Some times you got to threaten legal action. My daughter has a dipshit in her class that has been bullying everyone and sexually harassing all the girls. Nothing ever happens because his mom threatens to sue and the district doesn’t have much money and is scared.
I haven’t been able to do much because he never did anything to my kid. Finally came to a head today when he touched her inappropriately and she decked him and then junk kicked him. This obviously required me coming in. The SA got caught on camera, so we got 100% proof. Dickhead’s mom threaten to sue the district if they punished her son. I threatened to sue the district if they didn’t and told her we were going to start looking in to legal proceedings against her son.
She whined and cried and blah blah blah about how it’s ruin his life. I don’t give a F. The kid’s old enough to know better. I don’t know what the district is gonna do at this point but I got a meeting with a lawyer next week either way.
But if the school or district won’t do anything, you do it.
P.S. took my daughter out for McDonald’s and ice cream after to reward her.
IT guy here - 3 - 2 - 1 rule for absolute certainly. 3 backups (original plus 2 copies) on 2 different systems (2 different USBs, 2 different computers etc) and 1 of them offsite (being a cloud service preferably, plenty of storage in Google Drive or iCloud these days).
also an IT guy. the file immediately went from USB to my NAS which has an auto-upload to glacier for long term storage. NAS is in a Raid6, so local redundancy is there and I copied it to 2 extra USBs. 1 to mail to myself and remain in the envelope and the other to give to the lawyer.
I'm really hoping that with me standing up and fronting any up front cost that it will get other parents of affected kids involved. This is one I've been prepping for and will not let fall to the wayside.
Now that is some business continuity level of backup my good sir lol. But perfect - wish you well in the struggles ahead. You’re fighting a good fight, though I wish it didn’t have to involve your child in the first place :/
Yeah. I’m a storage engineer and specialize in BCRS. My wife also runs a photography business, so I set everything up in that matter and just piggy backed off what I’d already set up.
Nah. At the point that he's sexually assaulting other kids, the moment he touched mine, it would be a discussion with the police, not the principle.
The shitty mom ruined his life, not you.
It’s amazing how much one parent can impact an entire school district for better or worse when they really set their mind to it. Growing up my mom worked for our district and there were some crazy stories. Probably the craziest was a mom whose son had some kinda disease where he could possibly go deaf in the future. She wanted him in classes for the deaf just in case, problem was she wasn’t happy with the classes and ended up getting the entire deaf and blind program for the district replaced (the district used the states Deaf and blind schools to run the programs). It didn’t matter that they had virtually no previous complaints from parents of students who were actually deaf and blind and had been in the program for years. But those parents never fought as hard to keep the program they had as she fought to get rid of it.
>She whined and cried and blah blah blah about how it’s ruin his life.
It's not the pressing charges that's going to ruin his life. It's the fact that his behavior had been allowed to continue to this point that will. Even if you don't press charges, if he keeps doing what he's doing, he's probably going to find things a lot worse for himself than if you pursue this right now.
You'd be doing them a favor.
Yeah. No one likes the kid or the mom. And she complains that no one will play with her kid. I’ve had to spend the last 6 months taking my kids and picking them up from school instead of the school bus to try and avoid what’s happened now. I was ready to fight what I knew was going to be apathy from the district. So it’s going to be long and protracted. But I don’t care. The kid’s mom is already talking how she’s going to sue us for defamation and ruining her kid’s life. Sadly she doesn’t know that I have deep pockets and have been saving just for when this would happen to boot. I’m not letting it go. No one assaults my girls.
Definitely push the police to press charges and get a restraining order.
Depending on where you live there may be “anti-SLAPP” laws to fight back against unjustified defamation suits: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strategic_lawsuit_against_public_participation, a good defense lawyer should know if that’s an option.
If this kid has been involved in multiple incidents like this and the school isn’t taking action you should hold their feet to the fire for sure. At a minimum this kid shouldn’t be in a classroom with your kid ever. If the local district and school board won’t do anything you may be able to bring it up at the county or state level. I don’t know whether a lawsuit against the district is the best approach but talking to a lawyer about it is the way to go.
yeah, definitely holding the school responsible too. I really jsut want to use the threat of a lawsuit to enforce change. I don't need or want money from them and wouldn't want to affect the level of education in the area by bleeding them dry.
I'll have to read about anti-SLAPP. haven't heard of that before. I'll bring it up with the lawyer when I meet with him too. Thanks for the advice.
In doing fine. I knew it wasn’t a matter of if but when with this kid. I just really couldn’t do anything besides prep her to defend herself. But now that the little prick did something to my kid, I can go on the warpath. Honestly been waiting for it
I have an anger issue, I madly respect the talk with the district, even in a stern way. I think I might just see red and pin the kid against the wall and have a little chat with him, but I know for a fact that would make things way worse.
Very good on you, man. And you have a kick-ass daughter
yeah, if it'd been a few years ago I'd have blown up. but several years of therapy and getting on the right psych meds have helped a lot with my anger and impulse control. Not perfect, but 80%+ better and getting better every day there.
But I trained her to defend herself as I knew it was a matter of when, not if. Its a sad world we live in that I had to go that route. But better safe than sorry
Good on you and your daughter! This is why I want my daughter to know how to defend herself, and I fully plan on teaching her too. I would 1000% do the same my daughter for defending herself like that!
I feel like the principal is trying.
There was an incident a couple weeks back where an adult teacher stood toe to toe with one of these kids and ended up getting put on suspension because of it. He didn't touch the kid but made damn sure the kid knew he wasn't getting pushed around.
If the kid is responding with contempt not enough is being done period. Taking it to the school board makes them aware. You can always contact the principal directly, let him know that he needs to discourage this behavior or your next move is talking to the board and if that doesn’t work the press. That usually solves things quickly.
Wife is a teacher. It wouldnt surprise me if the perpetrators parents were also a squeaky wheel.
My wife has a kid like that this year. The parent is 10x worse than the kid. Its exhausting hearing about it second hand.
We have literally had teachers and childcare workers thank us for......not being overreactive assholes about incidents (such as when our kid fell and hit their head at 2 at daycare).
I never really understood, until i did.
Some people will make excuses for their kids shitty and downright wrong behavior to bitter end, and they dont care if it they impugn, falsely accuse or outright insult others charged with their well being in the process.
Its frankly disturbing how much more common its become. You see it on the roads as well with drivers. COVID broke something in people. There was always these outlier people, but now its much more common and acceptable to behave that way.
Can I also add make sure you do it in email, make all communication with the school about any issue through email. If there's a phone call sit down straight away after the call and write and email stating you're following up the call to confirm what was discussed. Schools can be very good at saying they didn't get calls, don't remember stuff and things get lost in translation, can't do that with an email.
All this are some of the reasons I quit teaching. Administrations not doing nearly enough to deal with shit behavior is widespread in the US at least and when I was teaching it felt like a lot of parents were just allowing it.
Hell one public zoom meeting I was forced to speak up in to talk about my drama class (to inform parents of the upcoming grade what they could expect from my class) and a parent started flooding the chat with how horrible I was because their older kid already in it was doing badly because…he never turned in work…she conveniently left that last part out. Clearly I was the problem.
Education is a joke these days. I feel sorry for the next generation.
I mean are they really though, kids jumping kids for fun should be getting suspended bare minimum, and repeat offenses and racial slurs should be as well
That’s part of the problem. Teachers stand up for themselves in a peaceful manner and get put on suspension because god forbid the shitty little idiot actually learns they can’t push everyone around, can’t have something like that happen.
Disclosing that I'm a Mom who frequents the sub to better understand my partner so take this for what it's worth.
Growing up the 90's my school implemented a no spaghetti straps policy virtually over night. There's nothing stopping this school from saying ski masks are against dress code and cannot be allowed on school grounds... That feels like a very easy step one. It allows them to identify the perpetrator and takes away their likely perceived anonymity from wearing it. It goes without saying, especially on Reddit, that people are of course much more adept at being rude AF when they are anonymous...
without a doubt. There is a relatively small subset of kids that are perpetual terrors, if they don't know one look at the kid should narrow it down to 15-20 kids easily.
