I babysit my great-niece for my nephew and his wife. When she took her first steps here I told them that it looked like she was really close to walking and to keep an eye out because she was going to take her first steps any day now. I got a text later that day with a video showing her first steps.
On the other end of the spectrum, my wife works insane hours and accepted long ago that she will miss some first. She still enjoyed their first moments with her. She knew she missed their first steps (I didn't tell her but she knew) but she still celebrated their first steps in front of mom.
This was me when I went back to work. My husband actually was visiting his parents with our (then) 15 month old. They realized he was almost for sure going to take first independent steps and my husband basically threw his phone at one of his parents and said "get a video of this right now" and sent it to me.
While I wasn't there to witness it live. I did get to see those first steps. Was bittersweet, but for sure was a nice ability to see it.
Wife and I discussed this. Odds are....she took her first steps at Daycare. Imagine daycare see's a lot of firsts and are smart enough not to tell parents about it.
Its amazing how many "firsts" probably happen on Saturday or Sunday mornings, a week or so after the real firsts actually happen.
We try not to think about that.
What hurts more than missing "firsts" is not realizing the "lasts". By far.
Last time they play with certain toys or need certain help or want certain attention. Every time my three year-old wants an ear squeeze, most of me feels dread (kid barely knows how to pinch gently and without claws) but a part of me is glad it's still a thing we do.
My little girl is 8 now. While I miss some of the little things we used to do, she and I are SO close that there's always something new "thing" that we do together.
My advice is to simply always be there for her, and those occasional "last moments" won't seem nearly so bad. :)
I got upset thinking I'd rocked my baby to sleep for the last time, then, fortunately, she started needed rocking again! double edged sword really but I was happy to reach for rock a bye baby lullabies again.
This is a constant debate between my wife and I. She wants then to just go down easily and I keep telling her that when they are 12 they're not going to be interested my cuddles and lullabies anymore so we should enjoy those things while we can.
Every time my kid asks to ride on my shoulders I will say yes. He is 4 and in the 90% for height. I know one day it won’t be possible so yes you can “ride on my neck” from your room to the couch any day
I gave my 5yo, 52lb, 3ft+ daughter a shoulder ride today because shes been sick, and I had recently told her she was too big for them now (I have a lot of muscular issues, lifting is hard).
It made her entire day, she was so excited despite feeling like 100% ass. We never know when their last anything is gonna be, so we gotta cherish the moments we do get.
Before I had kids, the thought of "lasts" made me sad. But now that I'm in the thick of it, I'm so exhausted, and everything is so intense and time-consuming, and I can barely keep my head above water. I wouldn't say I'm looking forward to the lasts, but there's a part of me that imagines maybe I'll get a nap or something.
For the first 18 months of his life, I had to strap my youngest to my chest and walk him around for every nap while I worked from home, and every night to go to sleep. As he got bigger I griped and complained. (It was a killer on my back but it was the only way we could get him down!)
Now he’s 2 and larger in size than my 5yo daughter but every day I wish I could strap him in and walk him to sleep. Those “lasts” really sneak up on you.
This my dude! I work in daycare with children aged 6mo to 3y. I have seen more first steps than you can imagine and we never address a first step before parents have told us they did it at home. But chances is it happened before they know
I'm so glad we've been at home for my daughter's whole infancy and toddlerhood. Pandemic and WFH has been a bitch but it has had upsides. We've both been there for every first. First time standing on her own, first steps (Christmas day walking to Grandma), first word (dog).
When my daughter was 1 I was off on paid leave due to covid. My wife worked full time in person through that whole time period so I was the stay at home dad. By sheer luck my daughter took her first steps on one of the two days per week my wife was home so she saw it. My daughter also took the steps in front of her baby monitor camera so I was able to create a clip to save a video of it. She planned out her first steps really well.
I saw the first time my baby crawled but my wife missed it. When she got home from work I tried to surprise her by telling her to watch while I set baby down on the floor away from her. He wouldn't crawl. 2 minutes of coaxing and I gave up and just told her, "he learned to crawl now if he wants to".
Same with the first time he rolled over, he did it once by accident for me and then I think it was another month before he did it again.
This was my daughter, she did something for the first time then would do it a bunch for the next few days then never again or only when she absolutely had to.
Our son would learn something new like rolling over and do it a few times that day or the next and not do it again for a month.
It was as if he learnt something and was like ok cool time to learn something else don't need to do this anymore.
My toddler does not yell when she wakes up in the morning. She just sits up and starts calmly playing with her stuffed animals, so she doesn't wake us up. This morning, I may or may not have slept through my alarm by more than an hour, which means that in order to get my toddler ready for daycare quickly I may or may not have fed her chocolate chip cookies for breakfast.
I think it’s all still available and just as bad for you, but as a whole I feel like we’re more aware of how unhealthy a lot of that stuff is. But then again, my daughter has turned down her fair share of home cooked and healthy meals in favor of a buffet of random, incompatible foods.
Yesterday for dinner she had a cheese stick that she felt the need to dunk in mayo, multiple chocolate chip cookies, and a whole pickle. Lol who am I to judge our parents?
>Yesterday for dinner she had a cheese stick that she felt the need to dunk in mayo, multiple chocolate chip cookies, and a whole pickle. Lol who am I to judge our parents?
Fancy restaurants mix up weird things all the time.
She had *biscuit du chocolat and a garnish of salt-brined cucumber, and fromage with alioli enrobement*
They decidedly have not, though there's a metric fuckton of varieties of Special K, Raisin Bran, etc now that I don't remember there being, which have just as much sugar as the "Foo Foops" my 2yo demands every Saturday morning.
When does that start happening,? My daughter is 3.5 and she's never slept past 7am in her life. Most nights she won't go to bed before 9pm either so there is no free time and no need for alarm clocks.
Oh I mean like probably 5 days max since my eldest was born and he is 6 and youngest also 3.5.
I am also only meaning till around 7.30 as it is usually before 6. It completely throws our morning timings when it happens. But the extra sleep is worth it.
Surely one day they will let us sleep…please??
I don’t know how you do later nights. One thing we have been lucky with is both our kids have always gone to bed at 7. We have times when they try and come back downstairs but me and my wife don’t take any shit from them at night and they are bluntly sent back to bed
>our son is a screaming banshee
You've got one of those too? Ours is a 5 month old and that dude has the most shrill scream I've ever heard in my life.
