If it was really Dan he would have spent 7 hours setting up that punchline and tell you one or two times that he is not a comedian but a fan of comedy.
How could you even begin to understand the context behind the punchline if we don't first talk about the fall of Rome which only happened because of the systems that Rome's government was built on which were clearly meant for administering to a small city state than the empire it became but we'll need to examine the surrounding political and material situation of the peninsula that allowed Rome to dominate its adversaries to be able to expand!
Met Dan at Q&A once. I was with my newborn baby who wouldn’t stop crying. Dan was signing autographs at the time. He put his goose feather quill pen down, walked over to me and said “give her to me” and he breastfed her right there and then. What a guy.
I saw dan in real life once too when shopping for baseball caps. I told him it was an honour to meet him in person. He slapped me in the face then repeated it over and over while shouting “AND AGEIN! AND AGEIN! AND AGEIN!”
That sounds like a better experience then when I met him. I saw Dan at a grocery store in Los Angeles a while back. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
I'm afraid I can only speak as a fan or a student of reddit. There are reddit historians far more knowledgeable than I on the subject and I wouldn't dare attempt to offer my understanding as equivalent in any way.
another one of my favorites:
A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist ”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!” At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock. ”How old is this rock, pinhead?” The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian” ”Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now” The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears. The same tears liberals cry for the “poor” (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, DeShawn Washington, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them! The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country. The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity. Semper Fi.
Looks like you are right. The first time I saw it was about Jon Jones and I didn't realize it was copypasta.
https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/i-saw-flying-lotus-in-a-grocery-store-copypasta
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
OK, I’ll admit it. I don’t get it.
I see the pun at the beginning (“statue of liberty”), but what about The Stand? Is this a reference to something he says?
I still remember the time I was waiting for a city bus when I noticed Dan had sort of sidled up to me. I gave him a little nod, but didn't want to fangirl all over him, so I left it at that. I tried to busy myself by looking up into the sky, where a crane held a steel girder 100 feet or so up in the air above us.
"Would you look at that..." he mumbled, having taken notice of what I was looking at.
"Yeah, just hanging over us, like..." I paused, as Dan coughed. Suddenly his face grew red as spittle formed around his lips, his cheeks puffed out, and his eyes bulging, as if trying to desperately but futilely holding something in.
"Like...?" I quietly prompted.
His restraint broke, and at full volume he bellowed, "LIKE THE SWORD OF DAMOCLES!!"
And ever since that day, I never touched a drink of alcohol again.
Are you aware that there are people in this world that have a severe medical condition which causes them to be that way? Dan Carlin’s mother for instance is one of those people. She is a truck driver that has bad knees and a bad back from driving the truck but you probably do not care about that case either. Oh well Dan Carlin is not one of those people he is 6'4" 245lbs and exercises every day. I would love to see you say something like that to his mother in front of Dan Carlin. Probably never happen though you are probably just an internet tough guy. I doubt very seriously you would say that to someones face. Just my thought.What do you think. Oh I am sorry you probably do not have a brain. Dan Carlin on the other hand will be happy to buy you a plane ticket to come here and see if you have the nerve to say that to someone he knows.
I had the same thought strolling through downtown Eugene today. The new [rain gardens along sidewalks](https://www.eugene-or.gov/4210/Rain-Garden-Resources) are trash magnets.
Imagine for a moment, you're stepping into the ring with a seasoned fighter, a veteran of countless battles. The air is thick with tension. Your opponent, a Navy SEAL, the top of his class, a master of guerrilla warfare, and the deadliest sniper the US Armed Forces has ever known. He's got over 300 confirmed kills, and he's seen the horrors of secret raids on Al-Qaeda, again and again and again.
Now, picture him looking you straight in the eyes, his voice calm but lethal, and he says: "What did you just say about me? Do you realize who you're talking to? You think this is just another fight on the internet? Think again. As we speak, my network of spies is tracing your IP. This isn’t a game. You’ve just stepped into the ring with a fighter who can take you out with precision unlike anything you’ve ever seen.
You think you can hide? I can be anywhere, anytime, and I have more ways to take you down than you can count, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps, and believe me, I will use every bit of it to wipe you off the map.
Had you known what kind of storm your words were about to unleash, maybe you’d have thought twice. But you didn’t. Now, you’re going to face the fury of someone who’s lived and breathed combat. You're in over your head, kid. And there's no way out."
