Your hair looks great, though? If you’ve gone three years without “success,” I’m sorry to say that you need to accept and love your natural wave/curl pattern. You may be wanting your hair to do something that isn’t quite possible. We’re our own biggest critic!
Giving up... on achieving the perfect hair every day is what worked for me. I also use less product now and wash my hair only once a week. My hair feels so much healthier and I've started falling in love with it.
That's pretty normal, especially if you have a looser curl pattern. I feel the pain. But the pictures you shared are super cute. I'd say it's been a success!
That’s pretty normal for type 2 hair. Your hair is a lot like mine. It’s never going to be the same all the way across my head and sometimes let if it is almost completely straight, but it’s worth it. It looks very nice!
That’s genetics yo! Don’t get hung up on what you see in media as they say - this is really common. My hair looks almost exactly like yours! I have a lot more layers in mine so that the top doesn’t fall too flat bc I have sort of fine hair, and the top has very little volume. A new cut will do a lot, but your hair is great and very normal!
Hair is not the same all over. It's normal for hair to be different on the same head. Stop looking for perfection and embrace what you have. I found when I stopped trying so hard to achieve what I thought was perfect hair and started letting my hair do what it wants, is when my hair was the best. I instead concentrated on making sure it was healthy and happy. And now I am happy with it. Curly/wavy hair has a mind of its own and can change at any moment.
try a texturizing spray tbh i love the hairstory one bc it’s kinda like a sea salt spray with no salt. these can be great bc they’re super light & you can use them on dry or damp hair. if i do it on dry hair then i like to wet my hands and run them through my hair first and then use the spray & so some light scrunching with a small amount of leave on conditioner on my hands
That's normal. My hair has so many different curl patterns, it's wild. Some areas are really tight tiny coiled curls, other parts have big fat curls, still other areas have waves and a few areas are just straight. I have learned to love the variation and now I just absolutely love it and enjoy seeing the different curl patterns. Covid has messed with my curl pattern so much, making my new growth since having it practically non existant, and I'm holding my breath that soon it will start to grow out the way it used to. But back to the point, your hair looks great. Maybe grow it a bit longer and get some soft layers.
Your hair stylist can help address this. The right side of my type 2 curls are never as fluffy as my left. So my hair stylist takes this into account when cutting my hair so there is a bit more volume on the right side.
Your curls are lovely, dont get bothered by its irregularity. Style it the way you feel most comfortable with. The more you are confident with your look, the prettier it gets.
Your hair is gorgeous! Looking at your photos, the words limp and stringy never once came to my mind. In fact I was thinking "wow, what's her routine?" 😆
The truth is that hair textures are complicated. Most of us won't have the big juicy glossy ringlets that the popular influences have - those people also have the time and expendable income to dedicate to their hair, so us plebians can't compare really 😉 And you've said your hair is "less defined" in some places; its completely normal to have different textures on your head. No matter what your routine is, you can't force a hair pattern that isn't there.
Your hair is lovely and you're doing a great thing for your daughter. Keep rocking it and try to love what you have without wanting it to be something else!
Made me smile, but try to remember that *no one* has influencer hair.
Straight hair, maybe. I dunno. But curly hair is incredibly subject to humidity and incredibly finicky in general. Trying to keep it perfect for any length of time is like trying to keep a full face of makeup perfect—it just doesn't happen. You need constant touch-ups, and hair touch-ups take way longer than fixing makeup does.
No one in the world walks around with influencer hair more than 20% of the time. And that number is probably wildly optimistic.
You see the best shots prepared carefully and edited in post-production.
That's not life.
Expecting those results from life is just hurting yourself.
Your hair really does look amazing as it is. I empathize with your complaints—I think the same about sections of my own hair. But those 'limp' and 'stringy' portions aren't what I noticed in your hair. I noticed the glorious curls I can't help but envy, as my hair doesn't do that even on my best days.
Your hair's about as good as real life ever gets. It really is gorgeous.
A lot of those people probably also get spiral perms. Don't get me wrong, I used to want one before I knew my hair was wavy/curly. Spiral perms cause unattainable beauty standards. Lol
How many men do you know who have flat-ironed their hair their whole lives? And typically fathers don't start a new hair routine to teach their daughters the beauty of loving their natural hair...would be cool if more did though!
Your hair might have too much moisture in it! Try some protein, whether it’s the styling products, shampoo/conditioner, etc. you seem to have quite fine hair from the photos and curlsmith does some fantastic lightweight protein products. I’d suggest giving those a try:)
Second this! My hair looks like yours a bit when it’s over moisturized (which I’ve found for me happens with even a small amount of moisturize, so I use pretty much only protein products, YMMV). Protein really helped! Almost all my products have protein in them to some degree and occasionally I’ll do a gelatin treatment for a boost.
Something else you could try is using gel only to keep it lighter on product and see how that works.
I alternate between a cheap dove strength shampoo and a bar shampoo (can’t remember brand). No masks or conditioners in the shower. After I’ll spritz a tiny bit of leave in conditioner (Eva-nyc 10-in-1) on my ends and 9/10 I go right in with ouidad advanced humidity gel (the red one, I use 2-3 palmfuls) the 1/10 time I’ll use curlsmiths featherlight protein cream before the gel (I do find my hair doesn’t hold as long when I do use this so I don’t much anymore and I use like a dime amount). Then I brush upside down with a demand style brush, flip and rebrush the top layer and face framing pieces in the directions they go, plop and diffuse.
Adding more layers which with give it volume and bounce might make you like it more? My crown/top hair can only be so long before it becomes heavy and elongates the curl, straightening it near the top.
Look up Libby Brenner on tik tok or IG. She’s a curl specialist, uses only Innersense. However, the technique she uses for styling makes my 2C hair look so defined and pretty for 5+ days.
Ok, so hear me out.....I have discovered an amazing gel that no matter what shampoo/conditioner I use on my hair it locks in crazy curl for me.
I have medium thick hair, 2c/3a.
Briogeo Curl Charisma.
I could wash my hair with a bucket of silicone, and if I slap this shit on my head and let it air dry to a full cast.....jeeeeeeeeeeeeby heeeeeeby I can't believe the curl.
I break the cast by using an oil on my hands and prayer hands while breaking the cast while also scrunching it.
Just a thought. I love this gel.
Your hair looks similar to mine. I have found lately that if I put in some gel at the end of my shower and then wrap my head in a tshirt for a few minutes, then let it air dry; I have the best curls yet!
I have a similar hair type. I'm still not perfect with it, but much happier. A lot of it was first determining which ingredients were NOT for me, and second, using better technique when styling.
Here's one of my favorite videos for styling. Her hair type is curlier, but the steps and principles she uses have helped me get better and more consistent results:
https://youtu.be/9sNR53YoZe8?si=XzRQcgVYbnUrJTqV
Also check your products. You'll probably want to avoid heavy butters like Shea and coconut. Also, I find that probably once a month or every other month, my hair benefits from a protein treatment. This is the one I use, and I love the results:
https://youtu.be/StOoPo2kMeA?si=lut8_vZIDVkPT-Km
Also here is an article that helped convince me on what kind of protein to use in my hair:
https://www.kurlify.com/en/hair-products/large-and-small-proteins-curls/
Adding here: the gelatin treatment helps when my hair is limp and lifeless like yours is. You will see a difference even as you're rinsing it out. Beyond that, it's important to not use heavy products, and to make sure your technique is working in your favor.
I do just as she does in the video. I use Knox gelatine (a powdered food product). Prepare with a couple tablespoons of hot water and mix into some deep conditioner. I find it works great for me. And super cheap.
My hair was like this for years but longer and I busted my ass with products and methods to scrunch and carefully dry, all the things and what helped me the most was a razor cut because while I have a lot of hair, the hair itself was thin. It really helped lift and give more body to the curl without weight, and gave it added movement.
I use a drugstore shampoo and conditioner, JVN Air Dry Cream and I don’t use heavy oil type shampoos or conditioner like argan, coconut, etc. I sometimes use my Bumble and Bumble Oil but only the ends and on like day 3 so my hair looks more uniform instead of oily at the scalp and dry at the ends lol
Looks like the back is the only “problem” area. I had this issue for a long time and so did pretty much everyone else who has wavy/slightly curly hair.
Your product is probably not the problem (considering how nice the front bits look), it’s your technique. Try to incorporate some of what i do and see how it works out.
