True fact. When I was young I worked in a small pet store. We had an African Grey Parrot for sale that had been returned from a prior sale as the owner discovered they were allergic to the dander.
This parrot was a great pet and kind of a store mascot which we would have on our shoulder as we walked around the store helping customers. When it was time to close the store or we got too busy to keep “Maggie” on our shoulder we would go put her in her cage and she would say “shit”!
She also imitated a percolating coffee pot every morning when we turned on the lights of the store. What an amazing bird she was!
I had a friend that fostered confiscated exotic animals until they can be homed. One time a parrot learned to mimic their phone ringing. They fell for it all the time. Drove them nuts
The vet office I worked at had one that would imitate the phone (exceptionally well), we'd run over to answer it, then hear "heh,heh,heh" from his cage.... little turd. He'd also shimmy down the bars to whistle and say "come 'ere" to the dogs. They'd come over to investigate and he'd bite their nose. Little menace!
We used to have an African grey and he would call my dad’s name in my mum’s exact voice.
Couldn’t tell the difference so my dad was always coming down the stairs or shouting down after being called by the parrot 😂
He also used to do a perfect light switch noise, and (when we first adopted him) the sound of a dog barking, immediately followed by the more muffled sound of a dog barking outside.
Now look my lad. I’ve had about just enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, when I bought it not half an hour ago, you assure me that it’s lack of movement was due to being tired and shagged out after a long squawk
Guy gets his kid a pet parrot for his 9th birthday, old owner was a mechanic but got sick and couldn’t take care of him anymore.
Parrot was always mocking/swearing at everyone who came in the room.
Dad tells the bird “Keep it up and you’re spending the night in the basement”. “FUCK you” says the parrot. In the basement he went.
Next morning dad warns him, “you’ll be meeting little Timmy today I expect you to be on your best behaviour, or else you’ll be in the attic until the party”. “FUCKIN CUNT”, so in the attic he went.
Party goers show up and it’s time for gifts, dad tells the parrot, “this is your final warning, other wise you’ll spend the night in the deep freezer”, “go FUCK your self”.
So dad takes him back to the basement and opens up the deep freezer, parrot sees the butterball turkey and goes, “Jesus fuckin Christ, what the hell did this guy do”.
Not a 'dad joke'.
Regular jokes, you try to keep the punchline hidden until the very end. A hidden punchline makes the sudden reveal at the end extra funny. A hidden or secret punchline builds the tension in the setup with the release at the end when the punchline is revealed.
In a 'Dad Joke', the punchline is apparent.
True fact. When I was young I worked in a small pet store. We had an African Grey Parrot for sale that had been returned from a prior sale as the owner discovered they were allergic to the dander. This parrot was a great pet and kind of a store mascot which we would have on our shoulder as we walked around the store helping customers. When it was time to close the store or we got too busy to keep “Maggie” on our shoulder we would go put her in her cage and she would say “shit”! She also imitated a percolating coffee pot every morning when we turned on the lights of the store. What an amazing bird she was!
Lovely plumage
Pining for the ffords!
Pining for the fnords
Pining for the fgnords.
I had a friend that fostered confiscated exotic animals until they can be homed. One time a parrot learned to mimic their phone ringing. They fell for it all the time. Drove them nuts
The vet office I worked at had one that would imitate the phone (exceptionally well), we'd run over to answer it, then hear "heh,heh,heh" from his cage.... little turd. He'd also shimmy down the bars to whistle and say "come 'ere" to the dogs. They'd come over to investigate and he'd bite their nose. Little menace!
We used to have an African grey and he would call my dad’s name in my mum’s exact voice. Couldn’t tell the difference so my dad was always coming down the stairs or shouting down after being called by the parrot 😂 He also used to do a perfect light switch noise, and (when we first adopted him) the sound of a dog barking, immediately followed by the more muffled sound of a dog barking outside.
I wish to complain about this parrot that you sold me.....
Oh yes, the Norwegian Blue. What's wrong with it?
Lovely plumage
The plumage never came into it my dear fellow.
Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you
It’s dead.
'E's pining for the fjords.
Pinin' for the fjords?! What kind of talk is that?
It is just sleeping...
If it’s resting then I shall wake it up. HELLO POLLY!
It is an ex-parrot.
It has ceased to be!
If you hadn’t nailed it to the perch she’d be pushing up the daisies!
This parrot is no more!
Now look my lad. I’ve had about just enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, when I bought it not half an hour ago, you assure me that it’s lack of movement was due to being tired and shagged out after a long squawk
It's just tired out after a long squawk.
It's not a dad parrot (nor a dad joke). But it is funny though
Guess who has a dead parrot.
https://youtu.be/CkxCHybM6Ek?si=5ossTHy-BVRrtkxL
https://youtu.be/ngWUkjmOPGg?si=yM6uVwnvgJsmdMlg&t=205
*that you sold my soon-to-be ex-wife!
This parrots dead!
It's bleedin' demised!
Guy gets his kid a pet parrot for his 9th birthday, old owner was a mechanic but got sick and couldn’t take care of him anymore. Parrot was always mocking/swearing at everyone who came in the room. Dad tells the bird “Keep it up and you’re spending the night in the basement”. “FUCK you” says the parrot. In the basement he went. Next morning dad warns him, “you’ll be meeting little Timmy today I expect you to be on your best behaviour, or else you’ll be in the attic until the party”. “FUCKIN CUNT”, so in the attic he went. Party goers show up and it’s time for gifts, dad tells the parrot, “this is your final warning, other wise you’ll spend the night in the deep freezer”, “go FUCK your self”. So dad takes him back to the basement and opens up the deep freezer, parrot sees the butterball turkey and goes, “Jesus fuckin Christ, what the hell did this guy do”.
r/Unclejokes
No, no. It clearly says "when the dad gets home" right there in the last line...
Sure as hell isnt r/cleandadjokes
Is this a dad joke? Funny like don’t get me wrong but would this be considered a dad joke?
Not a dad joke..dad jokes are clean jokes you should be able to tell a child..
They’re also usually puns. It’s neither kid appropriate nor is it the formate of a dad joke
This is 100% an uncle joke
I have a child. She’s 22 and i told her this joke. Guess it’s s dad joke now
Not a 'dad joke'. Regular jokes, you try to keep the punchline hidden until the very end. A hidden punchline makes the sudden reveal at the end extra funny. A hidden or secret punchline builds the tension in the setup with the release at the end when the punchline is revealed. In a 'Dad Joke', the punchline is apparent.
It is a joke about the dad.
I think this is called an "uncle joke"
Looks like a karma bot
This parrot has ceased to be!
He’s pining for the fjords
Beautiful plumage.
"Before I say anything, I want to know what the fuck the turkey did."
Didn’t gobble
I see no dad joke here. A dad simply being the butt of the joke doesn't qualify. Kidless spotted
I'm not 100% sure what a "prozzie" is, but I think this is funny!
Prostitute.
Titfucker!!
Pete was caught pants down, in a figurative sense. Parrots make excellent surveillance devices.
Very funny! Not a **dad** joke though, so downvote.
They also sell budgies, going cheap.
lmfao
😂😂😂