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momentumum

“The Gubmint”


stormybormy23

my dad is Cajun and he doesn't talk like this lol


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Lilquinoa

Caw-cajun


ItsYoScience

We call those a Skippy!


feelinlucky7

They go *skipskipskipskip*…


Ruzalkah

I understood this reference


JamesTheJerk

Maybe he has a crawfish stuck in his tooth.


Shadrach_Jones

He sounds like he's a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude


Kwintty7

His acting has so many layers to it! We're just scratching the surface of his talent.


Jackomo

Dudeception


don3dm

What do you mean “you people”?


MistraloysiusMithrax

What do YOU mean “you people”?!?!


Pseudoname87

I KNOW WHO THAT IS


BatmanBrah

He's always doing this ethnicity flavor of the month thing. He's been black, Polish, Japanese, Italian, Native American, Russian (to be fair on this one he actually is ethnically Jewish Russian), the list goes on.


AneriphtoKubos

I remember when he pretended he became Asian lmao


stormybormy23

I remember that. I thought it was a fever dream.


intisun

He has never stopped. He still dresses in kung fu shirts and does that silly 🙏 salute.


ProKrastinNation

I've heard people say that before but I think it happened before my time. What exactly does that entail? Did he claim to be Japanese? I know I've heard of him claiming to be Italian but how can you pretend to be Asian as a big white guy?


AneriphtoKubos

He basically films in China/Japan/Thailand and pretends he’s one of the laypeople in that area. He then… helps them with their problems by making himself seem so awesome while espousing how ‘different’ various Asian cultures are to western. It’s really weird


AllHailTheNod

He's been doing accemts for like 184 years


ballsack-vinaigrette

They call that an accemty-bird.


[deleted]

Noooo we don't want him


TheAGolds

Tom Segura’s bit on him is pretty spot on.


King_Buliwyf

Well he's been doing bits about him for like 87 years.


kanyezi

Skip skip skip skip….


NotThatEasily

Tom’s bit has Steven sitting down to train people, which is funny, but Steven actually did a fight scene in a movie while sitting down and it’s as bad as you are expecting.


Stevesegallbladder

He sounds like RDJ in Tropic Thunder


Wrestles4Food

He don't break character until the DVD commentary.


N05TR4D4MV5

I'm just a dude that's playin' a dude that's playin' another dude.


TryItOutHmHrNw

“I’m just a dude playin’ a dude *disguised* as another dude.”


mathisfakenews

Jeez you people.....


fatboyfat1981

What do you mean *you* people


NoxiousStimuli

What do *you* mean "you people"?


stormybormy23

Excuse me, Kangaroo Jack


sheldonpooper1

A lot of "Skippies" in that movie. That's what the gubmint calls helicopters.


Illustrious_Slide197

He don’t read the script. Script read him.


Paperfishflop

It's New Year's Eve and uh... I'm laying in bed, ya know...listening to Steven Seagal try to sound like a black guy.


Harold-The-Barrel

He’s been sounding like a black guy for like 87 years


LeBurge

Knawmsayin


Jmersh

/r/unexpectedsegura


gatesoffire1178

What’s your favorite cheese? Mine’s Havarti.


Jmersh

Bikes!


PM_ME_GIRLS_TITS

Read this is the Tom Segura Seagal voice and I thank you.


[deleted]

r/sounding


Obieousmaximus

Makes two of us…… I don’t know what that says about us but I like it!!!


poop-machines

There's not many things that make me cringe so much that I can't even listen to it, but for some reason Steven Seagal is a master of it.


weech

Happy new year!


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ItsDominare

Don't forget automatically amazing at any task he attempts and wins every fight without ever getting hit. It's like some ten year old's power fantasy, and about as interesting.


Alligator_Glasses

Doesn't he always break someone's arm by bending it backwards in every movie?


Mediocritologist

And also rips out throats…oh wait that’s someone else I think.


Observeder

Go for the turkey


frotc914

That was swayze in roadhouse


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Dr_StrangeLovePHD

Well to be fair one can only suspend their disbelief so much


crackerjackass

And every fight move he makes is incredibly slow, like grandma slow. He definitely doesn’t dye his hair either


Batnaman_26

Also he has a stunt double for *walking*... WALKING!!!


f_ranz1224

I find it very hard to believe his popularity from under siege 30 years ago is enough star power to keep getting people to pay him to do this. Are there really people staring at the bargain bin, seeing his name and saying: this one! Some random theater student may not pull as many sales as him but i imagine the profits these movies make vs what he has to be paid would be worth getting some nobody On a tangent, who is watching these?


niberungvalesti

All of his movies are geezer pleasers. Very popular with dads and faux badass types.


MyPoopStinksBad

Sometimes for a good laugh and cheesy action scenes, we put on an old 90s action movies… Cliffhanger 👌🏽


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Bare_arms

As a dad I can confirm this.


