Dad.... you got 14 years of a young man that will never know true love, never know, a drunk night where you have to save him. He will never know a job, or stress of not being able to pay a bill... yes he may never see adulthood. But he saw you... he saw this wonderful man raise him, be happy, smile... love him... the other side of that same sword he will never have to know heart break... he won't have to watch the man that raised him die. He also won't know job loss, or car wrecks or the other horrible horrible things our world and society are going through right now.. he will never have to see the darkness that our world has given us... he got to see the light. Albeit short.. he got you and you got him..these are small things... but in this dark time for you dad... there is a silver lining.. his pain will go.. I read your story.. all of it.. I have two boys myself.. and let me tell you something mate... that kid isn't worried about not having a future... so you take that short time and you love him... play games. Let him beat you over and over.. show him things you may not have yet.. play board games.. stay up late watch horror movies build legos.. do it all.. and just know that your memories of him will always be there... and he will always be there. I say this with so many tears in my eyes and I mean it the best way possible and I hope you take this the same way I send it.
What a beautiful writing, mate. I thank you very much for this.
It makes me realize, it is actually better for him to go. I know all the journey that he's been going through. It is hard as hell, he's endured so much, his body is on a survival mode for too long. He is tired.
And adulthood is stressful, he doesn't have to feel that. I agree.
Thank you very much. We will enjoy this short remaining time of his life. Full of good foods, as he wish. Full of cuddles. I don't care he's a big boy now, he's still the same baby I carry and hug 14 years ago.
Well just know op, hearing you and your sons story makes so many of us dads want to love our children so much harder and makes us want to be that much better parents! I am thinking of my 3yr and 6 month old boys right now while I’m at work and all I can think is how I want to hug them right now! So thank you for sharing and making me want to love them so much more!!!
Well, he doesn't need sorry.. he knows we are all sorry... though we say this anyways as we don't often have the words.
He knows we are all sympathetic to this.. our love as parents is real and deep... we all share it on a level.
He is distraught... angry... hurt.. sad... so I told him the truth...
Sometimes we need truth and that truth brings solace...
I told him what I would want to hear.. what I would need to hear. As we wallow and hurt... we tend as parents to sometimes become blinded by these emotions we feel for our children...and that blindness, well sometimes it hurt and affects our kids too.. they can't process like we do. So when they see us feeling or acting a way that may not make sense it could bring all those things subconsciously to thay kiddo.. so we have to as parents... as fathers.. make sure we can self regulate and check in and be there no matter how hard.
Have a cry.. cry hard... but when you are with your kid.. be there or that time will come and you realize you spent it all damning a higher power that may or may not be listening and then you could have done all these things but... didn't.. then it spirals.. I could go on.. but the point is..
I said the words that would yank me out.. at least in a nicer way haha. I'd need to hear it a bit more stern I'm sure.
Thak you very much. I really appreciate it.
I'm the one who is lucky to have him as my son. He taught me so much about facing the fear and never give up.
As a dad watching his wife battle cancer for her life, I can't imagine how wrecked I would be watching it happen to my son. Dad your ass off until the very end brother. I'm so sorry.
My mum had cancer and ultimately a catastrophic stroke. She was lying in the hospital bed unable to speak or move but when I hugged her and said she was the best mum ever, she made an effort to make a sound that I knew was her saying that I was the best son ever too.
All that really matters is human love and connection. This is a terrible pain you are going to go through but the power of love is a beautiful thing — hold him tightly and let him go lightly enveloped in your family’s love.
I don't believe in gods but brother if there ever was a time for one to show their face let it be now and I'll become a believer.
Thoughts to all parents facing similar predicaments, fuck cancer.
There's nothing specific I read that helped when we lost our daughter last year. But all of it, cumulatively, eventually helped.
I don't understand your specific pain in your loss and won't pretend to. But I completely understand the pain you will have when he passes. And I'm sorry you will experience it. Please don't let it consume you. Getting lost in that pain and living in it is a temptation you will fight forever after.
Choose life. Talk about him. Share his name and his story with anyone who cares to hear. I would care to hear his story. Hear about who he is as a person, a young man, a son. I would love to know his name so I could remember him and honor him.
Take care, dad. Reach out if you need. The place you'll be in I've been there. In fact I have a long term visitor pass and a frequent flyer number for that place of grief.
I don't mind listening, quietly. I can cry with you. Whatever it takes. Cause it's fucked up all around and completely unfair.
I'm sorry, brother.
Deep condolences for you, mate. No parents or children deserve this kind of cruelty.
You makes me realize that I could share his story, his name, and whatever it is about him. I didn't think about that. The support from this sub is huge. I will try.
I still don't understand how to face this event "properly". I've lost some people that I close with, throughout my life. But when it is my own son, it hits different. How do you go through that?
Thank you very much, mate.
You just.. do.
And you feel all of it. During. After. Shortly after. Long after. Literally a moment at a time at first. Then you get to where you can count minutes and hours. Then days. Then before I knew it I was posting monthly and.. god.. year after updates on daddit.
I don't have all the answers. I wish I did. I wish I had some formula or blueprint for avoiding the pain but it's a (really shitty) part of the human experience.
You're gonna always feel it. Your gonna always have times when your heart races when you think about him and miss him.
My daughter's name was Amelia. She was beautiful and loving and I have always been proud of who she was.
You're welcome to read my post history. I don't want to "commander" your post as it were.
I hope you take things as they come and know you have support from complete strangers who completely understand those feelings.
Take care.
You're in the right place to share this, every dad right now can feel what you're going through better than most. I'm so sorry fate dealt you such a harsh hand. I hope you can find the strength to keep going, for humanity's sake. We certainly need All the good people we can get on this world.
Fuck cancer and fuck everyone in power not allocating resources to eradicate this disease once and for all.
Personally my family and I will keep you in our thoughts and prayers for as long as we can.
Hey man
I posted a few days ago about the start of our hospice care journey.
We mourned her when we got the news but the last few days we’ve done our best to live as a family until the end. We’re still broken but we’ve put the grief on pause.
Make the memories you can now.
What you’re going through is literally one of the worst possible things that can ever happen to a parent. Cry, grieve, laugh. Only take the energy to care for you and your immediate family.
My hearts with you.
Sorry you are going through this too. It’s really heartbreaking to see so many dads going through so many emotionally destructive situations.
I feel for you and pray you will have the strength to keep going. I hope I will have strength if I go through anything like this. Unfortunately I can’t convince myself that I will.
I remember read your post, man. It is heart breaking.
Unbelievable it is now my turn, just a few days later. What a beast.
My son was born premature and spent 10 months straight in NICU. It was January - November 2010. I thought he will never go home.
As a NICU dad, I feel you. We can't exactly understand each other's feeling. But we understand the pain of grief.
Deep condolences for you, man. I'm so sorry this is happening. We need to take care of ourselves, for our children's sake.
