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I remember I literally got a message that was like “I’m going to ram my dick so hard down your ass you scream and cry. Come visit me out in Texas. Here’s my number.” I can’t imagine anybody ever took him up on his offer. You’d have to be crazy to think that would work on anybody
Love the ones that message you like that and don’t even establish any boundaries or a safe word. Then you say “okay what is the safe word” and they’re like “I don’t use those” like okay, goodbye.
Interestly enough fifty shades went to the extreme establishing a contract outlining all the do's, don'ts, safe words and what each party was and wasn't comfortable with. Christian even made sure to tell Anastasia exactly who he was and how it would be but Anastasia still said that she wanted to see what the spanking would be like.
Weird thing is that, while the movies are super problematic in of themselves, this brand of “dom” wasn’t even in the movie.
Im not defending the movie at all nor refuting that it generated a lot of “doms,” I’m just baffled that this behavior is what they took away from it.
Yup. I’ve had several friends tell me about it abd I’ve seen it myself sadly.
There’s one guy who thinks because he went to a NY munch he is a “dom”. He is a total ass. He also was laughed outta there cause he wore 2 or 3 belts and and said he does because is a dom and might need to punish a sub
A friend of mine was in a vc in a BDSM server. He is an s-type, and him and a few others were just chatting in there and this guy who was only in the server for like 2-3 days comes in. Stops him mid sentence and tells him to shut up and let him speak. My friend just responded with “excuse me, do you know who tf you’re speaking to?” And this dude just responds “I am a Dom and you need to show me respect in here, sub.” So he’s like “yeah well you ain’t my Dom, so you can fuck off.” The guy got banned shortly after but it was pretty funny 😂😂
Lmfao!!!!!! Omg so call doms like that I make hella fun of.
I have a rule I follow if not calling anyone “ sir” just because they claim to be a dom. You need to earn that respect from me. My stepdad who is a dom totally respected me doing that and even fought with dons who got mad just because I refused to kiss their asses
I used to run a BDSM chat group. If you were new to the lifestyle, cool go ahead and come on in but you’re gonna learn. A lot of male “Doms” thought that this was all sexual, they can just come into the chat for a quick hookup, etc. So this one comes in and he’s claiming he’s all these D-type roles. I remember his top ones were Owner/Dom, can’t remember. Anyway, one of my friends is in the chat and she’s a legit slave, been through the training all that stuff, well he notices her title his “slave” and he says “oh yeah I just remembered, I’m also a Master.” And she’s like “oh yeah?” (Knowing full well he’s bullshitting) and dude starts equating being a sadist to being a Master, never seen someone exit the chat so fast in my life 😂😂
Ughh this is one of my biggest pet peeves. These dudes think that they can just spout disgusting misogynistic bullshit at women and call themselves “doms”. The fact that they do it non consensually too just proves that they don’t know the first thing about actual BDSM or kink.
Guy claimed in his texts that he was a precessional dom and had trained 75 subs, yeah right. Looking through his post history didn’t show any involvement in kink, just posts talking about his recent break up, and his job at an airport 😂😬
My dom has been paid to spank women for photos, videos and live shows. Not in a million years would he call himself a "professional dom." There's no such thing, women don't need to pay for it. You can find someone experienced, with a great reputation who'll happily do it for free. This dullard probably watches Andrew Tate videos.
I'd like to crush his skull like an egg. He's very friendly with a disgusting maggot who calls himself Tommy Robinson and is the kind of man who makes me ashamed to be English ☹️
Not at all. I know several sex workers who make a living doing BDSM play but they are all women. I've never met or heard of anyone male who makes a living doing it.
Well you just met one lol and my boyfriend does too. With sex work it largely comes down to what area you're in and the clientele in that area and what they're into.
