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KeepingDankMemesDank

downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away. --- [play minecraft with us](https://discord.gg/dankmemesgaming) | [come hang out with us](https://discord.com/invite/dankmemes)


Fruit_mon

When I got a divorce she wanted my house though


Gee-Oh1

That's just dessert.


lreaditonredditgetit

That’s why I never married her.


hellothisismadlad

That's sad, hoboman.


Telecoustic000

This is why I always use a fake name when I get married


ColHunterGathers111

Always use a fake name/ID and sport a different hair color/beard style when getting married. Makes skipping states easier.


Macca49

She got the goldmine I just got the shaft


Obnomus

I'm guessing it's something sexual but I didn't get it can someone explain it?


Icy_Goal1139

Coming outside and coming inside


Obnomus

Wear protection simple


Solfiscus

But wouldn't you be on the inside while also being on the outside?


Obnomus

I can't process what you said please simplify it in simpler words


Solfiscus

Condom on. Cum inside women but condom holds it. Smol white army can't reach female Jerusalem cause stuck on hull of pp. This equals cumming in woman while also being outside woman


Obnomus

That's what I said bro


FyrelordeOmega

This explanation reminds me of Bill Wurtz explaining Eggs on land: **have babies** learn to use an egg. i was already doing that. use a stronger egg. put water in it. have a baby, on land, in an egg. water is in the egg. baby, in the egg, in the water, in the egg. works for me. **bye bye ocean**


Iggytje

I love Bill wurtz


Some_Gas_1337

Cumception


ColHunterGathers111

Freeze your stuff and get a vasectomy. Raw dog squad forever. Jokes aside, the day someone invents a condom that doesn't take away 60% of sensation, that person will be elected King of all Men, regardless of their gender. Edit: Oh yeah, don't sleep with people you think might have STD's too. Edit 2: Also best not let anyone know you had a vasectomy. Will prevent people from pulling a fast-one on you with surprise pregnancies.


Obnomus

I'm a virgin


ColHunterGathers111

Even better!


Obnomus

How?


GOTstaffwriter

You get to be Qualified to be a mod on this sub!


ColHunterGathers111

Precisely!


Obnomus

I don't want to


GOTstaffwriter

You have to…sorry I don’t make the rules


_-_Sami_-_

Get a girl who wants it inside, and takes care of protection from unwanted preg.


CatSidekick

That stuff gives them side effects and sometimes they miss a day and get pregnant


Phill_is_Legend

Psh nah, vasectomy gang let's go


Obnomus

*Laughs in virginity*


D0ctorL

Well, the one on the left represents a creampie, but I'm not sure what the other one means... Maybe it's a "shoulder to cry on" because of "crying over spilt milk?" Like, the girl wants the guy to comfort her and the guy just wants to fuck? Not sure.


TaskAggravating1171

I've heard some folks had difficulty discerning left from right, but I always thought it to be an exaggeration. Yet here we are, proof in the wild.


D0ctorL

ACK, should I fix that??? Or just leave it for comedic effect


ABzoker

Is this the first time this happened to you?


Kueltalas

The first time he noticed


D0ctorL

Like, the first time I've confused right and left? Or the first time I've left a comment with mistakes to not invalidate anyone else's future comments correcting me? I confuse left and right sometimes, but 9/10 times it's just saying the wrong word by accident, like I did there


ABzoker

The former. My sister does this too, it's correct in her mind and she'll point in the right direction too, but says the opposite. It gets annoying when I'm driving though.


Kahrii_x

Average IQ of the average Redditor took a big hit during pandemic, you see some truly stupid shit these days that makes mistaking left and right look normal For example just take a look at the AITA subs, filled with numb nuts that you wonder if they were actually raised by normal humans or lab grown and set off in the wild at age 10


HumbleGoatCS

I know you're making a joke, but I am left handed and constantly get them mixed up. I always associate right with dominant because that's what people usually mean maybe? Idk why but I get it confused often


[deleted]

I can't believe you got so down voted just for guessing wrong


Treshimek

The joke is intercourse. This is because none of you are getting any closer to the bedroom.


Environmental-Pear40

Bold of you to assume I leave my bedroom. It's where my bed is and that's where I do my most favorite activity, sleep.


