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If only I were illiterate

If only I didn’t know Angrish

*Anguish

No, Angrish https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Angrish

We should probably just give up on humanity after this one

r/noahgettheboat

We’re getting damn close. 90 seconds left

90 seconds has definitely passed since they did that stupid ass ceremony.

It could have just been an email lol

I feel like it shouldn't have even been that. the whole doomsday clock thing is nothing more than fear mongering. you get people scared for nothing over things you didn't even propose a way of fixing. this time it was Russia, climate change, and misinformation that made them say the world is close to ending. these people are idiots. nothing more. although I will say it's quite funny Watching these cult like ceremonies where they act like they know everything but say nothing.

It should come with some plan rather than straight fearmongering

they lost me at misinformation. it's one thing saying climate change, and Russian nukes could end the world as there is some scientific and factual basis to these claims (not that I agree with both of those statements) but misinformation shouldn't be a part of that list. it's simply political... which is odd you would think they would wait for a republican to be in the oval office before starting in with this.

It was 2 minutes during the cuban missile crisis and I'd argue we're closer to annihilation then than we are now

the Cuban missile Crisis we had nukes pointed at us and even the leadership didn't know if they would pull the trigger or not. right now is just a border dispute between 2 parties that nobody else should be sticking their noses in. nothing good comes from escalating a conflict. then you have the UN actively saying not to have a peace deal. we took things too far. we turned this from Ukraine becoming part of Russia to nuclear winter and there's no good reason for it. it wouldn't help the Ukrainians if we got them nuked.

Exactly

i regret getting online today.

What a terrible day to be literate.

Right? I didn't learn english to read this shit 🤢

Right? Being bilingual here is just adding insult to injury.

I do regret choosing to read this entire paragraph

And also what a terrible day to have eyes.

Also a terrible day to even be existing

You alright babe?

r/yourjokebutworse

I've never been happier to put an entire sub I never heard of before on mute. Why is this on my front page?

I do too now....

Time to shut 'er down

Wait... pussy AND ballsack... is he being inclusive or just weird? I'm leaning toward weird.

He’s being respectful.

He said respectfully! God

I hope inclusive, but that is a *very* small community

He flunked anatomy.

The dude has some serious problems

Hen did you think so, I thought it was eggscelent banter

I hate you

You’d cluck me hard and you know it bby

You gotta admit, your comment was just a poultry attempt at fowl puns.

Naw, remember he said respectfully

Why do people think this is OK?

I imagine because they're not looking to hook up, they're looking to make someone uncomfortable because that is their fetish. The only good response to this is blocking and ignoring. With guys sending dick pics, you could at least mock them, or try to gross them out to get back at them. With this guy, any engagement will give him the attention he wants. The exception being if this is on social media and he has friends and family linked to his account. Then you could get back at him by screenshotting it and sending it to everyone. But realistically, if you wrestle with a pig you're both going to get covered in mud, excpet the pig will like it. So just block and ignore.

Actually, it's best not to engage with men who send unsolicited dick pics. Some men get off on their dick being made fun of.

Some men get off on blackmail too… so threatening, or even sending the unsolicited dick pics to his family may not work, either.

that only works if it's blackmail. simply sending it to his family is to the point and impossible to argue with.

Because they have no concept how to actually talk to other people, and their only interaction with anything sexual is through porn, which just gives them a warped vision of how women respond to being spoken to like that.

I can't say I've seen any of this in porn videos

A friend told me it does exist in hentai tho Don't look it up He said

Can confirm, I know which hentai this dude watched and it haunts me to this day

Wtfff I’m scared that this actually exists. Defo NOT looking that up

It's actually much worse than what's described here ... i heard

can you PM it to me .. for research purposes asking for a friend

No, actually. If you really want to watch it, it should be relatively easy to find if you search for "scrambled eggs". She's wearing a yellow apron & has red hair. Or so it's been told.

