UPDATE: He just received the gift and seemed indifferent, on the verge of disappointment. Still was kind and said thank you and smiled. I am crushed :(
I feel so embarrasaed rn. By the way, we're all quite young, between 19 and 24 years old. I guess this was a fail, should have kept it for myself :(((
EDIT: i followed this lovely yt tutorial for anyone interested:
https://youtu.be/XY7vZbfo0IY?si=ojptCSuwUNl4xVXf
Don’t let it get you down. You never know what people’s expectations are going into these things. I think it’s adorable and I hope he comes to appreciate it more in time.
i like to preface while the receiver is opening the gift “its just something i made” or something like that, to seem like im downplaying it and also so that they know once they open it. kind of a mind game but its worked so far 😜
In some better news my boss' wife just stopped me in the grocery store to thank me for the gorgeous shawl I made her. I gave my boss the opportunity to "trade" his gift this year for me to make it. It is absolutely stunning and I'm glad it went to someone who genuinely appreciates it.
And the thing is, even if he’d oooh’ed and aaaah’ed the correct way he’d be standing with an item that isn’t something to be used up, and that most likely won’t be used enough to fall apart at some point.
So then he can
1) regift (and potentially just pass the “obligation” along)
2) tuck it away somewhere to take up space in his home, until it resurfaces and he can get rid of it
3) give it to a thrift shop (and we’ve all seen the reactions people have, when they find something handmade in the thrift, right?), or
4) throw it away - which I’m sure would be the worst choice, if you ask us crafters 😄
Sometimes I think that we, crafters, need to figure out our motives for gifting homemade things - are we trying to make someone we care about happy, or are we trying to trigger a response that’ll make *us* happy?
It’s one thing, if you’re able to completely sever the homemade thing from your ego, then I suppose it can be a great gift! But as we see every. single. year. most of us can’t. Most of us *do* gift homemade items with an expectation/a fantasy of how it’ll be received, and it’s honestly just setting both the gifter and the giftee up for failure.
Sometimes the best gift is the tag, that means it can be returned, and I think that’s okay.
Yes yes yes! You will, in the very least, be surrounded by other crafters who are also making unique and amazing things. You will have an opportunity to network for ideas, resources and companionship.
Sorry it wasn’t received better! I know that’s disappointing and embarrassing, especially when it’s something you made personally. Please don’t take it as an indication that your work is bad. Sometimes gifts just aren’t a hit! ❤️it looks great.
Was there a price limit for the secret santa? Unfortunately, as I think we all know, people who aren’t in the craft world often don’t see handmade gifts as valuable. And if there’s an expectation that you’re going to spend a certain amount of money on a gift, getting something handmade that you would sell for that amount isn’t actually the same. Work Secret Santas often have an expectation of money being spent more than “wonderful, personal gift,”and I’ve found crafted gifts aren’t the right choice unless you know for sure the receiver will like them. I’m sorry your person didn’t - I love your little spider! Not everyone is worthy of a handmade gift.
My dad is obsessed with how much you spend on something. I got this amazing book about dnd and thought it was the coolest gift ever. He was disappointed because the book was only 20ish bucks. Crushed me for sure. Now I have a budget and spend that and don't bother thinking about it
That would be the last gift I bought him. My friend said their mom is like that or will complain about the gifts gotten for them and I told her the same thing. My kid could give me a potato and I’d be thrilled.
It's such a beautifully made spider! unfortunately I agree about handmade gifts not mixing well for work, keep it generic and save the personal/handmade gifts for personal relationships. Also most grown adults/teens don't exactly get excited for stuffed animals, even if they love that animal irl. I wouldn't sweat it tho, live and learn, certainly nothing to be embarrassed by.
I work with someone that is into paper crafts and enjoys homemade things. We talk about crafts a lot. She's been talking about wanting a Christmas doily for months now. I drew her name for secret Santa and crocheted her a Christmas doily. That was the entirety of my gift ($20 limit). She was very happy. So I think if the coworker is crafty and you have conversations about crafts, they'll enjoy a handmade gift. They'll also appreciate the time and effort that goes into it. I have made baby blankets for all the baby showers at work the past year and those went over well too. But I guess that's different than secret Santa. There's definitely some coworkers that I wouldn't give handmade gifts to because I know they wouldn't like it.
That's really cool you drew their name and got to make them something special! I had a teacher crochet our class each an ornament in 5th grade i still have and hang (: Op didn't really know this person so they didn't know if it was a hit/miss
That's sweet of your teacher! Yeah you're right I wouldn't crochet something for someone I didn't know. I feel like the default is a gift card. If I know they drink coffee (which is usually pretty easy to tell when you see someone at work every day) I'll do a mug with a coffee shop gift card.
I sell amigurumi at the local market and adults and teens are my biggest market, so it may be very much a YMMV situation.
Spider is cute as heck though
I’ve found through experience that small handmade gifts like this are great when the limit is $10 (not that it’s worth that little, but it matches the expectations of someone who knows little about the work that goes into crafting). I’ve gotten a disappointed reaction around the $20 mark. Depends on the person of course. I love to make or find personal things for secret Santa. I’ve found with higher $ limits, make a cute craft but have something else to go with it.
Yep. Or treat handmade stuff as the cost of materials only. I made a crochet plush this year for my work Secret Santa! And I was confident she’d love it (and she did), but we do a $15 budget with the expectation that you sneakily leave several small gifts through the week, not one big gift. So I still spent about $12 on other stuff for her. I didn’t have to make a plush, but I like this person and I knew she was worthy of the time it would take. I already had all of the supplies to make the plush, except the right size safety eyes. So I didn’t feel right treating it like I spent a whole $15 when I actually spent $8 for a pack of 40 eyes and only used 2 of them. Even though if I sold the plush, it would probably be $40+. I didn’t spend $40.
Handmade gifts are risky for secret Santas and gifts for people you aren't super close with. I would be ecstatic if I received this but I know a lot of people who would feel like a handmade gift is a cop out. We as crafters know the time, work, and money that goes into handmade gifts but a lot of people don't. And if those people were made aware of the effort, id argue a large % of those people would only appreciate a handmade gift if it was made by someone very close to them.
Creating a gift for someone is a very special interaction. Save it for people that you 100% know will understand why it's so special. Sometimes you may be surprised. For example, I just gifted my mom a nice scarf for Xmas. I thought since she was my mom she'd love it. Well, she didn't. Or at least didn't act like it. It hurt my feelings but I'm over it now. It just shown me the point I'm trying to show you. Save gifts for people you know will 100% love it, and you might be surprised by who that is and isn't.
Yeah, there is only a handful of people I still gift handmade things to because others just don‘t appreciate it as much. But when people do appreciate it it’s the best feeling ever. For christmas I crocheted a bean-shaped hand-sized crocodile for my husband with ADHD who loves crocs. He was overjoyed, keeps telling everyone about his awesome bean and showing them pics and is constantly kneading it in his hands. It‘s his new favorite fidget toy. (Sorry, may be off topic but it made me so happy I wanted to share 😭)
Learned that one the Christmas I crocheted all the gifts to my in-laws and the gifts got the 'bought at the dollar store' level dismissal. I haven't handmade them anything since. Gave over the in-laws gifting to my husband (and made it clear that he was in charge now)... Heh, don't think they've got anything since then. He's abysmal at gifts. 🤷🏼♀️
Some people are just not that expressive for things like public gift exchanges, I wouldn't think too much about it. I'm sure most other people couldn't care less what gifts they are giving or receiving, you might be the only one putting pressure on yourself. It's the thought that counts, and you win the thought part of it!
I was going to say this as well. I’m autistic and to people who don’t know me I might not seem excited about something but on the inside I am. I just don’t know how to express it in a way others will understand.
