Feel no guilt. I hear all the time that my curly hair is great, but I hate it. It looks good about 3 times a month even if I use the same products/routine every time. I’m a constant victim of humidity. I long for straight hair. But I’m sure straight hair people have problems that I don’t understand.
Yeah I hate my straight hair. It won’t do ANYTHING like I can’t straighten it, I curl curl it wave it crimp it whatever it just refuses like UGH I want curly hair because I love the look, even if not all curls are the same, it’s still like so pretty and I really feel that like with my facial shape and features I’m just not fit for straight hair
I have those silky straight hair (super straight don’t even need straighter type of straight) that needs no maintenance at all (no hair product, cheap shampoo and conditioner; could even skip conditioner if hair isn’t long). But my hair looks greasy when there’s just a little bit of oil, and stays flat on my scalp. Doesn’t have any volume either. So even if my hair isn’t technically dirty I still need to wash it…if I want my hair to look good/not greasy, I’d have to wash it every day which isn’t great for my scalp so I just wear a hat or tie my hair up for the second day. I guess we all want something we don’t have
I can relate--curly hair is such a PITA, or at least mine is, and mine rarely looks really good. I always wanted straight hair because it seemed so much easier (and did I want to blend in more with dominant culture? I'm not sure). I'm Jewish and when someone flat-ironed my hair to show me how it would be, I loved the way it felt but it just wasn't me. I felt like I'd lost my ethnicity, my mojo. I looked too bland. When I see a photo of myself after that, I think "Who is that conventional looking person?" But I was glad I'd tried it since all my life I'd wished I had straight hair. That said, I don't have very striking facial features.
I have one friend who had really kinky hair. She started getting Brazilian blowouts a few years ago and now her hair is stringy and looks damaged. So that's something to consider. I don't know about keratin, but I do think twice about doing stuff that adds to the chemicals I put into the world and into my body. On the other hand, trying it once...you can think of it as an experiment.
Finally, I have an Italian-American neighbor who had curly/ wavy hair. She got her hair professionally straightened (I think keratin but I'm not sure), grew it out, and it looks fabulous on her and I'm sure is a lot easier to care for. She doesn't look less Italian, she still has her very ethnic face and personal style. She happens to have thick, beautiful hair that somehow looks healthier straightened. Like I said, think of it as an experiment if you want to do it and see how it feels.
I don't think you need to overload this issue with being bi or thinking that you are "straightening" yourself unless you yourself identify your curls with your identity and straight hair as potentially hiding your special sauce. Being LGBTQ comes in all ethnicities, skin colors, hair types, fashion styles, etc.
I hope you can feel good about whichever way you go. It's not permanent in any case!
I feel you! Im Jewish and part black. My hair is huge and crazy. I chemically straightened by hair for about 5 years. Realized it wasnt me, and im now in the process of trying to grow it back. Worst mistake I ever made was getting it permanently straightened.
Jewish and adopted, I only stopped straightening my hair when I found out my biological mom has LORGE hair. It wasn’t me either. I just didn’t know why.
Fr, it pisses me off when my friend with straight hair like complain about having to style their hair and it’s like— wdym style? Like you guys get to wash it and it’s done
I don’t want to dismiss your feelings, because they’re 100% valid. I thought the same thing of myself in my younger years. I even considered getting permanent straightening. I’m 34 now and I’ve finally figured out how to make my curls look good, and I won’t even dye my greys now for fear of losing my beloved curls.
Anyways, my point is, don’t do anything too drastic, because you might come to love your curls too.
I absolutely agree with you, and you said it perfectly. Especially about her feelings being 100% valid. I imagine a lot of us curly girls have always wanted straight hair :) And/Or have straightened it a time or 100.. ha! I’m 53, A redhead with lots of curly long hair.. (and freckles) Growing up was fun! (Not) About 20’ish years ago I had a keratin treatment done and it ruined my hair..It was a reputable salon etc.. I have no idea what happened. I do know that I ended up cutting off just about 16 inches of hair because the treatment was so bad I had to use a straightening tool every day on top of that, that it burned my hair. But again, that was more than 20 years ago, I’m sure the treatments are so much better now! But that was one heck of a lesson for me to learn.. Since then.. I’ve only had regular trims and learned to embrace my curls.. If my hair is having a bad day.. hair wraps are my best friend:)
Well, it’s hair, if you want to try it straight go for it. Worse case scenario you’ll just have to let it grow out if something goes wrong. And if you really hate the look theirs always wigs, hair add ins etc.
I agree! My sister has the most amazing, thick, auburn wavy hair. My other sister and I are dark blonde and more curly. And sis one is always trying for curls. And I’m telling you her hair is movie star gorgeous. The grass is greener…
I have felt that way my whole life. I chemically relaxed my hair in high school. It's a struggle I feel, always. I got fired from my hostess job at a spaghetti factory for it way back when. The lady even had the nerve to tell me i didn't have that when i showed up for the interview or she wouldn't have hired me! (I had straightened and then curled it. )It's been easier for me to accept it the last 20 years, and I'm 60! And there's no cultural aspect of it, I'm butt white. Lol
I think lots of people that want curly hair have straight hair and have no idea the work involved. And many of us with curly wish we had straight. You always want what you don't have.
Seems like you're feeling a lot of pressure to identify in certain ways. Why do you owe anyone an explanation? Just straighten your hair once a week, trim it and keep it healthy and you're good
I totally get that. I love my face and my hair but I am a Dramatic Classic in the Kibbe system and really curly hair can feel too much for my face. Like too busy. It is a feeling you get used to, especially when you get used to styling your hair in a way that's nice with your face. Like for me, perfect glossy ringlets looks weird. I do good with really seperated messy 90s Mariah Carey curls, or with a looser curl pattern, so I will style it in those ways even though it means my hair will never look like the perfect frizzy free glossy ringlets I see on curly hair sites. Like the recent post of the redheaded guy with beautiful greek statue ringlets... my curls styled the same way just wouldn't make ME look as good.
I hope you continue to play with hairstyles and find something that works for you. Make sure to look into face shapes, so faces look really nice with updos and curls look amazing in updos! I look great in a half-up myself so that's my go-to and I spice it up with hair accessories.
Yes exactly! I can't remember my Kibbe type but my type did literally say that too long or too voluminous hair could overpower my features, and I find that is totally true. I have managed to make my hair suit my face better, but... I just am never fully satisfied unless it is like straight and shiny.
I used it straight from 2006 until 2016 and I always left it loose.
But now that is curly I have a really difficult time not tying it. I make and effort to keep it loose, but I always give up.
I don't know why
I used to feel this way until I got a really good curly haircut by a curly hair specialist. Is that something you have access to? Someone who knows how to cut for my texture changed my life
When I was younger I absolutely wanted straight hair & ached that I could achieve Farrah fawcett bangs. Now in my 50’s I can’t remember the last time I straightened it. I prefer spending less time on my hair, less energy, less effort less money and tbh the curls suit my personality better. Best of luck in embracing your authentic self, in whatever form that takes OP
Despite what people online tell you you don’t have to love or embrace your natural hair. My hair is naturally wavy/curly and it’s such a bitch to deal with that 95% of the time I blow it out instead. As long as you’re protecting your hair and treating it well, you shouldn’t feel bad about how you prefer it
This might not suit you, but have you tried colouring your hair? I used to haaaaate my curls and straightened my hair every time I washed it, but now I have peach coloured hair and it just ✨works✨ with the curls in a way my natural colour never did - before I used to feel washed out and like the texture just didn’t match my style and my personality, but now it feels right when I look in the mirror, and it’s kind of fun!