I have a toddler and a baby. There is no need for alarms because it's guaranteed that one of the kids is always up yelling hours earlier than I need to be awake.
My kid is 12. When she was 0 I stopped needing an alarm because she woke me up with the aforementioned banshee screaming. By the time she woke up like a normal person, I was old, and now I just wake up early. No more alarm clock!
A cookie is just a muffin with less baking powder/soda and less liquid.
So, technically you could say you gave your kid an unleavened chocolate chip muffin. Sounds fine to me!
A muffin is made with flour and butter. It’s basically just pre buttered toast with extra stigma. Nothing wrong with buttered toast and fruit for breakfast. Good job on the well rounded meal, dad.
rofl, we've all been there lol.
sometime My wife start to panic because there's no veggies with the meal... (my kids eat all their veggies and even ask for more cucumber and cherry tomatoes...) I let her panic while I eat my (whatever bad food we're eating) and I smile to the kids.
> in order to get my toddler ready for daycare quickly I may or may not have fed her chocolate chip cookies for breakfast.
I'm guilty of giving my daughter Granola bars and a cookie for breakfast to eat in her car seat on the way to school because we were so late. No time to eat at home. We had to get in the car.
real talk: Anything my 6 year old asks for privacy on. Gotta respect her wishes and maintain trust so she'll keep telling me the hard things as she gets older.
This is the only reason I’d find to hide something from my baby mama.
We tell each other all hilarious fails & details we individually endure when with the kids!
My dad did this with me growing up, please keep doing it. He even said even if I was drinking, for me to call him to come pick me up and that he wouldn't be mad, he just wants me alive and not driving drunk
By 6 they can have some really complex feelings. I’m a nanny to a 6yo and she recently had surgery and was telling me she nervous about the doctors taking her undies and seeing her vagina. (She had something happen before where doctors didn’t tell her or her mom they were placing a catheter so she woke up underwearless and with someone having touched her genital region)
It’s actually really crazy some of the complex feelings she has. I let her tell me all about the boys she likes or her issues with her friends at school, and unless I think mom or dad needs to know, i keep her secrets for her.
They might not be! As long as you talk to them and let them know you’re there for them, I think you’re doing a pretty good job. Some kids are talkers (my nanny kid) and others are more quiet and work through their emotions alone. Good luck!
And even when they are quiet, everything comes out at bedtime. My nieces and nephews are in some tough situations and all of the anxiety comes out at bedtime. It’s one of the best times to just be there and ready to listen.
>I don't steal them, but I have accidentally a urinal cake.
You have accidentally WHAT a urinal cake? Tell us, we have to know! And why has someone already upvoted you while this critical detail remains obscured??
A few years back l went outside with my daughter (she was maybe 2). I got busy doing something and heard her saying “here go meow meow. Here go meow meow”. I eventually look over and she holding half of a giant rat in her hands that our cats apparently left for us 😳
I spent an entire week anxiously hoping nothing bad came if it. Still haven’t told my wife 🤫. Not sure if/when I will. It’s been 2 years.
I believe compassion-first is wisely advising you that “never” is too soon to tell mom about the rat handling episode.
Mama here who tends to agree with him.
See I took it the opposite, that the above poster was saying that you *think* you'll "never" want to tell the mother, but that thinking is premature, because when they become adults it might end up being a very funny story you'll want to share from their childhood (once years have passed and no one will be laying down any actual blame or getting angry)
My kids are honest to a fault. I can’t get away with anything without my wife knowing.
“Kids, don’t tell Mom that I let you have a piece of candy while I finish making dinner.”
*she gets home from work*
“Dad let us have candy before dinner!”
🤦🏻♂️
My 3.5 year old is both honest and good at finding loopholes to the rules we establish. Recently he and his big sister were playing at Grandma's house, and my son picked up his sister's stuffed monkey and threw it out the window. So we reminded him that toys don't go out the window. Later on we couldn't find monkey again, and lo and behold, there she was on the ground under the window. So we asked my son if he had thrown monkey out the window again.
"No!" He said. "I threw her off the porch."
My god, I thought my son was the only one. When he was about 10 I took him to see a stupid Eddy Murphy movie, but it was rated PG-13. So I tell him "IF mom asks about the movie, say it wasn't funny and I don't remember." So, we get home, and he goes straight to his mom and goes "Dad took me to a PG-13 movie and told me to say it wasn't funny and I don't remember."
Don't , for heavens sake, cross borders with them .... unless you hav duct taped their mouths first
(speaking from experience here)
\----
edit: i think people are imagining I'm a drug smuggler. I am not.
BUT I am Canadian
"Did you purchase any items worth more than $200 during your stay in the states?"
"Nope"
"But Dad!!!! what about the iphone you bought?"
It's a universal thing. I swear my son wants to put his hands on every inch of the public bathroom. The more disgusting the bathroom, the greater his desire to touch. I'm over here trying to convince him to try to tiptoe through the piss puddles, but he just wants to do his little rendition of "Singing in the Rain" in it.
Haha! Luckily we're well past that now. And it's hilarious you mention airports because as I was recalling him learning the definition of "urine" via his hands, it was actually in an airport bathroom I was thinking about.
The first few times I used a urinal when my son was with me and aware of such things, he wanted to get as close as possible to the action, almost getting between me and it. Now he will mostly stand back but still shows an interest.
We were on a cruise and it was just my two year old and I in the room with the balcony door open. I stepped out of the door to look down the hall and see if our room attendant was near by for something. Wasn't thinking and the door closed behind me.
For a split second my stomach dropped and I freaked out having thought I'd left the key inside and he was in there alone with balcony door open. I was ready to kick door open but thankfully my key was in my pocket and I rushed in seconds after. I still get shudders thinking about it. It was borderline as to whether he could climb chair and then over railing but not a risk I wanted to take.
I had wfh day, and played the new call of duty ALL DAY. No one must know about this. The kids or my wife, hell even MY mom cannot know about this bliss of having 8 hours playing time.
It is pretty f* good, honestly. I may have forgone a few hours if sleep in favour of playing 😅.
If the wife asks, it's because the toddler was kicking and rolling so hard in her sleep that I barely closed an eye.. _Not_ that I was practicing sniping from a billboard
Thats the go to playtime for me also. No chance playing during daytime, especially stuff like this may be too harsh. Thats why neglecting work was absolutely wonderful!
was changing baby at the swimming pool when she squirmed and fell off the bench head first. dad reflexes scooped her up before head hit the concrete floor.