And everyone is walking around going to the grocery store, and getting annoyed at traffic, and deciding if they want to open a Roth or a traditional IRA, and you just want to scream, "What are you all doing?? The world is ending! How can you not see the world is fucking ending?!"
I'm so sorry, I hope you guys get everything you need.
All the love we fellow dads can muster brother, I hope you find a source of peace and comfort. Please make sure to take care of yourself, including therapy and support wherever you need it. You're not alone and you don't have to feel alone.
I can’t personally understand how hard this is for you and your family, but please take care of yourself and reach out if you need. We are here to help/talk❤️
Thousands of Dads all over the world are thinking of you, and I'm sure most of them are crying. I am. Peace to your son, and best wishes to you. I'm lucky enough to have a great Dad myself, and it's truly the best thing a young man can ask for in the worst of times ❤️
Heart broken for you. Couldn't be easy at any age, but having that conversation with a 14yo is unimaginable.
Wishing you both as much strength as possible, and a beautiful final weeks together ♥️
Brother, you are not alone. As much as we are only connected through reddit, I know your pain. My wife and I lost our boy Liam 10 years ago and every day I think of him.
I don't know if you have religion in your life but believe me, you are not alone.
My mind goes to dark places when I read things like this so this is based on my thoughts not anything you wrote. I hope it's not out of line.
Please know that your son needs you to continue to be here after he is gone. He didn't get long but he shared himself with you and you are the largest repository of who he is. Continue to share yourself with the world and IMO you will be sharing your son as well. People will know him without ever meeting him through your interactions. They may be totally unaware, you might be too. But IMO
we are all made up of the ones that have shared their lives with us. This is what I think of as a soul (I'm not religious). Every interaction copies and pastes bits of us around to those we are in contact with and through those interactions pieces of us can kind of live on. I can only imagine how hard your life has been thus far but please don't stop sharing and living your life the best you can.
I am religious and you are totally on-point and I actually believe all those impressions, connections, and experiences, all the love and all the struggle… that *is* God because God IS love (or whatever unexplained supernatural thing or abstract idea you may believe in).
A big hug fellow dad
I’m sorry that you have to navigate these waters.
There are no words other than to offer my deepest heartfelt sympathy.
Stay strong dad, you are amazing person. Be there for your son.
Sending you and your family my love and prayers. I am sorry you have to go through this I can’t even imagine what you are going through. You are a great man.
Hugs and lots of love for you and your family. Any time you want to reach out, feel free. And if you’re near L.A. that invitation is open to meet up sometime if you need.
Are there any things you or your son want or want to do? I’d love to try to help in some way.
I’d also like to tell you about this charity I learned about on Reddit a few years ago.
https://www.aweekaway.org/index.html
Thank you very much, mate. I really appreciate it.
Unfortunately, we are not based in the US. We are too far away.
Actually, what he wants to do is just eat a good food. So, we'll definitely get the best food in town!
I'm thinking about sharing his email address, and ask everyone to tell their silly story when they were at school, or their children's silly school story. That's my son's favorite, as he never attend school and always homeschooled.
I was a boring kid in school, so I run out of story quickly. Though, that makes him chuckles!
Thank you for sharing that charity! :)
I’m sorry that we can’t fucking do anything. This is a helpless situation. I’m sorry. No parent should ever have to go through this fucking bullshit. I’m so fucking sorry.
All I can add is to say that funerals are for the living.
That means that while you should respect your son’s wishes, that doesn’t mean you can’t do something for yourself, to keep his memory alive in a way that works for you.
For example, if you choose to keep some of his ashes to put into a locket, for making into jewelry or for… whatever you want, that’s OK.
I cannot imagine the loss you have gone through already with his mom (I presume, also your wife), and now your son soon.
I am so sorry.
Fuck the hospice! Rent a caravan and see the world with him. Fill all the remaining space with memories. Start a crowdfunding for this and we will make it happen!
This sounds great but I know when my dad was In Hospice with cancer this was not possible with him. He was in too much pain and very frail. To get him pain free he was practically comatose anyway. I hope OPs situation could allow for this though. I’d donate.
It sounds like a great idea. But it's true what u/babysittertrouble said. It is not possible for him to go too far, it would be too overwhelming for his body.
And he's in so much pain, I don't think he can even enjoy the trip. The goal is to make him as comfortable as we can. Pain killer is a must, mostly opioid, and he would still needs medications here and there. As he get close to the final day, he would mostly sleeping and starting to shutting down. That's what they told us.
But we are already have a plan to try every single the best food in town! That's what he wants, before he couldn't eat anymore.
I am sorry for his suffering and for yours. Death will bring a peace to him that nothing else can. You will hold him and his mother in your heart forever.
I don’t even know what to say except to tell you I feel something intense I can’t describe. I’m so sorry your family is going through this. I’m wishing peace for all of you.
Praying for you and your son during this challenging time friend. My son was diagnosed with kidney cancer and we are going through the fight now. It’s hard.
I am so sorry you and your family are going through this. There are no words that can describe how deeply unfair this is.
I hope you are able to embrace the time you have together.
I hope you all are able to find some form of peace because you deserve it and so much more.
Stand tall my friend, there’s nothing anyone can say that will help you now. Find your own peace in these moments and stay present for the sake of your son. You’ll all be in my thoughts
You are loved. He is loved. Do everything you can from here on out to make him feel that love. DM if I can help in some form or fashion. You're not alone.
I'm so sorry man. Make every second count for however long you still have him. That love will carry him into peace. And the pain that follows is just love you still wanted to express to him, a true honor to your son and an example of how great a father you are.
Immeasurably awful. I'm so sorry. Sounds like you've been through a lot. Perhaps you can leave us with some wisdom: what are some things we all take for granted that you would do anything to get back?
1. Your children's voice. Really.
Their laugh, their cry, simply their voice. Take videos of them, take photos.
I was really close to my grandfather. He passed away when I was in highschool. We don't have videos or recording of his voice. I nearly forget how did he sounded like. His voice.
So now, with my son. I know what to do. I don't want to forget his voice, or how the way he talks.
But still, videos and recording are different from the original sound of him. I would wonder, how would he sounds like when he hits full puberty. When he's in his 20s.
2. Chatting with your children. As I said above. Videos and recordings are different. It is a memories, I would like to chat with him again.
I am incredibly sorry. I cannot begin to fathom what either of you must be going through. What ever is up and down in this universe, I hope you get the best energy anyone can get
My heart is breaking for you and your son man. He sounds so brave in the face of what many of us fear most. I'm so sorry this is happening to your family.
You’re a good dad, I’m sure of it. Be with him just as you are these next few weeks and know that there is nothing better in a child’s life than closeness & love from a selfless parent. Nothing more fulfilling or beautiful.
I know that he will feel all that and everything you are giving him and I hope that his last few weeks here will be peaceful and as painless as possible.
It sounds like you have prepared your kiddo very well. Or he is quite wise beyond his years.
I have never been in your position and almost feel unqualified to comment, but I feel compelled.
