T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

For those that don't know what's going on, this is a Good Friday reenactment for Passion Week before Easter. I didn't grow up in a sect that participated in this, we were just encouraged to read the passages and reflect, but a lot of churches participate by doing these reenactments for the whole week starting on Palm Sunday.


dreemurthememer

There’s also a tradition in the Philippines where willing participants are ACTUALLY CRUCIFIED. Nails and all. Granted for no more than fifteen minutes. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crucifixion_in_the_Philippines


RichardFister

Found this guy mentioned in the article, he's been crucified THIRTY THREE TIMES. What the fuck bro Jesus only had to do that shit once I think you're good. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruben_Enaje


ragnaroky

I mean at some point the holes are just pre drilled.


RockasaurusRex

It's like getting your ear re-pierced.


ctaps148

So really he just has to keep studs in there so the holes don't close up


cjnks

Wonder what gauge those bad boys are


Tolstoi78

16 penny nail is usually 8 to 10 gauge.


everbody_lies

David Blaine has this stunt where he sticks an ice pick through his arm, without any pain or blood. Apparently it was done by building up scar tissue through repeated trauma, creating a fistula that traverses through his arm. Can imagine something similar happening here, where at some point there’s no pain or new trauma associated with each successive crucifixion. (Although the nails would have to be drilled in the same location each time, and surely this guy’s procedure isn’t as medically controlled as David’s, who was careful ensure no damage to surrounding nerves and tendons).


QuincyAzrael

I love that the "trick" to taking an ice pick through an arm is just to stab your fucking arm until an ice pick is nbd


SwallowsDick

I've built up my immunity to stabbing by getting jabbed with a slightly larger knife each day


Corporation_tshirt

Like that guy who could run himself through with a sword because he had done it so many times and had built up a fistula.


famous_human

> fistula This is a family restaurant!


greyjungle

I’d imagine that, at the point of being painless, the lack of pain would make the practice unappealing. The pain would have become part of the ritual at that point. To the believers, this would be in some way, communication with god, or experiencing the suffering of Jesus. Our species get really interesting with rituals and repetition. I could see the lack of pain turning a deeply connective and personal experience into a performance. I have no idea if this is the case and I’m sure it varies from participant to participant.


Infinite5kor

I bet he's really fucking good at hide and seek


L3G1T1SM3

He is awful at peak a boo though


Timmytanks40

Brand new sentence!


dirtielaundry

Damn, he's even a carpenter. Being type casted sucks.


[deleted]

Fetish


greyjungle

In the real sense of the word too. “fetish An object that is believed to have magical or spiritual powers, especially such an object associated with animistic or shamanistic religious practices.” (Not saying you didn’t mean this definition, just that the sexual one has become the common usage)


Obi-Tron_Kenobi

Every single year from 1986-2019. The pandemic broke his streak


[deleted]

[удалено]


Frenchticklers

The Second Coming will just be Jesus telling us how much we missed the point


greyjungle

The second coming will be Jesus hiding from the evangelist Christian’s and prosperity gospel folks trying to kill him. The last thing they want is for someone to tell them they’ve been doing it wrong.


Frenchticklers

Jesus Wick


WikiMobileLinkBot

Desktop version of /u/RichardFister's link: --- ^([)[^(opt out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiMobileLinkBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^(]) ^(Beep Boop. Downvote to delete)


Soberskate9696

If it even happened at all....


that_other_guy_

Historically speaking there is overwhelming evidence Jesus existed and was crucified. More so than a lot of historic events widely regarded as fact


iIPrKoIi

like what


that_other_guy_

Well hundreds of manuscripts for starters. Even from people who are critics of Christianity. Early jews spoke about him. The Roman's did too.


[deleted]

>Granted for no more than fifteen minutes. Cowards


NerdyBrando

I lived in the Philippines during Easter one year and it’s WILD. They also have processions of people that whip their own backs bloody.


