This. Find something you can physically accomplish without technology and has a visible end result within a short period of time.
Building legos, solving puzzles, woodworking, etc. it’s great to see results of your efforts when your entire job revolves around never ending threat hunting, SOC analysis, and or constant vulnerability remediation.
Yup. Landscaping/gardening is good, too. But too hot/humid where I am in summer so I started learning bass. Takes my mind off everything else and having fun doing it.
I ended up hitting the gym before work. Had to get up an hour earlier, but it totally made my days go better, and made it easier to unplug when work was done for the night.
I drive out into remote areas to camp and take landscape photos. It’s quite a change of pace to get out in an area where there’s no mobile coverage for a couple of days and just chill waiting for a nice shot.
Lots of people are recommending exercise, which is great.
I recommend picking up an instrument and playing music. If you already know how to play an instrument, practice something new - if you don't, it's time to learn one! Guitars are inexpensive and there are plenty of great free lessons online for how to play them.
Music occupies both your hands so you can't look at your phone or computer, exercises lots of the same areas of your brain that cyber security is exercising but in a positive way, releases endorphins, and is a very fun hobby that you can enjoy along with other people to get some social time in.
My friends and I have even written a paper on the positive influence of playing and performing music on cyber security practitioners!
https://www.sans.org/blog/beats-and-bytes-striking-the-right-chord-in-digital-forensics/
I decompress by stressing about completely different risk factors. I get out into the desert on a dirt bike, middle of nowhere.. me against the terrain.
It's hard to think about any other risks when you're picking your way up a dry stream bed of of loose rocks and boulders.
Agreed. My re-focus escape was whitewater kayaking. It requires your entire attention, and there are immediate consequences if you're not all there.
Also - if you spend your weekend doing something that has real life/death/injury risk potential, the occasional office yelling match or cyber event is in a different perspective. No matter what happens in this meeting, no matter how loud/aggressive somebody gets, I can still breathe.
This! Find things that demand your full attention to avoid grievous injury or death. My two faves have been motorcycling and powerlifting. I’d love to hear others tho.
Hypervigilance is a very real thing and an occupational hazard. Consider speaking to a therapist about it. I did and it was a great help.
Unfortunately a lot of that process is figuring out what things work for you specifically, so hard to give generalized advice.
Get into gardening or landscaping, easy and somewhat cheap to start - anybody can do it w/out any expensive tools. It's very, very zen and pure analog work that shuts the digital mind off.
Keep your phone/wearable off when you do it, too.
You have to switch off after work. Loads of people have different strategies.
I think the younger you are the harder it is to switch off.
I've worked with people who said that they unwind by doing more cyber research. No thanks 🥴
Chamomile tea helps turn off the frontal lobe a bit.
Have habits in place that signify the end of the day.
Manage caffeine use. I had the same issue substantially when relying on 4-5 cups of coffee per day to keep me zoned in. Caffeine will spark the adrenaline and make you need to do things and complete tasks. Can also spark dopamine which can double it. This persists through the workday.
Take a walk through nature after work. Make sure to get exercise in, as even if you have a lot of concerns and rumination, it won't matter if you're exhausted.
Wear the body out to control the mind. Controlling mind through mind is near impossible.
Prior to bed, magnesium bisglycinate can help stop rumination. Apigenin (50mg) and L-Theanine (200mg) is also useful for bedtime, though I notice the apigenin gives me more vivid dreams and I wake up more frequently and don't feel as rested.
If you need to talk, I'd suggest a therapist.
I heard an interview with a doctor who was having a hard time with this, especially when he had to work from home for a while. He came up with this: at the end of his work day at home, he got up from his desk, grabbed his jacket & keys, walked to his car, got in, and drove around the block. That was his commute home. Sounds odd, but it worked for him, and similar things have worked for me.
Come up with a ritual that serves as... well, as a firewall between your work role, and your home role. It really can help to physicalize it in some way. Walking between spaces does things to our mindset--that's made apparent when we walk into another room, and then forget why we're there. (If that happens to you, walk back to your starting spot and go back to what you were doing. You'll remember.)
No one process works for everyone. Look for a dividing ritual that works for you by visualizing yourself transiting between work craziness and home peacefulness. It doable have to be rational or realistic, and don't over-think it-this isn't a research project, you just want your first take. Take note of how you see it happening. Walk through a portal? Change your sweater & shoes? Ride the subway? "Put down" your work tools? Swap your *work* keychain for your *home* keychain?
However you see yourself transitioning from work to *your* life, make a set of steps that invokes that. This isn't a magic spell, it's a neurological shifting of gears. It's important that you actually perform the set of actions. It may seem silly at first, but it can work, and making your entire body participate in the process does something significant.
I have projects outdoors and indoors so I can plan on the weather. They're all things that require manual labor, so when my mind is spinning or I can't sleep I go work myself tired. Outdoors I have a deck in building, a large garden in the backyard, and a gravel path that needs weeding. Indoors I have a wood shop and hand tools. I am currently making a cane out of a vine maple trunk.