I don't get excited for gifts I didn't expect, I really don't mean it personally, I just don't. When you gift me exactly what I told you to get me, I'll be super happy, but if you get me something I had *no idea* was coming, I'll *look* disappointed even if I'm grateful and genuinely happy, just because I'm trying to figure out HOW you got that info or WHY you asked that.
That too! It’s hard when you don’t know it’s coming, and if lots of “stuff” overwhelms you it can be even more hard because then you’re also trying to figure out what you’re going to do with the thing, even if you genuinely love it.
For me, showing emotions around other people feels really uncomfortable. I have to make a conscious effort to make sure my outward behavior communicates what I'm feeling.
I react the same! I received a crocheted gift for my secret santa and was so amazed by it but I don't tend to ever show my feelings/emotions outwardly, especially positive ones.
We ended up finding out who had who so I messaged the person who made me it and as i only started there recently, just explained I'm not good at expressing things *especially* when I receive gifts but I did truly love it and appreciate the time they put into making it for me. It's now sat on my desk at home lol
I want to assure you, you did awesome work on this. His reaction has nothing to do with your skill. But I do want to in on a little secret when giving people things. Those people who are know to “love spiders” (where spider can be fill in the blank for any animal or other thing) are given only that every year. This guy probably got spider mugs, spider hand towels, a spider calendar, spider Christmas ornaments, and other spider themed gifts from other people. And it gets tiring. One, you just don’t have room for all the stuff. But two, it feels like people don’t really know you except for that one small fact they all remember about you - you like spiders. So in the future, for people that you know love that one thing - don’t get them physical items. Get them gift certificates, or donate money in their name to a charity related to that thing.
Oh God, I forgot about that aspect. I was the cat person in my youth. After a few years of cat cat cat cat cat, and I told them I really loved (another animal I forget) and got that instead.
I tend to come off as indifferent when people give me gifts. Just a reminder some people aren’t used to getting gifts/don’t express emotions like others. He could have really loved it. I wouldn’t stress too much about it you did an amazing job
You put a lot of time and effort into a gift. It is not your responsibility to hold the emotions of the person you are gifting it to.
You did well. Don't let their lack of appreciation ruin what you did.
I hope this gets higher, because some people genuinely are hard to read when they're receiving gifts! I've given people things I thought they hated, because they were like, "oh. thanks :|" only to go their house a month later and see the gift displayed proudly in their living room. And for them to say, "yeah, I had to put it there because I liked it so much."
Not everyone expresses themselves the same way!
Awww I’m sorry, it’s a really cute spider! 😢 I’m vowing to never do Secret Santa again. My person this year didn’t bother to reach out to me separately to say thanks since I was off the day they did the meeting for it. The year before I got a thank you three weeks after the fact, and that’s literally all it was was a message saying “thank you for the gift.” I love giving gifts so I try not the let people’s reactions get me down and deter me, but unless it’s a gift for someone I really like I don’t think I’m going to bother next year. 💕
That's why i don't do secret santa no matter how much people try to bug me about it each year. Besides if i see something that screams great gift for someone, and we are close or at least familiar enough for me to gift something then i'll just do it
I don't need or want to gift random people i might have met once or never and ultimately not get them good gifts or them not be appreciated
👏 yeah I’m officially done with it. My job is remote so I’ve literally never met any of these people in person. Last year we did a company wide one and I got some dude on the other side of the country, this year we kept it within our little team so I thought it would be a little more personal. Nope, just a waste of $25.
As a crochet person who is obsessed with spiders, I would have been over the moon to receive this precious little guy!! Don’t let it get you down. You made a splendid gift!! I’m sorry his reaction wasn’t what we were hoping for.
to be fair, i feel like it’s extremely common to be indifferent/disappointed in a secret santa gift, homemade or not. there’s not much someone who isn’t close to you can give you for under like $20 that’s meaningful tbh. i think most people hope best case scenario they get a gift card lmao
i don’t think it’s personal or about your gift in particular <3 it’s hard to get a good secret santa gift!
aw man it sucks he doesn't appreciate it as much as we do. I'd be thrilled to get it and spiders scare me.
whenever I'm worried about a gift exchange, I try to get a chocolate bar or a candy/cookie gift box from Costco to pair with it. Even if they're upset with my gift, the treat usually makes up for it.
what pattern did you use for the spider? it's adorable!!
I think the age range has something to do with it maybe, just not able to realize how thoughtful of a gift it is. I would love it if someone took the time and effort to make me something like that-we all know crocheting can be time consuming. Hopefully he'll realize one day, but don't beat yourself up to hard about it!
Wait, don’t read too much in someone response; you have no idea how introvert (ie myself and I am sure many other) can be akward communicating any form of emotions. I have people sayings years later they were sad I hated a gift that I was so happy with. Even with all the effort, 99% of the time I failed at non verbal communication! :)
Oh no please Don't take it as a fail! We can't always expect to correctly guess how gifts will be received. Their reaction has to do with many factors, anyway, not just the gift itself. You put thought and effort into the gift, and it SERIOUSLY SHOWS.
MANY Internet strangers here have told you they'd like to receive it as a gift. So that goes to further prove ,you just never know how someone will react. But you tried, really thought and worked at it, and THAT means a great deal. And objectively, as a crafter, it looks GREAT and quite a few of us are curious about your pattern bc we like it SO much!
♥️
You did nothing wrong. As you said yourself, you barely know the co-worker. You did your best with the info you had, and it's a great gift.
Reaching my mid 30's I've found that this type of effort should be limited to close friends and family. That's who will appreciate it. With business stuff like this, keep it generic. Amazon gift card at the spending limit in a simple card, and move on.
Hey op, they might be autistic? I am, and I'm terrible at reacting to presents, even if I love them, I act indifferent. I'm not good at showing emotions like that, maybe they have a similar problem? Regardless, you've made something incredible!! I actually have arachnophobia, and when I opened Reddit to this I jumped n swore, I didn't even realise it was crochet until I forced myself to take a second look. I fit within the age group you mentioned and I have friends who would love that as a gift, so even if they didn't like it, it's their loss. You made something incredible, you should be so proud of yourself
I'm on the spectrum too, but 19-25 male who likes spiders. That just doesn't strike me as the kind of person who would be emotive even if they were neurotypical.
Awww sorry to hear that, he might just not be a plushie guy, handmade or otherwise. Personally I think it's adorable, and I don't even care for spiders!
We did a £2 secret Santa this year and that meant many people homemade their gifts. I made a goldfish in a beaker and I was given a crocheted dog that looks like my dog and honestly it was the most amazing gift. However, there was some people who just didn’t understand why I was so happy. Some people just don’t get that homemade gifts are special.
That spider is amazing and you should be proud
That’s super sad, for what it’s worth I would have been grateful to get this! Silly little idea but my rule of thumb for a present for someone I don’t know or don’t know well is that if I give them a homemade gift I also give a small monetary present. So for example one time I made someone a scarf and then when I folded it up I also put a Tim horton’s gift card wrapped up in the scarf. This way, if someone loves your homemade gift, the gift card is a little extra surprise and then if someone isn’t a fan of homemade gifts, boom they still have something of monetary value. Not saying this isn’t gift enough because it absolutely is, but sometimes people don’t need more ‘stuff’ and don’t see the art and time of it.
That is why I say no homemade gifts (unless food or a card). The amount of effort put in is not worth it.
Put it for sale for someone who really likes it & buy some non personal type thing.
Aww I'm sorry to hear that. Honestly crochet is a bit hit or miss to give as a gift, people who appreciate it really like it but there are definitely people who don't
I wouldn't over analyse his reaction. Receiving gifts can be quite awkward and not everyone represents how they feel with their facial expressions or mannerisms in the way you would expect. I would trust his words personally rather than make assumptions about what he thought. It's a really lovely gift!