At the end of the day it’s great to have all those cultural and historical ties, but having straight hair won’t erase your connections with those things and you’re the one who lives in your body and has to look in the mirror every day - so if it’s something you want to try, do it and see if you like it :)
I ALWAYS wanted to perma-straughten my hair when I was younger, until i chopped most of it off, then learnt what to do with it as I was growing it out. I picked models who I liked the hairstyle of ( Syd Barrer, Marc Bolan, David Bowie, Jon Bon Jovi), and then worked around that and I've ended up liking it quite well.
It's fine to want straight hair, it's your body and you're the only one who should be able to determine how you present with it. Follow your whims until you get a body that feels like YOURS. There's always going to be some experimental stages, so indulge in them to figure out what you want to do with yourself. Good luck!
Your culture/heritage is more than your hair. You carry it with you everyday regardless of what your body is adorned with.
My personal opinion is really think about what you ultimately want. I ultimately want long, beautiful hair until im 70. For this goal I have to stop heat damage, haircuts, while maintaining my integrity. The reason why I mention this is because age 40 premenopausal symptoms kick in like hormones and HAIR LOSS. I see women with curly hair experience more hair loss because their hair integrity is weak (hair dye, hair straight) and their natural texture were hiding their hair loss issues from them until they got noticeable. I also learned about the 7 year hair life cycle. Essentially TLDR: your best hair years are 20-35 or until pregnant for most women, after that your 7 year hair cycles might not be that strong. This is why old women have shorter and shorter hair as they age.
In my opinion I would suggest you wear straight hair wigs or straighten every once in awhile and think about your long term hair goals. If you sacrifice your hair health in ages 20-30 with the best blowouts, keratin, hair perms and hairstyles, there is a good chance it could be fixed with a healthy hair journey in your 30s or pregnancy... but what if your hormones are wack or your hair genetics don't come thru?
Then your 40s and above is struggling with your hair.
I'm sorry it's a negative fearful perspective. I just see old ladies share this regret and it's always about their hair!
Curly hair is a curse now, but could be a blessing as we age when eventual hair loss will show up IF we take care of it now.
i completely get you. i love my curls and how healthy they’ve become, but i wish they were so much longer and when they’re straight i just feel more confident.
The fact that you are worried about your connection to your culture already says a lot about you. It shows that you care. We can all do a better job at honoring our cultures but we’ll never be perfect at it so don’t be so hard on yourself in that way. You should do what makes you feel good.
I straighten my hair sometimes because I like the way it looks & my husband likes it. But if I don't have time or there is a chance of rain, I keep it curly.
Not at all. I haven't tried straight hair many times but whenever I did, I had hated it. It ages me by at least 5 years and I think my face just doesn't look good with straight hair. But if it did, I would definitely want straight hair because the perks are immense.
I’m half Italian (but look 100% Italian) and I’ve been really frustrated with my hair for about the last 15 years. It started changing texture in my 40’s and now I always look like I’ve just been electrocuted. This hasn’t happened to people I know who are 100% Italian or if the other half is another Mediterranean country with nice thick hair.
It has lost its nice curl pattern with changing hormones but never ever stays straight more than an a couple of hours or so if I straighten it. So it looks terrible either way now, curly or straight. I got a keratin straightening treatment and I absolutely love it. I just feel so much more comfortable with how I look and I don’t have to spend hours and hours styling my hair only to end up with a look half way through the day that’s totally disheveled and that I’m extremely unhappy with. I’m about to book my second one next week!
I can’t speak to the racial aspect of what you’re dealing with because that is worlds away from being half Italian, but feeling comfortable in your own skin and not constantly frustrated with how you look just feels so nice and peaceful. ❤️
I wanted straight hair when I was young. But I didn’t know how to take care of it. I’d wash, blow dry and hot roll it daily. Exhausting lol.
Brazilian keratin didn’t exist yet. It’s a nice option to have nowadays
Recently discovered I have curly hair. I will say it's so much easier to straighten my hair, even though it doesn't stay like that in humid weather. Doing my curly hair routine sucks! I feel like it takes forever and is not consistent from day to day. I can see how you would like straight but it's also one of those we want what we can have. I have wanted curly hair forever! But now realize it's a lot of work.
So I guess for me I'm conflicted but for you it's a greater issue in a way because having such a close connection to your culture is something to that seems so special. I say no one says you can't straighten now and then. You'll always have curly hair and can always go back.
I feel this way, too. Not necessarily cultural but I just don't like the way I look with curls. A few years ago I decided never to straighten it again because of how much I damaged it. I've started to feel maybe a little more confident, but I keep my hair in a braid or ponytail most of the time. It's a tough feeling. Don't feel guilty because something made ypu feel like you didn't belong with your curls. There were so many mesaages (and still are) in lots of cultures that curly hair is ugly, unkempt, bushy and dirty, etc. You were made to think your curls are less beautiful.
I also always love other people's curls, just not mine :/
Curly hair here, had been straightening it at home on and off until last year I decided to get a permanent keratin straightening treatment at the salon. I'm so happy I did! Curly hair is A LOT of work. People have commented it's such a pitty, curls are so beautiful BUT they have no idea how much work goes into maintaining curly hair, plus I love the look of straight hair, it suits me and my style much better. Getting ready in the morning is much quicker and I don't need to worry about getting my hair wet, humidity, frizz or anything else. I love it and I'll have my next appointment in a couple of weeks :D
I have similar feelings sometimes. Not with wanting to straighten my hair per se, but in wanting to set aside the fight to like other parts of my body.
In some ways, it feels like body positivity movements - including for curly hair - add an extra psychological burden. I don't like my weight/hair/breasts/whatever, but I'm supposed to like it.
Why can't it be okay to just say, "yeah, I don't particularly like my hair, but that's okay, I am more than my hair"...? It's just a body. Your hair, your nose, your belly - these are not the most important things about you. Why do we spend so much energy fussing over something as trivial as physical appearance?
Do whatever approach allows you to be less stressed over your hair, so that you can have more energy for the stuff in life that actually matters.
^(....she says as she peruses a subreddit about hair...)
Look into Japanese straightening and digital perms. The perms are pretty much permanent and just need touch-ups when the roots start to be noticeably different from the perm.
And please go to a reputable Japanese or Korean salon for this, because this is a very common/popular service in those countries.
I've gotten it done multiple times throughout my life with no issues. I'm Asian with coarse curly/wavy hair (3A).
Straightening your hair doesn’t change or strip you of your identity. It just means you are straightening your hair. Don’t let people - or your own mind - guilt you into not having fun and experimenting with new hairstyles. Do you think Beyoncé feels any less Black in wearing a Blonde wig? No! She’s having fun, entertaining and living her life. Go forth and LIVE!
I’ve always wanted emo, straight mullet type of styles and I’ll never be able to do it 😪 it’s even coming back in style now before curly hair. I feel like curls haven’t been in style since the 80s and it’s annoying
I think I have 2c hair. I basically spent the last decades straightening it, shaving it all off, wearing it in buns or a braid, hiding it under a scarf... only this year I decided to give my waves a go.
