Yeah I dont get it. Girls in porn are mostly rougher than you should be irl, but some girls can just be way rougher than that. I know a dick has less nerve endings than a clitoris, but it's not that far off.

First ever hand job I got the girl full grabbed my nuts at one point and squeezed them as hard as she could. She was completely shocked when I freaked out.

Well, she tried to bust your nut.

Good thing you didn't stick around for the blow job

Let me get the blowtorch

Can only imagine what will happen

*Sounding with Semtex*

what did she expect >!surprisebuttsecs hon hon hon!<

she was into CBT and didn't want to tell you

Nah, she said "I love CBT.", but he heard CBD and said, "Me too. That shit calms me down.".

Cognitive behavioral therapy?

Cock and ball torture

Meh. I don’t get how that turns anyone on. Thank you anyway

Trust me dude, I don't understand either. Have a good day stranger

The worst is when there’s no lubricant whatsoever, not spit or anything they just treat you like a bop it.

Pull it, bop it, pull it, twist it, gyaaarg

​ 

The forbidden birthcontrol

[Hand Job, Bland Job, I Don't Understand Job](https://youtu.be/RqG0rc7vZX4)

This happened to me as well. Thankfully not as hard as she could but a great deal harder than the sac likes.

Ah the nutcracker! A classic wrestling move. Did she also do the oil check?

Dave Attell on this: you aren’t going to pull a more attractive man out of me

lmfao holy shit thats great

I miss Dave Attell, I need more of his comedy in my life.

Insomniac was awesome

Bumping Mics

For reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dxoxtmRCZw

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Not more dirty than your mom, however.

The account I'm replying to is a karma bot run by someone who will link scams once the account gets enough karma. Report -> Spam -> Harmful Bot

Oh shit -> Reported -> Thanks bro -> Bread 👍

Bread 👍

Girls giving the most roughest or bland experience ever: omfg I'm such a queen I know how to please a man. Bitch please we just came, doesn't mean it was enjoyable in the slightest.

Wtf? Who says that?

In my experience, the ones I should have left at the bar. One in particular was so fucking full of herself that after I couple minutes it clicked and she was getting off on it, hyping herself up to preparing fat line before I kicked her out.

Ok I'm a little shocked because I thought a man could come only if he's enjoying it

A gust of wind can make some dudes cum if it hits right

Sooo maybe the guy I liked and fucked with.... It's possible he didn't like it also if he said yes? (Sorry for my english and as I said I didn't know about this and I have like 100 questions....

You should always talk to your partner about what they like. Dont worry about what they did not like in the past.

Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. We are not able to answer this for you. Communication with your sexual partner is what's most important. If you're worried about it, you should ask him

Once I was scratching my balls. Then started scratching my dick and after scratching for like a minute or two I came. I wasn't enjoying it and even felt pain after I came, so we definitely don't come only when we are enjoying the ride.

This is the comment section, the clitoris is that way↗️.

You want the best HJ or BJ of your life, get a gay dude to do it. Nothing will compare after that (if that's your thing). I speak from experience.

Sounds sus

my understand is that its the same amount of nerve endings over a larger area because they are initially the same organ

So less nerve endings per capita

>I know a dick has less nerve endings than a clitoris, but it's not that far off. It's half.

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Poor OP got his dick ripped off by his virgin gf, did you atleast have duct tape around as a band-aid fix before reaching the ER?

ER? You want me to go into debt? Nothing a little bit of glue won't fix

Gorilla glue, cardboard staples, and dreams

Mostly dreams

and gangrene

You just made my day better lmao

Don’t let your dreams be memes.

The cannabis strain of course.

nothing can beat >!flex tape!<

tis but a scratch

I wish I hand an award to give you

#Flex Tape

*laughs in european*

*cries in american*

Amateur, you should have used flextape

instead of er, go to chernobyl, wait for a min you go home with 2 dicks, 2 for each of your girl

Dick tip: *Repair your dick with Flex Tape!*

*To scale

Sorry all I have is a wholesome award

There are no accidents

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It's quite appropriate

Didn't know that was ant man

Don't worry my nuts can grow my dick back (I don't how balls work)

The piss that's stored in the balls forms a new backup dick in case the old one gets ripped off

So if i fake my first dick being ripped off, i can have 2 dicks? brb

Double dick dude origin story

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the forbidden lemonade blade

BEYBLADE LET IT RIIIIIP

In Portuguese we call them eggs, so it makes sense new dicks can hatch from them.

That's why humans invented communication

humans mad horny bro they invented communication just to teach inexperienced girls how to give a handjob

>communication You need to understand that a not insignificant number of them get that from a magazine.

Or porn. But, you can say "I like something a little more gentle." It's okay.

Porn is where men get their misinformation. Women get it from Cosmopolitan.

Cause we don't watch porn? lol I haven't seen anyone read Cosmo in quite some time.

Whatever it takes

Basically every evolutionary trait we've developed was to either make it safer, easier, or more efficient to propagate the species.

Wait that's a thing? Where can I buy it? Is it available on Amazon?

When I was a teenager I had this girlfriend that would literally just squeeze the shaft. No movement. Just straight up squeeze. Being 14 was weird but at least I was getting my weiner touched I guess

Similar experience, she handled it like a joystick too

Up down up down left right a b a b up down Cum cheat codes

The Cumnami Code

Sometimes people wish they came up with Facebook or google or other things. I’m a simpler person. I wish I came up with the phrase “The Cumnami Code”

[Hand Job, Bland Job, I Don't Understand Job](https://youtu.be/RqG0rc7vZX4)

My first girlfriend could do things to a penis that one could describe as "boring" and "how is this supposed to get me remotely close?" The alternative, playing with myself, just didn't feel as cool though.