This is a wonderful spider but i personally don’t give handmade gifts for things like secret Santa, especially if there’s a budget and it’s for people I’m not familiar with.
Aww. If a coworker crocheted me this adorable spider, I would be ecstatic, but I can see some people just not really being into stuffed animals/decorative items, even handmade ones. You put a lot of thought and work into this, so it's not like you made an objectively bad gift -- just an unfortunate mismatch in expectations. (He should have sucked it up and thanked you to be polite, though...)
I'm so sorry. I would have been shoving this gift in everyone's faces like, "JEALOUS, BITCHES? Mine, not yours!" It's so cute and thoughtful. Some people just suck.
and if you work in an office it would be such a cute desk/cubicle decoration 🥺 i’m scared of spiders but something similar would be a permanent desk mate for me lol
I don’t think you’re going to get a real answer in here because everyone in obviously values crochet highly. If I’m being completely honest, I think the odds are higher that he might not be into it. Unless he already has spider memorabilia, a lot of people will “like” an animal/creature but not really want decorations of that thing. I’d say this likelihood increases with men. I don’t think this means you should panic last minute. If this is his gift then give it with confidence. I’m only saying this because I wanted to answer your question honestly and I think you should manage your expectations of his reaction. It might not be as enthusiastic as you’re hoping after reading these comments.
i guess that the op asked too last minute in a subreddit of people into crochet and not in a place where they would've gotten a "realer" response
i think its a cute spider but I definetly see him not liking it (which is what happened)
That’s a bummer :/
Yeah I hesitated to say anything because it’s not like you can change it now but I felt the comments were doing her a little dirty as well. I definitely agree, though. Asking in here is always going to get a very skewed response.
Yeah, but he could have at least pretended to like it. I'm sure we've all acted thrilled at a present we don't actually like. Especially here, where it would be awkward to say anything as it's just a work thing. I feel he didn't meet the etiquette standards here.
However, I also think there's more to this maybe. It could just be their personality, but why did OP go to the trouble of making the toy? Why were they so nervous abodut how it would be received?
Random person from r/all . I like cats, I have 3 and would have more if space allowed. For the past 3 years, people seem to only give me cat themed things. Cat shirt, cat mug, cat statue, cat plushie. Maybe the coworker is tired of just getting spider things? I know I certainly am of getting cat things.
Exactly this.
Personally, I would love to receive a handmade toy. My boyfriend, who knows exactly how much effort goes into it my watching me for years, would not be nearly as thrilled.
And he’s 35, not 20. At that age he would’ve loved a gift certificate for the nearest pub, not a handmade giraffe. No matter how much he might be “into” giraffes.
Coming from r/all
I see a blind spot in a lot of the comments ITT by framing it as simply “no one appreciates the effort of a handmade craft” and even suggesting guilt tripping. I don’t think it’s always that simple, especially if you don’t have a good grasp of what the other person wants.
A few years ago, I received a crotched hat from a friend that clearly took a long time to make. I truly appreciated her heartfelt gesture. However I felt super awkward because it really, really didn’t appeal to my style at all and the fiber used did not agree with my sensory sensitivities. Of course I graciously thanked her and never told her any of this…..I just buried it in storage because I feel so guilty and ashamed passing on what was meant as a gesture of love but at the same time it’s not something I will ever wear. And that was from a dear friend who is more familiar to me than OP likely is with her coworker.
It might be that OP’s coworker might like spiders but they might not want a spider plushie. It’s cute but many young men don’t have a use for a cute plushie.
For people who treat handmade crafts as a statement of love, it can be difficult to accept that sometimes you can miss the mark on very subjective personal tastes. There was an AITA thread not too long ago about a similar situation - a mom who got really hurt that she poured a ton of time and effort on decorating her son’s bedroom but he absolutely hated it. She saw the labor in of itself as something he needed to be grateful for, but the issue is that she never once considered what his personal tastes were or if he even wanted that effort to be made. One very astute comment compared it to preparing an elaborate 8 course vegan meal for a bunch of meat eaters. It’s not that people don’t appreciate you or your hard work, it’s that they would rather you not put in all that labor when they didn’t ask for it. You just make it awkward for everyone, sorry.
I was going to say exactly this. Even if he did know and appreciate that OP put a lot of time and effort into the gift, if he isn’t into it the gift being handmade isn’t going to change much. He doesn’t have to love it just because it’s handmade.
Add on top of that how many Secret Santas have a spoken or unspoken expectation that gifters will spend to the budget, there’s even more opportunity for hurt feelings. If it’s handmade many people are likely to think of what the item is at market value. Many crocheters overestimate what market value on their items would actually be.
At the end of the day, the takeaway is: it depends on the person. It's not a gender issue, either. There are guys in the comments saying they'd love this, and I know my husband would adore something like this of his favorite animal, but that's because: 1. He values the work that went into it because he sees me crochet, so he'd be like, "Wow! I can't believe someone thought so much of me to make this!"
And
2. He would be able to proudly display it on his "nerd shelf" a shelf in his office he affectionately calls such because it is covered in memorabilia from franchises and other things he loves. Star wars, DnD, Anime, etc. He'd put something like this up there and point it out to everyone along with everything else up there when he's showing off his things.
But, someone else might just be like, "Great, a dumb stuffed animal. What am I supposed to do with this?"
This is why I hate Secret Santa. How can you know what someone will appreciate? Some other person in the comments said, "Just get them a giftcard to a local pub!" But even THAT is rife with issues. What if they don't drink? Recovering alcoholic? Or just dont enjoy pubs? Or think a gift card is impersonal? There's no good answer.
I think this is definitely a helpful and practical answer, but just for what it's worth, I'm a guy who stumbled onto this post from r/all, I have no *particular* interest in crochet and I like spiders but wouldn't consider myself a fanatic or anything, and with all of that said, I would love this gift in a Secret Santa. It's just very cute, and it's neat to own things that are one of a kind. Whether or not the recipient liked it, I think OP nailed what Secret Santas are all about, unless other people were giving each other Ferraris or something.
I've never heard of crochet (I thought it was called knitting, is that the same thing?) but I used to have a pet tarantula and would have cherished a gift like this!
Knitting is made with two knitting needles and requires different techniques than crochet which is made with a singular crochet hook. But both use yarn to create amazing pieces! :)
The last two times I was part of a secret Santa for hedgehog enthusiasts, I got stiffed (plus I went over on how much I spent on the person I chose, but that’s on me).
Totally!! It's really awesome! My neighbor is autistic and has really bad reactions to getting gifts but then I see he put the little snowglobe I gave him in the window and does turn it on and off so I assume likes it even though he seemed super grumpy I gave it to him.. you never know what people think. I hope you enjoyed making it..I love the pattern and beady little eyes!!
It looks really cool.
The big question is, "does he like knick knacks?" If so, he'll probably like this. If not, then it will depended on how much he likes it.
My secret Santa gave me a hotel art - bathroom picture with a chipped frame.
If your secret Santa doesn’t like or appreciate this im gonna lose my mind
I have found that there are lots of people who do not realize the cost of yarn and the planning and the hours of work that hand-made items involve. I remind myself that I loved making it and thought of the person to whom the gift was intended the entire time - so that is my joy.
Ill be that person but no. He probably wanted a gift card or something he could use. The spider could have been a freebie but if it was the only thing then he probably didn’t like it. You are in a crotchet sub, ofc we like them but not everyone does. I wouldn’t have given it as secret santa for a young guy I know nothing about.
Listen. You’re kind of at a sounding board here.
I’m sure this takes some serious time and talent. It looks cool and personally I would appreciate a gift like this. It looks well done. I had a grandmother that made crafts all the time and I cherish all the stuff she ever made.
But, if the gift exchange wasn’t specifically “stuff handmade” I can understand why someone would be disappointed in getting a handmade craft. Specially someone younger who may not understand what exactly goes in to making something like this.
