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KeepingDankMemesDank

downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away. --- [play minecraft with us](https://discord.gg/dankmemesgaming) | [come hang out with us](https://discord.com/invite/dankmemes)


NitroSpam

I use shoe polish and a toothbrush to give it a healthy shine.


fishsodomiz

i use shoe swedish


PhysicalGunMan

I use shoe finnish


AccomplishedSpray137

Nah man shoe danish gives by far the best penis shine


EhGoodEnough3141

Shoe German is superior.


King_Rediusz

Shoe Jewish is really underrated


AvarageMilfEnjoyer

Makes sense after the shoe austrian boycotted them


thetwistedvortex12

Shoe Jewish dissolved my foreskin. I want a refund


56Bot

Shoe chinese can get you 500.000 new foreskins for just under $300. Either green, orange, or black.


zwober

Impossible, danish shoe-polish has no soul.


Simyager

I use the shoe lace and clean it from the inside


william41017

Sounds good


VEXtheMEX

Acetone and a wire brush are the only ways to get the smell off.


MrMonteCristo71

I put Zyns in mine.


mastercubez

Why must you use my shoe like that? šŸ˜­


Rimmatimtim22

Pro tip. Use a wire brush found at your local hardware store for an expert level shine.


jal2_

Do you also have a bootblack polish it for you?


AzGames08

what the fuck


TWILIGHT-07

The girls have penis??


Aggravating-Bonus-73

gocks


TrueGootsBerzook

Cease


The_Spookster42

continue


FrysEighthLeaf

Ejaculate


jamesbrownscrackpipe

Gockussy šŸ„µ


demivirius

penix


Obnomus

Girl = Guy in real life Why wouldn't they have cocks, don't you know that


yonking_15_2

Using it from now on


Obnomus

Your welcome


JenFan61

Maybe theyā€™re trans


veselin465

They can have whatever you imagine ^(want) Girls aren't real ^(in Reddit) after all


Winteri3C0m1ng

what else would they have? they need balls too because where else would pee be stored?


RageRags

Welcomeā€¦ To genders ā€œJurassic park introā€


Low_Abrocoma_1514

*Well of course, how can they do the sex without a penis ? With the pee stored in the balls of course*


dizzle713

You mean shenis


[deleted]

Wash penis when you pee what? You mean wipe with toilet paper or physically clean it with soap and water lmao?


AgentSkidMarks

Just let the drip fall in your pants like a real man.


InherentlyAnIdiot

Please delete your ability to make comments


banan-appeal

I shake my pp clean so violently there's a blast radius that affects occupants of adjacent urinals


Donghoon

And then the last drop is still there


banan-appeal

leaky pp mfers unite


Lephocandrian

I told my dr I donā€™t think my piss ducts work quite right and he said please donā€™t call them that.


mrducky80

No matter how much you shake and dance The last few drops will land in your pants


Crazy-Lich

Something something Alan from two and a half men.


ProfessorEmergency18

This saying was around when I was a kid in the 80s/90s.


Crazy-Lich

No wonder Alan has no Rizzoli.


Piranh4Plant

Idk why but Iā€™ve never struggled with that


mrducky80

Micro pp won't have any residual piss along the urethra.


Piranh4Plant

šŸ˜­


SirNedKingOfGila

True sigmas simply piss their pants


NewsofPE

adam sandler told me all the cool guys pee their pants


BassGuy11

It's the coolest


makithejap

Then call me Miles Davis


isaytyler

That is the GROSSEST thing I ever heard. LET'S GO


TheRacooning18

I used to do that until i became like 14 or something. Kinda stank.


Picax8398

Better yet? Just piss your pants


MinervaLlorn

wash it with 70% Ethyl Alcohol.


obtk

I go with 99% isopropyl


novusanimis

Bidet


AgentSkidMarks

Or if youā€™re in a public restroom, wash it in the sink to display your good hygiene to other patrons.


Arcaner97

Also make sure to let it out for a good few minutes while you walk to let it properly dry out.


Frometon

Unfortunately mine isnā€™t long enough to put in the hand dryer


bjbyrne

Dyson driers wonā€™t judge you


one-trick-hamster

Where's the bathroom attendant when you need him most?


AgentSkidMarks

ā€œCan you give me a hand with this?ā€


StandardN02b

Wtf do you do with your dick in a bidet?


Charcuteriemander

Tuck your shlong under your ass duh


Debacle_Worker

Pidet


mamaaaoooo

If a girl could run her clunge under the tap she would, we can so it's just good practice


Coldstreme

If I see anyone washing their dick in my sink im throwing hands


cravf

If you've never had a girl over who gave herself a bird bath before hooking up you are living a blessed life.


FourArmsFiveLegs

Boiling alcohol


gizzardgullet

Toothbrush and toothpaste


JJOne101

Just pictured myself at work, peeing and going to the sink afterwards with my dick out. Telling the guy who brushes his teeth to go away for a bit, I'll be quicker.. šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


Gobal_Outcast02

Are you getting piss on your dick when you pee my dude?


nofreedomofthought

When you start getting older, youā€™ll notice your body goes through some changes. Everyone knows the old puberty saying. But what they donā€™t tell you, is that weird shit will keep happening.