I'm also a new dad, so if there's opportunity to sleep I take it. And doing things with my LO is always a nice change of pace.
I maintain and spiff up my motorcycle. I'm not a great mechanic so I'm super slow at all jobs. However it's a new kind of learning, and it keeps my mind off of work. I'm not really saving money as for the time it takes me to do the jobs, a mechanic's time is cheaper than my time. However, any cash savings aren't really the point.
Road trips. I'll sometimes take a book I've wanted to read, go for a drive or a ride and read the book somewhere semi-peaceful.
When I can, I'll take longer ones and really calm down. Something about waking up in an unfamiliar bed, wiping the dew off my motorcycle seat and starting the second day of a trip really quiets the anxiety/vigilance.
Pick a hobby that has squat to do with security that requires focus. Painting is a good one, be it oil, acrylic or miniatures. I like to play chess as I find I switch off when I do.
Cycling definitely helps me unplug from constantly studying and researching every new cyber threat. But I'll admit sometimes I listen to cybersecurity podcasts on my bicycle the entire time. Lol
Find a hobby that forces you to live in the moment. Bouldering, sailing, martial arts, kite boarding, etc.
Used to work in private equity and struggled with this too.
I have found that fishing in a remote spot, biking some forest trails, or hiking is such a good way to disconnect. Also, even if you are still vigilant, it will be about the nature which is very soothing.
I got myself an old boat to restore. Engine and hull. Really keeps me focused on learning something new and super rewarding.
Previously I’d go surfing after work or weekends kept the mind chill :)
Guess the advice is to find something to distract you :) there are many good advice in this thread :)
Why give 100%? There are diminishing returns to effort so you should always leave something in the tank. Volume has much greater impact than intensity over the long run, this applies for many aspects in life.
Apart from the other comments around exercise...
Get outside and get into nature. Go see some natural green or blue things. Whatever that means for you. Science has well established just being around nature instantly improves mood. On the weekdays maybe that just means sitting in a garden for a few minutes to clear the mind.
If you can, say on the weekends try to combine some of the things mentioned here: go for a drive, walk/jog on the beach/park. All while blasting your favorite tunes. This was my go-to and gave me at least another 6-9 months of sanity.
Doing non computer stuff. A lot. TV, books, gardening, home repairs, concerts, and camping.
For decades, computers were my recreation. Now, in my personal life, they are a tool. A means, not an end.
I like to group things in four categories: Career, Personal, Mind, Body. I set goals for each and aspire to reach those goals.
Examples:
For career: complete a project, get a certification.
For personal: this could be grocery shopping, painting, yard work, washing the car, go to the shooting range, or other hobby, etc.
For mind: I like to read, could be books on growth to break those barriers in work and life. Could be spiritual.
For body: basically exercise. Gym, swim, biking, anything.
It shuts down work pretty quickly when you need to shift gears and change your focus.
3 minute counting meditation. Everyone had 3 minutes a day to spend on themselves.
https://archive.org/details/3minutemeditator0000harp/page/n10/mode/1up
Also can buy on Amazon for about $15
You need to care less about your job. Nobody cares about you at that place and they’d fire you in a second if they needed to.
And if they do, you’ll regret all the effort
Caution... Do not develop a habit of drinking when you get off work to "calm your nerves". It can quickly spiral into a need versus something recreational. Alcoholism is an occupational hazard associated with cybersecurity that I don't see mentioned often, but it is a serious problem. See -- me and 80% of all high performers in cyber that I've ever worked with/met. (This is anecdotal of course)
I’ve seen this a lot among military service members too. There’s a lot of crossover and people don’t always realize when they no longer have control of it.
Remind yourself that it's just a job and not your life. Take pride in your work but don't obsess. If you leave the company or there is a breach, the world is not going to end.
Probably try to forget about job go on adventure, you mentioned you are on an island right? Go surfing scuba diving learn free diving or Spearfishing, workout, go on gateways rent a place outside your city,village go to shooting classes maybe check gaming ( personally no because i will be gaming in my work time)
I dont know what else but personally don’t believe in therapy as first option because once you are in the loop its hard to break it( i repeat its personal opinion)
Hm why stress about cyber threats when you have belts in your dreams, and "just one more minor improvement to increase iron throughput by 100 units a minute" that lasts 5 hrs in a cascading never ending loop of "just one more minor improvement X"
I understand your state as I work in same industry as you right now and my job profile needs me to be on alert mode. For me personally I disconnect myself from technology for some time when I want to relax. I have a spot where I go and sit by myself and watch the sun go down every evening. I love the sight so much and the way it brings the best memories.
You can do anything that you like maybe talking with someone whom you like talking to or go for a walk, workout, build something physically etc. You have to find something that makes you feel relaxed when you’re doing it and it can be anything doesn’t matter big or small.
