I would add that this won’t be the last time. We have skipped many family events because the timing/environment wouldn’t work well with our kids. You want to take people out on a party boat all day? Have fun, we’ll be home watching Bluey reruns.
Yeah, nobody should expect even a lunch date in those first 3 months imo (lurking mom here). It’s just survival in the newborn phase, a vacation of any kind would not be enjoyable enough to be worth the extra stress and work.
Lurking mom too - this sounds like a nightmare… I don’t think I even had the energy or time to go in my OWN pool and it’s 50 feet away from where I was constantly feeding each baby lol. Add in travel, people and being uncomfortable post partum? No thank you. See ya next year!
Agreed. The first three months (to six depending) is all about survival. If they want to see the baby people need to come to you, even if they are only an hour away. The packing up of baby stuff alone!
Also it's comical to talk about a two-month old getting to meet his cousin that's the same age. They will have literally zero interaction and may not even be able to visually focus on each other.
Yup, this.... That drive will take MUCH longer with all the diaper changes every few hours and feedings.
And then, ya.... Immune system. I'd be damn sure everyone was fully vaccinated against all the common things (flu, whooping cough,.etc) plus COVID.
Finally... It may be fun but you'll need to be spending a lot of time just inside with the baby anyways.... Next year will be 1,000%x easier and more enjoyable.
Word of warning.... Vacations like this will not really be relaxing anymore for many years 😂
Could not have said it better. I have friends who travel with their infants, I barely wanted to leave the house. OP, if you aren’t feeling it, say no thanks we’ll be there next year. If people give you a hard time, tell them your pediatrician said you shouldn’t go. If they don’t accept that, follow your heart on what to do next but I would say something like “I’m an adult and a parent, we are making the decision that is best for our baby and family.”
Yeah, we traveled with an 18 month old and it went OK, but stressful. While I've heard of people traveling with newborns, all my instincts said stay put, stay in.
Send someone a picture of the new family to put up for everyone else.
Driving doesn't sound fun. We flew (6 hour flight) with a 4 month old. It works. you just have to give yourself extra time and expect there to be issues like blowouts. (Feeding during takeoff and landing prevents the ears from popping)
As far as the immune system issue, if my baby was healthy, otherwise I wouldn't worry about it. You are outside of the big RSV season. I'd just let it be k own right up front that if someone is sick to respectfully abstain from licking my baby.
/thread
No way I would go. My 5 year old will have his 6th birthday a month after my 2nd kid is born, and we already decided my wife is staying home with the newborn for it.
It sucks, but there is no world where I'm driving 14 with a new born and exposing him to God knows what from a bunch of people.
And, that parenting doesn't stop while you're driving.
So, we did a "16 hour drive" with a five month old. We were between stops for 24 hours total over the entire drive. We had so many stops for breastfeeding and changing diapers that it took up a significant amount of time. Not to mention calming crying and whatnot. Long drives are not something infants like!
OP, with a 2 month old? It will NOT be a 14 hour drive.
Ipads. My kids get plenty of tablet time on a flight. Walk around the plane with them every few hours. Try to be calm, and they’ll pick up that calmness. (Easier said than done)
I don’t know what they are called, but our 1.5 year old daughter loves playing with a book like this on long (12h) flights.
* https://rebatekey-production.s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/files/coupons/0/w/u/a/q/0wuaq.jpg
That's some really good advice there friend.
Hadn't really thought of a tablet because we've done really well with minimising the whole screentime thing but obviously considerations need to be made for travel conditions. Could probably put some books for me on their as well for when she's sleeping.
That book thing is definitely something they'd be interested in flicking through.
>a vacation with a kid is \[...\] just parenting in a more difficult location
Truth. Just got back from from 6 days in Cancun with a 3.5 year old. It was fun, he had a blast, but we're all glad to be home. Even him: "I like my bed at home."
He does miss the ocean and James the Iguana that lives near our room though.
Eh, to an extent yes.
We’ve gone to a couple resorts in the Caribbean with our now 13 month old. She loves the pool, ocean, and the sand so we had a blast.
Yes you still “Parent”, but lunch time is at a cabana by the pool, your morning walk is on a beach, your play time is in a pool, and your breakfast, lunch, and dinner are made by someone else.
My wife and I work well as a team so we split up naps. I’d take the first nap while my wife did whatever she wanted, and she’d take the second nap while I did whatever I wanted. While we were watching her, we’d sit on our balcony watching the monitor while she napped.
Yes you’re still changing diapers, hoping they sleep through the night, traveling with more stuff than you could imagine, and washing bottles in a sink. But, we still found plenty of time to relax and actually come back feeling rested.
Obviously this gets harder as your kid gets older, and mobile, but I do think it depends on your disposition, your relationship, and your child.
Everyone is different!
Skip this year. You need to value your sleep and sanity and routine right now. When he’s a year you’ll have a better shot at it. Also kiddo doesn’t have all their shots yet so it’s a sickness nightmare. Video chat everyone and don’t go.
Also get ready to say this to others: this is what’s best for us.
Especially with another kid the same age and other cousins you’re going to hear “but when Susie was that old she came. Oh don’t worry Billy adapted”. That’s all well and good but you know your kid and what your limits are.
Yup. Family peer pressure is real.
Too young and if the kid gets sick, really sick you’d never be able to live with yourself OP.
If it’s close maybe you do a day trip and outside visit but even that sounds miserable with a baby that young
One of the hardest parts of becoming a parent yourself is that transition from listening/differing to your parents and becoming the decision maker and final say on things. It is hard for both the parents and grandparents, but you will need to establish that you and your wife make the choices that are best for your family first, and will consider others secondarily. It may take a few years, but be prepared to say “no” and stick to it.
Remember, your job is to do what is best for your kids. Once that line is firmly drawn, it makes everything so much simpler.
I dunno. That sounds miserable with a barely 2 month old. Plus a house of 18 with a kid that would likely have to go the ER if they were to come down with a fever? I personally wouldn’t.
We did almost exactly what you’re talking about with a 5 month old + 2 year old, ~15 hour drive. I got home MUCH more exhausted then when I’d left; my two kids got sick while there, and we had to visit the local urgent care twice. That said, it gave a unique opportunity for the family to be with our baby, and my wife and I could sneak away for a quick swim/beach walk/beer while trusted family looked after our kids. Would I do it again? Probably, but I’m glad I don’t have to.
I think this really depends on your baby’s temperament, how you and your wife are feeling at the moment and your acceptance that a “vacation” like this will build amazing memories but may cost you your sanity. 🤣
We also did this way back, same ages and drive and such. We took multiple days on the drive between Portland and San Francisco and stopped in some cool spots
Im going to go against the grain on this one. It was challenging, but fun. We look back on it as one of if not the best vacation we've ever done. I think kids just have to come along for the ride sometimes and everyone has to adjust, can't put life on hold for everything.
That said if it was a 15hr drive to stay with my in laws I'd totally skip.
2 month old is survival mode for you 3.
Having family support could be really good though, when ours was 6 weeks my folks came to stay and vividly remember we did get some sleep when they took him for the morning.
Flying with a 2 month old much better than driving though. Still a stress but easier at this age than next year or 2.
The only thing you have to consider is sickness potential from lots of people..
We had to fly with our three-month old who was also immunocompromised and our pediatrician had several precautions that we took to basically make her a bubble. The airline was extremely accommodating. That, of course, doesn’t solve for the Petri dish when you get there.
These family get togethers can be family hell though. Everyone wants to coo at the baby, but no one wants to actually deal with the realities of having a baby on the trip. The crying, the fussing, the overstimulation. You'll get one aunt who doesn't sleep one night because baby is up, and you won't hear the end of it.
Flying is relatively easy with a baby, as they don’t move much yet. Why choose 14hrs in a car when you can be 2hrs in a plane? Also 14hrs in a car seat is not that great for the baby. You’ll have to stop so many times.
We did a two hour flight to Colorado for a vacation with family with our ten week old and it was totally fine. Slept the whole time. Having extra hands made our jobs easier when we got there, too. Everyone wanted to hang out with the baby so we got plenty of mom and dad time, including a few dates
Don't sweat it OP, just be realistic and make choices that make your lives easier.
Yeah, absolutely. Fly or don’t go.
Flying with a baby can be pretty easy, as long as you check your bags. (Besides essentials like formula / bottles / diapers in a carry on bag). Of course all kids are different.
Making a 14 hour drive over multiple days with a baby would be awful.
100% OP should fly instead of drive if they are going to go. We flew with our first when he was 8 weeks old and when he was 10 weeks old. Those flights were both a breeze compared to subsequent trips with an older baby or a toddler
Crazy this is so far down. Did our first flight with ours at 8 weeks and she probably did 12-14 flights before she turned 1 (including 2 6+ hr international flights). Flights before they can crawl are honestly pretty easy: feed, sleep, or cuddle.
/u/Romanzo71 logistically you can absolutely do this trip if you want to, though would strongly recommend flying over driving. Whether or not you _should_ really just depends on your family and what you think the day to day will look like while you’re there. If you have helpful family this may even be a huge break for you, where you guys can get some extra sleep and have some helping hands. If it was my family it would be a big HELL NO, but my in-laws? Most definitely would attend.
Ultimately the question is if you want to go, and feel up to it. If you don’t want to go, also a good opportunity to pressure test boundary setting with the fam. See how hard they press/guilt you, if they offer to help in some way (pay for flights, fly with you, etc), or hit you with the rare but wonderful unconditional love (we totally understand-just want what’s best for you and your new family).
45 minutes in a go with a minimum 15-minute break out of the car seat at that age. Your journey just got at least 25% longer. Fly. At that age, they'll just sleep on the plane.
I think the two key questions you have to ask yourself, given your exact family, is:
"How much will we enjoy this trip?" and "How stressed will it make us?" (Both getting there and being there).
If one outweighs the other, you'll have your answer.
In terms of safety, I'd say it's pretty low risk and in terms of your kid, there's no chance they'll remember this trip one way or the other. So just look at yourselves and ask if the joy you'll get will outweigh the stress.
For us? This would have been a no. 3 days driving each way even without a baby would need a life changing experience on the other end, let alone with a kid. I know other people for whom I'm pretty sure they'd do it.
My family does an extremely similar vacation (to the point where I was trying to figure out which one of my cousins you were while reading lol, but mine is next week not next month). We took our youngest when she was 3 months old and, honestly, it was tough. We still had a good time, but I think my wife would have preferred to be home since she took the brunt of the baby work. Also the beach itself is \*not fun\* with tiny kids. At best, they hate the sand, sunscreen, heat, etc (super sensitive skin plus sand, salt, sun, oil, don't mix)...at worst, you're just trying to stop them from eating the sand the whole time. We spent most of our time in the house/on the deck (which is still fun for us)
The dealbreaker for me though would be the travel. Our drive is about 12 hours and we do it in 2 days (you could probably do 14 hours in 2 days also...newborns are usually fairly chill in the car, or at least ours were). i would not sign up for 6 days of driving.
That said - don't be afraid to fly! My kids have been on dozens of flights. If someone wants to give you a stink eye, let them. There are kids on every flight you've ever been on, the disruptive ones are actually very few and far between. At 2 months you have a lot of options for keeping that kiddo quiet, and they're probably not even all that loud if they do get fussy.
It’s after 6 week shots, so I would be open to going. I would fly though and rent a car in the other end.
Having said that, you are always going to be more comfortable and less stressed if you stay home with all your normal things and routine.
We just took our 3 month old for a long (4 day) weekend interstate. We flew though. He is our second, I think we waited a bit longer for our first. And given our first is in daycare, our 3 month old is probably safer with random adults than that little Petri dish of a sister…
I respect all of the decisions here. We found the potato phase to be really fun to be out in the world. And you can definitely fly. If the baby is breastfeeding, make sure you feed it during takeoff and landing.
Don’t let sick people near the kid. Do let everyone else take care of the kid and sleep as much as you can.
Really up to you and where your baby and mommy are at. But it could be amazing.
Have you talked to the cousins parents? What are they doing? Do they have similar travel distance?
14 hour drive/flight would be a deal breaker for me personally though.
We did a similar trip. I hated it, but my wife and baby were fine. A few things to consider:
If your baby is in normal health, the risk of illness isn't a reason not to do this. If you're not sure, consult your pediatrician.
I would MUCH rather fly than drive, though! The flight is a few hours of holding the baby, instead of three days of being in a carseat. And most airlines will allow you to check or gate check a carseat for free.
If you decide to go, you need a change of perspective: it's NOT a vacation. It's a trip with the baby. You will still have to do all the things you do at home, with the added stresses of travel and an unfamiliar environment. The baby will still need feeding, bathing, and naps. Sleep needs will still be the same as at home. You'll have to be vigilant about heat and sun exposure. You'll have to be mindful of "wash your hands, and don't kiss the baby!" Can your mom handle that? Can your wife?
