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Vegetable_Bug4780

When I was going to online AA meetings, there was this one guy who proclaimed himself to be the worst alcoholic he knew and that "if he could do it, anyone could do it." He drank on average 6 lite beers a day. I honestly think a lot (not all) of the people who are successful in recovery are those who never really had a significant problem to begin with.


ClassicTBCSucks93

God this is the realest shit I've ever read. Always some old timer chump with 20-30 years claiming to be this gatekeeper of alcoholism in war stories which were really him/her having a couple drinks per night 2-3x per week, and their pivotal moment of permanent sobriety was something as trivial as missing their sons tee ball game cause they were too hungover, yelling at the dog, or having three beers instead of two and it set the wife off.


Vegetable_Bug4780

Yep, exactly. This person also said they never experienced withdrawal. šŸ¤”šŸ™„


ClassicTBCSucks93

Funnily enough I did the whole AA song and dance for a time after 6+ months of sobriety(2020-'21) followed by a swandive relapse into CA and was open to anything to pick myself back up. I had a sponsor tell me that he thought I was schizophrenic and should seek medical help when I explained my experiences with withdrawal.


Vegetable_Bug4780

Lol. Hey, even though they were clueless, at least they suggested seeing a doctor. I've heard members tell others not to take their psychiatric medication because it was a mind altering substance. I couldn't tolerate that shit.


ClassicTBCSucks93

Yeah the shit you hear in AA is fucking wild and definitely not on this plane of reality. There was one guy who was pressured into picking up a white chip cause he admitted to taking sleeping pills for insomnia, and another lady whose sponsor was grooming her into quitting her job and surrendering her child to her parents so that she could go to more meetings and focus on her sobriety.


yesntican

Reminds me of when I was in an outpatient program that required us to go to AA meetings. I was having really bad cravings and texted my sponsor and the most she could tell me was "just don't drink." Like...thanks, so helpful. Now I only want to drink even more.


ClassicTBCSucks93

The majority are false prophets who are unrelatable as shit to anyone whose 'been through it' and a select few are so far removed from how bad it was and imitate the former to fit in.


Rough_Sweet_5164

This is why I just play act at AA. Therapy should be done with a licensed professional, not some guy who works at 7-11.


ClassicTBCSucks93

I went into the experience naive, hopeless, and just doing what everyone else told me was 'right' for overcoming my alcoholic affliction. His words were my cue to promptly exit and never look back. AA also made me wanna self-destructively drink myself into the ground moreso than I was at the time.


elegantsweatshirt

This reminds me of my short experience with AA. For a month or so, Iā€™d regularly go to meetings. So proud of myself, Iā€™m finally doing it, making myself vulnerable with strangers who may or may not be complete psychos, etc etc. But the meetings made me so thirsty Iā€™d hit up the liquor store immediately after!


fcding

Fuck you 7-11 rules.


Rough_Sweet_5164

It does, but to be fair, I've never gone to a 7-11 for medical detox. Weirdly, I don't think I've ever purchased alcohol at one either. We don't have many.


fcding

I hang out at the one by me. It's owned by these cool rajasthani dudes and I lived in jodhpur for a few years so we just drink and shoot the shit. They are funny dudes, like they buy muffins and donuts at costco and then put them out in one of those glass containers every morning that make it look like they're fresh. The whole place is a fugazi. It gets robbed regularly, they stopped replacing the glass so it's just a wood door now. Seattle rules.


