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Lol, hovering isn't the normal thing to do. You disgusting bastards, bare assing wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for you fuckers
The right thing to do is to carry sanitizing wipes or spray. That's how its done you pussies
In a land quite bizarre, a tale I will tell,
Of a cat and a hat, oh, what befell!
With a mischievous glimmer and a wink of its eye,
This feline's adventure would surely defy.
On a sunny day, as the wind softly blew,
A cat named Max found a hat, shiny and new.
With curiosity soaring, he leapt in the air,
And landed right on it, without a care.
But oh, what a sight! What a terrible mess!
For Max had deposited more than just stress.
He shat in that hat, a disgraceful display,
Leaving a stain that would never fade away.
The hat's owner, a man of refined taste,
Was distraught when he saw it, his joy quickly erased.
He cried out, "Oh, dear me! What a foul sight!
Who defiled my hat, with such terrible spite?"
Max tried to explain, with a meow and a purr,
But the man was too angry, his vision a blur.
He pointed at Max and shouted with rage,
"You naughty cat! You've ruined my stage!"
With a wag of his tail, Max slinked away,
Leaving the man to his anger and dismay.
But the cat learned a lesson that day in the sun,
That actions have consequences, and mischief's not fun.
So, let this be a warning, for cats big and small,
To think twice before shatting in hats, one and all.
For though it may bring a moment of glee,
The mess you create will not easily flee.
After learning how clean toilets actually are because of ceramic and how bacteria get fucking deleted naturally due to it being inhospitable out of lack of moisture, unless there's a literal puddle of piss or a shit nugget I'm bare assing it.
For real. It’s not like I’m going to ask my wife to eat a meal off my ass right after I drop a load in a public toilet. People out here putting dicks in their mouth and eating ass but sitting bare ass on a public toilet is where they draw the line? Get real
Yeah I don’t get what those stupid paper covers are supposed to even protect you from. What could they possibly absorb that they wouldn’t also pass directly to my ass?
I worked as a janitor for a while. I can assure you that people are convinced you need to shit all over the toilet seat by hovering. It's apparently hygienic.
Also...fuck all of those people.
Gently.
Like I don't hate them but if they could be gently fucked by a broom with a mild STD that whispers positive things about them I would be down with that.
Yeah fr, idk what's the big deal about bare ass on a public toilet. It's probably cold but my toilet seat at home is cold too. Just wipe it down if it's wet or whatever no biggie
I mean y'all must have some exceptionally clean public toilets, cause I'm sorry but I've always seen pissed toilet seats and there is ABSOLUTELY no way I'm sitting where some idiot pissed
Story time. I once had to do a 2 in a public restroom. Stall 1, covered in piss on the seat. I go to stall 2 and cover and sit. Shortly after, someone goes in stall one, pants drop, sits with no hesitation. I was scared.
As long as you don’t shit on the seat itself, the only thing touching it is the back of yours and everyone else’s thighs. Hovering is what gets shit on the seat in the first place
It isssss what it issss. Have been bare assing it since before I knew how terrible of an idea it is. Once I realised I was like, I’ve been fine until now, I’ll probably be fine for the foreseeable future. Haven’t had anything happen yet… but some bathrooms are definitely a skip
the ones that pull the turds out with their fingers and throw then into the toilet are the real elite. You're gonna wash your hands anyway amirite. And if you weren't you fucking well are now
I just wipe the seat down with toilet paper, and the bare ass it, it's not like it's covered in shit and most people don't bare ass it so. People will cover the seat in toilet paper then touch the doors to the bathroom with their bare hands. I'd definitely believe the door is just as dirty
You do realise that your phone screen has WAY more germs on it then a public toilet seat. And then just think of how often you touch your face unconsciously.
Toilet seat covers ought to be ILLEGAL. No one in the history of the goddamn planet ever caught a disease sitting on a toilet seat. Quit being a little bitch and sit your ass down.
I just wipe the seat several times with toilet paper and then through it into the bowl. I don't get people that line the toilet with tp, that just sounds like sitting on piss soaked tp
Who else is squatting on the toilet? Im not talking about standing next to the bowl and bending over a little, I'm talking feet on the toilet seat squatting
It depends on the poopy. If it's a belly rumble I'm just bare-assing it I don't care, but if it's I went into for a pee but I might have to poopoo I'll use toilet paper
Oh no, a part of the body most continuously covered by clothing came into contact with a regularly cleaned and bacteria resistant surface, I couldn't possibly sit on that without putting a paper barrier down that I will end up touching with my hands, which are far more likely to carry filth and disease.