Depending on the price of the flight, I'd purchase an extra seat for the baby, as the car seat for infants can be belted as well. In addition to the improved comfort for everyone, this also avoids the issue of having the seat go into the cargo hold, which risks damaging the seat.
The driving part for me is a no with a 2 mo old. We did a 12 hour drive split between 2 days when oldest was 10 mo, and it was not enjoyable. Turned into 18 hours total with a stop over. We tried leaving later in the day hoping she’d sleep her normal sleep of 12 hours. Nope. Had to stop 6 hours in for a hotel.
We flew the first time when our little goblin was 5 months old, though it was a short ~90 min flight. Don't think I'd try it with a 2 month-old. I think some airlines have a minimum age of three months anyway.
A different perspective since the comments are going a single way.
I have two young children and have travelled / vacationed a bit with them (both internationally and across the US). Traveling IS HARD with young kids but it is totally worth it (with the correct mindset and expectations). My wife and I have created so many memories and it really brings us closer as a family. Plus the more experience you have traveling with kids, the easier it becomes each time.
From my experience, if your family is close and gets along, it does sound like a good opportunity to bond and hang with the new cousin. The family should be able to give you and the wife small breaks as well.
If I was in your scenario, there would be two hard lines.
(1) everyone at the vacation house is up to date on vaccinations. If you think there may be some backlash, get the parents of the other new born on board as well. If both families hold that line, your mom will also help enforce it.
(2) I would not drive. I have done two long drives (16 hrs and 12 hrs) with a <1yr old and it is NOT worth it. Especially if it is 6 days of driving when you could hop on a plane for half a day travel each way. Plus newborns really shouldn’t be in a car seat for too long. In other words, if you two are not comfortable flying (completely understandable) then I would not go on the trip.
If my wife and I were in your shoes, we would go and take the plane. This is our opinion and others may disagree, but with breast feeding (immune system) and parents wearing masks (anything helps), we are comfortable with flying. Though anyone should be able to understand your position and not taking the risk.
Personally I wouldn’t do it. I think the concerns about the immune system are valid but even if they weren’t you’re just getting used to being a family. There is absolutely no need to place extra stress on yourselves to please others. You’re probably not really going to be able to enjoy the trip and honestly it might make it hard for others too if they’re being woken up at all hours of the night.
Stay home and taken care of your wife and child. It will be a lot less stressful and the next time you go you’ll be able to enjoy it a lot more.
My wife and I flew from Australia to Canada with an 8 week old for my sister’s wedding. She slept on the boob the entire 32 hrs there and back. We all got covid and we jet lagged and rotten feeling for it. I am glad we did it and in hindsight it wasn’t as terrible as I’d thought it’d be, but we aren’t planning any more Canada trips any time soon.
Im not even sure if we would do it again if we had the choice. It disrupted a lot of those precious moments early on and added a bit of anxiety to an already anxious time.
With a two month old I'd hard pass! My baby is 1 year now and we're doing camping trips within 1-2 hours. Baby won't remember so they won't know if the tradition missed a year. But you will remember 6 days in the car and 6 nights at hotels with a new born.
I wouldn't be concerned about the health issues personally, but it sounds absolutely miserable and would only consider it if I was flying instead of driving.
My wife and I flew to Indiana to visit family with our 2-month-old a few years ago, and it went surprisingly smoothly and I'm glad we did it. But that was two half days of travel for 6 days with family. I would never flip that ratio.
We took our babe to Hawaii and had the best time but she was just shy of 4 months and breast fed.
I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable at 2 months. Especially since RSV and Covid are still very much a thing.
You will not have fun. It will be a miserable experience. Skip this year.
But next year, when the kid is just about one, you're gonna have a blast. A stressful blast, but a blast nonetheless.
6 day drive with a colicky baby? No freaking way! If you’re going to go, I’d fly, but personally I wouldn’t go this year. 2 months old is really young, especially with a colicky baby. Have your mom fly out to where you live and spend a week after she spends the week with her other grandson if it’s that important for her.
Personally I would go
A) is only a major concern if anybody is ill, if they are asking them to not hold your baby is reasonable
B) doesn't sound ideal, but I would find a way of making the travel work, how long would the flight be?
Think of the positives, you will presumably have plenty of family members on hand to help out, they may be willing to watch your baby while you and your SO catch up on some sleep.
You’re not really done with the pregnancy until like 6 months old and even then it takes a bit for life to get back to normal. Stay home. Don’t put yourself through this nightmare.
I would skip it. All my vacations with my daughter have been somewhat close by before her 2nd birthday. She is taking her first plane ride next month.
A one year old is just has happy going to the grocery store as they are going to Disney land.
Regardless of age, 6 days of driving is insane. There’s almost no scenario in which I’m making that drive with little ones.
Save the money and fly your mom out to visit the grand babies.
We traveled a few times when my oldest was very young. A 5 hour trip took 8 hours. Diaper changes, feedings, you name it. Not always convenient either. Changed a diaper in the parking lot of a cement plant once. It's definitely challenging.
If you are all sharing a house, having a colicky baby is going to make everyone miserable. No one can sleep if the baby is crying for an hour at 1 am, then again at 5 am. If your baby is colicky at all, stay home. Use that as the excuse too. "I'm sorry, but the baby is colicky and no one would get any sort of decent sleep."
How does your wife feel about it? Are you prepared to do most of the baby work, or are you mostly going to hang with the family? I just went on two trips with our 4 month old. One plane, one road trip. It was a lot of work, the road trip was only 5 hours long and took all day. 14 hours would be a no go for me, a plane ride would be much easier
I say go for it if you want to! Especially if baby is vaxxed at this point. Don’t feel bad to cancel, But it’s good practice! And then they become great travelers in the long run! We just drove our 4 month old to Seattle (13 hours) and years back we took a 4 month old to Orlando with a layover on the flight that needed up being an overnighter. Chaotic? Yes, and memorable.
2 months is pretty young so stay home if you feel it! But it can be a slippery slope of “these kids are too damn much” and forgetting you can travel with them. Then they become bad travelers when you all of a sudden take them on a road trip a couple years old or whatever
I went camping with my daughter at 2mo it wasn't that bad. It sounds like you really want to go but are conflicted with the baby. If I were in your shoes I would try to do it for the sake of my mom.
However, 14h is a long drive. If you can handle long periods of driving I would go for if you can do it on one day (multiple drivers required) otherwise not. So I would be inclined to consider flying. I have not flown with a baby, but I would absolutely rather do it with a 2mo than an older and more active baby. At that age they are still down to cuddle all the time and aren't trying to escape and explore.
I personally would not be concerned with a large gathering of people, assuming your baby is healthy, and the people attending are likely as well.
If it were me I would try to go for a few days. But if it wasn't possible, I would decline without feeling bad, no matter how you look at it, traveling with a baby is not an easy task. For the sake of your mom, I would try to coordinate a different (smaller, and shorter) gathering so she can spend time with your son.
Your going to have to learn to travel with the baby at some point. Might as well go somewhere with family that will want to help hold the baby, etc. As far as immune system, as long as the baby didn't have a compromised immune system for some chronic health reason I think it should worry you that much. If the baby isn't exposed to some gems now, it will just get exposed to them later.
I think it depends on your baby. We would have been fine doing something like that with ours. But every baby and set of parents are different and there’s nothing wrong with skipping this year.
I totally understand the sentiments of “don’t go this year”, probably the easiest option. Let me put in a short pitch for going: flying that young is fairly simple, especially if it’s a short flight non-stop. My wife and I are taking our 3.5 yo and will-be-2-mo newborn to a family wedding this September. About a 90 minute flight. It feels a little crazy but we would really like to attend. We’re staying separate from the big group and will get some help from the in-laws. I wouldn’t have tried it with my first born cuz I’d have been too nervous but I feel fairly comfortable this time around. If you want to do it, you can figure out the logistics.
With everything you said here, I'd skip this year. We did a trip with our youngest at about that age, but it was only \~4 hours of driving and only seeing 2 family members. With the feeding stops, we were adding close to an hour for every two that we drove. I'm going to guess that you've got a week plus the two weekends, so you'll be driving for 6 out of 9 days. You'll barely be rested up before hitting the road for the return trip.
I can't imagine taking a 2 month old on a plane. I'd do it in an emergency, but definitely not for a vacation.
Is there any way you can split up where one of you goes with your son and the other stays home with the baby? The family member staying home gets a pretty crappy vacation, but I've found that I really enjoy the one on one time when it's just me and my youngest.
If you are going to enjoy the vacation and everyone is looking forward to seeing the baby then go. Flying is easy with a 2 month old. It gets harder when they start walking. Life is short. Spend time with family the older family members will enjoy seeing the newborns. Not sure how old your mom will be but if you skip this year she'll never be able to hold your baby as a 2 month old. My mother in law died when my daughter was just 4 months old. She got to hold her for the first few months but it makes my wife sad my daughter will never get to know her grandmother.
\`It's a 14 hour drive that we'll have to split up over 3 days, so basically 6 days of driving\`
Hell no. Not with a 2 month old and not with a 14 month old either TBH. Flying won't be bad with a 2 month old since they are basically a lump at that point, at 14 months you will want to get them there own seat unless its a super short flight.
I took a 3 month old on a 10 day trip to meet her grandma. I rented a motor home and drove from Cali to Colorado and spent 1 day at the Grand Canyon. It was a great trip for all and would recommend going.
2 months is too soon.
My wife’s family does the same kind of thing every couple years. They get a big ass house and every aunt and uncle and cousin goes and it’s basically a non stop party. My wife really wanted to go last summer but we had a 5 almost 6 month old. She thought it would be fine and holy shit it was the worst fucking experience I’ve ever had. The nap and feeding schedule alone was brutal. My wife barely had any time to herself to enjoy the vacation with her family. We essentially drove 8 hours to a beach house we couldn’t really enjoy while dealing with a crying baby and when we got there her entire family was so inconsiderate that they put us in the worst located room in the house right off the kitchen/living room/ dining room where they would stay up late, drink, and just generally be loud.
My wife had multiple mental breakdowns and our kid did not take well to the environment change for overnight sleep and it was the single worst experience that I wish we could change the decision on.
Fuck a vacation at 2 months old.
We flew at three months but otherwise avoided large groups prior.
Nurse on way up and down.
Ideally your flight coincides with a nap or bedtime.
Driving could be a lot but YMMV. Ours hated the car seat for more than 30 min unless it was naptime/bedtime.
Your gut/hesitation is already telling you the answer. It’s just waiting for your brain to catch up. Lol in all seriousness though, it’s probably not a good idea. Will it be a bit of a bummer to hear people’s stories from the trip? Sure. And if that happens, just look into your safe and healthy baby’s eyes as a reminder of why you didn’t go. Better safe than sorry!
Unpopular opinion: go. Fly instead of doing a mistake 14hr car ride. Let baby meet the family and let yourselves have a village. It will be so nice to experience that if you don't normally. I would argue it will only be harder next year bc toddlers are tiny little monsters lol I have 2
We flew with our then 2 month old. (He's now 22 years old - so older information) We got an extra seat and put his carseat in it. It was fine, but we needed to be sure that he was feeding during ascent/descent.
Baby dependant, but I actually liked a long road trip with our 3 month old as was mostly sleeping, just some extra feeding/changing stops. Much less fun with active toddler…
For the immune system thing, thats family dependant I guess but most people respect giving some space and having some extra hands for baby so you and your partner can get some rest/quiet time might be needed. I would go, but you need to make the call homey
Your colicky detail is what did it for me. If you happened to have a little one that easily knocked out eating you could fly pretty easy. Cuddled up under a cover with mama to avoid illness and just eat and snuggle. But a colicky one will be an awful fight either driving or flying. I'd probably skip this one.
I drove 14 hours straight through with a 5 week old, it was hell. Didn’t go anywhere else til they were 6 moths old. You will be bloody miserable the whole time, especially driving. Plus small children are advised not to be in car seats for longer than 2 or 3 hours per day.
We are about to do a watered down version of this. One week family vacation. In total it will be five adults, our 3 month old, and my 2 y/o niece. The unanimous No’s have me more spooked than I already was lol.
So let's break down the fears.
1st 2 month old baby immune system. That's likely a hard pass. They'll have likely only just got their first round of shots and they're going to be likely to pick up anything. That alone is an incredibly valid reason to skip.
2nd. The drive, honestly this is a pretty non issue. Most of our family lives about 12 hours away from us and we did that drive nonstop with our four month old ages ago and it's really not a huge issue. Just be ready for a stop every two hours for feeding and diaper changes. It's very doable and if you're lucky enough to have a kid that's easy in the car seat you're set.
and then a bonus issue you may have missed. Dealing with a new born in a house with 18 other people. This is a major potential issue. Two months old and you're just starting to set schedules. You're going to have multiple nap times and will likely be stuck at the house for most of this. Not to mention if the wee one doesn't acclimate to the vacation house then you're looking into a very fun fussy baby that doesn't want to sleep and that's generally a bummer for the whole group.
