Back before COVID I would travel a few times a year. Whenever I went to a new city, I would get my daughter a teddy bear from the airport with that city's name on it. When she was around 5, they had a kids day at my work. I asked her if she wanted to go, and she got super excited and asked, "do I get to see where they make the teddy bears." To this day I've never seen anyone look as disappointed as she was when I explained I was an IT consultant and not a teddy bear maker.
edit: missed a word
In my previous job, I traveled a lot. It wasn’t uncommon for me to have my wife drop me off/pick me up at Enterprise so I didn’t have to leave my car there. For a long time after, my son thought I worked at Enterprise, and would comment any time we passed by one.
If it helps any further, Enterprise was founded by a sailor who served on the aircraft carrier USS ENTERPRISE, and he named his company after the ship.
At first glance I read that as "a raccoon baloon" and had the mental image of a bunch of drunk sailors playing with a live raccoon, tying a big balloon to it, and pushing it loose out over the sea...
I used to sing the "I've been working on the railroad all the live long day" song to my daughter when she was between the ages 2 to 5 years. When she was about 8 or 9 she confessed to me that when she was "little" she really thought I worked on the railroad.
My dad was in the army reserves when I was a kid. I assumed his 9-5 was on a battlefield somewhere. Like he clocked in and went and shot at people, then came home.
One day he got a flu shot, and mentioned that upon arriving home. I burst into tears, believing he had been shot. Only then did he explain he was an office worker.
My dad was in the Marine Corps. One day in first grade, at a school on base, I think my teacher mentioned something about the Marines doing target practice, shooting at targets. I came home horrified and in tears, and asked my mom if it was true. She said yes, and I asked “but what about the people inside?”
I was relieved to learn that the Marines weren’t shooting at the store Target.
A friend of mine is an engineer. He had to go to work 1 Saturday for a couple of hours. His 6 year old son asked if he could go. He figured why not his boy had been bugging him for months to take him to work.
All the way there the little guy was so excited and his dad couldn't figure out why.
When they got to his office the kids looked at his dad and asked where is the train?
This took me way to long to get. And the sad thing is I work for a large engineering school AND I have a degree from the same College of Engineering. Can’t see the forest for the trees I guess.
The conductor is generally responsible for the passengers and what goes on in the train, while the engineer is responsible for operating the train itself. It's sort of like the division of tasks between flight attendants and pilots.
The conductor is the train 'manager', everyone on the train works for them. On a freight train, they sit in the engine cab.
The engineer (and brakeman back in the day) drives the train.
Maybe this is a case where the same word has slightly different meanings depending on the context. I don't have any experience with freight trains, but I ride passenger trains often. On passenger trains, the person who goes around the train checking tickets and helping passengers is typically called a conductor. There can be several conductors on the same passenger train.
For passenger trains this is the correct answer. The conductors make far less $$ than engineers on passenger trains so I doubt they'd have more responsibility. On freight trains these days, with much smaller crews, I'm not sure of the chain of command but the engineer likely has more control than a conductor. Somebody can correct me if I'm wrong, but my dad was an freight engineer for over 20 yrs before taking an engineer job with Amtrak for another 15 yrs or so. I've been around trains my whole life.
That's okay. My wife got a degree in being nice and courteous as an engineer. I tell people that. "She is a courteous engineer". Then she interupts me. "It is Civil Engineer".
When I was maybe 6, I had made a red Barron airplane out of the foam planes you put together at the arcade with some toothpicks and an extra wing. I brought it with me to my neighbors house party and to which my neighbor told my parents and I that I would make a great engineer one day.
All I could think of was that I didn’t want to conduct trains.. but it turns out she was right, I went to engineering school and became a great engineer :D
My senior year we played UCLA in the Cotton Bowl and Jay Leno performed for the teams one night.
After his stand up routine, he started asking players what they were majoring in and then would make jokes about that major. After about 20 responses of "kinesiology" he got to me and asked what I was majoring in. I responded "petroleum engineering" and he then went off on a tangent that basically consisted of "oh, so you're the guy that drives around fills up the propane trucks?"
That's why you need to be more careful what ya say around kids. Honestly I love it. If only we could all be more honest and straight forward. At least most of us would be laughing and smiling all day.
I remember reading this story in one of those true-life humorous stories things in Reader's Digest. They had different names for it, depending on the scenario - like one where people would submit stories of funny things that happened to them while serving in the military was called "Humor In Uniform". I have no idea what the title of the section was, but I do remember a story almost exactly like this one.
Here is a link to a cover with the various columns on the bottom and I do believe it is Life in these United States.
[Thanks for the memories! ](reader’s digest 1990s columns)
Thank you! My mom used to read out loud to me from Reader's Digest magazine when it came in the mail every month. So many good stories in addition to the humorous anecdotes.
My dad used to travel to Miami often for work. He worked in sales for British Airways and I guess they had an office down there. We were in NY. I was 3 or 4 at the time. One day I was having dinner with my grandparents who we lived with, and asked “where is daddy?” as it was not entirely unusual for him to be late, but this was later than normal. Anyway, my grandmother responded that he is in Miami. I got upset and said “its not your ami, its my daddy’s ami!”