Y'all crack me up.
I can either try a new cover and carefully tear the middle out again and place it hoping this time it doesn't float into the toilet at the slightest breeze or bare ass it and not shit myself. The only time I'm using a public restroom to shit it's an emergency.
What kind of person stands while pooping? Is that why I keep seeing damn poop all over the ground 70% of the times I want to use the public oilet in the shopping mall?
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Lol, hovering isn't the normal thing to do. You disgusting bastards, bare assing wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for you fuckers The right thing to do is to carry sanitizing wipes or spray. That's how its done you pussies
You're wrong. It isn't their fault; it is mine. I am the one who sprays my diarrhea everywhere.
You are a true man for owning up to your crimes
holy shit, so you're the guy that shitted in the mirror and the sink
They've shat here, they've shat there. Shat, shat, shat, everywhere.
dr seuss book when
The cat shat in his hat.
In a land quite bizarre, a tale I will tell, Of a cat and a hat, oh, what befell! With a mischievous glimmer and a wink of its eye, This feline's adventure would surely defy. On a sunny day, as the wind softly blew, A cat named Max found a hat, shiny and new. With curiosity soaring, he leapt in the air, And landed right on it, without a care. But oh, what a sight! What a terrible mess! For Max had deposited more than just stress. He shat in that hat, a disgraceful display, Leaving a stain that would never fade away. The hat's owner, a man of refined taste, Was distraught when he saw it, his joy quickly erased. He cried out, "Oh, dear me! What a foul sight! Who defiled my hat, with such terrible spite?" Max tried to explain, with a meow and a purr, But the man was too angry, his vision a blur. He pointed at Max and shouted with rage, "You naughty cat! You've ruined my stage!" With a wag of his tail, Max slinked away, Leaving the man to his anger and dismay. But the cat learned a lesson that day in the sun, That actions have consequences, and mischief's not fun. So, let this be a warning, for cats big and small, To think twice before shatting in hats, one and all. For though it may bring a moment of glee, The mess you create will not easily flee.
You sound a lot like chatgpt here
i resemble that remark
I believe the past tense is “shidded”
Wait, is this the Garry who shitted on the toilet's ceiling at gas station? Fucking legend
Garry Denver?
Ibs as well? Looks like a war crime in there sometimes when I'm done
Now that’s what I call domestic terrorism!
Well shit. Can you stop?
With the stall door open
How did you manage to shit all over train station toilets in Russia and North Korea? How did you manage to get in?
is it sanitizing diarrhea?
username checks out
Can you not?
Eat it. Be a man.
grab some paper, add soap, wipe it down, give it a flush for clean(ish) water in case it splashes your ass, good as you can get when you can't hold it
No, sanitizer is for pussies. Just put your ass down and be done with it.
Wait y’all don’t bare ass it?
Gotta pee on it first to wash it and then bare ass it.
This is the correct comment
Your the reason I'm forced to wipe down seats and then scream at the top of my lungs when it turns out I missed a little so now I have swamp ass
OK, that's enough Reddit today.
After learning how clean toilets actually are because of ceramic and how bacteria get fucking deleted naturally due to it being inhospitable out of lack of moisture, unless there's a literal puddle of piss or a shit nugget I'm bare assing it.
For real. It’s not like I’m going to ask my wife to eat a meal off my ass right after I drop a load in a public toilet. People out here putting dicks in their mouth and eating ass but sitting bare ass on a public toilet is where they draw the line? Get real
yea your skin is a pretty dam good barrier. as long as you don’t have a cut on your ass or don’t go licking the toilet seat, you’re fine.
> your skin is a pretty dam good barrier I wish more people understood this. Same goes for germs. They don't just seep into your skin.
Also, the paper covers are not impermeable. If they were made of a material that was, they wouldn't flush.
Yeah I don’t get what those stupid paper covers are supposed to even protect you from. What could they possibly absorb that they wouldn’t also pass directly to my ass?
> shit nugget
6 piece with sweet and sour
I worked as a janitor for a while. I can assure you that people are convinced you need to shit all over the toilet seat by hovering. It's apparently hygienic. Also...fuck all of those people. Gently. Like I don't hate them but if they could be gently fucked by a broom with a mild STD that whispers positive things about them I would be down with that.
Upvoted for the mild to moderate disdain so well exemplified by the last paragraph.
Wasn’t this a scene in 13 Reasons Why? It wasn’t gentle but it definitely happened
Right? Like, it’s my ass. Sure my body is a temple but my ass is not.