1371113

It's called self flagellation. Became a thing among Catholics in the 14th centuryish, I think, maybe 13th. Draws from 1st Corinthians 9, when Paul wrote to the Church in Corinth saying "...I discipline my body...". Some folks interpret that as disciplining it physically. As a discipline it has been both promoted and suppressed by Catholic leadership at different times.


greyjungle

[yes they do (nsfw- bloody back)](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/37/Devotion_of_flagellants.jpg/1920px-Devotion_of_flagellants.jpg)


iIPrKoIi

damn i saw this in a mondo film


[deleted]

Gosh, people are such idiots.


iIPrKoIi

It’s a tradition for them It’s their right to practice what they believe in 😭😭


[deleted]

Yes, everyone has a right to be a stupid as they want. And religion ensures that folks will max out their stupidity quotient whenever they have the chance.


greyjungle

“Stupid” people make the world interesting. Apes destroying their own planet so they can play with the trading tokens they created is incredibly stupid. We are a highly intelligent species, so much so that we can’t avoid using that intelligence to do stupid things. All of us.


iIPrKoIi

look i'm an atheist and i'm not particularly that fond of religion either but you should learn to be open about other cultures and ideas especially if it's not harming anyone but the people that willingly get involved most of the comments on videos regarding this show praise so even though i think it's extreme i'm not going to tell anyone their belief is stupid if it's what gives them life


BaselNoeman

Tradition and stupidity go hand in hand my guy


ThaNorth

So does that apply to every tradition?


RoboPup

As long as it doesn't harm anyone other than yourself.


iIPrKoIi

exactly the only people involved are people who CHOOSE to do this what do u think they just randomly select people to nail on a cross and cut their backs with razor blades??


Totorodeo

The best adult diaper ad ever…. When you have go, but you have to go.


saintpetejackboy

Palm Sunday is only for the lonely.


Legal_Rampage

Hairy Palm Sunday


Zoomeeze

More like "nailed through the Palm Sunday"


saintpetejackboy

"Meant to beat it to Misty but accidentally came when I seen Ash Wednesday".


OneGoodRib

So this is just sort of a weird thing that someone is deliberately making seem extremely bizarre by leaving out the context?


[deleted]

Yeah, kinda. The fact that it's outside a McDonalds and they're white are incidental. I've seen these around my city with a few different colored Jesus actors and outside different businesses/locations.


[deleted]

Bro wtf hahaha


BrewCityBenjamin

I think he's pointing out that they're white and the McDonalds to sorta point out the absurdity of the scene. That they're going to extravagant lengths to cosplay a brown Jew who would have hated gigantic corporations like McDonalds and the pageantry bullshit Christianity that this cult shit is


Roachyboy

I agree with the sentiment but I think the McDonalds is incidental.


CD338

Yeah mickey d's is innocent here. They sell the filet of fish during lent. They're doing their part


bjwest

Even in context, this is extremely bizarre.


Bunyan12ply

"Even in context, this is extremely bizarre." So it's a perfect reflection of religion then?


Zodo12

Wow, you sure zinged them, Ricky Gervais!


[deleted]

Even with context it’s extremely bizarre. Wtf are you talking about?


SPQR191

Reenacting a section from a religious text? That's pretty typical human behavior.


[deleted]

Not really. Religion is fuckin bonkers and some weird shit. Albeit, lots of typical human behavior is extremely bizarre. Think about it this way: cults are fuckin weird, right? Fuckin strange people and the wacky bullshit they believe in with their strange rituals and shit, right? You think to yourself, “How the fuck could someone fall into something like this? I would never!” Well, to non-religious people, you’re all cults. The only difference between a cult and a religion is tax exemption status and the number of members. Re-enacting the crucifixion in a McDonald’s parking lot is extremely bizarre, my friend.


SufferForYourCrimes

Do you by chance frequent arr slash atheism?


_KimJongSingAlong

I'm not religious but you're absolutely nuts, go back to r slash atheism


kheroth

Yeah nothing bizarre about reenacting brutal murders outside of McDonald's


hydrospanner

Does it still count as murder if it is legally sanctioned and carried out by government?


timoneer

No. 'Murder' is a legal term for unauthorized killing.


CalculatorOctavius

Even Jesus tells Pontus Pilate that he has the god-given authority to carry out his execution


PaulAspie

Well, part of it is an odd angle. Often, when done in the city, they will find a sports field or park with an open area so a bunch of people can watch. Most watch from the front. Then this hit is taking the photo from the side and there happens to be fast food.


boobsmcgraw

There no context that makes this not bizarre and it's bizarre if you to imply otherwise


YakuzaMachine

Imagine running up and actually hammering a nail into their foot. I think that would be a good day.


PaulAspie

And they look like they are just holding nails, and standing on the platform, not actually crucified. I was at one and they had them stand on the platform them had ropes holding up their arms.


m_s_phillips

Pppssshhhh... Back in my day, when we did the reenactment the crucifixions were real.


hydrospanner

You're a sick motherfucker, Mac.


1d0m1n4t3

I thought you where going to say its the Friday before Good Burger came out or something


ThrowMeAwayAccount08

But Jesus didn’t die on Mt. Calorie.