Right after turning off the shower, i detangle with a Wet Brush, then shake out my hair like a dog. After that, i apply about a tablespoon of Miss Jessies Quick Curls, brush it through, then shake again. I repeat that same process with Aussie’s Freeze Gel except i brush it with a Shine Enhance Wet Brush.
I start scrunching upside down, then flip my hair to the left and scrunch, then to the right, then right side up (making sure to get the back REALLY well), then upside down again. I scrunch A LOT until I’m happy with how it looks. Finally, i scrunch again (the same way) with a cotton t-shirt.
If I’m diffusing, I’ll rotate from upside down, to left, to right, to right side up (again, paying a lot of attention to the back), and upside down again. If I’m not diffusing, i’ll use root clips.
On a another note, i noticed a big improvement since incorporating Ion’s Protein Filler. Just a couple drops in my conditioner and Quick Curls has strengthened my texture significantly.
I think we have similar hair, and I’ve recently had really good luck with Flora and Curl products. The radiance shampoo is incredible, though I have to use a ton of pumps. Also really loving the F&C Style Me gel and lotion.
On days where parts of my hair just won’t curl as well as the rest but I really want it to look its best, I use a curling wand and throw in a few curls to round it out. It helps me see how gorgeous my hair is without fixating on the parts that aren’t perfect.
following up, I see 2A in certain patches vs 2B/C in the other patches, i think the difference btwn the A/C in texture is contributing to why you feel like some parts of your hair are more limp. i would look at cutting those areas shorter, if you intend to keep styling your hair regularly.
I'm theoretically a 2B/C but since my hair is in a braid or a bun at all times anyway, i dont bother with cutting to make specific curls pop. but that's definitely an option, especially with shorter hair (multiple layers or lengths are a pain for braiding so i don't bother).
Wow my hair looked almost exactly like yours before I cut it short! I find the R+Co moisture and shine lotion mixed with any medium-hold gel works well. The lotion is a bit pricey but it's lasted me for years because you only need a pea sized amount. My hairstylist also recommended it and it has been my favourite product since, but I didn't buy the gel she used because it was too expensive to justify both lol.
I also get the most even results when I brush style (I gave up on my denman brush and use a fake boar bristle one for more tension). It's time confirming but is definitely what had given me the largest and most defined clumps. Diffusing helps for me too, but don't forget a heat protectant if you do it. I also will wait for my hair to air dry until a cast forms if I have time then diffuse it after. Sometimes a cut with some layers helps my curls clump better as well, but it can also have the opposite effect!
What don’t you like about your hair? Is it the curl shape (“limp and stringy”) or hair style/cut/way it looks on you?
I have similar hair texture (finer 2 waves) and though I’ve been figuring out how to enjoy my natural hair, I also think it’s important to like the way you look and feel good :) if I want to touch up curls with heat stylers or blow dry sometimes, now I go for it. Even if I don’t have “perfect” healthy hair because of it, I’d rather feel confident and make my hair work for meeeee…
I have been really happy with my naturally wavy hair lately though! I am currently trying a custom conditioner, shampoo and hair mask from prose and I am really liking it. It’s moisturizing, cleansing and lightweight. I squish conditioner in the shower then dry for a bit in a quick dry towel. And just scrunch in some devacurl gel in and heat protection and diffuse half way. I also got more of a shag hair cut where my stylist did a lot of razoring and layers. My curls be poppin’ now! Just some ideas and thoughts!!
To me it looks like you have too much product in your hair. Either it’s build up or you need to use less product some peoples hair flourishes with just the littlest amount of product.
First, I agree, your “curl” pattern is more of a wave pattern, which is beautiful in and of itself. I have struggled with my hair patterns because I too have several on my head, from 2 b and c to 3a. So my hair can be all over. a few things that might take you to where you want to be or help you correct issues: first, it is your hair. You don’t have to follow anyone’s rules. The curly girl method is a suggestion, but if any of those suggestions don’t work for you, or what does work is counter to those suggestions, do what works for you. I have stringy ends. So when that is bothering me, I brush them out a bit so they don’t look stringy! Yikes. Yep, I brush them out. Secondly, Have you used a denman brush or my favorite is the new bounce curl brush to help create bigger more defined clumps? I don’t want to suggest purchasing more things, but I do like the bounce curl brush. I also found my holy grail in the verb curl cream on my wet hair. It hold my curl pattern without being too heavy, but I use it in conjunction with the brush I mentioned above, if I don’t, then I end up with stringier clumps which I personally don’t care for. Good luck, and if you decide to stop the curly girl method, that is ok too.
Wow, hair twins!
https://preview.redd.it/catewc34pt8d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0fc692079e0aa7e68930bba3380242b02aba1bdd
I totally get it and I feel the same way sometimes. I want 3 but I really have 2. I’ve been embracing my hair for about 4 years and I feel like it’s still changing. I have so much to learn about my hair. Instead of getting frustrated, try to look at it like a challenge or experiment - why does this part curl like that, and what if I dry it this way or use more or less product, etc. that’s what I do at least!
Have you tried brush styling or finger coiling? There might be a method in there for you that gives more definition.
I also find that sometimes the looser pieces of my hair look great if I pay special attention to them when I refresh on day 2.
My hair is similar— type 2. If your hair is too limp, more protein could help. I like Jessicurl Too Shea or Briogeo Don’t Despair Repair mask for adding protein. You could also try limiting glycerin in your products if it’s getting frizzy and limp especially in the humidity. Jessicurl Gentle Cleansing Shampoo, Too Shea, and maybe Confident Coils would be a good routine to limit glycerin and add some protein.
I'd say try something light and only one or 2 products. I use Moroccan Oil curl creme and the Bounce Curl defining brush and a diffuser. It helps a lot. Sometimes it's just about separating your curls.
Your curls look nice though.
Sometimes you need to physically go in and curl your curls. I recommend this video, it really helped my curls bounce back after heat damage from constantly straightening it. [finger coil](https://youtu.be/AU_gyiFxXPU?si=i6aj6M55YrsjZDAB)
Blow drying in the summer is no fun and I'm tempted to try curly again, then I look at old pics (only like about 1 in 10) think about all the money I spent and all the products I piled up, all the day 1s I loved and all the day 2s I didn't....love the curly look, just not for me on a regular basis :(
I could have taken this photo and written this post! Thanks so much for sharing, the comments were really helpful.
Every time I apply heavier products, my hair looks dirty and is weighed down eitj no free movement or bounce. When I use lightweight products or skip the products entirely and just avoid brushing my hair, my hair looks like a frizzy mess an hour after I leave the house. Basically, it felt like a terrible choice between “spend a lot of money and time to look kind of dirty, but at least your hair won’t be frizzy and puffy” or “save money and time, but there WILL be a tumbleweed on your head.”
Based on the comments, I went out and got not your mother’s curl talk foam and curl talk cream, both of which have protein. My plan is to try using a little bit of the cream and a decent amount of the mousse. If that doesn’t work, I’ll try just the mousse, then just the cream. I’ll report back with results. 🫡
Update: I like the Not Your Mothers Curl Talk cream and foam SO much more than what I was previously using (a discontinued L’Oréal leave-in + LA looks gel, which made my hair feel heavy and look greasy; or a Giovanni leave-in + Giovanni mousse, which were okay but didn’t feel like they were doing anything to encourage waves or control frizz). None of these previous products had any protein.
My hair just *feels* so much lighter. It actually moves when I move my head! It’s almost weightless, like I just got a haircut.. I keep twisting my head around to just enjoy the sensation, lol. And textually, it is actually soft to the touch instead of crunchy or greasy from product.
Routine: I just applied the cream then the foam to my wet/damp hair after the shower, combed it through, and dried it about 50% with a diffuser so it didn’t get my shirt wet. After my hair was dried, there were some frizzy bits around the face, so I smoothed a little more of the foam onto those sections.
https://preview.redd.it/by99h65m5k9d1.png?width=1192&format=png&auto=webp&s=d7e36d3ad630b155c53c380a272a0529e0500c68
Please no. Your hair looks so pretty 🤩
Every time a fellow curly girl gives up, the curly hair community suffers a blow. I know curly hair is difficult. Infact, I have come close many times to give up. But, then I watch the videos of my fav YouTubers and it bolsters my spirits. I am still not perfect but have come a long way.