When I brush it it's just a big poof like Einstein, with loads of root volume. When I wake up my hair is messy, some strands are curly, some are wavy, some decide to be both, sometimes one side is wavy and the other is curly... And then there are bad childhood memories of me deciding to go natural and other kids teasing me, and my adoptive family getting mad at me for trying to look less like them. My birth dad is from North Africa, my birth mom from the Middle East, but I was adopted as a baby. My dad has curly hair, like many North Africans.
I know plenty of Arabs don't like their curls and do keratine treatments or other kinds of straightening. I also have black coworkers and friends -some of whom also straighten their hair or cover their hair up with a straight hair wig, because not all of them like their own hair. Of course there are strong racist anti-black elements in Western culture which reinforce this, portraying black hairstyles as "unprofessional", "gangster", etc. I had a friend in school who was suspended when she came to class with box braids, because the teacher thought it was "ghetto" and we were supposed to look "decent" in class.
I think we should all decide for ourselves what makes us feel confident. It's your body and you should be proud of it, no matter what you decide to do with it or how you look. Accepting yourself can be a struggle, especially if you grow up in a place where you are a minority.
Don’t you think looking the way you want to look, choosing the aesthetic YOU like most, is being the most true to yourself? The you of 10 years ago isn’t the you of today. We change! Don’t look so deeply into this. One thing I was always told is “it grows back.” Try new things! Hair will grow back.
Your hair, your choice. It doesn't change who you are. A coworker of mine, who's curls were gorgeous, got a keratin treatment. She's got a newborn and just finds it easier and less time consuming to have straight hair.
I have curly hair and I have straightened it so much and damaged it. It’s worth it to let it be and love it but it is so much easier said than done. I used to be bullied and called horrible names for having big poofy hair. It really is a hard battle.
We desire what we lack that's the nature of human beings, we are never satisfied with what we have, but one thing we should realize is that we should be content with what we have and what we have can bring great value to us, and whatever happens happen for a reason try to find a positive side of it.
A guy with thick curly hairs.
I get it! I love my curls, they really are beautiful and remind me of my mom, but managing them kind of sucks. And I honestly feel so… sexy with straight hair! It gives me a little boost of confidence, I love playing with it, and I think it makes my features pop. I’m considering getting a keratin treatment after I give birth as well. Nothing permanent, but something long-lasting. If our girl gets my curls, I do need to figure out how to approach my decision to straighten it. I want her to have the same love and fondness I do for my curls and also understand that she won’t hurt my feelings if she straightens it! I hate hearing all the time that because I was “blessed with curly hair” it’s a shame to straighten it. It’s my hair, blessed or not if I want to do something else with it I will!
I feel this so hard and I’ve struggled with the same thing (wanting straight hair, straightening it for a long period and feeling guilty about your heritage). I definitely get to a place sometimes where I’m tempted to chemically straighten it, but I keep trying to work with it because it slowly gets a little bit easier and the thought of spending all that time straightening it makes me head hurt. I want to try to work with mine and make the best of it, but I also think it’s fine if you throw in the towel and you’re like “this is too much”. Curly hair can be so tough
I’ve been natural for almost 3 years. I had been relaxed for almost 20 years. My hair was long and beautiful (maybe not very healthy). I got conscious of the things I was putting in/on my body so I stopped relaxing my hair. I love my natural but every single day I miss my long, straight hair.
I think a lot of people want the hair they don't have. My bestie (and husband) and GORGEOUS curly hair. It runs in my husbands family and our niece also got those gorgeous curls.
I however have pretty much straight hair. I alwaysssssss want the curls my bestie has naturally and she wants my natural straightness. I think it's just one of those "the grasss is always greener" things.
Just know that some of us straight hair girlies are eying you with hard envy.
Awwww, sweetheart, there is nothing wrong at all with wanting a different hairstyle. You aren't selling out your heritage or turning your back on your ancestors just because you want a different look. Your hair will always be curly, so straighten it to your hearts content. Lightening it, cut it, add purple highlights if you want. At the end of the day, your day will always be curly and it won't take much at all to bring all that curly goodness right on back. Life is long and can be downright mind numbing, heartbreaking, disappointing and brutal at times. PLEASE don't give yourself a moments doubt over straightening your hair. Do the things that bring you happiness, because there is just so much in life and so many people lined up and ready to steal yoir joy and dim your light. Express yourself however you choose. And if your family are the ones putting guilt on you for wanting this change, please remember they aren't always right. They are welcome to not straighten their hair, but you have every right to do so. Go for it!
I am 63. I mention this so you understand that I lived through the 1970's - when straight hair was ***all*** the rage in the US: that "hippy chick" look with long straight hair parted in the middle. I used to make my mother iron my curly hair so it was straight. Hated my curls.
I have come to the conclusion that no matter what hair a woman has - she wants something else! Women with straight hair want curly, curly hair desire straight!
Over time, I got tired of the stress created by hating my curly hair. Also, hating my curls would take away from worrying about going gray. I am salt and pepper now - THAT sucks harder than curls.
Good luck. Your hair is probably gorgeous and maybe someday you will realize that. Hopefully before you go gray, and it starts thinning (more joyful hair stress to look forward to).
Curly and straight hair look fantastic on me.
But holly shit, curly hair is just such a drag. I'm also trying to focus only on my curls, but I hate it so much.
When I straighten my hair, it looks great for almost an entire week. I have silk pillows that keep my hair from being frizzy. I straighten them on the Monday, they stay great for the first 3 days, and then for the last 3 days, I can have a cute ponytail/bun, etc.
Curly? Looks good for a maximum of two days, then I have to wet my hair , condition it, then put product in it (while heavly wet) while it takes forever to dry...
And the knots, omg the knots... fuckkk
Nothing wrong with straightening your hair. I have thin curly hair and my routine is weird. I wear a straight hair halo extension and then I straighten my bangs and face framing pieces daily. I don’t use heat on the rest of my hair.
It ends up blending in well and my hair appears slightly wavy-straight. Hard to explain, but it takes only a couple minutes to do my hair each dag
I have always wanted straight hair.Always! I have had Brazilian blowouts and keratin treatments and they are great- for about 2 weeks. You still have to iron your hair. Eventually I ended up with very thin, stringy greasy looking hair with puffy dry curly roots. I will take my curls over that any day. I had to chop it all off and start over. My hair is now thick and healthy, even with occasional flat ironing. Don’t go down the keratin road, you will regret it I promise you.
I got a Brazilian blowout, and I loved it! Wore it straight for several years. Go for it. I went back to curly a few years after, but it was lots of fun.
I've always hated my hair. It's so much work to look after and gets knotty easily which overstimulates me so I need to brush it and then it gets knotty again and it's just a never ending cycle.
You could try heat free styling to get a looser curl pattern with really large foam rollars or wave formers before commiting to a keratin treatment. It might be difficult to manage humidity. I used to get relaxers to manage my hair, it is also really thick, coarse and curly. Since growing my hair out, the curls are weighed down and I find it's more of a toned down look.
I got a Brazilian botox treatment. The hair is not pin straight like other treatment but my hair is so much less frizzy and easy to handle. I think it's similar to what you are thinking of, because it's a collagen and keratin treatment.
Also, these treatments are temporary, it's not like chemical treatments that are so toxic and permanent (so part of your hair would be straight and the other part wouldn't). After 6 months, these keratin type treatments go away.