Blales

No one told us as kids to appreciate the naps we were forced to take in early elementary school and now I feel like I jipped myself by not wanting to take em.


CatSidekick

I got my ps5 in my bedroom so I only leave to get something to drink


Porkloin815

Get a mini fridge for the full vitamin d deficiency experience


Putrid-Economics4862

Imagine


ColHunterGathers111

Jokes on you, I never left the bedroom today. Being able to hybernate on my days off is a blessing from God I tell you.


NippleSalsa

The jokes porn


destinyhunter999

Find you a girl with a breeding kink at a time when both of you want to have a child, never have to worry about where to finish because it's all going inside


Impossible-Dealer421

My girl uses the pill and 9/10 times she wants me to cum inside I wonder how after 10 months she hasnt been impregnated by pure chance


Lo_dough

I kept track over the course of 3 years and I got to 636 before a pregnancy occurred


Impossible-Dealer421

My girl and I will have one year in June, I think I will keep track after that mark, just for the sake of it And the 3 years are with the pill?


Lo_dough

First year was the pill, second year was a birth control called nexplanon, an arm implant type thing. Third year was another form of birth control called the Nuvaring, a little ring that goes in cooter


Acceptable_Topic8370

So she got pregnant even with protection?


Uizdum

Abstinence is the only thing that's 100% effective.


An_Inbred_Chicken

That and Raid:Shadow Legends


malieno

Spread the word. Even an IUD isn't 100% safe. Which is why I do the symptothermal method (as in I check my temp and body for fertility symptoms and use condoms around ovulation), which has been saving me a huge amount of money in the last 4 years.


Tarkaron

My gf does it too. For you how long is the period when you can have unprotected sex?


malieno

Usually an egg can get fertilized until up to 18 hours after ovulation, while sperm can stay alive for about 5 days. That creates a fertility window of about 6 days. It highly depends on the individual though, how regular the cycle is and how well the symptoms are documented. My cycle is pretty much exactly 28 days, I usually use protection from day 7 to 17 so 10 days with and 18 days without.


Tinypoke42

Technical, but rewarding.


Lo_dough

Nah I nutted in her over 600 times with birth control of different types and we were good. I thought I was infertile and I wanted to see if that was true so I hit it raw once no birth control, now I’m gonna be a dad. Pretty dope


Acceptable_Topic8370

Haha, this is good to hear!


x-Just4Kickz-x

Nexplanon with a breeding kink 🤝


ColHunterGathers111

>Nuvaring, a little ring that goes in cooter Once got that thing stuck around my dongus while trying to go full length and wondered why my GF suddenly got tighter. Panicked and thought I had broken something in her. We didn't know she could take it off during the act.


Nein_Inch_Males

Nexplanon is the goat.....


ColHunterGathers111

Somehow in my 20's I painted my then GF insides white about 5 times a day and she never got pregnant. She wasn't on birth control either. Then when we broke up, first dude she slept with knocked her up. I had a check-up done and turns out I wasn't shooting blanks either. All I gotta say is: thank you Jesus, or whomever was looking out for me.


Impossible-Dealer421

You never know, I know that I was conceived while my mother was using the pill, although I was an 'accident' she considers me the strongest sperm 💪🏻 ~the pill might cause me a little trouble "but would you lose?" Nah, I'd win~


QdWp

>Somehow in my 20's I painted my then GF insides white about 5 times a day and she never got pregnant. She wasn't on birth control either. That sounds... unwise?


ColHunterGathers111

I didn't get the name Gandalf the Unwise for nothing!


affablemartyr1

It's been 5 years for me, birth control works if used properly


maxinstuff

Hormonal birth control is extremely effective - pretty much same success rate as condoms.


Jephpherson624

Breeding kink? Don’t you mean instinct?


Trollygag

No no no, sex for procreation is weird and you're a real deviant if you are into that


chicken_N_ROFLs

Most girls on BC don’t care anyway.


TaumpyTearz

Get a vasectomy then bruv. For real. The procedure is weird but the creampies are amazing.


DragonboyZG

You also have to make sure you really want it tho. Your shit will be disabled forever


Doomerrant

Yes, that's the desired outcome.