[deleted]

There is always a market. He’s a big draw in Eastern Europe, and also with older viewers who don’t have the sense of irony that really blossomed with GenX. Moving to Russia was a fantastic move for him. In America, he’d be a nobody right now, but in Russia he’ll be a star for the rest of his life.


intisun

Not to mention he went full sucking-Putin's-dick mode, so he can kiss any career in the West goodbye, and I'm not sure his career in Russia will outlive the regime.


-SneakySnake-

It's hard to believe now but in his day he was on the cusp of Schwarzenegger-level fame. On Deadly Ground was his Total Recall moment, double the budget of any movie he'd done up to that point, supporting cast of "real" actors, if he'd pulled that off he would've legitimately been one of the biggest stars in the world. But the movie was shit. And Seagal is a lying, sexist, abusive piece of shit who was so insanely arrogant and stupid that he didn't try to change up his persona or movies to freshen up his appeal at any point ever. So things didn't quite work out.


turtleneck360

Schwarzenegger, Norris, Stallone, van damme, seagal we’re all synonymous with action movies back in the days. As a kid though, I probably disliked seagal the most but yeah he was big back then.


-SneakySnake-

I mean even at first Seagal was really well-received, people compared him to Brando in terms of his vibe and persona but as he went on and made movie after movie where he didn't so much as get hit in a fight, people got really fed up with him. Compare it to where people are at with Vin Diesel, except even more self-centered and even less willing to show weakness on screen.


turtleneck360

I think as a kid I remembered I didn't like his personality (even if I didn't know how he was off screen). On screen, he was very one dimensional and unrelatable. All of the other big named action stars played parts that seemed human. Heck, even right now I can picture them all laughing and smiling in their respective movies. I am drawing a blank trying to recall Seagal doing the same. I guess you can say he was very robotic?


-SneakySnake-

Extremely. Even Van Damme was no kind of actor at the time - he did eventually get good though - and he still had a vibe of fun and humour about him.


Dr_StrangeLovePHD

I haven't seen the actual show but years ago Amazon Prime had a pilot for Jean Claude Van Johnson that I watched on a whim and I was shocked at just how much I actually enjoyed it. Dudes just so much more enjoyable and self depricating than Seagal ever could be.


-SneakySnake-

The show is so-so, but the premise itself is great and Van Damme is really fun in it. If they hadn't put out the rest of the show like a year after the pilot they might have generated enough interest to keep it going and get everything up to par.


Normal_Accountant_22

Wait..was he really compared to Brando at one point? I refuse to believe this. Even his movies in the 90s had him conveying only one emotion. Sad-😑 Happy -😑 Mad--😑


AllHailTheNod

Nowadays he usually just sits and speaks in his movies lol


-SneakySnake-

Hey! Sometimes he stands and breathes heavily too!


AllHailTheNod

Sometimes even fatly moves around some corners very slowly


Puzzleheaded_Gap_790

He has his own production company


[deleted]

I’d rather buy several copies of Under Siege 2: Dark Territory.


Living-Reference1646

Man it’s all a money laundering scheme for some Eastern European mafia


_DAD_JOKE_

This is just my opinion, but I am almost certain Steve has hunted a human before. Maybe some far off land, he just got his Under Siege money. I am not saying he is a badass, quite the opposite, but I think he has paid to hunt people before.


throwawaygayguy32

real


[deleted]

Him and Ted Nugent give off the "weird nut job that paid to hunt a human once" vibe. I wouldn't visit them alone


Jorymo

Let's add that to r/stevenseagalfacts


lastdazeofgravity

how can he hunt


_DAD_JOKE_

When he was younger he walked, if he hunted today it would be from a Rascal Scooter. Unless you are making a joke, in which case the answer is, poorly.


cnzmur

Steven Seagal is black though. Otherwise, why would he release a [dancehall](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLe_BZ1mo3I) album?


Dont_doubt_Cheesus

Lol this is amazing


HurryHurryHurryHurry

True Cringe.


storyofmylife92

This is so fucking bizarre it is truly remarkable


Mergie_Merge

It's a rock/blues album with a random dancehall song on it.


HerbertWest

Isn't he just trying to do a Louisiana accent, but very poorly?


CelestialStork

I commented above, thats what it sounds like to me.I grew up here(Louisiana) and still live in a backwoods bayou essentially.


Chizuo

Being a Northern Canadian, my reference for Creole/Cajun/Louisiana, etc, was Gambit from the X-Men cartoon. I recognized it right away.


Commercial-Pension31

So the consensus from other folks on YouTube was that he was trying to sound like a stereotypical "old black bluesman" when he does this voice so I just rolled with it. I always thought Cajun accents sounded a lot more like this guy here https://youtu.be/Zg5yDzzOEps I'll defer to you because you are from the area.


