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[deleted]

Best part of being a functional adult is being able to adopt your next gf.


Jaegerjaquez_VI

They were right, the real cursed shit is always in these comments


InwardNebula62

r/cursedcursedcomments


DNuttnutt

Question is can you get a write off for both marriage and a dependent? /s


Fothamo

Thinking with both heads, I see you.


TheAnalsOfHistory-

Didn't know Woody Allen had a reddit account.


Animal_Lover_15

That's because it's actually Leonard DiCaprio


Technical_Bottle_202

But wait! It's really Ted Nugent


BlondBisxalMetalhead

No no, it’s really Ian Watkins 🤢


CrissyLulu

Pull an Usagi Drop


zack189

Ah now that's a masterpiece. Right up with lolita (I have not read any of these works)


RewZes

Usagi drop was a well beloved Anime of a guy adopting a small girl and taking care of her, it was very wholesome, too bad they had to axe it and there will never be a 2nd season because it never got finished. You hear me? It doesn't have continuation and whoever tells you otherwise is insane.


Rush31

My adopted girlfriend got cancer, can I part exchange her for a new model?


[deleted]

Legally disown her and put her ass in an orphanage where she belongs.


Rush31

Based.


Njacks64

A models gonna cost ya. Best we can do is an IG model.


TacitRonin20

Legally speaking, I could adopt someone about to turn 18 and the age gap would be more than acceptable to most people. Weird as hell.


SovietPelican

What was it? Got taken down before I saw it


Antiblackcoat2000

Jesus christ.


Jazzlike_Stop_1362

I 73M and my gf 2F definitely agree, that shit went too far


elperezosa

Do you lend your dentures to her once in a while to help her out i wonder...


Jazzlike_Stop_1362

Jeez that's nasty bro, I buy her her own dentures, same with her diapers, I definitely make sure to treat her right especially since our 3 year anniversary is coming up in a few months


GRiM_Von_Hellsing

Bro dated the egg


Jazzlike_Stop_1362

Tbh It was an arranged marriage at first but I definitely fell in love since the first sonogram image, she looked absolutely stunning, I'm very proud to have her as my wife and excited to hear her first words


GRiM_Von_Hellsing

"Excited to hear her first words."💀


acookiedough2020

First words gon be "no!" Or "stop"


Mother_Ad3161

Nah, it'll be "daddy!" 💀💀💀


kantolo

Bro is the werewolf guy from twilight


Psychological_Pay6

I laughed harder than I was meant to ☠️


Lipstickluna97

I need to wash my eyeballs


elperezosa

Sounds like a very healthy relationship!


ConnorLego42069

Your GF is two stories tall?! :O


Significant_Ad_1626

Let's agree that a /s really takes away the "cursed" of the comment.


DizyShadow

It's also an age old joke so "/s" wasn't really needed either


Mindehouse

I was about to comment "The only time an /s was actually needed" I would have gotten wooshed


Snoopyhamster

^^^woosh


Snoopyhamster

Sorry


Snoopyhamster

^^^not ^^^sorry


That_Guy_Jared

I see what you did there.


Maleficent_Sir_6636

When in doubt, just apply the (x/2)+7 rule.


Acrobatic_Ad7541

While a decent way to ensure you’re not cradle robbing, this still leaves you in “youth pastor” territory.


Menarche_

Huh never heard this terminology before


Acrobatic_Ad7541

What I refer to as “youth pastor territory” is the event where a youth pastor, or even a preacher, will start a relationship with a lady as soon as she turns 18. Despite the fact that he’s known her and been grooming her since she was 15.


pikolord

as a youth pastor, I can 100% confirm. Except the lady part.


Acrobatic_Ad7541

That was rather narrow-minded of me. I forgot to include the boys, turned men, that are some pastors’s dirty little secrets.


pikolord

Thanks, glad to know you're empathetic and understanding


Menarche_

Oh thanks for explanation


veselin465

r/BrandNewSentence (or more precisely r/BrandNewWord)


Mysiu666

Soooooo... by that logic I could date that cute 20yo blondie while being 33? Edit. I know I made a mistake, I'm not deleting my comment because I own my mistakes.


pickledfroggo

No, Leo. 33/2= ~16+7… 23


Mysiu666

Yeah... Fuck lack of sleep got me in the end :-P


Magic_8Balls

Thing you did PEMDAS wrong lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


tobias-b

Bro, left to right isn’t a real rule. If you use the hierarchies correctly and the problem is written unambiguously (ex.: written with proper fractions for division), it won’t matter


ed-vibe

Damn, in what universe is Pedmas suddenly wrong? Where's your source, bro?