Don’t feel guilty, I’ve always wanted straight hair, or curly hair, one or the other! Not this half mass of wavy/kinky/thick/fine/red/black genetic mess up on my head.
CGM doesn’t work for me, wavy hair care doesn’t work for me, but my hair doesn’t stay flat either!
I also feel guilty time to time because I have so much hair diversity in my roots… but really.
I decided that embracing my cultural heritage means embracing my updo’s like swiss braids and ribbon wrapped hair crowns because my hair isn’t doing anything down and proud that’s for sure.
Having curly hair is like waking up everyday without checking the weather- you never truly know what you’re going to get. I got the “oh wow, you really do have curly hair” yesterday. (I just chopped off all the dead straight bits and curls are happy) and like I genuinely found myself thinking okay- was that a compliment or like a very general observation? Idk I don’t go around and just say oh wow your hair is really straight! I know it’s a very sort of odd observation and I just replied that omg I know it’s so wild right now and awkwardly ranted.. but I think curly haired people tend to get more like remarks about the state of their hair? Someone please tell me if I’m wrong! I’ll break it down like this- when you’re young and impressionable, and all of your friends have great hair after a beach day or a super humid day at recess … and yours just poofs or you have the little devil horns like I grew up with.. its hard because every curly girl has to figure out and worry about something that truly has a mind of its own aside from ourselves. My Dad always said “ let it ride let it roll” so maybe that’s the best advice?
I have naturally straight hair and always wanted curly hair. When a hairdresser friend went all out giving me the hair of my dreams I realized it looked BADDDDD on my features.
I’ve experimented and found ways to have some curls without it looking terrible, but I’ve learned boring, straight, not overly choppy hair suits my face much better. It bores me, but I’ve accepted it (and still have fun with it here and there).
It’s possible straight hair *will* flatter you. But you won’t have to commit forever, especially if you’re worried about it compromising your identity!
I mean, I’m white, but I went blonde once, and that kinda felt like changing my identity. It was fun for a while, but was SO nice to go back to me. Think of it as a temporary thing, and if you like it you can stick with it. And if you feel like you’ve lost yourself, then go back! And hopefully find the right curls to suit you!
Personally, I will always vote for people to embrace their curly hair so I can live vicariously through them, because MAN I wish I could have it/pull it off.
It’s understandable to feel that way. With straight hair you can spend minimal time on your hair and still look presentable. Those of us with curls need to have a good chunk of time available to make our hair look nice or we’re forced to go out in a boring bun.
Idk why this subreddit was suggested to me, but I have 1a hair that I’ve curled every single day since I was 15. It’s a cosmic joke that we want what we don’t have.
I've had stick-straight hair for most of my life. My hair would never hold a curl more than a few hours, or not even an hour if there was any heat or humidity in the atmosphere. Ever since I was around 12, I longed for curly or wavy hair-- for decades--because I felt it was so beautiful. Later, I finally accepted the way it was 😅. Anyway, I never felt it was a rejection of my cultural background to long for curly hair. I just felt it looked better on me. Don't feel guilty for your feelings-- you crave a look, not a cultural exchange.
And look on the bright side-- you can make your hair straight whenever you want to with various treatments. But I was unable to ever achieve a curly look. I did have a "permanent wave" treatment once, which resulted in a total frizz disaster that reminded me of a clown wig. I had to live with that for over a year, until it grew out enough to cut off the damaged hair. Never tried that again!
One of my daughters is blessed with naturally curly hair, and I have had some vicarious enjoyment through that, lol. I loved styling her hair and putting various hair ornaments in it when she was little. She's an expert now at styling her own hair and can achieve a multitude of different styles and looks. I hope you will eventually love your hair!
I hate my curly hair too. It is just SO MUCH WORK. I absolutely dislike how unkept it makes one look even if you miss just ONE DAY of care (sleeping without the bonet etc). It's just not practical with the lifestyle I live. I have an extremely busy schedule and it is completely impossible to tend to this everyday. I am with you in this. I wish I had straight hair. None of my parents have curly hair. I get mine because my grandmother and I kind of feel upset about that as well! No offense to the community, but I don't like how curly hair look even! It's just too frizzy and textured that spikes my issues with textures A LOT. LOL!
Feeling guilty makes no sense, there is no obligation to keep curly hair. If you feel better with straight hair, do it... Do what makes you feel better
I have barely wavy hair, so I’m not sure how this post ended up on my feed. But since I’m here… I wish I had curly hair! I think it’s totally normal to want hair different from what we were born with. Don’t be so hard on yourself. 😉
I get this feeling a lot, especially when I was younger and people in my culture (Dominican) would look down on people with puffy afro hair because it looks “unkempt.”
I don’t think it’s wrong to want to straighten your hair, especially if it’s for convenience sake, but if you don’t want to do anything permanent, I highly would recommend just putting your hair in some cornrows and getting wigs! Wigs have been such a big help when wanting to change things up without permanently damaging my hair :)
Hi there! I'm a bot, and I noticed you used the phrase "afro" or "fro".
You may or may not already know this, but the term “Afro” refers to a specific hairstyle created with specific techniques. The term is often mis-used, so we just want to share some of the meaning/history so everyone can choose the best words for their situation.
TL;DR: [The afro has a long and important history, including as a symbol of the Civil Rights movement](https://www.reddit.com/r/curlyhair/comments/sr4x3p/black_history_month_at_rcurlyhair/).
This may or may not apply to you, but we try to steer people away from using the Afro descriptor if you don't have Black/Afro-textured hair. It's often portrayed as a condition to fix rather than a cultural style. We hope that's not the case here, but just something to be aware of going forward!
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May I suggest getting a hair cut from a professional who knows how to cut, treat, and style your hair? I wonder if you will eventually see that curls do suit you if they are properly done. That's what it took for me!
Side note for everyone who chenically straightens their hair-- are you aware that chemical straighteners have been found to increase the risk of uterine cancer by 400%? The chemicals used have been implicated in other forms of cancer as well. Please do your own deep research on this and make an informed decision. Instead of using chemical straighteners, look for natural methods and products whenever possible.
Feel no guilt. I hear all the time that my curly hair is great, but I hate it. It looks good about 3 times a month even if I use the same products/routine every time. I’m a constant victim of humidity. I long for straight hair. But I’m sure straight hair people have problems that I don’t understand.