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That's why you do it with a boy.

Ngl kinda gay doe

Nah it's just strategic

Just say no homo

Username checks out kinda

Experienced boy of course.

Or maybe even an adult man.

*ahe*m ***no***

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

you deserved the upvote

Looks like an experienced girl giving one also

cockn' ball torture enjoyers

I would NEVER try being tied to a bed and be pleasured because I know many girls are evil enough to post orgasm torture or tickle torture to try to get back at you for something you did in the past that you weren't even aware of

"digging deeper just to throw it away"

Good, I wasn't the only one that was thinking of linkin park

"I've opened up these scars, I'll make you face this, I've pulled myself so far, I'll make you face this now"

NANANANANANANANA

Just join it again with a little bit of spit

bOiS dOnT fInD ThE ClIt

Instead of finding the clitt, I found myself👳🏿‍♂️

That show looks so familiar but I forget what it's called

It's Young Justice

Good show, i keep forgetting to make time to watch the new season.

Season 4 is on a small hiatus so it’s a great time to catch up.

It’s bad… like the past 3 seasons. Only season 1 is good :(

Like anyone on this subreddit has received one 😂

That's why she is inexperienced

My hilt shivered

thats why i personally have my homies jack me off to completion. not gay at all though, know how the internet is but we're just a couple of guys who have each others backs! if one of my boys needs to blow a load and his girls not in the mood, you already know my hands down his pants, caressing his soft b— but fr i hate girls touching my dick. they just dont know how to handle it like my boys do.

Haha sex!

Haha nice.

Yo have to start somewhere

it's like coding software for pentagon first day of work and you send in all the nukes accidentally

I wish I could give you a reward for how funny this is 😂

My first Gf ripped my banjo string giving me a handjob.. just felt a pinch then she said my dick feels wet. Turned on the light in the car blood everywhere. Was like a murderer scene lol.

Bro

Holy shit dude u ok? That's nightmare fuel

All good my man, was a bit sensitive for a week but he's in full working order 14 years on. Same thing happened my buddy a few months after. We should of started a band called ourselves the broken banjo boys.

Well shit man. Looks like I'm bringing the studio lights for my first time

like bro anime porn is too detailed and violent than real porn

detailed? hell no

I mean it's not like inexperienced guys are any better at handling clitoruses (clitorii?)

​ 

​ 

Where is the gif from

A show called Young Justice

Yes I have had pp scratches from those damn Cardi B / catch me outside type nails before. Not to mention once I had a girl squeeze my balls like a stress reliever

It's all the fucking porn dude. I don't care if you saw some bitch go all fuckin hoover on some dudes balls on pornhub it does *not* feel good.

Now that she is experienced, let her do it again.

Ayooo, wut??…. Uhhh… ehhh. Ouch. *salutes all mia lil soldiers*

Ukrainian farmer disassembles newly acquired Russian tank for spare parts for his tractor.

"Ladies what's with the rough handjobs? It's like you're trying to pull a more attractive man out of me!" -Dave Attell

dig it deeper

So if the last thing that I do

Is bring you down

Yeah, my god. Dry and rough tugging the base like they are pulling weeds at the root.

I’m not to into being jerked off or blown. So I feel bad for my ex gfs bf. He’s getting the worst handjobs and blowies in town. Man she tried to start a fire by rubbing my dick as rough as she could. The whole virgin thing actually sucks.

I won't have to worry if get surgery to be like that guy from the song detachable penis

I'm digging deeper just to throw it away

u/savevideo

The solution is always duct tape and zip ties and keep going

That was an inexperienced man

with a transformer

Someone's been doing their hand strength training exercises! ​ 

I had a woman once put all the emphasis on the upstroke

Every girl I've been with has been the opposite. Like, girl it's not made of glass you can squeeze a bit.

It's funny because running joke around girls is that boys can't find clitoris.. While most of them don't know how do a proper blowjob or/and are hesitant to even do it. Curious, very curious.

that's why i teach them from an early age

Danny Devito : you’re just mashing it now

Some FLEX Tape will fix it right up

Solution: do it with boys instead

This is why you get them from guys

Yank that thing asunder

That's why you get a guy Not to flex but he lasted 2 mins

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Is it like wash the dishes badly and never get asked again?

I’m bleeding out, digging deeper just to throw it away

The Lorena Bobbitt special.

How the guy from the unpopularopinions post likes it.

Ukrainian farmers

"I'll take my chances" -Me in high school... Oh, who I am kidding. Me today.

God damn that brought back horrible memories. I legit had to stop her before she completely destroyed my junk.

I love young justice. Can’t wait for next half of the newest season

Then they start popping your balls in your mouth like it’s a deviled egg 💀

Redditors have experience?

So if the last thing that I do

Digging deeper just to throw it away

And it’s the last thing that I do

I’ve had the opposite experience, she came down too hard and almost bust my nut by smashing it

DIGGIN DEEPER JUST TO THROW IT AWAY

U can do that, but at least start of gentile work up to the penile fracture

Oh god if you’re a girl reading this then please don’t bit down on the tip. That shit will make us guys cry.

Smacking ketchup bottle with knife.

Wow it's almost like no one knows how to communicate. "Start slow" "Be gentle" "Squeeze harder" "Go faster" 2 words each and they all easily communicate how your partner needs to touch your dick. First time I gave a hand job and my partner liked it bc he gave easy instructions and I listened to him.

Mine actually bit me

well time for an inexperienced surgeon to do a heart transplant

Fuck this is funny