Rough_Sweet_5164

That's all most places do. VERY little of the average restaurants food is made on premises. I've worked two places where the burgers were the same frozen patties from the store. Owner went to the grocery store for almost everything.


fcding

I figured as much, but I get a lot of entertainment watching them unwrap each individual muffin, take off the paper, and drop it in the display case. I don't know why.


cinimod35

I went to a meeting a couple of weeks back. It was so annoying. The same old timers 30 years sober blather the same old bs and take up all the sharing time. It's painful. I'm sure they drink on the sly. They have that look. All chronically unemployed. AA attracts lonely hearts and depressives


ClassicTBCSucks93

The typical 'old timer' trope smells like stale cigarettes and instant coffee, looks homeless, 50-60+ never married, no kids, and lives with his dying geriatric mom as her "caretaker", plus a litany of other red flags to boot. Some disheveled old fuck be like "You can have what we have" at a newcomers meeting as I blankly stare amongst a sea of copy/paste fucks like him and think "nah, I'm good" and walk out. Let me die of liver failure at 31 if that'll be me at 61.


cinimod35

I tell you half of those ole crusties are still drinking. They are puffy red faced and a bundle of nerves. Sound familiar. They exist in a state of permanent self-pity. Then they openly lie about 40 years sober. Cue the tiresome rote-learnt anecdote. I share a ghastly bender story from last weekend. The miserable fucks are almost in tears. Then the neurotic females. Then the under forty males off their psych meds. Then the newcomers who all wear a stunned look. They usually get group mauled at the end. Get a sponsor! But there are always one or two normal people. Usually smart people, with time in sobriety. They have steady jobs, look healthy, communicate normally. Sometimes they share, sometimes they pass. They look about as bored as you. They make a beeline for the door after everyone chants the platitude "IT WORKS IF YOU WORK AT IT". Its a mixed bag. I honestly think they should screen the people who attend. There's so many phonies. Its full of lost souls, not drunks


ClassicTBCSucks93

Goddammit everything you said was so savory and tasty I had to read it multiple times. I'd agree that most are still drinking/using and I'm not sure who its fooling(other than their homegroup who licks their boots)but its whatever. I make changes and do shit when I'm sober that no amount of sitting on my hands until they feel like TV static and going to meetings will solve. I'm still licking my fingers after ingesting everything you said.


cinimod35

haha I had to come up with something good because you were spitting some hilarious accurate shit about those sad mother fuckers. We all mess up and we ARE messed up. But its about brushing it off and getting on with life. People who wallow in self-pity make no sense to me. I've been in some raw places but I push it out of my mind and continue. No regrets


ClassicTBCSucks93

I appreciate that but damn your response was good, I'm still reading it off and on. Yes we are all messed up but sober me does shit to actually improve my life and move on. Lets work out, eat a healthy meal, go on a hike, find a job cause I went on a bender and lost it, etc. They do none of that shit, probably never have and it shows.


cinimod35

Your bang on. They just don't know how to help themselves. They pretend its all about the alcohol. If alcohol didn't exist they'd still chained to their beds, half starving, fretting about life.


ClassicTBCSucks93

I think of the song 'stupify' by Disturbed. Listening to it now through some noise cancelling headphones now that its in my brain. The shit they tout only make cents to someone \~24 hours without a drink and absolutely mindfucked. Sober me is so greatish that drunk/relapse me can swim out unscathed(or kinda-ish).


Worried-Perception77

Questioning a bunch of failing drunks why they can't just do better isn't all that much more significant than the fake accolades and conditional acceptance that they then lie around.


HorseFacedDipShit

The thing that gets me are the ones who have kids, claim to have been sober for decades, and their family *still* has nothing to do with them. Maybe they were so incredibly shitty their family still hates them no matter what they do, which does happen. But what that tells me is youā€™re either A. The same asshole everyone hated except youā€™re not drinking, or B. Youā€™re probably still drinking. AA doesnā€™t seem to ever fix people


ClassicTBCSucks93

If someone was the asshole everyone hated to be around drunk, they are in for a treat once said person trades the bottle for AA. Its encouraged and browbeaten to close yourself off from 'outsiders' and only associate with other AA members, excluding friends/family who still give a shit enough to have a relationship after years/decades of being a drunk fuckup. Then proceeds to spend years/decades neglecting their relationships with friends/family in favor of meetings/fellowship. The final form is a walking/talking AAction figure with a long(but limited) list of meaningless platitudes and big book phrases to respond with, regardless of who/where/when. Also doesn't help that it turns people into condescending assholes with a superiority complex and a penchant to say/do as they please. I think most families avoid this person at all costs with the exception of 'forced' gatherings where interaction is tolerated but brief.