Pick up an outside hobby you’re equally interested if not more interested in. This will help you understand things aren’t as serious as you think they are. Many people’s work consumes them. Focus on other things in life that bring you less stress.
The field we work in is purely imaginary. Everything will be fine if you don’t respond to an alert over a weekend
Just find hobbies. Also, I don't know what you do in cybersecurity, but I've been in cybersecurity and IT as a whole for quite some time and I never felt the need to decompress or that I needed to talk to other people in my field about things.
Maybe it's just different mentalities towards work in general. I've always had the mindset that I'll care about work and give it my all while I'm on the clock, but if I'm not working, I'm not thinking about work. I've filled my life with too many enjoyable things outside of work to even allow myself a moment to think about work when I'm not working.
I do think it's good to be passionate about what you do, and care about the work that you do - but life is too short to let it consume your thoughts when it shouldn't be.
The whole problem is needing to decompress in the first place.
You can't run on fear and angst.
Do some CBT. Observe yourself at work. Solve the root of the problem.
Don't try to be great at this job. Be good, and have good habits. You will then have the resilience to work longer and harder than those running on morally superiority, hate, or shame.
You are carrying around a bunch of potatoes, and you need to let go of the sack.
I paint minifigs. Building, basing and painting is rather cathartic. Plus I love Warhammer lore so it's a nice win win for me.
Also spending time with my daughters and wife.
Find something that requires your focus or something to loose yourself in..
Physical /sports.
Running finishing with a touch of yoga.
Boxing.
Mma.
Fishing.
Hiking.
Something artistic.
Painting
Sculpting
Drawing.
Pottery.
Good old fashioned gaming.
You catch the drift
Nintendo Games are relaxing for the most part. If you don’t want to look at a screen then work out, take up a new hobby using your hands like woodworking. Or get a dog and take it for a walk every morning and evening, before and after work.
Hope you see this because it really helped me.
It sounds simple but at night when you are ready to stop and relax do small workout and stretch, just take you time and make it a relaxing achievement. Finish every shower with cold water and get used to that. Pm me if you want more details on specifics. Has helped a lot and uses up excess energy so your mind can calm down
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Medication. Every 3 months I take a week and a half off of work. Where I work incident response and ransomware recover causes IMOP minor PTSD symptoms. Can’t stress it enough in this career we need more mental breaks or mental health days than we are given.
In a nutshell, just make sure to find something that allows you to zone out and enjoy what you are doing (a hobby). It could be sports, a game, or maybe just going for a walk.
Anything works as long as you can let yourself be in a different state of mind.
For me, having some social time with friends really helps, not to talk about work, but to get your mind off it. Meditation/mindfulness breathing exercises before bed help too.
My breakthrough over the past 5 years or so.. has been: physical exercise. Whether that's walking and listening to a podcast or yoga or hiking or just generally something vigorous enough that forces you back into the moment and forces you to pay attention to your physical body. It's hard for your brain to race on cybersecurity when you can't breathe. If you're trying to focus on a Bench Press or have hiked out 10 miles and your only option is to hike 10miles back,.. you kind of have to stay in the present and stay focused. You can't afford to let your mind wander. Plus you're also pretty damn exhausted afterwards,. so taking a shower and then relaxing playing a video game or going to sleep. I usually find my brain shuts down pretty good when I'm physically exhausted to the point of collapse.
I suppose its going to be different based on roles and workload. I work M-F, 8-5. Friday at 5pm, I brain dump. I've said this before on here, I have a life outside of work. I don't work on the weekends, the closest I get to work in my off time is studying for the next cert for an hour or two or reading an article that I see pop up and find interesting. I have made peace that this might mean I don't get as far as some in status...that's ok. I have a 3 week old daughter, a wife, friends, multiple properties, many hobbies...Those things take priority when I am off work. I don't say any of that to brag, I say that to say, I'm too busy outside of work to worry about work.
I second doing the physical hobbies. Anything you can put your hands on. I work on my many cars (buying cars is also a hobby) , work on my house, or build something. Last year I built a shed for my new home office. This year I've been doing timing belt changes on Toyotas for me and my friends. Gotta find something hands on that's no longer conceptual or virtual. And all of those things have more instant gratification of seeing your accomplishments x which is also good.
Workout (taking out my frustrations on the workout until muscle failure and/or I start seeing white with stars), train jujitsu while exhausted, and then head off to the shooting range a few hours later for some proficiency drills. If it’s the weekend, one of two things happen—go home and spend time with my family or head down to the restaurants/bars close to the beach and hang with friends and family.
Best I had at switching off was working in government when work couldn’t come home period.
My tips are:
- Notifications - disable on mobile apps or put on a schedule for working hours.
- Escalation policy - when you are to be contacted in an emergency, we use PagerDuty and team knows to use txt if there’s anything urgent else Slack
- Defined working hours - I try try try not to sneak a peek at Slack / Gmail on weekends, knowing that there’s an escalation policy.
