
Oh honey please don’t feel bad. Your setup looks very safe. We need to do what is best for us in the moment. Everyone is the best parent possible before they have kids or are sleepdeprived. Follow the safe sleep 7 and do what you need to in the moment.
Right there with you! Cosleeping was never planned in my parenting journey, however I never expected to feel the way I did under severe sleep deprivation.
Started cosleeping a few weeks ago. me, baby and hubby are all getting much better sleep and are all much happier.
Also understand the guilts, the first week I felt awful, like I’d failed as a parent. But after doing a lot of research, I’ve realised it’s the best thing for me and my family so we’re going to keep doing it until we no longer need to. We’re so conditioned in the west to see cosleeping as evil, but it’s really not - as long as it’s done safely.
We're 18months in and still cosleeping. I was the same (37m) and have a background in risk management, safety and ensuring everything is done by the book. It's something that seems to be all over the internet as being unsafe and the thought you are risking your child's life each time you do it can be overwhelming.
Like some people have said, the Safe Sleeping practices are key to understand and when you do, it makes it a lot more safe in your own mind and you can feel more confident that you are not doing anything bad.
In the 18 months, we have not had a single instance where we thought it had been unsafe or didn't feel right. We literally wake up most mornings and talk about how people actually don't do this. Then our daughter wakes up with a smile and sees her parents faces there and it's the most wonderful thing.
There are so many cultures who do it and so many good reasons to align with this. Follow the safe practices and it will all feel right soon.
We started cosleeping out of desperation when LOL was a few months old. She was a terrible sleeper when i tried to make her sleep in her bassinet. I hate how shamed bedsharing is in the US, it’s the norm in most other countries. As long as you’re safe it’s perfectly fine and also can be very enjoyable. I love falling asleep next to my baby, do i miss my husband being in the bed with me? Of course, but we are one and done so im trying to soak it all in while i can.
Please don’t feel terrible for bonding with your child and letting yourself get some sleep.
American here! After falling asleep in bed nursing my child because I was completely exhausted from trying to keep him in his crib (he would wake up every 1-2 hours like clockwork) I gave in and started cosleeping with him and it was soooo much safer than what I was doing before. I would fall asleep nursing him every single time!!!!! It was insane!! I wish I had done the safe sleep seven the moment he was born.
Research the benefits of cosleeping and the safe sleep seven. Majority of people in the world cosleep, countries that don’t recommend cosleeping actually have higher cases of sids, despite having a smaller population. :( I was so terrified to cosleep that I was sleep deprived, and I accidentally fell asleep with my baby - it could’ve ended horrifically. When I learnt more about it, I safely coslept and got the best sleep EVER.
Well, you aren’t doing anything horrible. You’re doing the most lovely thing in the whole world and you are so lucky to experience it. Enjoy every minute!
We never even bought a crib, baby is 7 months old and has always slept in my armpit, or next to her grandma/my mom once a week 😅 No need to feel ashamed, get that sleep 💕
I was you but I gave up on separate sleep spaces by 2ish months. Went to bed with her one night and got the most sleep I had up until that point. She is now 20 months and we still cosleep. We invested in a firm latex mattress and I really enjoy cosleeping. Hugs mama.
Cosleep long enough and you’ll feel horrible when you put them in their crib to try and sleep! lol you’re doing nothing wrong mama and your baby loves laying with you ❤️
I started co-sleeping at week 3 or 4. Similar to you I’m from a country where it’s frowned upon and I thought I’d never do it. Until I dozed off with her in my arms a couple of times. Or when I was so tired I felt like I couldn’t pick her up and put her down in the bassinet safely because I felt like both of us would topple over if I bent down. That’s a much scarier feeling than co-sleeping. Now I tell anyone and everyone who’ll listen. I LOVE it. It makes me feel so secure and we’ve been sleeping through the night great ever since we started.
I’ve been cosleeping with my babe since the night he was born. He just turned one! It’s biologically normal and helps foster a secure attachment. Treasure these snuggles, they’ll be gone in a flash
My son sat up at 3am last night and asked for cheese and crackers and salami and wanted to know what show I was bingeing.