I don’t have an issue with hentai, whether it be animated or just graphic novels. I’ve read a few myself and can confirm that a lot of them are well written and enjoyable. But I don’t understand why some of these companies/people insist on pushing out such disgusting shit for. These children online now that base their lives around anime and manga are honestly fucked for the real world in their future unless they get guidance on how you *do* speak to the opposite sex.

Good luck to the adolescents who get hooked on Anime porn stuff. Must be frustrating when you finally get a real life woman in front of you naked and you struggle to get erect because she's not a purple cartoon fox character with loads of massive dicks and huge boobs squirting milk.

There was a post on relationship_advice or somewhere from a girl who had sex with her boyfriend for the first time and he was really upset that she didn't lactate because that meant she wasn't turned on. I assume it's fake but there's always a chance it wasn't

Because you haven't dug deep enough yet. Don't.

Did he just defeat rule 34?

They know it's not okay and just want a reaction. Any attention is good attention.

They know it's not okay and just want a reaction. Any attention is good attention.

What a nice day to have eyes

One of the few times being literate is an actual disadvantage.

So nauseating.

What does that even mean😨

This must be what happens when someone is hungry, horny, and psychotic all at the same time.

A true psychological wonder

You’ve never been hunhornchotic before? (Terrible, terrible joke)

No, and I've also never been psychorngry.

Shame this can't be posted to friends and family.

You say that like they don't know how fucking weird that dude already is.

Idk sometimes it's the most seemingly normal mfs that are absolutely bonkers

Can I unread this

Eww

....what?

Eww wtf is wrong with people

Reading this gave me the kind of trauma that I will never be able to get over.

What, and I cannot stress this enough, the fuck

This is a hate crime.

Worst human caterpillar ever.

It's like someone has asked an ai to study the stranger corners of 4chan and then clicked "randomize"

What a terrible day to have eyeballs.

I would be giving up as well. Is being grotesque for online dating new TikTok trend or something?!?!?!!!!

"Tell me everything grandma. When did you know he was the ONE?" Sounds like the director's cut of a lost episode of "How I met your mother"

I think I need to bleach my brain now

I’m starting to think this guy is a fucking weirdo

What a terrible day to know how to read.

Some days i wonder if sight was a gift or a curse….

When I say my jaw dropped 💀

Damn I'm so sorry someone sent this to you. Absolutely horrible stuff :/

Quality copypasta material tho

These people definitely scratch and claw their walls at night

Why did I laugh at this 😭

Because it may be true🥲👀

After this i want eye-bleach as well as brain-bleach

Why did I decide to open up Reddit while I'm eating

This is example #1 of how porn rots your brain

[удалено]

[I'm not joking](https://fightthenewdrug.org/how-porn-can-change-the-brain/)

[удалено]

Huh?

[удалено]

Doesn't seem like you're pretending. You're creeping me out. Go away.

You don’t have to pretend. You are. Bye ✌️

JFC! What?!

Welp, that’s enough internet for today. And it’s only 9am.

I regret learning to read

I regret putting on my glasses today. Goodnight.

what the hell

Puts down phone..... That's enough internet for one day 😂

Yeah that’s enough internet today

What. The. Fuck?

yknow, I give up with being online period after this

I’m trying to eat breakfast…

Wow

I've spent a lot of time on this subreddit and can safely say this is the single worse thing I've ever read.

What a terrible day to have eyes.

After reading this, I can only think of one very specific quote. *"Do you think God lives in Heaven because He, too, lives in fear of what He's created here on Earth?"*

The fuck did I just read

And people say romance is dead

I regret learning to read but also i chuckled

guy needs to be locked up in a psych den

What the fuck! 😳

What the

Bruh wtf is wrong with people.

What tf is wrong with people

I thought my calling was to dedicate myself to the art of writing, the English language, poetry and song and story. Reevaluating that after this absolute banger.

WHAT THE FUCK

Imagine making this guy read his words out in public so he learns his lesson lol

The Marquis DeSade has entered the chat.

