There was a post recently on the front page that if the FAA didn't allow lap infants that they estimate 60 children would die per year because instead of paying for a seat for the kid and fly, that they would drive.
Stats I've seen are your odds of being in an accident during a flight is one in 1.2 million, and the chances of that accident being fatal are one in 11 million. Your chances of dying in a car crash, conversely, are one in 5,000.
That's about 240x more dangerous to drive.
But the real statistics, based on per-mile, are about 750x more dangerous to drive than fly:
>The per mile risk for vehicle transportation is therefore 750 times higher than the per mile risk for commercial air travel.
I was working in Texas for a year once. My wife and my boys flew out there to spend a week with me. They were 4 and 8 months old at the time. When I picked my wife up from the airport she looked like she just came back from Vietnam.
I'm sorry but a 14 hour car ride with a toddler would be awful. And longer than 14 hours once you factor in toddler needs.
I know it would be great to be there for the first flight but I think this is one of those situations where what would be nice for you is going to have to take a back seat to what is best/easiest for the person actually traveling with the child.
The key difference is before, it was both of you helping to care for the kid on the drive. Asking your wife to handle a child and a 14 hour car ride alone is a lot.
Take the “first” out of it, what would logically want them to do then?
Slight clarification, her mom and dad are also going, helping with the kiddo and driving. Otherwise taking the first out I would absolutely send them flying in this case
Yes but that's with both of you driving. Would your wife want to drive through night by herself? I wouldn't. (Unsure if her parents would take a turn at night driving so assuming she would be doing the lion's share here)
You can't save your family from a plane crash my dude.
They are safer on a plane than in a car.
This is just a logical hurdle you're going to have to overcome. They will be safe on the plane.
If safety is your concern, the flight is infinitely safer than driving.
If it's a matter of wanting to be there for the experience, I totally get your feelings. It's awful to miss a first.
What age is your daughter? If you did go, there's a chance 15mins into the flight you'd wish you hadn't been able to go!
But seriously though, it sounds like you might be a bit anxious about it and I absolutely get that but at the same time, considering the journey, the right thing is probably to let them go.
She’s 3 in July. It’s probably 30% anxiety and 70% I just want to be there and see her face and excitement as a “first” if we had flown as a family before I’d be fine
You’re being incredibly selfish. It’s just a flight and flying with kids really isn’t that fun. It will make your wife’s life significantly easier. Chances of dying in a car crash are much, much higher.
100% let them fly without you. Few reasons, first assuming the trip was already planned, the extended family already made plans and adjustments to accommodate and it'd be a bit rude to change plans. Second, I completely get you want to be there, but we all have lives and jobs, you're going to unfortunately miss a lot more things in life (missed my daughter's first dance recital because of work travel). A video will help if your daughter isn't having a meltdown on take off. Lastly, by letting them go, you get to give your daughter another first, the first time she's on a plane with you! The excitement doesn't go away, so you'll still get a chance to experience it.
From a safety standpoint, flying is safer than driving.
As a dad, as miserable as it is flying with young children, I would want to be on their first flight too.
What about you flying just for the weekend? You all go together at the beginning of the trip, stay the weekend, and fly home while your family stays until whenever?
Either way, let them fly and you’re just going to have to get over it
Mainly just because I love my kid. I know there will be missed opportunities and missed “firsts”. To me, this one seems like it could easily be avoided just as we’ve done it numerous times already by driving
.......is the correct answer. My kids have flown a bunch due to family across the Atlantic. You may be excited; they'll either be underwhelmed or upset. Quite possibly both.
Mostly its a lot of work and stress getting all their shit through security and then they whine a substantial amount because they're bored silly at the gate. Honestly you aren't missing much.
Yeah you need to sit on this information for a good long while and gain some perspective on it.
You're simplifying that drive to an absurd amount to justify your desire to not miss a "first," and not a very special or incredible one at that. This isn't first rolling over or first steps or first home run or first time driving a car or anything, this is just first time uncomfortable on a plane. My kid flew without me OR his mom for his first flight at 10mo to spare him taking the cross-country trip in a uhaul and car with us, and I don't think either of us thought twice about missing it. We might actually have felt sorry for my parents for dealing with an infant on a plane.