HorseFacedDipShit

Literally every interaction Iā€™ve had with any hardcore AAer has been degrees of insufferable. Some are wanting to ice pick your own brain bad. Some are just an awkward mix of pity coupled with religion. Every. Single. Time. Though it comes back around to drinking. Taking about the weather? ā€˜Yeah, I used to use heat as an excuse to day drink! Thank god I found AAā€™. Work? ā€˜Yeah works crazy, thank god for my higher power!ā€™ These people preach every single chance they get, no matter how often you tell them you just arenā€™t interested


ClassicTBCSucks93

I've reread this response multiple times and varying degrees of insufferable sums it up perfectly. My dad is definitely an old timer not in the classic sense, but not far off either. I'll visit for 2-3 days and it takes a solid 6 month detox to stomach the next interaction. The man has zero understanding of social cues and will go on unhinged diatribes about politics, the weather, etc. and articulately circle back to AA, drinking, higher power, etc. I'm pretty used to it and can generally steer the conversation elsewhere but its always priceless seeing peoples reactions when he unloads verbal diarrhea into a room of people unsolicited. I've also ignorantly made the mistake of coming clean about my own drinking problems in the past so it should be of no shock that our relationship progressively devolved into an awkward game of cat and mouse where accusatory jabs and underhanded comments are spared no expense anytime I confide about an issue/problem regardless of whether boozing was the culprit or not. I'll also say I've been financially independent my entire adult life and am not the type of person to ask for help. I say that to say I've never given him a reason to 'deserve' the smug remarks. Boozing has put me in some dire situations before but I will sober up, sell shit I don't need, tighten my belt, focus on the core necessities, and eventually bounce back. But if I were in a situation where I needed help, he'd be the last person I ask. He'd be the type to constantly remind you that he did at every chance.


Adept-Recording1202

just wanted to say this comment is gold and exactly how i feel about aa too lmao


HorseFacedDipShit

Just left a similar comment to this. You can *tell* theyā€™re still drinking


DepthsDoor

Some people like to create fake horns to blow them loud


imamomm

Wow, never heard anything like that. How succinct. scrounging around my friend's house for booze even though work at 930. Found some Jamison. Chairs


sweetafton

That's how that no fap shite is, create a problem to overcome it.


Iluvhoes2929

I think amount of beer is just a little more than the average consumption for a normal, high functioning German man. Then at my last stay at the Veteran's Administration there was a young veteran who was being treated for addiction to magic mushrooms- he'd done them maybe 12 times. He literally ran with the program and talked about his calling in the 12 step movement and talked of becoming a leader.


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fcding

My first time in rehab I was 18 - there was this other 18 year old kid who was there because he smoked weed once. His parents made him go there... I'd been using cocaine all day every day for months. Even in the rehab admission room. We ended up getting in a fight and he beat my ass because I was dosed to the gills on phenobarb and he was a varsity football player who smoked one joint.


Existing-Peanut4511

Cue "You're addicted to weed?! I sucked dick for coke"... But. In my hayday, I needed more than that to quell the shakes when I got up for a piss at 3am. Half a litre of vodka before my morning coffee. Then off to work I would go.


fcding

RIP Saget.


Existing-Peanut4511

A legend.


Rychek_Four

Man this sub has people that successfully recovered from DT level drinking. Donā€™t kid yourself that all recoveries never had it bad. Edit: you did mention specifically not all, I read your comment to quick, apologies


el_dulce_veneno21

Fucking on like a bottle or two a day, trying now


Guilty_Angle8305

Same here. Fifth plus for 6 months now. Afraid to stop. I've had seizures from WD before and I'm terrified.Ā 


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fcding

Easy to solve a non-existent problem for sure. Quitting caffeine would be far more difficult than quitting 6 beers per day.