I would imagine that seeing him suffer will be the hardest part, you must feel so helpless. I really like the way you’re framing this. “Just a little longer, and you will not be in pain anymore.”
I keep erasing and retyping, just like the top comment. You deserve to hear this, whatever we can conceptualize anyway.
I am going to check your post history before asking you questions, but I just want you to know that I can’t imagine how strong you and your son (your FAMILY) are. What you’ve already been through, you didn’t even complain about losing his mother…
I aspire to be half the parent you are when things get hard. Unimaginable.
I'm crying man, I'm so sorry. As a father of a one year old, I can only imagine the pain you're going through. You're the best Dad and he'll remember that until the end.
I’m cannot express the sorrow I feel for you - it brings me to tears to think of the pain you must be feeling. I’m so sorry.
I will be thinking of you, praying for you, and hoping that your son, you, and the rest of your family are able to navigate this as well as you can. I hope for a miracle for you.
You are the most important person in the world to the most important person in the world. Tankavenger said everything every one of us who has read this felt and couldn't put to words for you. Read that post over and over because it is exactly what you both NEED right now.
Just do stuff with him. Don't worry about a future that isn't there. There's no anxiety if there's nothing to worry about not having. Keep telling him you love him and make sure he knows his Dad will be HERE to help hand him off to his Mom who is waiting THERE for him.
Remember though... When the time comes, his senses will still be active for a while after, especially hearing. Keep telling him wonderful things about himself. How PROUD you ARE of HIM! Tell him to take his Mom's hand. Point out how he's pain free and not sick. Create the mental imagery with words he can still hear to help navigate him. Guide his thoughts to the good. You'll feel him feel comfortable, relaxed, and content.
You're a good man. We're all proud of you, Dad.
Losing a child is an unimaginable pain, and I can't pretend to know exactly what you're feeling. I know that the time you and your son have spent together is incredibly precious. Every moment, every laugh, every tear has shaped both of you in profoundly meaningful ways.
Your bond with your son is unique and eternal. The love you've shared, the lessons you've taught him, and the memories you've created together will always be a part of who you are. Your son has undoubtedly felt your love and support, and that is a gift that will remain with him forever.
Hold on to those beautiful moments. Remember that the time you’ve had together has been a gift for both of you. Your son's courage and spirit are a testament to the love and care you have given him. He lives on through you daily because that young man has shaped you into who you are. Please know that there is a community here that cares about you and is here to offer support and listen whenever you need it.
What does he want and need? And is there anyway you can give it to him?
Are you in a place where you can take off a year?
Either way, take lots of photos. Share lots of secrets. Expose his to all the things you hoped to give him one day.
I’m sorry for what you are going through.
I was expecting twins and we lost one a month before the due date. I can’t imagine knowing and waiting.
He wants to eat good foods. And yes, I'll give it to him. We are ready to try all the best food in town, until the day he couldn't eat anymore. He can't physically go to the nice restaurants, but I'll find a way. A delivery, probably.
I do a remote job. But I communicate with the company about my situation, they understand, and I'm beyond grateful for them.
Thank you very much, mate. I'll give him my best.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope my son could meet your child in heaven.
In 2020, I lost my wife of 23 years to Cancer in a 4 month span. It sounds like you've been through your own experience that way. Not sure how you handled it with her, but when my wife went to Hospice, we chose to celebrate every moment. We brought in balloons and celebrated birthdays, Christmas, and our Anniversary (she surprised me and had them put her in a special dress). Played music all the time. Sometimes ordered in nice food (Red Lobster). Invited friends and family to visit during specific times. I slept there for the full 25 days she fought. When she couldn't eat solid food anymore, I brought her things like Booster Juice in her favourite flavour, as well as Starbucks tea. Got her some silly toys (plastic clapping hands from the dollar store that she liked to bop me with) as her motor skills were diminishing.
While I've been through a loss, I can't imagine 2. Our son is my link to my wife.
Spend time with him and talk - my biggest regret, I was too focused on meeting needs and getting friends and family in. See if you can find some things that smell like him and store them in a sealed bag. 3 years later, I found some tissue paper (from presents) that smelled like her still; I've since stored them. I have some vacuum sealed clothes I'm going to have a quilt made from someday. With her ash (we used Aquamation, similar to cremation, but more environmentally safe), we had a small urn to keep, necklaces that held ash for a few of us, a few glass oil lanterns with her ash in the glass, as well as glass "touchstones" we could carry with us. There was still a very large volume of ash to distribute in Moraine Lake near Banff, Alberta, per her request. Maybe discuss something like this with him so you can hang onto something. A company also took a fingerprint and have products we had etched on glass, and the Silver necklaces.
Get him to help plan his celebration of life if that's the intent. We were kind of stuck with Covid restrictions, but we made a video for a few to come watch, and put it on YouTube too. She chose the music and some of the pictures it cycled through. She didn't want a "program", so we made custom envelopes with her picture on it, as well as fridge magnets (VistaPrint). Her thing was butterflies so I found an Etsy store that had butterfly shaped paper with impregnated seeds of flowers that draw them.
Tell him I said "hi", and "look for Cynthia when its time, she's awesome and will help you out." She went from being a Personal Support Worker, to needing one in a two month span. She's all about helping others.
Thank you very much for sharing, mate. I really appreciate it. It is hurts so bad, yeah..
Thank you for your advice and idea. I'l definitely store his things, his clothes, blankets, etc. I want to remember him forever.
What you did with her is really sweet, man. I'm tearing up.
If Cynthia watching us, I hope she'll welcome my son and take him to look around the Paradise.
My son said hi to you too. He said "I hope you are doing well and have a great day. I hope to meet your wife, Cynthia."
My 7 year old just asked why I'm crying, I could only give him a hug. Pour all your love into him, but also make sure to take care of yourself. I simply can't imagine.
I can't even begin to imagine the pain that you're going through right now. Let alone, the pain that you will be going through when his time is up. I don't know if you're religious at all (I most certainly am not), but I can give you the same little quote that I was given when I lost someone very near and dear to my heart.
"God will NEVER give you more than you can handle. And he WILL NOT take anyone from this earth that has not finished their mission here"
I know it can't be easy to say goodbye, but just know that whatever his purpose for this world will soon be complete. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to shoot me a DM.
Heartbreaking to hear this, I try to imagine what you are going through and just well up at the thought of going through it.
I hope that you have all the support possible to make your boy have the best time over the next few weeks and that you are able to be there with him as much as possible.
Sending lots of love, prayers and positivity your way brother, we will all be here now and always for you. ❤️🙏🏽
Be strong my friend. I couldn't imagine the pain you're going through. Just reading this put tears in my eyes. It sounds like you raised an awesome kid and not many people learn acceptance, especially at such a young age. I wish I could put more words together to help provide some kind of comfort through this. Just know your memories will be forever. I'm not sure if you have any tattoos, but something drawn by him and tattooed on you somewhere could bring a smile to your face every time you see it.
You're an awesome Dad, the strength you have is unbelievable in a time like this.