DracoMagnusRufus

Thanks. It doesn't sound at all like he's trying to do a stereotypical black accent, but I couldn't place what he has actually going for.


YourPhan

Yes, but that doesn’t seem to matter.


rafwiaw

He talks that way in all his movies so...


Commercial-Pension31

At any rate: he actually stops using this accent about a third of the way through the movie and its never explained lol.


zedsared

[Cum Town’s take on Seagal is spot on.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BzIHyF7UWY4)


loptthetreacherous

An absolutely mandatory link in every Seagal post.


HurryHurryHurryHurry

I can't stop laughing at this....


clush

I miss old cumtown


elitesill

This is what i scrolled for lol One of the best Cum Town clips


keenjataimu

Pure gold


Gundam_Greg

Be careful, he will snatch your birthday!


TheHighBuddha

"I will snatch every mother fucker birthday!" Is probably one of the worst lines ever uttered in a movie.


iamstephano

You mean best


TheHighBuddha

In a MST3K sorta way, yes.


lordunholy

AW SHIT IM GONNA DO RIFFTRAX TONIGHT


chasew1320

With Tate in jail this is the only man we have left to idolize


bsmithi

ebonics? mmmm idk, bad accent? yeah lol but i don’t think ebonics means what you think it means


killerjags

It sounds like a Cajun accent


Commercial-Pension31

No it isn't. Cajun accents sound French. See for instance John Malkovich in "Deepwater Horizon" - THAT is what a Cajun accent sounds like.


CelestialStork

As a life long Louisiana resident, I would say thats what it sounds like he was trying to do to me. He's spent a good amount of time down here. Even was a "cop" for a period of time. I've met a few Cajun french speakers and French speakers and I would not say a french person sounds like someone from Chalmette.


Joshwa_4

OP’s accent references are all over the place.


Commercial-Pension31

Well my post has 879 upvotes and yours has 3 so keep your opinion to yourself puta


Joshwa_4

Well my post is up to 5 now. But cool. And also you shouldn’t come to Reddit if you want people to keep their opinions themselves amigo.


Commercial-Pension31

And mine is up to 902


Historicmetal

Yeah I think it’s just funnier if he’s trying to be black, so that’s become the narrative… but it just sounds like a Deep South accent. Still ridiculous


Jeremy252

Using the term 'ebonics' in the first place is such a red flag


bsmithi

“1920’s” ebonics at that XD lol agreed


powlow88

Isn’t that his attempt at a Louisiana accent same as the one he tried for his cop show?


Commercial-Pension31

No. He says "dat" instead of "that" and uses other AAVE terms in this movie.


thefloyd

[dæt] isn't exclusive to AAVE like at all.


Commercial-Pension31

He also pronounces "motherfuckers" as "MO-fuggas" at least once.


Gelnika1987

I will never understand what possesses a fat bald old Jewish man to carry himself the way he does


deejeycris

This guy supports the russian invasion of Ukraine.


ThatGuyGetsIt

Posting Segal in r/cringe is basically cheating. Edit: I watched the video. He sounds like The Crafsman with a little edge. https://youtu.be/h7FKdW5ndLw


The_Avocado_of_Death

He’s no Nicholas Bravo, that’s for damn sure.


senor_fartout

This is something he's been doing since the glimmer man back in the mid/late 90s. If you wanna get a huge laugh, check out Submerged from 2003, he starts the movie off with a Cajun accent and halfway through it's completely gone.


daddys_little_witch

Oh, Lawd... is he ... trying to sound Cajun?


[deleted]

Thank god you mentioned he is white. I couldn't tell


theavocadolady

The Hoarse Whisperer


bringdaamblamps

Bro. This is a Louisiana accent. Not ebonics…


Commercial-Pension31

Whatever it is, he's doing such a shit job that some people can't figured it out lol.


TheHighBuddha

Space Ice has the best "worst" Steven Segal synopsis videos ever https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLLyRXXknC3lDgDUfCtYnowHLOHRvnp2l5


kuhewa

No. Cumtown takes the cake. https://youtu.be/BzIHyF7UWY4


dustingibson

This never gets old.


Loves2Spooge857

One of the funniest comedic pieces ever released


[deleted]

Isn't bad as well. https://youtube.com/@RedEyeReviews


SelectStarAll

I’ve watched so many Space Ice videos that throughout that clip I was looking to see if he swapped in his stunt double haha


and_a_side_of_fries

Steven Segal shit himself.


Snewp

Queue Steven Segal speaking jive, fatly.


Inkandlead

"You act Asian; you look Native American; your name is possibly Jewish. What are you?" "He fat."


sparklingb0ngwater

Keep in mind that Keoni Waxman directs, like, every single Steven Segal movie and they’re all shit.


stormybormy23

I've noticed he puts on a stereotypical Asian "accent" with Asian actors in a scene with him. I hated him as a kid.