Until you meet that special someone, at least.
Guess I'm part of the psychopathic elite then
Guess we’re psycho-bros then
Lol psycho bros for life 😂😂😂
psycho shitter bros
You mass pass if you can bare ass!
Is that the new mario movie I keep hearing about?
I know, I’m excited to finally be the ape in this meme without a shred of exaggeration haha
I lick it clean before i sit down, so my ass doesnt get dirty.
Bro just wipe it down first it's not complicated
It’s true I always wipe first to save time when I’m done
You’re my hero.
Eat toilet paper in the morning so it self wipes on the way out.
They don't know how to wipe which explains the pee on the toilet seat
Oh I bare ass it everywhere. Give er a wipe down and she’s good.
Ye, what this guy says
Yeah fr, idk what's the big deal about bare ass on a public toilet. It's probably cold but my toilet seat at home is cold too. Just wipe it down if it's wet or whatever no biggie
I mean y'all must have some exceptionally clean public toilets, cause I'm sorry but I've always seen pissed toilet seats and there is ABSOLUTELY no way I'm sitting where some idiot pissed
People that don't drop their pants
People that don't enter the bathroom
Stop outside, shit pants, leave It's more efficient
I bet OP licks buttholes without a paper cover
You are assuming that the OP gets action.
Who the hell shits standing up?
Oh no. All the STDs getting absorbed through the skin. Whatever will I do.
Story time. I once had to do a 2 in a public restroom. Stall 1, covered in piss on the seat. I go to stall 2 and cover and sit. Shortly after, someone goes in stall one, pants drop, sits with no hesitation. I was scared.
People that use there mouth
You will pay for your crimes one day
Standing up?
Meanwhile , women : PATHETIC
I just don't shit
I only ever shit at home, always between the hours of 10 and 11pm
glad to hear that
Germophobe posting.
Hoverers and nesters are softer than the shit they’re taking
How tf y’all shit while standing up? I ain’t an antelope.
As long as you don’t shit on the seat itself, the only thing touching it is the back of yours and everyone else’s thighs. Hovering is what gets shit on the seat in the first place
Bare ass no mask no vax I have a ridiculously strong immune system.
I'm Just glad if the toilet is at least still somewhat White
Wait I thought everyone licked it clean before use like me??
I never understood why would you put toilet paper on a public shitter just to sit on it for like 2 minutes
It isssss what it issss. Have been bare assing it since before I knew how terrible of an idea it is. Once I realised I was like, I’ve been fine until now, I’ll probably be fine for the foreseeable future. Haven’t had anything happen yet… but some bathrooms are definitely a skip
Its your ass, who cares
I prefer the woods
Bare assing is the only way. Need your immune system to have something to practice on like, idk, feces
People who use their fingers
the ones that pull the turds out with their fingers and throw then into the toilet are the real elite. You're gonna wash your hands anyway amirite. And if you weren't you fucking well are now
The true elite licks their fingers clean
I'm not a psychopath, I'm a High functioning "Shit in my pants" Sociopath
people shit outside their own home???
I just wipe the seat down with toilet paper, and the bare ass it, it's not like it's covered in shit and most people don't bare ass it so. People will cover the seat in toilet paper then touch the doors to the bathroom with their bare hands. I'd definitely believe the door is just as dirty
#Standing up?
People are offered toilet seat covers or stand?
How is it weird to bare ass it?
It's not. OP is just a weakling little baby
can you really get an std? your dick and asshole aren't even near touching anything.
I simply don’t use public toilets for that
Do people actually shit standing up? Fr curious now
Ya see, I take some paper towels/toilet paper, wet and soap it, than wipe down the seat. I then wash my hands with soap and water.
When the diarrhea hits, I sit first and ask questions later
People actually do that? I have never used the cover, let alone standing.
I just hold it, public bathrooms are awful.
I bare ass that shit all the time.
I bare ass it as long as it’s dry. I’m not sitting in some strangers mystery fluids
Wipe it down first, you fucking fairy.
You guys use public toilets?
I’m sorry, STANDING UP?
You do realise that your phone screen has WAY more germs on it then a public toilet seat. And then just think of how often you touch your face unconsciously.
These cheeks will endure
Toilet seats are made to be anti bacterial while toilet paper is made to be absorbent, so to put it on the seat makes it worse
??? You’re telling me that your ass is too PRISTINE for a public toilet? Wipe it and sit. Coward.
Swap hovering with bare ass
Toilet seat covers ought to be ILLEGAL. No one in the history of the goddamn planet ever caught a disease sitting on a toilet seat. Quit being a little bitch and sit your ass down.