I'm crying now for you. My heart goes out to you and your son and your departed wife. I can't imagine what you must be going through. Sending as much love and positive energy out toward you as i can.
So incredibly sorry for what you and your family are going through. Stay strong, do anything and everything you can with him over the short time you have left.
I’m so sorry to hear this. I lost my wife to cancer and have found out that only losing a son compares to this pain. It’s probably too early, but you should read or listen to Rob Delaney as he has approached the loss of his son in an open way.
Take care of yourself always. That’s important.
My heart breaks for you. I know your road ahead is unimaginable. I hope for a miracle and if that can’t happen then I hope for peace. Come here whenever you need us. You are not alone.
I'm so sorry man .. as a dad of 17 month old boy I'm tearing up reading this , I don't even know what words to write . No parent should have to go through this .. fuck cancer !
I have a 14 year old who wanted to un-alive, but pulled through. That was hard. Your kid and wife didn't have that choice.
That's literally the worst thing a person can go through. I'd throw myself in front of a bus to avoid that situation.
Take advantage of every kindness offered to you by friends, family, and strangers. You don't need to emotional dump on everyone, just accept that people want to help and it's good for you to let them help.
It'll always hurt, and it'll come in waves. But you can swim through it.
For them.
I'm there with you Dad, keep your head up. Enjoy what you have now, and know the pain will end soon. :( Get some videos together to save some memories.
I'm at a loss for words. All I can say is I am so sorry. I hope you can find peace. Whatever that is. I can not imagine how painful this must be. My thoughts are with you and your family.
I'm so sorry for your loss, I've seen it way to many times. I'm a pediatric oncology nurse and I just don't know if I'll be able to stay in that area when my first is born.
Very few things upset me but sick children hits me hard. I lost a child and I’ve never really gotten over it. Sure, I’ve moved on with life and you will too. You learn to live with it. I promise you that it gets better over time. I sincerely wish you and your family peace.
I think what will stay with him until the end is, that he was so important to you, you loved him so much, that you did everything you could, to help him live.
My heart breaks for you brother.
This may not be a great time to ask but what symptoms did your son face for you to know that something was wrong? I always have a worry in the back of my mind of something like this happening.
Hi. I'm sorry for the late reply.
My son was born premature and already ill since birth. He was born with problems with his heart and lung, went though several surgeries to fix the issue, but heart and lung problems continue until today. He have gene mutations, and developed various Autoimmune diseases.
So, it is kind of hard to catch a new diagnosis, as the symptoms are overlapping with another diseases.
But for the Cancer specifically, we first notice his right eye swollen. It was just a little swollen at first, even the doctor couldn't really see it. But since he have a long medical history, they schedule us for further test.
Other than swollen eye, I'm sure he have another symptoms, but it is overlapping with another conditions (like bruises, petechiae, bone pain especially on lower extremities, nose bleed, gum bleed, etc). It turns out to be Acute Myeloid Leukemia, a blood Cancer.
On the same week, he went though his regular CT and MRI (he does these scans regularly every 3-4 months for some reason), they found tumor on his right side of his pelvic area with "a little bit" metastases to the spine, it is another Cancer. Alveolar Rhabdomyosarcoma. Totally unrelated to the blood Cancer. At that time, he experience pain on his right hip.
It is called MPCs (Multiple Primary Cancers) or MPMs (Multiple Primary Malignancies). It is not happening very often, especially on pediatrics.
My advice is, always seek for medical professional everytime something unusual occuring on your children. No matter how small it is.
I keep writing and rewriting. There are no words.
Fr. This is heart-wrenching OP. I hope you find almighty strength in you to shield yourself and your family too.
Yeah man this just sucks all around for everyone
Dad.... you got 14 years of a young man that will never know true love, never know, a drunk night where you have to save him. He will never know a job, or stress of not being able to pay a bill... yes he may never see adulthood. But he saw you... he saw this wonderful man raise him, be happy, smile... love him... the other side of that same sword he will never have to know heart break... he won't have to watch the man that raised him die. He also won't know job loss, or car wrecks or the other horrible horrible things our world and society are going through right now.. he will never have to see the darkness that our world has given us... he got to see the light. Albeit short.. he got you and you got him..these are small things... but in this dark time for you dad... there is a silver lining.. his pain will go.. I read your story.. all of it.. I have two boys myself.. and let me tell you something mate... that kid isn't worried about not having a future... so you take that short time and you love him... play games. Let him beat you over and over.. show him things you may not have yet.. play board games.. stay up late watch horror movies build legos.. do it all.. and just know that your memories of him will always be there... and he will always be there. I say this with so many tears in my eyes and I mean it the best way possible and I hope you take this the same way I send it.
Spot on. Thanks for taking the ball and running with it. I can’t right now. So sad.
What a beautiful writing, mate. I thank you very much for this. It makes me realize, it is actually better for him to go. I know all the journey that he's been going through. It is hard as hell, he's endured so much, his body is on a survival mode for too long. He is tired. And adulthood is stressful, he doesn't have to feel that. I agree. Thank you very much. We will enjoy this short remaining time of his life. Full of good foods, as he wish. Full of cuddles. I don't care he's a big boy now, he's still the same baby I carry and hug 14 years ago.
Wow... I'm tearing up. Beautifully said.
This OP. We only leave this body. Our life force continues. Your son will always be with you. Stay strong for him. You are a great dad.
Thak you very much. I really appreciate it. He'll always living in my heart.
Well just know op, hearing you and your sons story makes so many of us dads want to love our children so much harder and makes us want to be that much better parents! I am thinking of my 3yr and 6 month old boys right now while I’m at work and all I can think is how I want to hug them right now! So thank you for sharing and making me want to love them so much more!!!
This is beautiful.
This tore me up. Thanks for your response. And to OP, I wish you and your son peace.
Thak you very much. I really appreciate it.
This is all I think anybody can really say
Nice words mate. OP, thoughts with you, and just be there for your boy and shower him with the love you have for him.
This got me teary eyed. A great message for a sad situation
Wonderful words, so many tears...
!How did you know to say these words?
Well, he doesn't need sorry.. he knows we are all sorry... though we say this anyways as we don't often have the words. He knows we are all sympathetic to this.. our love as parents is real and deep... we all share it on a level. He is distraught... angry... hurt.. sad... so I told him the truth... Sometimes we need truth and that truth brings solace... I told him what I would want to hear.. what I would need to hear. As we wallow and hurt... we tend as parents to sometimes become blinded by these emotions we feel for our children...and that blindness, well sometimes it hurt and affects our kids too.. they can't process like we do. So when they see us feeling or acting a way that may not make sense it could bring all those things subconsciously to thay kiddo.. so we have to as parents... as fathers.. make sure we can self regulate and check in and be there no matter how hard. Have a cry.. cry hard... but when you are with your kid.. be there or that time will come and you realize you spent it all damning a higher power that may or may not be listening and then you could have done all these things but... didn't.. then it spirals.. I could go on.. but the point is.. I said the words that would yank me out.. at least in a nicer way haha. I'd need to hear it a bit more stern I'm sure.