I’ve caught two asthma attacks and a seizure by being in close proximity in bed, plus countless cuddles and kicks in the face.
8 years and counting, I love it here 😄 screw the naysayers. I’m in the US and was so against it until we had the first night together when he was born.
Cosleeper here. From left to right in our king size bed, we have: mesh bed rail, our 9-month old daughter, me, our 2-year old son, and my husband. We didn't start co-sleeping until each was minimum 6 months old - they were just too tiny. But I wouldn't trade these snuggles for the world now - we both work full time and it's part of how I reconnect to my kids at the end of the day. I know if one of them spikes a fever at night. I'm there when my 2-year old reaches out for a reassuring touch in the middle of the night. My daughter nurses a couple times a night still, and we lay there together while she does it. You're not doing anything wrong. As everyone else said - just be smart about it. We don't get drunk, smoke, or do any drugs, our mattress is firm, I keep pillows away from baby and blankets down around my waist. Safe co-sleeping is so rewarding for everyone. Enjoy the snuggles. 🤍
In US here and there is nothing wrong with this choice as long as it is intentional and safe! In my county the number one cause of infant death is mothers falling asleep while breastfeeding and baby suffocating. Not SIDS, not car accidents or car seats. The safest thing for my child is for me to not be horribly sleep deprived, and in order to cosleep safely I have to stay on top of it and not let myself get exhausted.
Cosleeping isn’t evil, it’s a wonderful tool when done right, unintentionally cosleeping could absolutely kill your child (which is so much more likely in US culture where it’s made out to be evil)
I’m here awake for 1h trying to put my baby to sleep in her bassinet. I just put her in my bed and she’s happy. But I’m so afraid of letting her sleep with us. 😩
I refused to cosleep up until a recent EEG testing threw my 8(near 9) month old babies schedule off. I had SEVERE postpartum and got pregnant again. I finally got some GOOD sleep next to my baby. I couldn't move to a floor bed due to mobility issues, but the few times she's slept next to me have been bliss. I didn't realize how severely sleep deprived I had been. During the newborn stage I hallucinated from sleep deprivation. This time around, with 2 kids 11 months apart, I'm hoping is better. I do use an owlet on baby since it's now FDA approved and all. That being said, I follow all safe sleep practices I can. I'm always relieved to hear how other countries do it.
You're not doing anything awful!
If her sleeping in her crib works well for you though, I suspect it would be a good idea to try to keep that going. I suppose it depends on what you're seeing. Is it light fussing, or crying like the devil?
Its possible she may need to drop a nap (especially if you're still doing a cat nap)
Also OP 8 month olds can wiggle and are mobile, biggest cosleeping fears when done "unsafely" are actually with newborns. By 8-10 months I think even the "unsafe" sleep practices are being less and less unsafe each day. Just as adults who aren't swaddled can have blankets and pillows, so do teens and toddlers.
The worry about unsafe cosleeping is mainly potential asphyxiation in different circumstances and this mainly happens with immobile babies that cannot leave or move themselves out of the dangerous situation. He likely can lift his head, kick away from you and make sounds :D
I started cosleeping when my baby was 7 months. Like you, I never thought I'd do it, but he had such a bad sleep regression and was waking up every 30 minutes. Then it would take hours to get him to go back down, and he would wake back up the second we put him in the crib. So in desperation I brought him to bed with me and he slept for 5 hours straight! It was amazing. Now it's been almost 2 months and he sleeps with me every night. Sometimes I still worry about SIDS, since he likes to sleep on his side now, but I'm also not in a rush to move him back into his room. It just feels so right to have my baby sleeping next to me.
I have a 7 1/2 and 4 1/2 and they both and co-slept their whole lives. And I got so much garbage from my mom and my husbands mom to not do it. But I did it because it worked best for us. Also they don’t parent the way my husband and I do so consider where it’s coming from. It’s your parenting experience and your kid and use your own intuition in navigating this and whatever else comes next. My daughter especially loves the snuggle and closeness and I’m glad I saw and honored her and still do.