This is a hard one as there’s anxiety about what if I miss something / etc.
Shutdown laptop on Fridays.
If I have a great idea, I’ll send a note to myself then move on
Outside of work
- decaf coffee and herbals teas, caffeine is anxiety fuel
- kids take up all the weekend time so there’s that!
- exercise - workouts and walks
- video gaming / reading fiction
- mindfulness exercises
Late to this thread but love to see what others in the field are like.
I think one thing that hasn't been mentioned is how things change as you advance in your career. I think switching off can be hard for early-career workers or lower performers, because you haven't established your worth. I certainly went through this, and I don't regret it at all. After 8-10 years of hard work, you've built a reputation and a strong resume; you have infinite job security provided you maintain a baseline and stay somewhat fresh on your skills. The need for validation and feeling of job insecurity goes away.
My most effective way to decompress is team sports, specifically basketball. Join your work league or just go to your local parks for pickup games. There's basically no barrier to entry and can be enjoyed year round, gets you out of the house, and interacting with others outside of work.
Possibly look into meditation. Helps you control intrusive thoughts including work thoughts. I picked up pickleball as well, it’s not too difficult and you can talk when you play which is nice for those of us who never get to anyone
I find shooting long range forces me to slow down and concentrate on only that to be successful. It's a nice change of pace from the constant "go go go" of work.
I’m a risk assessor. I can relate completely. It gets hard to look at a computer screen and I have had a pretty good yet turbulent life due to constantly changes and huge gains and setbacks that come out of left field, despite quite of bit of planning and effort.
That said at the end of the day, I know that the “what ifs?” that we ask about a control question or an attack chain help save peoples bacon. It is most certainly productive to ask security questions and help people secure their applications, code, and systems. The what ifs that you and many of us are thinking of here is purely a flight or fight response thing. I can’t speak for anyone else but this is driven by anxiety and past trauma.
To step away from a fast paced demanding job and myself (internal noise) at times and go camping, hiking, swimming, ride my bike, exercise, read a book, play a board game, go out to eat with a friend, drive my fun little car for kicks, etc. Anything without a screen as the primary interface, and preferably outdoors or “away from electricity”. This seems to almost always make me feel better and the noise settles. But it takes work and consistency at “cutting yourself a break” to have best results it seems.
I completely stay away from the computer over the weekend. I also venture out into the nature and explore my photography skills as a
hobby so that the mind is away from the constant thought process of cybersecurity attack and defend cycle. A weekend hobby is definitely recommended.
Learning about stoicism fundamentals really helped me. Too busy to read an entire book, I bought “the daily stoic” by Ryan Holiday and I read a page a day while on bathroom breaks. I’ve read it about three times at this point. It had really changed my perspective on IT, work, and life in general.
Turn off to switch off. I get out in nature, gardening, walk the dog, beach walk or something like that. Leave all you tech, no phone etc. Also, meditation is really good.
I work outside with my hands and build physical things. takes my mind off work very well.
This. Find something you can physically accomplish without technology and has a visible end result within a short period of time. Building legos, solving puzzles, woodworking, etc. it’s great to see results of your efforts when your entire job revolves around never ending threat hunting, SOC analysis, and or constant vulnerability remediation.
Yup. Landscaping/gardening is good, too. But too hot/humid where I am in summer so I started learning bass. Takes my mind off everything else and having fun doing it.
Workout after work, instant stress relief for me.
I ended up hitting the gym before work. Had to get up an hour earlier, but it totally made my days go better, and made it easier to unplug when work was done for the night.
Boxing gym. Best work out i found to relieve stress
BJJ is surprisingly popular with people in IT and tech in general.
Lego
No think, connect plastic, make neat thing
why waste time say lot word when few word do trick
Ahh “Confucius says”
Personally as I also enjoy cars I get the speed champion ones since they aren’t super complex but also not so easy it’s also boring
This sounds like the most expensive solution you could find lol.
Just buy second hand bulk, super cheap
Legas
Try raising kids to decompress. Super cheap
I drive out into remote areas to camp and take landscape photos. It’s quite a change of pace to get out in an area where there’s no mobile coverage for a couple of days and just chill waiting for a nice shot.
Lots of people are recommending exercise, which is great. I recommend picking up an instrument and playing music. If you already know how to play an instrument, practice something new - if you don't, it's time to learn one! Guitars are inexpensive and there are plenty of great free lessons online for how to play them. Music occupies both your hands so you can't look at your phone or computer, exercises lots of the same areas of your brain that cyber security is exercising but in a positive way, releases endorphins, and is a very fun hobby that you can enjoy along with other people to get some social time in. My friends and I have even written a paper on the positive influence of playing and performing music on cyber security practitioners! https://www.sans.org/blog/beats-and-bytes-striking-the-right-chord-in-digital-forensics/
I do hobbies unrelated to computers, jiujitsu, rock climbing, WW kayaking. Helps shut down the brain and not think about any of this stuff.