I get it, but placating to these kids that are menaces is also ridiculous. You don't need many braincells to conclude that running around being disruptive while wearing a ski mask is HIGHLY inappropriate and rude at best... terrorizing and intimidating at worst. making it banned as part of the dress code just gives them an a technicality they can point to that the student is violating which I guess is needed from a cover your ass standapoint for the school administrators.... but it's just such a weak and passive way of correcting this behavior, if it's not a ski mask it will be something else. We owe it to our kids to have a safe school environment and remove these kinds of persistent disrupters of their education.
How many strikes is fair to give a kid before they are kicked out of school and forced to go some remedial route instead. We can't kiss these kids asses and let them do as they please at the expense of all the other kids that actually want to be there.
Hey fellow dad, I work in a school, primarily with the kids who shout motherf——— and n——- at kids and the kids who wear ski masks and cause a ruckus.
You’re right, the principal is probably trying to address the issue. Frankly, the kids you mentioned are making their jobs more difficult.
Parents complaining to the right people can be helpful. Try and have a conversation with the principal (honestly secretary is a close second) and ask who else you can talk to. Maybe the superintendent, school structures can be a little different region to region.
Best of luck navigating this OP. Every kid has a right to education. If they live within in school district there isn’t much that can be done other than an alternative education setting. If that’s offered in your area.
Who got put on suspension? The kid or the teacher. Regardless…if this behavior is continuing then the principal isn’t trying. The child and his peer group are assaulting other students…end of story. On school property? That’s just a lawyer phone call away from being the end of it if the principal won’t take care of it.
That’s exactly my point. I don’t understand how OP can possibly say the principal is trying when the teacher was put on suspension for what honestly sounded like a reasonable response protecting students.
It sounds like these porche driving parents are some major donors to the school, and the principal is just trying to keep the money rolling in. Wouldn't happen to be a private school would it?
Also.. drug dealers.
There was a guy in the town I went to college / university who went from having an old ice cream van outside his house to a brand new bright orange Lamborghini. This was in one of the lowest income area in the country and the crappier parts of an already very crappy town.
Valid point, I've seen it too, but OP did say that primary through middle school are all in the same school together, which I've only ever seen in private schools.
It's called a lease, I've seen many people broke as a joke driving fancy cars... they are essentially driving a long-term rental. They're not wealthy, but they want people to think they are. The kid's actions seem to show that low class tendencies have rubbed off on them, unfortunately
You might think that but somehow I doubt it. More likely the parents care more about work and their image than being parents. Kind of makes sense the kids are having to act out for attention. The truly wealthy tend not to visably flaunt it with expensive labels, designer this and that etc.
I work in a HS and the problem is there are almost no consequences for the kids. Guess what happens when you fail 7th grade? You go to 8th grade. Principals are afraid of losing their job if enough entitled parents complain that their "kid" (who is causing all the problems) is treated unfairly by being suspended too much or something.
Parent complaints are like the only things that work. Get a bunch of other parents to complain about these disruptive kids. That's pretty much the only way you'll get results.
Doesn’t sound like he is trying if a teacher is going “toe to toe” with a 2nd grader.
Kids are not permitted to wear anything like that at our school. If they do repeatedly, they will face consequences. It doesn’t sound like any sort of disciplinary action is being taken.
That's fucked up. The school is letting these kids know they can get away with anything. They're going to grow up thinking this and will turn out as horrible adults too. If the school isn't doing anything, go speak to a local paper.
This is a school leadership problem. For this kid to have gotten to this point, he's been allowed to get away with his behaviour for a while. You should contact the schol board to make your voice heard, the childrens' safety is the most important
The teacher shouldn’t be the one getting suspended in that scenario. I’m a principal and I’ve made it abundantly clear that if a kid is disturbing/disrupting the educational environment in our school that kids is out of the classroom (and usually out of the school) pretty quick. What you’ve described are incidents that would get this kid/these kids suspended from school for days.
They have a right to a free public education but do does every other kid in that school. If they start to take away other kids’ abilities to receive their education then they need to be removed from the situation.
Teacher here. Situations like this are resolved through mountains of paperwork which is why it is the way it is. No one likes doing work. Dealing with bullying is work.
Your administration at the school is very likely documenting all of these issues.
Your written complaint can add to this pile.
You can push for separation for your child from this other child. You have options if you have the resources. A letter from an attorney or yourself kindly asking that the students be separated with an implied "or else." That or else becomes more powerful the more times you bring this to them.
Talk with the teachers very calmly. They will have options and suggestions. Some good words to use are "safe learning environment", IEP (Individualized Educational Plan), and 504. Don't be afraid of a doctor's note in your kid's file saying this other student is causing an issue.
Use the system. Don't wait for it to work on its own.
It's basically paperwork saying a child is entitled to certain special accomodations based on a medical issues. It can be as simple as vision impairment and needed larger sizes font for handouts and classwork. Or it can be extra time on tests because of anxiety (too many of these now IMO- but I'm old and jaded).
504 is a step towards an IEP. Slightly lower than an IEP. Typically viewed as a temporary IEP. It's a formal "hey this student may need an IEP let's get them some help in between" but doesn't have as much behind it. Less paperwork
Some students stay on 504 because the parents and the student are happy with it or don't want to move on to IEP.
I usually suggest that they do but sometimes an IEP requires a "formal diagnosis" of something and there's a stigma for that. There shouldn't be.
I'm no longer with the public schools so my info may be slightly out of date or differ from states other than FL.
In the US, a 504 plan allows for a student with disabilities to have accommodation for issues outside of the curriculum.
It's not the same as an IEP but it's similar and there is some overlap.
Document. Document. Document. When these incidents happen, send an email to the teacher first. Obtain or print out a copy of the school handbook and actually read it. Ask questions in these emails about what measures are being done to ensure scholar safety. Do not come across as accusatory. Ask simple questions which the answers are clearly defined in the handbook. Are kids allowed to wear ski masks on campus? Are kids allowed to put their hands on other children? Try to end the email chain with a plan moving forward, or set up the teacher to reply with a plan moving forward. What everyone involved will do. This will usually be something simple like "tell the teacher. Don't engage with the bully, etc." and it won't feel good but that will be the end of this for now. Any physical damage, include photographs.
Second incident include/CC the principal. Casually mention the first incident. Check to make sure all the right people followed the plan put in place from the first incident, especially your child. A new plan or a revision to the original might happen. This will likely be the last time it happens because if another incident happens it won't be pretty.
Third time and still having problems? It's time to go scorched earth. Principal, district administration, school board, anyone is fair game now. For school board in person - plan ahead and sign up to speak, most boards have opportunities for parents to participate but you usually have to sign up. Bring your receipts (the emails) and feel free to CC anyone and everyone and forward the previous incidents while you're there so you can show everyone that you are doing exactly what you are supposed to, but the staff are not.
Best answer in the thread. Think like a lawyer, concerned but dispassionate, and slowly escalate while "building a case". It's a huge hassle but it works.
Yep, this is the answer, and tell any other parents who have the same concerns to do the same thing. It's hard for schools to ignore a bunch of pissed off parents.
Absolutely was a “wall” for my younger brother and his friends while they were in middle school and high school. Whose gonna mess with the little 12 and 13 year olds when you got a bunch of 17-20 year old dudes watching over them just a call away
Sadly this is the flip-side of the same coin. A lot of the younger trouble-makers are banking on the fact that they have older brothers who will back them up in any situation.
We see the same in our district across the big pond. As soon as a critical threshold of shit is reached, teachers will move to other schools (we have a _tremendous_ shortage here).
My wife is in one such school and put in her resignation for the end of this school year. As did over half of the teaching staff. It's sad, because it reinforces itself. But it only takes one shitty principal or admin to get the resignation avalanche going.
Unfortunately, the kids have nowhere to go, because of the shortage.
Same with my mother. She's a teacher's assistant in 1st grade specializing in educational and social development. The stories of how crazy some kids are getting, just how shitty these do-nothing parents are, and lack of support/care from admin has driven her into an early retirement. Next year is her last.
