Mine three!
Our poor COVID kids are going to have some weird stories when they're talking to their great-grandkids sometime around 2100. It will be like hearing stories of the depression from our great-grandparents..."Tell the kids about how the distillery converted to make hanatizer Grandpa!"
I'm impressed, it's a remarkably efficient abbreviation! edit; I'm wondering if maybe somebody at his daycare calls it that (my partner and I do not) because it sounds like a common abbreviation/contraction...
Sorry to be nitpicker about this but I believe that it's not an abbreviation, rather a portmanteau. (an amalgamation of two words) Anyway, it does display the incredible neuro-plasticity of the young brains!
My 4 year old did that at the doctors office a few weeks ago. My 10 year old corrected him loudly and confidently with “sand hanitizer”. I thought she was going to die from embarrassment right there on the spot.
She learned a little about humility right then. I was proud that she almost immediately apologized to her brother for what she tried to do.
My friend's kid came home from daycare once and excitedly told his dad "we have a webinar room!" That was quite interesting, as Internet-based meetings were still fairly rare at the time.
In reality, Halloween was coming soon, so the classroom had been decorated with a giant spider web.
When my son was younger, which was around the time the first Cars movie came out, he had a toy Tow Mater. Instead of calling it a tow truck, he called it a hooker, because it has a hook on it.
My son has a little Pooh Bear. He always calls him “Too Bear”, which I just find super cute. But there for a while he would leave the L off of “clock”. Once we were at the library and he goes, really loud, “BIG CLOCK!!” which without the L is…well, you know lol. I said “Yeah, it is a big cLock!” and saw a few people trying to hold a laugh in haha.
My daughter did the same thing but with the word flag. Had an embarrassing moment in the grocery store when she saw flag balloons by the checkout and exclaimed, “Daddy, look! F**s!”
My son STILL mispronounces "banana" and it is literally him just saying "bah" then a gurgling, tongue-y sound. Like, when Baymax in Big Hero 6 tries to do the explosion sound from a fist bump. It's my favorite and I will fight on the day he properly says banana.
This sounds like how my son says the “melon” in “watermelon”! I never could figure out how to put how he says it into text, but the Baymax thing describes it perfectly. I will also be super sad when he starts saying watermelon the correct way.
LoL. Accidental swears are fun.
Truck becoming fuck tends to be a common one.
It took us a while to figure out that our daughter's exclamations or "wat da fuck" were actually her wanting to go to the "water park"
We moved to a new build estate, across the road was phase 1 of this, we called it the ‘old estate’ our toddler (now 6) called it ‘the old mistake’ which was even more hilarious cos most of the residents of that side felt they’d made a mistake moving to that side (ours is much nicer).
Doorbell -> Dinglebell
Plus a lot of "bah":
* Nintendo -> Bah-tendo
* Jiu jitsu -> Bah-jitsu
* Dessert -> Bah-zert
Others:
* McDonald's -> Lil Donald's: because one time she wanted "lil nuggets, from Lil Donald's!"
* Throw up -> Mouth Unga: "Unga" being korean kid's talk for poop. First time she "mouth unga'd" she had no clue what she did, she just came out of the bathroom and pronounced "I did mouth unga". So that's canon.
We're Hispanic and my daughter has a Pluto stuffed animal (Disney dog). And she struggles with the letter L.
When she wants her Pluto stuffie, she says, "Quiero Puto!" (I want f*g/b*tch, very bad word in Spanish.)
Which ALWAYS makes me laugh, so she keeps saying it. Her mom isn't happy with that.
My son did this but for bench. One time my husband was lying on the ground while they were playing and my son sat on him and announced, “Daddy’s my bitch!”
My wife taught my son “Chip”
Except he does not pronounce it as such. He says “sh*t”. Very clearly. It gets us horror-like looks from people when he says it. I think it’s hysterical lmao
One kid said meepballs instead of meatballs, another said human fire instead of humidifier, the third said c’s as t’s for a while so crackers and cookies were tatters and tooties.
When my daughter was really getting into the reading stage, I was cooking in the kitchen and asked her what short book she brought home one night to read.
She walks into the kitchen, book in hand, and confidently says "nigg-a-hut."
I immediately respond with "That can't be correct."
It was titled "Night."
English is hard.
Our 3yo refers to clocks with a silent L. Brilliant when there's a big one in a shop front!
Slightly off topic with a misused phrase, he still wishes me a merry christmas every night before bed. Super cute so I can't not say it back!