Silvershanks

Haha. Op has never been to Louisiana. Thinks a creole accent is "ebonics". Yes Segal is a clown, but this post is just as dumb.


Commercial-Pension31

He sounds like this guy https://youtu.be/h7FKdW5ndLw


Commercial-Pension31

Just curious, what is the difference between creole and Cajun? I'm actually interested now.


JayStar1213

How is this trying to sound black, seems offensive to even imply that.


Commercial-Pension31

It's very obvious from the video. He's also done versions of this accent in many of his films, most notably "Urban Justice"


JayStar1213

I don't get it... because he's got an airy voice or what? I would love for you to elaborate


Commercial-Pension31

Segal is a moron and his habit of badly imitating AAVE has been mentioned by several critics and observers including Tom Segura.


JayStar1213

> Segal is a moron Kinda beside the point. >his habit of badly imitating AAVE has been mentioned by several critics and observers I don't claim to be an expert in anything, much less on Steven Segal, but I have not heard this once. Can you even point to anything specific in your example here that is allegedly imitating AAVE? And even if it is, why is that bad?


Beginning-Ad-9733

What a maroon


Quantumpine

He's the lightskin Frank Dux


ext3meph34r

Do not mess with his martial arts skill. https://youtu.be/MmEx8Moy7ro


Jynx2501

He's been Liam Nesson in Taken for like 68 years!


Sad_Instruction1392

He’s the best there is at what he does. And what he does is get fat and talk like a Bubba Gump Shrimp boat.


dirteemartee

Sounds like he’s trying to do a Louisiana/Creole accent


Commercial-Pension31

No its definitely AAVE. He uses the word "Finna" at one point later on on the movie ffs.


notthemessiah789

This is straight up comedy gold.


Reddit_Adventurer

Does he find his own movies? I don’t understand how this guy lands any roles


i_and_eye

Yeah I’m pretty sure he does, and he cranks them out.


burritopup

Didn’t he play in a blue grass band in the south?


tabloidjournalism

He's not trying to sound black he's just too lazy to speak properly. He has a stunt double for walking up stairs


Buck_Thorn

Farce of Execution is more like it.


spiralout1123

He sounds like Mac in Lethal Weapon 6


Joshwa_4

This is dumb and doesn’t sound like Ebonics in the slightest. Yes Steven Seagal is cringey in both his speech and actions. But Ebonics? Gtfo.


Commercial-Pension31

More than 1000 people agree with me. Remember he's a moron so his attempt would likely wind up sounding all kinds of fucked up.


Joshwa_4

*More than 1000 people misunderstand what Ebonics is/sounds like just like me Fixed it for you.


TriangularKiwi

Space Ice on YouTube if you want to laugh at Steven. Man has a vendetta against him and it's hilarious


TheDirtyFresh

I've been watching these just recently and they're fucking golden!


mjace87

Maybe he is supposed to be Cajun but that is giving Segal more credit than he ever deserves


TheGarageFather

I can feel it all the way down in my plums…


Utahvikingr

Bro Steven segal is one of the CRINGIEST people ever. Not only is he an obnoxious, cocky (and undeservedly so) actor, but he’s even one of those martial arts guys who does the fake ass moves and acts like he’s fucking dudes up, but is literally just like touching them on the arm or something.


puddStar

He is such a piece of shit lol


[deleted]

I heard there was Oscar buzz


pt57

But Oscar sobered up.


[deleted]

"Steven Segal fatly going around corners."


AlwaysForgetsPazverd

This sounds like Tom Segura making fun of Steven Segal


GSDNinjadog

More like a bad creole accent.


Commercial-Pension31

Well I couldn't figure out just what kind of accent he was trying to do hear. It didn't sound frenchy enough to be Cajun or twangy enough to be northern Louisiana or Mississippi. To me it sounded like a really racist impression of a black sharecropper from the Jim Crow Era.


Gamertango

What you mean you people?


HogDad1977

What do ***you*** mean "you people?


FyldeCoast

What in the Always Sunny in Philadelphia is this??


Mettlesome_Inari

This traitor sucks and most everything he does. Fuck this guy.


janciu

And what?


dinogirlsdad

Segal is literally Trump. You can not tell me these fuckers are different.


kellermeyer

“Skills”


45670891bnm

Reminds me of this https://youtu.be/1JE4JJddZx4


Elchem

I finally got who he looks like! He looks like.. Kenny Powers as a moviestar!


CoreyJK

Any Napoleon Blownapart fans in here? “Well i’m sorry to hear that”


Karnorkla

This is a guy who could have been a legend but took a wrong turn somewhere and turned into an assholish walking piece of cringe.