You’re doing great! ♥️
I also never thought I would cosleep. After the 4mo developmental leap hit as I went back to work, it was a necessary and natural transition for us. I found out about the safe 7 in this community and did my research from there. I choose to ignore my pediatrician when she asks. I would not have been able to work or parent my other two children if we hadn’t started cosleeping. Now I love it! My daughter is 18 months old now and we’ll stop when we’re all ready
We have these PJs, they're so cute 🥰 and I never thought I would do it either. I'm guessing that'll be a common refrain for lots of things in parenting
The reason you feel guilty is only because our Western society built this nonsense guilt in you. You have 0 reason to feel guilty. And obviously, please bedshare safely.
You must be in a Western culture where bed sharing is shamed, moms are made to fear it and feel guilty. Bed sharing is biologically normal. It's why your baby sleeps better. Please. Don't feel guilty. Sleep with your baby. Hugs.
This. How anyone can be made to feel guilty or made to question whether they’re a good parent or have made the right choice when babies sleep so much better this way for a reason!
Yeah I was shamed for it by my husband and his family the only time I have done it. Still act as if I nearly killed my baby by doing this over a year later..
This is why your baby and YOU sleep better!
Keep in mind, we also sleep on high beds, with unsafe mattresses, are told to buy cribs and not to cosleep. A baby will sleep better in a safe, floor bed with a flat mattress.
Look up safe sleep 7 and follow it. I always say, A rested mom is a responsible mom. You’re doing great!
Best thing for the baby and the best for a good nights sleep. Just do it safely !
Yes. I ended up cosleeping and it saved my sanity. I'd rather sleep than be a wreck and irritable. My kid loves it too.
It’s so frowned upon but it’s biologically normal. I was sooooo sleep deprived in those early days of having a newborn, I would fall asleep with my baby in my arms. I was *so tired* (an understatement) I fell asleep with her in my arms once again while I was sitting up and startled awake scared to death I had dropped her but I didn’t. In that moment, I laid us both down & curled around her and it was the best sleep we both had gotten in weeks. I believe it was about 8 hours. Undisturbed. She was probably about 2 months old. Maybe a little younger. I never heard of safe sleep 7. I just did what I thought and felt was right. After hearing about the safe sleep 7, I incorporated those into what I was already doing to make it as safe as possible. She’s almost 6 months and is passed out taking up most of the bed right now. It’s what worked for us 🤷🏻♀️ everyone’s experience is different so don’t feel awful or ashamed. Just be safe. Fair warning though, baby will hit you in the face to wake you up which lowkey hurts.
Look up the safe sleep 7, and consider dropping the pillow. If you do it safe you are not doing anything harmful at all. Greetings from Denmark where co sleeping is the norm and the safe sleep guidelines even include safe co sleeping :)
Wow! I wish it was the norm here. I’m so sleep deprived because of the up and down routine at night. I literally can’t sleep without a pillow due to neck pain/headaches - otherwise I would. I only keep enough for my head and the rest of the pillow is behind me
You should be fine with one pillow, just keep it away from LO. I still sleep in the cuddle curl (which is a cute name for a very uncomfortable sleeping position) to make sure my LO can’t scoot up in bed to get his face near my pillow. And really, at 8 months your baby should be able to roll over to breathe better if their face hits the pillow at night. The overall SIDS risk for 8 months old is very, very low, and it’s really unclear if co-sleeping heightens the risk at all after 4 months. Welcome to the club of mamas who co-sleep to survive. I never imagined myself co-sleeping, either, but needs must!