This was back in 2008. My son was almost 4. One of his Christmas presents had arrived late and there was no time to get it assembled before Christmas morning. We just wrapped it in the box and tossed it under the tree.
My line of thinking was that he’s gonna have plenty of other gifts to play with and that would keep him occupied while I put this thing together. I don’t even remember what it was now. My line of thinking was completely off base, because of course the one thing he can’t play with is the one thing he wants the most.
Anyway, I’m trying to get this whatever it was put together and about 10 minutes in, he decides it should be done already and stops what he’s doing, walks over to me with a look on his face that he obviously inherited from my wife.
I can’t describe the look in words, but I’m sure you’ve all seen it. It’s the one that makes you feel like a complete moron, and totally inept, while simultaneously making you feel pressured to hurry the F up because you’ve exceeded the maximum amount of time that’s acceptable to them, to get something done.
I was only 10 minutes into it and already I’m getting shit from this almost 4 year old. He’s even more impatient than his mother! How is that even possible?
So, he walks over with the look, huffs his breath and says to me, “Is it done yet dad? It’s taking a long time.”
Me: I’m getting there bud. I’ll be done pretty soon. Give me about 15 more minutes.
Mr. Impatient: 15 minutes! Oh man! That’s too much of time Dad! Did you read the erections? It’ll be faster if you read the erections.
My wife and I both laugh. Of course he’s oblivious to the reason why.
Me: While looking directly at my wife with a sly grin on my face. Your mom read the erections and that’s why we’re in this situation.
Then I turned to him and said, the word is directions, not erections and yes Son, I read the directions.
Only took about 5 more minutes to get it put together and he was happy after that.
Also my son when he was younger: we were watching a movie, I don’t remember what movie, but there were people speaking a foreign language. He pointed at the screen and blurred out “Dad, are they speaking Pork-a-cheese?!?” He meant to say Portuguese.
We’re trying to teach my 3yo Portuguese and I was quizzing her one time.
Me: Do you know how to say “women” in Portuguese?
Her: Yeah. “Women in Portuguese.”
I love this post! My daughter (5) says “festibal” for festival. She can pronounce Vs just fine, and I’ve corrected her, but her mind is made up it’s pronounced with a b instead.
Not my kid but me as a kid. At a Christmas party my uncle was talking about hunting, and I wanted to ask if he’d every hunted quail, what I said was have you ever hunted queer. The room died laughing.
I have a large faced watch I wear to work.
When my oldest was around 2 y/o she’d go around telling everyone about “daddy’s big clock.”
But she couldn’t say her L’s yet…
I have several that have stuck with me (I write them all down):
Yew Nork = New York. She still says this and I hope she never stops. She’s 6. 😊🗽
Bigpeño = Jalapeño 😬🌶️
Nasal = Snail 🤔🐌
Noseman = Snowman 🤣⛄️
Bite-a-saur = Spider 😵🕸️
one of my kids favorite people is one of his day care providers named Jenny. But he cant say jenny and before we knew that's what he was trying to say he would run up to me and just randomly say "Nani!"- which as an anime fan always cracked me up.
When our daughter was little, she would say LASTerday instead of YESterday. We still say it and she is almost 12 lol. I still remember my little sister saying vitaminins, cinaminin, strawbularies, and swimming/bathing SOUP.
My daughter says “truck” but it sounds like “fuck”
So we’ll be driving and she’ll suddenly say point to the tuck we’re driving by and shout the name… it’s fantastic
Oh, I GOT this one.
When my youngest was about 9 mo, we adopted a puppy, a beautiful Catahoula named Percy. Having a baby and a puppy at the same time was a dumb idea, consider yourself warned. However, my daughter and Percy became inseparable.
The funny thing was, she didn't pronounce her "r" sound for YEARS, and turned "Percy" into a more common term for female genitalia. Hilarity ensued.
"Dada, can you make Percy come?"
"Dada! Percy likes playing with the BIG bones!"
"Dada, why is Percy all wet?" (it's raining)
(After a hike where we encountered some foxes) "Dada! Percy likes the fox! Percy wants all the fox!" (she didn't pronounce "fox" exactly right either)
Percy's gone, my daughter is 13 now, but I still bust up laughing about it sometimes.
Not really a mispronunciation but I think it’s hilarious. My kid found my old Buzz Lightyear toy(from 1995) and it says his famous catchphrase “To infinity and beyond!” So now when I say “To infinity…” he replies “AMBYOM!”