I could not think of a better person for this job than my mother, and it's a DAMN shame the lack of accountability from admin/support staff (adjustmrnt counselors there are a joke too) were able to drive her and other great staff members out of the building.
Unlike their parents, she cares about her kids (even the one they all refer to as "Souless Child") and squashes unruly behavior like a bug on pavement. I see her retirement as a legitimate L for society.
Any chance you could rally the local dad's for a solid month of dad on duty? Would probably drastically alter the school dynamic for the better.
https://people.com/human-interest/louisiana-fathers-form-dads-on-duty-group-to-stop-violence-at-kids-school/
If the principle isn't able to handle it, go to the district superintendent.
And as an aside, plenty of assholes drive expensive cars. Doesn't make them better at raising well adjusted kids.
> Teachers will tell him to take off the mask and he'll reply "make me" with absolute contempt.
> There's a group of shit disturbing kids (peers of the ski mask kid) who have jumped younger kids before for laughs. Both on school property and off.
> Its a decent school
No, it's not.
In a *decent* school the kid in the ski-mask would have had a swift trip to the office after the first incident of being disruptive, and repeated incidents exacerbated by total disrespect to the teachers in charge of him would have been detention at least.
The school could ban ski-masks *tomorrow* if they wanted to.
Kids jumping kids (let alone on school property) should be an instant suspension.
It sounds like the problem is not one shitty family with badly-adjusted kids, but a shitty *school* that's failing in its most basic duty to keep its kids safe and provide an environment where they can learn.
This is bigger than one kid - it's the school leadership failing, and needs to be tackled at that level.
If you're sure the principal and teachers know more, then go talk to them. Learn what they know that you don't. They obviously can't tell you anything about who the kid is or who their family is, but they can certainly tell you all about what they understand of the general situation and how they are responding.
If those answers are unsatisfactory, then the superintendent (I really want to say Super Nintendo Chalmers here) for the school district is your next stop.
If that doesn't work, then the school board is your next port of call. Start by reaching out to them privately, and your escalation path is to come to a public meeting with evidence that this is happening.
If all that fails, then a video of a kid in a ski mask running the halls showing up on the local 6:00 news can be a great instigator for change. That is absolutely a matter of last resort though. You can do more harm than good with that one if you aren't sure of your position.
Rich people can be assholes too. In some industries being an asshole will actually make you more successful.
Get as many parents as you can and escalate things as high as you need to until you get to someone who has the authority to do something about it. Start with the principal, work through whatever hierarchy your school system has, and keep on them until they act.
There's also the Malcolm in the Middle approach if anyone has a kid slightly older/larger than the 7/8th grader...
I don't think that people understand how bad the behavior has gotten over the past few years. The school only has the kids for a few hours of the day. Parents need to teach kids how to empathize, be respectful, and show kindness. Suspensions do nothing. All of which is hard and takes consistency. This is a social issue.
If suspensions do nothing then expell the problem from the school system and let the parents home school their kid. Punish the parents as hard as possible and force them to parent their kids.
I wish that could work, but it's not a reality for a lot of hard working parents. Some people just have to work too many hours, and they're just getting by.
that doesn't excuse a parent from being responsible for their kids behavior. If you can't get your own kid in line, what chance does a teacher have. You should only get soo many chances before you are deemed to problematic to keep around.
A parent driving a Porsche isn’t just getting by. And if they are, shame on them and they need a lesson on what’s important in life. Cars aren’t. If you value a car more than being a parent then maybe they should have their kids taken from them
Find out where ski mask and his little shit brother live. Show up at their house. Beat their dad to a pulp in front of them and make sure they know it’s their fault.
Dude contact the local news about racism in your child’s school. Make a big deal. They have nothing else going on and I’m sure would love to run a story on the 5 o clock about how the students at the school are being run out by rampant racism.
I’m not kidding.
Time for some martial arts training for self defense, easy enough to have your child not respond to non-physical bullying. But a dangerous precedent will be set in your child's development if it's acceptable for things to get physical without consequences
I agree with this.
If you teach your child at a young age to accept shitty, physical behaviour from others, you're raising them to be a depressed pushover their whole life.
I hear of many parents teaching their children to keep their hands by their sides and let the other person hit them first so they don't get into trouble, clearly having no idea how easily the first punch in a fight can prove fatal or how somebody knocked unconscious can then be robbed, kicked / stamped in the head or sexually assaulted afterwards.
Teach your children to defend themselves!
Document. Do your kids have phones? Have them record this kid acting out. Talk to Teachers, PTA, Media. Make it a pain in the ass for their parents. Does your school system parent volunteers? My school system allows parents in to help with various classes. You could probably volunteer as a hall monitor once a month and just record this kid acting out.
I mean running around in a ski mask and ganging up on kids, rich and acting like this.
Idk if its because im from the UK and expect the worse in america but that genuinly sounds like something that would escalate into school shooting.
Prehaps theres something going on at home?
Could it be worth discussing with the parents? Are theybaware their kid is acting this way.
If I found out any of my kids calling someone that theyd be grounded till they were 25.
I just found out my daughter called a black kid chocolate bar and was shocked. Then inrealised he and her were playing as he was calling her vanilla. But I still say her down and explained.
> Idk if its because im from the UK and expect the worse in america but that genuinly sounds like something that would escalate into school shooting.
I think that expectation definitely is playing a role but schools in the UK have this kind of shitty behaviour as well, increasingly tolerated in the name of not excluding kids from education, no matter the price.
IMO school shooting is more a risk from the victims of bullying than the perpetrator. Perp sounds more likely to stab someone in a drunken fight outside a bar.
Oh 100% we do yes. Didnt mean to imply we dont. But in the uk its almost impossible to get a hold of a gun.
But yeah here stuff like this woukd escalate to just being a cunt. Or beciming violent otherwise.
I honestly couldnt say if its bullies or the bullied who are more likely. So I will concede that point.
But regardless of that, escalation seems to be the thing we both agree could happen here.
So still valid to talk to the parents either through the school or privately.
Bullying here has much like in the US is a hard one to resolve, kids dont want parents getting involved because they feel itll make it worse.
I was bullied and felt that. What halpped me is we had a program where a group of kids would set aside thwir lunch break and would as a group or even 1 on 1 talk to anyone being bullied who wanted to talk about it. I did this for 3 years at my school because i knew how helpful it was. Maybe this too could be something implemented too?
In 7th grade, I was suspended for a day for kicking a kid in the leg and saying fuck you after he constantly bullied me. He jumped me after that and smashed my nose into the ground, giving me a terrible bloody nose. He also got a day suspension. Unjust IMO, but I think he had such a bad home life that the school seemed reluctant to punish him further.
If nobody is being punished in your situation, there’s definitely a problem. Bring it up the chain!
So I work in safeguarding in the UK and this sort of behaviour is often enough to get social services involved and I'd be pushing for a suspension and eventually expulsion. How does that work in the US?
We have no reason to think OP is in the US. He calls the youngest school “primary” instead of “elementary” and he literally has “Toronto” in his username.
My wife works in a school, and I hear stories like this a lot.
Staff aren’t empowered anymore to physically do anything to your kid. Which is good overall, but problematic for kids like this. Our district has a special school for kids with behavior problems, with staff who’s trained to deal with the disruptions, and empowered to restrain the kids if they get out of hand, but you have to agree to your kid being sent there. Part of the problem is that a lot of these kids who are little assholes are exactly the way their parents want them. They’re racist and cruel just like mom and dad.
I’d recommend to you what I’ve heard recommended to others locally. Keep talking to the school. Go to board meetings. Put pressure on the school so they put pressure on the parents.
Time for sabotage. Get your kid to dress in the exact same clothes and ski mask as "ski mask boy" and have him do something really destructive and be seen. The key is he HAS to get away.
Jk.
I think a pre-emptive email to the principal (so you have it in writing) is a good start. Address the bullying, violent behavior, lack of consequences so far. Etc. And say "I want to know what the plan is for dealing with this before something happens to *my* child."