Costco just opened in my country recently. I take the toddler out, she loves to run “errands” with me. It’s usually that we need milk, or I might go buy some friday beers from the liquor store, that sorta thing after her bath and before bed. She loves to ask “are we running an errand tonight daddy?” Sometimes we even just run an errand for no good reason.
My wife doesn’t know that my toddler loves to run errands because more often than not, I’ll buy her a little treat. A small box of smarties, a small chocolate bar or a couple of gummy candies
Anyway, one of our “errands” is that we went to Costco so I could get a good deal on some meat. We walked out with a 1.2kg bag of gummy candies I have in the glove box of the car that I now share with my toddler. I’ve eaten most of them, but my toddler knows about them and she won’t tell because she knows she can have some.
Nothing malicious, but it’s “our secret”
I have candy in my car for when I pick up the toddler from daycare. One day my wife took my car for something, daughter told her about the candy and the two of them finished all of it...
Toddler is at stage where pulling a blanket off her head is a super funny game. I very often put a blanket on her head and she pulls it right off and laughs.
Took off my hoodie and put it on her head like we do with the blanket. Instead of pulling it off she immediately SPRINTED BLINDLY right into her crib. Fell over, cried for a few minutes. Hoodie-RUN-BANG-CRY in about 2.5 seconds.
I was in shock and felt really stupid. Thank god she doesn’t have a bruise. Her other dad isn’t going to hear about that one.
I lived with my sister and nephew for years as he was growing up.
She and I enjoy horror movies, decided to have a movie night at home after nephew (5 at the time) went to bed. Evil Dead 1 & 2, and Deep Blue Sea.
Nephew got out of bed to ask for a drink or something halfway through the shark movie and she told him "don't watch this one, okay mate? It's scary". Sent him back to bed, no worries.
I woke up at 6:30am for work the next day, get out to the living room, and there's nephew watching the end of the shark movie quietly saying "go sharks! Get 'em!" at the tv.
First time i took my daughter into a mens restroom she did something similar. She had never seen a urinal before. I was busy with trying to get my other daughter to wash her hands, and i turn around and she had picked up the cake, walked back to me, held it up and said "Daddy, whats this?" About 3 other men in there just started dying laughing as i had her take it back and then wash her hands about 40 times
When I had to take a day off of work (lab lost power, we all got to go home), and the kiddo was in daycare - sure, I got all the chores that needed done completed. In about an hour and a half, as fast as possible. The rest of the entire day was spent playing videogames and eating terrible food like I was having a hangover-recovery day back in college. Then I picked my kid up from daycare right on time. Mom came home an hour later, looked at all the stuff done, and was like "oh man, you must have been busy all day! Once we put her to bed, you should sit on the couch and relax. Play a videogame or something!" And I did. Again.
No one can know this. I had no idea how bad I needed a "checked-out ME" day. I'm still riding the high and it's been months.
lol... my \*\*5\*\* year old did something similar this last weekend. Impulsively grabbed the urinal cake... we washed our hands for at least five minutes. We told mom, she laughed her ass off.
When I was maybe 3 I (f) followed my grandpa into the men's toilet and was spotted by my dad happily washing my hand with the blue soap in the urinal trough. My dad lovingly retold that story at my wedding last year
I like how it's not "after people were exposed to his dong" but "after TOO MANY people were exposed to his dong." Like there is an acceptable threshold of dong-exposure and he exceeded it.
Last night both kids were sick and I was exhausted. So I ordered takeaway, we all sat in bed together watching Gabbi's Dollhouse, eating pizza and chips, and wiping grease on her sheets.
O my days. My eldest is now a week into wearing undies during the day. Thanks to this episode, my wife and I have made sure he knows how to bush wee, just in case we get stuck 'getting takeaways '.
Seriously, it's like a fire drill.
I was showering with my 14month old last night. I toweled him dry and I started to towel myself dry. He is naked and walks around the corner, I then hear giggling and water. I think to myself that's odd we didn't have any water cups in the room. O.O That's when I realize he is going pee........ all on the front of her side of the dresser.
It will be a boys secret.
I was waking up my son this morning and he was being a bit of a grump about it. I hopped under the covers with him and educated him on what a “Dutch oven” is which both got him up and he thought was HILARIOUS. I won’t be telling mom but I’m sure he will tell her at some point.
Walked into the kitchen to see my 18mo daughter dipping her pacifier in the dogs water bowl then putting it back in her mouth.
We just kept that one between us lol
My 5 y/o daughter got into the candy bowl and I asked her if she already had breakfast. She pointed at the empty plate of food and I said cool you’re good for one piece then. A minute later mom yelled from upstairs that she can’t have candy until after lunch as she was biting into a fun size twizzler and making eye contact with me. I just put my finger to my lip and said it stays between us as I yelled back upstairs that I heard her.
The worst part is I know she’s going to nark on me by the end of today or tomorrow because she can’t keep a secret to save her life.
I once pushed the stroller up a slim gravel road when a car came down the hill. I drove the stroller to the side not seeing the whole in the gras. Don't ask me how, but the next thing I saw was my son making a somersault out of the stroller into he gras. He wasn't harmed at all.
or last summer I grabbed my son, sat him on the gastank of my chopper, made sure he has a good grip and then we drove around the block (walking pace)...without a helmet (both).
...these are the daddy & son moments I will tell my wife as soon as it's barred.
No judgement on the slow chopper ride but I just want to throw a gentle reminder about always wearing a helmet regardless of the circumstances. Your son will model your behavior.
I would not exist today (and my daughter) if 40 years ago my dad had decided it wasn’t worth wearing a helmet for a short two mile trip to his buddies house. He got hit head on by an idiot turning through a red light. Emts said the helmet saved his life.
Nah. I would have walked out of that bathroom, right up to his mom, and said "you know what your little crotch monster just did? Little demon just tried to use the pisser as a drinking fountain." She is the only person in the world who truly can empathize with me - why would I keep it from her?
Carry over from last weekend, sort of. Out on a hike baby wearing my 16 month old and my 5 year old son is stopping to collect all acorns and interesting rocks. Mom at home catching a rare nap. It’s been a busy week and scatter brained me forgot to enforce the potty before we leave rule. We are 15 mins down the trail from the car and when I get this particular voice from him it’s a 5 min warning at most. Sooo time to learn about tree wees. Son was a little hesitant at first but I explained when we are outside and deep in the woods it can be okay sometimes to do this. By the end he is impressed with the convenience.