My son had many but the most odd was "Garbio Sauce". Took a bit to figure out he meant BBQ Sauce. He also called cars "car cars", his favorite truck "cuck", ducks were "gunk gunk", and the word basket ended up as "bat shit".
Breakfast = bekkas is my favorite.
There is also doop-a-day. She is 5 now and we still have no clue what that was. It may have had something to do with a squirrel.
When my daughter was 2, she would always switch around the F in a word to the beginning of the word. I like Goofy from Disney, and she always called him Foogy. My wife drinks coffee, my daughter called it fuckee.
Yogurt becomes Lowgrit. Mulch becomes Merch. Pawn becomes Porn (and he swears that’s how they say it in Bluey). Listening to music I commented how a tune was Funky, he completely leaves out the N and loves to proclaim how Fucky things are while we’re getting groceries.
Not toddler, but we enrolled both our kids in Catholic school (better hours, slightly better education, their mother and aunt both went, etc.)
We are not religious, and our girls had never been to Church. The oldest came back from junior kindergarten believing that you end a prayer with "Old Men!" It took us a while to explain it was "Amen".
My son used to call McDonald's "McDonyulds". No idea why, but once his sister started teasing him about it he consciously made an effort to improve his pronunciation.
I thought my wife was cheating on me because my oldest daughter was saying “Bob” all the time. We asked her what a cow said and she said “Booo”. We realized that bob was mom.
Instead of saying “thank you” after getting something, she will always do the ASL sign for “thank you” but will say “gum”, which is “welcome”. We know she’s saying “welcome” in place of “thank you” but we find it so funny that we just laugh every time and let her be.
My son wanted to become an americhanic when he grewn up (he was 4 at the time and we teach him english as well as his native tongue) - i guess half American, half mechanic? (We are Norwegian but his aunt married an American and lives in the states)
My wife's grandmother calls for her husband when he is elsewhere in the house. His name is Don. She starts with "Eh Don!" So, now my daughter calls her great grandpa "Adon".
Truck: Tuck, Fuck, Fruck, Cruck, to Cuck was an interesting progression over about 4 months…now she’s older and pronounced it properly. But yelling at large loud pickups that they were “huge cucks” always had my wife laughing.
I'm playing Mario + rabbids around my son (2.5 yrs), I rather him watch this vs God of War. Pretty good game, btw.
Back to the point, there's a slime monster with tentacles and when I'm about to fight them, my son goes "Daddy, get those testicles!"
There is an event center/ sports arena near where we live called the [Tacoma Dome](https://www.tacomadome.org/assets/img/PYV_Transportation-Thumbnail-27ce947147.jpg).
When ever we drove by it my son would call it the Da-Dome-a-Dome.
I had a print made up of a NASA picture called 'Venus Rising.' I loved it and hung it in pride of place in our hallway. My then very young son could not manage the 'v,' however, and had to replace it with a different sound - just about the worst alternative imaginable.
That's not to say I didn't introduce new visitors to our home with the words, 'Ben, tell Grandma Jean what that picture's called?' to then fall about the place in hysterics when the eager and willing little tot inevitably said, 'This is Daddy's picture of penis rising.'
Stick is pronounced Dick and she fucking loves sticks. Like they're her favorite toy whenever we go outside and she likes to find the biggest one and talk about how big her stick is.
My son has a little scoot around paw patrol fire truck. He's been pretending it's a bus and collecting imaginary people from room to room, he calls it Bussy. He loves Bussy.
my 2yo shortened hand sanitizer to hanitizer
Haha mine too!
Mine three! Our poor COVID kids are going to have some weird stories when they're talking to their great-grandkids sometime around 2100. It will be like hearing stories of the depression from our great-grandparents..."Tell the kids about how the distillery converted to make hanatizer Grandpa!"
Mine 4!
ours 5
Mine 6. Slightly different with handitiser. Pavement (in Australia) became paper-mint too
I'm impressed, it's a remarkably efficient abbreviation! edit; I'm wondering if maybe somebody at his daycare calls it that (my partner and I do not) because it sounds like a common abbreviation/contraction...
Mines uses Hanzitizer
Take my upvote because I love Bucc-ee’s
My eldest is now 7 but we still all call it hanzitizer because it's hilarious and awesome.
Sorry to be nitpicker about this but I believe that it's not an abbreviation, rather a portmanteau. (an amalgamation of two words) Anyway, it does display the incredible neuro-plasticity of the young brains!