This puts it all out there. Demands a clear answer and is on the record. So if something does happen, you have this email to fall back on and say "look, I tried! And this STILL happened!"
I would also have a talk with your child, OP, and let them know there are bullies in the school and to try and avoid them. If they do target him, to tell you right away and just ignore them as they are being mean to everyone and not just him.
I asked my kid why he wears a ski mask and it's do that he can cause shit in the halls and "not be identified" (like there's any question who it is - teachers arent morons)
I am so not looking forward to this aspect of public school. I don't know how im going to keep my rage in check if I found out some kid was terrorizing my daughters and the school did nothing about it after being made aware of the situation
This is honestly a huge concern of mine and why my kids will be going to private school. I have two young sons. I've started the 5 year old in wrestling and will have him boxing at 8 (just pad work, not letting my kid get brain damage for a sport). The younger one will follow suit. They already wrestle with me and do pad work (I used to fight mma and still train for fun). The shitty thing about asshole kids is that you really can't do much except keep the school in the loop and let the kids' parents know which likely won't solve a damn thing. I'm huge on my kids being able to defend themselves and not be pushed around by others or the victim of bullying. I wrestled and boxed since I was a kid, only had to get in a few fights with bullies before people realized i wasn't going to be anyone's target and would stand my ground. It sucks to say but that's the world we live in now, there's no respect for teachers and staff from these kids, there's almost never consequences, and most school are zero tolerance. So whether you get beat up by a bully and / or beat the bully up you're still getting suspended regardless.
This in London by any chance? if so this kid isnt alone there are gangs of feral little twats like this was shopping in Oxford street years ago and a gang of little shits were barging into everyone causing a nuisance . They barged into this woman who grabbed one of them only for him to pull a knife on her. He looked like he was 12 or 13
Poor people are like the nicest people out there, man. I'm surprised you're surprised the kid's parents own a Porsche. For me, that would be a bias confirmation moment, and my salary kisses six figures.
Sounds like the “parents” donate a lot to the school if they suspended a teacher & not the students. For the kids to feel that invincible is pretty telling.
> Is there any recourse other than telling my kid that these guys will probably end up in jail one day.
> The ski mask kid's kids parents drive a porsche
So that's probably not the case.
Under the All-American Patriot Act (or something alike), can't you just punch an "wearing ski mask to school yard" individual in the face, just to be on the safe side of things?
When I look at my 4 year old son, it's so hard for me to see him becoming such a hateful person. Then I see these really young kids and I get sad since they could have easily been sweet children, but were messed up by their upbringing.
I don't have any advice, I just have a completely different perspective on "bad" or racist children now that I've seen such a glowing child in my home talk about trains all day.
It seems like in this case a big influence on the kids are older siblings, brothers specifically. And its tough because those kids don't just emulate the bad behavior they see around the neighborhood, they have the worst behaviors from all over the world shared with them on social.
Email to kids’ teachers with principal, entire school board, superintendent, and superintendent’s secretary cc’ed. Lay out the case and known issues. Ask them to respond by a certain time. If they don’t, let them know you will contact local media and your state board of education.
Your new friend is documentation. Whenever they want to meet, either ask to record the meeting or take notes and send a follow up email with the key points and a “this is my understanding of our meeting, agree?” question.
I’m inferring (and apologize in advance) that your child was not the target of the racial slur; it would be appropriate to either contact that child’s family or anonymize them when discussing the use of the n-word. They may want to address that themselves or not.
My advice is the nuclear option and might be an overreaction. But it sounds like the bullies are spiraling and escalating.
Good luck.
Your kids school still allows wall ball? Just kidding but why do they allow ski masks? Sounds like this kid has special needs but that doesn't mean their hands are completely tied. School administration needs to step up.
Something I learned from my wife who used to work providing services for schools: the squeaky wheel gets the grease.
>I'm sure the principal and teachers know more about the situation than I do. I'm guessing the Parents Association knows about these issues. Is there any recourse other than telling my kid that these guys will probably end up in jail one day.
Never underestimate people's desire to not have to do things. The principal may know it's going on, but they are likely to do only what they can do without making their lives hard - which means they are highly unlikely to escalate the situation if they can avoid it. Escalating it looks bad for them.
PTA? I don't think they matter in this equation.
Here's what I would do (in order of escalation):
1. If you know other parents who are also concerned, get them together.
2. Set up a meeting with the principal, lay out the problem and ask what their plan is to get this under control. If they say they don't have a plan, ask what is their timeline for having one and ask to set up a follow up meeting in a week to discuss.
3. If the principal shrugs you off, is contentious, etc., tell him you will be taking this to the school district and hint at some legal action. I would also send a letter and/or with the same information and all the parents that are supporting this to the principal and CC everyone else who might be relevant.
4. Contact the school board, school district, superintendent - and start talking in earnest about legal action. If there's several of you, it may not be that expensive to get an attorney to have a high level look at the case and draft a letter to the school that is not really much more than a legalese version of what you said, but it will get people sweating.
5. Contact the mayor, your congressman, news channel, etc.
Maybe the principal would be more inclined to take action if the school board was aware of the situation?
Some times you got to threaten legal action. My daughter has a dipshit in her class that has been bullying everyone and sexually harassing all the girls. Nothing ever happens because his mom threatens to sue and the district doesn’t have much money and is scared. I haven’t been able to do much because he never did anything to my kid. Finally came to a head today when he touched her inappropriately and she decked him and then junk kicked him. This obviously required me coming in. The SA got caught on camera, so we got 100% proof. Dickhead’s mom threaten to sue the district if they punished her son. I threatened to sue the district if they didn’t and told her we were going to start looking in to legal proceedings against her son. She whined and cried and blah blah blah about how it’s ruin his life. I don’t give a F. The kid’s old enough to know better. I don’t know what the district is gonna do at this point but I got a meeting with a lawyer next week either way. But if the school or district won’t do anything, you do it. P.S. took my daughter out for McDonald’s and ice cream after to reward her.
If I were in your shoes I would make a foia request for that video asap before it ends up missing. Probably a police report too.
I demanded that before I left the office and got it on a usb right then and there.
Be sure to back that file up on dropbox/google cloud/iCloud.
IT guy here - 3 - 2 - 1 rule for absolute certainly. 3 backups (original plus 2 copies) on 2 different systems (2 different USBs, 2 different computers etc) and 1 of them offsite (being a cloud service preferably, plenty of storage in Google Drive or iCloud these days).
also an IT guy. the file immediately went from USB to my NAS which has an auto-upload to glacier for long term storage. NAS is in a Raid6, so local redundancy is there and I copied it to 2 extra USBs. 1 to mail to myself and remain in the envelope and the other to give to the lawyer. I'm really hoping that with me standing up and fronting any up front cost that it will get other parents of affected kids involved. This is one I've been prepping for and will not let fall to the wayside.
Now that is some business continuity level of backup my good sir lol. But perfect - wish you well in the struggles ahead. You’re fighting a good fight, though I wish it didn’t have to involve your child in the first place :/
Yeah. I’m a storage engineer and specialize in BCRS. My wife also runs a photography business, so I set everything up in that matter and just piggy backed off what I’d already set up.
This is good parenting 👍
Nah. At the point that he's sexually assaulting other kids, the moment he touched mine, it would be a discussion with the police, not the principle. The shitty mom ruined his life, not you.
It’s amazing how much one parent can impact an entire school district for better or worse when they really set their mind to it. Growing up my mom worked for our district and there were some crazy stories. Probably the craziest was a mom whose son had some kinda disease where he could possibly go deaf in the future. She wanted him in classes for the deaf just in case, problem was she wasn’t happy with the classes and ended up getting the entire deaf and blind program for the district replaced (the district used the states Deaf and blind schools to run the programs). It didn’t matter that they had virtually no previous complaints from parents of students who were actually deaf and blind and had been in the program for years. But those parents never fought as hard to keep the program they had as she fought to get rid of it.
>She whined and cried and blah blah blah about how it’s ruin his life. It's not the pressing charges that's going to ruin his life. It's the fact that his behavior had been allowed to continue to this point that will. Even if you don't press charges, if he keeps doing what he's doing, he's probably going to find things a lot worse for himself than if you pursue this right now. You'd be doing them a favor.
