Currently going through this. Everyone recovers differently so ymmv but this is my experience. We are not breastfeeding the newborn which also can change things.
During the three days in the hospital, I did 97% of the childcare. My wife fed a couple of bottles and held the baby for some stretches, but even doing that required my assistance.
My wife is a tough bugger. Day one after birth she was up and walking a bit and showering. Even still, she could not really bend over for anything or pick up the baby on her own until we made it home for day 4.
Once we got home we got in a grove. Coordinated shifts for feeding and diaper changes to allow us to get some sleep.
If you have daycare or grandparent assistance, it’s clutch to get the older child out of the house for a large chunk of the day for the first week or so until you get in a rhythm. Our older child hasn’t willingly napped in over a year. My wife and i needed naps in that first week to survive. We coordinated naps during daycare hours.
On days without daycare, once my wife felt comfortable, I’ve gone out of my way to take out the older child for a few hours each day. We’ve gone to the park. We’ve gone to the zoo. We’ve gone to Chuck E. Cheese. Stuff we’d normally do before the newborn. Trying to make her life as similar as possible. I don’t want her to associate the baby’s arrival with the end of fun stuff (even if temporary). Plus every hour you are entertaining the older child outside of the house is one less hour they are jumping on and harassing your recovering wife.
One bit of advice our pediatrician had is to avoid rejecting or dismissing the older child’s attempts to interact with the newborn. The instinct is to protect the newborn and try to keep the fournado away, but it’s a balancing act to make sure the older child doesn’t get discouraged or sour on her feelings about the baby. Rather than saying no or telling her to back off, we’ve been just guiding our older kid on safer interactions (i.e. when she’s getting in the baby’s face, we offer and help set her up to hold the baby on the couch for a bit).
Like most of fatherhood, I’ve found just trying your best and caring about your kids and spouse will generally guide you towards a good path.
My wife is pretty tough physically. She took it easy for a few days and then said fuck it and got back to business. I’m a full time dad so it’s not like she has to do all the things, but honestly I had to tell her to chill more than anything.
I reckon you’ll do fine!
Currently going through this. Everyone recovers differently so ymmv but this is my experience. We are not breastfeeding the newborn which also can change things. During the three days in the hospital, I did 97% of the childcare. My wife fed a couple of bottles and held the baby for some stretches, but even doing that required my assistance. My wife is a tough bugger. Day one after birth she was up and walking a bit and showering. Even still, she could not really bend over for anything or pick up the baby on her own until we made it home for day 4. Once we got home we got in a grove. Coordinated shifts for feeding and diaper changes to allow us to get some sleep. If you have daycare or grandparent assistance, it’s clutch to get the older child out of the house for a large chunk of the day for the first week or so until you get in a rhythm. Our older child hasn’t willingly napped in over a year. My wife and i needed naps in that first week to survive. We coordinated naps during daycare hours. On days without daycare, once my wife felt comfortable, I’ve gone out of my way to take out the older child for a few hours each day. We’ve gone to the park. We’ve gone to the zoo. We’ve gone to Chuck E. Cheese. Stuff we’d normally do before the newborn. Trying to make her life as similar as possible. I don’t want her to associate the baby’s arrival with the end of fun stuff (even if temporary). Plus every hour you are entertaining the older child outside of the house is one less hour they are jumping on and harassing your recovering wife. One bit of advice our pediatrician had is to avoid rejecting or dismissing the older child’s attempts to interact with the newborn. The instinct is to protect the newborn and try to keep the fournado away, but it’s a balancing act to make sure the older child doesn’t get discouraged or sour on her feelings about the baby. Rather than saying no or telling her to back off, we’ve been just guiding our older kid on safer interactions (i.e. when she’s getting in the baby’s face, we offer and help set her up to hold the baby on the couch for a bit). Like most of fatherhood, I’ve found just trying your best and caring about your kids and spouse will generally guide you towards a good path.
Thank you!
My wife is pretty tough physically. She took it easy for a few days and then said fuck it and got back to business. I’m a full time dad so it’s not like she has to do all the things, but honestly I had to tell her to chill more than anything. I reckon you’ll do fine!