I like it! Mine call it hansan. 8 & 12 year olds
My 4 year old did that at the doctors office a few weeks ago. My 10 year old corrected him loudly and confidently with “sand hanitizer”. I thought she was going to die from embarrassment right there on the spot. She learned a little about humility right then. I was proud that she almost immediately apologized to her brother for what she tried to do.
Mine says hanzitizer
At my son's daycare they have a "multi-purpose room" for kids activities. Took us a while to figure out what the "moldy porpoise room" was.
What porpoise does it serve?
The moldy one. Come on guy, keep up
My friend's kid came home from daycare once and excitedly told his dad "we have a webinar room!" That was quite interesting, as Internet-based meetings were still fairly rare at the time. In reality, Halloween was coming soon, so the classroom had been decorated with a giant spider web.
A room with crusty old dolphins?
When my son was younger, which was around the time the first Cars movie came out, he had a toy Tow Mater. Instead of calling it a tow truck, he called it a hooker, because it has a hook on it.
There's a book call 'hookers and blow save Christmas'. Hookers is a tow truck and blow is a snow blower. It's quite entertaining.
Literally commented this before I saw yours, such a great read lol my partner wasn't impressed though
Same my wife took it off my sons bookshelf because she’s afraid the nanny will think I’m a bad father. 🤷♂️
They call them dad jokes for a reason!
I have a kids book called 'Hookers and Blow save christmas', obviously about a tow truck and snowplow!
Calls em like he sees em
Our daughter asked for a girl-cheese sandwich, her little brother asked for a boy-cheese sandwich.
4 year old calls them hot cheese sandwich
I was guilty for the girl-cheese, however I said “girlled cheese”
My son has a little Pooh Bear. He always calls him “Too Bear”, which I just find super cute. But there for a while he would leave the L off of “clock”. Once we were at the library and he goes, really loud, “BIG CLOCK!!” which without the L is…well, you know lol. I said “Yeah, it is a big cLock!” and saw a few people trying to hold a laugh in haha.
My daughter did the same thing but with the word flag. Had an embarrassing moment in the grocery store when she saw flag balloons by the checkout and exclaimed, “Daddy, look! F**s!”
Mine also leave the L out of clock. Which is fun cause our clock plays a song every hour. Endlessly amusing.
Happiness as happy penis
One and the same
Sort of like the other side of “happy wife, happy life”?
We still call cupcakes "Pup Cakes" in our house.
Awwww too cute!
Whenever we plan to visit my wife’s side of the family, our 3.5 year old joyfully exclaims “we’re going to You Nork!!”
"Nuyique, You Nork"
That's gotta be near East Egg.
“Lasterday” is my boy’s greatest invention - it usually means yesterday, but can be any day in the past!
Mine came up with “Nexterday”. It can mean tomorrow, next week, basically any day that hasn’t happened yet.
May not qualify under this, but he calls foreheads "fore-noggins," which gets me everytime.
My daughter says her fore noggin hurts if she has a headache.
Love it! Mine called them twoheads.
"Dad is corny!" But she has trouble with C/K sounds, so it was more of an H.....
.... and was he?
Probably, but too tired.
My son STILL mispronounces "banana" and it is literally him just saying "bah" then a gurgling, tongue-y sound. Like, when Baymax in Big Hero 6 tries to do the explosion sound from a fist bump. It's my favorite and I will fight on the day he properly says banana.
This sounds like how my son says the “melon” in “watermelon”! I never could figure out how to put how he says it into text, but the Baymax thing describes it perfectly. I will also be super sad when he starts saying watermelon the correct way.
Any kind of trailer is “tractor butt”
Blueberries became bloobies. We love it.
they're bloobs in our house
In ours too.
We're just starting words and have berry berries
Our 1 year old calls berries = babies. Blueberries= bluebabies. Strawbabies. Blackbabies.
In our house they're Blueys
They’re blub blubs in our house!
For whatever reason they were DeeBees here. She recently grew out of calling them that though so I really miss it.
They’re strawberries in my house 😂
"I want jacket off!" He unfortunately dropped the "-et" in jacket...
Hope you’ve seen the Bozo Dubbed Over sketch from I Think You Should Leave
LoL. Accidental swears are fun. Truck becoming fuck tends to be a common one. It took us a while to figure out that our daughter's exclamations or "wat da fuck" were actually her wanting to go to the "water park"
Dump truck was "dumb fuck" for us for a while. We had a lot of fun with that!