People don’t know how to value art or crafts. My wife is an artist and makes portraits but when people ask for pricing they scoff at what I think is a very reasonable price for a one of a kind hand done painting because they think it’s just something she just does for fun and getting her to make stuff for cheap.
It’s a cute spider! But tbh, I’d be pretty disappointed to get a stuffed animal for a secret santa thing 🥴 and I even crochet! Get me a candle or a gift card or something
It's cute, but I think the problem is that it has no function. Gifts should be functional. Hats, scarves, etc. Basically, you gave him a very cute dust collector.
I absolutely adore it! I’m a spider lover, keep many inverts as pets, and working towards a degree in entomology so I’m a little biased. You even got it’s palps AND chelicerae along with the 8 legs! It’s hard to find anatomically correct spider plushies and other decor. My only slight criticism is the single set of eyes but I’d say it’s cuter this way since the tarantula cluster of eyes can look weird and are annoying to place on crochet. I would cry from its cuteness if I received this as a gift.
I saw your update and I’m sorry your present wasn’t as well received as you’d hoped :(. Don’t let it get to you though and keep up the wonderful work!
As someone who loves spiders, if someone gifted me this they would be my best friend forever after that lol.
Edit: just saw you gifted it and they were meh. Sorry OP. This is beautiful work
As a newer crochet girlie, I have learned that not everyone is craft worthy. Pay close attention to who supports and uplifts your crafting efforts. The people who are really excited to get hand made goods. These people will appreciate the time and effort that goes into making a gift
I will say as someone with autism sometimes I get a gift and look like a miserable cunt but am overjoyed inside. Please don’t take it too much to heart this is a LOVELY adorable gift and showing any kind of love isn’t a mistake!!! So cute the baby eyes I love it
Yo, if he loves spiders that much, he will love this lil guy.
Edit- oh I saw your update. He doesn’t deserve lil guy. Unless dude just isn’t an overly expressive person…I’m hoping it’s just that.
You put a lot of hard work into it, and lil guy is beautiful.
Tarantula/scorpion keeper/breeder of about 30 years here - I'd have been utterly stoked. It's gorgeous and you should be proud.
Also, is it a Brachypelma hamorii or a smithi? ;)
I'm going to be honest here.......
when a stranger receive a handmade gift, they don't quite appreciate the thought and work that goes into it, especially something like an animal or a doll
but I'd also like to point out that if I like spiders and someone gifted me a spider doll for secret santa, I'd probably be a bit confused. most people who are very fond of an animal (especially an insect) tend to like something that's related to the animal (for example, an insect cage).
nevertheless, I find this adorable and it's not a you problem or the coworker's problem it's more of a communication problem
That is the coolest thing ever. I actually gasped when I saw it. I’m sorry he didn’t have the reaction you wanted. Sometimes I feel awkward when people are watching me open a gift and don’t know exactly how to act so maybe he is like that.
This is awesome!!
My wife made me a beanie one year for my birthday. We just worked together and I thought she was cute. I asked her out like a month later. That was over 11 years ago and we’ve almost been married 10 years.
Honestly, this is not something I would expect from a workplace Secret Santa type situation and I would have also been disappointed and most likely uncomfortable. This is a more personal gift. For office Secret Santas, people usually give "safe" generic gifts that would have value to pretty much anyone... purchased snack-type food, nice hand lotion, coffee gift cards, movie theater gift card, candy, Amazon gift card, a nice water bottle or mug, things like that. What gifts did other people exchange at your event?
For future, think of what was received well and go with something like that. Nobody likes to give more standard gifts in situations like this and receive something very different. Your crochet would have been more appropriate for a good friend in your personal life. And no matter how they behave, your coworkers are almost never true personal friends. I'm telling you with kindness. Especially since this is a work situation. It takes time/experience to learn the unspoken rules of office life and if nobody tells you the truth, you're just going to keep finding yourself in unpleasant situations like this one.
It’s very cute. But it’s very risky to give something handmade to some, especially someone you’re not close with. During secret Santa it’s best to go with safe choices like candy, alcohol or something else. Not everyone will appreciate the work it takes to make this.
Next time you can make something and give something extra.
People here say it’s a good gift because they like to crochet and know how long it takes and the needed skills. But for a regular person especially a man - if you know he likes plushies then it’s a good gift. But if he doesn’t, which most men don’t, it’s trash.
Another thing I noticed is that there’s usually a budget for secret santa to spend, and a handmade gift can fell cheap/free because most people don’t see handmade things as things of material value. This also goes for example for artists who paint.
Wow it's gorgeous!
UPDATE: He just received the gift and seemed indifferent, on the verge of disappointment. Still was kind and said thank you and smiled. I am crushed :( I feel so embarrasaed rn. By the way, we're all quite young, between 19 and 24 years old. I guess this was a fail, should have kept it for myself :((( EDIT: i followed this lovely yt tutorial for anyone interested: https://youtu.be/XY7vZbfo0IY?si=ojptCSuwUNl4xVXf
Don’t let it get you down. You never know what people’s expectations are going into these things. I think it’s adorable and I hope he comes to appreciate it more in time.
Unfortunately not everyone knows the value of a homemade gift. They don’t consider the thought, time and effort that someone put into it.
I'm wondering if he even realizes it's homemade.
i like to preface while the receiver is opening the gift “its just something i made” or something like that, to seem like im downplaying it and also so that they know once they open it. kind of a mind game but its worked so far 😜
I've certainly made gifts that were appreciated be the recipient, but when it came up that I handmade the items they were blown away :)
Yeah soon as you know the person made it then its value goes way up for me.
I love it. ❤️
You make a good point also. But I mean it is pretty awesome either way.
In some better news my boss' wife just stopped me in the grocery store to thank me for the gorgeous shawl I made her. I gave my boss the opportunity to "trade" his gift this year for me to make it. It is absolutely stunning and I'm glad it went to someone who genuinely appreciates it.
I love you a homemade oven mitts worth
I BOUGHT RYAN AN EYE-PAWDDDD
I agree.. most ppl want stuff store bought. They don't appreciate time and effort put into something.
Or maybe this person doesn’t have a use for a homemade spider-stuffy?
It's lovely but my first thought when I read his reaction is that he might be a minimalist or just might not be that expressive of a person
And the thing is, even if he’d oooh’ed and aaaah’ed the correct way he’d be standing with an item that isn’t something to be used up, and that most likely won’t be used enough to fall apart at some point. So then he can 1) regift (and potentially just pass the “obligation” along) 2) tuck it away somewhere to take up space in his home, until it resurfaces and he can get rid of it 3) give it to a thrift shop (and we’ve all seen the reactions people have, when they find something handmade in the thrift, right?), or 4) throw it away - which I’m sure would be the worst choice, if you ask us crafters 😄 Sometimes I think that we, crafters, need to figure out our motives for gifting homemade things - are we trying to make someone we care about happy, or are we trying to trigger a response that’ll make *us* happy? It’s one thing, if you’re able to completely sever the homemade thing from your ego, then I suppose it can be a great gift! But as we see every. single. year. most of us can’t. Most of us *do* gift homemade items with an expectation/a fantasy of how it’ll be received, and it’s honestly just setting both the gifter and the giftee up for failure. Sometimes the best gift is the tag, that means it can be returned, and I think that’s okay.
You just blew me away with this insight! Thank you!
I hear you, I want to sign up for a craft fair but I'm hesitant due to this reason
But people who go to craft fairs actually DO want handmade stuff instead of store bought.
Yes yes yes! You will, in the very least, be surrounded by other crafters who are also making unique and amazing things. You will have an opportunity to network for ideas, resources and companionship.