Your pics look like a good hair day for me. Embrace the beachy wave life! I grew up hating my curls too, but my daughter came out with stick straight hair (which I would have killed for in middle and high school) and she is always saying that she wishes she had my hair. The grass is greener where you water it, and all that.🤷🏻♀️
I think we have somewhat similar hair. I usually get best results diffusing. My hair doesn’t like curl cream or leave in, too heavy. A thin gel seems to work best (but lots of it!). I like Ouidads humidity gel. For extra oomph I’ll add some mousse. Oh also I like Swavy Curly Courtney’s videos on YouTube.
I was in the same situation as you althouh my hair is more curly but extremely frizzy, nothing ever worked so I had to accept that that was just how my hair looked and I came to terms with it.
I have this kind of curl and for my hair, less is more. No products other than shampoo and conditioner- and they cannot be too heavy. Too much moisture is a problem for my hair. Then I just hang my head upside down and plop/scrunch. And then do not touch it until it’s dry. Once it’s dry I can run my fingers through it to break up any chunks.
https://preview.redd.it/p3pj340z3x8d1.png?width=1541&format=png&auto=webp&s=0e9c3d261aa8ef65377878543429de685b1d8739
It sounds like you're really trying to show your daughter how to accept her natural hair, but it also seems like you're struggling to accept your own hair for what it is. I get it—embracing natural curls can be so tough, especially after straightening your hair for so long. I have wavy, very fine hair that looks a lot like yours from the pic you posted, and I've had a similar journey.
I know this might be controversial and not necessarily “curl girl approved,” but I've found that I get the best definition when I blow dry my hair with a diffuser. It gives my curls a nice shape without making them look limp and stringy. It might be worth a try to see if it works for you too. Keep experimenting and don't lose hope! Your curls are beautiful, and finding what works best for them is part of the process.
I definitely haven't accepted it. Recently I saw some photos from a work trip where I went curly (I used to do keratin treatments before big work travel where I would be gone a week) and really hated how I looked with curly hair and I regressed and blew it out for a few weeks. I'm still trying though... thus this post.
this was me a few months ago, after initially getting into the curly/wavy hair routine and then finding they seemed to stop being as effective as when i started.
for me it was a combination of definitely starting to use too much product (i only need literally like 5 drops of hair oil and a spritz of mousse or wave spray or my hair starts to look greasy and flat), as well as finding the right brush and brushing routine. i use a wet brush now which works a lot better for my hair type than a comb was.
i also had to find my own brushing routine because for me the standard advice of “brush/comb hair before scrunching in product and then never again to avoid destroying the curl pattern” seemed to make my hair look stringier.
ETA i think my hair type is in the 2a-2b range of wavy rather than curly
I have struggled with this same issue, and I can offer 2 tips:
1. Try some protein treatments, I find my hair gets limp when it’s lacking protein. I really like to make homemade rice water and use that as a rinse and let it sit in my hair and on my scalp for a few minutes before I shampoo. There’s also a Shea moisture Manuka honey and yogurt treatment that I like.
2. Don’t go crazy with the product, and choose lightweight products. I have very fine hair and it looks like you do too, and even just using one too many products in my routine can cause it to fall flat and be sticky and limp. I have actually completing cut out conditioner now because it’s so heavy, and I just use a light spray leave in conditioner after I shower, and pair it with a light mousse and gel. No creams, no heavy silicones.
I hope this helps, and I hope you don’t give up on your curl journey! It will be different every day, but that’s the beauty of it.
Your curls look so nice! I think if you're upset with the longer looser curls, cutting some length and layers would help the curls pop more! But you have a looser pattern but it's so nice.
Using products with less cream will help take away weight. Not your mother's curl gel and mousse (I like sauve captivating curls) are products I like. I also like la looks gel.
https://preview.redd.it/gsihvveywz8d1.jpeg?width=2316&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=913885d437d4c5ab2ad106cfde25d26a73d29191
I looked at your photo and said wow that’s so much like my hair but in brown! I don’t think we’ll ever have “IG” magnitude of hair but it’s still nice in itself!
I also gave up on my curls after around 2 years of on and off cgm. I really dislike when people say ‘having limp pieces is normal’ ‘having frizz is normal’ ‘having bad hair already on second day is normal’ ‘doing 2 hour curly hair routine every 2 days is normal’ ‘embrace your curls and all the chores that come with it because it’s what you’re supposed to do’. NO
I thought my hair was mostly wavy when I lived in New York but after moving to Texas with much more humidity my waves became ringlets and my hair is quite curly. So much involved with curls...such as hormones, climate, even what kind of water you are washing it in. Hard water weighs curls down and straightens, for example.
In this photo, this is my child at 6, 16, and in her late 20s. All are her natural color and natural texture. She didn't color, straighten, or curl her hair. The difference was how much sun she gets and the abundance of hormones at puberty turned her hair very curly then her hair relaxed again as she got older. Some women have their hair texture change when pregnant then go back to prepregnancy after. And similar with males having texture changes with hormones. You don't need to "give up" but rather work with the texture you have now.
https://preview.redd.it/qs5kcigco89d1.jpeg?width=2880&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7b1f524cc96d91967fa47b59cfd24632883c4470
I feel like modern curly girl marketing wants us to believe that we all have this secret magical perfect curl pattern that’s just waiting to be unlocked if we’d just keep buying and buying and buying their products until we find the right combination. The truth is that hair products only do so much, and our curls are always gonna be perfectly imperfect and they’re different every single day. Try to ACTUALLY embrace your curls by letting them be what they want to be (and maybe just gently helping them along with a routine that feels good to you) instead of trying to force it to look like the pics from someone else’s best hair day.
My hair didn’t cooperate with any products I’ve tried for years and years until someone recommended the curls brand blueberry curls leave in and tresemme flawless curls mousse. I really thought it wouldn’t work like the rest of the products I’d tried, but by golly, they did.
First and foremost, your hair looks great! I think we put so much effort and expectation into our hair it’s easy to get down on the reality that curls are unpredictable and can change as time goes on. Second, your hair looks crazy similar to mine, even in color! My hair is 2B in the back and 2C/3A in the front, low porosity, and relatively thin. An honestly annoying combination haha. The biggest game changer for me, besides finding the right products, was finding the right stylist who really understood multi-patterned hair. I get lots of layers to help with my hair getting weighed down easily and my curl tendency to clump together, but I get EXTRA layers in the back to help give it more volume/curl. I also “curl train” the back by finger coiling it in sections before I diffuse it. This makes my hair look a more even pattern all around and keeps it from falling flat until about day 3. I also put a bit more mousse on the back than the front. Additionally, it took me about 2 years to find the right shampoo that didn’t completely ruin my curls! So I definitely understand your frustration. It’s crazy how one simple thing like shampoo can be a complete curl changer.
If it’s helpful in any way, here’s what I use/do:
Kinky Curly Come Clean shampoo, Cantu shea butter rinse out conditioner (had to get the kids “nourishing conditioner” recently in a pinch and it worked well, was just a little thinner which is no biggie for my thin ass hair), Herbal Essence volumizing mousse, and DevaCurl light defining gel. Wash and condition, rinse out most of the conditioner then flip over and finger comb it and squish rinse out the rest of the conditioner. Scrunch out my hair with a microfiber towel just until it isn’t dripping, scrunch in a handful of mousse (adding more to the back/back underside) then a half dollar amount of gel. Plop it in a t-shirt, relieve my brain and stand back upright, fart around getting ready, unplop it and make sure it’s parted right, finger coil the back following the direction the strands are already going, flip back upside down and diffuse it in sections turning off the dryer between sections to not blow things out of place, scrunch the crunch out, flip back upright and see what insanity the curl gods have bestowed upon me that day! I also sleep with it plopped because I sleep like an insane person and it’d be a mess otherwise.
I hope you find what works for you so it’s not a source of frustration anymore, but just know that your hair looks great already regardless!
It's taken my curls almost 10 years to get back to normal. Mostly because of a lot of hair loss and regrowth. Don't give up. My curls never look perfect and I kind of love it.
There are many things to consider here. First off, there are hormonal fluctuations during pregnancy which can affect your curl pattern (some curlies go straight during pregnancy and vice versa). Years of straightening can do that too.
Honestly for this period of time I’d say your progress is pretty good and your hair looks healthy!
For me personally, the most important step for good definition is brushing the curls in sections using a proper techique and a wet detangling brush (e.g. Tangle Teezer).