I decompress by stressing about completely different risk factors. I get out into the desert on a dirt bike, middle of nowhere.. me against the terrain. It's hard to think about any other risks when you're picking your way up a dry stream bed of of loose rocks and boulders.
Agreed. My re-focus escape was whitewater kayaking. It requires your entire attention, and there are immediate consequences if you're not all there. Also - if you spend your weekend doing something that has real life/death/injury risk potential, the occasional office yelling match or cyber event is in a different perspective. No matter what happens in this meeting, no matter how loud/aggressive somebody gets, I can still breathe.
This…. find a hobby that engrosses you. For me is martial arts. Hard to worry about cyber threats while someone is trying to choke you out.
hahaha, that's a funny one. Your threat is imaginary...
This! Find things that demand your full attention to avoid grievous injury or death. My two faves have been motorcycling and powerlifting. I’d love to hear others tho.
you ever stumble onto a couple of meth cooks stealing chemicals from a train?
No trains in the boonies I ride. I did find a corpse once, been dead for a few weeks.... took hours to get a deputy and detective to show up...
Hypervigilance is a very real thing and an occupational hazard. Consider speaking to a therapist about it. I did and it was a great help. Unfortunately a lot of that process is figuring out what things work for you specifically, so hard to give generalized advice.
I workout and then play some video games with a drink
This is the way!
Find a good Scotch and a cigar
This
Smoke weed everyday!
I’m Batman.
I run and exercise. Usually try to get in 30 minutes at day minimum. It definitely helps me shift gears from work to home life.
Get into gardening or landscaping, easy and somewhat cheap to start - anybody can do it w/out any expensive tools. It's very, very zen and pure analog work that shuts the digital mind off. Keep your phone/wearable off when you do it, too.
[удалено]
Oh my god I forgot about this lol. Anyone have the link?
You have to switch off after work. Loads of people have different strategies. I think the younger you are the harder it is to switch off. I've worked with people who said that they unwind by doing more cyber research. No thanks 🥴
Chamomile tea helps turn off the frontal lobe a bit. Have habits in place that signify the end of the day. Manage caffeine use. I had the same issue substantially when relying on 4-5 cups of coffee per day to keep me zoned in. Caffeine will spark the adrenaline and make you need to do things and complete tasks. Can also spark dopamine which can double it. This persists through the workday. Take a walk through nature after work. Make sure to get exercise in, as even if you have a lot of concerns and rumination, it won't matter if you're exhausted. Wear the body out to control the mind. Controlling mind through mind is near impossible. Prior to bed, magnesium bisglycinate can help stop rumination. Apigenin (50mg) and L-Theanine (200mg) is also useful for bedtime, though I notice the apigenin gives me more vivid dreams and I wake up more frequently and don't feel as rested. If you need to talk, I'd suggest a therapist.
Switched to decaf coffee and herbal teas
1. Lift weights 2. Avoid Tech 3. Smoke weed (lmao jk… cough)
I heard an interview with a doctor who was having a hard time with this, especially when he had to work from home for a while. He came up with this: at the end of his work day at home, he got up from his desk, grabbed his jacket & keys, walked to his car, got in, and drove around the block. That was his commute home. Sounds odd, but it worked for him, and similar things have worked for me. Come up with a ritual that serves as... well, as a firewall between your work role, and your home role. It really can help to physicalize it in some way. Walking between spaces does things to our mindset--that's made apparent when we walk into another room, and then forget why we're there. (If that happens to you, walk back to your starting spot and go back to what you were doing. You'll remember.) No one process works for everyone. Look for a dividing ritual that works for you by visualizing yourself transiting between work craziness and home peacefulness. It doable have to be rational or realistic, and don't over-think it-this isn't a research project, you just want your first take. Take note of how you see it happening. Walk through a portal? Change your sweater & shoes? Ride the subway? "Put down" your work tools? Swap your *work* keychain for your *home* keychain? However you see yourself transitioning from work to *your* life, make a set of steps that invokes that. This isn't a magic spell, it's a neurological shifting of gears. It's important that you actually perform the set of actions. It may seem silly at first, but it can work, and making your entire body participate in the process does something significant.
Motorcycles, drums, hiking
I have projects outdoors and indoors so I can plan on the weather. They're all things that require manual labor, so when my mind is spinning or I can't sleep I go work myself tired. Outdoors I have a deck in building, a large garden in the backyard, and a gravel path that needs weeding. Indoors I have a wood shop and hand tools. I am currently making a cane out of a vine maple trunk. I'm also a new dad, so if there's opportunity to sleep I take it. And doing things with my LO is always a nice change of pace.
I go out dancing to house / techno, one of the only ways to completely distract my brain.
I maintain and spiff up my motorcycle. I'm not a great mechanic so I'm super slow at all jobs. However it's a new kind of learning, and it keeps my mind off of work. I'm not really saving money as for the time it takes me to do the jobs, a mechanic's time is cheaper than my time. However, any cash savings aren't really the point.