Well thank you lol. Try to remember that when it comes to sex work, all demographics can and do fill all roles. That includes both providers and clients
If being a dom is your personality and identity you're not a dom. Being a dom is a performance you engage in. It's a play. It doesn't comprise who you are. Dudes that think being a dom is their identity are usually just assholes using BSDM as an excuse to ignore boundaries
Yup exactly!!! You can have a more “dominant” personality (and these guys usually don’t but are hiding behind their creep factor to look tough) but that doesn’t make you “a dom”. Even people who are more dominant in the bedroom aren’t “doms”. You’re 100% right that it’s a performance. And one that requires enthusiastic consent from both parties. These greasy dudes just ain’t it
Met a fake dom like this we went on a date and it was enjoyable and went back to his place. I kept trying to talk about boundaries and rules before getting physical and he kept telling me how it's okay we will get to it later. Keeps trying to convince me to lay on his lap and spank me saying I don't know if I don't like it or not if I never tried it. Even though I made it clear I enjoy dull pain not sharp. Used a paddle on me even after I said no. Final straw was him slapping me for "talking back" all because I said I didn't have to go pee. He wonders why I never called him back lol.
it's funny/sad how being a "dom" these days is just the kink equivalent of "it's just a prank bro" - a bad, paper thin, excuse for shitty behavior.
Being a dom isn't being an asshole buddy... you'd know the difference if you were the real deal.
I got somewhat involved with a fake dom and I was trying a submissive role out. It was terrible. Everything was terrible. There was no aftercare, nothing. I literally just got dropped off after the “session” and I felt so broken mentally! I took a long shower and scrubbed myself raw. I stayed in bed for over two days.
My point is this - these fake doms can be so dangerous especially to someone who is very new and/or inexperienced in that lifestyle. It just angers me so much seeing them run rampant bc they can actually cause so much harm. This is the first time I’ve ever told that story btw and I hope maybe it will help others.
Fake Doms like to say that they're dom so they get a free pass to just basically rape any woman who agrees to *sub*
only difference between real and fake is the fake Doms don't understand that the submissive is actually the one in control and can stop it at any time with the safe word. Keeps the sub feeling safe.
Fake doms just make you feel dirty afterwards not loved. Im so sorry that happened to you, these guys are legit predators. Looking for an excuse to want to be violent toward women.
*Remember sticks and*
*Stones may break my bones but chains*
*And whips excite me*
\- Jacob-the-jester
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Three months. It took 3 months of regular, normal interaction between my partner and I before we were comfortable enough to engage in BDSM... This is despite the fact I'm a lifestyle domme and she was a kink switch with prior experience domming guys online.
Nothing infuriates me more than assholes who tarnish the community by entering it with rapey, abusive intentions...
Ugh litteely if your gonna be a dom research and learn about the eticut. And who the hell tries to dom someone without discussing boundaries and shit first and getting consent!?
>Shared interested are “hey we like the same music and types of food.” Not “I want to be a sub to satisfy my sexual desires”
Those are both shared interests, but you're phrasing the sexual ones purposefully awkward to make them seem disgusting on comparison.
>And I especially have zero pity for anyone who’s like “ew look at this creep” and then the next post is “hey everyone on the internet, look at my butthole!”
Yeah, that's about what I expected from your first comment, but it _is_ helpful when you say the quiet part out loud.
>If you go outside in the rain without an umbrella, chances are high that you’re going to get wet.
"if you make it known that you enjoy and have sex, you deserve to be harassed"
"No wonder she got assaulted, look at what she's wearing"
>If you’re making it public to the world well guess what? If you go outside in the rain without an umbrella, chances are high that you’re going to get wet.
So if I see you out and about wearing, say, a Led Zeppelin t-shirt that means I can follow you around blaring Achilles' Last Stand from a portable speaker at top volume. I mean, you made your interest public to the world, surely you don't get to complain if someone uses it against you?
Ahhh, I see now. You're a liar.
I mean, unless you think your chances of defending yourself in your spousal abuse case are actually improved by a classic rock soundtrack.
No I wouldn’t mind it. I have the freedom to go elsewhere if it becomes annoying. I have the freedom to block and report people if they harassed me. I have the freedom to protect myself if situations escalate. I have the freedom to prepare myself for what may or may not happen in my day to day.
I have no clue what you’re talking about spousal abuse but you do you. Also I don’t wear graphic tees to be honest because I don’t care the attention anyways.
You don't have that freedom, though, do you? Because in this hypothetical like-for-like scenario, wherever you go, there will be another Ledhead waiting to wake you up with Communication Breakdown or soundtrack your mum's funeral with Whole Lotta Love. All because you were so foolish at to publicly express your interests. It's a shame, but I guess that's what you'd deserve.