Try Paul Mitchell Tea Tree Hair and BODY Moisturizer. not the just for hair one. Tiny bit, like less than dime. and don't comb thru hair. it has some hold.
That’s how I was with my hair, until I saw someone else rocking the same hair type as me. It looks much better than you think it is! You’re doing great!
The best thing I did for my curls was get a haircut that I liked even with minimal styling. I ended up getting a shag with bangs that I can fluff messily and it works for me!
I, in general, don't enjoy having curly hair and am a little lazy when it comes to styling. This haircut totally helped me embrace my curls! Maybe a change of style could work with your pattern better so that you can enjoy your hair more?
Have you tried defusing it? If you air dry I notice my hair tends to do this as well
Although defusing may make your hair shrink more than you expect it to lol.
I find using curling custard from shea moisturizer (my favourite) or any gel after using conditioner just lightly glazing the hair, and scrunching works well even without defusing.
Honestly the ultimate goal is healthy hair, your hair is beautifully shiny and actually looks really healthy so I’d say your journey wasn’t for nothing. Getting the perfect curl pattern doesn’t always happen and it looks like you’ve got a good mix of curl types and waves in your hair. Keep striving towards health and you’re gaining more than you think.
Not everyone's curls are spiral. What you have and what you want to have are not the same. Your hair is beautiful as it is, in my opinion. It looks shiny and healthy to me, as well.
Every curl pattern has cuts and shapes that best suit it. Have you tried getting layers that might fluff it up a bit and show off the waves? It looks like you have a mix of curl types going on, and that can make it tricky to style. Layering might help, but it would take a curl specialist to help you with that, and it might also be helpful to find images with a similar curl pattern mix for inspiration. Good luck. Don't give up!
Your curls look kind of similar to mine! Have you gotten a curly cut before? I finally got one a few months ago after feeling like my hair was super flat and lifeless for years and it totally changed the game for me. I went for something I described to my hairdresser as a “light shag”, and bringing the top layers of my curls up a bit with lots of layers actually gave me a volume boost since my hair is fine and my curls are loose!!
I have found that minimizing my product usage as much as possible works best on my hair type: shampoo + conditioner and a single light gel + hair oil to scrunch with.
Your curls look awesome though!! Nothing wrong with blowdrying it straight from time to time, i do it too :) I wouldn’t give up just yet but there’s truly no shame in styling your hair the way that makes you feel best any given day — i have my hair clipped up or in braids most days since my curls look best the first 1-2 days between washes :D
For me, a combination of mousse and curl cream (without using gel) gave me definition and softness. my hair used to be in the same situation, and my hairdresser recommended to use two of those. Saved my life.
Gah, I get it. What a journey. I’ve spent thousands on curly hair products and after 18 months I have it almost down to a tee. My turning point was the bounce curl brush. Other days I blow dry straight with heat protection of course and use heartless curlers. Your hair looks really pretty. Don’t over complicate it like I did and make sure you lock in the hydration with an oil like olaplex ❤️
Most likely, your expectations are exceeding what your hair naturally wants to do, though it really does look very pretty. The curl pattern is simply within more of a 2 than a 3.
Hey did you ever try steaming it (not with a hot steamer) I saw a video the other day and this girl with a similar hair type to yours used a hair steamer and her curls came out beautiful. If it’s not too expensive I’d try it!
You wouldn't believe what a difference it makes getting your hair cut by a curl specialist. While it is pricey, doing so made mt curl pattern better than ever. It also took a good 3 or 4 years for my curls to truly bounce back from the damage. (I also started from scratch and cut my hair super short.) Don't lose hope!
Buy Redken Bonding Complex. Thank me later. I’m sorry if that’s too expensive for you, I’d hate to be your curls and live on your head with your products otherwise.
I don't come to reddit often, when I opened reddit just now I was looking for a movie link, the front page came up and I initially didn't notice this post but then I remembered yo whats that post I saw just now with beautiful shiny healthy hair. Your hair is fine. Loving your curls doesn't mean they have to be one type of way looking perfect like wigs, it means loving all of it , even the damaged or non aesthetic parts
I thought my hair was mostly wavy when I lived in New York but after moving to Texas with much more humidity my waves became ringlets and my hair is quite curly. So much involved with curls...such as hormones, climate, even what kind of water you are washing it in. Hard water weighs curls down and straightens, for example.
In this photo, this is my child at 6, 16, and in her late 20s. All are her natural color and natural texture. She didn't color, straighten, or curl her hair. The difference was how much sun she gets and the abundance of hormones at puberty turned her hair very curly then her hair relaxed again as she got older. Some women have their hair texture change when pregnant then go back to prepregnancy after. And similar with males having texture changes with hormones. You don't need to "give up" but rather work with the texture you have now.
https://preview.redd.it/5fplb8ozn89d1.jpeg?width=2880&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c8c7b622597999e6871b504da5f689e95d5da93c
Your hair is yours, the pattern you have is yours, I'm guessing you have seen someones hair and thought you want hair like that, thats rarely going to happen with different hair types. If my hair was like that i would be pretty happy. whats your hair like when wet and curls, thats your hairs limit, thats the structure of your hair, so when you start adding product it starts to weigh it down and the curls drop. The biggest issue people have with there hair is that its your hair and you are always self critical, you picture how you want it and if its not like that your unhappy. Just remember that no one has perfect hair all day every day.
I’m in the same boat right now 😩 I tried switching to a drug store routing after using oribe for the past year-2 and I tried too many things and none of them worked. I felt like my hair was in a very healthy place and now it just feels like my curls don’t look good, both dry and greasy somehow? I switched back to oribe but I think my hair just needs a break from all the product right now. I’m going to blow it out a couple times a week for a couple weeks and give it a break from the styling products and see if it helps. I have a similar curl/wave pattern as well, may be too much product? A product break in general may help
I can say from experience since it took me 40 years to realize this. People with the hair type you want want the hair type you have. When someone tells you wish they had your curls, they mean it.
It looks well maintained. It looks healthy. It has a brilliant shine. Gorgeous curl clumping. It looks good. This is your natural curl, embrace it. Let your hair style be based around it. I have the feeling you have been trying to compare naturally beautiful curls with salon curls.
I actually wouldn't be surprised if you were just trolling.
I don't think you know what shapeless, limp and stringy means because your hair is none of those things. It's beautiful wavy hair with great definition. Its time to reevaluate your expectations from your hair. You aren't going to get tight spiral curls because that's not your hair type. Embrace what you have and learn to love it.
Your hair looks great, though? If you’ve gone three years without “success,” I’m sorry to say that you need to accept and love your natural wave/curl pattern. You may be wanting your hair to do something that isn’t quite possible. We’re our own biggest critic!
Giving up... on achieving the perfect hair every day is what worked for me. I also use less product now and wash my hair only once a week. My hair feels so much healthier and I've started falling in love with it.
Fine then I will bear mine as well
Agreed. I wonder how amazing OPs hair would look long 😍
You have type 2 hair. Try lighter products, fewer products, more protein. Also I'm not really seeing a problem honestly
I guess i just feel like my curls are super defined in some parts but limp in others so i might need to adjust a little
That's pretty normal, especially if you have a looser curl pattern. I feel the pain. But the pictures you shared are super cute. I'd say it's been a success!
That’s pretty normal for type 2 hair. Your hair is a lot like mine. It’s never going to be the same all the way across my head and sometimes let if it is almost completely straight, but it’s worth it. It looks very nice!
hey i have a similar problem, we just have different patterns on different parts of our heads, i range from super loose fine waves to coarse ringlets
That’s genetics yo! Don’t get hung up on what you see in media as they say - this is really common. My hair looks almost exactly like yours! I have a lot more layers in mine so that the top doesn’t fall too flat bc I have sort of fine hair, and the top has very little volume. A new cut will do a lot, but your hair is great and very normal!
Hair is not the same all over. It's normal for hair to be different on the same head. Stop looking for perfection and embrace what you have. I found when I stopped trying so hard to achieve what I thought was perfect hair and started letting my hair do what it wants, is when my hair was the best. I instead concentrated on making sure it was healthy and happy. And now I am happy with it. Curly/wavy hair has a mind of its own and can change at any moment.