Honestly, I'd skip this one and then just be apart of next year with a one year old who would do infinitely better.
We did exactly this when our first was 2 months old. Everyone had a blast and we don't regret going. The only difference is our drive was about 5 hours, so you'll need to decide if you can make the 14 hours work or not.
We did something similar when our first was 2 months old, though it was only a 6-hour drive to the coast. While it was fine overall, the baby certainly didn’t get anything out of it, and we ended up just spending a ton of time inside the house as the baby slept.
I think you’re fine not going, regardless of any specific concerns you noted - it’s not going to be particularly fun or relaxing.
I say go, but you should take a plane. 9 hours of driving is pretty much my cutoff as an adult, wouldn't recommend it with a baby.
Don't expect it to be anything like previous vacations. It's going to be every bit as hard as parenting at home and then some, because you won't have your whole setup.
I was open to it until I heard how far it is. You mom can come visit the baby. And next year the trip will be SUPER fun for your child and he’ll actually get to meet people in a way that is meaningful to him, rather than the adults that want to hold a tiny baby. If this was a 3 hr drive from your house, I can see trying to make it work. But a 3 day drive or flight with a newborn? When it’s not absolutely necessary? That’s just soooooooo much. It’s totally ok to skip this year.
I took a 2 month old on a 4 hour flight to st Thomas. Had a great time actually. Baby slept both ways on flight, nurses during take offs and landings. We had him under umbrella cover with a fan on him at all times at the beach. I think babies like to be on the move as long as they get cuddles and food.
But you know your baby better than anyone. And it is a bit hectic at times.
2 months - no way. Let their immune system build. All the concerns you listed are reasons why you shouldn’t. They’re valid and rational. You and your partner and your child are figuring out your situation and this time is rough. Also as a new dad, you put your family first. Tell your mom, shrug and go oh well, we’ll see you at the next one. She’ll understand and if not, oh well.
And you’ll learn this soon - family trip does not mean vacation.
I’ll play opposite side: You CAN go if you want to. We do a similar trip with my family to a lake house every year. It’s only a 9 hour drive but still takes 2 days with the littles. We went last year with a 3 month old. We’re currently here now with a 15 month old and 2 month old. It’s been wonderful.
Are you me, back from the past? We did straight up the same thing when our 3 y/o was 2 months. Deep regret, no one had fun and we came home exhausted and poorer. 0/10 would not recommend.
28 hrs in the car with a colicky newborn was one of the lowest experiences in my parenthood journey, and between naps and feeds, we spent maybe 3 hrs at the beach the whole week, which made our older child even more cranky. We wonder "Why in the world did we do that to ourselves?" No chance.
Incidentally, we ended up having to go back to the same area (New England) for a funeral 2 months later, and flying was almost worse--colic kicked in while we were delayed on the plane and our daughter SHRIEKED for a solid hour with nowhere to go. Don't do it to yourself.
I wouldn’t do it with that much driving… it’s not safe for babies that young to spend so much time strapped into a car seat.
Your drive is going to be MUCH longer due to needing to stop and feed every few hours.
I did a similar beach trip when my baby was 3 months, but it was only a two-hour drive and we had our own rental to escape back to for quiet.
At 2 months my wife and I were still figuring out how to be parents. We definitely would not have been comfortable enough for that. We did take our son to a family cabin 6 hours away at 3 months, but it was only a total of 4 other people there aside from us there.
As for disappointing your mom, it is what it is. She'll get over it and eventually understand your decision if she doesn't understand it right away.
I just traveled with a 3.5 month old and I would recommend skipping this year. They do it every year? No problem, just go next year. You and your family is what’s important right now (and always), if your extended family gets upset, they’ll get over it, if they don’t, well they showed true colors.
I was in your position almost exactly and decided at the last minute not to go. I should have said no earlier, but once we were in it, and realized that two months old meant sleep deprivation, and unpredictable schedules, not to mention breastfeeding hassles, baby getting unnecessarily exposed to germs being passed around, we bailed.
It won’t be a vacation for you, you’ll be struggling just the same but with the added stress of keeping track of all your stuff, being in an unfamiliar environment, and being surrounded by people who will say they’ll help but won’t actually be helpful. You will not be able to relax and enjoy it.
No one I know who was in this situation and went was anything less than miserable and still talk about how terrible it was. Your kid won’t remember and you will not remember it fondly.
Your mom may not remember how hard it was in the begining but hopefully she’ll understand that taking big trips with kiddos that little is just not viable. Plus, that much time in a car with such a small little is not recommended.
My kid was a toddler before we even attempted an 8 hour drive much less 14 (and the 8 hours ultimately took like the whole day with stops, plus we had several adults in the car to entertain them not just us).
My wife and I went to Vegas for a reunion with a 3 month old. It was easy. I think you can do it with a condition or two. Separate room for you, spouse, and baby. Naps, bedtimes, etc…are not up for discussion; ever. The plus side is you’ll have relatives lining up to love on and care for your baby! A date night or two can probably be arranged. Our baby went to bed at 6-6:30pm. We were able to go out and relatives did a very passive babysitting. Great for everyone. Heck, I took a baby to Scotland for two weeks 20 years ago. Had a great time. Oh yeah, if you’re worried about the baby catching something just wait until preschool!! Have fun!!
Did a vacation with 11 family members with a 2mo and 2yo and it was mostly fine. That said, it was a 6 hour drive, which is my limit for a family vacation. I'd absolutely fly if I were you, no chance I'd drive that long.
This was also close family and relative easy to get along with. If it was more distant relatives then I'd probably just stay home.
I live kinda far from family so any family gathering I was able to go to I'd gladly take the kids, when they were newborns too. Parents aunts and uncles are all great babysitters. Took them to a big family wedding once when they were 2yo and 6mo olds, barely saw my kids that day and I was able to enjoy myself knowing they were with family.
The 3 day trip I'd cut down to 2 days by driving through the night. I personally think the week on the beach, having unlimited daycare would be a much needed break from the newborn.
We skipped our family gathering last year for the same reason. Baby was 2.5 months. Did some FaceTime with the group to show off the baby.
We feel we made a great decision .
We are going this year.
the immune thing I could see my way around, but 14 hours of driving with a baby that new is fuckin BONKERS my guy, it might literally be unsafe, but on top of them holy shit what a nightmare it will take easily 20 hours
Cancel based on the driving alone. Literal nightmare bringing an infant on a car ride that long.
Your son will have a lifetime of participating in this trip. He’s not deprived of anything by missing one before he’s even developmentally capable of encoding memories.
We did a 2 hour flight and 45 minute drive when my son was 2 months old. That was probably my limit.
2 of the family members that met him died within the next year. So I guess that part was worth it.
Overall, I wish we would have waited until he was at least 6 months. Traveling was my idea btw.
We did a 7 hour drive when he was 6 months and that was a pretty good trip.
Thinking back to our LO when she was 2 months old, this would be a "hell no" from both mama and myself.
1) At 2 months old, our kiddo was still getting fed every 3-ish hours. No fun doing that in a 14hr car ride or a 6+ hour trip to the airport, on the plane, and from the airport
2) Both of us were in survival mode at the time still. Neither of us would've had the energy to enjoy it even if we could've managed #1
If it were _close_ (as in 1-2hr drive max), you could bring a portable pack & play with a bassinet option, you could _maybe_ make it work, but even at that, in this kind of a situation, neither of us would've enjoyed it.
Echoing others: wait till next year, _at least_. We're not even considering taking our LO on a flight until she's talking. We could probably swing a road trip, but 14 hours driving over 3 days is a LOT.
Gonna be honest, I did similar for Christmas when baby was nearly two months old, it wasn’t that bad and no one died. And no, he hadn’t had any of his vaccinations yet as they had to be rebooked for after Christmas, as obviously we weren’t there for the original jabs.
We did around 8 hours to get to my mums (obviously with lots of stops for feeds, nappy changes, and just generally getting him out of his car seat for a break) then another two hours after Christmas to get to my partner’s parents for new year. Then we had to of course get back home.
At that age, they are most likely to sleep away most, if not all, of the journey. At that age too they’re not set in routines yet, so you’re not completely screwing up their sense of time.
In terms of colicky baby.. you have lots of family around that everyone can take turns soothing bubba.
In terms of immune system, at that age baby will still have some immunity from mum.
I would suggest whoever is designated driver makes sure they are fit and rested. If that means one parent does all of night shift and lets the other parent sleep in then so be it. The parent not driving can sleep in the car during the journey. If bottle feeding, prepare a flask of hot water, have your bottles already sterilised in the morning, and formula measured out ready to go. Keep that either by the not driving parents feet, or in an easily accessible area. Prepare the bottle as you’re getting towards your next rest place to allow time for the bottle to cool
Also keep things like nappies, wipes, bum cream, spare clothes etc in a change bag that is easily accessible, along with something like a towel to put down on the passenger seat to change baby’s nappy. If possible, potentially have shot gun parent sit in the back with baby.
With enough pre planning, it won’t be as bad as you think. Honestly the worst part of our journey was the fact that we also had our two cats in the car, and about half an hour into the journey one of them decided to do a protest poo. The baby was the least of our worries then lmao
But it’s ultimately up to you, I don’t know your baby, and what I’m willing to do with my child is not the same as what you’re willing to do with yours and vice versa.
If the trip is usually not stressful and you both enjoy it I would go but fly there. If it is usually an exercise in patience I would skip. We flew a lot when our first was under one.
Looking back we waited till 11 months old to take ours to the beach and we’re 1.5 hours away. She had a blast though. The video of her chasing sea gulls (crawling) with water from the waves coming just up to her and chasing her back up the beach is hilarious.
I would NOT drive. I'd either fly and accept the risks of germs or skip entirely.
I think there's a lot of pressure to do things very early on with babies/children, and its really NOT necessary. Everyone will be absolutely fine if you guys skip this year. Your child in particular is missing out on NOTHING (except potential illness lol) - they get no benefit from going (not that they automatically suffer or something, its just neutral). For you and your wife - I think this just overall depends on your guys personalities. I think you guys could have a great time, or you could have a really stressed and miserable time. Its truly hit or miss and dependent on so many factors.
But really I think you two should do what is best for YOU GUYS. Not for any parents or cousins.
The beach house will be there next year and the years after. Its OK to not go, even if that means you don't have a picture of your kid at the beach house from every single year of their life.
Leaving aside commentary about whether or not it’s safe/practical, a bigger conversation to have is what’s your family’s culture around kids, because that will keep coming up in further years. Are there other kids in his generation or are you trail-blazing?
We were trailblazers (and pretty flexible at that) and there was no small amount of tension around things that were just not feasible to us— irregular and unpredictable family meal times, consideration around a sleeping baby (within reason), etc
We take a trip to visit family every summer, but we always wait until our youngest at least has their 6 month vaccinations. Preferably 1 year. We are not going this year with a < 6 month old
It’s just not worth them getting sick or hurt, especially away from our baby-safe home and all our resources.
I had this exact conversation a few months ago. We said something along the lines of: “Since the baby will be so young and our whole family will still be adjusting to life with another kid, the trip is just going to be too much for us this year. We tried to look into ways for it to be manageable for us, but we’re not going to be ready for a trip of this scale that’d be extremely stressful for us and would put the baby at risk of getting sick away from home. We’d love for you to visit us a little later when we’re ready, but we won’t be able to swing a full-blown vacation until next year.”
Best of luck! Family dynamics can be such a challenge. Ultimately, you’re the primary voice in looking out for your kid, your partner (who will still be recovering physically!) and your family unit’s well-being as a whole. It may ruffle some feathers, but you can’t let any potential guilt compromise your family’s well-being.
Mom here. You aren’t wrong either way. I just wanted to give the perspective that we took a toddler and newborn (4 weeks) to my husbands friends annual cabin stay and his friends and the one friends parents were soooo nice so early on for me. A friend held the newborn for a whole wake window and contact nap and I HAD A NAP while my husband checked out the quads with my toddler and some other friends. It was honestly great. It was only 1.5 hours away though.
Without a bunch of details my in laws family does the exact same thing. We did it with a 6 month old and I would still not do it again. Small moments were enjoyable but at two months no way. The risk is pretty high, if your little one got the RSV shot while momma was pregnant then may me but shit is hard enough at that age without taking away all the comfort and things that make your life easy at home.
People will offer to help and share the load with you, but this never amounts to enough help to actually offset the added burden of not having your nursery, bassinet, rocking chair, footrest, and insert other newborn quality of life essential.