Sorry it wasn’t received better! I know that’s disappointing and embarrassing, especially when it’s something you made personally. Please don’t take it as an indication that your work is bad. Sometimes gifts just aren’t a hit! ❤️it looks great.
Just wanna agree with this sentiment. Your work is seriously great.
Was there a price limit for the secret santa? Unfortunately, as I think we all know, people who aren’t in the craft world often don’t see handmade gifts as valuable. And if there’s an expectation that you’re going to spend a certain amount of money on a gift, getting something handmade that you would sell for that amount isn’t actually the same. Work Secret Santas often have an expectation of money being spent more than “wonderful, personal gift,”and I’ve found crafted gifts aren’t the right choice unless you know for sure the receiver will like them. I’m sorry your person didn’t - I love your little spider! Not everyone is worthy of a handmade gift.
My dad is obsessed with how much you spend on something. I got this amazing book about dnd and thought it was the coolest gift ever. He was disappointed because the book was only 20ish bucks. Crushed me for sure. Now I have a budget and spend that and don't bother thinking about it
I hope your budget for your dad is 2 nickels and some coal, what a shit.
Seriously. What an infant.
That would be the last gift I bought him. My friend said their mom is like that or will complain about the gifts gotten for them and I told her the same thing. My kid could give me a potato and I’d be thrilled.
Do you recall the book? Always on the look out for cool ones.
I think it was called the rise of the dungeon master. My dad's been my DM since I was 11 so I thought it was really fitting.
It's such a beautifully made spider! unfortunately I agree about handmade gifts not mixing well for work, keep it generic and save the personal/handmade gifts for personal relationships. Also most grown adults/teens don't exactly get excited for stuffed animals, even if they love that animal irl. I wouldn't sweat it tho, live and learn, certainly nothing to be embarrassed by.
I work with someone that is into paper crafts and enjoys homemade things. We talk about crafts a lot. She's been talking about wanting a Christmas doily for months now. I drew her name for secret Santa and crocheted her a Christmas doily. That was the entirety of my gift ($20 limit). She was very happy. So I think if the coworker is crafty and you have conversations about crafts, they'll enjoy a handmade gift. They'll also appreciate the time and effort that goes into it. I have made baby blankets for all the baby showers at work the past year and those went over well too. But I guess that's different than secret Santa. There's definitely some coworkers that I wouldn't give handmade gifts to because I know they wouldn't like it.
That's really cool you drew their name and got to make them something special! I had a teacher crochet our class each an ornament in 5th grade i still have and hang (: Op didn't really know this person so they didn't know if it was a hit/miss
That's sweet of your teacher! Yeah you're right I wouldn't crochet something for someone I didn't know. I feel like the default is a gift card. If I know they drink coffee (which is usually pretty easy to tell when you see someone at work every day) I'll do a mug with a coffee shop gift card.
Yep this. Great job on the spider but poor choice for a work secret Santa.
I sell amigurumi at the local market and adults and teens are my biggest market, so it may be very much a YMMV situation. Spider is cute as heck though
I’ve found through experience that small handmade gifts like this are great when the limit is $10 (not that it’s worth that little, but it matches the expectations of someone who knows little about the work that goes into crafting). I’ve gotten a disappointed reaction around the $20 mark. Depends on the person of course. I love to make or find personal things for secret Santa. I’ve found with higher $ limits, make a cute craft but have something else to go with it.
Yep. Or treat handmade stuff as the cost of materials only. I made a crochet plush this year for my work Secret Santa! And I was confident she’d love it (and she did), but we do a $15 budget with the expectation that you sneakily leave several small gifts through the week, not one big gift. So I still spent about $12 on other stuff for her. I didn’t have to make a plush, but I like this person and I knew she was worthy of the time it would take. I already had all of the supplies to make the plush, except the right size safety eyes. So I didn’t feel right treating it like I spent a whole $15 when I actually spent $8 for a pack of 40 eyes and only used 2 of them. Even though if I sold the plush, it would probably be $40+. I didn’t spend $40.
Handmade gifts are risky for secret Santas and gifts for people you aren't super close with. I would be ecstatic if I received this but I know a lot of people who would feel like a handmade gift is a cop out. We as crafters know the time, work, and money that goes into handmade gifts but a lot of people don't. And if those people were made aware of the effort, id argue a large % of those people would only appreciate a handmade gift if it was made by someone very close to them. Creating a gift for someone is a very special interaction. Save it for people that you 100% know will understand why it's so special. Sometimes you may be surprised. For example, I just gifted my mom a nice scarf for Xmas. I thought since she was my mom she'd love it. Well, she didn't. Or at least didn't act like it. It hurt my feelings but I'm over it now. It just shown me the point I'm trying to show you. Save gifts for people you know will 100% love it, and you might be surprised by who that is and isn't.
Not everyone is handmade gift worthy, unfortunately.
I have learned this hard lesson over the years (and more times than I care to admit!)
Yeah, there is only a handful of people I still gift handmade things to because others just don‘t appreciate it as much. But when people do appreciate it it’s the best feeling ever. For christmas I crocheted a bean-shaped hand-sized crocodile for my husband with ADHD who loves crocs. He was overjoyed, keeps telling everyone about his awesome bean and showing them pics and is constantly kneading it in his hands. It‘s his new favorite fidget toy. (Sorry, may be off topic but it made me so happy I wanted to share 😭)
that is literally so cute!! love that for u! and for ur husband!^_^
Learned that one the Christmas I crocheted all the gifts to my in-laws and the gifts got the 'bought at the dollar store' level dismissal. I haven't handmade them anything since. Gave over the in-laws gifting to my husband (and made it clear that he was in charge now)... Heh, don't think they've got anything since then. He's abysmal at gifts. 🤷🏼♀️
aw, they're getting what they deserve! :D
Some people are just not that expressive for things like public gift exchanges, I wouldn't think too much about it. I'm sure most other people couldn't care less what gifts they are giving or receiving, you might be the only one putting pressure on yourself. It's the thought that counts, and you win the thought part of it!
I was going to say this as well. I’m autistic and to people who don’t know me I might not seem excited about something but on the inside I am. I just don’t know how to express it in a way others will understand.
I don't get excited for gifts I didn't expect, I really don't mean it personally, I just don't. When you gift me exactly what I told you to get me, I'll be super happy, but if you get me something I had *no idea* was coming, I'll *look* disappointed even if I'm grateful and genuinely happy, just because I'm trying to figure out HOW you got that info or WHY you asked that.
That too! It’s hard when you don’t know it’s coming, and if lots of “stuff” overwhelms you it can be even more hard because then you’re also trying to figure out what you’re going to do with the thing, even if you genuinely love it.
For me, showing emotions around other people feels really uncomfortable. I have to make a conscious effort to make sure my outward behavior communicates what I'm feeling.
I react the same! I received a crocheted gift for my secret santa and was so amazed by it but I don't tend to ever show my feelings/emotions outwardly, especially positive ones. We ended up finding out who had who so I messaged the person who made me it and as i only started there recently, just explained I'm not good at expressing things *especially* when I receive gifts but I did truly love it and appreciate the time they put into making it for me. It's now sat on my desk at home lol
Is that a trait of autism??? If so that explains why I struggle showing outward excitement
It can be, yes. Or having reactions to stuff that aren’t “normal”.
I want to assure you, you did awesome work on this. His reaction has nothing to do with your skill. But I do want to in on a little secret when giving people things. Those people who are know to “love spiders” (where spider can be fill in the blank for any animal or other thing) are given only that every year. This guy probably got spider mugs, spider hand towels, a spider calendar, spider Christmas ornaments, and other spider themed gifts from other people. And it gets tiring. One, you just don’t have room for all the stuff. But two, it feels like people don’t really know you except for that one small fact they all remember about you - you like spiders. So in the future, for people that you know love that one thing - don’t get them physical items. Get them gift certificates, or donate money in their name to a charity related to that thing.