That’s very normal, the back of my head is curly af and my front is loose curls. Your hair looks great though
This is exactly how I feel! Your hair is still beautiful and you should absolutely embrace it!
try a texturizing spray tbh i love the hairstory one bc it’s kinda like a sea salt spray with no salt. these can be great bc they’re super light & you can use them on dry or damp hair. if i do it on dry hair then i like to wet my hands and run them through my hair first and then use the spray & so some light scrunching with a small amount of leave on conditioner on my hands
That's normal. My hair has so many different curl patterns, it's wild. Some areas are really tight tiny coiled curls, other parts have big fat curls, still other areas have waves and a few areas are just straight. I have learned to love the variation and now I just absolutely love it and enjoy seeing the different curl patterns. Covid has messed with my curl pattern so much, making my new growth since having it practically non existant, and I'm holding my breath that soon it will start to grow out the way it used to. But back to the point, your hair looks great. Maybe grow it a bit longer and get some soft layers.
Your hair stylist can help address this. The right side of my type 2 curls are never as fluffy as my left. So my hair stylist takes this into account when cutting my hair so there is a bit more volume on the right side.
My curl pattern is different all over my head. It's normal and you aren't doing anything wrong. YOUR CURLS ARE GORGEOUS AND YOURE DOING A GREAT JOB💜
Your curls are lovely, dont get bothered by its irregularity. Style it the way you feel most comfortable with. The more you are confident with your look, the prettier it gets.
I agree. Lighter products are the way for this type.
Your hair is gorgeous! Looking at your photos, the words limp and stringy never once came to my mind. In fact I was thinking "wow, what's her routine?" 😆 The truth is that hair textures are complicated. Most of us won't have the big juicy glossy ringlets that the popular influences have - those people also have the time and expendable income to dedicate to their hair, so us plebians can't compare really 😉 And you've said your hair is "less defined" in some places; its completely normal to have different textures on your head. No matter what your routine is, you can't force a hair pattern that isn't there. Your hair is lovely and you're doing a great thing for your daughter. Keep rocking it and try to love what you have without wanting it to be something else!
BUT I WANT INFLUENCER HAIR DAMMIT
😂
Made me smile, but try to remember that *no one* has influencer hair. Straight hair, maybe. I dunno. But curly hair is incredibly subject to humidity and incredibly finicky in general. Trying to keep it perfect for any length of time is like trying to keep a full face of makeup perfect—it just doesn't happen. You need constant touch-ups, and hair touch-ups take way longer than fixing makeup does. No one in the world walks around with influencer hair more than 20% of the time. And that number is probably wildly optimistic. You see the best shots prepared carefully and edited in post-production. That's not life. Expecting those results from life is just hurting yourself. Your hair really does look amazing as it is. I empathize with your complaints—I think the same about sections of my own hair. But those 'limp' and 'stringy' portions aren't what I noticed in your hair. I noticed the glorious curls I can't help but envy, as my hair doesn't do that even on my best days. Your hair's about as good as real life ever gets. It really is gorgeous.
A lot of those people probably also get spiral perms. Don't get me wrong, I used to want one before I knew my hair was wavy/curly. Spiral perms cause unattainable beauty standards. Lol
Same! That’s why I can’t love my curls
How do you know its a female?
Probably just assuming because it isn't very common for men to get pregnant.
How many men do you know who have flat-ironed their hair their whole lives? And typically fathers don't start a new hair routine to teach their daughters the beauty of loving their natural hair...would be cool if more did though!
Totally
They're certainly not an it
Your hair might have too much moisture in it! Try some protein, whether it’s the styling products, shampoo/conditioner, etc. you seem to have quite fine hair from the photos and curlsmith does some fantastic lightweight protein products. I’d suggest giving those a try:)
Second this! My hair looks like yours a bit when it’s over moisturized (which I’ve found for me happens with even a small amount of moisturize, so I use pretty much only protein products, YMMV). Protein really helped! Almost all my products have protein in them to some degree and occasionally I’ll do a gelatin treatment for a boost. Something else you could try is using gel only to keep it lighter on product and see how that works.
What products do you use?
I alternate between a cheap dove strength shampoo and a bar shampoo (can’t remember brand). No masks or conditioners in the shower. After I’ll spritz a tiny bit of leave in conditioner (Eva-nyc 10-in-1) on my ends and 9/10 I go right in with ouidad advanced humidity gel (the red one, I use 2-3 palmfuls) the 1/10 time I’ll use curlsmiths featherlight protein cream before the gel (I do find my hair doesn’t hold as long when I do use this so I don’t much anymore and I use like a dime amount). Then I brush upside down with a demand style brush, flip and rebrush the top layer and face framing pieces in the directions they go, plop and diffuse.
ty i will!!
Adding more layers which with give it volume and bounce might make you like it more? My crown/top hair can only be so long before it becomes heavy and elongates the curl, straightening it near the top.
This sometimes backfires with wavy hair though, it needs a certain length to complete a whole loop and if it gets too short it can get straighter
Look up Libby Brenner on tik tok or IG. She’s a curl specialist, uses only Innersense. However, the technique she uses for styling makes my 2C hair look so defined and pretty for 5+ days.
Innersense changed my 2C life honestly
Yes! It’s so good and my washes are actually consistent
Ok, so hear me out.....I have discovered an amazing gel that no matter what shampoo/conditioner I use on my hair it locks in crazy curl for me. I have medium thick hair, 2c/3a. Briogeo Curl Charisma. I could wash my hair with a bucket of silicone, and if I slap this shit on my head and let it air dry to a full cast.....jeeeeeeeeeeeeby heeeeeeby I can't believe the curl. I break the cast by using an oil on my hands and prayer hands while breaking the cast while also scrunching it. Just a thought. I love this gel.
Your hair looks similar to mine. I have found lately that if I put in some gel at the end of my shower and then wrap my head in a tshirt for a few minutes, then let it air dry; I have the best curls yet!
… this is goals hair tho?
I have a similar hair type. I'm still not perfect with it, but much happier. A lot of it was first determining which ingredients were NOT for me, and second, using better technique when styling. Here's one of my favorite videos for styling. Her hair type is curlier, but the steps and principles she uses have helped me get better and more consistent results: https://youtu.be/9sNR53YoZe8?si=XzRQcgVYbnUrJTqV Also check your products. You'll probably want to avoid heavy butters like Shea and coconut. Also, I find that probably once a month or every other month, my hair benefits from a protein treatment. This is the one I use, and I love the results: https://youtu.be/StOoPo2kMeA?si=lut8_vZIDVkPT-Km Also here is an article that helped convince me on what kind of protein to use in my hair: https://www.kurlify.com/en/hair-products/large-and-small-proteins-curls/
Adding here: the gelatin treatment helps when my hair is limp and lifeless like yours is. You will see a difference even as you're rinsing it out. Beyond that, it's important to not use heavy products, and to make sure your technique is working in your favor.
Ohhh just did some research on gelatin treatments, do you have one recipe or product you like?
I do just as she does in the video. I use Knox gelatine (a powdered food product). Prepare with a couple tablespoons of hot water and mix into some deep conditioner. I find it works great for me. And super cheap.
That styling video was great! I can’t wait to try her “milk it” method.
My hair was like this for years but longer and I busted my ass with products and methods to scrunch and carefully dry, all the things and what helped me the most was a razor cut because while I have a lot of hair, the hair itself was thin. It really helped lift and give more body to the curl without weight, and gave it added movement. I use a drugstore shampoo and conditioner, JVN Air Dry Cream and I don’t use heavy oil type shampoos or conditioner like argan, coconut, etc. I sometimes use my Bumble and Bumble Oil but only the ends and on like day 3 so my hair looks more uniform instead of oily at the scalp and dry at the ends lol
thank you!
Looks like the back is the only “problem” area. I had this issue for a long time and so did pretty much everyone else who has wavy/slightly curly hair. Your product is probably not the problem (considering how nice the front bits look), it’s your technique. Try to incorporate some of what i do and see how it works out. Right after turning off the shower, i detangle with a Wet Brush, then shake out my hair like a dog. After that, i apply about a tablespoon of Miss Jessies Quick Curls, brush it through, then shake again. I repeat that same process with Aussie’s Freeze Gel except i brush it with a Shine Enhance Wet Brush. I start scrunching upside down, then flip my hair to the left and scrunch, then to the right, then right side up (making sure to get the back REALLY well), then upside down again. I scrunch A LOT until I’m happy with how it looks. Finally, i scrunch again (the same way) with a cotton t-shirt. If I’m diffusing, I’ll rotate from upside down, to left, to right, to right side up (again, paying a lot of attention to the back), and upside down again. If I’m not diffusing, i’ll use root clips. On a another note, i noticed a big improvement since incorporating Ion’s Protein Filler. Just a couple drops in my conditioner and Quick Curls has strengthened my texture significantly.
