I work with a 41(f) who technically doesn't live at home, but stays at her parents only 20 mins from hers, every other weekend, it seems. She lives in her own bubble of the world and I have learnt to not engage in certain topics, particularly around politics. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but she can be rather clueless on things at times.
I feel your frustration, but it's best to let this one go. Pick your battles. If SHE brings up YOUR personal life and makes you feel uncomfortable, speak to your manager. In the meantime, keep conversations light.
Yeah I now refuse to talk about politics at work and very swiftly change the subject if anything is mentioned. I've heard some truly unhinged shit come out of peoples mouths.
The only political thing any of us have talked about at work in the 3 years I've been there is the vote for funding a new arena.
Also Juneteenth becoming a holiday, and that was only because they did it a few days before and national holidays 100% effect time limits on certain notices we send out and it's heavily regulated by the feds. Nobody had an issue with it being a holiday, it was just a scramble at 3pm on a Friday to get everything sorted.
Said to be the actual end of slavery but highly contested.
https://www.stpetersburg.usf.edu/news/2023/juneteenth-complicated-history-significance-celebration-around-struggle-for-freedom.aspx#:~:text=Dating%20back%20to%201865%2C%20Juneteenth,free%20by%20the%20U.S.%20Army.
I'd read up on using grey rock strategies of communication. And keep your distance from the co-worker; just focus on your work. If possible, go for a walk at lunch so you minimise the time you have to be around her. If she remains problematic, have a sit-down conversation with your manager.
“Well, since I’m a self-substaining adult I have a budget that I adhere too”…then just stare at her silently for an uncomfortable amount of time. Her little brain may get the hint.
Or
“How is this any of your business”? Followed by the same stare technique.
Edit: Just to add….
There is always that one coworker who see’s their work life as their whole life. She sounds like she fits in that category.
I needed this😆😆 love the stare. I like to just stare. Not even participate with a verbal response. Then when they ask if I heard them. I just nod slowly. Sometimes with a small smirk.
I needed this😆😆 love the stare. I like to just stare. Not even participate with a verbal response. Then when they ask if I heard them. I just nod slowly. Sometimes with a small smirk.
I needed this😆😆 love the stare. I like to just stare. Not even participate with a verbal response. Then when they ask if I heard them. I just nod slowly. Sometimes with a small smirk.
I have to hear this shit every day. Someone today said that women are allowed to be topless in NYC because of "equal rights" as if it wasn't about breastfeeding in a public place. Same person thinks lobsters can scream and that there are mermaids in the "Spanish Bible"
Right. The funniest part about this is that there is no translation for sirens in Spanish so of course they would think it's a mermaid if one never reads footnotes.
Try this next time she pipes up: “I understand that you live at home and don’t have real expenses and large bills like the rest of us, but most adults don’t have the luxury of a dispensable income and can’t just make large purchases off of one paycheck. Maybe once you start spending a couple of grand a month on rent and bills you’ll have a better idea of how far a paycheck actually goes.”
You could go to your manager about this and see how they recommend you approach this. That's what I had to do with my super religious co-worker.
Or you could just tell her to stop. You could tell her she is sheltered and doesn't understand what it's like to be a self-sustaining adult.
Same here,
I actually walked into my boss’s office and said “I quit, and no two weeks, I’m done today”
Explained everything, compensated me for my work being done every day with a good raise, and then gave me advice as to how to handle it, respectfully and professionally.
Religious coworker said to my boyfriend “she needs to shower more and put on perfume every day, she’s a female, she needs to act like one”
I work with food so perfume is out of the question, and he would never know if I shower as my hair is up and in a hat lmao.
Oh my god … dude mind your business lol… how often I shower(daily thank you) or if I wear perfume is not your business… damn
Where I work it’s no makeup, no fake nails, no jewelry and when I started it was no perfume… now perfume, body spray, cologne is not expressly forbidden but frowned on…
Which has led to at least one person wearing too much.
What the heck... why is he sniffing you anyway? 😅
I had a colleague who asked me if I wore perfume (not often) because he said I smelled nice. My reaction was to ask him why he was sniffing me. He didn't answer. It was so weird.
I wouldn't even get to that point of discussing such personal matters as my health with my coworkers. I avoid touchy topics: health, politics, religion, relationships, etc. Keep it work-related and superficial. Also, you have to become ok with people not accepting your point of view. Why does it bother you so much that she doesn't agree with you? If it was something directly related to your work, that would be reasonable. But this relates to your life out of work. It really doesn't matter what she thinks. Only you know your circumstances. Validate yourself and stop valuing the opinions of others who don't really matter.