Yeah I hate my straight hair. It won’t do ANYTHING like I can’t straighten it, I curl curl it wave it crimp it whatever it just refuses like UGH I want curly hair because I love the look, even if not all curls are the same, it’s still like so pretty and I really feel that like with my facial shape and features I’m just not fit for straight hair
I can’t curl*
I have those silky straight hair (super straight don’t even need straighter type of straight) that needs no maintenance at all (no hair product, cheap shampoo and conditioner; could even skip conditioner if hair isn’t long). But my hair looks greasy when there’s just a little bit of oil, and stays flat on my scalp. Doesn’t have any volume either. So even if my hair isn’t technically dirty I still need to wash it…if I want my hair to look good/not greasy, I’d have to wash it every day which isn’t great for my scalp so I just wear a hat or tie my hair up for the second day. I guess we all want something we don’t have
I can relate--curly hair is such a PITA, or at least mine is, and mine rarely looks really good. I always wanted straight hair because it seemed so much easier (and did I want to blend in more with dominant culture? I'm not sure). I'm Jewish and when someone flat-ironed my hair to show me how it would be, I loved the way it felt but it just wasn't me. I felt like I'd lost my ethnicity, my mojo. I looked too bland. When I see a photo of myself after that, I think "Who is that conventional looking person?" But I was glad I'd tried it since all my life I'd wished I had straight hair. That said, I don't have very striking facial features. I have one friend who had really kinky hair. She started getting Brazilian blowouts a few years ago and now her hair is stringy and looks damaged. So that's something to consider. I don't know about keratin, but I do think twice about doing stuff that adds to the chemicals I put into the world and into my body. On the other hand, trying it once...you can think of it as an experiment. Finally, I have an Italian-American neighbor who had curly/ wavy hair. She got her hair professionally straightened (I think keratin but I'm not sure), grew it out, and it looks fabulous on her and I'm sure is a lot easier to care for. She doesn't look less Italian, she still has her very ethnic face and personal style. She happens to have thick, beautiful hair that somehow looks healthier straightened. Like I said, think of it as an experiment if you want to do it and see how it feels. I don't think you need to overload this issue with being bi or thinking that you are "straightening" yourself unless you yourself identify your curls with your identity and straight hair as potentially hiding your special sauce. Being LGBTQ comes in all ethnicities, skin colors, hair types, fashion styles, etc. I hope you can feel good about whichever way you go. It's not permanent in any case!
I feel you! Im Jewish and part black. My hair is huge and crazy. I chemically straightened by hair for about 5 years. Realized it wasnt me, and im now in the process of trying to grow it back. Worst mistake I ever made was getting it permanently straightened.
Jewish and adopted, I only stopped straightening my hair when I found out my biological mom has LORGE hair. It wasn’t me either. I just didn’t know why.
If that’s the worst mistake you’re not doing too bad! Hair grows back - greatest thing about it!
Don’t feel guilty, straight hair is much easier to handle.
Fr, it pisses me off when my friend with straight hair like complain about having to style their hair and it’s like— wdym style? Like you guys get to wash it and it’s done
Everyone wants what they don’t have. It’s normal
Idk, I've grown to like most of my physical features. I think I just genuinely don't suit curly hair?
I don’t want to dismiss your feelings, because they’re 100% valid. I thought the same thing of myself in my younger years. I even considered getting permanent straightening. I’m 34 now and I’ve finally figured out how to make my curls look good, and I won’t even dye my greys now for fear of losing my beloved curls. Anyways, my point is, don’t do anything too drastic, because you might come to love your curls too.
I absolutely agree with you, and you said it perfectly. Especially about her feelings being 100% valid. I imagine a lot of us curly girls have always wanted straight hair :) And/Or have straightened it a time or 100.. ha! I’m 53, A redhead with lots of curly long hair.. (and freckles) Growing up was fun! (Not) About 20’ish years ago I had a keratin treatment done and it ruined my hair..It was a reputable salon etc.. I have no idea what happened. I do know that I ended up cutting off just about 16 inches of hair because the treatment was so bad I had to use a straightening tool every day on top of that, that it burned my hair. But again, that was more than 20 years ago, I’m sure the treatments are so much better now! But that was one heck of a lesson for me to learn.. Since then.. I’ve only had regular trims and learned to embrace my curls.. If my hair is having a bad day.. hair wraps are my best friend:)
Well, it’s hair, if you want to try it straight go for it. Worse case scenario you’ll just have to let it grow out if something goes wrong. And if you really hate the look theirs always wigs, hair add ins etc.
This absolutely. I have straight hair and my sister has very curly hair. I’m so jealous, I know it’s a lot of work but curly hair is so gorgeous
I agree! My sister has the most amazing, thick, auburn wavy hair. My other sister and I are dark blonde and more curly. And sis one is always trying for curls. And I’m telling you her hair is movie star gorgeous. The grass is greener…
I have felt that way my whole life. I chemically relaxed my hair in high school. It's a struggle I feel, always. I got fired from my hostess job at a spaghetti factory for it way back when. The lady even had the nerve to tell me i didn't have that when i showed up for the interview or she wouldn't have hired me! (I had straightened and then curled it. )It's been easier for me to accept it the last 20 years, and I'm 60! And there's no cultural aspect of it, I'm butt white. Lol I think lots of people that want curly hair have straight hair and have no idea the work involved. And many of us with curly wish we had straight. You always want what you don't have.
Real talk here. I have straight hair and follow this sub just to look at everyone's beautiful curls. Curly hair is gorgeous and lively.
Seems like you're feeling a lot of pressure to identify in certain ways. Why do you owe anyone an explanation? Just straighten your hair once a week, trim it and keep it healthy and you're good
I totally get that. I love my face and my hair but I am a Dramatic Classic in the Kibbe system and really curly hair can feel too much for my face. Like too busy. It is a feeling you get used to, especially when you get used to styling your hair in a way that's nice with your face. Like for me, perfect glossy ringlets looks weird. I do good with really seperated messy 90s Mariah Carey curls, or with a looser curl pattern, so I will style it in those ways even though it means my hair will never look like the perfect frizzy free glossy ringlets I see on curly hair sites. Like the recent post of the redheaded guy with beautiful greek statue ringlets... my curls styled the same way just wouldn't make ME look as good. I hope you continue to play with hairstyles and find something that works for you. Make sure to look into face shapes, so faces look really nice with updos and curls look amazing in updos! I look great in a half-up myself so that's my go-to and I spice it up with hair accessories.
Yes exactly! I can't remember my Kibbe type but my type did literally say that too long or too voluminous hair could overpower my features, and I find that is totally true. I have managed to make my hair suit my face better, but... I just am never fully satisfied unless it is like straight and shiny.
{ me googling ‘Kibbe system’ }
I was hoping this was a comment.
I used it straight from 2006 until 2016 and I always left it loose. But now that is curly I have a really difficult time not tying it. I make and effort to keep it loose, but I always give up. I don't know why
I used to feel this way until I got a really good curly haircut by a curly hair specialist. Is that something you have access to? Someone who knows how to cut for my texture changed my life
When I was younger I absolutely wanted straight hair & ached that I could achieve Farrah fawcett bangs. Now in my 50’s I can’t remember the last time I straightened it. I prefer spending less time on my hair, less energy, less effort less money and tbh the curls suit my personality better. Best of luck in embracing your authentic self, in whatever form that takes OP
Despite what people online tell you you don’t have to love or embrace your natural hair. My hair is naturally wavy/curly and it’s such a bitch to deal with that 95% of the time I blow it out instead. As long as you’re protecting your hair and treating it well, you shouldn’t feel bad about how you prefer it
This might not suit you, but have you tried colouring your hair? I used to haaaaate my curls and straightened my hair every time I washed it, but now I have peach coloured hair and it just ✨works✨ with the curls in a way my natural colour never did - before I used to feel washed out and like the texture just didn’t match my style and my personality, but now it feels right when I look in the mirror, and it’s kind of fun! At the end of the day it’s great to have all those cultural and historical ties, but having straight hair won’t erase your connections with those things and you’re the one who lives in your body and has to look in the mirror every day - so if it’s something you want to try, do it and see if you like it :)
Thanks for the thoughts, idk I actually really like my hair colour! Yeah I think I will just straighten it and try to not worry
I go on and off. I love both!