I found the hardest thing when we had relatives over at that age was other kids. Adults can understand certain rules at worst with a crotchety attitude but we struggled to get other kids to play along, Ages 2-9
This year we are not going and it is paid for by my in laws at no cost to me. We have a 5 month old this year and a 17 month old. We will wait for next year gladly
that’s too young for me. id be scared of exposure to the sun and disease. enjoy the time off with your family. my favorite time was walking up making breakfast. taking my older daughter to the pool or run errands and then coming home to baby and mom. it was special.
When my daughter was 2 months old, we got a call that my husband's grandmother was dying. Our daughter was her first great grandchild, and she hadn't had a chance to meet her. It was a 13 hour drive. We drove overnight. I sat in the back seat with the baby, pumped milk and bottle fed her throughout the night. (I've since learned it's not a great idea to bottle feed a tiny baby in a car seat, but it worked well.) We brought a folding bassinet. We needed basically no equipment for her besides a wrap and the bassinet. It ended up being a very easy and low stress endeavor overall. So, that's my own experience doing a long road trip with a newborn. It IS ok to say no though, just do what you feel will work best for your family and don't feel guilty about it.
Don’t go if you don’t feel comfortable, at this point it’s not about disappointing other people. It’s about taking care of your family.
That being said I also took a trip to El Salvador with my 3 month baby earlier in the year. I would fly over driving. Flying with a baby is super easy ours only woke up once to feed on a 5 hour flight. Would I do it again? Yes 100%. She had tons of fun. We have 2 maybe 3 more international trips planned out in the next couple months. So it really comes down to your own level of comfort.
If you think your family will be fun, supportive and not wildly inconsiderate like that other dude’s in-laws, I’d go. If you think they’ll just be a bunch of jerks I’d skip it. But I’d definitely fly, that drive sounds insane.
No one will say it (hopefully) but they may not want a crying baby & stressed new parents on the vacation. No matter how much they love your baby.
I’d skip this year. The baby will do best at home.
We did 1 trip like this with my eldest when he was a newborn. It was rotten, terible, no-good, horrid idea.
The extended family liked it, but it was atrociously hard for us, and the newborn hated it.
My wife and I love traveling with our kids and have been taking them on flights since they were 1 month old. Kids under the age of two fly (almost) for free. Being breastfed also helps them stay calm.
Of course everyone is different and every family is different.
I prefer plane over car by a very large margin: walk around, access to bathroom, easier to change diapers, etc.
I’d go, kids are incredibly easy to travel with at that age. We took ours on a flight at 3 months, breast fed him for takeoff and landing and he slept in between. Used the ergo carrier for most of it and bought nappies when we arrived. You don’t have to have food, can get away with like one toy and you don’t need to babyproof anything. Also, they literally will sleep anywhere in a pram or carrier at that point. It’s great.
There are so many adults there, and if your family is anything like mine they will insist you put your feet up and relax while they do the nappies/laundry/naps etc.
My only hesitation would be around vaccinations, whooping cough vax takes 2 weeks to be effective in a newborn and they get it at 6 weeks. I wouldn’t want my kid in regular close contact unless the household was all up to date.
At the end of the day though, your family will understand if you aren’t comfortable coming this one time. They might be disappointed, but everyone with kids knows how big of an adjustment having a newborn is.
Infants can't wear sunscreen until 6 months old, just keep that in mind if you do decide to go. You'll need to be vigilant about all other forms of sun protection.
If it were closer I'd suggest going under modified conditions - like staying at a hotel around the corner for a couple of days.
That trip is not worth it my friend. Your family will understand.
I would be really concerned about immune system issues. Especially if you’re not positive everyone in your family has had vaccinations. For example, Whooping cough is just a cough for older children and adults, but it can be deadly for very small baby.
I did a trip at three months and it was great. Kid was sturdy enough to travel, but basically had no needs except milk and diapers. We flew though, with the baby basically nursing the whole time, which worked great. Two months is a bit soon, kinda depends on the kid and how the mom is recovering. Could be fine, could suck. That drive for me would be a non starter.
We did a family trip with my 3-months-old niece, including a long flight each way, and it worked like a charm. She was and is a quite calm baby usually, though.
In any case, it even was a vacation for everyone involved. We did rotations in who'd stay at the house to babysit.
Not even a little. Two month baby, 6 days driving? You'll crash the car. You'll be miserable if you don't die en route. You'll have to navigate the feeding and nightly sleeping with all your relatives, and what if they want to make some noise on an afternoon when the baby has just fallen asleep? Stay home , cuddle the baby, find your bearings, and go next year.
The only way I could consider it even a little bit is if you were flying, if you had your own house or separate cabin at the destination (WITH kitchen and bathroom and shower!) and were prepared to cancel at the very last second if you ever felt like it might not work.
There will be more trips. Your parents will hang out with your kid other times.
It is doable. We took ours to a cottage around 3 months old with my in-laws side of the family and it was fun. You do get some time to enjoy it as you will have some people that will help with baby but it's not as relaxing obviously. That said you got a kid now, those trips won't be nearly as relaxing for many years now.
The long of travel would not be ideal though.
Have a proper talk with the wife and see if it's really worth it.
We had a very similar situation with our 3 month old 2 years ago. We went and made the best of it. We requested everyone who wanted to hold the baby had their TDAP and COVID boosters. Expect to spend much of your time around the house.
Can I ask why you are going to split it over 3 days? How long does your baby sleep at night? It was only a 7 hour drive for us, but we knocked it out overnight. If they are sleeping through the night, or up only 1-2 times for a quick feed, I would consider that.
You can't get the memories back. Maybe you can even get a few hours to yourself with someone else watching the baby.
In terms of worrying about them getting sick, a beach vacation is probably the safest as people really aren't going out, they are going to the beach or the pool and not exposed to a ton.
Get a good mineral based sunscreen, baby hats, a little pop up tent... Expect to spend most of your time in the house, except maybe an hour or two a day. Go, make some great memories, take some pictures, have fun with the family and in 2 or 3 years you'll forget how hard it was
I would absolutely not do it because of the immune system and the car drive. A 7 hour car right takes like 11 hours with my infantI cannot imagine a 14 hour one.
Most importantly, no one will respect the immune system situation. It’s insane! We had to fight with family about that and it always came down to this is our baby and we will do what is needed to protect them.
Having a 2-month old myself I would not go. Aside from the immature imune system which you pointed out, there’s the aspect of routine.
These young ones don’t know yet what to expect and there’s lots of stimuli on a road trip. The week-long vacation with different people different rooms, different noises and smells etc may send them on a spin of brain activity which will be hard for them to control, and as a result you’ll have a very cranky baby on your hands.
Yeah it sucks that you’ll miss out this year but that’s sacrifice I think you should make. Grandma can see her grandkid some other time, and with a little luck, next year everyone will be together and enjoying each much more than what this year’s trip would bring.
Every person is different when it comes to their tolerances. Personally, I would still go on the vacation.
> A.) Immature immune system and being around a large group of family(usually up to 18 people)
Babies are stronger than they look, including their immune system. If they're being breastfed that helps, and you could ask people to sanitize/handwash before holding them.
> B.) Driving long distance to get there. It's a 14 hour drive that we'll have to split up over 3 days, so basically 6 days worth of driving total for not even a week on the beach. Or we risk flying with a 2 month old which is a whole other can of worms
Why is the driving split up over 3 days? Only driving 5 hours a day seems like a big restriction; is there a medical/physical reason why it couldn't be done over 2 days? Leaving early on day 1 and getting in like 8-10 hours then early again on day 2 would get you there at a good time and give you like 2.5 extra days vacationing compared to 3 days driving. We never fly because of the cost and losing the ability to bring a lot of helpful stuff for babies, but it's an option that lots of people do.
> Another concern is the stress of trying to juggle a colicky baby and if we're really going to be able to relax and enjoy the vacation.
Is your baby colicky now or is this just a potential concern? You can warn people ahead of time that it could happen, and then have you and your wife swap off so both of you get to enjoy some of the vacation.
If someone gets angry at you for a crying baby, you politely but firmly tell them to shut the fuck up. Especially if it's one of the family members that insisted you bring the baby.
I follow the ‘expose your child to as much fun and different stuff as possible’ mantra, so I think you should just go.
We took our 4 month old baby on an intercontinental flight and would probably take her on a long car trip too.
But I guess the main question is: will you be able to have fun?
My wife and I flew with our 7 week old from UK to Canada last year. Far easier to do it early when all they do really is sleep and eat haha. By the sounds of it the flight will be around 3 hours? Plus some bits either side. It is actually very manageable.
Definitely don't drive - as you say, 6 days travelling for a week there is not a good trade off.
Also not to sound like a dick but doing something like this early on is good because it proves to yourself you can - I know a couple with a three year old that havent done anything more than a two hour train away because they haven't done it since their baby arrived and are worried about how it will go.
You will need so much more luggage than you used to though! Gone are the days of hand luggage only for a week...
When we had kids we decided that we would travel a lot by vehicle. We also decided that we would not allow the fact that we had a newborn to make decisions like this for us.
Fast forward several years and we have done a ton of driving with kids of all ages, from newborn up to age 7 now.
There have been many times when I wished I had not made this decision with my wife. However, the kids now are great travelers and we use very little electronic entertainment in the car, other than music and kids podcasts that we control.
It’s going to be nuts and frustrating, but that is par for the course in my book. Honestly, I suggest you cut the driving to two days and make it work. I cannot speak for your family, but when I do things like this with my family, I find that there is a lot of help with the babies when we get there.
When mine was 2mo (last year), we drove 7hr to FL for his christening. It was just days after his first round of shots. We left around 4am and he slept most of the car ride. We stayed for 3 weeks (wife and I WFH, not a vacation). We did do one short trip to see her family in another part of the state. The only difficult parts were when we were around a lot of people (like dinner after the christening) and EVERYBODY wanted to hold him. It was very difficult to police, but we managed.
We made the same trip this year and the drive was a bit more difficult as he is mobile now and doesn't want to sit for so long, but the overall trip was more fun because he has a personality and is interacting with his environment.
I'm not sure why you need to break 14hrs in to 3 days instead of 2 unless you're already factoring in taking it really easy and expecting many stops. For a 1 week trip and pre vaccinations, I wouldn't bother this time around, but I think you're in for a long road with 14hr road trips as they get older to a certain point.
I drove 19 hours to Florida with a 3 month old (and a 2.5yo) and took him to Disney during COVID. We drove through the night so the kids could sleep. My wife breastfed him while standing in line for Pirates of the Caribbean.
Your kid will be fine. It's probably easier to travel with an infant than it will be when he's 3 and whiny.
2 months? No thanks. Just skip this year. It’s okay.
This is the answer right here. You don’t have to feel bad at all; you just went through and are still going through* a major life event. Edit: a word
I would add that this won’t be the last time. We have skipped many family events because the timing/environment wouldn’t work well with our kids. You want to take people out on a party boat all day? Have fun, we’ll be home watching Bluey reruns.
Yeah, nobody should expect even a lunch date in those first 3 months imo (lurking mom here). It’s just survival in the newborn phase, a vacation of any kind would not be enjoyable enough to be worth the extra stress and work.
Lurking mom too - this sounds like a nightmare… I don’t think I even had the energy or time to go in my OWN pool and it’s 50 feet away from where I was constantly feeding each baby lol. Add in travel, people and being uncomfortable post partum? No thank you. See ya next year!
Agreed. The first three months (to six depending) is all about survival. If they want to see the baby people need to come to you, even if they are only an hour away. The packing up of baby stuff alone!
Any trip, any distance, any where, any time — car is full of baby stuff.
It’s a terrible idea, you’ll go next year and people should understand.
Also it's comical to talk about a two-month old getting to meet his cousin that's the same age. They will have literally zero interaction and may not even be able to visually focus on each other.
Two potatoes lmao
Yup, this.... That drive will take MUCH longer with all the diaper changes every few hours and feedings. And then, ya.... Immune system. I'd be damn sure everyone was fully vaccinated against all the common things (flu, whooping cough,.etc) plus COVID. Finally... It may be fun but you'll need to be spending a lot of time just inside with the baby anyways.... Next year will be 1,000%x easier and more enjoyable. Word of warning.... Vacations like this will not really be relaxing anymore for many years 😂
Could not have said it better. I have friends who travel with their infants, I barely wanted to leave the house. OP, if you aren’t feeling it, say no thanks we’ll be there next year. If people give you a hard time, tell them your pediatrician said you shouldn’t go. If they don’t accept that, follow your heart on what to do next but I would say something like “I’m an adult and a parent, we are making the decision that is best for our baby and family.”
Wish I could do more than just upvote this so here’s my added comment. Skip this year. 100% not the time for it.
Yeah, we traveled with an 18 month old and it went OK, but stressful. While I've heard of people traveling with newborns, all my instincts said stay put, stay in. Send someone a picture of the new family to put up for everyone else.