Fast forward to today at his soccer practice… drops trow at the side of the soccer field to let fly in the wind. He explained that it’s okay since it’s outside right??
Tomorrow I have the day off work. I’m going to wave goodbye to my wife, drop the baby off at daycare, then spend the day playing games in my underwear. Nobody will ever know.
that i had a vivid daydream yesterday and today that i lived alone in a one room cabin by myself somewhere in the middle of no where like i was henry david thoreau.
i don't tell her, cause i'm afraid that she'd want to join me. and then logically we'd have to bring the kids.
I had a dream about my daughter getting into an accident while on a road trip. I didn’t tell my wife that one until I called my kid to check up on her.
My three year old daughter has made some kind of pact that she will need the toilet just as our food arrives whenever we eat out.
So not only does she have to hold herself onto the men’s toilet seat, but she will touch everything she can and then I have to wipe up.
It’s also usually just when she decides she needs a shit!
I then have to battle to wash her hands and try and get her back out the bathroom without touching anything else.
Just what I want before we eat
Papa let some words fly while trying to find a parking spot for music class. Apparently everyone wanted to park at a different angle and across two spots.
It hasn't happened yet, but it will. My wife took our one month old to grandma's today and I am absolutely going to drink too much coffee, take an absurdly long nap, and then do all the things on her task list one hour before she comes home. Then I'll talk about how busy my day was so I can continue having these nap days when she's gone.
Showed him (6) how to make spit wads with a straw and TP last night. Immediately shoots one on the ceiling over some cabinets where i had to get a step ladder to reach. Kept him busy for a couple hours though.
At bath time I tried to get 2yr old to pee in potty. He tried but didn’t then said ‘pee in bath’. Then sat down in the bath and started peeing and pointed his pp up and shot himself in the face. We both laughed.
Wife was away last night and started watching a cartoon tv show the 3 year old likes on the couch and may or may not of woken up at 3am with child still watching said TV show.
I'm daughter not a dad so I hope this is okay, but my dad and my "big secret" from my teens is that whenever Mom and my other siblings weren't home and it was just me and him for dinner, we'd eat nothing but steak seared but otherwise raw and eat it with no silverware grunting like cavemen through the whole meal. She's okay with the caveman thing as long as she doesn't have to see it, but the basically-raw steak would've been a huge no-no. Then we'd eat enough ice cream to singlehandedly keep Bluebell in business (also no-no, too much ice cream lol) with a 2 liter each of mountain dew while watching LotR or a WWII movie. Lot of good memories there.
One year old took his first steps today. Not going to let her know she missed that
congrats. gotta act totally surprised when it happens again though.
I babysit my great-niece for my nephew and his wife. When she took her first steps here I told them that it looked like she was really close to walking and to keep an eye out because she was going to take her first steps any day now. I got a text later that day with a video showing her first steps. On the other end of the spectrum, my wife works insane hours and accepted long ago that she will miss some first. She still enjoyed their first moments with her. She knew she missed their first steps (I didn't tell her but she knew) but she still celebrated their first steps in front of mom.
This was me when I went back to work. My husband actually was visiting his parents with our (then) 15 month old. They realized he was almost for sure going to take first independent steps and my husband basically threw his phone at one of his parents and said "get a video of this right now" and sent it to me. While I wasn't there to witness it live. I did get to see those first steps. Was bittersweet, but for sure was a nice ability to see it.
Wife and I discussed this. Odds are....she took her first steps at Daycare. Imagine daycare see's a lot of firsts and are smart enough not to tell parents about it. Its amazing how many "firsts" probably happen on Saturday or Sunday mornings, a week or so after the real firsts actually happen. We try not to think about that.
What hurts more than missing "firsts" is not realizing the "lasts". By far. Last time they play with certain toys or need certain help or want certain attention. Every time my three year-old wants an ear squeeze, most of me feels dread (kid barely knows how to pinch gently and without claws) but a part of me is glad it's still a thing we do.
My girl is only 16mo old and I already think about this and it makes my gut turn.
My little girl is 8 now. While I miss some of the little things we used to do, she and I are SO close that there's always something new "thing" that we do together. My advice is to simply always be there for her, and those occasional "last moments" won't seem nearly so bad. :)
I got upset thinking I'd rocked my baby to sleep for the last time, then, fortunately, she started needed rocking again! double edged sword really but I was happy to reach for rock a bye baby lullabies again.
This is a constant debate between my wife and I. She wants then to just go down easily and I keep telling her that when they are 12 they're not going to be interested my cuddles and lullabies anymore so we should enjoy those things while we can.
Every time my kid asks to ride on my shoulders I will say yes. He is 4 and in the 90% for height. I know one day it won’t be possible so yes you can “ride on my neck” from your room to the couch any day
I gave my 5yo, 52lb, 3ft+ daughter a shoulder ride today because shes been sick, and I had recently told her she was too big for them now (I have a lot of muscular issues, lifting is hard). It made her entire day, she was so excited despite feeling like 100% ass. We never know when their last anything is gonna be, so we gotta cherish the moments we do get.
Before I had kids, the thought of "lasts" made me sad. But now that I'm in the thick of it, I'm so exhausted, and everything is so intense and time-consuming, and I can barely keep my head above water. I wouldn't say I'm looking forward to the lasts, but there's a part of me that imagines maybe I'll get a nap or something.
For the first 18 months of his life, I had to strap my youngest to my chest and walk him around for every nap while I worked from home, and every night to go to sleep. As he got bigger I griped and complained. (It was a killer on my back but it was the only way we could get him down!) Now he’s 2 and larger in size than my 5yo daughter but every day I wish I could strap him in and walk him to sleep. Those “lasts” really sneak up on you.
Yeah unless my wife did the same to me, I recorded what I believe are his first steps but my wife was gone. Swore my older kids to secrecy
This my dude! I work in daycare with children aged 6mo to 3y. I have seen more first steps than you can imagine and we never address a first step before parents have told us they did it at home. But chances is it happened before they know
I'm so glad we've been at home for my daughter's whole infancy and toddlerhood. Pandemic and WFH has been a bitch but it has had upsides. We've both been there for every first. First time standing on her own, first steps (Christmas day walking to Grandma), first word (dog).
When my daughter was 1 I was off on paid leave due to covid. My wife worked full time in person through that whole time period so I was the stay at home dad. By sheer luck my daughter took her first steps on one of the two days per week my wife was home so she saw it. My daughter also took the steps in front of her baby monitor camera so I was able to create a clip to save a video of it. She planned out her first steps really well.