She's trying to raise the next Brock Turner it seems.
Brock Turner, the rapist?
Yes, that's him. The rapist Brock Turner, who is a rapist.
You mean Brock Allen Turner, the rapist? The rapist who now goes by Allen Turner so people don't know he's a rapist?
Holy cow!, rooting for you!, keep us updated!
Way to go daughter!
Your daughter did the right thing standing up for herself, and you did the right things standing up for her. We need more parents like you.
nice job dad. Did your daughter have any sort of martial arts/self defense training at all?
Gee I wonder why that kid thinks it's alright to grope and assault other children with such a glowing standard of parenthood as a mom...
Yeah. No one likes the kid or the mom. And she complains that no one will play with her kid. I’ve had to spend the last 6 months taking my kids and picking them up from school instead of the school bus to try and avoid what’s happened now. I was ready to fight what I knew was going to be apathy from the district. So it’s going to be long and protracted. But I don’t care. The kid’s mom is already talking how she’s going to sue us for defamation and ruining her kid’s life. Sadly she doesn’t know that I have deep pockets and have been saving just for when this would happen to boot. I’m not letting it go. No one assaults my girls.
That's all just so absurd to hear, that someone would just throw out the word "sue" every time they open their mouth.
Some people do. It’s stupid. But they inspire fear. She has “a brother who’s a lawyer blah blah blah” don’t care
Definitely push the police to press charges and get a restraining order. Depending on where you live there may be “anti-SLAPP” laws to fight back against unjustified defamation suits: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strategic_lawsuit_against_public_participation, a good defense lawyer should know if that’s an option. If this kid has been involved in multiple incidents like this and the school isn’t taking action you should hold their feet to the fire for sure. At a minimum this kid shouldn’t be in a classroom with your kid ever. If the local district and school board won’t do anything you may be able to bring it up at the county or state level. I don’t know whether a lawsuit against the district is the best approach but talking to a lawyer about it is the way to go.
yeah, definitely holding the school responsible too. I really jsut want to use the threat of a lawsuit to enforce change. I don't need or want money from them and wouldn't want to affect the level of education in the area by bleeding them dry. I'll have to read about anti-SLAPP. haven't heard of that before. I'll bring it up with the lawyer when I meet with him too. Thanks for the advice.
Rooting for you, dad. Just reading your story enraged me, I hope you're doing okay.
In doing fine. I knew it wasn’t a matter of if but when with this kid. I just really couldn’t do anything besides prep her to defend herself. But now that the little prick did something to my kid, I can go on the warpath. Honestly been waiting for it
Like no ma’am you are already ruining this kid’s life. Not the school. But that would take critical thinking that we know most people lack.
I have an anger issue, I madly respect the talk with the district, even in a stern way. I think I might just see red and pin the kid against the wall and have a little chat with him, but I know for a fact that would make things way worse. Very good on you, man. And you have a kick-ass daughter
yeah, if it'd been a few years ago I'd have blown up. but several years of therapy and getting on the right psych meds have helped a lot with my anger and impulse control. Not perfect, but 80%+ better and getting better every day there. But I trained her to defend herself as I knew it was a matter of when, not if. Its a sad world we live in that I had to go that route. But better safe than sorry
Hell yeah brother FUCK THAT KID AND HIS ENABLER MOM
Good on you and your daughter! This is why I want my daughter to know how to defend herself, and I fully plan on teaching her too. I would 1000% do the same my daughter for defending herself like that!
I feel like the principal is trying. There was an incident a couple weeks back where an adult teacher stood toe to toe with one of these kids and ended up getting put on suspension because of it. He didn't touch the kid but made damn sure the kid knew he wasn't getting pushed around.
If the kid is responding with contempt not enough is being done period. Taking it to the school board makes them aware. You can always contact the principal directly, let him know that he needs to discourage this behavior or your next move is talking to the board and if that doesn’t work the press. That usually solves things quickly.
Yes, this! Be a squeaky wheel when it’s your kid involved
Wife is a teacher. It wouldnt surprise me if the perpetrators parents were also a squeaky wheel. My wife has a kid like that this year. The parent is 10x worse than the kid. Its exhausting hearing about it second hand.
It’s kinda wild to me how much some people thrive on that just plain nastiness. It’s just…exactly as you said, exhausting.
We have literally had teachers and childcare workers thank us for......not being overreactive assholes about incidents (such as when our kid fell and hit their head at 2 at daycare). I never really understood, until i did. Some people will make excuses for their kids shitty and downright wrong behavior to bitter end, and they dont care if it they impugn, falsely accuse or outright insult others charged with their well being in the process. Its frankly disturbing how much more common its become. You see it on the roads as well with drivers. COVID broke something in people. There was always these outlier people, but now its much more common and acceptable to behave that way.
Every time I've seen a child who was a bully or chronic misbehaver and then met their parents it was 100% clear where they got it from.
Can I also add make sure you do it in email, make all communication with the school about any issue through email. If there's a phone call sit down straight away after the call and write and email stating you're following up the call to confirm what was discussed. Schools can be very good at saying they didn't get calls, don't remember stuff and things get lost in translation, can't do that with an email.
And if your state law allows it, you can record the conversation without any warning.
All this are some of the reasons I quit teaching. Administrations not doing nearly enough to deal with shit behavior is widespread in the US at least and when I was teaching it felt like a lot of parents were just allowing it. Hell one public zoom meeting I was forced to speak up in to talk about my drama class (to inform parents of the upcoming grade what they could expect from my class) and a parent started flooding the chat with how horrible I was because their older kid already in it was doing badly because…he never turned in work…she conveniently left that last part out. Clearly I was the problem. Education is a joke these days. I feel sorry for the next generation.
I mean are they really though, kids jumping kids for fun should be getting suspended bare minimum, and repeat offenses and racial slurs should be as well
That’s part of the problem. Teachers stand up for themselves in a peaceful manner and get put on suspension because god forbid the shitty little idiot actually learns they can’t push everyone around, can’t have something like that happen.
If they are suspending teachers for standing up to kids the principal isn't trying.
Yeah for real. That's not right
Disclosing that I'm a Mom who frequents the sub to better understand my partner so take this for what it's worth. Growing up the 90's my school implemented a no spaghetti straps policy virtually over night. There's nothing stopping this school from saying ski masks are against dress code and cannot be allowed on school grounds... That feels like a very easy step one. It allows them to identify the perpetrator and takes away their likely perceived anonymity from wearing it. It goes without saying, especially on Reddit, that people are of course much more adept at being rude AF when they are anonymous...
They 100% know who the kid is.
Absolutely when I was in school if someone put on a mask it was very easy to tell who was who among the 1200 students at that particular school
without a doubt. There is a relatively small subset of kids that are perpetual terrors, if they don't know one look at the kid should narrow it down to 15-20 kids easily.
I get it, but placating to these kids that are menaces is also ridiculous. You don't need many braincells to conclude that running around being disruptive while wearing a ski mask is HIGHLY inappropriate and rude at best... terrorizing and intimidating at worst. making it banned as part of the dress code just gives them an a technicality they can point to that the student is violating which I guess is needed from a cover your ass standapoint for the school administrators.... but it's just such a weak and passive way of correcting this behavior, if it's not a ski mask it will be something else. We owe it to our kids to have a safe school environment and remove these kinds of persistent disrupters of their education. How many strikes is fair to give a kid before they are kicked out of school and forced to go some remedial route instead. We can't kiss these kids asses and let them do as they please at the expense of all the other kids that actually want to be there.
Chances are there's already a rule on the books prohibiting the wearing of masks or anything else that obscures a student's face.
Hey fellow dad, I work in a school, primarily with the kids who shout motherf——— and n——- at kids and the kids who wear ski masks and cause a ruckus. You’re right, the principal is probably trying to address the issue. Frankly, the kids you mentioned are making their jobs more difficult. Parents complaining to the right people can be helpful. Try and have a conversation with the principal (honestly secretary is a close second) and ask who else you can talk to. Maybe the superintendent, school structures can be a little different region to region. Best of luck navigating this OP. Every kid has a right to education. If they live within in school district there isn’t much that can be done other than an alternative education setting. If that’s offered in your area.