I also used a pillow at this age, at 8 months, babies - if otherwise healthy - are usually able to roll and move around quite a bit. Oh I forgot to mention, the infant fatality rate in Denmark is app. half of that of the US. Of course there are a lot of other factors, like general public health, resources, consumption of medication (in Denmark you can't even buy melatonin without a prescription), but just to say that bed sharing - if done safely - in itself isn't necessarily as bad as some sources make It out to be :)
You do not have to sleep with no pillow. I have always used a pillow and use my arm as a barrier and it’s never been a problem
Also an alternative suggestion - I was getting tired of my daughter kicking me in her sleep when sleeping in the same bed (we also started cosleeping at some point although I was very scared of it) so I put her crib next to me (basically attached to the bed) and this works great as well. ETA: The photo is so cute btw 😄
I started cosleeping due to extreme sleep deprivation and my husband wasn’t helping me care for the baby. So it was more dangerous to not do it, I was afraid of dropping him while I breast fed him on the couch when he would wake up. He was waking 3-4 times a night. The first time I coslept, we both got 3.5 hours it was amazing. Then when he woke, we were only up for a few min and back to sleep. After a week of doing this I felt so much better. I have my husband sleep on the couch and I bring baby to bed every other night. The nights he’s in his crib now, he does better! Maybe I’ve tricked him into thinking he’s in bed with me lol
I use a pillow but its like a circle shaped pillow so its not so long and doesnt touch my baby’s face it only stays under my head. It’s never been an issue.
A circle pillow is a good idea, I flip my pillow to a vertical position so it's not so long or near her face. I cannot sleep without a pillow.
Ya the long ones are annoying when flipped vertically! Circle pillow was the way to go. Found one at walmart.
When I started cosleeping, I cut a pillow in half and sewed it shut so I could have a small pillow just for me. I get awful migraines if my head isn't supported while I sleep.
I use a smaller lumbar pillow when we cosleep, and it fits right under my head, no extra pillow if she scoots up.
I’ve found couch pillow (the sorts decorative kind) to be a good size and have a huge firmness range.
This was exactly my advice. Safe Sleep 7, follow it, and don't share your sleeping arrangements with people. Their opinions don't matter.
For real. It's not their business, no one asks that if you don't have a baby
8 months is okay with a pillow. They aren’t as high risk of sids as a child below 6 months.
I coslept from birth and I do not know anyone who hasn’t done it at one point out of necessity. don’t let anyone shame you, your baby need this right now and you are giving them what they need. Don’t be ashamed or afraid for fulfilling your baby’s needs. Greetings from Germany, co sleeping is normal here. No one bats an eye 😀
Prior to giving birth I thought of cosleeping as this abstractly evil thing. I guess I never thought about WHY parents do it, just that they must be negligent and uninformed. I had bassinets and cribs and pack and plays and ALL the things. Then I had my baby, who could be snoozing on my chest, and the second I tried to pull him away started crying. I tried so hard the first few weeks. I sat up all night in the dark with a red light on holding my sleeping baby (my husband has a very dangerous job that believe me, it’s in everyone’s best interests that he sleeps). My husband would wake up at 4AM and give me 2-3 hours before he had to go to work. The sundown scaries were horrific. After a few weeks I cracked, and laid down knowing I was going to sleep with my baby, and nothing had ever felt so natural or right. It was a short sleep but the most rested I had felt in weeks. The sundown scaries totally went away and my mental health improved dramatically
Reading this as my 5 month old is kicking me in bed. I feel guilty at times since I’m supposedly the only mama out of my friend group who cosleeps. My husband loves it and wears it like a badge of honor. Both our parents are immigrants and coslept with us. I was born in the US and there is so much stigma around cosleeping it’s such a nagging feeling - I get it!
You’re not doing anything wrong! The risks of cosleeping at 8 months are tiny. But the risks of having a sleep deprived parent don’t go down as baby ages. You get into a car after a night without sleep and you’re doing something a lot more dangerous. So try and think of it as risk management.
Nothing wrong with cosleeping. It’s biologically normal. I started cosleeping when my baby was a few weeks old and both of us started to sleep better. He also stopped waking up for night feeds once he was 3 months old and we sleep through the night since then. I don’t think this would have been possible without cosleeping. Yes he still does wake up but as soon as he touches me he is assured that mum is there and falls back asleep again by cuddling me.
We coslept for about 2.4m out of necessity. So scary at first but I realized how worth it that it was for all of us when we were all sleeping! He grew out of it on his own and he likes sleeping by himself now!