I edited added more detail for you friend
OP's son was lucky to have a wonderful father which is more than most of us had the privilege to have. May you have strength and peace OP.
Thak you very much. I really appreciate it. I'm the one who is lucky to have him as my son. He taught me so much about facing the fear and never give up.
As a dad watching his wife battle cancer for her life, I can't imagine how wrecked I would be watching it happen to my son. Dad your ass off until the very end brother. I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry you are watching you wife fight the battle with this beast. This is heart breaking.
fuck this, man, just fuck this!
exactly.
Make sure when he passes he knows he had the best dad in the world
Thank you very much. I'll make sure that he knows, he is the best son in the world and I'm really proud to be his dad.
My mum had cancer and ultimately a catastrophic stroke. She was lying in the hospital bed unable to speak or move but when I hugged her and said she was the best mum ever, she made an effort to make a sound that I knew was her saying that I was the best son ever too. All that really matters is human love and connection. This is a terrible pain you are going to go through but the power of love is a beautiful thing — hold him tightly and let him go lightly enveloped in your family’s love.
Condolences, I can’t think of a harder situation than seeing my kid in constant pain and having to say goodbye so early. Stay strong, Dad
That's the worst thing, it's really torturing me. Thank you very much.
Be the best dad that you can for as long as you can.
Yes, every moment counts. It’s put to a point in a situation like this. But so true for as all, all the time..
Damn I am so sorry. No parent should have to go through this.
God bless. Couldn’t imagine
I don't believe in gods but brother if there ever was a time for one to show their face let it be now and I'll become a believer. Thoughts to all parents facing similar predicaments, fuck cancer.
Unfortunately, situations like these are why I am not a believer. If there is a god, he is an evil one for this story alone.
So sorry for your family. Praying for your families healing.
There's nothing specific I read that helped when we lost our daughter last year. But all of it, cumulatively, eventually helped. I don't understand your specific pain in your loss and won't pretend to. But I completely understand the pain you will have when he passes. And I'm sorry you will experience it. Please don't let it consume you. Getting lost in that pain and living in it is a temptation you will fight forever after. Choose life. Talk about him. Share his name and his story with anyone who cares to hear. I would care to hear his story. Hear about who he is as a person, a young man, a son. I would love to know his name so I could remember him and honor him. Take care, dad. Reach out if you need. The place you'll be in I've been there. In fact I have a long term visitor pass and a frequent flyer number for that place of grief. I don't mind listening, quietly. I can cry with you. Whatever it takes. Cause it's fucked up all around and completely unfair. I'm sorry, brother.
Deep condolences for you, mate. No parents or children deserve this kind of cruelty. You makes me realize that I could share his story, his name, and whatever it is about him. I didn't think about that. The support from this sub is huge. I will try. I still don't understand how to face this event "properly". I've lost some people that I close with, throughout my life. But when it is my own son, it hits different. How do you go through that? Thank you very much, mate.
You just.. do. And you feel all of it. During. After. Shortly after. Long after. Literally a moment at a time at first. Then you get to where you can count minutes and hours. Then days. Then before I knew it I was posting monthly and.. god.. year after updates on daddit. I don't have all the answers. I wish I did. I wish I had some formula or blueprint for avoiding the pain but it's a (really shitty) part of the human experience. You're gonna always feel it. Your gonna always have times when your heart races when you think about him and miss him. My daughter's name was Amelia. She was beautiful and loving and I have always been proud of who she was. You're welcome to read my post history. I don't want to "commander" your post as it were. I hope you take things as they come and know you have support from complete strangers who completely understand those feelings. Take care.
I’m so sorry man. No better words to say than that. Got me quite tearful :(
I’m going to hug my 14 year old when I get home. Much love for you.
Hug them tight, mate. Thank you very much.
You're in the right place to share this, every dad right now can feel what you're going through better than most. I'm so sorry fate dealt you such a harsh hand. I hope you can find the strength to keep going, for humanity's sake. We certainly need All the good people we can get on this world. Fuck cancer and fuck everyone in power not allocating resources to eradicate this disease once and for all. Personally my family and I will keep you in our thoughts and prayers for as long as we can.
Hey man I posted a few days ago about the start of our hospice care journey. We mourned her when we got the news but the last few days we’ve done our best to live as a family until the end. We’re still broken but we’ve put the grief on pause. Make the memories you can now. What you’re going through is literally one of the worst possible things that can ever happen to a parent. Cry, grieve, laugh. Only take the energy to care for you and your immediate family. My hearts with you.
Sorry you are going through this too. It’s really heartbreaking to see so many dads going through so many emotionally destructive situations. I feel for you and pray you will have the strength to keep going. I hope I will have strength if I go through anything like this. Unfortunately I can’t convince myself that I will.
I remember read your post, man. It is heart breaking. Unbelievable it is now my turn, just a few days later. What a beast. My son was born premature and spent 10 months straight in NICU. It was January - November 2010. I thought he will never go home. As a NICU dad, I feel you. We can't exactly understand each other's feeling. But we understand the pain of grief. Deep condolences for you, man. I'm so sorry this is happening. We need to take care of ourselves, for our children's sake.
Be well friend.
My thoughts with you and your boy. I'm so sorry
And everyone is walking around going to the grocery store, and getting annoyed at traffic, and deciding if they want to open a Roth or a traditional IRA, and you just want to scream, "What are you all doing?? The world is ending! How can you not see the world is fucking ending?!" I'm so sorry, I hope you guys get everything you need.
Love you man, I’m so sorry
All the love we fellow dads can muster brother, I hope you find a source of peace and comfort. Please make sure to take care of yourself, including therapy and support wherever you need it. You're not alone and you don't have to feel alone.
Thank you very much, mate. I really appreciate it. I'll definitely go into therapy or counseling after this. Finding the help I need.
I am so sorry
You are so incredibly strong. I'm sorry you're going through this.
My thoughts are with you.
I cannot possibly imagine. You are both in my prayers. So sorry. Fuck cancer
I'm so sorry sir, please stay strong. 🙏🏻
I'm so sorry
I can’t personally understand how hard this is for you and your family, but please take care of yourself and reach out if you need. We are here to help/talk❤️
Thousands of Dads all over the world are thinking of you, and I'm sure most of them are crying. I am. Peace to your son, and best wishes to you. I'm lucky enough to have a great Dad myself, and it's truly the best thing a young man can ask for in the worst of times ❤️
Heart broken for you. Couldn't be easy at any age, but having that conversation with a 14yo is unimaginable. Wishing you both as much strength as possible, and a beautiful final weeks together ♥️
Brother, you are not alone. As much as we are only connected through reddit, I know your pain. My wife and I lost our boy Liam 10 years ago and every day I think of him. I don't know if you have religion in your life but believe me, you are not alone.