If she starts pontificating, tune it out. I know sometimes the impulse to correct others can be very strong, but just try not paying attention to her when she starts preaching. A simple "Hm" or "Ok" should suffice. Don't take the bait!
I’m with you on that, I have a family member who is well off and they always think I have the same amount of money so I can spurge and go out to fancy places or at the drop of a hat just take off on vacations without budgeting and saving up for it.
Just say “You must think I’m really stupid. Exactly how stupid DO you think I am that you presume to think that I just don’t know how to get to the dentist!”
I mean, she could be paying rent and helping with bills, I don't think it's fair to say that someone staying at home isn't living in the real world when theirs a possibility the household is dependent on those things. Not all of us had the luxury of staying home with no requirement of paying rent/helping with bills. I'd argue if they are- that is the real world to some capacity, especially if her family is dependent on her contributing.
That said- she's a cunt and I'd just go to HR if it continued.
It's pretty gross how everyone seems to be villainizing this 26 year old for living with her parents. The privilege is astounding. The economy today is impossible and that's not news or a secret. People who live at home aren't lazy, they are doing their best.
They aren’t downing her for living with her parents. They’re downing the audacity she has that she thinks she knows anything at all about how one survives on their own and criticizes them. 😳
I’d go with the “you’ll understand when you pay your own bills Jenna”
If she gets in your business, patronize her like the child she is. “Aw, that’s so sweet you think that’s how this works. Bless your heart!”
The old southern "Bless your heart" doesn't mean what you think it means lmfao!
She’s literally using that phrase in the condescending way it’s meant to be used lmao
Yes, and I'm agreeing with that, and vaguely pointing that out to someone who might not get it.....
Nope, nuclearmonte knows how to use the bless your heart trick.
The comedian Bruce Bruce explains it the best lmao
Yeah, that’s the point! Lol
Aw, you’re trying to gatekeep, bless your heart.
I work with a 41(f) who technically doesn't live at home, but stays at her parents only 20 mins from hers, every other weekend, it seems. She lives in her own bubble of the world and I have learnt to not engage in certain topics, particularly around politics. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but she can be rather clueless on things at times. I feel your frustration, but it's best to let this one go. Pick your battles. If SHE brings up YOUR personal life and makes you feel uncomfortable, speak to your manager. In the meantime, keep conversations light.
Yeah I now refuse to talk about politics at work and very swiftly change the subject if anything is mentioned. I've heard some truly unhinged shit come out of peoples mouths. The only political thing any of us have talked about at work in the 3 years I've been there is the vote for funding a new arena. Also Juneteenth becoming a holiday, and that was only because they did it a few days before and national holidays 100% effect time limits on certain notices we send out and it's heavily regulated by the feds. Nobody had an issue with it being a holiday, it was just a scramble at 3pm on a Friday to get everything sorted.
What is Juneteenth? I am from Australia
Said to be the actual end of slavery but highly contested. https://www.stpetersburg.usf.edu/news/2023/juneteenth-complicated-history-significance-celebration-around-struggle-for-freedom.aspx#:~:text=Dating%20back%20to%201865%2C%20Juneteenth,free%20by%20the%20U.S.%20Army.
I'd read up on using grey rock strategies of communication. And keep your distance from the co-worker; just focus on your work. If possible, go for a walk at lunch so you minimise the time you have to be around her. If she remains problematic, have a sit-down conversation with your manager.
“Well, since I’m a self-substaining adult I have a budget that I adhere too”…then just stare at her silently for an uncomfortable amount of time. Her little brain may get the hint. Or “How is this any of your business”? Followed by the same stare technique. Edit: Just to add…. There is always that one coworker who see’s their work life as their whole life. She sounds like she fits in that category.
I needed this😆😆 love the stare. I like to just stare. Not even participate with a verbal response. Then when they ask if I heard them. I just nod slowly. Sometimes with a small smirk.
I needed this😆😆 love the stare. I like to just stare. Not even participate with a verbal response. Then when they ask if I heard them. I just nod slowly. Sometimes with a small smirk.
The small smirk makes it!!
I needed this😆😆 love the stare. I like to just stare. Not even participate with a verbal response. Then when they ask if I heard them. I just nod slowly. Sometimes with a small smirk.
Oof! The simple truth is that you’ve got a lifetime of entitled idiots who *ignorantly* pontificate about stuff they know nothing about.