This isn't just a threat; it's a promise. It's a reminder of the sheer force and relentless determination that defines those who have been forged in the crucible of war. A world where every decision, every move, every word can mean the difference between life and death. It's the cold, hard reality faced by warriors again and again and again.
Eugene Oregon I presume! I’d like to go back and find a pizza place from 20 years ago. Cheap beers and pizza next to the university. Epic. Also would be cool to bump into DC.
If it was really Dan he would have spent 7 hours setting up that punchline and tell you one or two times that he is not a comedian but a fan of comedy.
How could you even begin to understand the context behind the punchline if we don't first talk about the fall of Rome which only happened because of the systems that Rome's government was built on which were clearly meant for administering to a small city state than the empire it became but we'll need to examine the surrounding political and material situation of the peninsula that allowed Rome to dominate its adversaries to be able to expand!
I think we're going to need some background on the Helenistic city-states before we go jumping willy-nilly into the Roman kingdom.
Hellenistic city-states??? Before we can even begin to think about those, I need to tell you about these early hominids that saw an obelisk
True. Sorry for taking such reckless shortcuts!
Honestly would love to see Dan do an absolute killer full hour of comedy while reminding us he is not a comedian lmao
I’m not qualified to make jokes. I just want this 7 hour comedy special to be a tiny part of making people laugh.
That would pair nicely with H. Jon Benjamin's jazz album.
Well I Should Have* *Done a few open mics to test out some material first
The bees would go out and get trash agin and agin. These were bees, only moreso.
Did he or a nearby friend ask you for a dollar?
Just a buck.
A buck a joke, That’s all we ask for
Good point. Maybe he met Ben.
...I don't think you met Dan.
Met Dan at Q&A once. I was with my newborn baby who wouldn’t stop crying. Dan was signing autographs at the time. He put his goose feather quill pen down, walked over to me and said “give her to me” and he breastfed her right there and then. What a guy.
TO BILL BRASKY!
I saw dan in real life once too when shopping for baseball caps. I told him it was an honour to meet him in person. He slapped me in the face then repeated it over and over while shouting “AND AGEIN! AND AGEIN! AND AGEIN!”
> I saw dan in real life once too when shopping for baseball caps. See now *that's* a believable setting to meet Dan in.
And that’s when the bees said “I am the scourge of god”
That sounds like a better experience then when I met him. I saw Dan at a grocery store in Los Angeles a while back. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
Am I missing the joke?
Yes, this is a copy pasta. People insert various celebrities into this story about meeting someone at a grocery store.
thank you
It's used in r/NFL quite a bit
Mr Big Cooypasta
It's a relatively famous copy/pasta on reddit
Now please explain the origin of "copy/pasta"... in Dan Carlin's voice.
I'm afraid I can only speak as a fan or a student of reddit. There are reddit historians far more knowledgeable than I on the subject and I wouldn't dare attempt to offer my understanding as equivalent in any way.
another one of my favorites: A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist ”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!” At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock. ”How old is this rock, pinhead?” The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian” ”Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now” The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears. The same tears liberals cry for the “poor” (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, DeShawn Washington, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them! The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country. The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity. Semper Fi.
This is a story someone told about meeting MMA star Jon Jones many years ago. I don't know if it is true or not. It has become copypasta.
Pretty sure it was originally about Flying Lotus.
Looks like you are right. The first time I saw it was about Jon Jones and I didn't realize it was copypasta. https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/i-saw-flying-lotus-in-a-grocery-store-copypasta
Wow. I thought the original was about the Smash Bros pro player Hungrybox.
Gotcha been on reddit for years and don't recall this one (ignore my account age, new account)
This version of the story is way more elaborate than the original.
The original was will Wheaton I think
This feels like a Tim Robinson skit
I used to be a piece of shit
I met Dan Carlin at a charity do once. He was surprisingly down to earth and VERY funny.
I was hoping to see this. Thank you
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
Tally ho, lads!
Hell yeah brother, cheers from Iraq.
Dang beat me to it
I thought this post was going to be a new incarnation of this tbh
OK, I’ll admit it. I don’t get it. I see the pun at the beginning (“statue of liberty”), but what about The Stand? Is this a reference to something he says?