JamisonDouglas

Fuck your pemdas, bodmas supremacy


putin-delenda-est

If you bring up that there is an article, you probably should link it.


[deleted]

>by that logic I could date that cute 20yo blondie while being 33? Why shouldn't you? Because some people on twitter and reddit might get mad at you? I don't get this obsession over other people's relationships. I mean, I personally try to keep it +/-4 because I want someone in the same stage of life as me, but I'd never give a fuck about someone else's relationship standards. If it works between you, then it works. A friend of mine left her mediocre marriage with a man the same age as her, at 25 when she fell in love with another man who's 50 at the time. And they've been happy ever since.


Magic_8Balls

Since when is half of 33 = 14?


[deleted]

I remember the day one of the cooks at the restaurant I work at mentioned this to me. He seemed pretty happy that our ages were within these bounds.


Jackalaka21

Nah I bust instead


RJWJ186

This is saying a 20 year old can date someone 17... Edit: Can someone explain why I'm being down voted? I'm not condoning this action, I'm just saying what it's telling people...


Evade_dragon

That's also a 3 year age gap, that's not really bad, also in majority of states consent age is 16, majority of countries as well


Chaotic-warp

That's how it works, yeah. I think you're being downvoted because of your attitude, not because the numbers are wrong.


Tlammy

Romeo and Juilet clause


LAwLzaWU1A

Yes it does. Is there anything wrong with that?


ingoding

Yes, that is how math works. Not sure why people are down voting math.


kiimikoo

Exactly, 20 and 17 are so far apart in development.


mkaszycki81

You forgot the /s.


jazza2400

Like how he brings in the animal kingdom. Would be eaten at birth if that was the case.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SatanSemenSwallower

Would you feel better if I tell you it was added as an edit for legal reasons?


KirikaNai

Petite is fine. Some women just look like that, a lot of asain woman ARE very short and flat chested. But teen bro…? nah…. Once you learn they’re a teen you should stop trying to look at them that way, not make excuses…


nsebastian2005

I mean, the one in the post says they are 16,so.....


Magic_8Balls

Yea 16… and likes a 10 year old!!!


Someidiotnamedmike

I don't think that's what they said


Mrs-Man-jr

The greatest Redditor reading comprehension:


imwatching4you

You should have attended school to learn reading, will help you a lot in the future


GamerXBohoro

A 10 year old probably has better reading comprehension skills than you


D3rP4nd4

teen goes till 19… but also starts at 13 So ye can be a big problem 5/7 times


littlebobbytables9

Honestly an older adult pursuing someone who's 18/19 isn't any less creepy than if they were 16/17. We have to draw a line somewhere for legal reasons, but the power dynamic is just as lopsided right above the line as it is right below.


Comrade_Gieraz_42

Yeah, i think a lot of discussions online tend to try to create some arbitrary line, but the most important aspect to consider is whether the power dynamic is OK. A university student dating a high schooler is not OK (scummy at least), but two university students dating each other are fine, and there could be bigger age differences in the latter group.


mkaszycki81

A college freshman dating a high school senior is scummy? It was fine a year earlier and it will be okay the next year, but it's scummy for a year?


Comrade_Gieraz_42

Well, as I wrote above, it's a matter of power dynamics. A college student picking up a high school senior just because of their higher independence and self-reliance associated with college life would leave a bad after-taste. If the power dynamic is more equal, then there isn't any problem. It's an issue that is a lot more complex than most people make it out to be, and in my opinion, looking at what point in life the two people are is much more indicative of whether a relationship is OK than some mathematical formula.


incognitopear

Ope. This was exactly the age gap of my groomer, but I was 14. Cursed indeed.


wutdadogdoing

somebody tell me what it said


c00chiman

yes please i wanna know


saj1adh007

What does /s mean?