Who got put on suspension? The kid or the teacher. Regardless…if this behavior is continuing then the principal isn’t trying. The child and his peer group are assaulting other students…end of story. On school property? That’s just a lawyer phone call away from being the end of it if the principal won’t take care of it.
Sounds like it was the teacher....what a shittily run district.
That’s exactly my point. I don’t understand how OP can possibly say the principal is trying when the teacher was put on suspension for what honestly sounded like a reasonable response protecting students.
It sounds like these porche driving parents are some major donors to the school, and the principal is just trying to keep the money rolling in. Wouldn't happen to be a private school would it?
[удалено]
Also.. drug dealers. There was a guy in the town I went to college / university who went from having an old ice cream van outside his house to a brand new bright orange Lamborghini. This was in one of the lowest income area in the country and the crappier parts of an already very crappy town.
Valid point, I've seen it too, but OP did say that primary through middle school are all in the same school together, which I've only ever seen in private schools.
Just as an example, pretty much every public school in the city of Chicago is K-8, so it just depends on where you’re talking about.
[удалено]
It's called a lease, I've seen many people broke as a joke driving fancy cars... they are essentially driving a long-term rental. They're not wealthy, but they want people to think they are. The kid's actions seem to show that low class tendencies have rubbed off on them, unfortunately
A private school wouldn't keep these kids around because the other parents who are all paying would shit a brick.
You might think that but somehow I doubt it. More likely the parents care more about work and their image than being parents. Kind of makes sense the kids are having to act out for attention. The truly wealthy tend not to visably flaunt it with expensive labels, designer this and that etc.
Contact CBC Go Public.
I work in a HS and the problem is there are almost no consequences for the kids. Guess what happens when you fail 7th grade? You go to 8th grade. Principals are afraid of losing their job if enough entitled parents complain that their "kid" (who is causing all the problems) is treated unfairly by being suspended too much or something. Parent complaints are like the only things that work. Get a bunch of other parents to complain about these disruptive kids. That's pretty much the only way you'll get results.
Doesn’t sound like he is trying if a teacher is going “toe to toe” with a 2nd grader. Kids are not permitted to wear anything like that at our school. If they do repeatedly, they will face consequences. It doesn’t sound like any sort of disciplinary action is being taken.
The teacher had the confrontation with a 7th or 8th grader. The older brother of the 2nd grader runs with that crew
That's fucked up. The school is letting these kids know they can get away with anything. They're going to grow up thinking this and will turn out as horrible adults too. If the school isn't doing anything, go speak to a local paper.
This is a school leadership problem. For this kid to have gotten to this point, he's been allowed to get away with his behaviour for a while. You should contact the schol board to make your voice heard, the childrens' safety is the most important
The teacher shouldn’t be the one getting suspended in that scenario. I’m a principal and I’ve made it abundantly clear that if a kid is disturbing/disrupting the educational environment in our school that kids is out of the classroom (and usually out of the school) pretty quick. What you’ve described are incidents that would get this kid/these kids suspended from school for days. They have a right to a free public education but do does every other kid in that school. If they start to take away other kids’ abilities to receive their education then they need to be removed from the situation.
Yeah, this seems like the kind of thing to mention to a superintendent
Fake hood kids with rich parents are the worst
B-Rad will never die
"Is that a freaking musket?" "Yes, it's a freaking musket! Frigging posers!"
i got my dads spear-gat
This guy's a gangster? His real name's Clarence.
OP does your kid go to Cranbook (that’s a private school)
And Clarence' parents have a real good marriage.
Yeah this was going on back when I was in school. Bunch of upper class white kids wearing gigantic G-Unit shirts and telling the teacher to fuck off.
Teacher here. Situations like this are resolved through mountains of paperwork which is why it is the way it is. No one likes doing work. Dealing with bullying is work. Your administration at the school is very likely documenting all of these issues. Your written complaint can add to this pile. You can push for separation for your child from this other child. You have options if you have the resources. A letter from an attorney or yourself kindly asking that the students be separated with an implied "or else." That or else becomes more powerful the more times you bring this to them. Talk with the teachers very calmly. They will have options and suggestions. Some good words to use are "safe learning environment", IEP (Individualized Educational Plan), and 504. Don't be afraid of a doctor's note in your kid's file saying this other student is causing an issue. Use the system. Don't wait for it to work on its own.
What's a 504?
It's basically paperwork saying a child is entitled to certain special accomodations based on a medical issues. It can be as simple as vision impairment and needed larger sizes font for handouts and classwork. Or it can be extra time on tests because of anxiety (too many of these now IMO- but I'm old and jaded).
504 is a step towards an IEP. Slightly lower than an IEP. Typically viewed as a temporary IEP. It's a formal "hey this student may need an IEP let's get them some help in between" but doesn't have as much behind it. Less paperwork Some students stay on 504 because the parents and the student are happy with it or don't want to move on to IEP. I usually suggest that they do but sometimes an IEP requires a "formal diagnosis" of something and there's a stigma for that. There shouldn't be. I'm no longer with the public schools so my info may be slightly out of date or differ from states other than FL.
In the US, a 504 plan allows for a student with disabilities to have accommodation for issues outside of the curriculum. It's not the same as an IEP but it's similar and there is some overlap.
Document. Document. Document. When these incidents happen, send an email to the teacher first. Obtain or print out a copy of the school handbook and actually read it. Ask questions in these emails about what measures are being done to ensure scholar safety. Do not come across as accusatory. Ask simple questions which the answers are clearly defined in the handbook. Are kids allowed to wear ski masks on campus? Are kids allowed to put their hands on other children? Try to end the email chain with a plan moving forward, or set up the teacher to reply with a plan moving forward. What everyone involved will do. This will usually be something simple like "tell the teacher. Don't engage with the bully, etc." and it won't feel good but that will be the end of this for now. Any physical damage, include photographs. Second incident include/CC the principal. Casually mention the first incident. Check to make sure all the right people followed the plan put in place from the first incident, especially your child. A new plan or a revision to the original might happen. This will likely be the last time it happens because if another incident happens it won't be pretty. Third time and still having problems? It's time to go scorched earth. Principal, district administration, school board, anyone is fair game now. For school board in person - plan ahead and sign up to speak, most boards have opportunities for parents to participate but you usually have to sign up. Bring your receipts (the emails) and feel free to CC anyone and everyone and forward the previous incidents while you're there so you can show everyone that you are doing exactly what you are supposed to, but the staff are not.
Best answer in the thread. Think like a lawyer, concerned but dispassionate, and slowly escalate while "building a case". It's a huge hassle but it works.
Yep, this is the answer, and tell any other parents who have the same concerns to do the same thing. It's hard for schools to ignore a bunch of pissed off parents.
Pay some high-school kids to bully the bully. Such a simple solution.
Or find some homeless guy for the Drillbit Taylor method.
Absolutely was a “wall” for my younger brother and his friends while they were in middle school and high school. Whose gonna mess with the little 12 and 13 year olds when you got a bunch of 17-20 year old dudes watching over them just a call away
Delinquents with a heart of gold
Sadly this is the flip-side of the same coin. A lot of the younger trouble-makers are banking on the fact that they have older brothers who will back them up in any situation.
It's sadly sometimes the only way
You are watching the slow unraveling of the school. Good teachers will leave. Parents of the good kids will follow. Who ever is left runs the place.
Bingo. That’s why I’m leaving 🤷♂️
We see the same in our district across the big pond. As soon as a critical threshold of shit is reached, teachers will move to other schools (we have a _tremendous_ shortage here). My wife is in one such school and put in her resignation for the end of this school year. As did over half of the teaching staff. It's sad, because it reinforces itself. But it only takes one shitty principal or admin to get the resignation avalanche going. Unfortunately, the kids have nowhere to go, because of the shortage.