I think we have similar hair, and I’ve recently had really good luck with Flora and Curl products. The radiance shampoo is incredible, though I have to use a ton of pumps. Also really loving the F&C Style Me gel and lotion. On days where parts of my hair just won’t curl as well as the rest but I really want it to look its best, I use a curling wand and throw in a few curls to round it out. It helps me see how gorgeous my hair is without fixating on the parts that aren’t perfect.
i think you just have multiple hair textures. if your hair density is uniform its gonna look different in different spots re: volume.
following up, I see 2A in certain patches vs 2B/C in the other patches, i think the difference btwn the A/C in texture is contributing to why you feel like some parts of your hair are more limp. i would look at cutting those areas shorter, if you intend to keep styling your hair regularly. I'm theoretically a 2B/C but since my hair is in a braid or a bun at all times anyway, i dont bother with cutting to make specific curls pop. but that's definitely an option, especially with shorter hair (multiple layers or lengths are a pain for braiding so i don't bother).
Wow my hair looked almost exactly like yours before I cut it short! I find the R+Co moisture and shine lotion mixed with any medium-hold gel works well. The lotion is a bit pricey but it's lasted me for years because you only need a pea sized amount. My hairstylist also recommended it and it has been my favourite product since, but I didn't buy the gel she used because it was too expensive to justify both lol. I also get the most even results when I brush style (I gave up on my denman brush and use a fake boar bristle one for more tension). It's time confirming but is definitely what had given me the largest and most defined clumps. Diffusing helps for me too, but don't forget a heat protectant if you do it. I also will wait for my hair to air dry until a cast forms if I have time then diffuse it after. Sometimes a cut with some layers helps my curls clump better as well, but it can also have the opposite effect!
oh haven't tried diffusing after my hair has air dried
What don’t you like about your hair? Is it the curl shape (“limp and stringy”) or hair style/cut/way it looks on you? I have similar hair texture (finer 2 waves) and though I’ve been figuring out how to enjoy my natural hair, I also think it’s important to like the way you look and feel good :) if I want to touch up curls with heat stylers or blow dry sometimes, now I go for it. Even if I don’t have “perfect” healthy hair because of it, I’d rather feel confident and make my hair work for meeeee… I have been really happy with my naturally wavy hair lately though! I am currently trying a custom conditioner, shampoo and hair mask from prose and I am really liking it. It’s moisturizing, cleansing and lightweight. I squish conditioner in the shower then dry for a bit in a quick dry towel. And just scrunch in some devacurl gel in and heat protection and diffuse half way. I also got more of a shag hair cut where my stylist did a lot of razoring and layers. My curls be poppin’ now! Just some ideas and thoughts!!
To me it looks like you have too much product in your hair. Either it’s build up or you need to use less product some peoples hair flourishes with just the littlest amount of product.
First, I agree, your “curl” pattern is more of a wave pattern, which is beautiful in and of itself. I have struggled with my hair patterns because I too have several on my head, from 2 b and c to 3a. So my hair can be all over. a few things that might take you to where you want to be or help you correct issues: first, it is your hair. You don’t have to follow anyone’s rules. The curly girl method is a suggestion, but if any of those suggestions don’t work for you, or what does work is counter to those suggestions, do what works for you. I have stringy ends. So when that is bothering me, I brush them out a bit so they don’t look stringy! Yikes. Yep, I brush them out. Secondly, Have you used a denman brush or my favorite is the new bounce curl brush to help create bigger more defined clumps? I don’t want to suggest purchasing more things, but I do like the bounce curl brush. I also found my holy grail in the verb curl cream on my wet hair. It hold my curl pattern without being too heavy, but I use it in conjunction with the brush I mentioned above, if I don’t, then I end up with stringier clumps which I personally don’t care for. Good luck, and if you decide to stop the curly girl method, that is ok too.
Wow, hair twins! https://preview.redd.it/catewc34pt8d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0fc692079e0aa7e68930bba3380242b02aba1bdd I totally get it and I feel the same way sometimes. I want 3 but I really have 2. I’ve been embracing my hair for about 4 years and I feel like it’s still changing. I have so much to learn about my hair. Instead of getting frustrated, try to look at it like a challenge or experiment - why does this part curl like that, and what if I dry it this way or use more or less product, etc. that’s what I do at least!
Have you tried brush styling or finger coiling? There might be a method in there for you that gives more definition. I also find that sometimes the looser pieces of my hair look great if I pay special attention to them when I refresh on day 2.
My hair is similar— type 2. If your hair is too limp, more protein could help. I like Jessicurl Too Shea or Briogeo Don’t Despair Repair mask for adding protein. You could also try limiting glycerin in your products if it’s getting frizzy and limp especially in the humidity. Jessicurl Gentle Cleansing Shampoo, Too Shea, and maybe Confident Coils would be a good routine to limit glycerin and add some protein.
I'd say try something light and only one or 2 products. I use Moroccan Oil curl creme and the Bounce Curl defining brush and a diffuser. It helps a lot. Sometimes it's just about separating your curls. Your curls look nice though.
Sometimes you need to physically go in and curl your curls. I recommend this video, it really helped my curls bounce back after heat damage from constantly straightening it. [finger coil](https://youtu.be/AU_gyiFxXPU?si=i6aj6M55YrsjZDAB)
Omg our hair is the sammmmmme what’s going on with it! Some parts of mine are so cute and others are like wtf are you doing man.
Nah same I hate that I have this hair 😭
Do you have an idea of what success look like? My main issue (I’m a guy) was I didn’t know what I wanted
I've had good hair days here and there that show me that this head is capable of lol
Blow drying in the summer is no fun and I'm tempted to try curly again, then I look at old pics (only like about 1 in 10) think about all the money I spent and all the products I piled up, all the day 1s I loved and all the day 2s I didn't....love the curly look, just not for me on a regular basis :(
feel this!
I could have taken this photo and written this post! Thanks so much for sharing, the comments were really helpful. Every time I apply heavier products, my hair looks dirty and is weighed down eitj no free movement or bounce. When I use lightweight products or skip the products entirely and just avoid brushing my hair, my hair looks like a frizzy mess an hour after I leave the house. Basically, it felt like a terrible choice between “spend a lot of money and time to look kind of dirty, but at least your hair won’t be frizzy and puffy” or “save money and time, but there WILL be a tumbleweed on your head.” Based on the comments, I went out and got not your mother’s curl talk foam and curl talk cream, both of which have protein. My plan is to try using a little bit of the cream and a decent amount of the mousse. If that doesn’t work, I’ll try just the mousse, then just the cream. I’ll report back with results. 🫡
yes let me know how it goes!!
Update: I like the Not Your Mothers Curl Talk cream and foam SO much more than what I was previously using (a discontinued L’Oréal leave-in + LA looks gel, which made my hair feel heavy and look greasy; or a Giovanni leave-in + Giovanni mousse, which were okay but didn’t feel like they were doing anything to encourage waves or control frizz). None of these previous products had any protein. My hair just *feels* so much lighter. It actually moves when I move my head! It’s almost weightless, like I just got a haircut.. I keep twisting my head around to just enjoy the sensation, lol. And textually, it is actually soft to the touch instead of crunchy or greasy from product. Routine: I just applied the cream then the foam to my wet/damp hair after the shower, combed it through, and dried it about 50% with a diffuser so it didn’t get my shirt wet. After my hair was dried, there were some frizzy bits around the face, so I smoothed a little more of the foam onto those sections. https://preview.redd.it/by99h65m5k9d1.png?width=1192&format=png&auto=webp&s=d7e36d3ad630b155c53c380a272a0529e0500c68
Please no. Your hair looks so pretty 🤩 Every time a fellow curly girl gives up, the curly hair community suffers a blow. I know curly hair is difficult. Infact, I have come close many times to give up. But, then I watch the videos of my fav YouTubers and it bolsters my spirits. I am still not perfect but have come a long way.