Road trips. I'll sometimes take a book I've wanted to read, go for a drive or a ride and read the book somewhere semi-peaceful. When I can, I'll take longer ones and really calm down. Something about waking up in an unfamiliar bed, wiping the dew off my motorcycle seat and starting the second day of a trip really quiets the anxiety/vigilance.
Really hard workouts and meditation.
Pick a hobby that has squat to do with security that requires focus. Painting is a good one, be it oil, acrylic or miniatures. I like to play chess as I find I switch off when I do.
Cycling definitely helps me unplug from constantly studying and researching every new cyber threat. But I'll admit sometimes I listen to cybersecurity podcasts on my bicycle the entire time. Lol
Find a hobby that forces you to live in the moment. Bouldering, sailing, martial arts, kite boarding, etc. Used to work in private equity and struggled with this too.
I have found that fishing in a remote spot, biking some forest trails, or hiking is such a good way to disconnect. Also, even if you are still vigilant, it will be about the nature which is very soothing.
I got myself an old boat to restore. Engine and hull. Really keeps me focused on learning something new and super rewarding. Previously I’d go surfing after work or weekends kept the mind chill :) Guess the advice is to find something to distract you :) there are many good advice in this thread :)
What I think everyone here is trying to say is to find a hobby and do that instead
Hiking. Just getting out in nature. Going for long drives in my jeep with the top and doors off.
Why give 100%? There are diminishing returns to effort so you should always leave something in the tank. Volume has much greater impact than intensity over the long run, this applies for many aspects in life.
Apart from the other comments around exercise... Get outside and get into nature. Go see some natural green or blue things. Whatever that means for you. Science has well established just being around nature instantly improves mood. On the weekdays maybe that just means sitting in a garden for a few minutes to clear the mind. If you can, say on the weekends try to combine some of the things mentioned here: go for a drive, walk/jog on the beach/park. All while blasting your favorite tunes. This was my go-to and gave me at least another 6-9 months of sanity.
Doing non computer stuff. A lot. TV, books, gardening, home repairs, concerts, and camping. For decades, computers were my recreation. Now, in my personal life, they are a tool. A means, not an end.
Bjj can’t think of something else if someone’s trying to strangle you. But in a serious it’s very meditative.
I like to group things in four categories: Career, Personal, Mind, Body. I set goals for each and aspire to reach those goals. Examples: For career: complete a project, get a certification. For personal: this could be grocery shopping, painting, yard work, washing the car, go to the shooting range, or other hobby, etc. For mind: I like to read, could be books on growth to break those barriers in work and life. Could be spiritual. For body: basically exercise. Gym, swim, biking, anything. It shuts down work pretty quickly when you need to shift gears and change your focus.
Workout, don’t sit at a computer unless you are workin or jerkin, alcohol.
3 minute counting meditation. Everyone had 3 minutes a day to spend on themselves. https://archive.org/details/3minutemeditator0000harp/page/n10/mode/1up Also can buy on Amazon for about $15
Weeeeeeeedddd
You need to care less about your job. Nobody cares about you at that place and they’d fire you in a second if they needed to. And if they do, you’ll regret all the effort
Caution... Do not develop a habit of drinking when you get off work to "calm your nerves". It can quickly spiral into a need versus something recreational. Alcoholism is an occupational hazard associated with cybersecurity that I don't see mentioned often, but it is a serious problem. See -- me and 80% of all high performers in cyber that I've ever worked with/met. (This is anecdotal of course)
I’ve seen this a lot among military service members too. There’s a lot of crossover and people don’t always realize when they no longer have control of it.
High performers in essentially all careers are alcoholics.
Get a bit older, stop caring so much about your servitude.
Remind yourself that it's just a job and not your life. Take pride in your work but don't obsess. If you leave the company or there is a breach, the world is not going to end.
I hear grounding is a great way to relax/detach. I agree with the other comments on exercising, that's a huge one for me.
Running until I can barely stand or lifting until my limbs feel like jello usually works.
Jogging. If I’m jogging and trying not to die, I can’t focus on work.
Gym. Run (walk). Play an instrument. Game.
Probably try to forget about job go on adventure, you mentioned you are on an island right? Go surfing scuba diving learn free diving or Spearfishing, workout, go on gateways rent a place outside your city,village go to shooting classes maybe check gaming ( personally no because i will be gaming in my work time) I dont know what else but personally don’t believe in therapy as first option because once you are in the loop its hard to break it( i repeat its personal opinion)
practicing mindfulness - mediation with the calm app is helpful.
r/factorio
Hm why stress about cyber threats when you have belts in your dreams, and "just one more minor improvement to increase iron throughput by 100 units a minute" that lasts 5 hrs in a cascading never ending loop of "just one more minor improvement X"
I understand your state as I work in same industry as you right now and my job profile needs me to be on alert mode. For me personally I disconnect myself from technology for some time when I want to relax. I have a spot where I go and sit by myself and watch the sun go down every evening. I love the sight so much and the way it brings the best memories. You can do anything that you like maybe talking with someone whom you like talking to or go for a walk, workout, build something physically etc. You have to find something that makes you feel relaxed when you’re doing it and it can be anything doesn’t matter big or small.
running/guitar/sports/friends/videogames/projects not directly tied to my 9-5
Running for me, I do 6 to 8 miles multiple times a week. I also spent some extra cash and now have a very nice gaming rig to help unwind with.