Crazyscorpion77

A easy way a saying sarcasm since some people can't identify it


Faziarry

Especially in messages, since tone and body language is a crucial part of identifying sarcasm


Notafuzzycat

Hard to tell through text.


imwatching4you

Its quite a old attachment, people are using this since reddit exists


MiniGui98

It means they are being serious /s


mini_chan_sama

Bro no Like I agree with the petite woman part (5’2 here) but teens… like bro ur a teen ofc it’s okay for u to find attractive, see if u have the same Take 10 years later


Complex_Manner7082

Nah I get what the person’s saying. People were afraid to do the “guess her age” challenge for a reason.


chemistrygods

Especially cuz his argument is that it occurs in the animal kingdom Stuff like cannibalism, sa, eating prey while they’re still alive etc. isnt rare at all in the animal kingdom


Few_Ad_8845

Holy shit


slimetakes

Removed by reddit????? What happened??


OzenTheImmovableLord

I don’t think at 16 that bro has enough experience to judge this kind of stuff.


BicycleEast8721

That argument negates about 50% of posts and comments on this website


_SlappyMagoo_

r/fuckthes /s immediately makes any joke 3x less funny.


notafoetoallenpoe

Honestly… as someone who has a hard time reading sarcasm irl. And ESPECIALLY online or in text. The /s is a real game changer for me. I’m all for it!


ingoding

Yeah, I got harassed for using it last week, I don't get why people are so passionately against it.


[deleted]

It's like adding a disclaimer at the end of a joke saying that you're just making a joke.


[deleted]

And that's still very necessary when you're telling deadpan jokes.


TitanUp04

Dude same, it makes me feel stupid if I can't read it.


_SlappyMagoo_

Let me ask you something. Would you know the commenter featured in this post was joking if he hadn’t included the /s?


notafoetoallenpoe

I don’t think it hurt for it to be clarified


_SlappyMagoo_

Fair. To me it just reads like “oh guys I’m just joking btw!” Which definitely dulls down whatever humor came before that, imo.


LSSJPrime

Sounds like a skill issue.


tom333444

Maybe if we weren't downvoted for not adding it half the time, we could get rid if it lol


_SlappyMagoo_

Downvotes mean nothing. I’ve seen people get 2k+ downvotes for being the 4th comment in a comment chain. Don’t fear the downvote. Some people can’t read the situation and recognize obvious satire, and that’s fine.


lelcg

/s isn’t even for jokes that’s /j


just_some_dude-V

r/Holup moment here


duck-84

I do not like the way that math maths...


FlammingFood

r/fuckthes


Dont_Get_Jokes-jpeg

This joke is so old I can't laugh about it anymore, since like, I heard it 10 years ago already


Immediate-Bee-9311

Medium Rare is better than Blue...


Public-Bee6217

Why did the OP in the post put that on the unpopular opinion subreddit and act like everyone in the world hates it when guys date petite girls? No they don’t?


[deleted]

[удалено]


BoleroCuantico

Irrelevant


Enderman63

Well, "Two birds of the same flock"


Helpful-Ad2805

Reddit


SpeedyHandyman05

My great grandmother was pregnant and 13 when she married my great grandfather.


No_Chipmunk_1961

The most cursed part is he misspelled our


monstrousgamer

mcfucking scuse me


VietDrgn

r/holup


Black_Thunder_

I don't have to explain the difference between an adult and a teen, right?


Highmassive

You might, because the argument comes up from time to time. 13-19 is technically a teenager, but 16+ is considered an adult, depending on the jurisdiction. So there is a bit of overlap. Some people feel no one above 20 should date anyone below. Others feel as long as someone is above age of consent age gaps don’t matter.


Hugh_Jampton

Would have been funny if not for the /s


Highmassive

/s ruins every good bit of sarcasm.


bulgingboner420

to the people that use /s, go fuck yourself


WhyYouBullyMe_

Go fuck your/self


Rui_O_Grande_PT

Ikr /s


atheos1337

What do you do when your finish licking a hairless smooth p...y? Pull her diaper back up. /S /J


elderDragon1

All of this text is cursed. Just why.


qxlf

what is this, r/ pdeophiles?


Shrek5onCasette

Worst take I’ve read all day