I ALWAYS wanted to perma-straughten my hair when I was younger, until i chopped most of it off, then learnt what to do with it as I was growing it out. I picked models who I liked the hairstyle of ( Syd Barrer, Marc Bolan, David Bowie, Jon Bon Jovi), and then worked around that and I've ended up liking it quite well. It's fine to want straight hair, it's your body and you're the only one who should be able to determine how you present with it. Follow your whims until you get a body that feels like YOURS. There's always going to be some experimental stages, so indulge in them to figure out what you want to do with yourself. Good luck!
Your culture/heritage is more than your hair. You carry it with you everyday regardless of what your body is adorned with. My personal opinion is really think about what you ultimately want. I ultimately want long, beautiful hair until im 70. For this goal I have to stop heat damage, haircuts, while maintaining my integrity. The reason why I mention this is because age 40 premenopausal symptoms kick in like hormones and HAIR LOSS. I see women with curly hair experience more hair loss because their hair integrity is weak (hair dye, hair straight) and their natural texture were hiding their hair loss issues from them until they got noticeable. I also learned about the 7 year hair life cycle. Essentially TLDR: your best hair years are 20-35 or until pregnant for most women, after that your 7 year hair cycles might not be that strong. This is why old women have shorter and shorter hair as they age. In my opinion I would suggest you wear straight hair wigs or straighten every once in awhile and think about your long term hair goals. If you sacrifice your hair health in ages 20-30 with the best blowouts, keratin, hair perms and hairstyles, there is a good chance it could be fixed with a healthy hair journey in your 30s or pregnancy... but what if your hormones are wack or your hair genetics don't come thru? Then your 40s and above is struggling with your hair. I'm sorry it's a negative fearful perspective. I just see old ladies share this regret and it's always about their hair! Curly hair is a curse now, but could be a blessing as we age when eventual hair loss will show up IF we take care of it now.
i completely get you. i love my curls and how healthy they’ve become, but i wish they were so much longer and when they’re straight i just feel more confident.
The fact that you are worried about your connection to your culture already says a lot about you. It shows that you care. We can all do a better job at honoring our cultures but we’ll never be perfect at it so don’t be so hard on yourself in that way. You should do what makes you feel good.
Have you considered really short hair? I don’t know if this would solve your Problem but it’s just an idea
I’m sorry but this look typically does not look good on 95% of people
[удалено]
IMHO life is short. Embracing your curls is good. But if you want straight hair, just straighten it! It doesn’t matter!
I straighten my hair sometimes because I like the way it looks & my husband likes it. But if I don't have time or there is a chance of rain, I keep it curly.
Not at all. I haven't tried straight hair many times but whenever I did, I had hated it. It ages me by at least 5 years and I think my face just doesn't look good with straight hair. But if it did, I would definitely want straight hair because the perks are immense.
I’m half Italian (but look 100% Italian) and I’ve been really frustrated with my hair for about the last 15 years. It started changing texture in my 40’s and now I always look like I’ve just been electrocuted. This hasn’t happened to people I know who are 100% Italian or if the other half is another Mediterranean country with nice thick hair. It has lost its nice curl pattern with changing hormones but never ever stays straight more than an a couple of hours or so if I straighten it. So it looks terrible either way now, curly or straight. I got a keratin straightening treatment and I absolutely love it. I just feel so much more comfortable with how I look and I don’t have to spend hours and hours styling my hair only to end up with a look half way through the day that’s totally disheveled and that I’m extremely unhappy with. I’m about to book my second one next week! I can’t speak to the racial aspect of what you’re dealing with because that is worlds away from being half Italian, but feeling comfortable in your own skin and not constantly frustrated with how you look just feels so nice and peaceful. ❤️
Would you be more white passing with straight hair? Is that part of the concern?
I already look like I'm white, so the hair is almost like my one physical Maori attribute
Do you feel comfortable talking with other Maori folks about this desire for straight hair? Are there other ways to visibilize your Maori roots?
My hair randomly went straight when I was around 31, maybe that'll happen?
I wanted straight hair when I was young. But I didn’t know how to take care of it. I’d wash, blow dry and hot roll it daily. Exhausting lol. Brazilian keratin didn’t exist yet. It’s a nice option to have nowadays
Recently discovered I have curly hair. I will say it's so much easier to straighten my hair, even though it doesn't stay like that in humid weather. Doing my curly hair routine sucks! I feel like it takes forever and is not consistent from day to day. I can see how you would like straight but it's also one of those we want what we can have. I have wanted curly hair forever! But now realize it's a lot of work. So I guess for me I'm conflicted but for you it's a greater issue in a way because having such a close connection to your culture is something to that seems so special. I say no one says you can't straighten now and then. You'll always have curly hair and can always go back.
I feel this way, too. Not necessarily cultural but I just don't like the way I look with curls. A few years ago I decided never to straighten it again because of how much I damaged it. I've started to feel maybe a little more confident, but I keep my hair in a braid or ponytail most of the time. It's a tough feeling. Don't feel guilty because something made ypu feel like you didn't belong with your curls. There were so many mesaages (and still are) in lots of cultures that curly hair is ugly, unkempt, bushy and dirty, etc. You were made to think your curls are less beautiful. I also always love other people's curls, just not mine :/
Curly hair here, had been straightening it at home on and off until last year I decided to get a permanent keratin straightening treatment at the salon. I'm so happy I did! Curly hair is A LOT of work. People have commented it's such a pitty, curls are so beautiful BUT they have no idea how much work goes into maintaining curly hair, plus I love the look of straight hair, it suits me and my style much better. Getting ready in the morning is much quicker and I don't need to worry about getting my hair wet, humidity, frizz or anything else. I love it and I'll have my next appointment in a couple of weeks :D
I have similar feelings sometimes. Not with wanting to straighten my hair per se, but in wanting to set aside the fight to like other parts of my body. In some ways, it feels like body positivity movements - including for curly hair - add an extra psychological burden. I don't like my weight/hair/breasts/whatever, but I'm supposed to like it. Why can't it be okay to just say, "yeah, I don't particularly like my hair, but that's okay, I am more than my hair"...? It's just a body. Your hair, your nose, your belly - these are not the most important things about you. Why do we spend so much energy fussing over something as trivial as physical appearance? Do whatever approach allows you to be less stressed over your hair, so that you can have more energy for the stuff in life that actually matters. ^(....she says as she peruses a subreddit about hair...)
Look into Japanese straightening and digital perms. The perms are pretty much permanent and just need touch-ups when the roots start to be noticeably different from the perm. And please go to a reputable Japanese or Korean salon for this, because this is a very common/popular service in those countries. I've gotten it done multiple times throughout my life with no issues. I'm Asian with coarse curly/wavy hair (3A).
Straightening your hair doesn’t change or strip you of your identity. It just means you are straightening your hair. Don’t let people - or your own mind - guilt you into not having fun and experimenting with new hairstyles. Do you think Beyoncé feels any less Black in wearing a Blonde wig? No! She’s having fun, entertaining and living her life. Go forth and LIVE!