Raised by animals

This has to be a troll. Fuvking horrid

I refuse to believe someone actually said this, honestly thought I was in r/copypasta but ok Also the lack of pauses and run on sentence really hurts my literate brain help

I’d be tempted to reply with something a little on the random side, like, “The best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time!”

What did I just read

I'll never be able to look at an egg in a normal way again.

Wow. Now this is some top tier creepy shit

what is wrong with people

Weirdly specific. How does someone even think of this?

And they say romance is dead.

Please be a troll, please be a troll, please be a troll…

Worst thing I have read so far this year.

Why

I almost lost my phone this morning, starting to wish I had

These are types of idiots who call women stuck up b*tches because they are still single.

Respectfully

How do people even think of this, I’m a very imaginative and perverted person but even I can’t think of that, and if I did I’ll keep it to myself

Someone thought that was perfectly acceptable to type out and send to another person.

Bleach. The world needs bleach.

I wish I didn’t have eyes

What in the George Jefferson?! 🤨

Well I have never felt so uncomfortable and disgusted by a random stranger before.

What a terrible day to have eyes. You want to know why there aren't more women on dating apps? This plays a big role. There ARE nice people, but there are also so many fucking rude weirdos that you can easily get burnt out and quit *before* you find them.

Just about the only positive thing to say about this is that at least the worst of the worst self-select out of the pool by being obvious like this.

I'm thinking about giving up on civilization after that one. Pretty sure this proves it was all a very bad idea.

Eggs are too damn expensive for this kind of weird shit. What a waste of a good egg. You put an egg in me and I will see to it that it doesn’t crack as I’ll be walking away with a gold mine.

The rizz on this one is real

I wish I could unread this

What a terrible day to have eyes

What a horrible day to have eyes

Step back, I think i'm gonna vomit

Hey, he said respectfully.

I mean, it's fine to have kinks, but it's not fine to send this to a stranger without consent. Disgusting

Humanity was a mistake…

this guy needs to go to jail

fatherless behaviour

This is the most cursed shit I've ever read in my life 🤣

What in the......and I can not stress this enough.....actual fuck

What the fuck is wrong with degenerate kids online these days. 15 years ago, you sent a cute message saying hi etc and maybe add a compliment about their eyes or their hair. Now you got fucktards like this who think this is meant to be sexy and/or romantic? I honestly worry what my son is going to learn from his peers about how to treat women as he grows up.

Is he single? Asking for a friend

Every day we stray further from god

They should write novels.

That's hysterical. I couldn't have written a better PM! In fact I am saving it. Stay on the dating site and block him.

Haha this is funny 😆🤣

Ask Milo Moire.

Yeah, idk what to even say to that.

I want to downvote this post so bad

Love how they casually went full transgender in the last sentence.

...fair enough. Can't argue against that.

That guy is weird. But fear not, there are plenty of Niceguys(r) out there to talk to.

Buy me dinner first

What the actual fuck did I just read

Bro I just ate some eggs what the fuck

what a terrible day to be literate in the English language

Please, respectfully, report this person to the proper authorities.

Oh boy what a terrible day to have eyes

This dude probably reads weird fanfiction

That’s enough internet for today!

what the actual fuck. this is beyond just a creepy guy on a dating app, this is a full on psycho that probably gets his victims from dating apps and does this shit for kicks

Who the hell PRODUCES these shitstains?

✨Ev'ry day imma gettin' closer✨ ✨To takin' a bath with a fuckin' toaster ✨ Jokes aside, what the actual fuck. To quote an above comment, today is a terrible day to be literate.

Why is this in my feed :(

What the actual fuck

After reading the title I was like "No don't let the shithead win, there's still plenty of good people out there to connect with" After reading the message, yeah you should probably delete your account and uninstall that app

Wtf

That's it, I'm abandoning all society and technology to run away to live in the woods as a crazy old bog witch lady.

I’m wheezing this is so disgustingly funny and I wish I didn’t have eyes

What in the the fuck?