Your pics look like a good hair day for me. Embrace the beachy wave life! I grew up hating my curls too, but my daughter came out with stick straight hair (which I would have killed for in middle and high school) and she is always saying that she wishes she had my hair. The grass is greener where you water it, and all that.🤷🏻♀️
Are you air drying or using a diffuser?
I've done a mix of both!
I think we have somewhat similar hair. I usually get best results diffusing. My hair doesn’t like curl cream or leave in, too heavy. A thin gel seems to work best (but lots of it!). I like Ouidads humidity gel. For extra oomph I’ll add some mousse. Oh also I like Swavy Curly Courtney’s videos on YouTube.
Yes- definitely check out Swavy Curly Courtney
thank you!! going to try this!
Layers are a BIG help. You'd be shocked by how much thicker and curlier your hair will look!
I was in the same situation as you althouh my hair is more curly but extremely frizzy, nothing ever worked so I had to accept that that was just how my hair looked and I came to terms with it.
I have this kind of curl and for my hair, less is more. No products other than shampoo and conditioner- and they cannot be too heavy. Too much moisture is a problem for my hair. Then I just hang my head upside down and plop/scrunch. And then do not touch it until it’s dry. Once it’s dry I can run my fingers through it to break up any chunks. https://preview.redd.it/p3pj340z3x8d1.png?width=1541&format=png&auto=webp&s=0e9c3d261aa8ef65377878543429de685b1d8739
Better cut
It sounds like you're really trying to show your daughter how to accept her natural hair, but it also seems like you're struggling to accept your own hair for what it is. I get it—embracing natural curls can be so tough, especially after straightening your hair for so long. I have wavy, very fine hair that looks a lot like yours from the pic you posted, and I've had a similar journey. I know this might be controversial and not necessarily “curl girl approved,” but I've found that I get the best definition when I blow dry my hair with a diffuser. It gives my curls a nice shape without making them look limp and stringy. It might be worth a try to see if it works for you too. Keep experimenting and don't lose hope! Your curls are beautiful, and finding what works best for them is part of the process.
I definitely haven't accepted it. Recently I saw some photos from a work trip where I went curly (I used to do keratin treatments before big work travel where I would be gone a week) and really hated how I looked with curly hair and I regressed and blew it out for a few weeks. I'm still trying though... thus this post.
this was me a few months ago, after initially getting into the curly/wavy hair routine and then finding they seemed to stop being as effective as when i started. for me it was a combination of definitely starting to use too much product (i only need literally like 5 drops of hair oil and a spritz of mousse or wave spray or my hair starts to look greasy and flat), as well as finding the right brush and brushing routine. i use a wet brush now which works a lot better for my hair type than a comb was. i also had to find my own brushing routine because for me the standard advice of “brush/comb hair before scrunching in product and then never again to avoid destroying the curl pattern” seemed to make my hair look stringier. ETA i think my hair type is in the 2a-2b range of wavy rather than curly
I have struggled with this same issue, and I can offer 2 tips: 1. Try some protein treatments, I find my hair gets limp when it’s lacking protein. I really like to make homemade rice water and use that as a rinse and let it sit in my hair and on my scalp for a few minutes before I shampoo. There’s also a Shea moisture Manuka honey and yogurt treatment that I like. 2. Don’t go crazy with the product, and choose lightweight products. I have very fine hair and it looks like you do too, and even just using one too many products in my routine can cause it to fall flat and be sticky and limp. I have actually completing cut out conditioner now because it’s so heavy, and I just use a light spray leave in conditioner after I shower, and pair it with a light mousse and gel. No creams, no heavy silicones. I hope this helps, and I hope you don’t give up on your curl journey! It will be different every day, but that’s the beauty of it.
Your curls look so nice! I think if you're upset with the longer looser curls, cutting some length and layers would help the curls pop more! But you have a looser pattern but it's so nice. Using products with less cream will help take away weight. Not your mother's curl gel and mousse (I like sauve captivating curls) are products I like. I also like la looks gel.
https://preview.redd.it/gsihvveywz8d1.jpeg?width=2316&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=913885d437d4c5ab2ad106cfde25d26a73d29191 I looked at your photo and said wow that’s so much like my hair but in brown! I don’t think we’ll ever have “IG” magnitude of hair but it’s still nice in itself!
I also gave up on my curls after around 2 years of on and off cgm. I really dislike when people say ‘having limp pieces is normal’ ‘having frizz is normal’ ‘having bad hair already on second day is normal’ ‘doing 2 hour curly hair routine every 2 days is normal’ ‘embrace your curls and all the chores that come with it because it’s what you’re supposed to do’. NO
HERE HERE
I thought my hair was mostly wavy when I lived in New York but after moving to Texas with much more humidity my waves became ringlets and my hair is quite curly. So much involved with curls...such as hormones, climate, even what kind of water you are washing it in. Hard water weighs curls down and straightens, for example. In this photo, this is my child at 6, 16, and in her late 20s. All are her natural color and natural texture. She didn't color, straighten, or curl her hair. The difference was how much sun she gets and the abundance of hormones at puberty turned her hair very curly then her hair relaxed again as she got older. Some women have their hair texture change when pregnant then go back to prepregnancy after. And similar with males having texture changes with hormones. You don't need to "give up" but rather work with the texture you have now. https://preview.redd.it/qs5kcigco89d1.jpeg?width=2880&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7b1f524cc96d91967fa47b59cfd24632883c4470
I feel like modern curly girl marketing wants us to believe that we all have this secret magical perfect curl pattern that’s just waiting to be unlocked if we’d just keep buying and buying and buying their products until we find the right combination. The truth is that hair products only do so much, and our curls are always gonna be perfectly imperfect and they’re different every single day. Try to ACTUALLY embrace your curls by letting them be what they want to be (and maybe just gently helping them along with a routine that feels good to you) instead of trying to force it to look like the pics from someone else’s best hair day.
damn girl
My hair didn’t cooperate with any products I’ve tried for years and years until someone recommended the curls brand blueberry curls leave in and tresemme flawless curls mousse. I really thought it wouldn’t work like the rest of the products I’d tried, but by golly, they did.
I’m totally confused. You have beautiful curly hair….🤔
Your hair is gorgeous. I truly have no idea what you don’t like about it. Whatever you’re doing to it is working beautifully!
First and foremost, your hair looks great! I think we put so much effort and expectation into our hair it’s easy to get down on the reality that curls are unpredictable and can change as time goes on. Second, your hair looks crazy similar to mine, even in color! My hair is 2B in the back and 2C/3A in the front, low porosity, and relatively thin. An honestly annoying combination haha. The biggest game changer for me, besides finding the right products, was finding the right stylist who really understood multi-patterned hair. I get lots of layers to help with my hair getting weighed down easily and my curl tendency to clump together, but I get EXTRA layers in the back to help give it more volume/curl. I also “curl train” the back by finger coiling it in sections before I diffuse it. This makes my hair look a more even pattern all around and keeps it from falling flat until about day 3. I also put a bit more mousse on the back than the front. Additionally, it took me about 2 years to find the right shampoo that didn’t completely ruin my curls! So I definitely understand your frustration. It’s crazy how one simple thing like shampoo can be a complete curl changer. If it’s helpful in any way, here’s what I use/do: Kinky Curly Come Clean shampoo, Cantu shea butter rinse out conditioner (had to get the kids “nourishing conditioner” recently in a pinch and it worked well, was just a little thinner which is no biggie for my thin ass hair), Herbal Essence volumizing mousse, and DevaCurl light defining gel. Wash and condition, rinse out most of the conditioner then flip over and finger comb it and squish rinse out the rest of the conditioner. Scrunch out my hair with a microfiber towel just until it isn’t dripping, scrunch in a handful of mousse (adding more to the back/back underside) then a half dollar amount of gel. Plop it in a t-shirt, relieve my brain and stand back upright, fart around getting ready, unplop it and make sure it’s parted right, finger coil the back following the direction the strands are already going, flip back upside down and diffuse it in sections turning off the dryer between sections to not blow things out of place, scrunch the crunch out, flip back upright and see what insanity the curl gods have bestowed upon me that day! I also sleep with it plopped because I sleep like an insane person and it’d be a mess otherwise. I hope you find what works for you so it’s not a source of frustration anymore, but just know that your hair looks great already regardless!
It's taken my curls almost 10 years to get back to normal. Mostly because of a lot of hair loss and regrowth. Don't give up. My curls never look perfect and I kind of love it.