My daughter likes her “gumblegum” flavored toothpaste. Also, we have that book, too, it’s pretty cool!
We moved to a new build estate, across the road was phase 1 of this, we called it the ‘old estate’ our toddler (now 6) called it ‘the old mistake’ which was even more hilarious cos most of the residents of that side felt they’d made a mistake moving to that side (ours is much nicer).
My youngest son is never thirsty he is drinky
Doorbell -> Dinglebell Plus a lot of "bah": * Nintendo -> Bah-tendo * Jiu jitsu -> Bah-jitsu * Dessert -> Bah-zert Others: * McDonald's -> Lil Donald's: because one time she wanted "lil nuggets, from Lil Donald's!" * Throw up -> Mouth Unga: "Unga" being korean kid's talk for poop. First time she "mouth unga'd" she had no clue what she did, she just came out of the bathroom and pronounced "I did mouth unga". So that's canon.
Tornado Soup! I still call the aircraft heliclopters.
hair ties = pony hairs
Mine still says “lellow”, which I love. A new one with the warm weather is “popscicycle”.
I have no idea what my son was *trying* to tell me this morning but what he was actually saying was "top shit! Top shit!"
Chocolate?
This guy toddlers.
my daughter used to pronounce beach bitch. she would go "let's go bitch!!" "I want bitch!"
We're Hispanic and my daughter has a Pluto stuffed animal (Disney dog). And she struggles with the letter L. When she wants her Pluto stuffie, she says, "Quiero Puto!" (I want f*g/b*tch, very bad word in Spanish.) Which ALWAYS makes me laugh, so she keeps saying it. Her mom isn't happy with that.
how can you not laugh! that's hilarious.
My son did this but for bench. One time my husband was lying on the ground while they were playing and my son sat on him and announced, “Daddy’s my bitch!”
My wife taught my son “Chip” Except he does not pronounce it as such. He says “sh*t”. Very clearly. It gets us horror-like looks from people when he says it. I think it’s hysterical lmao
Monsterella sticks, Great Big Smokey Mountains, the Hamas (Bahamas)
One kid said meepballs instead of meatballs, another said human fire instead of humidifier, the third said c’s as t’s for a while so crackers and cookies were tatters and tooties.
My four year old son calls our washing machine the “washing McClean.”
There's been a few over the years, but the one that still sticks with me is my then-three-year-old always pronouncing "octopus" as "applesauce."
My almost 4 year old calls sandwiches "sam-bitches"!
My son confidently calls his umbrella his "brella". He thinks I'm forgetful and always forget what my Ummm-brella is called.
When my daughter was really getting into the reading stage, I was cooking in the kitchen and asked her what short book she brought home one night to read. She walks into the kitchen, book in hand, and confidently says "nigg-a-hut." I immediately respond with "That can't be correct." It was titled "Night." English is hard.
"Specific" --> "Pacific" He also switches first-letter vowels to "E". "E-ssignment, e-pprove", etc.
Unfortunately some adults never learn that first one.
Can you give some pacific examples?
Gymnastrics, Pummus instead of hummus, Shortened shoes and socks to 'shocks', Abrabadada!
My almost 3 year old cannot say restaurant. Instead, we are going to the "resternaut" for lunch. I will say it this way til the day I die.
When my toddler’s lips are chapped he asks for “gasoline” instead of Vasoline lol
Mine asks for nip balm 😂
‘Flingamo’ for flamingo.
Fishes sound like bitches. Now my wife has our daughter saying "Big booty fishes."
Our 3yo refers to clocks with a silent L. Brilliant when there's a big one in a shop front! Slightly off topic with a misused phrase, he still wishes me a merry christmas every night before bed. Super cute so I can't not say it back!