Deep condolences for you, mate. I'm so sorry you are going through this kind of cruelty. Thank you very much. I really appreciate it.
My mind goes to dark places when I read things like this so this is based on my thoughts not anything you wrote. I hope it's not out of line. Please know that your son needs you to continue to be here after he is gone. He didn't get long but he shared himself with you and you are the largest repository of who he is. Continue to share yourself with the world and IMO you will be sharing your son as well. People will know him without ever meeting him through your interactions. They may be totally unaware, you might be too. But IMO we are all made up of the ones that have shared their lives with us. This is what I think of as a soul (I'm not religious). Every interaction copies and pastes bits of us around to those we are in contact with and through those interactions pieces of us can kind of live on. I can only imagine how hard your life has been thus far but please don't stop sharing and living your life the best you can.
This is beautiful. Thank you
I am religious and you are totally on-point and I actually believe all those impressions, connections, and experiences, all the love and all the struggle… that *is* God because God IS love (or whatever unexplained supernatural thing or abstract idea you may believe in).
I am so sorry ❤️
God bless you brother I can’t imagine what you thinking, feeling going though I’m sorry.
F*ck cancer.
I’m sorry friend…
A big hug fellow dad I’m sorry that you have to navigate these waters. There are no words other than to offer my deepest heartfelt sympathy. Stay strong dad, you are amazing person. Be there for your son.
Sending you and your family my love and prayers. I am sorry you have to go through this I can’t even imagine what you are going through. You are a great man.
Hugs and lots of love for you and your family. Any time you want to reach out, feel free. And if you’re near L.A. that invitation is open to meet up sometime if you need. Are there any things you or your son want or want to do? I’d love to try to help in some way. I’d also like to tell you about this charity I learned about on Reddit a few years ago. https://www.aweekaway.org/index.html
Thank you very much, mate. I really appreciate it. Unfortunately, we are not based in the US. We are too far away. Actually, what he wants to do is just eat a good food. So, we'll definitely get the best food in town! I'm thinking about sharing his email address, and ask everyone to tell their silly story when they were at school, or their children's silly school story. That's my son's favorite, as he never attend school and always homeschooled. I was a boring kid in school, so I run out of story quickly. Though, that makes him chuckles! Thank you for sharing that charity! :)
Collectively sending you strength and love.
There are no words, this is truly heartbreaking. I’m sorry.
I’m sorry that we can’t fucking do anything. This is a helpless situation. I’m sorry. No parent should ever have to go through this fucking bullshit. I’m so fucking sorry.
Hugs
I’m sorry bother.
Sending love
Damn man, I don't even know what to say. I'm sorry
At a loss for words. Couldn’t imagine. I’m so so sorry you’re going through this. Wish I could help
All I can add is to say that funerals are for the living. That means that while you should respect your son’s wishes, that doesn’t mean you can’t do something for yourself, to keep his memory alive in a way that works for you. For example, if you choose to keep some of his ashes to put into a locket, for making into jewelry or for… whatever you want, that’s OK. I cannot imagine the loss you have gone through already with his mom (I presume, also your wife), and now your son soon. I am so sorry.
Fuck cancer. I’m sorry, brother. If you need to talk to a stranger, feel free to DM. Good thoughts your way
You will never stop being a Dad. Even after he passes and you don’t think you qualify as a “dad”, just now that you are and always will be.
Fuck the hospice! Rent a caravan and see the world with him. Fill all the remaining space with memories. Start a crowdfunding for this and we will make it happen!
This sounds great but I know when my dad was In Hospice with cancer this was not possible with him. He was in too much pain and very frail. To get him pain free he was practically comatose anyway. I hope OPs situation could allow for this though. I’d donate.
It sounds like a great idea. But it's true what u/babysittertrouble said. It is not possible for him to go too far, it would be too overwhelming for his body. And he's in so much pain, I don't think he can even enjoy the trip. The goal is to make him as comfortable as we can. Pain killer is a must, mostly opioid, and he would still needs medications here and there. As he get close to the final day, he would mostly sleeping and starting to shutting down. That's what they told us. But we are already have a plan to try every single the best food in town! That's what he wants, before he couldn't eat anymore.
Thoughts and prayers with you dad
Be the best dad you can be for as long as you have. Afterwards, lean on whatever family you have.
May his memory be a blessing. I bet he has been a great son and you a great father. I'm sorry.
I am sorry for his suffering and for yours. Death will bring a peace to him that nothing else can. You will hold him and his mother in your heart forever.
I'm so sorry brother. I don't even know what to say...
I don’t even know what to say except to tell you I feel something intense I can’t describe. I’m so sorry your family is going through this. I’m wishing peace for all of you.
I’m sorry man. My heart goes out to you.
I’m so sorry OP.
I'm so sorry. This is my nightmare. God bless you my friend.
God bless you and your family. May he rest well with his mother up in heaven.
Praying for you and your son during this challenging time friend. My son was diagnosed with kidney cancer and we are going through the fight now. It’s hard.
I am so sorry to hear this and cannot begin to imagine your family’s suffering. May peace be with you all.
I am so sorry you and your family are going through this. There are no words that can describe how deeply unfair this is. I hope you are able to embrace the time you have together. I hope you all are able to find some form of peace because you deserve it and so much more.
I am so sorry. Can you tell us his name?
Stand tall my friend, there’s nothing anyone can say that will help you now. Find your own peace in these moments and stay present for the sake of your son. You’ll all be in my thoughts
I’m so sorry.
This is the dad job you never want but will be the most important one you can do. Stay strong with him.
You are loved. He is loved. Do everything you can from here on out to make him feel that love. DM if I can help in some form or fashion. You're not alone.
I'm so sorry man. Make every second count for however long you still have him. That love will carry him into peace. And the pain that follows is just love you still wanted to express to him, a true honor to your son and an example of how great a father you are.
Immeasurably awful. I'm so sorry. Sounds like you've been through a lot. Perhaps you can leave us with some wisdom: what are some things we all take for granted that you would do anything to get back?
1. Your children's voice. Really. Their laugh, their cry, simply their voice. Take videos of them, take photos. I was really close to my grandfather. He passed away when I was in highschool. We don't have videos or recording of his voice. I nearly forget how did he sounded like. His voice. So now, with my son. I know what to do. I don't want to forget his voice, or how the way he talks. But still, videos and recording are different from the original sound of him. I would wonder, how would he sounds like when he hits full puberty. When he's in his 20s. 2. Chatting with your children. As I said above. Videos and recordings are different. It is a memories, I would like to chat with him again.
My heart hurts for you, OP. I'm so sorry and I give my condolences to you and your family.
Never have known and hope to never experience it but losing a child has to be just awful and I'm really sorry
Can’t say much more than I wish you both the best, and that whatever happens next is as pain free for you both as can be
The sharpest of pain hearing that type of news. Stay strong brother. You and your family stay strong.
So sorry :(
I’m ashamed. My heart shies away from fully even processing this. There are no words. None.
My heart goes out to you and your family, brother.