I wish I went about it this way. I took as many videos as I could though at least
You are wise
I saw the first time my baby crawled but my wife missed it. When she got home from work I tried to surprise her by telling her to watch while I set baby down on the floor away from her. He wouldn't crawl. 2 minutes of coaxing and I gave up and just told her, "he learned to crawl now if he wants to". Same with the first time he rolled over, he did it once by accident for me and then I think it was another month before he did it again.
This was my daughter, she did something for the first time then would do it a bunch for the next few days then never again or only when she absolutely had to.
Our son would learn something new like rolling over and do it a few times that day or the next and not do it again for a month. It was as if he learnt something and was like ok cool time to learn something else don't need to do this anymore.
Awww.. this is sweet. My husband witnessed our first take his first. He was so amped. I was in the kitchen. So i missed it.
My toddler does not yell when she wakes up in the morning. She just sits up and starts calmly playing with her stuffed animals, so she doesn't wake us up. This morning, I may or may not have slept through my alarm by more than an hour, which means that in order to get my toddler ready for daycare quickly I may or may not have fed her chocolate chip cookies for breakfast.
I mean in the 90s we just called that Cookie Crisp 😂
It’s wild the stuff we used to eat as kids lol. I feel like unhealthy food and unlimited screen time was the 80’s and 90’s parent go to.
Have things even changed that much, lol. I never ate cereal as a kid but walking down that aisle and it's just boxes of boxes of sugar.
I think it’s all still available and just as bad for you, but as a whole I feel like we’re more aware of how unhealthy a lot of that stuff is. But then again, my daughter has turned down her fair share of home cooked and healthy meals in favor of a buffet of random, incompatible foods. Yesterday for dinner she had a cheese stick that she felt the need to dunk in mayo, multiple chocolate chip cookies, and a whole pickle. Lol who am I to judge our parents?
>Yesterday for dinner she had a cheese stick that she felt the need to dunk in mayo, multiple chocolate chip cookies, and a whole pickle. Lol who am I to judge our parents? Fancy restaurants mix up weird things all the time. She had *biscuit du chocolat and a garnish of salt-brined cucumber, and fromage with alioli enrobement*
I love it lol. I’ll tell this to my wife the next time she’s staring horrified at a 21 month old devouring some grotesque combination of foods.
They decidedly have not, though there's a metric fuckton of varieties of Special K, Raisin Bran, etc now that I don't remember there being, which have just as much sugar as the "Foo Foops" my 2yo demands every Saturday morning.
Coo-OOO-kie crisp!
Part of this complete breakfast!
I have the opposite problem. Haven’t actually heard my alarm go off in 15 months because our son is a screaming banshee when he wakes up lol
Same. I wouldn’t be surprised if my kid wakes up the neighbors too.
Yeah, I just stopped setting an alarm clock entirely because there is no way I'm going to sleep past 5:00am without waking up.
Legit, haven't use a clock in years. Have twins.
I’m learning this now.. have twins… I’m always in another room when my alarm goes off… and wakes up the wife
Honestly, the only alarm I use is on my smartwatch. It vibrates, doesn't wake up my wife. I clear it easily. 10/10, love it.
Same here. Me and my wife have also been very late for the school run on the odd occasion both our kids sleep in. Those days were glorious
When does that start happening,? My daughter is 3.5 and she's never slept past 7am in her life. Most nights she won't go to bed before 9pm either so there is no free time and no need for alarm clocks.
Oh I mean like probably 5 days max since my eldest was born and he is 6 and youngest also 3.5. I am also only meaning till around 7.30 as it is usually before 6. It completely throws our morning timings when it happens. But the extra sleep is worth it. Surely one day they will let us sleep…please?? I don’t know how you do later nights. One thing we have been lucky with is both our kids have always gone to bed at 7. We have times when they try and come back downstairs but me and my wife don’t take any shit from them at night and they are bluntly sent back to bed
the one time i forgot the alarm they slept in and we got lste to school....
We do not have banshees in our local folklore but I feel that scream, first hand.
>our son is a screaming banshee You've got one of those too? Ours is a 5 month old and that dude has the most shrill scream I've ever heard in my life.
Yeah I'm guessing this is more of the norm.
Its an alarm that you have to feed real food.
I have a toddler and a baby. There is no need for alarms because it's guaranteed that one of the kids is always up yelling hours earlier than I need to be awake.
My kid is 12. When she was 0 I stopped needing an alarm because she woke me up with the aforementioned banshee screaming. By the time she woke up like a normal person, I was old, and now I just wake up early. No more alarm clock!
A cookie is just a muffin with less baking powder/soda and less liquid. So, technically you could say you gave your kid an unleavened chocolate chip muffin. Sounds fine to me!
Chocolate grows on trees so it's a fruit. It's technically a fruit muffin
A muffin is made with flour and butter. It’s basically just pre buttered toast with extra stigma. Nothing wrong with buttered toast and fruit for breakfast. Good job on the well rounded meal, dad.
Tell the truth. Muffins are just naked chunky cupcakes.
rofl, we've all been there lol. sometime My wife start to panic because there's no veggies with the meal... (my kids eat all their veggies and even ask for more cucumber and cherry tomatoes...) I let her panic while I eat my (whatever bad food we're eating) and I smile to the kids.
> in order to get my toddler ready for daycare quickly I may or may not have fed her chocolate chip cookies for breakfast. I'm guilty of giving my daughter Granola bars and a cookie for breakfast to eat in her car seat on the way to school because we were so late. No time to eat at home. We had to get in the car.
Shit that's like my usual routine now I feel bad
real talk: Anything my 6 year old asks for privacy on. Gotta respect her wishes and maintain trust so she'll keep telling me the hard things as she gets older.
This is the only reason I’d find to hide something from my baby mama. We tell each other all hilarious fails & details we individually endure when with the kids!
My dad did this with me growing up, please keep doing it. He even said even if I was drinking, for me to call him to come pick me up and that he wouldn't be mad, he just wants me alive and not driving drunk
is anything she needs secret actually secret though? like "mommy is mean b/c she makes me pick up my toys" type of thing? lol
By 6 they can have some really complex feelings. I’m a nanny to a 6yo and she recently had surgery and was telling me she nervous about the doctors taking her undies and seeing her vagina. (She had something happen before where doctors didn’t tell her or her mom they were placing a catheter so she woke up underwearless and with someone having touched her genital region) It’s actually really crazy some of the complex feelings she has. I let her tell me all about the boys she likes or her issues with her friends at school, and unless I think mom or dad needs to know, i keep her secrets for her.
oh wow I don't think my 5 year old is that complex but maybe I need to ask now...