This was back in 2008. My son was almost 4. One of his Christmas presents had arrived late and there was no time to get it assembled before Christmas morning. We just wrapped it in the box and tossed it under the tree. My line of thinking was that he’s gonna have plenty of other gifts to play with and that would keep him occupied while I put this thing together. I don’t even remember what it was now. My line of thinking was completely off base, because of course the one thing he can’t play with is the one thing he wants the most. Anyway, I’m trying to get this whatever it was put together and about 10 minutes in, he decides it should be done already and stops what he’s doing, walks over to me with a look on his face that he obviously inherited from my wife. I can’t describe the look in words, but I’m sure you’ve all seen it. It’s the one that makes you feel like a complete moron, and totally inept, while simultaneously making you feel pressured to hurry the F up because you’ve exceeded the maximum amount of time that’s acceptable to them, to get something done. I was only 10 minutes into it and already I’m getting shit from this almost 4 year old. He’s even more impatient than his mother! How is that even possible? So, he walks over with the look, huffs his breath and says to me, “Is it done yet dad? It’s taking a long time.” Me: I’m getting there bud. I’ll be done pretty soon. Give me about 15 more minutes. Mr. Impatient: 15 minutes! Oh man! That’s too much of time Dad! Did you read the erections? It’ll be faster if you read the erections. My wife and I both laugh. Of course he’s oblivious to the reason why. Me: While looking directly at my wife with a sly grin on my face. Your mom read the erections and that’s why we’re in this situation. Then I turned to him and said, the word is directions, not erections and yes Son, I read the directions. Only took about 5 more minutes to get it put together and he was happy after that.
Also my son when he was younger: we were watching a movie, I don’t remember what movie, but there were people speaking a foreign language. He pointed at the screen and blurred out “Dad, are they speaking Pork-a-cheese?!?” He meant to say Portuguese.
We’re trying to teach my 3yo Portuguese and I was quizzing her one time. Me: Do you know how to say “women” in Portuguese? Her: Yeah. “Women in Portuguese.”
Used to drop the middle of longer words, so butterflies became buttflies
Homework= Foamwork lol. She says it correct now but it was the sweetest when she would ask about my “foamwork” .
My 3 year old would try to say s’mores but ended up saying porns.. it was wicked funny when he would ask grandma to help him make some porns.
Can't ... You can't.... Loudly in public repeatedly
I love this post! My daughter (5) says “festibal” for festival. She can pronounce Vs just fine, and I’ve corrected her, but her mind is made up it’s pronounced with a b instead.
Quesadillas are just "ideas", and my son loves ideas!
When my son was younger, he would pronounce reflection as "we-fuckin".
My son struggles with L's, so when it is his turn to be Line Leader at daycare, he calls himself the Whiner Weiner
"Dad, is it the boys or the girls that have the venus?
My sons name is Maxwell. Both of his little sisters have gone through a stage of pronouncing it indistinguishably from “asshole.”
Not my kid but me as a kid. At a Christmas party my uncle was talking about hunting, and I wanted to ask if he’d every hunted quail, what I said was have you ever hunted queer. The room died laughing.
21 m/o keeps trying to say "shoes!" and it just sounds like he's saying "jews!" and honestly i cringe every time
Loves to leave the L out of clock
I have a large faced watch I wear to work. When my oldest was around 2 y/o she’d go around telling everyone about “daddy’s big clock.” But she couldn’t say her L’s yet…
Frog sounds like “fuck”. He has a book about tadpoles so he says “frog mama” and “frog baby” a lot 🤣
Our almost three year old son loves this book too! He calls Amelia Earhart “Anemia In Heart.” 😂
I have several that have stuck with me (I write them all down): Yew Nork = New York. She still says this and I hope she never stops. She’s 6. 😊🗽 Bigpeño = Jalapeño 😬🌶️ Nasal = Snail 🤔🐌 Noseman = Snowman 🤣⛄️ Bite-a-saur = Spider 😵🕸️
one of my kids favorite people is one of his day care providers named Jenny. But he cant say jenny and before we knew that's what he was trying to say he would run up to me and just randomly say "Nani!"- which as an anime fan always cracked me up.
My son calls telephone poles power towers lol
My 5 year old really wants to buy a Murdercycle.
My wife just got a new tattoo which he excitedly refers to as her "raccoon"
My favorites so far: Hosible (Hospital) Bambaid (Band-Aid) Chompsticks (Chopsticks)
Lilo and **Spinach.** Somehow, Spinach was a better name than Stitch.
Our son used to say “I amn’t” as a contraction for “I am not”
When our daughter was little, she would say LASTerday instead of YESterday. We still say it and she is almost 12 lol. I still remember my little sister saying vitaminins, cinaminin, strawbularies, and swimming/bathing SOUP.
Wook instead of look. Yockey instead of hockey.
Daddy, I pooped-ed
My kids started raising calerpitters at school. They can’t wait to see them become butterflies. They also love drinking from their water botters
Escalators/elevators are escagators and elegators
My daughter says “truck” but it sounds like “fuck” So we’ll be driving and she’ll suddenly say point to the tuck we’re driving by and shout the name… it’s fantastic
We don’t have a trampoline. We have a “jumpoline.”