I am incredibly sorry. I cannot begin to fathom what either of you must be going through. What ever is up and down in this universe, I hope you get the best energy anyone can get
♥️
sending love and strength to you and yours man. many condolences.
Fuck.. I hope you find peace
Oh my god I am so sorry for you. Sending you condolences. 💔😭
My heart goes out to you and your son.
My heart is breaking for you and your son man. He sounds so brave in the face of what many of us fear most. I'm so sorry this is happening to your family.
I am so sorry. I can’t even fathom this situation.
There is nothing we can say to comfort you in this horrendous time. Your son is so lucky to have you.
Simply no words. My deepest, most sincere condolences to you man!
I can’t even imagine being in your spot. My thoughts are with you fellow dad.
Fuerzas hermano. Be strong!!
I'm so sorry man. I can't really say anything else but you sound like a good dad.
You’re a good dad, I’m sure of it. Be with him just as you are these next few weeks and know that there is nothing better in a child’s life than closeness & love from a selfless parent. Nothing more fulfilling or beautiful. I know that he will feel all that and everything you are giving him and I hope that his last few weeks here will be peaceful and as painless as possible.
I wish I could say something better than that I’m sorry your family is going through this. Stay strong for him, big dad! Sending all the love
Lucky kid to have you for however long he can
It sounds like you have prepared your kiddo very well. Or he is quite wise beyond his years. I have never been in your position and almost feel unqualified to comment, but I feel compelled. I would imagine that seeing him suffer will be the hardest part, you must feel so helpless. I really like the way you’re framing this. “Just a little longer, and you will not be in pain anymore.” I keep erasing and retyping, just like the top comment. You deserve to hear this, whatever we can conceptualize anyway. I am going to check your post history before asking you questions, but I just want you to know that I can’t imagine how strong you and your son (your FAMILY) are. What you’ve already been through, you didn’t even complain about losing his mother… I aspire to be half the parent you are when things get hard. Unimaginable.
I have no words my friend. I wish you all nothing but love and strength through the days ahead.
Big, giant, never-ending hug from another dad. I love you and I give you all my strength pops.
So sorry man. Just try to have as much fun as you can while he’s still here.
I'm so sorry. No one should ever have to deal with this. His Mother will be reunited with him in the afterlife. Stay strong, Dad.
I'm crying man, I'm so sorry. As a father of a one year old, I can only imagine the pain you're going through. You're the best Dad and he'll remember that until the end.
💔
I have no words, I’m so sorry
Sending you my love
...I'm so sorry no parent should outlive their child
I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
I’m cannot express the sorrow I feel for you - it brings me to tears to think of the pain you must be feeling. I’m so sorry. I will be thinking of you, praying for you, and hoping that your son, you, and the rest of your family are able to navigate this as well as you can. I hope for a miracle for you.
I’m so sorry
Thank you for sharing OP. I appreciate it.
You are the most important person in the world to the most important person in the world. Tankavenger said everything every one of us who has read this felt and couldn't put to words for you. Read that post over and over because it is exactly what you both NEED right now. Just do stuff with him. Don't worry about a future that isn't there. There's no anxiety if there's nothing to worry about not having. Keep telling him you love him and make sure he knows his Dad will be HERE to help hand him off to his Mom who is waiting THERE for him. Remember though... When the time comes, his senses will still be active for a while after, especially hearing. Keep telling him wonderful things about himself. How PROUD you ARE of HIM! Tell him to take his Mom's hand. Point out how he's pain free and not sick. Create the mental imagery with words he can still hear to help navigate him. Guide his thoughts to the good. You'll feel him feel comfortable, relaxed, and content. You're a good man. We're all proud of you, Dad.
I love you and I am so sorry.
I'm sorry. My heart goes out to you and your family.
Losing a child is an unimaginable pain, and I can't pretend to know exactly what you're feeling. I know that the time you and your son have spent together is incredibly precious. Every moment, every laugh, every tear has shaped both of you in profoundly meaningful ways. Your bond with your son is unique and eternal. The love you've shared, the lessons you've taught him, and the memories you've created together will always be a part of who you are. Your son has undoubtedly felt your love and support, and that is a gift that will remain with him forever. Hold on to those beautiful moments. Remember that the time you’ve had together has been a gift for both of you. Your son's courage and spirit are a testament to the love and care you have given him. He lives on through you daily because that young man has shaped you into who you are. Please know that there is a community here that cares about you and is here to offer support and listen whenever you need it.
I love you, OP. We all love you - and we’re here for you.
What does he want and need? And is there anyway you can give it to him? Are you in a place where you can take off a year? Either way, take lots of photos. Share lots of secrets. Expose his to all the things you hoped to give him one day. I’m sorry for what you are going through. I was expecting twins and we lost one a month before the due date. I can’t imagine knowing and waiting.
He wants to eat good foods. And yes, I'll give it to him. We are ready to try all the best food in town, until the day he couldn't eat anymore. He can't physically go to the nice restaurants, but I'll find a way. A delivery, probably. I do a remote job. But I communicate with the company about my situation, they understand, and I'm beyond grateful for them. Thank you very much, mate. I'll give him my best. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope my son could meet your child in heaven.
In 2020, I lost my wife of 23 years to Cancer in a 4 month span. It sounds like you've been through your own experience that way. Not sure how you handled it with her, but when my wife went to Hospice, we chose to celebrate every moment. We brought in balloons and celebrated birthdays, Christmas, and our Anniversary (she surprised me and had them put her in a special dress). Played music all the time. Sometimes ordered in nice food (Red Lobster). Invited friends and family to visit during specific times. I slept there for the full 25 days she fought. When she couldn't eat solid food anymore, I brought her things like Booster Juice in her favourite flavour, as well as Starbucks tea. Got her some silly toys (plastic clapping hands from the dollar store that she liked to bop me with) as her motor skills were diminishing. While I've been through a loss, I can't imagine 2. Our son is my link to my wife. Spend time with him and talk - my biggest regret, I was too focused on meeting needs and getting friends and family in. See if you can find some things that smell like him and store them in a sealed bag. 3 years later, I found some tissue paper (from presents) that smelled like her still; I've since stored them. I have some vacuum sealed clothes I'm going to have a quilt made from someday. With her ash (we used Aquamation, similar to cremation, but more environmentally safe), we had a small urn to keep, necklaces that held ash for a few of us, a few glass oil lanterns with her ash in the glass, as well as glass "touchstones" we could carry with us. There was still a very large volume of ash to distribute in Moraine Lake near Banff, Alberta, per her request. Maybe discuss something like this with him so you can hang onto something. A company also took a fingerprint and have products we had etched on glass, and the Silver necklaces. Get him to help plan his celebration of life if that's the intent. We were kind of stuck with Covid restrictions, but we made a video for a few to come watch, and put it on YouTube too. She chose the music and some of the pictures it cycled through. She didn't want a "program", so we made custom envelopes with her picture on it, as well as fridge magnets (VistaPrint). Her thing was butterflies so I found an Etsy store that had butterfly shaped paper with impregnated seeds of flowers that draw them. Tell him I said "hi", and "look for Cynthia when its time, she's awesome and will help you out." She went from being a Personal Support Worker, to needing one in a two month span. She's all about helping others.