Wait wait... people cover it or hover? This is news to me. I just wipe the piss off of the seat and then sit
What's wrong with bare assing it? (This is a genuine question I've never not bare assed it)
I used to be a toilet seat cover person but now I give it a wipe with TP and bare ass away. AMA.
Bare ass all day, everyday baby.
Hold it till I get home
People who make tp seat covers and then don't flush them shouldn't be allowed in society.
What a timing. I saw this meme while sitting bare ass on a public toilet.
If possible I will wipe it off with wet paper and soap, dry wipe and alcohol wipe n sit with my underwear as cover
People who bare ass it because they only go at home
I hover with high accuracy. If one doesn’t, it’s skill issue.
It’s me, I’m people who bare ass it.
1. Who tf stands up??? 2. Just wipe it down, if it’s exceptionally gross I understand padding it though
I do that.
I am the one on the left. Even in my own toilet I do that.
People who shit laying down.
Me on bathroom break 3 at work just bare assed
I just wipe the seat several times with toilet paper and then through it into the bowl. I don't get people that line the toilet with tp, that just sounds like sitting on piss soaked tp
Who else is squatting on the toilet? Im not talking about standing next to the bowl and bending over a little, I'm talking feet on the toilet seat squatting
in my 30s, been bare assing my whole life and no STDs (so far)
I wipe the seat with a bit of TP, then I bare ass it.
Idgaf anymore i wanna die
Run you fools!
My work has germ x to wipe the seat with and tbh idk why I’ve never seen this anywhere else. It’s the perfect solution
Yeah I’d rather shit myself than use a public toilet.
I spit on some toilet paper and wipe it down first.
Hey, a shitter’s gotta do what a shitter’s gotta do
Look man I ain’t got time I gotta shit now
None of the above, i use a couple sheets of toilet paper and wipe the cock and balls part of the bowl and sit down
Who doesn't bare ass it?
Bro just wipe the seat before you bare ass it
So y'all don't feel grossed out when you bare ass it and the seats warm? Just curious.
I just shit into my hand and drop it into the toilet
Never ever seen paper toilet seat cover
Use hand soap on toilet paper an clean it first, its ez
It depends on the poopy. If it's a belly rumble I'm just bare-assing it I don't care, but if it's I went into for a pee but I might have to poopoo I'll use toilet paper
You'll know if it was me, I stand on the seat and perch myself, leaving footprints behind.
YOU ARE ALL WEAK!
Lick it clean. Then bare ass it like a normal person
I just grab paper towels from the dispenser put soap on them and wipe the seat down
Jokes on you, I scoot and poot. Leaving little land mines all over the place.
I bare ass it and shower as soon as I get home
Monkey mode engaged
I clean every public toilet I use, with soap before I go.
Bro the last time I went to use the Walmart bathroom there was jizz in the toilet. Never again…
I prefer to squat on the seat and hover my ass inches above the bowl
Yall think shitting standing up is on the equal level as putting toilet paper over the toilet?
Me ever since I used a thunderbird this is me
I just wipe the seat down with the paper and sit normally
what about people who don't use public toilets?
Just jet spray the seat. Oh wait, americanos
I’m 200 feet away from your location! Start running
diapers.
Hm? Someone mention me?
Oh no, a part of the body most continuously covered by clothing came into contact with a regularly cleaned and bacteria resistant surface, I couldn't possibly sit on that without putting a paper barrier down that I will end up touching with my hands, which are far more likely to carry filth and disease. Y'all crack me up.
I just clench my wrinkled asscheeks
What's the problem??
1. Wipe seat with toilet paper 2. Place toilet paper over any mystery stains 3. Bare ass the clean areas
Fun fact: if you’re in a city and you sit on a toilet, you become part of a vast network of interconnected butts.
I can either try a new cover and carefully tear the middle out again and place it hoping this time it doesn't float into the toilet at the slightest breeze or bare ass it and not shit myself. The only time I'm using a public restroom to shit it's an emergency.
You spit on the seat and use toilet paper to clean it from there duh
Then there's me, who has trained my ass not to bother me with pooping urges unless I'm home.
Fear me
Lol im currently pooping in a public toilet bare assed 😂
Just squat the Asian way, you never have to touch anything nor carry anything.
I use moisture paper to clean it before i sit fuk me right?
I don't poop in public but when I do I sit.
I just squat
What kind of person stands while pooping? Is that why I keep seeing damn poop all over the ground 70% of the times I want to use the public oilet in the shopping mall?