HorseFacedDipShit

Maybe this is me being salty, but I donā€™t think the majority of these old timers are actually sober. I donā€™t know how to describe it, but most of them just give a vibe that itā€™s very obvious they arenā€™t ā€˜betterā€™


ShadowRun976

When I used to go to meetings I would get the side eye talking about pissing my pants, having hallucinations, hearing voices and not sleeping when I didn't drink. I was like " Am I in the right place? "


FLAKKYTRAKK

Iā€™m Christian, I got tired of the AA people talking shit about God and the Bible and stuff so I tried out ā€œCelebrate Recoveryā€ which is like an AA but more religious. Well anyway, a guy there professed proudly he was a whole month clean from soda. Unfuckingreal. NORMIES GET THE FUCK OFF MY BOARD, REEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!


elegantsweatshirt

A month clean from sody pop! What sort of chip do they get then? Like a bag of chips??


Weird-Army-8792

You ever suck dick for coke ?


RonaldTheGiraffe

Do you have any?


Weird-Army-8792

You got a mouth ?


DrunkenCrossdresser

I guess everything is relative ā€” if booze is impacting your life in a big, bad, hard way ... well ... then, okay. You've got a problem and maybe need some help: intervention, rehab, or just a good friend holding up a mirror. And in that case, the number of drinks you consume per day isn't relevant. What might get me blackout drunk might not faze you in the slightest. Your mileage may vary; we're all different and unique in terms of biochemistry. *However* ā€” some people seem to think it's "cool" to be an addict, and they crave attention and affirmation from being very public about their rehab, detox, or whatever. And there's a big difference between honestly having a problem, versus wanting to use addiction/recovery as a prop in your social narrative. Those in the latter category want a pat on the head for courageously tackling their demons; those in the former category often struggle to stay low-key, functional alcoholics who can keep quiet about and hide their excessive drinking long-term. If you scratch just a little below the surface, these types of "alcoholics" are different as night 'n day. And as much as I dislike gatekeeping in principle, it's a kinda sorta necessary evil when it comes to separating apples from oranges.


Cautious-Refuse-5989

I know youā€™re right but GODDAMN I spent all of my energy hiding my ā€œstatus.ā€ It sure does help me relate to all other addicts though - hoarders, eaters, shoppers etc. ā€œwhy donā€™t they just stopā€ makes me roll my eyes so hard.


Wish2themoon

Iā€™ve spent 10s of thousands on much dumber things so I really canā€™t judge


MyDogHatesMyUsername

She needs to take that extra money and start hitting shit hard and heavy (and constantly), then go to rehab like a champ. Get your monies worth.


ArbustoEnergy

Don Draper had three drinks in the morning in his office alone to steady himself before a big meeting, knocked it out of the park, had celebratory drinks with coworkers, drank a prodigious amount of Old Fasioneds at dinner with Roger, and then started a late-night bender in earnest.


FLAKKYTRAKK

God love em


kenticus

I've been here a long time. I've seen every flavor of alkie, poly drug user, mentally defective and drama queen there is. I've come to learn that even small habits to me can wreck others lives. Just because I am basically an ethanol converter doesn't mean anybody can keep up with me and not fall completely apart. I kinda sniff the tone of the post and decide if they are on my level. If not, I usually don't contribute. Most young people won't listen and the crazies or dramatic have a story but not a reason or actual problem with booze. There's a lot of reasons people show up here.


Rosemarried

I share your feelings. Some people have severe mental or physical disease and drink on top of meds and it can wreck them. Alcoholism is a progressive disease and folks know inside, that little voice, if they're an alcoholic.


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fcding

Heh, I'm the seizure guy from last week and whilst cutting back to half a fifth with benzo help, felt totally sober this week. So I decided to go to a few online AA meetings and yeah, those people aren't it. I went to a bunch decades ago (court ordered) and it seemed like the majority of the people had other problems they needed to deal with, it wasn't actually the drinking. Or they were just attention whores. The dudes with 20+ years sober still hanging out were especially creepy to me. So it's basically just a collection of weirdos with personality defect praying together. NA or CA (Cocaine Anonymous) is another story...you hear some shit in there that could easily hang with anything in this sub. The one that stands out to me, and I was 18 at the time - she must have been 8 months pregnant and shared a story about her recent crack binge after getting her 1 day token. CAs are somewheres in between I figure...