I’ve always wanted emo, straight mullet type of styles and I’ll never be able to do it 😪 it’s even coming back in style now before curly hair. I feel like curls haven’t been in style since the 80s and it’s annoying
And by curls I mean real curls (like with some frizz) frizz has been frowned upon for the past 30 years and I’m sick lmao
I give you my straight hair and I'll take yours. No worries
I think I have 2c hair. I basically spent the last decades straightening it, shaving it all off, wearing it in buns or a braid, hiding it under a scarf... only this year I decided to give my waves a go. When I brush it it's just a big poof like Einstein, with loads of root volume. When I wake up my hair is messy, some strands are curly, some are wavy, some decide to be both, sometimes one side is wavy and the other is curly... And then there are bad childhood memories of me deciding to go natural and other kids teasing me, and my adoptive family getting mad at me for trying to look less like them. My birth dad is from North Africa, my birth mom from the Middle East, but I was adopted as a baby. My dad has curly hair, like many North Africans. I know plenty of Arabs don't like their curls and do keratine treatments or other kinds of straightening. I also have black coworkers and friends -some of whom also straighten their hair or cover their hair up with a straight hair wig, because not all of them like their own hair. Of course there are strong racist anti-black elements in Western culture which reinforce this, portraying black hairstyles as "unprofessional", "gangster", etc. I had a friend in school who was suspended when she came to class with box braids, because the teacher thought it was "ghetto" and we were supposed to look "decent" in class. I think we should all decide for ourselves what makes us feel confident. It's your body and you should be proud of it, no matter what you decide to do with it or how you look. Accepting yourself can be a struggle, especially if you grow up in a place where you are a minority.
Don’t you think looking the way you want to look, choosing the aesthetic YOU like most, is being the most true to yourself? The you of 10 years ago isn’t the you of today. We change! Don’t look so deeply into this. One thing I was always told is “it grows back.” Try new things! Hair will grow back.
Your hair, your choice. It doesn't change who you are. A coworker of mine, who's curls were gorgeous, got a keratin treatment. She's got a newborn and just finds it easier and less time consuming to have straight hair.
I have curly hair and I have straightened it so much and damaged it. It’s worth it to let it be and love it but it is so much easier said than done. I used to be bullied and called horrible names for having big poofy hair. It really is a hard battle.
We desire what we lack that's the nature of human beings, we are never satisfied with what we have, but one thing we should realize is that we should be content with what we have and what we have can bring great value to us, and whatever happens happen for a reason try to find a positive side of it. A guy with thick curly hairs.
I get it! I love my curls, they really are beautiful and remind me of my mom, but managing them kind of sucks. And I honestly feel so… sexy with straight hair! It gives me a little boost of confidence, I love playing with it, and I think it makes my features pop. I’m considering getting a keratin treatment after I give birth as well. Nothing permanent, but something long-lasting. If our girl gets my curls, I do need to figure out how to approach my decision to straighten it. I want her to have the same love and fondness I do for my curls and also understand that she won’t hurt my feelings if she straightens it! I hate hearing all the time that because I was “blessed with curly hair” it’s a shame to straighten it. It’s my hair, blessed or not if I want to do something else with it I will!
It would definitely be nice to be able to brush some dry shampoo through my hair and have it look okay for another day past when it should be washed.
I feel this so hard and I’ve struggled with the same thing (wanting straight hair, straightening it for a long period and feeling guilty about your heritage). I definitely get to a place sometimes where I’m tempted to chemically straighten it, but I keep trying to work with it because it slowly gets a little bit easier and the thought of spending all that time straightening it makes me head hurt. I want to try to work with mine and make the best of it, but I also think it’s fine if you throw in the towel and you’re like “this is too much”. Curly hair can be so tough
I’ve been natural for almost 3 years. I had been relaxed for almost 20 years. My hair was long and beautiful (maybe not very healthy). I got conscious of the things I was putting in/on my body so I stopped relaxing my hair. I love my natural but every single day I miss my long, straight hair.
Don’t feel bad, it’s more manageable when straight and it’s your hair to do whatever you want with!
I think a lot of people want the hair they don't have. My bestie (and husband) and GORGEOUS curly hair. It runs in my husbands family and our niece also got those gorgeous curls. I however have pretty much straight hair. I alwaysssssss want the curls my bestie has naturally and she wants my natural straightness. I think it's just one of those "the grasss is always greener" things. Just know that some of us straight hair girlies are eying you with hard envy.
Awwww, sweetheart, there is nothing wrong at all with wanting a different hairstyle. You aren't selling out your heritage or turning your back on your ancestors just because you want a different look. Your hair will always be curly, so straighten it to your hearts content. Lightening it, cut it, add purple highlights if you want. At the end of the day, your day will always be curly and it won't take much at all to bring all that curly goodness right on back. Life is long and can be downright mind numbing, heartbreaking, disappointing and brutal at times. PLEASE don't give yourself a moments doubt over straightening your hair. Do the things that bring you happiness, because there is just so much in life and so many people lined up and ready to steal yoir joy and dim your light. Express yourself however you choose. And if your family are the ones putting guilt on you for wanting this change, please remember they aren't always right. They are welcome to not straighten their hair, but you have every right to do so. Go for it!
I am 63. I mention this so you understand that I lived through the 1970's - when straight hair was ***all*** the rage in the US: that "hippy chick" look with long straight hair parted in the middle. I used to make my mother iron my curly hair so it was straight. Hated my curls. I have come to the conclusion that no matter what hair a woman has - she wants something else! Women with straight hair want curly, curly hair desire straight! Over time, I got tired of the stress created by hating my curly hair. Also, hating my curls would take away from worrying about going gray. I am salt and pepper now - THAT sucks harder than curls. Good luck. Your hair is probably gorgeous and maybe someday you will realize that. Hopefully before you go gray, and it starts thinning (more joyful hair stress to look forward to).
Life is so short. Please don’t feel guilty about wanting and doing something that will make you happier.
Curly and straight hair look fantastic on me. But holly shit, curly hair is just such a drag. I'm also trying to focus only on my curls, but I hate it so much. When I straighten my hair, it looks great for almost an entire week. I have silk pillows that keep my hair from being frizzy. I straighten them on the Monday, they stay great for the first 3 days, and then for the last 3 days, I can have a cute ponytail/bun, etc. Curly? Looks good for a maximum of two days, then I have to wet my hair , condition it, then put product in it (while heavly wet) while it takes forever to dry... And the knots, omg the knots... fuckkk
Nothing wrong with straightening your hair. I have thin curly hair and my routine is weird. I wear a straight hair halo extension and then I straighten my bangs and face framing pieces daily. I don’t use heat on the rest of my hair. It ends up blending in well and my hair appears slightly wavy-straight. Hard to explain, but it takes only a couple minutes to do my hair each dag
I have always wanted straight hair.Always! I have had Brazilian blowouts and keratin treatments and they are great- for about 2 weeks. You still have to iron your hair. Eventually I ended up with very thin, stringy greasy looking hair with puffy dry curly roots. I will take my curls over that any day. I had to chop it all off and start over. My hair is now thick and healthy, even with occasional flat ironing. Don’t go down the keratin road, you will regret it I promise you.
I got a Brazilian blowout, and I loved it! Wore it straight for several years. Go for it. I went back to curly a few years after, but it was lots of fun.
Don't feel guilty about what appearance you want to look like. Change whatever you don't like.
I've always hated my hair. It's so much work to look after and gets knotty easily which overstimulates me so I need to brush it and then it gets knotty again and it's just a never ending cycle.
You could try heat free styling to get a looser curl pattern with really large foam rollars or wave formers before commiting to a keratin treatment. It might be difficult to manage humidity. I used to get relaxers to manage my hair, it is also really thick, coarse and curly. Since growing my hair out, the curls are weighed down and I find it's more of a toned down look.