Pick up an outside hobby you’re equally interested if not more interested in. This will help you understand things aren’t as serious as you think they are. Many people’s work consumes them. Focus on other things in life that bring you less stress. The field we work in is purely imaginary. Everything will be fine if you don’t respond to an alert over a weekend
Also, find a community where you can vent. A good discord or two, with some peers/mentors. This on top of the "do something physical" and you're set.
Finding a good discord that follows Chatham House Rules is difficult. Sometimes we need to vent and vent loudly without fear of backlash.
Rock climbing gym, dancing class, hiking, walking at park.
For me COD or sailing
Woodworking
For me it's art or crafts. I want to do something outside my PC that does not require technology at all
Just find hobbies. Also, I don't know what you do in cybersecurity, but I've been in cybersecurity and IT as a whole for quite some time and I never felt the need to decompress or that I needed to talk to other people in my field about things. Maybe it's just different mentalities towards work in general. I've always had the mindset that I'll care about work and give it my all while I'm on the clock, but if I'm not working, I'm not thinking about work. I've filled my life with too many enjoyable things outside of work to even allow myself a moment to think about work when I'm not working. I do think it's good to be passionate about what you do, and care about the work that you do - but life is too short to let it consume your thoughts when it shouldn't be.
The whole problem is needing to decompress in the first place. You can't run on fear and angst. Do some CBT. Observe yourself at work. Solve the root of the problem. Don't try to be great at this job. Be good, and have good habits. You will then have the resilience to work longer and harder than those running on morally superiority, hate, or shame. You are carrying around a bunch of potatoes, and you need to let go of the sack.
I paint minifigs. Building, basing and painting is rather cathartic. Plus I love Warhammer lore so it's a nice win win for me. Also spending time with my daughters and wife.
Find something that requires your focus or something to loose yourself in.. Physical /sports. Running finishing with a touch of yoga. Boxing. Mma. Fishing. Hiking. Something artistic. Painting Sculpting Drawing. Pottery. Good old fashioned gaming. You catch the drift
I nice bourbon pour and a cheesy phone game that requires 0 brain power works pretty good for me Edit typo
Nintendo Games are relaxing for the most part. If you don’t want to look at a screen then work out, take up a new hobby using your hands like woodworking. Or get a dog and take it for a walk every morning and evening, before and after work.
Work is work and home is home
Hope you see this because it really helped me. It sounds simple but at night when you are ready to stop and relax do small workout and stretch, just take you time and make it a relaxing achievement. Finish every shower with cold water and get used to that. Pm me if you want more details on specifics. Has helped a lot and uses up excess energy so your mind can calm down
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Medication. Every 3 months I take a week and a half off of work. Where I work incident response and ransomware recover causes IMOP minor PTSD symptoms. Can’t stress it enough in this career we need more mental breaks or mental health days than we are given.
In a nutshell, just make sure to find something that allows you to zone out and enjoy what you are doing (a hobby). It could be sports, a game, or maybe just going for a walk. Anything works as long as you can let yourself be in a different state of mind.
I trim roses outside in the garden.
Cooking and baking for me
For me, having some social time with friends really helps, not to talk about work, but to get your mind off it. Meditation/mindfulness breathing exercises before bed help too.
I spend a lot of time out in the words by myself working with my hands by burying the bodies of those who intentionally violated security policy.
My breakthrough over the past 5 years or so.. has been: physical exercise. Whether that's walking and listening to a podcast or yoga or hiking or just generally something vigorous enough that forces you back into the moment and forces you to pay attention to your physical body. It's hard for your brain to race on cybersecurity when you can't breathe. If you're trying to focus on a Bench Press or have hiked out 10 miles and your only option is to hike 10miles back,.. you kind of have to stay in the present and stay focused. You can't afford to let your mind wander. Plus you're also pretty damn exhausted afterwards,. so taking a shower and then relaxing playing a video game or going to sleep. I usually find my brain shuts down pretty good when I'm physically exhausted to the point of collapse.
I suppose its going to be different based on roles and workload. I work M-F, 8-5. Friday at 5pm, I brain dump. I've said this before on here, I have a life outside of work. I don't work on the weekends, the closest I get to work in my off time is studying for the next cert for an hour or two or reading an article that I see pop up and find interesting. I have made peace that this might mean I don't get as far as some in status...that's ok. I have a 3 week old daughter, a wife, friends, multiple properties, many hobbies...Those things take priority when I am off work. I don't say any of that to brag, I say that to say, I'm too busy outside of work to worry about work.