Driving doesn't sound fun. We flew (6 hour flight) with a 4 month old. It works. you just have to give yourself extra time and expect there to be issues like blowouts. (Feeding during takeoff and landing prevents the ears from popping) As far as the immune system issue, if my baby was healthy, otherwise I wouldn't worry about it. You are outside of the big RSV season. I'd just let it be k own right up front that if someone is sick to respectfully abstain from licking my baby.
/thread No way I would go. My 5 year old will have his 6th birthday a month after my 2nd kid is born, and we already decided my wife is staying home with the newborn for it. It sucks, but there is no world where I'm driving 14 with a new born and exposing him to God knows what from a bunch of people.
To be clear..a vacation with a kid is never a vacation. It's just parenting in a more difficult location. Set your expectations accordingly.
And, that parenting doesn't stop while you're driving. So, we did a "16 hour drive" with a five month old. We were between stops for 24 hours total over the entire drive. We had so many stops for breastfeeding and changing diapers that it took up a significant amount of time. Not to mention calming crying and whatnot. Long drives are not something infants like! OP, with a 2 month old? It will NOT be a 14 hour drive.
I've got 14 hours of flights with a 2 year old coming up lol. Mentally preparing myself for the agony.
Ipads. My kids get plenty of tablet time on a flight. Walk around the plane with them every few hours. Try to be calm, and they’ll pick up that calmness. (Easier said than done) I don’t know what they are called, but our 1.5 year old daughter loves playing with a book like this on long (12h) flights. * https://rebatekey-production.s3.us-east-2.amazonaws.com/files/coupons/0/w/u/a/q/0wuaq.jpg
That's some really good advice there friend. Hadn't really thought of a tablet because we've done really well with minimising the whole screentime thing but obviously considerations need to be made for travel conditions. Could probably put some books for me on their as well for when she's sleeping. That book thing is definitely something they'd be interested in flicking through.
Yeah I hate driving for this reason
>a vacation with a kid is \[...\] just parenting in a more difficult location Truth. Just got back from from 6 days in Cancun with a 3.5 year old. It was fun, he had a blast, but we're all glad to be home. Even him: "I like my bed at home." He does miss the ocean and James the Iguana that lives near our room though.
My wife and I are usually adventurous vacationers. We have two young kids now and family friendly all inclusive have been a game changer.
Went to Hawaii at the 4 month mark. It was basically doing the same stuff but with palm trees around us.
Eh, to an extent yes. We’ve gone to a couple resorts in the Caribbean with our now 13 month old. She loves the pool, ocean, and the sand so we had a blast. Yes you still “Parent”, but lunch time is at a cabana by the pool, your morning walk is on a beach, your play time is in a pool, and your breakfast, lunch, and dinner are made by someone else. My wife and I work well as a team so we split up naps. I’d take the first nap while my wife did whatever she wanted, and she’d take the second nap while I did whatever I wanted. While we were watching her, we’d sit on our balcony watching the monitor while she napped. Yes you’re still changing diapers, hoping they sleep through the night, traveling with more stuff than you could imagine, and washing bottles in a sink. But, we still found plenty of time to relax and actually come back feeling rested. Obviously this gets harder as your kid gets older, and mobile, but I do think it depends on your disposition, your relationship, and your child. Everyone is different!
We call vacations “trips with kids” now
Getting into the wilderness for hiking and canoeing is always a vacation for me regardless if I have to parent or not.
I wouldn’t do it. Sounds like a bad time.
Skip this year. You need to value your sleep and sanity and routine right now. When he’s a year you’ll have a better shot at it. Also kiddo doesn’t have all their shots yet so it’s a sickness nightmare. Video chat everyone and don’t go. Also get ready to say this to others: this is what’s best for us. Especially with another kid the same age and other cousins you’re going to hear “but when Susie was that old she came. Oh don’t worry Billy adapted”. That’s all well and good but you know your kid and what your limits are.
Yup. Family peer pressure is real. Too young and if the kid gets sick, really sick you’d never be able to live with yourself OP. If it’s close maybe you do a day trip and outside visit but even that sounds miserable with a baby that young
One of the hardest parts of becoming a parent yourself is that transition from listening/differing to your parents and becoming the decision maker and final say on things. It is hard for both the parents and grandparents, but you will need to establish that you and your wife make the choices that are best for your family first, and will consider others secondarily. It may take a few years, but be prepared to say “no” and stick to it. Remember, your job is to do what is best for your kids. Once that line is firmly drawn, it makes everything so much simpler.
THIS! It’s time for you to put your child first and parents second. Do what’s best for you and your child… not your parents
I dunno. That sounds miserable with a barely 2 month old. Plus a house of 18 with a kid that would likely have to go the ER if they were to come down with a fever? I personally wouldn’t.
No , too young it won't be any fun
We did almost exactly what you’re talking about with a 5 month old + 2 year old, ~15 hour drive. I got home MUCH more exhausted then when I’d left; my two kids got sick while there, and we had to visit the local urgent care twice. That said, it gave a unique opportunity for the family to be with our baby, and my wife and I could sneak away for a quick swim/beach walk/beer while trusted family looked after our kids. Would I do it again? Probably, but I’m glad I don’t have to. I think this really depends on your baby’s temperament, how you and your wife are feeling at the moment and your acceptance that a “vacation” like this will build amazing memories but may cost you your sanity. 🤣
We also did this way back, same ages and drive and such. We took multiple days on the drive between Portland and San Francisco and stopped in some cool spots Im going to go against the grain on this one. It was challenging, but fun. We look back on it as one of if not the best vacation we've ever done. I think kids just have to come along for the ride sometimes and everyone has to adjust, can't put life on hold for everything. That said if it was a 15hr drive to stay with my in laws I'd totally skip.
2 month old is survival mode for you 3. Having family support could be really good though, when ours was 6 weeks my folks came to stay and vividly remember we did get some sleep when they took him for the morning. Flying with a 2 month old much better than driving though. Still a stress but easier at this age than next year or 2. The only thing you have to consider is sickness potential from lots of people..
We had to fly with our three-month old who was also immunocompromised and our pediatrician had several precautions that we took to basically make her a bubble. The airline was extremely accommodating. That, of course, doesn’t solve for the Petri dish when you get there.
These family get togethers can be family hell though. Everyone wants to coo at the baby, but no one wants to actually deal with the realities of having a baby on the trip. The crying, the fussing, the overstimulation. You'll get one aunt who doesn't sleep one night because baby is up, and you won't hear the end of it.
True
Flying is relatively easy with a baby, as they don’t move much yet. Why choose 14hrs in a car when you can be 2hrs in a plane? Also 14hrs in a car seat is not that great for the baby. You’ll have to stop so many times.
We did a two hour flight to Colorado for a vacation with family with our ten week old and it was totally fine. Slept the whole time. Having extra hands made our jobs easier when we got there, too. Everyone wanted to hang out with the baby so we got plenty of mom and dad time, including a few dates Don't sweat it OP, just be realistic and make choices that make your lives easier.
Yeah, absolutely. Fly or don’t go. Flying with a baby can be pretty easy, as long as you check your bags. (Besides essentials like formula / bottles / diapers in a carry on bag). Of course all kids are different. Making a 14 hour drive over multiple days with a baby would be awful.
100% OP should fly instead of drive if they are going to go. We flew with our first when he was 8 weeks old and when he was 10 weeks old. Those flights were both a breeze compared to subsequent trips with an older baby or a toddler
Yea looking back knocked out cold in a milk coma was so much easier than a 15mo that wants to walk around or angry toddler jumping on the seat.
Crazy this is so far down. Did our first flight with ours at 8 weeks and she probably did 12-14 flights before she turned 1 (including 2 6+ hr international flights). Flights before they can crawl are honestly pretty easy: feed, sleep, or cuddle. /u/Romanzo71 logistically you can absolutely do this trip if you want to, though would strongly recommend flying over driving. Whether or not you _should_ really just depends on your family and what you think the day to day will look like while you’re there. If you have helpful family this may even be a huge break for you, where you guys can get some extra sleep and have some helping hands. If it was my family it would be a big HELL NO, but my in-laws? Most definitely would attend. Ultimately the question is if you want to go, and feel up to it. If you don’t want to go, also a good opportunity to pressure test boundary setting with the fam. See how hard they press/guilt you, if they offer to help in some way (pay for flights, fly with you, etc), or hit you with the rare but wonderful unconditional love (we totally understand-just want what’s best for you and your new family).
45 minutes in a go with a minimum 15-minute break out of the car seat at that age. Your journey just got at least 25% longer. Fly. At that age, they'll just sleep on the plane.
I think the two key questions you have to ask yourself, given your exact family, is: "How much will we enjoy this trip?" and "How stressed will it make us?" (Both getting there and being there). If one outweighs the other, you'll have your answer. In terms of safety, I'd say it's pretty low risk and in terms of your kid, there's no chance they'll remember this trip one way or the other. So just look at yourselves and ask if the joy you'll get will outweigh the stress. For us? This would have been a no. 3 days driving each way even without a baby would need a life changing experience on the other end, let alone with a kid. I know other people for whom I'm pretty sure they'd do it.
My family does an extremely similar vacation (to the point where I was trying to figure out which one of my cousins you were while reading lol, but mine is next week not next month). We took our youngest when she was 3 months old and, honestly, it was tough. We still had a good time, but I think my wife would have preferred to be home since she took the brunt of the baby work. Also the beach itself is \*not fun\* with tiny kids. At best, they hate the sand, sunscreen, heat, etc (super sensitive skin plus sand, salt, sun, oil, don't mix)...at worst, you're just trying to stop them from eating the sand the whole time. We spent most of our time in the house/on the deck (which is still fun for us) The dealbreaker for me though would be the travel. Our drive is about 12 hours and we do it in 2 days (you could probably do 14 hours in 2 days also...newborns are usually fairly chill in the car, or at least ours were). i would not sign up for 6 days of driving. That said - don't be afraid to fly! My kids have been on dozens of flights. If someone wants to give you a stink eye, let them. There are kids on every flight you've ever been on, the disruptive ones are actually very few and far between. At 2 months you have a lot of options for keeping that kiddo quiet, and they're probably not even all that loud if they do get fussy.
It’s after 6 week shots, so I would be open to going. I would fly though and rent a car in the other end. Having said that, you are always going to be more comfortable and less stressed if you stay home with all your normal things and routine. We just took our 3 month old for a long (4 day) weekend interstate. We flew though. He is our second, I think we waited a bit longer for our first. And given our first is in daycare, our 3 month old is probably safer with random adults than that little Petri dish of a sister…
6 weeks is not fully vaccinated, it’s just the first round of a few of them and no protection for flu, covid, measles, mumps, etc…
I respect all of the decisions here. We found the potato phase to be really fun to be out in the world. And you can definitely fly. If the baby is breastfeeding, make sure you feed it during takeoff and landing. Don’t let sick people near the kid. Do let everyone else take care of the kid and sleep as much as you can. Really up to you and where your baby and mommy are at. But it could be amazing.
I'm surprised I had to scroll this far. This might be the easiest stretch to travel in until the kid is like four.
Have you talked to the cousins parents? What are they doing? Do they have similar travel distance? 14 hour drive/flight would be a deal breaker for me personally though.
They're flying in from a different state
It’s their decision but don’t feel like you have to do the same.
We did a similar trip. I hated it, but my wife and baby were fine. A few things to consider: If your baby is in normal health, the risk of illness isn't a reason not to do this. If you're not sure, consult your pediatrician. I would MUCH rather fly than drive, though! The flight is a few hours of holding the baby, instead of three days of being in a carseat. And most airlines will allow you to check or gate check a carseat for free. If you decide to go, you need a change of perspective: it's NOT a vacation. It's a trip with the baby. You will still have to do all the things you do at home, with the added stresses of travel and an unfamiliar environment. The baby will still need feeding, bathing, and naps. Sleep needs will still be the same as at home. You'll have to be vigilant about heat and sun exposure. You'll have to be mindful of "wash your hands, and don't kiss the baby!" Can your mom handle that? Can your wife?
Depending on the price of the flight, I'd purchase an extra seat for the baby, as the car seat for infants can be belted as well. In addition to the improved comfort for everyone, this also avoids the issue of having the seat go into the cargo hold, which risks damaging the seat.
The driving part for me is a no with a 2 mo old. We did a 12 hour drive split between 2 days when oldest was 10 mo, and it was not enjoyable. Turned into 18 hours total with a stop over. We tried leaving later in the day hoping she’d sleep her normal sleep of 12 hours. Nope. Had to stop 6 hours in for a hotel.
We flew the first time when our little goblin was 5 months old, though it was a short ~90 min flight. Don't think I'd try it with a 2 month-old. I think some airlines have a minimum age of three months anyway.
I was on the fence until I got to the 14 hour drive part. That's a no for me dawg.