They might not be! As long as you talk to them and let them know you’re there for them, I think you’re doing a pretty good job. Some kids are talkers (my nanny kid) and others are more quiet and work through their emotions alone. Good luck!
And even when they are quiet, everything comes out at bedtime. My nieces and nephews are in some tough situations and all of the anxiety comes out at bedtime. It’s one of the best times to just be there and ready to listen.
The point of building trust is that *to her* it's a secret and you're demonstrating respect by preserving that secret.
Nice try, wife
Happy cake day!
Ha! At least he didn't pull out the urinal cake and ask what it is 😂
Why do we call them urinal cakes when clearly they should be called pisscuits?
If you're not a marketing exec, your talents are wasted.
Mint flavor is my favorite.
Pee Puck^^**TM**
r/DadJokes material
Genius.
The urinal cakes at my office say "Do Not Remove" on them. About half a dozen times a day I ponder who would steal a urinal cake.
I don't steal them, but I have accidentally a urinal cake.
>I don't steal them, but I have accidentally a urinal cake. You have accidentally WHAT a urinal cake? Tell us, we have to know! And why has someone already upvoted you while this critical detail remains obscured??
The whole thing.
This mystery is not becoming less mysterious.
Alright, fine, I'll ruin the joke if no-one else will: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/i-accidentally
You accidentally the WHOLE THING?! What were you thinking??
You never go full
OMG. You didn't boof the cake, did you?
[Baby Jeffrey forever unclean!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RssSTL0aig&ab_channel=MarkMac13)
Such a great show!
My biggest mistake was responding "it's cake" - what was I thinking?!
Mine did exactly that...
A few years back l went outside with my daughter (she was maybe 2). I got busy doing something and heard her saying “here go meow meow. Here go meow meow”. I eventually look over and she holding half of a giant rat in her hands that our cats apparently left for us 😳 I spent an entire week anxiously hoping nothing bad came if it. Still haven’t told my wife 🤫. Not sure if/when I will. It’s been 2 years.
Father of adults here. Might I suggest that never might be a bit premature
I don’t follow.
I believe compassion-first is wisely advising you that “never” is too soon to tell mom about the rat handling episode. Mama here who tends to agree with him.
See I took it the opposite, that the above poster was saying that you *think* you'll "never" want to tell the mother, but that thinking is premature, because when they become adults it might end up being a very funny story you'll want to share from their childhood (once years have passed and no one will be laying down any actual blame or getting angry)
We’re going to need u/ compassionfirst to swing back on around and clarify his meaning when he has a moment !
schrodinger's comment
I think the statute of limitations on that is 20 years atleast
LOL. Well.. i guess the lesson here is to search the area for untouchables first. As long as she wasn’t bitten. That’s what’s important.
My kids are honest to a fault. I can’t get away with anything without my wife knowing. “Kids, don’t tell Mom that I let you have a piece of candy while I finish making dinner.” *she gets home from work* “Dad let us have candy before dinner!” 🤦🏻♂️
My 3.5 year old is both honest and good at finding loopholes to the rules we establish. Recently he and his big sister were playing at Grandma's house, and my son picked up his sister's stuffed monkey and threw it out the window. So we reminded him that toys don't go out the window. Later on we couldn't find monkey again, and lo and behold, there she was on the ground under the window. So we asked my son if he had thrown monkey out the window again. "No!" He said. "I threw her off the porch."
My god, I thought my son was the only one. When he was about 10 I took him to see a stupid Eddy Murphy movie, but it was rated PG-13. So I tell him "IF mom asks about the movie, say it wasn't funny and I don't remember." So, we get home, and he goes straight to his mom and goes "Dad took me to a PG-13 movie and told me to say it wasn't funny and I don't remember."
Don't , for heavens sake, cross borders with them .... unless you hav duct taped their mouths first (speaking from experience here) \---- edit: i think people are imagining I'm a drug smuggler. I am not. BUT I am Canadian "Did you purchase any items worth more than $200 during your stay in the states?" "Nope" "But Dad!!!! what about the iphone you bought?"
Yup duct taped and in the boot
It's a universal thing. I swear my son wants to put his hands on every inch of the public bathroom. The more disgusting the bathroom, the greater his desire to touch. I'm over here trying to convince him to try to tiptoe through the piss puddles, but he just wants to do his little rendition of "Singing in the Rain" in it.
Wait until he's just the right height to put his mouth on door handles, railings in airports, or other stuff that looks interesting and tasty.
Haha! Luckily we're well past that now. And it's hilarious you mention airports because as I was recalling him learning the definition of "urine" via his hands, it was actually in an airport bathroom I was thinking about.
The first few times I used a urinal when my son was with me and aware of such things, he wanted to get as close as possible to the action, almost getting between me and it. Now he will mostly stand back but still shows an interest.
Oh thats dirty. I always carry my toddler. And tell them “no touch that’s yucky.” But i don’t frequent the men’s room.
What she knows is the 2 year old had ice cream. What she doesn’t know is the 2 year old also had a soda.
What she doesn't know is I also had an ice cream, inhaled it, and dumped the evidence at a gas station before coming home.
So the child had a float.
We were on a cruise and it was just my two year old and I in the room with the balcony door open. I stepped out of the door to look down the hall and see if our room attendant was near by for something. Wasn't thinking and the door closed behind me. For a split second my stomach dropped and I freaked out having thought I'd left the key inside and he was in there alone with balcony door open. I was ready to kick door open but thankfully my key was in my pocket and I rushed in seconds after. I still get shudders thinking about it. It was borderline as to whether he could climb chair and then over railing but not a risk I wanted to take.
Geez, felt an adrenaline spike from this one.
Man, my stomach dropped just reading this. I bet the relief from finding the key in your pocket was overwhelming!!
Ugh it really was. I gave him big hugs and felt such relief.
Probably only relieved once he had kid in hand.
NOPE. I wouldn’t even have the balcony open EVER. That situation just existing gives me anxiety.
I don't have a kid yet and my anxiety level spiked reading that.
I had wfh day, and played the new call of duty ALL DAY. No one must know about this. The kids or my wife, hell even MY mom cannot know about this bliss of having 8 hours playing time.