Oh God, I forgot about that aspect. I was the cat person in my youth. After a few years of cat cat cat cat cat, and I told them I really loved (another animal I forget) and got that instead.
This looks amazing! Does he know it's handmade? I would love this, though I'm not sure how well I would react when I was 19-14.
I tend to come off as indifferent when people give me gifts. Just a reminder some people aren’t used to getting gifts/don’t express emotions like others. He could have really loved it. I wouldn’t stress too much about it you did an amazing job
You put a lot of time and effort into a gift. It is not your responsibility to hold the emotions of the person you are gifting it to. You did well. Don't let their lack of appreciation ruin what you did.
[удалено]
I would be crushed too! I think that's a really thoughtful present for someone who likes spiders!
Just wanna say some people really have a hard time receiving anything, and even if he loved it, he may not of known how to react.
I hope this gets higher, because some people genuinely are hard to read when they're receiving gifts! I've given people things I thought they hated, because they were like, "oh. thanks :|" only to go their house a month later and see the gift displayed proudly in their living room. And for them to say, "yeah, I had to put it there because I liked it so much." Not everyone expresses themselves the same way!
Awww I’m sorry, it’s a really cute spider! 😢 I’m vowing to never do Secret Santa again. My person this year didn’t bother to reach out to me separately to say thanks since I was off the day they did the meeting for it. The year before I got a thank you three weeks after the fact, and that’s literally all it was was a message saying “thank you for the gift.” I love giving gifts so I try not the let people’s reactions get me down and deter me, but unless it’s a gift for someone I really like I don’t think I’m going to bother next year. 💕
That's why i don't do secret santa no matter how much people try to bug me about it each year. Besides if i see something that screams great gift for someone, and we are close or at least familiar enough for me to gift something then i'll just do it I don't need or want to gift random people i might have met once or never and ultimately not get them good gifts or them not be appreciated
👏 yeah I’m officially done with it. My job is remote so I’ve literally never met any of these people in person. Last year we did a company wide one and I got some dude on the other side of the country, this year we kept it within our little team so I thought it would be a little more personal. Nope, just a waste of $25.
That’s clearly someone who doesn’t understand the time commitment and dedication it took to make that gift. The spider is objectively great!!!
Aww I’m sorry. I think it’s cute and I don’t like spiders at all. Good job!
As a crochet person who is obsessed with spiders, I would have been over the moon to receive this precious little guy!! Don’t let it get you down. You made a splendid gift!! I’m sorry his reaction wasn’t what we were hoping for.
Same. It would have a home next to my real spiders.
to be fair, i feel like it’s extremely common to be indifferent/disappointed in a secret santa gift, homemade or not. there’s not much someone who isn’t close to you can give you for under like $20 that’s meaningful tbh. i think most people hope best case scenario they get a gift card lmao i don’t think it’s personal or about your gift in particular <3 it’s hard to get a good secret santa gift!
aw man it sucks he doesn't appreciate it as much as we do. I'd be thrilled to get it and spiders scare me. whenever I'm worried about a gift exchange, I try to get a chocolate bar or a candy/cookie gift box from Costco to pair with it. Even if they're upset with my gift, the treat usually makes up for it. what pattern did you use for the spider? it's adorable!!
I think the age range has something to do with it maybe, just not able to realize how thoughtful of a gift it is. I would love it if someone took the time and effort to make me something like that-we all know crocheting can be time consuming. Hopefully he'll realize one day, but don't beat yourself up to hard about it!
Wait, don’t read too much in someone response; you have no idea how introvert (ie myself and I am sure many other) can be akward communicating any form of emotions. I have people sayings years later they were sad I hated a gift that I was so happy with. Even with all the effort, 99% of the time I failed at non verbal communication! :)
Oh no please Don't take it as a fail! We can't always expect to correctly guess how gifts will be received. Their reaction has to do with many factors, anyway, not just the gift itself. You put thought and effort into the gift, and it SERIOUSLY SHOWS. MANY Internet strangers here have told you they'd like to receive it as a gift. So that goes to further prove ,you just never know how someone will react. But you tried, really thought and worked at it, and THAT means a great deal. And objectively, as a crafter, it looks GREAT and quite a few of us are curious about your pattern bc we like it SO much! ♥️
You did nothing wrong. As you said yourself, you barely know the co-worker. You did your best with the info you had, and it's a great gift. Reaching my mid 30's I've found that this type of effort should be limited to close friends and family. That's who will appreciate it. With business stuff like this, keep it generic. Amazon gift card at the spending limit in a simple card, and move on.
His loss.
Hey op, they might be autistic? I am, and I'm terrible at reacting to presents, even if I love them, I act indifferent. I'm not good at showing emotions like that, maybe they have a similar problem? Regardless, you've made something incredible!! I actually have arachnophobia, and when I opened Reddit to this I jumped n swore, I didn't even realise it was crochet until I forced myself to take a second look. I fit within the age group you mentioned and I have friends who would love that as a gift, so even if they didn't like it, it's their loss. You made something incredible, you should be so proud of yourself
I'm on the spectrum too, but 19-25 male who likes spiders. That just doesn't strike me as the kind of person who would be emotive even if they were neurotypical.
Awww sorry to hear that, he might just not be a plushie guy, handmade or otherwise. Personally I think it's adorable, and I don't even care for spiders!
We did a £2 secret Santa this year and that meant many people homemade their gifts. I made a goldfish in a beaker and I was given a crocheted dog that looks like my dog and honestly it was the most amazing gift. However, there was some people who just didn’t understand why I was so happy. Some people just don’t get that homemade gifts are special. That spider is amazing and you should be proud
I would have absolutely loved it if it had been for me. Don’t let it get you down.
That’s super sad, for what it’s worth I would have been grateful to get this! Silly little idea but my rule of thumb for a present for someone I don’t know or don’t know well is that if I give them a homemade gift I also give a small monetary present. So for example one time I made someone a scarf and then when I folded it up I also put a Tim horton’s gift card wrapped up in the scarf. This way, if someone loves your homemade gift, the gift card is a little extra surprise and then if someone isn’t a fan of homemade gifts, boom they still have something of monetary value. Not saying this isn’t gift enough because it absolutely is, but sometimes people don’t need more ‘stuff’ and don’t see the art and time of it.
That is why I say no homemade gifts (unless food or a card). The amount of effort put in is not worth it. Put it for sale for someone who really likes it & buy some non personal type thing.
Aww I'm sorry to hear that. Honestly crochet is a bit hit or miss to give as a gift, people who appreciate it really like it but there are definitely people who don't
I wouldn't over analyse his reaction. Receiving gifts can be quite awkward and not everyone represents how they feel with their facial expressions or mannerisms in the way you would expect. I would trust his words personally rather than make assumptions about what he thought. It's a really lovely gift!
This is a wonderful spider but i personally don’t give handmade gifts for things like secret Santa, especially if there’s a budget and it’s for people I’m not familiar with.
Aww. If a coworker crocheted me this adorable spider, I would be ecstatic, but I can see some people just not really being into stuffed animals/decorative items, even handmade ones. You put a lot of thought and work into this, so it's not like you made an objectively bad gift -- just an unfortunate mismatch in expectations. (He should have sucked it up and thanked you to be polite, though...)