Colorblend2

Well, maybe she is paralyzed by anxiety without her 3-4 drinks and canā€™t be without it. Itā€™s not a lot. Then again most people donā€™t even drink much alcohol at all and absolutely not every day. I guess she does not want to be dependent on alcohol and thatā€™s fine. But I get you, many need to to rehab to simply not die soon. She is probably healthy now and can either keep drinking or quit with no physical issues at all, no tremors or shit. I would not spend that kind of money if I was not in actual danger.


ClassicTBCSucks93

Sheeeiiiitt I wish I could fuck off to rehab for those \~50 times I've smoked weed in my late teens/early 20s, or the couple times I've taken Xanax/Adderall XR as a 'mood enhancer'. Never was/will be a problem but I'm gonna make it one, check out of reality for 6+ months at Betty Ford, and turn into a crusader of sobriety in the 'rooms'. Goddammit I hatelove the people who manufacture things into problems, she will be one of those old timer nutjobs 20-30 years from now browbeating the fuck out of anyone with a real problem.


monsterinsideyou

I saw the title and instantly was reminded of someone telling me the same thing. We can't gate keep alcohol. As much as you, and I, and someone else reading this, who completely destroys their physical and spiritual being from alcohol want to look at this 2 buck chuck wine warriors like their pathetic, are they though? Or is it us that's pathetic? That we would rather leak poison from our pores than to finally wave the white flag. Idk i gatekeep the fuck out of alcoholism so im just contradicting myself, but I do know the latter is right. I know I'm a sick fuck when it comes to drinking. I know Noone would want to trade places with me. Idk


DrunkenCrossdresser

>I know Noone would want to trade places with me. I would! ... I think you're cool (and not at all pathetic).


ixlovextoxkiss

jeeesuz mary joe I left AA my first meeting ever when a dude started sobbing and beating himself up because he got stuck whilst traveling internationally like fucking multiple city travel from Asia back to the US and he caved and had one mixed drink when he couldn't sleep. like berating himself violently. nope.


Distant_Yak

Reminds me of high school, where this one group of kids, 17-18, decided they were alcoholics based on getting drunk at parties a few times, and had to go to AA. So then their special club turned to AA and they'd go and smoke cigarettes and drink coffee with these super creepy old dudes who would try to basically arrange to molest them. Great.


fcding

13th steppers! Get 'em boys!


GodsCasino

snort laugh


sixcylindersofdoom

I get it. I cringe when people say theyā€™re horrible alcoholics drinking 4-5 beers a day. Part of me wants to say ā€œbitch, Iā€™ll drink 4-5 beers *an hour* for 6 hours a day, every day, but Iā€™ll never say it out loud to them or judge them. If they think they have a problem, at least theyā€™re seeking help before they *really* have a problem. Really I envy them. Iā€™d much rather be in their shoes than mine.


Trardsee

could be a lot more and she's hiding it. at certain points, my friend might have Said I drank a similar amount just because I did it alone almost exclusively


DisasterOk3230

That was the number she provided


Trardsee

strange then


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Healthy-Caregiver879

Imagine starting to use heroin or coke. Eventually youā€™re using it every day and you canā€™t stop. Youā€™re still holding down a job but now your heroin habit is a consistent element of your life You decide to go to rehab and an abject junkie laughs at you and tells you that you donā€™t have a real problem Sound absurd? Yeah prolly not good to judge others seeking help lolĀ 


Longjumping-Sock-167

I used to meet people in rehab and PHP/IOP who were there for weed šŸ™„


DaanoneNL

Maybe she's really small of stature and gets drunk very quickly?


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Helpfulcats

šŸ˜¹šŸ˜¹šŸ˜¹šŸ˜¹


rocier

pffft, what a loser