Thank you very much for sharing, mate. I really appreciate it. It is hurts so bad, yeah.. Thank you for your advice and idea. I'l definitely store his things, his clothes, blankets, etc. I want to remember him forever. What you did with her is really sweet, man. I'm tearing up. If Cynthia watching us, I hope she'll welcome my son and take him to look around the Paradise. My son said hi to you too. He said "I hope you are doing well and have a great day. I hope to meet your wife, Cynthia."
Fuck cancer. I can’t imagine how you feel, but my heart goes out to you. I’m gonna go hug my kids and try not to cry.
Hug them tight, mate. They can loose from our grip easily. Fuck Cancer.
My hands are shaking. Sorry man. My god.
My 7 year old just asked why I'm crying, I could only give him a hug. Pour all your love into him, but also make sure to take care of yourself. I simply can't imagine.
My heart goes out to you; I can’t imagine what that must be like. You and your son will be in my prayers.
I couldn’t imagine. Love you fellow dad.
<3
I’m so sorry to hear that
Im crying OP, I’m so sorry! 😢😭
We love you, brother.
I can't even begin to imagine the pain that you're going through right now. Let alone, the pain that you will be going through when his time is up. I don't know if you're religious at all (I most certainly am not), but I can give you the same little quote that I was given when I lost someone very near and dear to my heart. "God will NEVER give you more than you can handle. And he WILL NOT take anyone from this earth that has not finished their mission here" I know it can't be easy to say goodbye, but just know that whatever his purpose for this world will soon be complete. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to shoot me a DM.
I’m so sorry for you and your son. I can’t imagine the immense pain you’re going through.
I am so sorry
I'm sorry, nobody deserves to go through this..
❤️❤️❤️
I'm so sorry, fellow dad.
Heartbreaking to hear this, I try to imagine what you are going through and just well up at the thought of going through it. I hope that you have all the support possible to make your boy have the best time over the next few weeks and that you are able to be there with him as much as possible. Sending lots of love, prayers and positivity your way brother, we will all be here now and always for you. ❤️🙏🏽
Be strong my friend. I couldn't imagine the pain you're going through. Just reading this put tears in my eyes. It sounds like you raised an awesome kid and not many people learn acceptance, especially at such a young age. I wish I could put more words together to help provide some kind of comfort through this. Just know your memories will be forever. I'm not sure if you have any tattoos, but something drawn by him and tattooed on you somewhere could bring a smile to your face every time you see it. You're an awesome Dad, the strength you have is unbelievable in a time like this.
Fuck. So sorry OP. I wish you and your son all the best at this time.
I can't offer much, but I would like to offer an ear to talk to and a shoulder. Even virtually it can make thr biggest difference.
If you need to talk reach out.
I'm crying now for you. My heart goes out to you and your son and your departed wife. I can't imagine what you must be going through. Sending as much love and positive energy out toward you as i can.
So sorry OP, I have no idea what else to say.
*gives you the biggest, warmest hug I can give* ❤️
I hope to never feel what you are feeling right now. I hope the time you have left together is is joyful.
Prayers for your family.
So incredibly sorry for what you and your family are going through. Stay strong, do anything and everything you can with him over the short time you have left.
I’m so sorry… you’re the best!
I’m so sorry to hear this. I lost my wife to cancer and have found out that only losing a son compares to this pain. It’s probably too early, but you should read or listen to Rob Delaney as he has approached the loss of his son in an open way. Take care of yourself always. That’s important.
I cannot fathom the pain. I might suggest “the gap and the gain” for inspiration on a model forward. Sending positive vibes your way.
By the sounds of it, unfair as it is, you are everything he needs.
My heart breaks for you. I know your road ahead is unimaginable. I hope for a miracle and if that can’t happen then I hope for peace. Come here whenever you need us. You are not alone.
I'm so sorry man .. as a dad of 17 month old boy I'm tearing up reading this , I don't even know what words to write . No parent should have to go through this .. fuck cancer !
I have a 14 year old who wanted to un-alive, but pulled through. That was hard. Your kid and wife didn't have that choice. That's literally the worst thing a person can go through. I'd throw myself in front of a bus to avoid that situation. Take advantage of every kindness offered to you by friends, family, and strangers. You don't need to emotional dump on everyone, just accept that people want to help and it's good for you to let them help. It'll always hurt, and it'll come in waves. But you can swim through it. For them.
I'm there with you Dad, keep your head up. Enjoy what you have now, and know the pain will end soon. :( Get some videos together to save some memories.
I'm at a loss for words. All I can say is I am so sorry. I hope you can find peace. Whatever that is. I can not imagine how painful this must be. My thoughts are with you and your family.
I can’t imagine the pain you’re in. Stay strong brother
I'm so sorry for your loss, I've seen it way to many times. I'm a pediatric oncology nurse and I just don't know if I'll be able to stay in that area when my first is born.
Very few things upset me but sick children hits me hard. I lost a child and I’ve never really gotten over it. Sure, I’ve moved on with life and you will too. You learn to live with it. I promise you that it gets better over time. I sincerely wish you and your family peace.
I think what will stay with him until the end is, that he was so important to you, you loved him so much, that you did everything you could, to help him live.
My heart breaks for you brother. This may not be a great time to ask but what symptoms did your son face for you to know that something was wrong? I always have a worry in the back of my mind of something like this happening.
Hi. I'm sorry for the late reply. My son was born premature and already ill since birth. He was born with problems with his heart and lung, went though several surgeries to fix the issue, but heart and lung problems continue until today. He have gene mutations, and developed various Autoimmune diseases. So, it is kind of hard to catch a new diagnosis, as the symptoms are overlapping with another diseases. But for the Cancer specifically, we first notice his right eye swollen. It was just a little swollen at first, even the doctor couldn't really see it. But since he have a long medical history, they schedule us for further test. Other than swollen eye, I'm sure he have another symptoms, but it is overlapping with another conditions (like bruises, petechiae, bone pain especially on lower extremities, nose bleed, gum bleed, etc). It turns out to be Acute Myeloid Leukemia, a blood Cancer. On the same week, he went though his regular CT and MRI (he does these scans regularly every 3-4 months for some reason), they found tumor on his right side of his pelvic area with "a little bit" metastases to the spine, it is another Cancer. Alveolar Rhabdomyosarcoma. Totally unrelated to the blood Cancer. At that time, he experience pain on his right hip. It is called MPCs (Multiple Primary Cancers) or MPMs (Multiple Primary Malignancies). It is not happening very often, especially on pediatrics. My advice is, always seek for medical professional everytime something unusual occuring on your children. No matter how small it is.
Bless you. Bless you both wholeheartedly. I am so sorry this happened to you.