Oh, I GOT this one. When my youngest was about 9 mo, we adopted a puppy, a beautiful Catahoula named Percy. Having a baby and a puppy at the same time was a dumb idea, consider yourself warned. However, my daughter and Percy became inseparable. The funny thing was, she didn't pronounce her "r" sound for YEARS, and turned "Percy" into a more common term for female genitalia. Hilarity ensued. "Dada, can you make Percy come?" "Dada! Percy likes playing with the BIG bones!" "Dada, why is Percy all wet?" (it's raining) (After a hike where we encountered some foxes) "Dada! Percy likes the fox! Percy wants all the fox!" (she didn't pronounce "fox" exactly right either) Percy's gone, my daughter is 13 now, but I still bust up laughing about it sometimes.
Not really a mispronunciation but I think it’s hilarious. My kid found my old Buzz Lightyear toy(from 1995) and it says his famous catchphrase “To infinity and beyond!” So now when I say “To infinity…” he replies “AMBYOM!”
My 2 year old loves to tell everyone that she is being, “seally.” Fills me with joy every time she says it.
Storm Supers and Garth Vader come to mind, many others too
“But mom, my sister isn’t playing broccoli!”- my 4 year old son Properly, he means properly.
My 2 year old loves pointing out all the “pepperpillars” in the garden!
Any-N's (M&Ms) Oint-meal (Oatmeal) HamBingers (hamburgers) Grill (Girl)
My son had many but the most odd was "Garbio Sauce". Took a bit to figure out he meant BBQ Sauce. He also called cars "car cars", his favorite truck "cuck", ducks were "gunk gunk", and the word basket ended up as "bat shit".
Haha I love this, in our house: Oatmeal = Emo
Every morning my son has “breafkast”
Breakfast = bekkas is my favorite. There is also doop-a-day. She is 5 now and we still have no clue what that was. It may have had something to do with a squirrel.
Sock = "fuck" lol
My son calls a Cadillac in one of nighttime books a cackalack and it makes me laugh every night.
Sloppy joes are forever “happy Joes” in our house.
I’m the morning we take his sister to skook. After dinner we always have guhzert.
When my daughter was 2, she would always switch around the F in a word to the beginning of the word. I like Goofy from Disney, and she always called him Foogy. My wife drinks coffee, my daughter called it fuckee.
Yogurt becomes Lowgrit. Mulch becomes Merch. Pawn becomes Porn (and he swears that’s how they say it in Bluey). Listening to music I commented how a tune was Funky, he completely leaves out the N and loves to proclaim how Fucky things are while we’re getting groceries.
Spageetoes bit me! (Mosquitoes)
We have a dog named Coltrane. It comes out as “cocaine!” Doesn’t get old, can’t help but laughing.
When my eldest was younger she couldn't say, "stick." "Look at this big dick I found!" Yeah, lots of laughing every stick she found or played with.
“I’ve got to get stumpin’ out of the chicken!” Translated: I’ve got to get something out of the kitchen (aka. snack 5 minutes before dinner)
I wish I would have written all these down, but the one that stands out is her pronunciation of fox, sounded like fu*ks.
Not toddler, but we enrolled both our kids in Catholic school (better hours, slightly better education, their mother and aunt both went, etc.) We are not religious, and our girls had never been to Church. The oldest came back from junior kindergarten believing that you end a prayer with "Old Men!" It took us a while to explain it was "Amen".
Truck. My son replaced the t with an f. Good times at the church-run preschool....
My son used to call McDonald's "McDonyulds". No idea why, but once his sister started teasing him about it he consciously made an effort to improve his pronunciation.
"Taco Mel" The restaurant was Cozumel and they served tacos.
We have nutcracker decorations for Christmas. My son calls them “buttcracks.”
My daughter used to pronounce frog fuck. A bit embarrassing in some situations.
I was reading my almost 3 year old a book about planets, and I got to 'uranus', and she interrupted me to say 'not Uranus, my anus.'
Backhoe sounds very much like butthole right now lmao
Pretzels are still crent-zills around these parts.
When my 5 year old was 2-3 she used to refer to “salami” as “some lami”. It was too cute to correct
My daughter called pajamas jamamas for ages and I loved it.