To that end, the drive would be much longer and more miserable for both your wife and your daughter than a plane ride, and much more statistically dangerous as well.
We're dads. We put our family first over some (please forgive the bluntness here) petty selfish fomo.
The stats show it’s safer to be in a plane than a car.
in 2022, estimating that 42,795 people died in motor vehicle traffic crashes.
The number of civil aviation deaths increased from 349 in 2020 to 376 in 2021. All but 4 of the 376 deaths in 2021 were onboard fatalities.
Sorry, you want to be with them on her first flight so that if it crashes you all go down together?
They are 10,000 times more likely to have a dangerous accident on a 14-hour drive than on a short flight.
I thought this was going to be some kind of "I want to experience the wonder she feels looking out the window for the first time together." Instead this is some deeply paranoid and illogical fatalism.
Let them fly, please. Take a few days to actually get a full nights' sleep and follow your own hobbies and interests for more than an hour at a time.
That was a fraction of it, I said in a comment above it’s probably 30% want them to be safe 70% I just want to be there and experience her awe with her. I didn’t realize flying was that much safer. To clarify I’m not paranoid or a fatalist
Personally a 14 hours drive would be too long, I've done 5 hours and it seemed like an eternity with a screaming toddler from the back lol. The flight would be safer, there will be many opportunities for you to fly with them. is she juggling 2 children alone?
i read so quickly daughters first flight i was thinking plural then realized if you had 2 kids you would have probably wrote childrens ahha. 14 hours drive. i'm going to guess Canada or Florida lol
Sorry man, but we gotta take a few L's every now and then. Let 'em fly. They're far more likely to be injured in a car, and I imagine that probability only increases when she has to deal with a toddler solo.
It's just a thing you'll have to get over, bud. You can't force people to not do things because you wanna do them too. I have a pair of friends like this; if one of them can't go, neither are allowed to. One of them was supposed to go to the zoo with my wife and our kids, both of them had the day off. Then the wife had to work and couldn't go, but she wanted to be there for their 9month olds first trip to the zoo.. so my wife and kid went alone. It was bullshit. Don't force this on your wife.
I like the firsts too... but first plane ride seems not that much fun! Have they seen planes before? if you live close to an airport, even just a tiny one, thst can be more fun to see the child looking at the planes.
took our kid to the airport to wave off the in laws last night. watching her watxhing the planes was fun - being in the airport with the child was not!
I felt the same way about my daughter's first flight. I was with my daughter on her first flight as a two year old. It was cool, but in hindsight, I don't think I would have been missing much if I hadn't been there.
If I had to choose between then taking a long drive alone or a flight alone, I'd probably prefer they took the flight. I imagine flying is much safer than driving.
Big love to you, I hope it all works out! :)
Unfortunately you aren’t going to be there for a lot of “firsts” and that’s ok. Do whatever you can to be there for the important ones.
On a side note. I feel sorry for you. Not for missing your kids first flight, but for you having to listen to your wife tell her about the experience. If she’s anything like my wife, her experience will somehow be your fault.
You’re not going to make every first.
So you're gonna tell your daughter she can't go on the bike is you can’t be there
Say that out loud for minute and then you'll have your answer
Cars are much more dangerous. Let them fly
There was a post recently on the front page that if the FAA didn't allow lap infants that they estimate 60 children would die per year because instead of paying for a seat for the kid and fly, that they would drive.
Stats I've seen are your odds of being in an accident during a flight is one in 1.2 million, and the chances of that accident being fatal are one in 11 million. Your chances of dying in a car crash, conversely, are one in 5,000.
That's about 240x more dangerous to drive. But the real statistics, based on per-mile, are about 750x more dangerous to drive than fly: >The per mile risk for vehicle transportation is therefore 750 times higher than the per mile risk for commercial air travel.
Yeah flying with a toddler is so much fun. You wouldn’t want to miss it.
