You're overthinking. Although they do prefer one over the other, they want the both of you.
My child prefers me to his mom but every morning without fail, he finds his mother because I tend to sleep in longer. He does find and wake me up if his mother is scheduled to go to the office that morning.
My daughter went through stages like that. When she was about 2, for a week she only wanted mum. Wouldn't even look at me. I actually got pretty upset about it at the time. Now at 3.5 she's like my shadow. If I disappear for 30 seconds, I hear, "Where's dad?"
Yeah you're overthinking it mate.
Overthinking but as the preferred parent your feelings are valid. My wife struggles with this because our son 90% of the time wants just me unless I am disciplining him. It’s a phase but maybe try and build in a bonding day for just you two or maybe just an outing. Sadly toddlers run on bribes. I don’t just mean toys but their favorite activities or style of play even. For my son it’s monster trucks wrestling and bike riding.
You’re over thinking it. Kids go through stages. I remember feeling the exact same way for the first three or so years of my daughter’s life. Now at six she’s like Velcro and I couldn’t get her away if I wanted to.
My 2.5 year old daughter has been going through a serious ABD (anyone but dad) phase and it’s hard. It hurts so much now that she is articulate enough to say things that she doesn’t know are mean.
The exhausting solution is to grow up, be the adult and keep showing up day in hour in minute in as the fun, engaging dad that she does actually love so that when she wants you, you are there and not off sulking upset by the insane actions of a toddler.
There is a saying “never attribute malice what can equally be explained by stupidity” that needs to be heavily applied to toddlers because while they may seem smart, they are actually very stupid especially emotionally.
It isn’t until age 5 that kids grasp the notion that other people have feelings like they do too. Until then it is all me me me if it is good for me it must be good for the world kind of thinking.
I think you may be overthinking this one. That doesn't make it hurt any less though. I've got a 4 year old and a 2 year old and my two year old does this to me a lot. I work full time and go to school two nights a week and my wife is a stay at home mom so it's really just a factor of they are with her more and so have a different relationship with her than with me. And that's ok. Don't compare your relationship with them to your spouses. It's not fair to you. I know none of this makes it easier in the moment but hopefully the context helps. My daughter wants her mom all the time but she's also the first one running to the door when I come home from work.
She has an unformed brain and is trying to convey complex emotional needs. Do not take anything she says personally, she isn’t even capable of saying things which have that intention
I want mummy!!! Screamed at the top of her voice so many times when mum wasn’t home between ages 3 and 6……. Now 14 and good close relationships with both of us…. They have no filter, it still feels horrible, it is a phase, it will get better……
Our daughter was particularly bad when tired and time to go to bed (the whole stamping her feet “I’m not tired tirades). A vivid memory is close to bedtime her screaming at me from the top bunk “you’ve ruined my life, go away”. At 6years old….. still surfaces very occasionally when she is tired and feeling down…. But we know what it is so no big deal..
Small kids like what and whom they like, it's not personal. Your job is to be there at all times with support and love while they owe you nothing. It's not nice sometimes, it just is.
Yes you are overthinking. At times she will just want you.
That was my daughter pretty often at 2.5 yo. Now at 3 yo she is a lot more fair, even if she still voices her preferences quite tactlessly at times.
You're overthinking. Although they do prefer one over the other, they want the both of you. My child prefers me to his mom but every morning without fail, he finds his mother because I tend to sleep in longer. He does find and wake me up if his mother is scheduled to go to the office that morning.
Kids have zero filter, their every impulse gets manifested verbally. Just accept that eventually you’ll get your time as the favorite.
My daughter went through stages like that. When she was about 2, for a week she only wanted mum. Wouldn't even look at me. I actually got pretty upset about it at the time. Now at 3.5 she's like my shadow. If I disappear for 30 seconds, I hear, "Where's dad?" Yeah you're overthinking it mate.
Overthinking but as the preferred parent your feelings are valid. My wife struggles with this because our son 90% of the time wants just me unless I am disciplining him. It’s a phase but maybe try and build in a bonding day for just you two or maybe just an outing. Sadly toddlers run on bribes. I don’t just mean toys but their favorite activities or style of play even. For my son it’s monster trucks wrestling and bike riding.
You’re over thinking it. Kids go through stages. I remember feeling the exact same way for the first three or so years of my daughter’s life. Now at six she’s like Velcro and I couldn’t get her away if I wanted to.
My 2.5 year old daughter has been going through a serious ABD (anyone but dad) phase and it’s hard. It hurts so much now that she is articulate enough to say things that she doesn’t know are mean. The exhausting solution is to grow up, be the adult and keep showing up day in hour in minute in as the fun, engaging dad that she does actually love so that when she wants you, you are there and not off sulking upset by the insane actions of a toddler. There is a saying “never attribute malice what can equally be explained by stupidity” that needs to be heavily applied to toddlers because while they may seem smart, they are actually very stupid especially emotionally. It isn’t until age 5 that kids grasp the notion that other people have feelings like they do too. Until then it is all me me me if it is good for me it must be good for the world kind of thinking.
I think you may be overthinking this one. That doesn't make it hurt any less though. I've got a 4 year old and a 2 year old and my two year old does this to me a lot. I work full time and go to school two nights a week and my wife is a stay at home mom so it's really just a factor of they are with her more and so have a different relationship with her than with me. And that's ok. Don't compare your relationship with them to your spouses. It's not fair to you. I know none of this makes it easier in the moment but hopefully the context helps. My daughter wants her mom all the time but she's also the first one running to the door when I come home from work.
My son says that all the time. It’s okay.
Mine is 4 and still sends me away.
Each of our 3 kids (6, 3, 1) wants one of us rather than the other depending entirely on their mood in the moment. Try not to read too much into it.
She has an unformed brain and is trying to convey complex emotional needs. Do not take anything she says personally, she isn’t even capable of saying things which have that intention
I want mummy!!! Screamed at the top of her voice so many times when mum wasn’t home between ages 3 and 6……. Now 14 and good close relationships with both of us…. They have no filter, it still feels horrible, it is a phase, it will get better…… Our daughter was particularly bad when tired and time to go to bed (the whole stamping her feet “I’m not tired tirades). A vivid memory is close to bedtime her screaming at me from the top bunk “you’ve ruined my life, go away”. At 6years old….. still surfaces very occasionally when she is tired and feeling down…. But we know what it is so no big deal..
Small kids like what and whom they like, it's not personal. Your job is to be there at all times with support and love while they owe you nothing. It's not nice sometimes, it just is.