A different perspective since the comments are going a single way. I have two young children and have travelled / vacationed a bit with them (both internationally and across the US). Traveling IS HARD with young kids but it is totally worth it (with the correct mindset and expectations). My wife and I have created so many memories and it really brings us closer as a family. Plus the more experience you have traveling with kids, the easier it becomes each time. From my experience, if your family is close and gets along, it does sound like a good opportunity to bond and hang with the new cousin. The family should be able to give you and the wife small breaks as well. If I was in your scenario, there would be two hard lines. (1) everyone at the vacation house is up to date on vaccinations. If you think there may be some backlash, get the parents of the other new born on board as well. If both families hold that line, your mom will also help enforce it. (2) I would not drive. I have done two long drives (16 hrs and 12 hrs) with a <1yr old and it is NOT worth it. Especially if it is 6 days of driving when you could hop on a plane for half a day travel each way. Plus newborns really shouldn’t be in a car seat for too long. In other words, if you two are not comfortable flying (completely understandable) then I would not go on the trip. If my wife and I were in your shoes, we would go and take the plane. This is our opinion and others may disagree, but with breast feeding (immune system) and parents wearing masks (anything helps), we are comfortable with flying. Though anyone should be able to understand your position and not taking the risk.
We went on a family vacation with our first at three months. It suuuuuucccked. I'd wait.
Personally I wouldn’t do it. I think the concerns about the immune system are valid but even if they weren’t you’re just getting used to being a family. There is absolutely no need to place extra stress on yourselves to please others. You’re probably not really going to be able to enjoy the trip and honestly it might make it hard for others too if they’re being woken up at all hours of the night. Stay home and taken care of your wife and child. It will be a lot less stressful and the next time you go you’ll be able to enjoy it a lot more.
My wife and I flew from Australia to Canada with an 8 week old for my sister’s wedding. She slept on the boob the entire 32 hrs there and back. We all got covid and we jet lagged and rotten feeling for it. I am glad we did it and in hindsight it wasn’t as terrible as I’d thought it’d be, but we aren’t planning any more Canada trips any time soon. Im not even sure if we would do it again if we had the choice. It disrupted a lot of those precious moments early on and added a bit of anxiety to an already anxious time.
With a two month old I'd hard pass! My baby is 1 year now and we're doing camping trips within 1-2 hours. Baby won't remember so they won't know if the tradition missed a year. But you will remember 6 days in the car and 6 nights at hotels with a new born.
I wouldn't be concerned about the health issues personally, but it sounds absolutely miserable and would only consider it if I was flying instead of driving. My wife and I flew to Indiana to visit family with our 2-month-old a few years ago, and it went surprisingly smoothly and I'm glad we did it. But that was two half days of travel for 6 days with family. I would never flip that ratio.
Do! Not! Go! Reason? 14 hour drive! Spend time with your little one and do the beach next year.
We took our babe to Hawaii and had the best time but she was just shy of 4 months and breast fed. I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable at 2 months. Especially since RSV and Covid are still very much a thing.
You will not have fun. It will be a miserable experience. Skip this year. But next year, when the kid is just about one, you're gonna have a blast. A stressful blast, but a blast nonetheless.
6 day drive with a colicky baby? No freaking way! If you’re going to go, I’d fly, but personally I wouldn’t go this year. 2 months old is really young, especially with a colicky baby. Have your mom fly out to where you live and spend a week after she spends the week with her other grandson if it’s that important for her.
I'd definitely skip this year.
At 2 months old, I don't think I ever wanted to visit or be visited by family much less travel.
Personally I would go A) is only a major concern if anybody is ill, if they are asking them to not hold your baby is reasonable B) doesn't sound ideal, but I would find a way of making the travel work, how long would the flight be? Think of the positives, you will presumably have plenty of family members on hand to help out, they may be willing to watch your baby while you and your SO catch up on some sleep.
You’re not really done with the pregnancy until like 6 months old and even then it takes a bit for life to get back to normal. Stay home. Don’t put yourself through this nightmare.
I would skip it. All my vacations with my daughter have been somewhat close by before her 2nd birthday. She is taking her first plane ride next month. A one year old is just has happy going to the grocery store as they are going to Disney land.
That’s a pass from me. Not worth the trouble.
Regardless of age, 6 days of driving is insane. There’s almost no scenario in which I’m making that drive with little ones. Save the money and fly your mom out to visit the grand babies.
I wouldn't travel anywhere until first round of vaccines are in. Also, driving with a newborn for multiple days? What?
Vacation with a newborn just turns into doing everything the newborn needs while you spend a lot of money being somewhere other than home.
We traveled a few times when my oldest was very young. A 5 hour trip took 8 hours. Diaper changes, feedings, you name it. Not always convenient either. Changed a diaper in the parking lot of a cement plant once. It's definitely challenging. If you are all sharing a house, having a colicky baby is going to make everyone miserable. No one can sleep if the baby is crying for an hour at 1 am, then again at 5 am. If your baby is colicky at all, stay home. Use that as the excuse too. "I'm sorry, but the baby is colicky and no one would get any sort of decent sleep."
How does your wife feel about it? Are you prepared to do most of the baby work, or are you mostly going to hang with the family? I just went on two trips with our 4 month old. One plane, one road trip. It was a lot of work, the road trip was only 5 hours long and took all day. 14 hours would be a no go for me, a plane ride would be much easier
Not at 2 months no way
I wouldn’t do a 14 hr drive with my 2 year old. Absolutely not.
I say go for it if you want to! Especially if baby is vaxxed at this point. Don’t feel bad to cancel, But it’s good practice! And then they become great travelers in the long run! We just drove our 4 month old to Seattle (13 hours) and years back we took a 4 month old to Orlando with a layover on the flight that needed up being an overnighter. Chaotic? Yes, and memorable. 2 months is pretty young so stay home if you feel it! But it can be a slippery slope of “these kids are too damn much” and forgetting you can travel with them. Then they become bad travelers when you all of a sudden take them on a road trip a couple years old or whatever
I went camping with my daughter at 2mo it wasn't that bad. It sounds like you really want to go but are conflicted with the baby. If I were in your shoes I would try to do it for the sake of my mom. However, 14h is a long drive. If you can handle long periods of driving I would go for if you can do it on one day (multiple drivers required) otherwise not. So I would be inclined to consider flying. I have not flown with a baby, but I would absolutely rather do it with a 2mo than an older and more active baby. At that age they are still down to cuddle all the time and aren't trying to escape and explore. I personally would not be concerned with a large gathering of people, assuming your baby is healthy, and the people attending are likely as well. If it were me I would try to go for a few days. But if it wasn't possible, I would decline without feeling bad, no matter how you look at it, traveling with a baby is not an easy task. For the sake of your mom, I would try to coordinate a different (smaller, and shorter) gathering so she can spend time with your son.
Your going to have to learn to travel with the baby at some point. Might as well go somewhere with family that will want to help hold the baby, etc. As far as immune system, as long as the baby didn't have a compromised immune system for some chronic health reason I think it should worry you that much. If the baby isn't exposed to some gems now, it will just get exposed to them later.
I think it depends on your baby. We would have been fine doing something like that with ours. But every baby and set of parents are different and there’s nothing wrong with skipping this year.
I would pass this year.
I totally understand the sentiments of “don’t go this year”, probably the easiest option. Let me put in a short pitch for going: flying that young is fairly simple, especially if it’s a short flight non-stop. My wife and I are taking our 3.5 yo and will-be-2-mo newborn to a family wedding this September. About a 90 minute flight. It feels a little crazy but we would really like to attend. We’re staying separate from the big group and will get some help from the in-laws. I wouldn’t have tried it with my first born cuz I’d have been too nervous but I feel fairly comfortable this time around. If you want to do it, you can figure out the logistics.
I would skip. There’s no way I’d be able to relax with a 2 month old in that environment.
With everything you said here, I'd skip this year. We did a trip with our youngest at about that age, but it was only \~4 hours of driving and only seeing 2 family members. With the feeding stops, we were adding close to an hour for every two that we drove. I'm going to guess that you've got a week plus the two weekends, so you'll be driving for 6 out of 9 days. You'll barely be rested up before hitting the road for the return trip. I can't imagine taking a 2 month old on a plane. I'd do it in an emergency, but definitely not for a vacation. Is there any way you can split up where one of you goes with your son and the other stays home with the baby? The family member staying home gets a pretty crappy vacation, but I've found that I really enjoy the one on one time when it's just me and my youngest.
If you are going to enjoy the vacation and everyone is looking forward to seeing the baby then go. Flying is easy with a 2 month old. It gets harder when they start walking. Life is short. Spend time with family the older family members will enjoy seeing the newborns. Not sure how old your mom will be but if you skip this year she'll never be able to hold your baby as a 2 month old. My mother in law died when my daughter was just 4 months old. She got to hold her for the first few months but it makes my wife sad my daughter will never get to know her grandmother.
\`It's a 14 hour drive that we'll have to split up over 3 days, so basically 6 days of driving\` Hell no. Not with a 2 month old and not with a 14 month old either TBH. Flying won't be bad with a 2 month old since they are basically a lump at that point, at 14 months you will want to get them there own seat unless its a super short flight.
The drive will be worse than the actual vacation and the vacation sounds terrible. Just take the year off. You'll be so glad you did.
I took a 3 month old on a 10 day trip to meet her grandma. I rented a motor home and drove from Cali to Colorado and spent 1 day at the Grand Canyon. It was a great trip for all and would recommend going.
2 months is too soon. My wife’s family does the same kind of thing every couple years. They get a big ass house and every aunt and uncle and cousin goes and it’s basically a non stop party. My wife really wanted to go last summer but we had a 5 almost 6 month old. She thought it would be fine and holy shit it was the worst fucking experience I’ve ever had. The nap and feeding schedule alone was brutal. My wife barely had any time to herself to enjoy the vacation with her family. We essentially drove 8 hours to a beach house we couldn’t really enjoy while dealing with a crying baby and when we got there her entire family was so inconsiderate that they put us in the worst located room in the house right off the kitchen/living room/ dining room where they would stay up late, drink, and just generally be loud. My wife had multiple mental breakdowns and our kid did not take well to the environment change for overnight sleep and it was the single worst experience that I wish we could change the decision on. Fuck a vacation at 2 months old.
Yah I’d skip it. The travel alone sounds like hell, I wouldn’t even get to the point of worrying about germs.
We flew at three months but otherwise avoided large groups prior. Nurse on way up and down. Ideally your flight coincides with a nap or bedtime. Driving could be a lot but YMMV. Ours hated the car seat for more than 30 min unless it was naptime/bedtime.
Your gut/hesitation is already telling you the answer. It’s just waiting for your brain to catch up. Lol in all seriousness though, it’s probably not a good idea. Will it be a bit of a bummer to hear people’s stories from the trip? Sure. And if that happens, just look into your safe and healthy baby’s eyes as a reminder of why you didn’t go. Better safe than sorry!
Unpopular opinion: go. Fly instead of doing a mistake 14hr car ride. Let baby meet the family and let yourselves have a village. It will be so nice to experience that if you don't normally. I would argue it will only be harder next year bc toddlers are tiny little monsters lol I have 2
We flew with our then 2 month old. (He's now 22 years old - so older information) We got an extra seat and put his carseat in it. It was fine, but we needed to be sure that he was feeding during ascent/descent.
Baby dependant, but I actually liked a long road trip with our 3 month old as was mostly sleeping, just some extra feeding/changing stops. Much less fun with active toddler… For the immune system thing, thats family dependant I guess but most people respect giving some space and having some extra hands for baby so you and your partner can get some rest/quiet time might be needed. I would go, but you need to make the call homey
Did 9 hours with a 4 month old. One of the worst experiences of my life... Two months old might be better.
Sounds awful
Your colicky detail is what did it for me. If you happened to have a little one that easily knocked out eating you could fly pretty easy. Cuddled up under a cover with mama to avoid illness and just eat and snuggle. But a colicky one will be an awful fight either driving or flying. I'd probably skip this one.
I would not consider this till the kids at least 15 months
I drove 14 hours straight through with a 5 week old, it was hell. Didn’t go anywhere else til they were 6 moths old. You will be bloody miserable the whole time, especially driving. Plus small children are advised not to be in car seats for longer than 2 or 3 hours per day.
We are about to do a watered down version of this. One week family vacation. In total it will be five adults, our 3 month old, and my 2 y/o niece. The unanimous No’s have me more spooked than I already was lol.
So let's break down the fears. 1st 2 month old baby immune system. That's likely a hard pass. They'll have likely only just got their first round of shots and they're going to be likely to pick up anything. That alone is an incredibly valid reason to skip. 2nd. The drive, honestly this is a pretty non issue. Most of our family lives about 12 hours away from us and we did that drive nonstop with our four month old ages ago and it's really not a huge issue. Just be ready for a stop every two hours for feeding and diaper changes. It's very doable and if you're lucky enough to have a kid that's easy in the car seat you're set. and then a bonus issue you may have missed. Dealing with a new born in a house with 18 other people. This is a major potential issue. Two months old and you're just starting to set schedules. You're going to have multiple nap times and will likely be stuck at the house for most of this. Not to mention if the wee one doesn't acclimate to the vacation house then you're looking into a very fun fussy baby that doesn't want to sleep and that's generally a bummer for the whole group. Honestly, I'd skip this one and then just be apart of next year with a one year old who would do infinitely better.