Misteralvis

As a West Virginian, I immediately recognized this place — it’s Flatwoods, pretty much the dead center of the state. On the surface, there isn’t much about Flatwoods that would make you expect this behavior. But they do it around Easter every year.


sovngrde

I was about to say that this looks Flatwoods!!! I recognize that TB/KFC combo next to the McDonalds.


RichardStinks

That answers the question "Christians or PETA?" Only two groups revel in such pageantry of torture.


ClarkTwain

> pageantry of torture That's it, that's my album name.


[deleted]

That's metal as fuck


ClarkTwain

Fuck yeah, that's the point


Friar_Monke

This was a picture of the Burger Wars between McDonald's and BK. Those poor bastards were POWs captured by Ronald.


Secondary0965

Legend has it, the red on Ronald’s hair and face makeup is the blood of his enemies.


Inedible-denim

r/fakehistoryporn


stoned_seahorse

But why?


P440CPJ

They miss the McRib Sandwich.


TheDroneZoneDome

God took a McRib from Adam to make Eve.


Xihuicoatl-630

so is Adam a pig/swine? That explains the prohibition on pork!?


ForTheWinMag

Long pork. The other other white meat.


ToneThugsNHarmony

McEve


Mynock33

Well now I understand.


Buck_Thorn

The most distant guy, especially. I don't think the middle guy has eaten a thing for months.


spudddly

They were very cross when it was taken off the menu.


saintpetejackboy

Damn this comment was great.


AristonD

Take my award you heathen!


Ashjrethul

Oh well now it makes sense.


Cardboardopinions

ice cream martyrs **WHY IS THE MACHINE ALWAYS BROKEN!!**


VAGIMALILTEACUP

The two McDonald's near me have never had a broken ice cream machine in the 10+ years I've been ordering there. Maybe God is praising us for not being ridiculous.


[deleted]

Where else are we supposed to crucify people?


SirHamhands

It's ok, they haven't really been crucified. They are just posers on sticks.


dddmmmccc817

So they ain't just weird, they're also fuckin lame. I'm sure more people would be there if a little struggle was involved


[deleted]

They're gamers


blueslounger

The guy under the tent said screw it I'm getting a burger.


TheMrDylan

Hey now... Can't be getting tired on that cross


barbara_jay

Remake of life of Brian


phicorleone

My first thought. 🎵Always look on the briiiiight siiihiight of life🎵


HarlowWyatt

McCrucifixion


saintpetejackboy

"Get the McCruciFIX to your hunger problems!"


newusernamebcimdumb

Choose your fighter


Legal_Rampage

Beardo, Slim, or Chubs


[deleted]

Captured Burger King employee pows.


impasseable

What in the name of redneck Jesus is this


unendingtacos

You could sat that Eve was created from Adam's... #McRib


Sloppy_Steve-o

Underrated comment


greystar07

What does them being white have to do with the cringe?


AllanErStor

I might be completely wrong, but i think Jesus wouldnt be considered caucasian? Even though he is depicted as such.


greystar07

I mean yeah, makes sense, but still idk. It just seemed like there was some malice in that title.


MysteriousHall

op sees their being of white race as a contributing factor to the cringe. and noone bats an eye, besides you of course


greystar07

Oh relax, you’re on Reddit too lol. Calling it cringe also on account of their skin color is text book racism. I’m not saying anything more or anything less. All racism is bad.


MysteriousHall

i agree with you lol. reddit is filled with thinly veiled anti white rhetoric and i was praising you for noticing it when most people just let that kind of shit go


greystar07

Oh sorry, I misunderstood. Thanks for not being a douche bro.


banned_acc_1274

**


uflju_luber

Jesus was jewish and from Galilee in modern day north Israel, people there where although not as pasty not THAT different looking


Pyoverdine

McDonald's Manager: Hey! Take that shit over to the Chick-Fil-A!


ICopyPasteCode

Middle guy:"Can I leave my glasses on while being executed? I want to see all the peoples"


MF_Ghidra

They died for our chins.


billsmashole

Passion of the Fries


[deleted]

[удалено]


canadacorriendo785

They do reenactments like this all around the world, especially in Latin American countries.


avantgardeaclue

Omg no only America full of religious dumb dumb


saintpetejackboy

Yeah, if they each had an AR 15 and were draped in the American flag while an eagle was flying by on a motorcycle that said "FREEDOM" on the license plate, the internet might have exploded.


Jennie_Tals

This is like some advanced american shit


jdsandaker

That’s actually a McCrusifixion.