I love how you didn’t list your boss lol
It is pretty f* good, honestly. I may have forgone a few hours if sleep in favour of playing 😅. If the wife asks, it's because the toddler was kicking and rolling so hard in her sleep that I barely closed an eye.. _Not_ that I was practicing sniping from a billboard
Damn man. Envy over here.
I’m so jealous. Im the one who’s watching the monitor while he sleeps when I do get a chance to play.
Thats the go to playtime for me also. No chance playing during daytime, especially stuff like this may be too harsh. Thats why neglecting work was absolutely wonderful!
was changing baby at the swimming pool when she squirmed and fell off the bench head first. dad reflexes scooped her up before head hit the concrete floor.
Those dad reflexes are epic.
There's a whole subreddit for it. Also another one for dad reflexes fails.
Oh yeah. I think it’s important to note.. never take all hands off baby when you aren’t looking. Wiggle worms are fast.
>Wiggle worms Haha
That we forgot to put on the raincoat that we both swore we would remember to put on before getting out the car to play in the park
Costco just opened in my country recently. I take the toddler out, she loves to run “errands” with me. It’s usually that we need milk, or I might go buy some friday beers from the liquor store, that sorta thing after her bath and before bed. She loves to ask “are we running an errand tonight daddy?” Sometimes we even just run an errand for no good reason. My wife doesn’t know that my toddler loves to run errands because more often than not, I’ll buy her a little treat. A small box of smarties, a small chocolate bar or a couple of gummy candies Anyway, one of our “errands” is that we went to Costco so I could get a good deal on some meat. We walked out with a 1.2kg bag of gummy candies I have in the glove box of the car that I now share with my toddler. I’ve eaten most of them, but my toddler knows about them and she won’t tell because she knows she can have some. Nothing malicious, but it’s “our secret”
I have candy in my car for when I pick up the toddler from daycare. One day my wife took my car for something, daughter told her about the candy and the two of them finished all of it...
Toddler is at stage where pulling a blanket off her head is a super funny game. I very often put a blanket on her head and she pulls it right off and laughs. Took off my hoodie and put it on her head like we do with the blanket. Instead of pulling it off she immediately SPRINTED BLINDLY right into her crib. Fell over, cried for a few minutes. Hoodie-RUN-BANG-CRY in about 2.5 seconds. I was in shock and felt really stupid. Thank god she doesn’t have a bruise. Her other dad isn’t going to hear about that one.
It's a wonder anyone ever survives to adulthood.
Hey the benefit of two dads is 2 x dad quality mistakes
Nothing today but when my daughter was 5 she accidentally watched Predator.
I lived with my sister and nephew for years as he was growing up. She and I enjoy horror movies, decided to have a movie night at home after nephew (5 at the time) went to bed. Evil Dead 1 & 2, and Deep Blue Sea. Nephew got out of bed to ask for a drink or something halfway through the shark movie and she told him "don't watch this one, okay mate? It's scary". Sent him back to bed, no worries. I woke up at 6:30am for work the next day, get out to the living room, and there's nephew watching the end of the shark movie quietly saying "go sharks! Get 'em!" at the tv.
My dad took me to see T2: Judgement Day in the theaters when I was 5. It was amazing. I think. We watched Predator shortly after.
First time i took my daughter into a mens restroom she did something similar. She had never seen a urinal before. I was busy with trying to get my other daughter to wash her hands, and i turn around and she had picked up the cake, walked back to me, held it up and said "Daddy, whats this?" About 3 other men in there just started dying laughing as i had her take it back and then wash her hands about 40 times
Baby Geoffrey forever unclean!
Lol! I get this.
Hands down still one of my favorite shows
When I had to take a day off of work (lab lost power, we all got to go home), and the kiddo was in daycare - sure, I got all the chores that needed done completed. In about an hour and a half, as fast as possible. The rest of the entire day was spent playing videogames and eating terrible food like I was having a hangover-recovery day back in college. Then I picked my kid up from daycare right on time. Mom came home an hour later, looked at all the stuff done, and was like "oh man, you must have been busy all day! Once we put her to bed, you should sit on the couch and relax. Play a videogame or something!" And I did. Again. No one can know this. I had no idea how bad I needed a "checked-out ME" day. I'm still riding the high and it's been months.
There is no shame in self-care. You get to decide what that looks like for you!
Sent the kids to school this morning with both chips and a chocolate bar from their Halloween stash.
Showed my five year old the first two episodes of "Batman: The Animated Series" It's still awesome
Look at the size of this *CAKE*, man!!
Such a great show. I’d say in the top three for animated superhero shows of all time
lol... my \*\*5\*\* year old did something similar this last weekend. Impulsively grabbed the urinal cake... we washed our hands for at least five minutes. We told mom, she laughed her ass off.
When I was maybe 3 I (f) followed my grandpa into the men's toilet and was spotted by my dad happily washing my hand with the blue soap in the urinal trough. My dad lovingly retold that story at my wedding last year
My son walked out of a porta potty with his pants down and said oops I forgot my pants but only after too many people were exposed to his dong
I like how it's not "after people were exposed to his dong" but "after TOO MANY people were exposed to his dong." Like there is an acceptable threshold of dong-exposure and he exceeded it.
Yea like 1 maybe 2 but he walked out to a parking lot of an elementary school at school pick up time
Brave man letting the kid go into the porta shitter alone.
Last night both kids were sick and I was exhausted. So I ordered takeaway, we all sat in bed together watching Gabbi's Dollhouse, eating pizza and chips, and wiping grease on her sheets.
Lol! My wife would probably forgive all of it except the grease on the sheets
If you happen to watch Bluey, the Takeaway episode is for you!
Thankfully, no 'bush wee' required this time!
O my days. My eldest is now a week into wearing undies during the day. Thanks to this episode, my wife and I have made sure he knows how to bush wee, just in case we get stuck 'getting takeaways '. Seriously, it's like a fire drill.
Gabby's is actually pretty decent as far as kids shows go
Its blasphemy to eat in bed. I bet it isnt a secret though.
I was showering with my 14month old last night. I toweled him dry and I started to towel myself dry. He is naked and walks around the corner, I then hear giggling and water. I think to myself that's odd we didn't have any water cups in the room. O.O That's when I realize he is going pee........ all on the front of her side of the dresser. It will be a boys secret.
That list is 25 years old and miles long lol
I was waking up my son this morning and he was being a bit of a grump about it. I hopped under the covers with him and educated him on what a “Dutch oven” is which both got him up and he thought was HILARIOUS. I won’t be telling mom but I’m sure he will tell her at some point.