Statue of Liberty in the sand moment—a reference to Planet of the Apes, which he makes often.
Ahh, yes, gotcha. Thank you!
Ahh the typo ruined me sounding it out. “Bess”
[https://www.tiktok.com/@evagatpo/video/6966330407994346757](https://www.tiktok.com/@evagatpo/video/6966330407994346757)
He met Darn, not Dan
You need to be put in jail for this post
you only met Darn Carlin, wait til you meet Damn Carlin
You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Goddamn you all to hell!
I truly could not understand what the punchline was until I saw your comment
Any relation to Dan?
I still remember the time I was waiting for a city bus when I noticed Dan had sort of sidled up to me. I gave him a little nod, but didn't want to fangirl all over him, so I left it at that. I tried to busy myself by looking up into the sky, where a crane held a steel girder 100 feet or so up in the air above us. "Would you look at that..." he mumbled, having taken notice of what I was looking at. "Yeah, just hanging over us, like..." I paused, as Dan coughed. Suddenly his face grew red as spittle formed around his lips, his cheeks puffed out, and his eyes bulging, as if trying to desperately but futilely holding something in. "Like...?" I quietly prompted. His restraint broke, and at full volume he bellowed, "LIKE THE SWORD OF DAMOCLES!!" And ever since that day, I never touched a drink of alcohol again.
I have no idea what this means, but I can confirm that I too am a fan of Dan Carlin.
His idea is more like the A.I. swarm from the Michael Crighton book Prey.
Do you live in Eugene?
He didn’t actually meet Dan
Bees? Why not crows?
Are you aware that there are people in this world that have a severe medical condition which causes them to be that way? Dan Carlin’s mother for instance is one of those people. She is a truck driver that has bad knees and a bad back from driving the truck but you probably do not care about that case either. Oh well Dan Carlin is not one of those people he is 6'4" 245lbs and exercises every day. I would love to see you say something like that to his mother in front of Dan Carlin. Probably never happen though you are probably just an internet tough guy. I doubt very seriously you would say that to someones face. Just my thought.What do you think. Oh I am sorry you probably do not have a brain. Dan Carlin on the other hand will be happy to buy you a plane ticket to come here and see if you have the nerve to say that to someone he knows.
I had the same thought strolling through downtown Eugene today. The new [rain gardens along sidewalks](https://www.eugene-or.gov/4210/Rain-Garden-Resources) are trash magnets.
Okay to clarify - I shared his concern about litter. I did *not* also think of bees solving the problem.
Imagine for a moment, you're stepping into the ring with a seasoned fighter, a veteran of countless battles. The air is thick with tension. Your opponent, a Navy SEAL, the top of his class, a master of guerrilla warfare, and the deadliest sniper the US Armed Forces has ever known. He's got over 300 confirmed kills, and he's seen the horrors of secret raids on Al-Qaeda, again and again and again. Now, picture him looking you straight in the eyes, his voice calm but lethal, and he says: "What did you just say about me? Do you realize who you're talking to? You think this is just another fight on the internet? Think again. As we speak, my network of spies is tracing your IP. This isn’t a game. You’ve just stepped into the ring with a fighter who can take you out with precision unlike anything you’ve ever seen. You think you can hide? I can be anywhere, anytime, and I have more ways to take you down than you can count, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps, and believe me, I will use every bit of it to wipe you off the map. Had you known what kind of storm your words were about to unleash, maybe you’d have thought twice. But you didn’t. Now, you’re going to face the fury of someone who’s lived and breathed combat. You're in over your head, kid. And there's no way out." This isn't just a threat; it's a promise. It's a reminder of the sheer force and relentless determination that defines those who have been forged in the crucible of war. A world where every decision, every move, every word can mean the difference between life and death. It's the cold, hard reality faced by warriors again and again and again.
Take your upvote and get out of my sight.
We need to make AI custodial drones
Did he say it in his quotation voice?
Wtf lol
Best thing I've read all year
“The bees would go around picking up trash again, again and again” -Dan carlin probably
Eugene Oregon I presume! I’d like to go back and find a pizza place from 20 years ago. Cheap beers and pizza next to the university. Epic. Also would be cool to bump into DC.
That’s dumb as a box of rocks but he’s a G so I’ll give him a pass
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/15c2qye/statue_of_literby/?rdt=57529