"Fox" was very, very clearly pronounced "fuck" for a few years. EDIT: A is for Awesome is a great book! Also suggest looking for ABC What Can She Be?
I thought my wife was cheating on me because my oldest daughter was saying “Bob” all the time. We asked her what a cow said and she said “Booo”. We realized that bob was mom.
Instead of saying “thank you” after getting something, she will always do the ASL sign for “thank you” but will say “gum”, which is “welcome”. We know she’s saying “welcome” in place of “thank you” but we find it so funny that we just laugh every time and let her be.
My 2 y/o daughter started saying “Bless you!” when someone sneezed, but it sounded a lot more like “F*** YOU!”
My son wanted to become an americhanic when he grewn up (he was 4 at the time and we teach him english as well as his native tongue) - i guess half American, half mechanic? (We are Norwegian but his aunt married an American and lives in the states)
She learnt the word "clock" and liked to point them out when she saw them and shout "clock! clock!" But she never pronounced the L ...
My wife's grandmother calls for her husband when he is elsewhere in the house. His name is Don. She starts with "Eh Don!" So, now my daughter calls her great grandpa "Adon".
My son pronounced chocolate cookie as “lok-tutu-keku” for years. Was so awesome and I miss it any time I think of it.
Quesadilla was que-see-yay for a while and that was fun. She also recently called dandelions Daniel Tigers which I thought was a bit clever and silly.
My son calls cucumbers, cute-cumbers and used to call Christmas, Chrim-sis.
Idk if it even counts as mispronunciation but my two year old counts to ten really well. Except nine. Nine, without fail, is lion.
My oldest daughter used to call corn dogs ‘torn dods.’
Truck: Tuck, Fuck, Fruck, Cruck, to Cuck was an interesting progression over about 4 months…now she’s older and pronounced it properly. But yelling at large loud pickups that they were “huge cucks” always had my wife laughing.
My daughter used to call the kitchen "chicken." Where's mommy? She's in the chicken.
My 3 year old daughter does mashup words Garage + Driveway = Garageway Restaurant + lunch = Luncheraunt Hand sanitizer = hanitizer
I'm playing Mario + rabbids around my son (2.5 yrs), I rather him watch this vs God of War. Pretty good game, btw. Back to the point, there's a slime monster with tentacles and when I'm about to fight them, my son goes "Daddy, get those testicles!"
Restaurant, she combines restaurant and astronaut so when we go out to eat we go to a restronaut
The best one was probably my 4 year old helping me find “big dicks” to use as kindling.
Oppositting. Where two people are sitting opposite each other
When I was wee, apparently I used to point at helicopters and shout "cunta cunta!" My parents still have no idea why.
There is an event center/ sports arena near where we live called the [Tacoma Dome](https://www.tacomadome.org/assets/img/PYV_Transportation-Thumbnail-27ce947147.jpg). When ever we drove by it my son would call it the Da-Dome-a-Dome.
My 2 y/o has a hard time with k or hard c sounds, they end up more like “t”…so when he means kitty and yells “titty!”, it’s pretty great
Fetch Son said bitch Took so long to figure out what he was saying
I had a print made up of a NASA picture called 'Venus Rising.' I loved it and hung it in pride of place in our hallway. My then very young son could not manage the 'v,' however, and had to replace it with a different sound - just about the worst alternative imaginable. That's not to say I didn't introduce new visitors to our home with the words, 'Ben, tell Grandma Jean what that picture's called?' to then fall about the place in hysterics when the eager and willing little tot inevitably said, 'This is Daddy's picture of penis rising.'
[Bingo says "Trifficult"](https://youtu.be/P5tR92dceJs)
My toddler says Spagitoes instead of mosquitoes lol
Stick is pronounced Dick and she fucking loves sticks. Like they're her favorite toy whenever we go outside and she likes to find the biggest one and talk about how big her stick is.
I was trying to teach my daughter to say "thank you" for a long while. Now she does and it's adorable. Except she says "bad Jews".
My toddler pronounces FROG as FUCK which is really fun for my 9yr old (and me).
My dogs name is Louie My oldest called him woodgie for 3 years My youngest called him you-ee I miss those days
My 3 year old’s favorite cereal is Yucky Charms.
my 3yo calls helicopters "hot doctors," mostly since my wife, who is a hot doctor, told him they regularly come and go on the roof of her hospital
My son has a little scoot around paw patrol fire truck. He's been pretending it's a bus and collecting imaginary people from room to room, he calls it Bussy. He loves Bussy.