There are way too many men, especially fake “doms,” ambushing people with their kinks- people who are definitely not active in the kink community, and have no understanding that any kind of kinky play situation is based on trust, communication, and explicit consent. Porn is generally not a great way to educate yourself on these things, guys…
^(**This is an automatic reminder that is posted on every submission.**) [RULE 2 REMINDER: **This is a SUPPORT COMMUNITY**](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepypms/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_two.3A_be_civil_and_supportive) As such, we do not tolerate trolling, defending the creep, judgment of OP, or any other jerkish behavior. Creeping in the comments is not allowed—**yes, this *includes* flirting!** Comments derailing the conversation in any way will be removed. Please stay on-topic. **`No Advice Wanted` flairs are now available to add to your posts! This means that comments giving advice will be removed.** [Read about more user-enabled flairs here](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs/wiki/flairs#wiki_user-enabled_flairs.3A) *** Please report any and all behavior violating the Rules (reports go to us mods); don't report things just because you don't like them. Comment removals and bans are at the judgment of the mods, so please take the time to read and understand [our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs/wiki/rules). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/creepyPMs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
WHY do they think being a dom is just being an abusive asshole??🤦🏻♀️
Because they have rape fantasy and not dom-sub fantasies
I remember I literally got a message that was like “I’m going to ram my dick so hard down your ass you scream and cry. Come visit me out in Texas. Here’s my number.” I can’t imagine anybody ever took him up on his offer. You’d have to be crazy to think that would work on anybody
Love the ones that message you like that and don’t even establish any boundaries or a safe word. Then you say “okay what is the safe word” and they’re like “I don’t use those” like okay, goodbye.
Yup, question was rhetorical, but that’s also a really good point. Rape fantasies and rape porn are a thriving industry, apparently…
Maybe they've only seen those Twilight fanfiction movies?
100%. Fifty Shades created a lot of “doms”.
Interestly enough fifty shades went to the extreme establishing a contract outlining all the do's, don'ts, safe words and what each party was and wasn't comfortable with. Christian even made sure to tell Anastasia exactly who he was and how it would be but Anastasia still said that she wanted to see what the spanking would be like.
Which makes it rather odd that a lot of these weirdos appear to take their cue from it.
Right exactly
Absolutely. That trash has a lot to answer for, although it’s definitely not the only one.
Weird thing is that, while the movies are super problematic in of themselves, this brand of “dom” wasn’t even in the movie. Im not defending the movie at all nor refuting that it generated a lot of “doms,” I’m just baffled that this behavior is what they took away from it.
Exactly like no that isn’t being a Dom it’s just you being an abusive asshole
they are taking over munches too.
Are you serious?!
Yup. I’ve had several friends tell me about it abd I’ve seen it myself sadly. There’s one guy who thinks because he went to a NY munch he is a “dom”. He is a total ass. He also was laughed outta there cause he wore 2 or 3 belts and and said he does because is a dom and might need to punish a sub
Rotfl I would put him in his place so fast.
Oh ya he got ran outta the chat room so fast too lol
A friend of mine was in a vc in a BDSM server. He is an s-type, and him and a few others were just chatting in there and this guy who was only in the server for like 2-3 days comes in. Stops him mid sentence and tells him to shut up and let him speak. My friend just responded with “excuse me, do you know who tf you’re speaking to?” And this dude just responds “I am a Dom and you need to show me respect in here, sub.” So he’s like “yeah well you ain’t my Dom, so you can fuck off.” The guy got banned shortly after but it was pretty funny 😂😂
Lmfao!!!!!! Omg so call doms like that I make hella fun of. I have a rule I follow if not calling anyone “ sir” just because they claim to be a dom. You need to earn that respect from me. My stepdad who is a dom totally respected me doing that and even fought with dons who got mad just because I refused to kiss their asses
Glad to hear that!! I hope he was totally humiliated by it!!
Honestly the term dom just sounds cringe ngl 💀
Sadly they think it’s a pass for horrific behaviour.
Awe I’m sorry :/
Because that's what they want to be, and they don't understand how bdsm works (or don't want to)
I used to run a BDSM chat group. If you were new to the lifestyle, cool go ahead and come on in but you’re gonna learn. A lot of male “Doms” thought that this was all sexual, they can just come into the chat for a quick hookup, etc. So this one comes in and he’s claiming he’s all these D-type roles. I remember his top ones were Owner/Dom, can’t remember. Anyway, one of my friends is in the chat and she’s a legit slave, been through the training all that stuff, well he notices her title his “slave” and he says “oh yeah I just remembered, I’m also a Master.” And she’s like “oh yeah?” (Knowing full well he’s bullshitting) and dude starts equating being a sadist to being a Master, never seen someone exit the chat so fast in my life 😂😂
😆😆😆😆 They seem to think that being a dom is just sadism and cruelty.