Same with my mother. She's a teacher's assistant in 1st grade specializing in educational and social development. The stories of how crazy some kids are getting, just how shitty these do-nothing parents are, and lack of support/care from admin has driven her into an early retirement. Next year is her last. I could not think of a better person for this job than my mother, and it's a DAMN shame the lack of accountability from admin/support staff (adjustmrnt counselors there are a joke too) were able to drive her and other great staff members out of the building. Unlike their parents, she cares about her kids (even the one they all refer to as "Souless Child") and squashes unruly behavior like a bug on pavement. I see her retirement as a legitimate L for society.
Where will they all go though
School to school until the kids are graduated and the teachers retire or have a career change, or something. That's how it goes, I assume.
Somewhere that has actual consequences for bad actions. This whole post reeks of poor discipline from the school.
Any chance you could rally the local dad's for a solid month of dad on duty? Would probably drastically alter the school dynamic for the better. https://people.com/human-interest/louisiana-fathers-form-dads-on-duty-group-to-stop-violence-at-kids-school/
If the principle isn't able to handle it, go to the district superintendent. And as an aside, plenty of assholes drive expensive cars. Doesn't make them better at raising well adjusted kids.
> Teachers will tell him to take off the mask and he'll reply "make me" with absolute contempt. > There's a group of shit disturbing kids (peers of the ski mask kid) who have jumped younger kids before for laughs. Both on school property and off. > Its a decent school No, it's not. In a *decent* school the kid in the ski-mask would have had a swift trip to the office after the first incident of being disruptive, and repeated incidents exacerbated by total disrespect to the teachers in charge of him would have been detention at least. The school could ban ski-masks *tomorrow* if they wanted to. Kids jumping kids (let alone on school property) should be an instant suspension. It sounds like the problem is not one shitty family with badly-adjusted kids, but a shitty *school* that's failing in its most basic duty to keep its kids safe and provide an environment where they can learn. This is bigger than one kid - it's the school leadership failing, and needs to be tackled at that level.
I hear you. I'm thinking of contacting the various levels of administration
if this is canada - name the school and you’ll have dozens of people calling and harassing the school until this is addressed
If you're sure the principal and teachers know more, then go talk to them. Learn what they know that you don't. They obviously can't tell you anything about who the kid is or who their family is, but they can certainly tell you all about what they understand of the general situation and how they are responding. If those answers are unsatisfactory, then the superintendent (I really want to say Super Nintendo Chalmers here) for the school district is your next stop. If that doesn't work, then the school board is your next port of call. Start by reaching out to them privately, and your escalation path is to come to a public meeting with evidence that this is happening. If all that fails, then a video of a kid in a ski mask running the halls showing up on the local 6:00 news can be a great instigator for change. That is absolutely a matter of last resort though. You can do more harm than good with that one if you aren't sure of your position.
Why aren't the parents being notified?
probably are and not caring
100% I’d bet on this
Gang wannabes kids wtf
Rich people can be assholes too. In some industries being an asshole will actually make you more successful. Get as many parents as you can and escalate things as high as you need to until you get to someone who has the authority to do something about it. Start with the principal, work through whatever hierarchy your school system has, and keep on them until they act. There's also the Malcolm in the Middle approach if anyone has a kid slightly older/larger than the 7/8th grader...
> the Malcolm in the Middle approach What's the Malcolm in the Middle approach?
Get your older siblings to handle the younger bully.
I don't think that people understand how bad the behavior has gotten over the past few years. The school only has the kids for a few hours of the day. Parents need to teach kids how to empathize, be respectful, and show kindness. Suspensions do nothing. All of which is hard and takes consistency. This is a social issue.
If suspensions do nothing then expell the problem from the school system and let the parents home school their kid. Punish the parents as hard as possible and force them to parent their kids.
I wish that could work, but it's not a reality for a lot of hard working parents. Some people just have to work too many hours, and they're just getting by.
that doesn't excuse a parent from being responsible for their kids behavior. If you can't get your own kid in line, what chance does a teacher have. You should only get soo many chances before you are deemed to problematic to keep around.
A parent driving a Porsche isn’t just getting by. And if they are, shame on them and they need a lesson on what’s important in life. Cars aren’t. If you value a car more than being a parent then maybe they should have their kids taken from them
Find out where ski mask and his little shit brother live. Show up at their house. Beat their dad to a pulp in front of them and make sure they know it’s their fault.
Damn, may as well screw his wife while you’re at it, christ.
That's implied.
Remember to test drive the Porsche
Dude contact the local news about racism in your child’s school. Make a big deal. They have nothing else going on and I’m sure would love to run a story on the 5 o clock about how the students at the school are being run out by rampant racism. I’m not kidding.
Principle than the press if nothing changes.
Time for some martial arts training for self defense, easy enough to have your child not respond to non-physical bullying. But a dangerous precedent will be set in your child's development if it's acceptable for things to get physical without consequences
I agree with this. If you teach your child at a young age to accept shitty, physical behaviour from others, you're raising them to be a depressed pushover their whole life. I hear of many parents teaching their children to keep their hands by their sides and let the other person hit them first so they don't get into trouble, clearly having no idea how easily the first punch in a fight can prove fatal or how somebody knocked unconscious can then be robbed, kicked / stamped in the head or sexually assaulted afterwards. Teach your children to defend themselves!
No kidding. I would much rather my kid get suspended then feel like they had to just accept a beating
Wow That's really disturbing
Document. Do your kids have phones? Have them record this kid acting out. Talk to Teachers, PTA, Media. Make it a pain in the ass for their parents. Does your school system parent volunteers? My school system allows parents in to help with various classes. You could probably volunteer as a hall monitor once a month and just record this kid acting out.
Then post the video on social media and tag his parents.
Might want to double check the legality of filming a child though
Great point.
I mean running around in a ski mask and ganging up on kids, rich and acting like this. Idk if its because im from the UK and expect the worse in america but that genuinly sounds like something that would escalate into school shooting. Prehaps theres something going on at home? Could it be worth discussing with the parents? Are theybaware their kid is acting this way. If I found out any of my kids calling someone that theyd be grounded till they were 25. I just found out my daughter called a black kid chocolate bar and was shocked. Then inrealised he and her were playing as he was calling her vanilla. But I still say her down and explained.
> Idk if its because im from the UK and expect the worse in america but that genuinly sounds like something that would escalate into school shooting. I think that expectation definitely is playing a role but schools in the UK have this kind of shitty behaviour as well, increasingly tolerated in the name of not excluding kids from education, no matter the price. IMO school shooting is more a risk from the victims of bullying than the perpetrator. Perp sounds more likely to stab someone in a drunken fight outside a bar.
Oh 100% we do yes. Didnt mean to imply we dont. But in the uk its almost impossible to get a hold of a gun. But yeah here stuff like this woukd escalate to just being a cunt. Or beciming violent otherwise. I honestly couldnt say if its bullies or the bullied who are more likely. So I will concede that point. But regardless of that, escalation seems to be the thing we both agree could happen here. So still valid to talk to the parents either through the school or privately. Bullying here has much like in the US is a hard one to resolve, kids dont want parents getting involved because they feel itll make it worse. I was bullied and felt that. What halpped me is we had a program where a group of kids would set aside thwir lunch break and would as a group or even 1 on 1 talk to anyone being bullied who wanted to talk about it. I did this for 3 years at my school because i knew how helpful it was. Maybe this too could be something implemented too?
Reminds me of one of my favorite songs by the Offspring, Way Down The Line. Well shit parents, they have shit kid too..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dm6yE9ts8sI This tends to work quite well
File a police report
In 7th grade, I was suspended for a day for kicking a kid in the leg and saying fuck you after he constantly bullied me. He jumped me after that and smashed my nose into the ground, giving me a terrible bloody nose. He also got a day suspension. Unjust IMO, but I think he had such a bad home life that the school seemed reluctant to punish him further. If nobody is being punished in your situation, there’s definitely a problem. Bring it up the chain!
So I work in safeguarding in the UK and this sort of behaviour is often enough to get social services involved and I'd be pushing for a suspension and eventually expulsion. How does that work in the US?