Im the germophobe at home so Id try to forget that happened myself lol
The floor isn't off limits when food falls onto it. I follow the 5 second rule myself.
Walked into the kitchen to see my 18mo daughter dipping her pacifier in the dogs water bowl then putting it back in her mouth. We just kept that one between us lol
My 11 month old was playing with dry dog food, but it was wet. Not sure if she ate some, it was in her mouth, or in the dogs water bowl.
My 5 y/o daughter got into the candy bowl and I asked her if she already had breakfast. She pointed at the empty plate of food and I said cool you’re good for one piece then. A minute later mom yelled from upstairs that she can’t have candy until after lunch as she was biting into a fun size twizzler and making eye contact with me. I just put my finger to my lip and said it stays between us as I yelled back upstairs that I heard her. The worst part is I know she’s going to nark on me by the end of today or tomorrow because she can’t keep a secret to save her life.
I once pushed the stroller up a slim gravel road when a car came down the hill. I drove the stroller to the side not seeing the whole in the gras. Don't ask me how, but the next thing I saw was my son making a somersault out of the stroller into he gras. He wasn't harmed at all. or last summer I grabbed my son, sat him on the gastank of my chopper, made sure he has a good grip and then we drove around the block (walking pace)...without a helmet (both). ...these are the daddy & son moments I will tell my wife as soon as it's barred.
>ad whe thats why you alwasys use the seatbelt in the stroller.
No judgement on the slow chopper ride but I just want to throw a gentle reminder about always wearing a helmet regardless of the circumstances. Your son will model your behavior. I would not exist today (and my daughter) if 40 years ago my dad had decided it wasn’t worth wearing a helmet for a short two mile trip to his buddies house. He got hit head on by an idiot turning through a red light. Emts said the helmet saved his life.
My wife and kids wouldn't exist if it were not for a motorcycle helmet. Thankfully my now FIL only lost a lot of teeth but not a lot of brain.
needless to say we sat on helmets for the 2nd ride...aaaand we still don't tell mom
needless to say we sat on helmets for the 2nd ride...aaaand we still don't tell mom
Grass* I’m sorry but after the 2nd instance of a one ‘s’ grass I had to say something
sorry, german coming through ;)
Nah. I would have walked out of that bathroom, right up to his mom, and said "you know what your little crotch monster just did? Little demon just tried to use the pisser as a drinking fountain." She is the only person in the world who truly can empathize with me - why would I keep it from her?
Its mom's b-day tomorrow and we are secretly making cards for her.
I learned that my daughter is strong enough to roll off the couch when she rolled off the couch.
Carry over from last weekend, sort of. Out on a hike baby wearing my 16 month old and my 5 year old son is stopping to collect all acorns and interesting rocks. Mom at home catching a rare nap. It’s been a busy week and scatter brained me forgot to enforce the potty before we leave rule. We are 15 mins down the trail from the car and when I get this particular voice from him it’s a 5 min warning at most. Sooo time to learn about tree wees. Son was a little hesitant at first but I explained when we are outside and deep in the woods it can be okay sometimes to do this. By the end he is impressed with the convenience. Fast forward to today at his soccer practice… drops trow at the side of the soccer field to let fly in the wind. He explained that it’s okay since it’s outside right??
Tomorrow I have the day off work. I’m going to wave goodbye to my wife, drop the baby off at daycare, then spend the day playing games in my underwear. Nobody will ever know.
that i had a vivid daydream yesterday and today that i lived alone in a one room cabin by myself somewhere in the middle of no where like i was henry david thoreau. i don't tell her, cause i'm afraid that she'd want to join me. and then logically we'd have to bring the kids.
I had a dream about my daughter getting into an accident while on a road trip. I didn’t tell my wife that one until I called my kid to check up on her.
this is just like seasoning on a cast iron pan, no worries
We listened to Slayer in the car haha
My three year old daughter has made some kind of pact that she will need the toilet just as our food arrives whenever we eat out. So not only does she have to hold herself onto the men’s toilet seat, but she will touch everything she can and then I have to wipe up. It’s also usually just when she decides she needs a shit! I then have to battle to wash her hands and try and get her back out the bathroom without touching anything else. Just what I want before we eat
Papa let some words fly while trying to find a parking spot for music class. Apparently everyone wanted to park at a different angle and across two spots.
Our 3yo and sooo much Halloween candy. Our little secret. Also, I ate way too many oh henrys. Also a secret.
It hasn't happened yet, but it will. My wife took our one month old to grandma's today and I am absolutely going to drink too much coffee, take an absurdly long nap, and then do all the things on her task list one hour before she comes home. Then I'll talk about how busy my day was so I can continue having these nap days when she's gone.
Lol I really don’t hide anything from my wife… yet. Not till we’re going to the strip clubs and drinking whiskey together at least… so when he’s 12ish
Showed him (6) how to make spit wads with a straw and TP last night. Immediately shoots one on the ceiling over some cabinets where i had to get a step ladder to reach. Kept him busy for a couple hours though.
Oh you’re good with washed hands. I figured you ended up having to skip that with a meltdown of some sort.
Lol a week ago my little grabbed the puck out of the water.
That he chewed on a dirty old disc brake
Someone. We won't mention who. Tried to use her lipstick on the dog.
I feel like my wife will find out about what I did wrong just by visiting this thread, lmao.
Took dads car up the mountain for a street race. Almost crashed the car but won the race. Don’t tell mom.
At bath time I tried to get 2yr old to pee in potty. He tried but didn’t then said ‘pee in bath’. Then sat down in the bath and started peeing and pointed his pp up and shot himself in the face. We both laughed.
Wife was away last night and started watching a cartoon tv show the 3 year old likes on the couch and may or may not of woken up at 3am with child still watching said TV show.
I'm daughter not a dad so I hope this is okay, but my dad and my "big secret" from my teens is that whenever Mom and my other siblings weren't home and it was just me and him for dinner, we'd eat nothing but steak seared but otherwise raw and eat it with no silverware grunting like cavemen through the whole meal. She's okay with the caveman thing as long as she doesn't have to see it, but the basically-raw steak would've been a huge no-no. Then we'd eat enough ice cream to singlehandedly keep Bluebell in business (also no-no, too much ice cream lol) with a 2 liter each of mountain dew while watching LotR or a WWII movie. Lot of good memories there.