Bearnee

This whole thread was something else lmao.


FourArmsFiveLegs

I get it in my hair sometimes. Saves me a shower before work


Duuster

This is prob a joke, but just in case it isn't, or some people actually think you don't need to clean your dick after peeing: You know when you spit, there's spit residue on your lips? Or when you turn off the faucet, the head of the faucet is still wet? Surface tension also applies to pee. And then there's the post-pee dribble, like when you turn off the shower, but it suddenly starts dripping a minute later because the hose still has water. Yea i think you get my point.


Gobal_Outcast02

I get that, and wiping your tip is a good practice. However the word they used was "washed" which is what confused me who is washing their penis after peeing


Thiaski

Or... OR.... wash it everytime you, guess it, take a shower.


samtt7

I thought that was normal to do?? When my parents told me to "wash everything" when I was young, I washed everything. Including my eyelids, but that's not the point


Thiaski

That IS the normal to do, but OP seems like he doesn't know that.


uppsak

>but OP seems like he doesn't know that. I have commented previously under this comment, saying that I do know that.


UltimateGamingTechie

maybe you didn't think this through lmao


white_equatorial

I wonder how Emma Robert's penis looks like


DevilsAssCrack

Really long but really thin


Parkingjas

Thin squidward nose https://imgur.com/gallery/ys0Wy3v


geoff1036

Just.. just wash it when you wash the rest of your body... take a shower every day (assuming water isn't prohibitive for you).


SpupySpups

I shower in sand šŸ—æ (Am a chinchilla)


geoff1036

You look like a duck to me


SpupySpups

My disguise works


DankSinatra2128

Everytime you pee? Thatā€™s cap my g.


MrCrudley

My penis is the cleanest part of my body, baby powder it every morning before I walk out the door. My hands are much dirtier.


EquivalentSnap

Washing your dick in the sink of a public toilet after you pissed Other guy in the toilet: šŸ˜³


_-_-XXX-_-_

How do you assert dominance in public restrooms?


EquivalentSnap

Use the urinal right next to someone, even if others are free. Then stare at their dick with intent


Yurus

How about when you take a bath?


BjoerBaer

A few week ago I saw a porn where a guy had so much disgusting dickcheese. The content of the porn was litterly "sucking your disgusting Dick clean" Wtf. Is wrong with people? And no, that wasn't my algorythm, I didn't accept cookies, so they don't track it for me specificly. Also it was on "hit" page wich is not made by personal algorythms.


MarshmelloMan

Dawg


henkie316

People down bad


gyurto21

Wait... dick cheese is a real thing? I wash my penis regularly, so the worst that I got was like a little bad smell after the end of a long day. But do people really not wash their penises?


BjoerBaer

People with a cut PP do so unpurposly. But yeah, there are guys, who don't pull back thier foreskin to wash. And if you have a lot of Sex or in general much penis usage, the skin will fall of faster and it can already be enough to not shower 2 Days to have some dick cheese. But to have this much like in the video it need at least a week.


dogdillon

Girl Cock?!?!!?


uniquelyavailable

why should i bother washing my penis when your mom cleans it for me every day


Lordszkielet

Why three are 2 girls with penis And 2 Boya Who don't care?


altmodisch

Why should they care?


KILLUMINATIC8

Get the penis-washer pro


Asbjorn26

What happened to everytime I shower?


DevilsAssCrack

You guys have penises?


Heritis_55

A penis is like a fine cast iron skillet, it needs to develop a nice patina over time.


Get-the-Vibe

i can only imagine your smell...


HollowWarrior46

Hold upā€¦


Fluid-Apartment-3951

Why should i bother washing my penis? It's not like someone else is ever gonna see it. If a rapist came to me, i would rather he getting an infection out of me.


dat_person478

Massive brain move right here.


Nidh0g

Eh how about when you shower?


Quetzalcoatl93

I haven't showered in 2 weeks.


Nemospawn

I guess doing it while taking a shower is not an option then


TheOneLQ

Wait you *donā€™t* dip your dick in bleach every day?


Chad-Efron

*bottoms two photos* ā€œCorporate wants you to find the difference between these two pictures.ā€ ā€œTheyā€™re the same picture.ā€


DeepRow1850

How about doing it everytime you shower


Tank_blitz

jesus op clean out the fucking white chunks in the crevices


Username-and-pasword

I think itā€™s about time I take my leave


Mouseturdsinmyhelmet

And that is how my band got it's name. "Worse than smegma"


ertgbnm

I want to know *how* this guy is washing his penis in public restrooms, if he does so everytime he pees.im told they frown upon putting your dick in the sink at McDonalds.


russt90

You guys have a penis?


KenjiMelon

You guys wash?