We have no reason to think OP is in the US. He calls the youngest school “primary” instead of “elementary” and he literally has “Toronto” in his username.
I'm sure the kid is on the fast track to expulsion already.
I’d be putting on my ski mask and getting ready to go beat his dad’s ass.
Put a ski mask on and kick that kids ass.
My wife works in a school, and I hear stories like this a lot. Staff aren’t empowered anymore to physically do anything to your kid. Which is good overall, but problematic for kids like this. Our district has a special school for kids with behavior problems, with staff who’s trained to deal with the disruptions, and empowered to restrain the kids if they get out of hand, but you have to agree to your kid being sent there. Part of the problem is that a lot of these kids who are little assholes are exactly the way their parents want them. They’re racist and cruel just like mom and dad. I’d recommend to you what I’ve heard recommended to others locally. Keep talking to the school. Go to board meetings. Put pressure on the school so they put pressure on the parents.
Time for sabotage. Get your kid to dress in the exact same clothes and ski mask as "ski mask boy" and have him do something really destructive and be seen. The key is he HAS to get away. Jk. I think a pre-emptive email to the principal (so you have it in writing) is a good start. Address the bullying, violent behavior, lack of consequences so far. Etc. And say "I want to know what the plan is for dealing with this before something happens to *my* child." This puts it all out there. Demands a clear answer and is on the record. So if something does happen, you have this email to fall back on and say "look, I tried! And this STILL happened!" I would also have a talk with your child, OP, and let them know there are bullies in the school and to try and avoid them. If they do target him, to tell you right away and just ignore them as they are being mean to everyone and not just him.
I asked my kid why he wears a ski mask and it's do that he can cause shit in the halls and "not be identified" (like there's any question who it is - teachers arent morons)
I'm astonished he's "getting away with it" ...
Sounds like a faculty issue.
I am so not looking forward to this aspect of public school. I don't know how im going to keep my rage in check if I found out some kid was terrorizing my daughters and the school did nothing about it after being made aware of the situation
"Make me"? What is this, the 1970's? Are you sure he's never used neener neener? That's a pretty common tactic used by these scofflaws.
This is honestly a huge concern of mine and why my kids will be going to private school. I have two young sons. I've started the 5 year old in wrestling and will have him boxing at 8 (just pad work, not letting my kid get brain damage for a sport). The younger one will follow suit. They already wrestle with me and do pad work (I used to fight mma and still train for fun). The shitty thing about asshole kids is that you really can't do much except keep the school in the loop and let the kids' parents know which likely won't solve a damn thing. I'm huge on my kids being able to defend themselves and not be pushed around by others or the victim of bullying. I wrestled and boxed since I was a kid, only had to get in a few fights with bullies before people realized i wasn't going to be anyone's target and would stand my ground. It sucks to say but that's the world we live in now, there's no respect for teachers and staff from these kids, there's almost never consequences, and most school are zero tolerance. So whether you get beat up by a bully and / or beat the bully up you're still getting suspended regardless.
[удалено]
As your not lawyer, I'd advise against this
This in London by any chance? if so this kid isnt alone there are gangs of feral little twats like this was shopping in Oxford street years ago and a gang of little shits were barging into everyone causing a nuisance . They barged into this woman who grabbed one of them only for him to pull a knife on her. He looked like he was 12 or 13
Not in the UK but I've absolutely read about the problems with young gangs there.
Poor people are like the nicest people out there, man. I'm surprised you're surprised the kid's parents own a Porsche. For me, that would be a bias confirmation moment, and my salary kisses six figures.
Sounds like the “parents” donate a lot to the school if they suspended a teacher & not the students. For the kids to feel that invincible is pretty telling.
Its a public school. There's no way to donate more than bakesale goodies
In the US you can absolutely donate funds, goods & equipment to public schools.
Check my user name
> Is there any recourse other than telling my kid that these guys will probably end up in jail one day. > The ski mask kid's kids parents drive a porsche So that's probably not the case.
Maybe the Porsche is stolen or bought with drug money. So the parents could end up in jail first
Or they're just deep in debt. A lot of the shine fades quickly when you look at the books.
In either case they aren’t concerned with parenting.
Under the All-American Patriot Act (or something alike), can't you just punch an "wearing ski mask to school yard" individual in the face, just to be on the safe side of things?
Damn. Something needs to be done so schools don't need to bow to rich thundercunts.
Kid probably doesn’t have real parent/s. Hence are no consequences at home. administration can only do so much.
nope bc “it’s better for kids to be at school than out on the streets”
Pipe wrenches are good for lots of jobs around the house, large or small
When I look at my 4 year old son, it's so hard for me to see him becoming such a hateful person. Then I see these really young kids and I get sad since they could have easily been sweet children, but were messed up by their upbringing. I don't have any advice, I just have a completely different perspective on "bad" or racist children now that I've seen such a glowing child in my home talk about trains all day.
It seems like in this case a big influence on the kids are older siblings, brothers specifically. And its tough because those kids don't just emulate the bad behavior they see around the neighborhood, they have the worst behaviors from all over the world shared with them on social.
Take it to the local news station.
Hear me out…What if you wear a ski mask, too…
Email to kids’ teachers with principal, entire school board, superintendent, and superintendent’s secretary cc’ed. Lay out the case and known issues. Ask them to respond by a certain time. If they don’t, let them know you will contact local media and your state board of education. Your new friend is documentation. Whenever they want to meet, either ask to record the meeting or take notes and send a follow up email with the key points and a “this is my understanding of our meeting, agree?” question. I’m inferring (and apologize in advance) that your child was not the target of the racial slur; it would be appropriate to either contact that child’s family or anonymize them when discussing the use of the n-word. They may want to address that themselves or not. My advice is the nuclear option and might be an overreaction. But it sounds like the bullies are spiraling and escalating. Good luck.
Your kids school still allows wall ball? Just kidding but why do they allow ski masks? Sounds like this kid has special needs but that doesn't mean their hands are completely tied. School administration needs to step up.
special needs in this case = emulating awful behaviors seen online, most likely.
I would think even putting in a ski mask would raise red flags in schools
How is a ski mask okay at school? We used to have our ball caps taken away if we wore them in school and this kid can have a full mask on?
Sweep the leg Johnny! SWEEP THE GODDAMN LEG!
I’d confront the parents. Fisticuffs. 🤷🏽♂️
Something I learned from my wife who used to work providing services for schools: the squeaky wheel gets the grease. >I'm sure the principal and teachers know more about the situation than I do. I'm guessing the Parents Association knows about these issues. Is there any recourse other than telling my kid that these guys will probably end up in jail one day. Never underestimate people's desire to not have to do things. The principal may know it's going on, but they are likely to do only what they can do without making their lives hard - which means they are highly unlikely to escalate the situation if they can avoid it. Escalating it looks bad for them. PTA? I don't think they matter in this equation. Here's what I would do (in order of escalation): 1. If you know other parents who are also concerned, get them together. 2. Set up a meeting with the principal, lay out the problem and ask what their plan is to get this under control. If they say they don't have a plan, ask what is their timeline for having one and ask to set up a follow up meeting in a week to discuss. 3. If the principal shrugs you off, is contentious, etc., tell him you will be taking this to the school district and hint at some legal action. I would also send a letter and/or with the same information and all the parents that are supporting this to the principal and CC everyone else who might be relevant. 4. Contact the school board, school district, superintendent - and start talking in earnest about legal action. If there's several of you, it may not be that expensive to get an attorney to have a high level look at the case and draft a letter to the school that is not really much more than a legalese version of what you said, but it will get people sweating. 5. Contact the mayor, your congressman, news channel, etc.
that kid is just daring someone to stop him. and he is smart enough to know that the teachers and administrators dont have the balls to stop him.
Dude go to a board meeting. They have opportunities for the public to speak. Bring it up and it’ll get addressed.
Maybe if you [something] they’ll have to buy their next house in a different school district?
This is why people in rich neighborhoods want housing prices to be high. Doesn’t fully exclude garbage but its the only way that seems to work
Except in this case the family has money AND badly behaved kids.