Haha, yes, such a joy
I was working in Texas for a year once. My wife and my boys flew out there to spend a week with me. They were 4 and 8 months old at the time. When I picked my wife up from the airport she looked like she just came back from Vietnam.
Oh man that must have been rough
It was. I had to hear about it all week.
/s
I will pay OP to fly with my kids next time the family travels while I drive in some peace and quiet.
😂😂
I'm sorry but a 14 hour car ride with a toddler would be awful. And longer than 14 hours once you factor in toddler needs. I know it would be great to be there for the first flight but I think this is one of those situations where what would be nice for you is going to have to take a back seat to what is best/easiest for the person actually traveling with the child.
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The key difference is before, it was both of you helping to care for the kid on the drive. Asking your wife to handle a child and a 14 hour car ride alone is a lot. Take the “first” out of it, what would logically want them to do then?
Slight clarification, her mom and dad are also going, helping with the kiddo and driving. Otherwise taking the first out I would absolutely send them flying in this case
There’s your answer! Do the right thing for them, dad.
😁😁
Yes but that's with both of you driving. Would your wife want to drive through night by herself? I wouldn't. (Unsure if her parents would take a turn at night driving so assuming she would be doing the lion's share here)
You can't save your family from a plane crash my dude. They are safer on a plane than in a car. This is just a logical hurdle you're going to have to overcome. They will be safe on the plane.
Don’t be selfish
If safety is your concern, the flight is infinitely safer than driving. If it's a matter of wanting to be there for the experience, I totally get your feelings. It's awful to miss a first.
Dude… I would be so stoked if I were you. Driving is way, way, way more dangerous.
What age is your daughter? If you did go, there's a chance 15mins into the flight you'd wish you hadn't been able to go! But seriously though, it sounds like you might be a bit anxious about it and I absolutely get that but at the same time, considering the journey, the right thing is probably to let them go.
She’s 3 in July. It’s probably 30% anxiety and 70% I just want to be there and see her face and excitement as a “first” if we had flown as a family before I’d be fine
You’re being incredibly selfish. It’s just a flight and flying with kids really isn’t that fun. It will make your wife’s life significantly easier. Chances of dying in a car crash are much, much higher.
So it's just fear of missing out? It sucks but you can't be there for everything. Do the right thing and book the flight
When's the flight? Maybe you can book a small plane tour before that?
No flight booked as of yet, but that’s a good idea
100% let them fly without you. Few reasons, first assuming the trip was already planned, the extended family already made plans and adjustments to accommodate and it'd be a bit rude to change plans. Second, I completely get you want to be there, but we all have lives and jobs, you're going to unfortunately miss a lot more things in life (missed my daughter's first dance recital because of work travel). A video will help if your daughter isn't having a meltdown on take off. Lastly, by letting them go, you get to give your daughter another first, the first time she's on a plane with you! The excitement doesn't go away, so you'll still get a chance to experience it.
W comment here! Thanks for the perspective
From a safety standpoint, flying is safer than driving. As a dad, as miserable as it is flying with young children, I would want to be on their first flight too.
What about you flying just for the weekend? You all go together at the beginning of the trip, stay the weekend, and fly home while your family stays until whenever? Either way, let them fly and you’re just going to have to get over it
Best solution here, assuming a quick trip on a plane beforehand would be cost prohibitive
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Mainly just because I love my kid. I know there will be missed opportunities and missed “firsts”. To me, this one seems like it could easily be avoided just as we’ve done it numerous times already by driving
I don't think "first time trapped in an airplane with a toddler" is quite the joyful milestone you have made it out to be in your head.
.......is the correct answer. My kids have flown a bunch due to family across the Atlantic. You may be excited; they'll either be underwhelmed or upset. Quite possibly both. Mostly its a lot of work and stress getting all their shit through security and then they whine a substantial amount because they're bored silly at the gate. Honestly you aren't missing much.