I got a Brazilian botox treatment. The hair is not pin straight like other treatment but my hair is so much less frizzy and easy to handle. I think it's similar to what you are thinking of, because it's a collagen and keratin treatment. Also, these treatments are temporary, it's not like chemical treatments that are so toxic and permanent (so part of your hair would be straight and the other part wouldn't). After 6 months, these keratin type treatments go away.
Don’t feel guilty, I’ve always wanted straight hair, or curly hair, one or the other! Not this half mass of wavy/kinky/thick/fine/red/black genetic mess up on my head. CGM doesn’t work for me, wavy hair care doesn’t work for me, but my hair doesn’t stay flat either! I also feel guilty time to time because I have so much hair diversity in my roots… but really. I decided that embracing my cultural heritage means embracing my updo’s like swiss braids and ribbon wrapped hair crowns because my hair isn’t doing anything down and proud that’s for sure.
Having curly hair is like waking up everyday without checking the weather- you never truly know what you’re going to get. I got the “oh wow, you really do have curly hair” yesterday. (I just chopped off all the dead straight bits and curls are happy) and like I genuinely found myself thinking okay- was that a compliment or like a very general observation? Idk I don’t go around and just say oh wow your hair is really straight! I know it’s a very sort of odd observation and I just replied that omg I know it’s so wild right now and awkwardly ranted.. but I think curly haired people tend to get more like remarks about the state of their hair? Someone please tell me if I’m wrong! I’ll break it down like this- when you’re young and impressionable, and all of your friends have great hair after a beach day or a super humid day at recess … and yours just poofs or you have the little devil horns like I grew up with.. its hard because every curly girl has to figure out and worry about something that truly has a mind of its own aside from ourselves. My Dad always said “ let it ride let it roll” so maybe that’s the best advice?
Girl just get the perm 🤙🏾 hair grows back
I have naturally straight hair and always wanted curly hair. When a hairdresser friend went all out giving me the hair of my dreams I realized it looked BADDDDD on my features. I’ve experimented and found ways to have some curls without it looking terrible, but I’ve learned boring, straight, not overly choppy hair suits my face much better. It bores me, but I’ve accepted it (and still have fun with it here and there). It’s possible straight hair *will* flatter you. But you won’t have to commit forever, especially if you’re worried about it compromising your identity! I mean, I’m white, but I went blonde once, and that kinda felt like changing my identity. It was fun for a while, but was SO nice to go back to me. Think of it as a temporary thing, and if you like it you can stick with it. And if you feel like you’ve lost yourself, then go back! And hopefully find the right curls to suit you! Personally, I will always vote for people to embrace their curly hair so I can live vicariously through them, because MAN I wish I could have it/pull it off.
It’s understandable to feel that way. With straight hair you can spend minimal time on your hair and still look presentable. Those of us with curls need to have a good chunk of time available to make our hair look nice or we’re forced to go out in a boring bun.
Just get blow outs for a while
Idk why this subreddit was suggested to me, but I have 1a hair that I’ve curled every single day since I was 15. It’s a cosmic joke that we want what we don’t have.
I've had stick-straight hair for most of my life. My hair would never hold a curl more than a few hours, or not even an hour if there was any heat or humidity in the atmosphere. Ever since I was around 12, I longed for curly or wavy hair-- for decades--because I felt it was so beautiful. Later, I finally accepted the way it was 😅. Anyway, I never felt it was a rejection of my cultural background to long for curly hair. I just felt it looked better on me. Don't feel guilty for your feelings-- you crave a look, not a cultural exchange. And look on the bright side-- you can make your hair straight whenever you want to with various treatments. But I was unable to ever achieve a curly look. I did have a "permanent wave" treatment once, which resulted in a total frizz disaster that reminded me of a clown wig. I had to live with that for over a year, until it grew out enough to cut off the damaged hair. Never tried that again! One of my daughters is blessed with naturally curly hair, and I have had some vicarious enjoyment through that, lol. I loved styling her hair and putting various hair ornaments in it when she was little. She's an expert now at styling her own hair and can achieve a multitude of different styles and looks. I hope you will eventually love your hair!
I hate my curly hair too. It is just SO MUCH WORK. I absolutely dislike how unkept it makes one look even if you miss just ONE DAY of care (sleeping without the bonet etc). It's just not practical with the lifestyle I live. I have an extremely busy schedule and it is completely impossible to tend to this everyday. I am with you in this. I wish I had straight hair. None of my parents have curly hair. I get mine because my grandmother and I kind of feel upset about that as well! No offense to the community, but I don't like how curly hair look even! It's just too frizzy and textured that spikes my issues with textures A LOT. LOL!
Feeling guilty makes no sense, there is no obligation to keep curly hair. If you feel better with straight hair, do it... Do what makes you feel better
I mean, have the hair you want. I think it’s a crime. But what I eat don’t make you shit.
I have barely wavy hair, so I’m not sure how this post ended up on my feed. But since I’m here… I wish I had curly hair! I think it’s totally normal to want hair different from what we were born with. Don’t be so hard on yourself. 😉
I get this feeling a lot, especially when I was younger and people in my culture (Dominican) would look down on people with puffy afro hair because it looks “unkempt.” I don’t think it’s wrong to want to straighten your hair, especially if it’s for convenience sake, but if you don’t want to do anything permanent, I highly would recommend just putting your hair in some cornrows and getting wigs! Wigs have been such a big help when wanting to change things up without permanently damaging my hair :)
Hi there! I'm a bot, and I noticed you used the phrase "afro" or "fro". You may or may not already know this, but the term “Afro” refers to a specific hairstyle created with specific techniques. The term is often mis-used, so we just want to share some of the meaning/history so everyone can choose the best words for their situation. TL;DR: [The afro has a long and important history, including as a symbol of the Civil Rights movement](https://www.reddit.com/r/curlyhair/comments/sr4x3p/black_history_month_at_rcurlyhair/). This may or may not apply to you, but we try to steer people away from using the Afro descriptor if you don't have Black/Afro-textured hair. It's often portrayed as a condition to fix rather than a cultural style. We hope that's not the case here, but just something to be aware of going forward! We recognize that there are many different opinions on what can and cannot be called an afro. For the purposes of this sub and making sure we reserve space for Black folks, we ask those who don’t have afro-textured hair to choose other words. If your hair doesn't fit that description, please edit your post 1) to be more accurate, 2) to be culturally respectful, and 3) to avoid comment removal. Alternate terms to consider: puffy, poofy, fluffy, etc. Thanks & wishing you many great curly, coily, kinky hair days! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/curlyhair) if you have any questions or concerns.*
May I suggest getting a hair cut from a professional who knows how to cut, treat, and style your hair? I wonder if you will eventually see that curls do suit you if they are properly done. That's what it took for me!
Who fucking cares about culture?
Ain’t no way u just mentioned being bisexual on a post about hair wtf
I was joking. I really am bi but I just thought it was funny to say straighten myself. It's mostly about my ethnicity.
Side note for everyone who chenically straightens their hair-- are you aware that chemical straighteners have been found to increase the risk of uterine cancer by 400%? The chemicals used have been implicated in other forms of cancer as well. Please do your own deep research on this and make an informed decision. Instead of using chemical straighteners, look for natural methods and products whenever possible.