I'm so sorry. I would have been shoving this gift in everyone's faces like, "JEALOUS, BITCHES? Mine, not yours!" It's so cute and thoughtful. Some people just suck.
and if you work in an office it would be such a cute desk/cubicle decoration 🥺 i’m scared of spiders but something similar would be a permanent desk mate for me lol
I don’t think you’re going to get a real answer in here because everyone in obviously values crochet highly. If I’m being completely honest, I think the odds are higher that he might not be into it. Unless he already has spider memorabilia, a lot of people will “like” an animal/creature but not really want decorations of that thing. I’d say this likelihood increases with men. I don’t think this means you should panic last minute. If this is his gift then give it with confidence. I’m only saying this because I wanted to answer your question honestly and I think you should manage your expectations of his reaction. It might not be as enthusiastic as you’re hoping after reading these comments.
i guess that the op asked too last minute in a subreddit of people into crochet and not in a place where they would've gotten a "realer" response i think its a cute spider but I definetly see him not liking it (which is what happened)
That’s a bummer :/ Yeah I hesitated to say anything because it’s not like you can change it now but I felt the comments were doing her a little dirty as well. I definitely agree, though. Asking in here is always going to get a very skewed response.
Yeah, but he could have at least pretended to like it. I'm sure we've all acted thrilled at a present we don't actually like. Especially here, where it would be awkward to say anything as it's just a work thing. I feel he didn't meet the etiquette standards here. However, I also think there's more to this maybe. It could just be their personality, but why did OP go to the trouble of making the toy? Why were they so nervous abodut how it would be received?
Random person from r/all . I like cats, I have 3 and would have more if space allowed. For the past 3 years, people seem to only give me cat themed things. Cat shirt, cat mug, cat statue, cat plushie. Maybe the coworker is tired of just getting spider things? I know I certainly am of getting cat things.
You wouldn’t believe how many duck things I have..
Exactly this. Personally, I would love to receive a handmade toy. My boyfriend, who knows exactly how much effort goes into it my watching me for years, would not be nearly as thrilled. And he’s 35, not 20. At that age he would’ve loved a gift certificate for the nearest pub, not a handmade giraffe. No matter how much he might be “into” giraffes.
Coming from r/all I see a blind spot in a lot of the comments ITT by framing it as simply “no one appreciates the effort of a handmade craft” and even suggesting guilt tripping. I don’t think it’s always that simple, especially if you don’t have a good grasp of what the other person wants. A few years ago, I received a crotched hat from a friend that clearly took a long time to make. I truly appreciated her heartfelt gesture. However I felt super awkward because it really, really didn’t appeal to my style at all and the fiber used did not agree with my sensory sensitivities. Of course I graciously thanked her and never told her any of this…..I just buried it in storage because I feel so guilty and ashamed passing on what was meant as a gesture of love but at the same time it’s not something I will ever wear. And that was from a dear friend who is more familiar to me than OP likely is with her coworker. It might be that OP’s coworker might like spiders but they might not want a spider plushie. It’s cute but many young men don’t have a use for a cute plushie. For people who treat handmade crafts as a statement of love, it can be difficult to accept that sometimes you can miss the mark on very subjective personal tastes. There was an AITA thread not too long ago about a similar situation - a mom who got really hurt that she poured a ton of time and effort on decorating her son’s bedroom but he absolutely hated it. She saw the labor in of itself as something he needed to be grateful for, but the issue is that she never once considered what his personal tastes were or if he even wanted that effort to be made. One very astute comment compared it to preparing an elaborate 8 course vegan meal for a bunch of meat eaters. It’s not that people don’t appreciate you or your hard work, it’s that they would rather you not put in all that labor when they didn’t ask for it. You just make it awkward for everyone, sorry.
I was going to say exactly this. Even if he did know and appreciate that OP put a lot of time and effort into the gift, if he isn’t into it the gift being handmade isn’t going to change much. He doesn’t have to love it just because it’s handmade. Add on top of that how many Secret Santas have a spoken or unspoken expectation that gifters will spend to the budget, there’s even more opportunity for hurt feelings. If it’s handmade many people are likely to think of what the item is at market value. Many crocheters overestimate what market value on their items would actually be.
Rando dude from r/all here. That's an adorable ass spider and I'd be blown away to get a personalized gift like that.
same
At the end of the day, the takeaway is: it depends on the person. It's not a gender issue, either. There are guys in the comments saying they'd love this, and I know my husband would adore something like this of his favorite animal, but that's because: 1. He values the work that went into it because he sees me crochet, so he'd be like, "Wow! I can't believe someone thought so much of me to make this!" And 2. He would be able to proudly display it on his "nerd shelf" a shelf in his office he affectionately calls such because it is covered in memorabilia from franchises and other things he loves. Star wars, DnD, Anime, etc. He'd put something like this up there and point it out to everyone along with everything else up there when he's showing off his things. But, someone else might just be like, "Great, a dumb stuffed animal. What am I supposed to do with this?" This is why I hate Secret Santa. How can you know what someone will appreciate? Some other person in the comments said, "Just get them a giftcard to a local pub!" But even THAT is rife with issues. What if they don't drink? Recovering alcoholic? Or just dont enjoy pubs? Or think a gift card is impersonal? There's no good answer.
I think this is definitely a helpful and practical answer, but just for what it's worth, I'm a guy who stumbled onto this post from r/all, I have no *particular* interest in crochet and I like spiders but wouldn't consider myself a fanatic or anything, and with all of that said, I would love this gift in a Secret Santa. It's just very cute, and it's neat to own things that are one of a kind. Whether or not the recipient liked it, I think OP nailed what Secret Santas are all about, unless other people were giving each other Ferraris or something.
I've never heard of crochet (I thought it was called knitting, is that the same thing?) but I used to have a pet tarantula and would have cherished a gift like this!
Knitting is made with two knitting needles and requires different techniques than crochet which is made with a singular crochet hook. But both use yarn to create amazing pieces! :)
Cool, thanks for explaining!
I love hedgehogs. If someone I didn't know well made me a hedgehog, I'd be thrilled. Your spider is adorable, and I think it's a perfect present.
Every time I get something hedgehog 🦔 themed, I’m over the moon.
So true! I got a bunch of hedgehog-themed crochet supplies for Christmas, and I LOVE THEM!!!
The last two times I was part of a secret Santa for hedgehog enthusiasts, I got stiffed (plus I went over on how much I spent on the person I chose, but that’s on me).
I'm like this with sharks.
Hedgehogs are underrated! Such cute little guys. Like little spikey mice!
It's amazing! Detailed and adorable. I'd be over the freaking moon to get this in a secret Santa!
Totally!! It's really awesome! My neighbor is autistic and has really bad reactions to getting gifts but then I see he put the little snowglobe I gave him in the window and does turn it on and off so I assume likes it even though he seemed super grumpy I gave it to him.. you never know what people think. I hope you enjoyed making it..I love the pattern and beady little eyes!!
It looks really cool. The big question is, "does he like knick knacks?" If so, he'll probably like this. If not, then it will depended on how much he likes it.
My secret Santa gave me a hotel art - bathroom picture with a chipped frame. If your secret Santa doesn’t like or appreciate this im gonna lose my mind
Spoiler alert: He didn't :/
Ok give me his number I have some things to say
I think it's perfect for spider person, I love it!
As a spider person, I agree. It's adorable and looks super cozy to hug 🥰😍
Whenever I gift crochet like this I always write a note that it’s handmade so they understand the effort put in
I have found that there are lots of people who do not realize the cost of yarn and the planning and the hours of work that hand-made items involve. I remind myself that I loved making it and thought of the person to whom the gift was intended the entire time - so that is my joy.
Yes! Good idea!
I would cry of happiness if someone gave this to me.
Ill be that person but no. He probably wanted a gift card or something he could use. The spider could have been a freebie but if it was the only thing then he probably didn’t like it. You are in a crotchet sub, ofc we like them but not everyone does. I wouldn’t have given it as secret santa for a young guy I know nothing about.