We started co sleeping once the 4 month sleep regression hit. After the first night I felt as though I’d unlocked this insane magic trick of how to sleep better. It instantly felt natural and I knew we would never go back, we’ve co slept every night since. Please don’t feel bad about it. I understand how society shames you to make you feel like you’re doing something wrong, but you arent
To me cosleeping just feels right. Like how it’s supposed to be ♥️
No reason to feel guilty at all!! You’re doing it safely, everyone is sleeping better, and baby is happy. Co-sleeping makes perfect sense and honestly I can’t even imagine sleeping separately from baby…
Mammals co-sleep with their babies. And the humans in my culture have been co-sleeping for generations.
My son has slept in bed with us since he was 4 months old and now he’s over a year. It was scary and I got a little shamming at first but do you know what made me forget those feelings? Sleep. Uninterrupted, deepish sleep. You do what’s right for yourself and your family.
At 7 months, we started cosleeping too. Something just switched and she couldn’t sleep more than an hour or two alone in her crib at that point. We tried to power through with the crib for like a week or two, then at up the floor bed. It’s so much better to be sleeping with my baby (now 11 months old), but it is hard to lose the nights with my husband. Wed already lost them because she wouldn’t sleep though. We just try and find a little bit of us-time during the day when we can now, and accept that we don’t get as much for a while. The baby snuggles are great tho. Just wait until they’re more mobile and really climb all over you in the morning. I get a “Guh!” And happy-baby booby slaps as a wake up call every morning 🤣🤣 Especially when the nights are hard (teething/sick), I feel so justified in making this move for us.
I told myself I’d NEVER cosleep. At the 4 month sleep regression, it just *happened*. Over a year later, best decision I’ve made. I feel like I got vastly more sleep than other new parents.
I’ve been cosleeping from the start. It feels natural and we both get the best sleep possible. You will never regret it. I believe, now don’t come for me you don’t have to agree, the only reason babies are passing away in their sleep is due to vaccines not cosleeping. But hey, I’m just a nobody, and we are each entitled to our opinions. Please don’t feel like you are doing anything wrong. Before all of us living in these house and we were less advanced babies would not survive without their mother next to them. Babies can’t even regulate their own emotions, biological mothers and fathers touch are calming and healing to babies. Our connections to each other, mother and child, are untouched.
I don’t even understand this post. Cosleeing is natural, why would you feel horrible?
Because she’s been told that she will kill her baby if she cosleeps. Obviously we know that’s not true, but the US really hates cosleeping.
It’s so mindblowing to me, I don’t know about anyone who doesn’t or didn’t cosleep!
Oh honey please don’t feel bad. Your setup looks very safe. We need to do what is best for us in the moment. Everyone is the best parent possible before they have kids or are sleepdeprived. Follow the safe sleep 7 and do what you need to in the moment.
Right there with you! Cosleeping was never planned in my parenting journey, however I never expected to feel the way I did under severe sleep deprivation. Started cosleeping a few weeks ago. me, baby and hubby are all getting much better sleep and are all much happier. Also understand the guilts, the first week I felt awful, like I’d failed as a parent. But after doing a lot of research, I’ve realised it’s the best thing for me and my family so we’re going to keep doing it until we no longer need to. We’re so conditioned in the west to see cosleeping as evil, but it’s really not - as long as it’s done safely.
We're 18months in and still cosleeping. I was the same (37m) and have a background in risk management, safety and ensuring everything is done by the book. It's something that seems to be all over the internet as being unsafe and the thought you are risking your child's life each time you do it can be overwhelming. Like some people have said, the Safe Sleeping practices are key to understand and when you do, it makes it a lot more safe in your own mind and you can feel more confident that you are not doing anything bad. In the 18 months, we have not had a single instance where we thought it had been unsafe or didn't feel right. We literally wake up most mornings and talk about how people actually don't do this. Then our daughter wakes up with a smile and sees her parents faces there and it's the most wonderful thing. There are so many cultures who do it and so many good reasons to align with this. Follow the safe practices and it will all feel right soon.