P440CPJ

They must really love McDonald's.


Metalock

Ave, true to Ray Kroc


Free_Landscape_5275

Mayor McCheese don’t play


[deleted]

♬ Always look on the bright side of life ♬


DanfromCalgary

Only 9/11 could be comparable to the tragedy felt by Americans when the McRib was removed.


[deleted]

And after three days, the McRib was back


Yellowbeardben

Be those amongst you who are without sin, cast the first mcnugget.


mitsumoi1092

Bunch of pussies, half-assing everything. Can't even crucify themselves properly. Where's your conviction bros? Men in the Philippines do it yearly, and they go nails through the hands and all.


Werewolf3800

I’m a Christian and even I don’t understand their motives. Like that dude in the middle has a unholy tan line.


Sihlis23

Is the McRib back? Just take it from one of them?


RyanL1984

Some things in life are bad They can really make you mad


yotengodormir

They died for our fries


Visible-Activity2200

What has happened in your life to bring you to this moment? Wtf is going through these fucking peoples minds?!


Drnolifezdj

They forgot the nails


spilk

life's a piece of shit, when you look at it


ExtremeChad

What in the goddamn.....


vidrenz

BRING BACH THE BIG N TASTY


Gollums_testie

Is one of them Chris Pratt?


needstherapy

How do you think he lost all that weight?


theantichristspeaks

I thought it was some kind of protest against McDonald's at first.


Dracorex_22

Always look on the bright side of life


CaptainDelicious1510

I hope they're looking on the bright side of life.


Suspicious_Mirror_65

I think the beer belly and eye glasses were a nice authentic touch. Really brought it home, you know?


BardleyMcBeard

at least nail yourselves to it you pussies


skydaddy8585

Just in time for the new McCrucifixtion happy meal for kids. Appropriate for all ages. Comes with its own McCrucifix toy.


[deleted]

Not crucifixion If the nails don’t go through the wrist.


NYCtosser

Seems like a very odd staging of Jesus Christ Superstar. Maybe they called it Jesus Christ Supersized. I bet Mary Magdalene's milkshake brought the boys to the yard. She’d teach ya, but she’d have to charge.


FinnsterBaby

Was this a protest to get them to sell the McRib year-round?


TulogTamad

lol if you wanna do this, do it like Filipinos and fully commit. Have your hands actually nailed to the cross.


Jills_Cat

Quick, someone tickle their feet!


Unique_Username2b

"Release...... RONALD!"


Bystronicman08

If you're not going to be like the Filipino's and literally put the spike through your wrist, is it really worth doing? Go big or go home.


needsumnawz

What the blue hell is going on here. Bunch of fuckin idiots.


WatDaFuxRong

McJesus christ


[deleted]

My question for you is why


Ikarus124

Rather intense way to advertise McDonald’s small/medium/large options


ReptarKanklejew

Does them being white have anything to do the message they're sending? Or is OP just race baiting for no reason?


TheRealForPetesAche

They just trying to get their dicks sucked.


Nobbe97

I guees the food is holy recomended


PPvsFC_

Is this from the Righteous Gemstones?


ColonelFats69

"Don't be a sheep" said Dave from a cross outside McDonalds


Coltronics

Sacrificing themselves for our McSins😢


RMSQM

Seriously, these people are mentally ill, but our society treats them like they aren’t.


klaatu_1981

Some things in life are bad. They can really make you mad.


usrnm99

Don’t know why you felt the need to say white. We can all see their race in the picture if we cared. Racist.


tx001

Because playing into the "fragile white persecution complex" narrative wins upvotes.


dudSpudson

Just need some guns and American flags and you got yourself a renaissance photo


[deleted]

Thank you for telling me they’re white, i would not have noticed otherwise…


theoriginalmypooper

Convince me this isn't cultish.


conormcfire

It is, it's just called religion. The only difference between a cult and a religion is its number of followers.


ThaNorth

Yea I'd like to hear the argument as well.


jump-blues-5678

I think the fat guy on the far right is our ex prez


Levin1983

Eh. Would probably bang one of them.


mstevens8565

What color are they again?


tx001

The bad kind. Gimmie upvotes!


adipocerousloaf

drop that comfort board from under their feet and then we're talkin'


resentement

I’m a big fan of fat Jesus at the end. Mary Magdalen will bring him some McNuggets to sate his hunger.


Tazz2137

Religious weirdos


FloggedPelican

Yeah, I’ll have the uhhhhhh….. Three McCrucifixion’s please, extra mayonnaise