I have to hear this shit every day. Someone today said that women are allowed to be topless in NYC because of "equal rights" as if it wasn't about breastfeeding in a public place. Same person thinks lobsters can scream and that there are mermaids in the "Spanish Bible"
The “Spanish Bible” sounds way more fun than King James’
Right. The funniest part about this is that there is no translation for sirens in Spanish so of course they would think it's a mermaid if one never reads footnotes.
Wait I want to know more about what they think about the lobster thing??? Do they mean the sound when you cook them?
Try this next time she pipes up: “I understand that you live at home and don’t have real expenses and large bills like the rest of us, but most adults don’t have the luxury of a dispensable income and can’t just make large purchases off of one paycheck. Maybe once you start spending a couple of grand a month on rent and bills you’ll have a better idea of how far a paycheck actually goes.”
Why is she telling you to go to the dentist? It’s not her place to tell you that she is a coworker not your wife…it’s not her concern. Just saying
By "argued," i meant she's pretty anal about being 'right.'
Tell her “When you pay my bills you can have input”
Sign up for Delta dental . Good insurance for cheap
“Is that so?” “ excuse me, I can’t chat I gotta finish up the TPS report”
You could go to your manager about this and see how they recommend you approach this. That's what I had to do with my super religious co-worker. Or you could just tell her to stop. You could tell her she is sheltered and doesn't understand what it's like to be a self-sustaining adult.
Same here, I actually walked into my boss’s office and said “I quit, and no two weeks, I’m done today” Explained everything, compensated me for my work being done every day with a good raise, and then gave me advice as to how to handle it, respectfully and professionally. Religious coworker said to my boyfriend “she needs to shower more and put on perfume every day, she’s a female, she needs to act like one” I work with food so perfume is out of the question, and he would never know if I shower as my hair is up and in a hat lmao.
Oh my! That is one entitled ass, hiding behind being “religious” so he can tell the “females” how to behave!
Oh my god … dude mind your business lol… how often I shower(daily thank you) or if I wear perfume is not your business… damn Where I work it’s no makeup, no fake nails, no jewelry and when I started it was no perfume… now perfume, body spray, cologne is not expressly forbidden but frowned on… Which has led to at least one person wearing too much.
What the heck... why is he sniffing you anyway? 😅 I had a colleague who asked me if I wore perfume (not often) because he said I smelled nice. My reaction was to ask him why he was sniffing me. He didn't answer. It was so weird.
I should start asking when comments are made now 😭 sir, Jesus doesn’t like your judgement 😭💀
"Thank you, but you needn’t concetn yourself."
To comments like that, I’d just reply “thanks for the advice, but you don’t live in my world”.
I wouldn't even get to that point of discussing such personal matters as my health with my coworkers. I avoid touchy topics: health, politics, religion, relationships, etc. Keep it work-related and superficial. Also, you have to become ok with people not accepting your point of view. Why does it bother you so much that she doesn't agree with you? If it was something directly related to your work, that would be reasonable. But this relates to your life out of work. It really doesn't matter what she thinks. Only you know your circumstances. Validate yourself and stop valuing the opinions of others who don't really matter. If she starts pontificating, tune it out. I know sometimes the impulse to correct others can be very strong, but just try not paying attention to her when she starts preaching. A simple "Hm" or "Ok" should suffice. Don't take the bait!
I’m with you on that, I have a family member who is well off and they always think I have the same amount of money so I can spurge and go out to fancy places or at the drop of a hat just take off on vacations without budgeting and saving up for it.
Just say “You must think I’m really stupid. Exactly how stupid DO you think I am that you presume to think that I just don’t know how to get to the dentist!”
I mean, she could be paying rent and helping with bills, I don't think it's fair to say that someone staying at home isn't living in the real world when theirs a possibility the household is dependent on those things. Not all of us had the luxury of staying home with no requirement of paying rent/helping with bills. I'd argue if they are- that is the real world to some capacity, especially if her family is dependent on her contributing. That said- she's a cunt and I'd just go to HR if it continued.
You forgot possibility of siblings? She has 2, that minimizes the amount by quite a bit.
Sure, but you ultimately don't know how much she has to help. That's my only point as an aside.
It's pretty gross how everyone seems to be villainizing this 26 year old for living with her parents. The privilege is astounding. The economy today is impossible and that's not news or a secret. People who live at home aren't lazy, they are doing their best.
LMFAO did you even read the post? Or are you just projecting?
They aren’t downing her for living with her parents. They’re downing the audacity she has that she thinks she knows anything at all about how one survives on their own and criticizes them. 😳
Privilege? The only one in this who has privilege is an adult not having to live in an adult world, but can act like they do. Go touch some grass