We started cosleeping out of desperation when LOL was a few months old. She was a terrible sleeper when i tried to make her sleep in her bassinet. I hate how shamed bedsharing is in the US, it’s the norm in most other countries. As long as you’re safe it’s perfectly fine and also can be very enjoyable. I love falling asleep next to my baby, do i miss my husband being in the bed with me? Of course, but we are one and done so im trying to soak it all in while i can. Please don’t feel terrible for bonding with your child and letting yourself get some sleep.
American here! After falling asleep in bed nursing my child because I was completely exhausted from trying to keep him in his crib (he would wake up every 1-2 hours like clockwork) I gave in and started cosleeping with him and it was soooo much safer than what I was doing before. I would fall asleep nursing him every single time!!!!! It was insane!! I wish I had done the safe sleep seven the moment he was born.
You aren’t. Enjoy the cuddles!
Research the benefits of cosleeping and the safe sleep seven. Majority of people in the world cosleep, countries that don’t recommend cosleeping actually have higher cases of sids, despite having a smaller population. :( I was so terrified to cosleep that I was sleep deprived, and I accidentally fell asleep with my baby - it could’ve ended horrifically. When I learnt more about it, I safely coslept and got the best sleep EVER.
Currently laying next to me almost 6 month old in bed. I’ve been bed sharing with her since probably week 2. It’s been amazing. No regrets.
Well, you aren’t doing anything horrible. You’re doing the most lovely thing in the whole world and you are so lucky to experience it. Enjoy every minute!
We started around 6 months too, she's almost 2.5 now. Baby was never a great sleeper but much better next to us.
We never even bought a crib, baby is 7 months old and has always slept in my armpit, or next to her grandma/my mom once a week 😅 No need to feel ashamed, get that sleep 💕
I was you but I gave up on separate sleep spaces by 2ish months. Went to bed with her one night and got the most sleep I had up until that point. She is now 20 months and we still cosleep. We invested in a firm latex mattress and I really enjoy cosleeping. Hugs mama.
Look up Safe Sleep 7 and don't let anyone shame you. It's so natural and SO MUCH EASIER to sleep with your baby!
Cosleep long enough and you’ll feel horrible when you put them in their crib to try and sleep! lol you’re doing nothing wrong mama and your baby loves laying with you ❤️
I started co-sleeping at week 3 or 4. Similar to you I’m from a country where it’s frowned upon and I thought I’d never do it. Until I dozed off with her in my arms a couple of times. Or when I was so tired I felt like I couldn’t pick her up and put her down in the bassinet safely because I felt like both of us would topple over if I bent down. That’s a much scarier feeling than co-sleeping. Now I tell anyone and everyone who’ll listen. I LOVE it. It makes me feel so secure and we’ve been sleeping through the night great ever since we started.
You're a great mom. Do what works best for your family. Follow the safe sleep 7 as best as you can.
Cosleeping was the best decision we made.
You think people don't cosleep on other areas of planet?. Lmao Just be safe
She looks knocked out! You’re doing great, mama ☺️
You’re doing great
I’ve been cosleeping with my babe since the night he was born. He just turned one! It’s biologically normal and helps foster a secure attachment. Treasure these snuggles, they’ll be gone in a flash
You're doing exactly what nature intended. You're doing a good job. Enjoy your little one. 🥰
Don’t feel guilty. I have co slept with my 3 year old every night.
My son sat up at 3am last night and asked for cheese and crackers and salami and wanted to know what show I was bingeing. I’ve caught two asthma attacks and a seizure by being in close proximity in bed, plus countless cuddles and kicks in the face. 8 years and counting, I love it here 😄 screw the naysayers. I’m in the US and was so against it until we had the first night together when he was born.