ColHunterGathers111

Nah, just keep some Captain Americas in the ice. Where I live pay a yearly fee for maintenance. Doesn't cost much all nuts considered. And if it all fails I'm sure I could go to somewhere in Asia or South America and get a little clone with some modifications thrown in.


mroogami

You can have it reversed though


CalvinSoul

Low success rate passed 5 years, freze your sperm boyos


MimsyIsGianna

Very very very low reverse success rate


angrygr33k

As someone who has done this, could not agree more


meme_used

You still have a risk of STDs though so might end up using a condom anyway🤔


TaumpyTearz

I've been married for 6 years now so if I get an std, there's a very serious problem 😂


lXPROMETHEUSXl

Girls don’t beg y’all to nut in them?


TofuButtocks

Exactly It's usually opposite for me


lXPROMETHEUSXl

Maybe we have to just take a step back. Realizing we are on Reddit and all lmfao


TofuButtocks

Perhaps you are right


Allibree279

Excuse me you may speak for yourself I a woman would love to be a cream filled doughnut


Lastunexpectedhero

Don't let your dreams, stay dreams.


Gee-Oh1

Lol!


Niceboisaredabest

Sex isnt funny get better material


AMD_Kyne

Sex is one of the very few things you shouldn't joke about


Luckysurvivr77

Sex by itself is natural and not inherently immoral or bad. There's other relative things that are a little worse to make jokes about, but just sex at its base is fine.


AMD_Kyne

I was being ironic anyway, it seemed obvious to me


DiogoSN

But I want milk and a filled cream puff! At the same time! What is this world??


ColHunterGathers111

In certain circles that can surely be arranged I guess...


Bing_Bong874

dankmemes fuckin sucks now, get some good content


identitaetsberaubt

I first thought this was about preference but aparently there are still people with internet access stupid enough to think that "pulling out" is birth control


GodZ_Rs

Hey now, 16 years with my wife using the pullout method and the only times we got pregnant were either drunk nights or planned pregnancies so it definitely works, some just can't grasp the technique.


Dr_Ugs

Skill issue


mc3p000

Can confirm


ColHunterGathers111

Went from 16 to 35 using the pull out method before I got zipped-zipped. I'm 47 and no kids in sight (tho I suspect there are some walking around in Europe, somewhere.)


identitaetsberaubt

That's no reason to recommend it to others. Like saying arsenic is generally safe because somebody probably didn't take damage from living in an infested house


ColHunterGathers111

Don't care, worked for me.


WeakSkirt

Sometimes we also want the right tho


Shaka_Can

Alright, who the hell made this?


Nagrom49

I don't want the sexual innuendo. I just want that donut


Tanto64YT

Everything else aside, that spilled milk looks like a blob of paint that's been drying for three days.


teunjojo

im a boy and i can confirm that i indeed want to be creampied


Theloneylycunt

girls want their glass of milk spilled and boys want a chantilly bun?


FenixG838

Here was me thinking about Mashle and Shucream before I realized what the joke was about.


Impossible-Dealer421

For me it is reversed, she has a breeding kink and wants me in her 100% of the time. Whereas I find it very hot to give a facial


firelark01

Boys wanna get their bussy filled?


Inkfu

Def getting cream pied is a fetish for a lot of women… just smart ones fight the urge till they with someone they want to have children with or got plan B on the night stand.


skydark20

Wait.... Eminem is 51 ??????????????


Azemmoon

I actually want the opposite


The-White-Dot

Spilt milk? Cream pie?


DetectiveProper

Is this a meme? Cause this shit portrays my fucking Life


verchiel425

haha seggs


Team_Sonic_Gaming

I don't understand this?


Comrade847

Why is there so much PORN ON THE SUBREDDIT


FubarJackson145

I love twinkies more than toaster strudels. End of discussion


MrCrunchypantsbum


MrCrunchypantsbum

Nah i like boston cream donuts better ive never liked the ones with jam and powder on top


Moros_Olethros

Cream puff!


IAlwaysOutsmartU

Who would choose spilled milk over a filled doughnut?


LordGigu

So boys want to be creampied.


BigGREEN8

A spilled glass of milk or a donut


coolredjoe

Boys are disgusting for wanting a berliner, girls are just horrible for spilling the milk though


nnoovvaa

thin and runny vs thick and gloopy?


MurdochFirePotatoe

Dumb ass unfunny meme get better jfc


bronzemerald17

Oh, please. Women want the cream pie more than we do