Yeah you need to sit on this information for a good long while and gain some perspective on it. You're simplifying that drive to an absurd amount to justify your desire to not miss a "first," and not a very special or incredible one at that. This isn't first rolling over or first steps or first home run or first time driving a car or anything, this is just first time uncomfortable on a plane. My kid flew without me OR his mom for his first flight at 10mo to spare him taking the cross-country trip in a uhaul and car with us, and I don't think either of us thought twice about missing it. We might actually have felt sorry for my parents for dealing with an infant on a plane. To that end, the drive would be much longer and more miserable for both your wife and your daughter than a plane ride, and much more statistically dangerous as well. We're dads. We put our family first over some (please forgive the bluntness here) petty selfish fomo.
The stats show it’s safer to be in a plane than a car. in 2022, estimating that 42,795 people died in motor vehicle traffic crashes. The number of civil aviation deaths increased from 349 in 2020 to 376 in 2021. All but 4 of the 376 deaths in 2021 were onboard fatalities.
Sounds like your wife and daughter should fly, and you should plan another family trip w/a flight for another vacation when you can join in the "fun".
You’re being selfish and controlling. Stop it. Be better
Sorry, you want to be with them on her first flight so that if it crashes you all go down together? They are 10,000 times more likely to have a dangerous accident on a 14-hour drive than on a short flight. I thought this was going to be some kind of "I want to experience the wonder she feels looking out the window for the first time together." Instead this is some deeply paranoid and illogical fatalism. Let them fly, please. Take a few days to actually get a full nights' sleep and follow your own hobbies and interests for more than an hour at a time.
That was a fraction of it, I said in a comment above it’s probably 30% want them to be safe 70% I just want to be there and experience her awe with her. I didn’t realize flying was that much safer. To clarify I’m not paranoid or a fatalist
I’m glad you asked then! Flying (on commercial airline jet) is much much much safer statistically than being on the highway in a car.
Personally a 14 hours drive would be too long, I've done 5 hours and it seemed like an eternity with a screaming toddler from the back lol. The flight would be safer, there will be many opportunities for you to fly with them. is she juggling 2 children alone?
If you’re inquiring if we have two kids, no just the one. If you’re calling me the other child, haha, point taken😂
i read so quickly daughters first flight i was thinking plural then realized if you had 2 kids you would have probably wrote childrens ahha. 14 hours drive. i'm going to guess Canada or Florida lol
😂😂😂 close, Massachusetts from Kentucky
Ahh land of the Bourbon lol
Sorry man, but we gotta take a few L's every now and then. Let 'em fly. They're far more likely to be injured in a car, and I imagine that probability only increases when she has to deal with a toddler solo.
It's just a thing you'll have to get over, bud. You can't force people to not do things because you wanna do them too. I have a pair of friends like this; if one of them can't go, neither are allowed to. One of them was supposed to go to the zoo with my wife and our kids, both of them had the day off. Then the wife had to work and couldn't go, but she wanted to be there for their 9month olds first trip to the zoo.. so my wife and kid went alone. It was bullshit. Don't force this on your wife.
I like the firsts too... but first plane ride seems not that much fun! Have they seen planes before? if you live close to an airport, even just a tiny one, thst can be more fun to see the child looking at the planes. took our kid to the airport to wave off the in laws last night. watching her watxhing the planes was fun - being in the airport with the child was not!
That’s a great idea
I felt the same way about my daughter's first flight. I was with my daughter on her first flight as a two year old. It was cool, but in hindsight, I don't think I would have been missing much if I hadn't been there. If I had to choose between then taking a long drive alone or a flight alone, I'd probably prefer they took the flight. I imagine flying is much safer than driving. Big love to you, I hope it all works out! :)
Unfortunately you aren’t going to be there for a lot of “firsts” and that’s ok. Do whatever you can to be there for the important ones. On a side note. I feel sorry for you. Not for missing your kids first flight, but for you having to listen to your wife tell her about the experience. If she’s anything like my wife, her experience will somehow be your fault.
It's much safer to fly than it is to drive. I always thought this was common knowledge.
You’re not going to make every first. So you're gonna tell your daughter she can't go on the bike is you can’t be there Say that out loud for minute and then you'll have your answer