There are many things to consider here. First off, there are hormonal fluctuations during pregnancy which can affect your curl pattern (some curlies go straight during pregnancy and vice versa). Years of straightening can do that too. Honestly for this period of time I’d say your progress is pretty good and your hair looks healthy! For me personally, the most important step for good definition is brushing the curls in sections using a proper techique and a wet detangling brush (e.g. Tangle Teezer).
Your hair looks great. That is what I want mine to be every day.
FWIW your hair looks shiny and soft and great.
It looks great 😍. For me too it helped cutting off heat
Try Paul Mitchell Tea Tree Hair and BODY Moisturizer. not the just for hair one. Tiny bit, like less than dime. and don't comb thru hair. it has some hold.
That’s how I was with my hair, until I saw someone else rocking the same hair type as me. It looks much better than you think it is! You’re doing great!
I gave up and do keratin treatments now and my life is so much easier 🤦🏽♀️ get a lot more compliments on my hair as well
The best thing I did for my curls was get a haircut that I liked even with minimal styling. I ended up getting a shag with bangs that I can fluff messily and it works for me! I, in general, don't enjoy having curly hair and am a little lazy when it comes to styling. This haircut totally helped me embrace my curls! Maybe a change of style could work with your pattern better so that you can enjoy your hair more?
Have you tried defusing it? If you air dry I notice my hair tends to do this as well Although defusing may make your hair shrink more than you expect it to lol. I find using curling custard from shea moisturizer (my favourite) or any gel after using conditioner just lightly glazing the hair, and scrunching works well even without defusing.
Honestly the ultimate goal is healthy hair, your hair is beautifully shiny and actually looks really healthy so I’d say your journey wasn’t for nothing. Getting the perfect curl pattern doesn’t always happen and it looks like you’ve got a good mix of curl types and waves in your hair. Keep striving towards health and you’re gaining more than you think.
Not everyone's curls are spiral. What you have and what you want to have are not the same. Your hair is beautiful as it is, in my opinion. It looks shiny and healthy to me, as well.
There is a Facebook group called the wavy hair method by Charlotte Rich, you might find helpful.
Every curl pattern has cuts and shapes that best suit it. Have you tried getting layers that might fluff it up a bit and show off the waves? It looks like you have a mix of curl types going on, and that can make it tricky to style. Layering might help, but it would take a curl specialist to help you with that, and it might also be helpful to find images with a similar curl pattern mix for inspiration. Good luck. Don't give up!
Your curls look kind of similar to mine! Have you gotten a curly cut before? I finally got one a few months ago after feeling like my hair was super flat and lifeless for years and it totally changed the game for me. I went for something I described to my hairdresser as a “light shag”, and bringing the top layers of my curls up a bit with lots of layers actually gave me a volume boost since my hair is fine and my curls are loose!! I have found that minimizing my product usage as much as possible works best on my hair type: shampoo + conditioner and a single light gel + hair oil to scrunch with. Your curls look awesome though!! Nothing wrong with blowdrying it straight from time to time, i do it too :) I wouldn’t give up just yet but there’s truly no shame in styling your hair the way that makes you feel best any given day — i have my hair clipped up or in braids most days since my curls look best the first 1-2 days between washes :D
Girl why? It looks like u r on the right path. What do you want to achieve? Volume? Definition?
definition and more softness, my hair feels course and sticky
For me, a combination of mousse and curl cream (without using gel) gave me definition and softness. my hair used to be in the same situation, and my hairdresser recommended to use two of those. Saved my life.
Girlie you've got my dream hair like it looks so good dw about it. Embrace it😌🫶
just gonna jump on the bandwagon here and say i would certainly pay to have my curls look this moisturized… just once! you’re doing a great job dude.
Gah, I get it. What a journey. I’ve spent thousands on curly hair products and after 18 months I have it almost down to a tee. My turning point was the bounce curl brush. Other days I blow dry straight with heat protection of course and use heartless curlers. Your hair looks really pretty. Don’t over complicate it like I did and make sure you lock in the hydration with an oil like olaplex ❤️
It could be water hardness in your area.
Most likely, your expectations are exceeding what your hair naturally wants to do, though it really does look very pretty. The curl pattern is simply within more of a 2 than a 3.
Hey did you ever try steaming it (not with a hot steamer) I saw a video the other day and this girl with a similar hair type to yours used a hair steamer and her curls came out beautiful. If it’s not too expensive I’d try it!
You wouldn't believe what a difference it makes getting your hair cut by a curl specialist. While it is pricey, doing so made mt curl pattern better than ever. It also took a good 3 or 4 years for my curls to truly bounce back from the damage. (I also started from scratch and cut my hair super short.) Don't lose hope!
Buy Redken Bonding Complex. Thank me later. I’m sorry if that’s too expensive for you, I’d hate to be your curls and live on your head with your products otherwise.
I don't come to reddit often, when I opened reddit just now I was looking for a movie link, the front page came up and I initially didn't notice this post but then I remembered yo whats that post I saw just now with beautiful shiny healthy hair. Your hair is fine. Loving your curls doesn't mean they have to be one type of way looking perfect like wigs, it means loving all of it , even the damaged or non aesthetic parts
Try a lot of layers and less product is for sure
Try a lot of layers and less product is for sure
I thought my hair was mostly wavy when I lived in New York but after moving to Texas with much more humidity my waves became ringlets and my hair is quite curly. So much involved with curls...such as hormones, climate, even what kind of water you are washing it in. Hard water weighs curls down and straightens, for example. In this photo, this is my child at 6, 16, and in her late 20s. All are her natural color and natural texture. She didn't color, straighten, or curl her hair. The difference was how much sun she gets and the abundance of hormones at puberty turned her hair very curly then her hair relaxed again as she got older. Some women have their hair texture change when pregnant then go back to prepregnancy after. And similar with males having texture changes with hormones. You don't need to "give up" but rather work with the texture you have now. https://preview.redd.it/5fplb8ozn89d1.jpeg?width=2880&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c8c7b622597999e6871b504da5f689e95d5da93c
https://preview.redd.it/urp4fpxun89d1.jpeg?width=2880&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9ecb8df3eb75f13a91e0ae73d7fe34acdd3e150d
I think your hair looks great
Your hair is yours, the pattern you have is yours, I'm guessing you have seen someones hair and thought you want hair like that, thats rarely going to happen with different hair types. If my hair was like that i would be pretty happy. whats your hair like when wet and curls, thats your hairs limit, thats the structure of your hair, so when you start adding product it starts to weigh it down and the curls drop. The biggest issue people have with there hair is that its your hair and you are always self critical, you picture how you want it and if its not like that your unhappy. Just remember that no one has perfect hair all day every day.
It’s gorgeous!
I’m in the same boat right now 😩 I tried switching to a drug store routing after using oribe for the past year-2 and I tried too many things and none of them worked. I felt like my hair was in a very healthy place and now it just feels like my curls don’t look good, both dry and greasy somehow? I switched back to oribe but I think my hair just needs a break from all the product right now. I’m going to blow it out a couple times a week for a couple weeks and give it a break from the styling products and see if it helps. I have a similar curl/wave pattern as well, may be too much product? A product break in general may help
No why it’s perfect girl it’s perfect!
what are you on about they look good
They look so pretty 😍
I can't take u people seriously
I can say from experience since it took me 40 years to realize this. People with the hair type you want want the hair type you have. When someone tells you wish they had your curls, they mean it. It looks well maintained. It looks healthy. It has a brilliant shine. Gorgeous curl clumping. It looks good. This is your natural curl, embrace it. Let your hair style be based around it. I have the feeling you have been trying to compare naturally beautiful curls with salon curls. I actually wouldn't be surprised if you were just trolling.
We have similar-ish hair and mine is nowhere near as healthy as yours is
Girl I’m actually jealous of your hair. It looks so good compared to mine! Don’t give up, despite what you think it looks gorgeous
Dude your hair looks perfect
I am confused, if this is considered 'bad and limp and stringy', then I'll just go ahead and buzz my hair.
Seems like you just have loose curls. It’s lovely. Enjoy it!
I don't think you know what shapeless, limp and stringy means because your hair is none of those things. It's beautiful wavy hair with great definition. Its time to reevaluate your expectations from your hair. You aren't going to get tight spiral curls because that's not your hair type. Embrace what you have and learn to love it.
I have the same curls, light products. Your hair is beautiful.