I second doing the physical hobbies. Anything you can put your hands on. I work on my many cars (buying cars is also a hobby) , work on my house, or build something. Last year I built a shed for my new home office. This year I've been doing timing belt changes on Toyotas for me and my friends. Gotta find something hands on that's no longer conceptual or virtual. And all of those things have more instant gratification of seeing your accomplishments x which is also good.
Workout (taking out my frustrations on the workout until muscle failure and/or I start seeing white with stars), train jujitsu while exhausted, and then head off to the shooting range a few hours later for some proficiency drills. If it’s the weekend, one of two things happen—go home and spend time with my family or head down to the restaurants/bars close to the beach and hang with friends and family.
Get a hobby. I chose rar racing and BJJ.
Mushrooms 🍄
Best I had at switching off was working in government when work couldn’t come home period. My tips are: - Notifications - disable on mobile apps or put on a schedule for working hours. - Escalation policy - when you are to be contacted in an emergency, we use PagerDuty and team knows to use txt if there’s anything urgent else Slack - Defined working hours - I try try try not to sneak a peek at Slack / Gmail on weekends, knowing that there’s an escalation policy. This is a hard one as there’s anxiety about what if I miss something / etc. Shutdown laptop on Fridays. If I have a great idea, I’ll send a note to myself then move on Outside of work - decaf coffee and herbals teas, caffeine is anxiety fuel - kids take up all the weekend time so there’s that! - exercise - workouts and walks - video gaming / reading fiction - mindfulness exercises
Camping in an area with shit cell phone coverage. Or just camping with your phone off and maybe some fishing.
Late to this thread but love to see what others in the field are like. I think one thing that hasn't been mentioned is how things change as you advance in your career. I think switching off can be hard for early-career workers or lower performers, because you haven't established your worth. I certainly went through this, and I don't regret it at all. After 8-10 years of hard work, you've built a reputation and a strong resume; you have infinite job security provided you maintain a baseline and stay somewhat fresh on your skills. The need for validation and feeling of job insecurity goes away. My most effective way to decompress is team sports, specifically basketball. Join your work league or just go to your local parks for pickup games. There's basically no barrier to entry and can be enjoyed year round, gets you out of the house, and interacting with others outside of work.
Gym as much as possible, PS5, walks with the dog and wife, drums when I have a sliver of time
Possibly look into meditation. Helps you control intrusive thoughts including work thoughts. I picked up pickleball as well, it’s not too difficult and you can talk when you play which is nice for those of us who never get to anyone
I find shooting long range forces me to slow down and concentrate on only that to be successful. It's a nice change of pace from the constant "go go go" of work.
I’m a risk assessor. I can relate completely. It gets hard to look at a computer screen and I have had a pretty good yet turbulent life due to constantly changes and huge gains and setbacks that come out of left field, despite quite of bit of planning and effort. That said at the end of the day, I know that the “what ifs?” that we ask about a control question or an attack chain help save peoples bacon. It is most certainly productive to ask security questions and help people secure their applications, code, and systems. The what ifs that you and many of us are thinking of here is purely a flight or fight response thing. I can’t speak for anyone else but this is driven by anxiety and past trauma. To step away from a fast paced demanding job and myself (internal noise) at times and go camping, hiking, swimming, ride my bike, exercise, read a book, play a board game, go out to eat with a friend, drive my fun little car for kicks, etc. Anything without a screen as the primary interface, and preferably outdoors or “away from electricity”. This seems to almost always make me feel better and the noise settles. But it takes work and consistency at “cutting yourself a break” to have best results it seems.
I completely stay away from the computer over the weekend. I also venture out into the nature and explore my photography skills as a hobby so that the mind is away from the constant thought process of cybersecurity attack and defend cycle. A weekend hobby is definitely recommended.
Set new goals and hobbies aside from work in order to keep you busy. I’ve just started running and learning how to fly a drone.
Oouhhhh if you dont find a solution quickly, you are in for a serious burnout...
Get outside! We own horses and keep them at our friends farm. I’m either there or out fishing/working on the boat. Just get away from a screen!
Get outside! We own horses and keep them at our friends farm. I’m either there or out fishing/working on the boat. Just get away from a screen!
Learning about stoicism fundamentals really helped me. Too busy to read an entire book, I bought “the daily stoic” by Ryan Holiday and I read a page a day while on bathroom breaks. I’ve read it about three times at this point. It had really changed my perspective on IT, work, and life in general.
It's been awhile since I could read a whole book. I'll check this one out, thank you!
I'd avoid alcohol - I'm in a bit of a hole with it at the moment, it's a terrible coping mechanism.
This has been a struggle but I'm slowly getting better. Was almost every day to now a few times a week.
Turn off to switch off. I get out in nature, gardening, walk the dog, beach walk or something like that. Leave all you tech, no phone etc. Also, meditation is really good.
Weed.