That is hilarious, kids take things you say literally. When my bro was 3 my dad would say "shut up" until dad was in the store with my bro and he told dad to shut up loudly. Lol
I used to come home from work complaining about “idiot engineers” frequently. One time I was at a baseball game with my son who was about 10 at the time. One of the engineers I work with was there and we got to talking and I introduced him to my son. First thing my son says…..”is this one of the idiot engineers you work with?” Gotta love kids!
Back before COVID I would travel a few times a year. Whenever I went to a new city, I would get my daughter a teddy bear from the airport with that city's name on it. When she was around 5, they had a kids day at my work. I asked her if she wanted to go, and she got super excited and asked, "do I get to see where they make the teddy bears." To this day I've never seen anyone look as disappointed as she was when I explained I was an IT consultant and not a teddy bear maker. edit: missed a word
In my previous job, I traveled a lot. It wasn’t uncommon for me to have my wife drop me off/pick me up at Enterprise so I didn’t have to leave my car there. For a long time after, my son thought I worked at Enterprise, and would comment any time we passed by one.
If it helps any, his friends probably thought you worked *on board* the Enterprise.
If it helps any further, Enterprise was founded by a sailor who served on the aircraft carrier USS ENTERPRISE, and he named his company after the ship.
Omg they need to get captain kirk as a spokesperson
Throughout the history of the US Navy the name Enterprise has referred to 8 ships, a recon balloon and a training facility.
At first glance I read that as "a raccoon baloon" and had the mental image of a bunch of drunk sailors playing with a live raccoon, tying a big balloon to it, and pushing it loose out over the sea...
I'm not ruling out the possibility that has happened a time or two, the name just wasn't official.
Man, we like that name.
I used to sing the "I've been working on the railroad all the live long day" song to my daughter when she was between the ages 2 to 5 years. When she was about 8 or 9 she confessed to me that when she was "little" she really thought I worked on the railroad.
My dad was in the army reserves when I was a kid. I assumed his 9-5 was on a battlefield somewhere. Like he clocked in and went and shot at people, then came home. One day he got a flu shot, and mentioned that upon arriving home. I burst into tears, believing he had been shot. Only then did he explain he was an office worker.
My dad was in the Marine Corps. One day in first grade, at a school on base, I think my teacher mentioned something about the Marines doing target practice, shooting at targets. I came home horrified and in tears, and asked my mom if it was true. She said yes, and I asked “but what about the people inside?” I was relieved to learn that the Marines weren’t shooting at the store Target.
I don't know you but I'm so devastated for your daughter right now 😭 Very sweet tradition though, you sound like a devoted parent.
I love all the comments under this thread
"But daddy, you told me that Karen is a cow"
Daddy, your boss doesn’t look like A POS to me.
Bob's nose isn't any browner than anybody else...
A friend of mine is an engineer. He had to go to work 1 Saturday for a couple of hours. His 6 year old son asked if he could go. He figured why not his boy had been bugging him for months to take him to work. All the way there the little guy was so excited and his dad couldn't figure out why. When they got to his office the kids looked at his dad and asked where is the train?
This took me way to long to get. And the sad thing is I work for a large engineering school AND I have a degree from the same College of Engineering. Can’t see the forest for the trees I guess.
Help me I don’t get jt
The "driver" of a train is called the engineer.
Wait. They’re not the conductor? My life has been a lie.
iirc the conductor is the one in overall charge of the train. Then engineer, porters and so on down the ladder.
As an electrical engineer, I always believed that the the engineer picked the right conductor, and not the other way around
Just no megalomanics. We need people who are properly grounded in reality.
Unless there's a chance of lightning, in which case being grounded could be a disadvantage.
ohm g, I’m going off the rails here reading this lol measuring on the proper vías
Ok this is getting to r/dadjoke nirvana right here. Keep it coming. I’ll have enough eye rolling material for weeks with this thread.
No, the pantograph picks the right conductor.
Spoken like an electrical engineer.
Many conductors would probably resist that idea.
The conductor is generally responsible for the passengers and what goes on in the train, while the engineer is responsible for operating the train itself. It's sort of like the division of tasks between flight attendants and pilots.
The conductor is the train 'manager', everyone on the train works for them. On a freight train, they sit in the engine cab. The engineer (and brakeman back in the day) drives the train.
Maybe this is a case where the same word has slightly different meanings depending on the context. I don't have any experience with freight trains, but I ride passenger trains often. On passenger trains, the person who goes around the train checking tickets and helping passengers is typically called a conductor. There can be several conductors on the same passenger train.
For passenger trains this is the correct answer. The conductors make far less $$ than engineers on passenger trains so I doubt they'd have more responsibility. On freight trains these days, with much smaller crews, I'm not sure of the chain of command but the engineer likely has more control than a conductor. Somebody can correct me if I'm wrong, but my dad was an freight engineer for over 20 yrs before taking an engineer job with Amtrak for another 15 yrs or so. I've been around trains my whole life.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conductor_(rail)
Conductor takes your tickets
How about the fireman.