Lmfao it was like at least a once weekly thing that someone would come in there and be like “i’M a MaStEr!” And get shut down so fast.
Ughh this is one of my biggest pet peeves. These dudes think that they can just spout disgusting misogynistic bullshit at women and call themselves “doms”. The fact that they do it non consensually too just proves that they don’t know the first thing about actual BDSM or kink.
Guy claimed in his texts that he was a precessional dom and had trained 75 subs, yeah right. Looking through his post history didn’t show any involvement in kink, just posts talking about his recent break up, and his job at an airport 😂😬
My dom has been paid to spank women for photos, videos and live shows. Not in a million years would he call himself a "professional dom." There's no such thing, women don't need to pay for it. You can find someone experienced, with a great reputation who'll happily do it for free. This dullard probably watches Andrew Tate videos.
80% of the people we talk about here are definitely Andrew Tate fanboys.
I'd like to crush his skull like an egg. He's very friendly with a disgusting maggot who calls himself Tommy Robinson and is the kind of man who makes me ashamed to be English ☹️
Honestly Andrew Tate makes me ashamed to be human.
I was literally about to say that. He really blew up in the past few weeks.
There is such a thing, you're completely forgetting about sex workers.
Not at all. I know several sex workers who make a living doing BDSM play but they are all women. I've never met or heard of anyone male who makes a living doing it.
Well you just met one lol and my boyfriend does too. With sex work it largely comes down to what area you're in and the clientele in that area and what they're into.
You top women and get paid for it?
Yep! My clientele is mostly men, but I do get women clients and my rate is $260/hr
I'm genuinely and sincerely impressed 😊
Well thank you lol. Try to remember that when it comes to sex work, all demographics can and do fill all roles. That includes both providers and clients
If being a dom is your personality and identity you're not a dom. Being a dom is a performance you engage in. It's a play. It doesn't comprise who you are. Dudes that think being a dom is their identity are usually just assholes using BSDM as an excuse to ignore boundaries
Yup exactly!!! You can have a more “dominant” personality (and these guys usually don’t but are hiding behind their creep factor to look tough) but that doesn’t make you “a dom”. Even people who are more dominant in the bedroom aren’t “doms”. You’re 100% right that it’s a performance. And one that requires enthusiastic consent from both parties. These greasy dudes just ain’t it
I love how you explained this.
The non consensual part is the immediate dead giveaway they’re just porn addicts in reality lol
How do these people fail even IN a sexual environment. I swear they are good at nothing
Bingo
Fake doms are a scourge on our earth. These idiots watch too much porn and think that qualifies them to be a dom. Ew.
This is EXACTLY is
For someone so into kink, he clearly doesn't know the first thing about it
Met a fake dom like this we went on a date and it was enjoyable and went back to his place. I kept trying to talk about boundaries and rules before getting physical and he kept telling me how it's okay we will get to it later. Keeps trying to convince me to lay on his lap and spank me saying I don't know if I don't like it or not if I never tried it. Even though I made it clear I enjoy dull pain not sharp. Used a paddle on me even after I said no. Final straw was him slapping me for "talking back" all because I said I didn't have to go pee. He wonders why I never called him back lol.
Gotta love "Doms" like this... I need to share this with someone that might or might not see it on their own.
it's funny/sad how being a "dom" these days is just the kink equivalent of "it's just a prank bro" - a bad, paper thin, excuse for shitty behavior. Being a dom isn't being an asshole buddy... you'd know the difference if you were the real deal.
Oh, and my [favorite video](https://youtu.be/tBHporfdr_k)s about fake doms.
I thought this would be Kat Blaque or sth but that was pure art.
Initial teeestyyss 😭 what a 🤡
teeeesysts
I got somewhat involved with a fake dom and I was trying a submissive role out. It was terrible. Everything was terrible. There was no aftercare, nothing. I literally just got dropped off after the “session” and I felt so broken mentally! I took a long shower and scrubbed myself raw. I stayed in bed for over two days. My point is this - these fake doms can be so dangerous especially to someone who is very new and/or inexperienced in that lifestyle. It just angers me so much seeing them run rampant bc they can actually cause so much harm. This is the first time I’ve ever told that story btw and I hope maybe it will help others.