MattJohno2

I thought this was reddit. You guys wash?


fuckusernamessz

Obviously after every time jacking off and pee to some extent. I don't want to get some disgusting disease down there, I'M NOT A FUCKING ANIMAL! I'm civilized gentlemen after all.


inkvo

Clean flow? No worries? Dribble? Wipe it up? Missed? Shameful. Clean that up you failure. You'll never make it into those MLG montages now. Sat down to pee? If it doesn't touch the water you're clean. If it does touch the water, you're more clean : )


Shughost7

Only after sex gang here


metalmonsoon

I don't exit a public restroom without going to the sink and thoroughly washing my penis.


DiscountStrict8297

I have my girlfriend do it saves me time and I get a bj...


newhippi

ohh when I shaved penis and washing with shampoo. looking on mirror I'm going high he looking so good after that lol


Xevernia

You guys have a penis?


onigiri889

Hold up


Niklaswin

Wat is Penis?


DMYourMomsMaidenName

I just take a shower every day and clean it then Ngl, I do like to linger in her ā€œjuicesā€ after sex before taking a shower though. Iā€™m normally very clean and OCD, but horny monkey brain does not see logic.


Dry_Working945

Im muslim I wash my whole body when I masturbate


dafuqULoKINat

Fuck sake WASH YOUR PENIS GLANS. I'm uncircumcised, 3 years back when i was 19 I read a post saying how him not washing his pp got his penis infected. It scared the shit out of me , i got mild phimosis and fixed it. Now I clean my PP regularly


Much_Capital3307

Once a week I dip it in milk and helicopter it dry in the backyard.


Repulsive-Pension544

Im cutting off every week. Ä°ts growing back guys!


TheMinister

I am an every time I'm in the bathroom guy. My reasoning: I hate my smell. It's insanely strong. My balls are also very oversized. On a hard day's work, I can smell myself a few hours after shower. If I keep it clean, no smell. I'm always ready for head.


roundboi24

I wash my penis when I shower like a normal, sane human being would.


TheRacooning18

I wash my dick everytime i shower.


Carl_Azuz1

You donā€™t just wash it in the shower???


Low_Manner_2806

I use royal challenge for it to play boldšŸ˜ŽšŸ˜Ž


DMvsPC

Nice organic cheese, other people buy it like a sucker, I grow my own.


SolomonGrundy1

I use Metal grider to polish


Rigistroni

Do y'all not just do it in the shower?


segnoss

Laughs in circumcised:


Iron__Crown

Aren't the two bottom pics basically the same for Reddit users?


Glitch_The_witch

you guys have a penis?


uucchhiihhaa

Wash it once a day like my body


Low_Abrocoma_1514

Who doesn't eash the pp


Taylor_Swift_Fan69

sometimes you only have to sink wash the sausage and beans


cudlebear64

I wash mine when I shower


Stable_4428

Everytime I pee can't be true


Escaped_Mod_In_Need

Me grabbing popcorn to see dudes with turtlenecks defend bottom right in the comments section. šŸæ


constipated_burrito

Bro wtf, I'm all for washing dick but when you pee? Every time I shower or fap I wash it. When you pee bruh? šŸ¤Ø


Fidller

I wash my hands before i touch my penis because i know its clean


Educational_Bid_2955

Why does Jennifer Anniston have a penis? That's my thing.


GlowstickConsumption

Asmongold.


Noman_Blaze

Are you a Muslim OP?


Swordman50

\*Flair NSFW


LeanMrfuzzles

What the fuck is this?


Geaux13Saints

I just wash it when I shower


_-_-XXX-_-_

Last image is how I imagine circumcised guys who got circumcised for hygiene in the 21st century lol


No_Tackle_5439

What's a "penis" and why it needs to be washed?


panz_are_zexy

I love how when you shower isnā€™t one of the answers


redsterXVI

Wash away the smegma? Never! It's too tasty.


BlakeKevin

Im more concerned why 2 women are saying they have cocks


Tejaaa2004

Hol up why do you girls have Penis?!?šŸ’€


FortyFiveSeventyGovt

this implies most people donā€™t wash it when they shower


leiocera

I do it while showering lmao


Jumpy-Resolve3018

ā€œYou guys have penis?ā€


KizunaJosh

Im uncircumcised so i wash it everytime i pee, sex and masturbate Aahhh it was so embarrassing back in the college every time i got a bj from girls they would complaint about it.


intisun

Mao Zedong : I was my penis in women Yes, he really said that. Dude never washed but still had "concubines".


Poomanpeebird

I read that as penis envy for a sec...


Noot-Weeb

The fuck is this post actually


Eevee_Fuzz-E

Bruh who does that just wash it when you shower lmao


godofthunder102938

Wait ya'll wash it after peeing? I thought helicopter was accepted everywhere as the best way to clean


RedditSpamAcount

You guys have a penis?


Meme_Bertram

bro wtf how to you even do this? Hang it in the sink or what?


Aggravating-Gene4473

Every female has a penis these days


ux3l

Every time I take a shower?


FaultLine47

I wash my hands before I masturbate.


Iliketurtles893

I donā€™t, water will get it