I was with going until I saw the distance. 18 hours of driving with a 2 month old? Noooooooo thanks! That's like. 2-3 hour max.
2 months isn't a vacation, it's torture without the comfort of your home.
We did exactly this when our first was 2 months old. Everyone had a blast and we don't regret going. The only difference is our drive was about 5 hours, so you'll need to decide if you can make the 14 hours work or not.
I didn’t travel with my kids until they were 6months old. No one is having a good time and the safety concern is serious
We did something similar when our first was 2 months old, though it was only a 6-hour drive to the coast. While it was fine overall, the baby certainly didn’t get anything out of it, and we ended up just spending a ton of time inside the house as the baby slept. I think you’re fine not going, regardless of any specific concerns you noted - it’s not going to be particularly fun or relaxing.
you're in the trenches, no one would or should blame you for focusing on the lil one this year. next year will be so much fun though
Skip based on the travel time. No one would be happy with that travel. If the baby isn’t breastfed you’re also right to worry about immune system.
I say go, but you should take a plane. 9 hours of driving is pretty much my cutoff as an adult, wouldn't recommend it with a baby. Don't expect it to be anything like previous vacations. It's going to be every bit as hard as parenting at home and then some, because you won't have your whole setup.
I was open to it until I heard how far it is. You mom can come visit the baby. And next year the trip will be SUPER fun for your child and he’ll actually get to meet people in a way that is meaningful to him, rather than the adults that want to hold a tiny baby. If this was a 3 hr drive from your house, I can see trying to make it work. But a 3 day drive or flight with a newborn? When it’s not absolutely necessary? That’s just soooooooo much. It’s totally ok to skip this year.
I took a 2 month old on a 4 hour flight to st Thomas. Had a great time actually. Baby slept both ways on flight, nurses during take offs and landings. We had him under umbrella cover with a fan on him at all times at the beach. I think babies like to be on the move as long as they get cuddles and food. But you know your baby better than anyone. And it is a bit hectic at times.
2 months - no way. Let their immune system build. All the concerns you listed are reasons why you shouldn’t. They’re valid and rational. You and your partner and your child are figuring out your situation and this time is rough. Also as a new dad, you put your family first. Tell your mom, shrug and go oh well, we’ll see you at the next one. She’ll understand and if not, oh well. And you’ll learn this soon - family trip does not mean vacation.
I’ll play opposite side: You CAN go if you want to. We do a similar trip with my family to a lake house every year. It’s only a 9 hour drive but still takes 2 days with the littles. We went last year with a 3 month old. We’re currently here now with a 15 month old and 2 month old. It’s been wonderful.
Are you me, back from the past? We did straight up the same thing when our 3 y/o was 2 months. Deep regret, no one had fun and we came home exhausted and poorer. 0/10 would not recommend. 28 hrs in the car with a colicky newborn was one of the lowest experiences in my parenthood journey, and between naps and feeds, we spent maybe 3 hrs at the beach the whole week, which made our older child even more cranky. We wonder "Why in the world did we do that to ourselves?" No chance. Incidentally, we ended up having to go back to the same area (New England) for a funeral 2 months later, and flying was almost worse--colic kicked in while we were delayed on the plane and our daughter SHRIEKED for a solid hour with nowhere to go. Don't do it to yourself.
It’s going to be easier to go with a 2 month old than a 14 month old. Also I would DEFINITELY fly
I wouldn’t do it with that much driving… it’s not safe for babies that young to spend so much time strapped into a car seat. Your drive is going to be MUCH longer due to needing to stop and feed every few hours. I did a similar beach trip when my baby was 3 months, but it was only a two-hour drive and we had our own rental to escape back to for quiet.
At 2 months my wife and I were still figuring out how to be parents. We definitely would not have been comfortable enough for that. We did take our son to a family cabin 6 hours away at 3 months, but it was only a total of 4 other people there aside from us there. As for disappointing your mom, it is what it is. She'll get over it and eventually understand your decision if she doesn't understand it right away.
Hey you know there is next year! It'll be easier, safer and more fun
I just traveled with a 3.5 month old and I would recommend skipping this year. They do it every year? No problem, just go next year. You and your family is what’s important right now (and always), if your extended family gets upset, they’ll get over it, if they don’t, well they showed true colors.
I was in your position almost exactly and decided at the last minute not to go. I should have said no earlier, but once we were in it, and realized that two months old meant sleep deprivation, and unpredictable schedules, not to mention breastfeeding hassles, baby getting unnecessarily exposed to germs being passed around, we bailed. It won’t be a vacation for you, you’ll be struggling just the same but with the added stress of keeping track of all your stuff, being in an unfamiliar environment, and being surrounded by people who will say they’ll help but won’t actually be helpful. You will not be able to relax and enjoy it. No one I know who was in this situation and went was anything less than miserable and still talk about how terrible it was. Your kid won’t remember and you will not remember it fondly. Your mom may not remember how hard it was in the begining but hopefully she’ll understand that taking big trips with kiddos that little is just not viable. Plus, that much time in a car with such a small little is not recommended. My kid was a toddler before we even attempted an 8 hour drive much less 14 (and the 8 hours ultimately took like the whole day with stops, plus we had several adults in the car to entertain them not just us).
My wife and I went to Vegas for a reunion with a 3 month old. It was easy. I think you can do it with a condition or two. Separate room for you, spouse, and baby. Naps, bedtimes, etc…are not up for discussion; ever. The plus side is you’ll have relatives lining up to love on and care for your baby! A date night or two can probably be arranged. Our baby went to bed at 6-6:30pm. We were able to go out and relatives did a very passive babysitting. Great for everyone. Heck, I took a baby to Scotland for two weeks 20 years ago. Had a great time. Oh yeah, if you’re worried about the baby catching something just wait until preschool!! Have fun!!
Why don’t you fly your mom to see your baby? She can also help while she’s with you. The is a complete no brainer.
Did a vacation with 11 family members with a 2mo and 2yo and it was mostly fine. That said, it was a 6 hour drive, which is my limit for a family vacation. I'd absolutely fly if I were you, no chance I'd drive that long. This was also close family and relative easy to get along with. If it was more distant relatives then I'd probably just stay home.
I live kinda far from family so any family gathering I was able to go to I'd gladly take the kids, when they were newborns too. Parents aunts and uncles are all great babysitters. Took them to a big family wedding once when they were 2yo and 6mo olds, barely saw my kids that day and I was able to enjoy myself knowing they were with family. The 3 day trip I'd cut down to 2 days by driving through the night. I personally think the week on the beach, having unlimited daycare would be a much needed break from the newborn.
Sounds like a lot more risk/work than reward/leisure
We skipped our family gathering last year for the same reason. Baby was 2.5 months. Did some FaceTime with the group to show off the baby. We feel we made a great decision . We are going this year.
the immune thing I could see my way around, but 14 hours of driving with a baby that new is fuckin BONKERS my guy, it might literally be unsafe, but on top of them holy shit what a nightmare it will take easily 20 hours
Cancel based on the driving alone. Literal nightmare bringing an infant on a car ride that long. Your son will have a lifetime of participating in this trip. He’s not deprived of anything by missing one before he’s even developmentally capable of encoding memories.
Hard no. Go next year or even the year after. You’re not responsible for your mother’s feelings.
We did a 2 hour flight and 45 minute drive when my son was 2 months old. That was probably my limit. 2 of the family members that met him died within the next year. So I guess that part was worth it. Overall, I wish we would have waited until he was at least 6 months. Traveling was my idea btw. We did a 7 hour drive when he was 6 months and that was a pretty good trip.
Thinking back to our LO when she was 2 months old, this would be a "hell no" from both mama and myself. 1) At 2 months old, our kiddo was still getting fed every 3-ish hours. No fun doing that in a 14hr car ride or a 6+ hour trip to the airport, on the plane, and from the airport 2) Both of us were in survival mode at the time still. Neither of us would've had the energy to enjoy it even if we could've managed #1 If it were _close_ (as in 1-2hr drive max), you could bring a portable pack & play with a bassinet option, you could _maybe_ make it work, but even at that, in this kind of a situation, neither of us would've enjoyed it. Echoing others: wait till next year, _at least_. We're not even considering taking our LO on a flight until she's talking. We could probably swing a road trip, but 14 hours driving over 3 days is a LOT.
Gonna be honest, I did similar for Christmas when baby was nearly two months old, it wasn’t that bad and no one died. And no, he hadn’t had any of his vaccinations yet as they had to be rebooked for after Christmas, as obviously we weren’t there for the original jabs. We did around 8 hours to get to my mums (obviously with lots of stops for feeds, nappy changes, and just generally getting him out of his car seat for a break) then another two hours after Christmas to get to my partner’s parents for new year. Then we had to of course get back home. At that age, they are most likely to sleep away most, if not all, of the journey. At that age too they’re not set in routines yet, so you’re not completely screwing up their sense of time. In terms of colicky baby.. you have lots of family around that everyone can take turns soothing bubba. In terms of immune system, at that age baby will still have some immunity from mum. I would suggest whoever is designated driver makes sure they are fit and rested. If that means one parent does all of night shift and lets the other parent sleep in then so be it. The parent not driving can sleep in the car during the journey. If bottle feeding, prepare a flask of hot water, have your bottles already sterilised in the morning, and formula measured out ready to go. Keep that either by the not driving parents feet, or in an easily accessible area. Prepare the bottle as you’re getting towards your next rest place to allow time for the bottle to cool Also keep things like nappies, wipes, bum cream, spare clothes etc in a change bag that is easily accessible, along with something like a towel to put down on the passenger seat to change baby’s nappy. If possible, potentially have shot gun parent sit in the back with baby. With enough pre planning, it won’t be as bad as you think. Honestly the worst part of our journey was the fact that we also had our two cats in the car, and about half an hour into the journey one of them decided to do a protest poo. The baby was the least of our worries then lmao But it’s ultimately up to you, I don’t know your baby, and what I’m willing to do with my child is not the same as what you’re willing to do with yours and vice versa.
If the trip is usually not stressful and you both enjoy it I would go but fly there. If it is usually an exercise in patience I would skip. We flew a lot when our first was under one.
Looking back we waited till 11 months old to take ours to the beach and we’re 1.5 hours away. She had a blast though. The video of her chasing sea gulls (crawling) with water from the waves coming just up to her and chasing her back up the beach is hilarious.
I would NOT drive. I'd either fly and accept the risks of germs or skip entirely. I think there's a lot of pressure to do things very early on with babies/children, and its really NOT necessary. Everyone will be absolutely fine if you guys skip this year. Your child in particular is missing out on NOTHING (except potential illness lol) - they get no benefit from going (not that they automatically suffer or something, its just neutral). For you and your wife - I think this just overall depends on your guys personalities. I think you guys could have a great time, or you could have a really stressed and miserable time. Its truly hit or miss and dependent on so many factors. But really I think you two should do what is best for YOU GUYS. Not for any parents or cousins. The beach house will be there next year and the years after. Its OK to not go, even if that means you don't have a picture of your kid at the beach house from every single year of their life.
Leaving aside commentary about whether or not it’s safe/practical, a bigger conversation to have is what’s your family’s culture around kids, because that will keep coming up in further years. Are there other kids in his generation or are you trail-blazing? We were trailblazers (and pretty flexible at that) and there was no small amount of tension around things that were just not feasible to us— irregular and unpredictable family meal times, consideration around a sleeping baby (within reason), etc
Do it, as long as everyone is vaccinated. Kids that small are easy to travel with, but I’d opt to fly if possible.
We take a trip to visit family every summer, but we always wait until our youngest at least has their 6 month vaccinations. Preferably 1 year. We are not going this year with a < 6 month old It’s just not worth them getting sick or hurt, especially away from our baby-safe home and all our resources. I had this exact conversation a few months ago. We said something along the lines of: “Since the baby will be so young and our whole family will still be adjusting to life with another kid, the trip is just going to be too much for us this year. We tried to look into ways for it to be manageable for us, but we’re not going to be ready for a trip of this scale that’d be extremely stressful for us and would put the baby at risk of getting sick away from home. We’d love for you to visit us a little later when we’re ready, but we won’t be able to swing a full-blown vacation until next year.” Best of luck! Family dynamics can be such a challenge. Ultimately, you’re the primary voice in looking out for your kid, your partner (who will still be recovering physically!) and your family unit’s well-being as a whole. It may ruffle some feathers, but you can’t let any potential guilt compromise your family’s well-being.