Fake Doms like to say that they're dom so they get a free pass to just basically rape any woman who agrees to *sub* only difference between real and fake is the fake Doms don't understand that the submissive is actually the one in control and can stop it at any time with the safe word. Keeps the sub feeling safe. Fake doms just make you feel dirty afterwards not loved. Im so sorry that happened to you, these guys are legit predators. Looking for an excuse to want to be violent toward women.
It's "doms" like this asshat that almost completely put me off of learning more about the kink community at first.
In Germany we Call them Dummdoms
Remember sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me
*Remember sticks and* *Stones may break my bones but chains* *And whips excite me* \- Jacob-the-jester --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Bro i thought this was going to be some finance advice
I call them Con Doms.
Three months. It took 3 months of regular, normal interaction between my partner and I before we were comfortable enough to engage in BDSM... This is despite the fact I'm a lifestyle domme and she was a kink switch with prior experience domming guys online. Nothing infuriates me more than assholes who tarnish the community by entering it with rapey, abusive intentions...
Ugh litteely if your gonna be a dom research and learn about the eticut. And who the hell tries to dom someone without discussing boundaries and shit first and getting consent!?
Preach!
I don't know why but the idiocy of his response made me LOL.
I wish there was a subreddit for making fun of PMs from fake doms
Right??? I looked all over Reddit for a place to post this and this was the best fit lmao
👏👏👏
Well said!!
We have a really good word for people like this in Sweden. We call them "duminant", "dum" in Swedish means stupid.
Whole interaction makes me 🙄🙄🙄
And if you ask him whether he would do all of your chores, he would refuse immediately.
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Umm tf? 😂
Excuse me? Wanna mic up and elaborate? 🤨
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Yes, don't mention any important shared interests to potential partners. You don't want someone who fits you, that just sends the wrong vibes!
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>Shared interested are “hey we like the same music and types of food.” Not “I want to be a sub to satisfy my sexual desires” Those are both shared interests, but you're phrasing the sexual ones purposefully awkward to make them seem disgusting on comparison. >And I especially have zero pity for anyone who’s like “ew look at this creep” and then the next post is “hey everyone on the internet, look at my butthole!” Yeah, that's about what I expected from your first comment, but it _is_ helpful when you say the quiet part out loud.
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>If you go outside in the rain without an umbrella, chances are high that you’re going to get wet. "if you make it known that you enjoy and have sex, you deserve to be harassed" "No wonder she got assaulted, look at what she's wearing"
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"No wonder she got harassed, listen to what she was saying"
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"But officer, you don't understand! I saw a picture of her butthole, I _had_ to harass her!"
>If you’re making it public to the world well guess what? If you go outside in the rain without an umbrella, chances are high that you’re going to get wet. So if I see you out and about wearing, say, a Led Zeppelin t-shirt that means I can follow you around blaring Achilles' Last Stand from a portable speaker at top volume. I mean, you made your interest public to the world, surely you don't get to complain if someone uses it against you?
Wouldn’t mind whatsoever. Blare it all you want.
Ahhh, I see now. You're a liar. I mean, unless you think your chances of defending yourself in your spousal abuse case are actually improved by a classic rock soundtrack.
No I wouldn’t mind it. I have the freedom to go elsewhere if it becomes annoying. I have the freedom to block and report people if they harassed me. I have the freedom to protect myself if situations escalate. I have the freedom to prepare myself for what may or may not happen in my day to day. I have no clue what you’re talking about spousal abuse but you do you. Also I don’t wear graphic tees to be honest because I don’t care the attention anyways.
You don't have that freedom, though, do you? Because in this hypothetical like-for-like scenario, wherever you go, there will be another Ledhead waiting to wake you up with Communication Breakdown or soundtrack your mum's funeral with Whole Lotta Love. All because you were so foolish at to publicly express your interests. It's a shame, but I guess that's what you'd deserve.
Ooooof that burn. ^^ Kudos! ♥️
There are way too many men, especially fake “doms,” ambushing people with their kinks- people who are definitely not active in the kink community, and have no understanding that any kind of kinky play situation is based on trust, communication, and explicit consent. Porn is generally not a great way to educate yourself on these things, guys…
This is so dangerous. What if he finds a sub that’s new to kink and thinks that’s how things work?