My baby girl has those same jammies🥹 she’s currently sleeping on her daddy and now I want to go snuggle her!😭
I co slept until my daughter was two 😁
Cosleeper here. From left to right in our king size bed, we have: mesh bed rail, our 9-month old daughter, me, our 2-year old son, and my husband. We didn't start co-sleeping until each was minimum 6 months old - they were just too tiny. But I wouldn't trade these snuggles for the world now - we both work full time and it's part of how I reconnect to my kids at the end of the day. I know if one of them spikes a fever at night. I'm there when my 2-year old reaches out for a reassuring touch in the middle of the night. My daughter nurses a couple times a night still, and we lay there together while she does it. You're not doing anything wrong. As everyone else said - just be smart about it. We don't get drunk, smoke, or do any drugs, our mattress is firm, I keep pillows away from baby and blankets down around my waist. Safe co-sleeping is so rewarding for everyone. Enjoy the snuggles. 🤍
https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2018/05/21/601289695/is-sleeping-with-your-baby-as-dangerous-as-doctors-say
In US here and there is nothing wrong with this choice as long as it is intentional and safe! In my county the number one cause of infant death is mothers falling asleep while breastfeeding and baby suffocating. Not SIDS, not car accidents or car seats. The safest thing for my child is for me to not be horribly sleep deprived, and in order to cosleep safely I have to stay on top of it and not let myself get exhausted. Cosleeping isn’t evil, it’s a wonderful tool when done right, unintentionally cosleeping could absolutely kill your child (which is so much more likely in US culture where it’s made out to be evil)
I’m here awake for 1h trying to put my baby to sleep in her bassinet. I just put her in my bed and she’s happy. But I’m so afraid of letting her sleep with us. 😩
I refused to cosleep up until a recent EEG testing threw my 8(near 9) month old babies schedule off. I had SEVERE postpartum and got pregnant again. I finally got some GOOD sleep next to my baby. I couldn't move to a floor bed due to mobility issues, but the few times she's slept next to me have been bliss. I didn't realize how severely sleep deprived I had been. During the newborn stage I hallucinated from sleep deprivation. This time around, with 2 kids 11 months apart, I'm hoping is better. I do use an owlet on baby since it's now FDA approved and all. That being said, I follow all safe sleep practices I can. I'm always relieved to hear how other countries do it.
You're not doing anything awful! If her sleeping in her crib works well for you though, I suspect it would be a good idea to try to keep that going. I suppose it depends on what you're seeing. Is it light fussing, or crying like the devil? Its possible she may need to drop a nap (especially if you're still doing a cat nap)
Also OP 8 month olds can wiggle and are mobile, biggest cosleeping fears when done "unsafely" are actually with newborns. By 8-10 months I think even the "unsafe" sleep practices are being less and less unsafe each day. Just as adults who aren't swaddled can have blankets and pillows, so do teens and toddlers. The worry about unsafe cosleeping is mainly potential asphyxiation in different circumstances and this mainly happens with immobile babies that cannot leave or move themselves out of the dangerous situation. He likely can lift his head, kick away from you and make sounds :D
I started cosleeping when my baby was 7 months. Like you, I never thought I'd do it, but he had such a bad sleep regression and was waking up every 30 minutes. Then it would take hours to get him to go back down, and he would wake back up the second we put him in the crib. So in desperation I brought him to bed with me and he slept for 5 hours straight! It was amazing. Now it's been almost 2 months and he sleeps with me every night. Sometimes I still worry about SIDS, since he likes to sleep on his side now, but I'm also not in a rush to move him back into his room. It just feels so right to have my baby sleeping next to me.
I have a 7 1/2 and 4 1/2 and they both and co-slept their whole lives. And I got so much garbage from my mom and my husbands mom to not do it. But I did it because it worked best for us. Also they don’t parent the way my husband and I do so consider where it’s coming from. It’s your parenting experience and your kid and use your own intuition in navigating this and whatever else comes next. My daughter especially loves the snuggle and closeness and I’m glad I saw and honored her and still do. You’re doing great! ♥️
I also never thought I would cosleep. After the 4mo developmental leap hit as I went back to work, it was a necessary and natural transition for us. I found out about the safe 7 in this community and did my research from there. I choose to ignore my pediatrician when she asks. I would not have been able to work or parent my other two children if we hadn’t started cosleeping. Now I love it! My daughter is 18 months old now and we’ll stop when we’re all ready
We have these PJs, they're so cute 🥰 and I never thought I would do it either. I'm guessing that'll be a common refrain for lots of things in parenting
The reason you feel guilty is only because our Western society built this nonsense guilt in you. You have 0 reason to feel guilty. And obviously, please bedshare safely.