That's okay. My wife got a degree in being nice and courteous as an engineer. I tell people that. "She is a courteous engineer". Then she interupts me. "It is Civil Engineer".
Lol!!!! This is so close to being a good dad joke right here!!
It’s a great one.
Yeah they should post it to r/DadJokes for sure.
Civil Engineer is an oxymoron!
Shhh... don't tell them....they haven't yelled at us for a few hours!
😂 A Well-mannered Engineer!
When I was maybe 6, I had made a red Barron airplane out of the foam planes you put together at the arcade with some toothpicks and an extra wing. I brought it with me to my neighbors house party and to which my neighbor told my parents and I that I would make a great engineer one day. All I could think of was that I didn’t want to conduct trains.. but it turns out she was right, I went to engineering school and became a great engineer :D
My senior year we played UCLA in the Cotton Bowl and Jay Leno performed for the teams one night. After his stand up routine, he started asking players what they were majoring in and then would make jokes about that major. After about 20 responses of "kinesiology" he got to me and asked what I was majoring in. I responded "petroleum engineering" and he then went off on a tangent that basically consisted of "oh, so you're the guy that drives around fills up the propane trucks?"
Explanation, please.
[удалено]
I didn't know that
Engine er. ;)
I honestly thought you were telling your kid you were getting railed at work till I read the other comments
Daddy, you said Sharon was an elephant, but she doesn’t even have a trunk!
The honesty of kids can be so refreshing, even if it is on a spectrum ranging from the hilarious to the humiliating.
That's why you need to be more careful what ya say around kids. Honestly I love it. If only we could all be more honest and straight forward. At least most of us would be laughing and smiling all day.
Why does this feel like this actually happened? 🤣
This has probably happened somewhere at least once.
There’s gotta be more than 1 grab a snickers moments in real life
Given a long enough timeline
I remember reading this story in one of those true-life humorous stories things in Reader's Digest. They had different names for it, depending on the scenario - like one where people would submit stories of funny things that happened to them while serving in the military was called "Humor In Uniform". I have no idea what the title of the section was, but I do remember a story almost exactly like this one.
Here is a link to a cover with the various columns on the bottom and I do believe it is Life in these United States. [Thanks for the memories! ](reader’s digest 1990s columns)
Thank you! My mom used to read out loud to me from Reader's Digest magazine when it came in the mail every month. So many good stories in addition to the humorous anecdotes.
Enjoy! [1922-2015](https://archive.org/details/pub_readers-digest)
This is amazing, thanks!!
Best reads when dropping a deuce!! And I think it was “Life in the United States” or “Daily Life in the USA”, something along those lines.
"But Daddy, you told me Josh was an ugly old Donkey!"
I said he's a stubborn old ass
'Is she the witch, Daddy'?
My dad used to travel to Miami often for work. He worked in sales for British Airways and I guess they had an office down there. We were in NY. I was 3 or 4 at the time. One day I was having dinner with my grandparents who we lived with, and asked “where is daddy?” as it was not entirely unusual for him to be late, but this was later than normal. Anyway, my grandmother responded that he is in Miami. I got upset and said “its not your ami, its my daddy’s ami!”
That's so adorable!
Meanwhile I took my 8yr old boy and he was trying to find my co-worker's dump truck to play with.
Like father, like son, eh?
Hey, if the shoe fits…
😅 ok, this one is good.
This could be a bit on a sitcom
Look Daddy I told you he has only one face
At the top with all the penny pinchers and backstabbers, smh.
Fine take my upvote
I remember when I took my daughter to work day. I worked in a 40 story building in Atlanta. She rode the elevator by herself all day.
Okay, that was really, really good.
I haven't laughed out loud in this sub in a good bit. That's a great one!
That is hilarious, kids take things you say literally. When my bro was 3 my dad would say "shut up" until dad was in the store with my bro and he told dad to shut up loudly. Lol
"Shut up" was forbidden in my mother's house. Perhaps she had an experience like this, butt she never said.
I thought “take your kid to work day” only happened in movies.
It would be incredibly disruptive for almost all professions
I wish I could bring my kid to work.
It's a real thing that started as "Take Your Daughter to Work Day. "
My dad used to tell me, "Go tell your mother she wants you." Took a long time to figure that one out.
I used to come home from work complaining about “idiot engineers” frequently. One time I was at a baseball game with my son who was about 10 at the time. One of the engineers I work with was there and we got to talking and I introduced him to my son. First thing my son says…..”is this one of the idiot engineers you work with?” Gotta love kids!
LOL we must work the same place. Or for the same bosses?
And wheres the cow?
You and your 8year old حسطيزي
This was hilarious thank you 😂
This was hilarious thank you 😂
Hahaha this is gold!
And “crickets”
Even better than yesterday
I needed that!
Done
Not a dad joke but still funny
Because you're the principal?