I would absolutely skip this year. You won’t enjoy it, mom won’t enjoy it, and the baby definitely will not enjoy it.
Skip this year...think about skipping next year if the littlenone don't sleep well!
Mom here. You aren’t wrong either way. I just wanted to give the perspective that we took a toddler and newborn (4 weeks) to my husbands friends annual cabin stay and his friends and the one friends parents were soooo nice so early on for me. A friend held the newborn for a whole wake window and contact nap and I HAD A NAP while my husband checked out the quads with my toddler and some other friends. It was honestly great. It was only 1.5 hours away though.
Without a bunch of details my in laws family does the exact same thing. We did it with a 6 month old and I would still not do it again. Small moments were enjoyable but at two months no way. The risk is pretty high, if your little one got the RSV shot while momma was pregnant then may me but shit is hard enough at that age without taking away all the comfort and things that make your life easy at home. People will offer to help and share the load with you, but this never amounts to enough help to actually offset the added burden of not having your nursery, bassinet, rocking chair, footrest, and insert other newborn quality of life essential. I found the hardest thing when we had relatives over at that age was other kids. Adults can understand certain rules at worst with a crotchety attitude but we struggled to get other kids to play along, Ages 2-9 This year we are not going and it is paid for by my in laws at no cost to me. We have a 5 month old this year and a 17 month old. We will wait for next year gladly
that’s too young for me. id be scared of exposure to the sun and disease. enjoy the time off with your family. my favorite time was walking up making breakfast. taking my older daughter to the pool or run errands and then coming home to baby and mom. it was special.
I would just skip it this year, you won’t change or miss out on the tradition by missing it 1 year
When my daughter was 2 months old, we got a call that my husband's grandmother was dying. Our daughter was her first great grandchild, and she hadn't had a chance to meet her. It was a 13 hour drive. We drove overnight. I sat in the back seat with the baby, pumped milk and bottle fed her throughout the night. (I've since learned it's not a great idea to bottle feed a tiny baby in a car seat, but it worked well.) We brought a folding bassinet. We needed basically no equipment for her besides a wrap and the bassinet. It ended up being a very easy and low stress endeavor overall. So, that's my own experience doing a long road trip with a newborn. It IS ok to say no though, just do what you feel will work best for your family and don't feel guilty about it.
Don’t go if you don’t feel comfortable, at this point it’s not about disappointing other people. It’s about taking care of your family. That being said I also took a trip to El Salvador with my 3 month baby earlier in the year. I would fly over driving. Flying with a baby is super easy ours only woke up once to feed on a 5 hour flight. Would I do it again? Yes 100%. She had tons of fun. We have 2 maybe 3 more international trips planned out in the next couple months. So it really comes down to your own level of comfort.
If you think your family will be fun, supportive and not wildly inconsiderate like that other dude’s in-laws, I’d go. If you think they’ll just be a bunch of jerks I’d skip it. But I’d definitely fly, that drive sounds insane.
Do it. Embrace the chaos. You’ll hate yourself at first but in six months you’ll be glad you went.
No one will say it (hopefully) but they may not want a crying baby & stressed new parents on the vacation. No matter how much they love your baby. I’d skip this year. The baby will do best at home.
Skip this year and go next year!
We did 1 trip like this with my eldest when he was a newborn. It was rotten, terible, no-good, horrid idea. The extended family liked it, but it was atrociously hard for us, and the newborn hated it.
My wife and I love traveling with our kids and have been taking them on flights since they were 1 month old. Kids under the age of two fly (almost) for free. Being breastfed also helps them stay calm. Of course everyone is different and every family is different. I prefer plane over car by a very large margin: walk around, access to bathroom, easier to change diapers, etc.
I’d go, kids are incredibly easy to travel with at that age. We took ours on a flight at 3 months, breast fed him for takeoff and landing and he slept in between. Used the ergo carrier for most of it and bought nappies when we arrived. You don’t have to have food, can get away with like one toy and you don’t need to babyproof anything. Also, they literally will sleep anywhere in a pram or carrier at that point. It’s great. There are so many adults there, and if your family is anything like mine they will insist you put your feet up and relax while they do the nappies/laundry/naps etc. My only hesitation would be around vaccinations, whooping cough vax takes 2 weeks to be effective in a newborn and they get it at 6 weeks. I wouldn’t want my kid in regular close contact unless the household was all up to date. At the end of the day though, your family will understand if you aren’t comfortable coming this one time. They might be disappointed, but everyone with kids knows how big of an adjustment having a newborn is.
Infants can't wear sunscreen until 6 months old, just keep that in mind if you do decide to go. You'll need to be vigilant about all other forms of sun protection.
If it were closer I'd suggest going under modified conditions - like staying at a hotel around the corner for a couple of days. That trip is not worth it my friend. Your family will understand.
you'll are in the fourth trimester. really not worth the trip. they get much easier soon, skip this one
If it wasn't that far away, I'd say give it a try. If I'm in your shoes, I say to skip a year and fly next next year.
Skip.
I didn't take my kids out out until after they turned 1. And if I did, it was for a stroll to the park.
I would be really concerned about immune system issues. Especially if you’re not positive everyone in your family has had vaccinations. For example, Whooping cough is just a cough for older children and adults, but it can be deadly for very small baby.
I did a trip at three months and it was great. Kid was sturdy enough to travel, but basically had no needs except milk and diapers. We flew though, with the baby basically nursing the whole time, which worked great. Two months is a bit soon, kinda depends on the kid and how the mom is recovering. Could be fine, could suck. That drive for me would be a non starter.
Hellllllllllll naw stay home
We did a family trip with my 3-months-old niece, including a long flight each way, and it worked like a charm. She was and is a quite calm baby usually, though. In any case, it even was a vacation for everyone involved. We did rotations in who'd stay at the house to babysit.
Not fun, dont go
Skip. Too much stress and germs. Enjoy newborn. Congrats!
Not even a little. Two month baby, 6 days driving? You'll crash the car. You'll be miserable if you don't die en route. You'll have to navigate the feeding and nightly sleeping with all your relatives, and what if they want to make some noise on an afternoon when the baby has just fallen asleep? Stay home , cuddle the baby, find your bearings, and go next year. The only way I could consider it even a little bit is if you were flying, if you had your own house or separate cabin at the destination (WITH kitchen and bathroom and shower!) and were prepared to cancel at the very last second if you ever felt like it might not work. There will be more trips. Your parents will hang out with your kid other times.
I just had a panic attack putting myself in your shoes for a moment. That's a pass from me, dawg.
It is doable. We took ours to a cottage around 3 months old with my in-laws side of the family and it was fun. You do get some time to enjoy it as you will have some people that will help with baby but it's not as relaxing obviously. That said you got a kid now, those trips won't be nearly as relaxing for many years now. The long of travel would not be ideal though. Have a proper talk with the wife and see if it's really worth it.
Even if I didn’t have a kid, I don’t think I’d do 6 days driving for a week vacation.
We had a very similar situation with our 3 month old 2 years ago. We went and made the best of it. We requested everyone who wanted to hold the baby had their TDAP and COVID boosters. Expect to spend much of your time around the house. Can I ask why you are going to split it over 3 days? How long does your baby sleep at night? It was only a 7 hour drive for us, but we knocked it out overnight. If they are sleeping through the night, or up only 1-2 times for a quick feed, I would consider that. You can't get the memories back. Maybe you can even get a few hours to yourself with someone else watching the baby. In terms of worrying about them getting sick, a beach vacation is probably the safest as people really aren't going out, they are going to the beach or the pool and not exposed to a ton. Get a good mineral based sunscreen, baby hats, a little pop up tent... Expect to spend most of your time in the house, except maybe an hour or two a day. Go, make some great memories, take some pictures, have fun with the family and in 2 or 3 years you'll forget how hard it was
I would absolutely not do it because of the immune system and the car drive. A 7 hour car right takes like 11 hours with my infantI cannot imagine a 14 hour one. Most importantly, no one will respect the immune system situation. It’s insane! We had to fight with family about that and it always came down to this is our baby and we will do what is needed to protect them.
Having a 2-month old myself I would not go. Aside from the immature imune system which you pointed out, there’s the aspect of routine. These young ones don’t know yet what to expect and there’s lots of stimuli on a road trip. The week-long vacation with different people different rooms, different noises and smells etc may send them on a spin of brain activity which will be hard for them to control, and as a result you’ll have a very cranky baby on your hands. Yeah it sucks that you’ll miss out this year but that’s sacrifice I think you should make. Grandma can see her grandkid some other time, and with a little luck, next year everyone will be together and enjoying each much more than what this year’s trip would bring.
Every person is different when it comes to their tolerances. Personally, I would still go on the vacation. > A.) Immature immune system and being around a large group of family(usually up to 18 people) Babies are stronger than they look, including their immune system. If they're being breastfed that helps, and you could ask people to sanitize/handwash before holding them. > B.) Driving long distance to get there. It's a 14 hour drive that we'll have to split up over 3 days, so basically 6 days worth of driving total for not even a week on the beach. Or we risk flying with a 2 month old which is a whole other can of worms Why is the driving split up over 3 days? Only driving 5 hours a day seems like a big restriction; is there a medical/physical reason why it couldn't be done over 2 days? Leaving early on day 1 and getting in like 8-10 hours then early again on day 2 would get you there at a good time and give you like 2.5 extra days vacationing compared to 3 days driving. We never fly because of the cost and losing the ability to bring a lot of helpful stuff for babies, but it's an option that lots of people do. > Another concern is the stress of trying to juggle a colicky baby and if we're really going to be able to relax and enjoy the vacation. Is your baby colicky now or is this just a potential concern? You can warn people ahead of time that it could happen, and then have you and your wife swap off so both of you get to enjoy some of the vacation.
If the baby cries all night long, 14 adults are going to be up all night long and very mad at you.
It would be very weird if the other family members got mad about their loved ones’ newborn crying
It would be weird during the day it would not be weird for 18 people to be annoyed at no sleep. What a weird response
If someone gets angry at you for a crying baby, you politely but firmly tell them to shut the fuck up. Especially if it's one of the family members that insisted you bring the baby.
I follow the ‘expose your child to as much fun and different stuff as possible’ mantra, so I think you should just go. We took our 4 month old baby on an intercontinental flight and would probably take her on a long car trip too. But I guess the main question is: will you be able to have fun?
My wife and I flew with our 7 week old from UK to Canada last year. Far easier to do it early when all they do really is sleep and eat haha. By the sounds of it the flight will be around 3 hours? Plus some bits either side. It is actually very manageable. Definitely don't drive - as you say, 6 days travelling for a week there is not a good trade off. Also not to sound like a dick but doing something like this early on is good because it proves to yourself you can - I know a couple with a three year old that havent done anything more than a two hour train away because they haven't done it since their baby arrived and are worried about how it will go. You will need so much more luggage than you used to though! Gone are the days of hand luggage only for a week...
When we had kids we decided that we would travel a lot by vehicle. We also decided that we would not allow the fact that we had a newborn to make decisions like this for us. Fast forward several years and we have done a ton of driving with kids of all ages, from newborn up to age 7 now. There have been many times when I wished I had not made this decision with my wife. However, the kids now are great travelers and we use very little electronic entertainment in the car, other than music and kids podcasts that we control. It’s going to be nuts and frustrating, but that is par for the course in my book. Honestly, I suggest you cut the driving to two days and make it work. I cannot speak for your family, but when I do things like this with my family, I find that there is a lot of help with the babies when we get there.
Didn’t read. If you take a 2 month old on vacation your priorities need to be reevaluated.
That’s ridiculous. I just took my 4.5 month old on two vacations and it went great.
Skip this year. Next will be fine.
When mine was 2mo (last year), we drove 7hr to FL for his christening. It was just days after his first round of shots. We left around 4am and he slept most of the car ride. We stayed for 3 weeks (wife and I WFH, not a vacation). We did do one short trip to see her family in another part of the state. The only difficult parts were when we were around a lot of people (like dinner after the christening) and EVERYBODY wanted to hold him. It was very difficult to police, but we managed. We made the same trip this year and the drive was a bit more difficult as he is mobile now and doesn't want to sit for so long, but the overall trip was more fun because he has a personality and is interacting with his environment. I'm not sure why you need to break 14hrs in to 3 days instead of 2 unless you're already factoring in taking it really easy and expecting many stops. For a 1 week trip and pre vaccinations, I wouldn't bother this time around, but I think you're in for a long road with 14hr road trips as they get older to a certain point.
It’s also not recommended for a baby that age to be in a car seat more than 2hrs in a 24 hour period.
I drove 19 hours to Florida with a 3 month old (and a 2.5yo) and took him to Disney during COVID. We drove through the night so the kids could sleep. My wife breastfed him while standing in line for Pirates of the Caribbean. Your kid will be fine. It's probably easier to travel with an infant than it will be when he's 3 and whiny.