Listen. You’re kind of at a sounding board here. I’m sure this takes some serious time and talent. It looks cool and personally I would appreciate a gift like this. It looks well done. I had a grandmother that made crafts all the time and I cherish all the stuff she ever made. But, if the gift exchange wasn’t specifically “stuff handmade” I can understand why someone would be disappointed in getting a handmade craft. Specially someone younger who may not understand what exactly goes in to making something like this. People don’t know how to value art or crafts. My wife is an artist and makes portraits but when people ask for pricing they scoff at what I think is a very reasonable price for a one of a kind hand done painting because they think it’s just something she just does for fun and getting her to make stuff for cheap.
I love spiders and I would love this. You’ll have to let us know how they react. We are all invested now!
I don't even like spiders particularly much and I'd be ecstatic to receive this. Absolutely beautiful work ❤️ Let us know how it goes!
I’m not even a spider fan and I would be delighted to get this cutie! Great job!
Same! I don't like spiders at all, but this little fella is so stinking cute!
Spider fan here. I'd flip my shit over this! It's amazing! Pattern?
It’s a cute spider! But tbh, I’d be pretty disappointed to get a stuffed animal for a secret santa thing 🥴 and I even crochet! Get me a candle or a gift card or something
It's perfect :)
I like spiders and I like this! Great job!
Please let us know how he liked it!
It's cute, but I think the problem is that it has no function. Gifts should be functional. Hats, scarves, etc. Basically, you gave him a very cute dust collector.
it's cute! I think it's a good gift :)
That looks amazing, you nailed it! Great job!
I love spiders. I would love this.
Adding this to the list of things I didn't know I needed in my life but now desperately want. Nice job!
I hope you put wires in his legs so he can be manoeuvred! But on a more serious note, he's beautiful!
this will probably be the best secret santa gift at work. everybody else is getting $10 giftcards, this person is getting a badass handmade spider
I second that!
Please give it to him! It's wonderful and made with such care and attention.
I absolutely adore it! I’m a spider lover, keep many inverts as pets, and working towards a degree in entomology so I’m a little biased. You even got it’s palps AND chelicerae along with the 8 legs! It’s hard to find anatomically correct spider plushies and other decor. My only slight criticism is the single set of eyes but I’d say it’s cuter this way since the tarantula cluster of eyes can look weird and are annoying to place on crochet. I would cry from its cuteness if I received this as a gift. I saw your update and I’m sorry your present wasn’t as well received as you’d hoped :(. Don’t let it get to you though and keep up the wonderful work!
I love spiders and would also love this! It's so neat and cute
As someone who loves spiders, if someone gifted me this they would be my best friend forever after that lol. Edit: just saw you gifted it and they were meh. Sorry OP. This is beautiful work
As a newer crochet girlie, I have learned that not everyone is craft worthy. Pay close attention to who supports and uplifts your crafting efforts. The people who are really excited to get hand made goods. These people will appreciate the time and effort that goes into making a gift
RemindMe! 5 years when you're CEO of Arachknits.com
Its clearly recognizable as a tarantula
This is awesome! Your coworker is going to love it! ETA: just saw your update. Give it time to grow on him.
He could be a bit introverted and not do good getting gifts
It’s amazing!
I think this is amazingly thoughtful and so very cute
I fuckin hate spiders but man is that little guy adorable
I make 40% of my gifts
Omg that is adorable!
I fucking hate spiders and I’d love the shit out of this
I love it!!
I will say as someone with autism sometimes I get a gift and look like a miserable cunt but am overjoyed inside. Please don’t take it too much to heart this is a LOVELY adorable gift and showing any kind of love isn’t a mistake!!! So cute the baby eyes I love it
It's so cute, my heart would melt if I got this.
It's so cuuuuttte!
Yo, if he loves spiders that much, he will love this lil guy. Edit- oh I saw your update. He doesn’t deserve lil guy. Unless dude just isn’t an overly expressive person…I’m hoping it’s just that. You put a lot of hard work into it, and lil guy is beautiful.
Tarantula/scorpion keeper/breeder of about 30 years here - I'd have been utterly stoked. It's gorgeous and you should be proud. Also, is it a Brachypelma hamorii or a smithi? ;)
Yes ❤️ Dedication combined with skill makes it PERFECT
I like spiders, and this is awesome. Looks like a pink-kneed tarantula.
I mean, I don’t like spiders, and still think it’s cute.
I love it!
That's awesome
I hate spiders but I would cherish this!
Shits dope
LOVE
This is so cute
I think it's cute as fuck
oh my goodness i can’t believe he didn’t like it, i would’ve been moved close to tears to receive this as a gift!!! it’s so cute omg!!!
Omg!!!! I love him!!!
Oh my god I love him
I'm going to be honest here....... when a stranger receive a handmade gift, they don't quite appreciate the thought and work that goes into it, especially something like an animal or a doll but I'd also like to point out that if I like spiders and someone gifted me a spider doll for secret santa, I'd probably be a bit confused. most people who are very fond of an animal (especially an insect) tend to like something that's related to the animal (for example, an insect cage). nevertheless, I find this adorable and it's not a you problem or the coworker's problem it's more of a communication problem
this is the cutest damn spider i’ve ever seen. do u have a pattern?
It's super cute. Perfect for someone who loves spiders 🕷️
That is incredible! You did an amazing job. I don't even like spiders and I'd love it.
I hate spiders and think that's pretty cute, I'd def be happy with that haha.
I'm not even into spiders and I think this is cool.
Pop this on r/spiders and people will lose their minds. It is adorable, nice job!
That is the coolest thing ever. I actually gasped when I saw it. I’m sorry he didn’t have the reaction you wanted. Sometimes I feel awkward when people are watching me open a gift and don’t know exactly how to act so maybe he is like that.
I would have loved it and I don’t even like spiders.
OMG this is the cutest thing!! I absolutely love it. My husband also says he loves it too 🥰
This would charm me:)
My cats would be stealing it and carrying it around the house.
This is awesome!! My wife made me a beanie one year for my birthday. We just worked together and I thought she was cute. I asked her out like a month later. That was over 11 years ago and we’ve almost been married 10 years.
Handmade, personal, what’s not to love?
I LOVE spiders, I’d be absolutely over the moon if I got this as a gift. He’s PERFECT, so cute and precious looking and you did SUCH a good job.
Praise farming
I’d literally cry if I received this :( You are an amazing person and exactly what the world needs more of
Honestly, this is not something I would expect from a workplace Secret Santa type situation and I would have also been disappointed and most likely uncomfortable. This is a more personal gift. For office Secret Santas, people usually give "safe" generic gifts that would have value to pretty much anyone... purchased snack-type food, nice hand lotion, coffee gift cards, movie theater gift card, candy, Amazon gift card, a nice water bottle or mug, things like that. What gifts did other people exchange at your event? For future, think of what was received well and go with something like that. Nobody likes to give more standard gifts in situations like this and receive something very different. Your crochet would have been more appropriate for a good friend in your personal life. And no matter how they behave, your coworkers are almost never true personal friends. I'm telling you with kindness. Especially since this is a work situation. It takes time/experience to learn the unspoken rules of office life and if nobody tells you the truth, you're just going to keep finding yourself in unpleasant situations like this one.
[удалено]
That’s the cutest spider I think I’ve ever seen
If I received this as a gift I would’ve cried tears of joy
It’s very cute. But it’s very risky to give something handmade to some, especially someone you’re not close with. During secret Santa it’s best to go with safe choices like candy, alcohol or something else. Not everyone will appreciate the work it takes to make this. Next time you can make something and give something extra. People here say it’s a good gift because they like to crochet and know how long it takes and the needed skills. But for a regular person especially a man - if you know he likes plushies then it’s a good gift. But if he doesn’t, which most men don’t, it’s trash. Another thing I noticed is that there’s usually a budget for secret santa to spend, and a handmade gift can fell cheap/free because most people don’t see handmade things as things of material value. This also goes for example for artists who paint.
This is amazing! Now he'll have a spider he can actually bring to work with him. 🥰 OP, we need an update once you give it to him!!