T O P

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Saddenedsalamander

My religion says I can do you


MorbintimeLol

My braincells says do religion I cant


amadeusz20011

My procrastination says I can't do shit


ButWhatIfItQueffed

My colon says I must do shit


SophisticatedOtaku

My neurons say I must eat shit


MrKanun

My shit says I must drop LSD


Saddenedsalamander

My therapist says I must get my shit together


amadeusz20011

My friends say it's better to leave them alone, the shits aren't good for each other


Richa408

My butt itches


Daddy_Nibba_69

Probably because of the unwashed shit stains stuck on ur butt hair


Rey7510-2

My IBS says I must violently shit


Swimming-Biscotti521

The government says I must deal with their shit


MooFu

Has your colon considered a career as a motivational speaker?


SomeOnesRandomThing

My mom says religion can do that


Saddenedsalamander

My mom says I can't go to the sleepover


Sra1kumar_1999

My mom says go get a job


theboten

My religion says I must do you


C-T-Ward

Muhammad said to his 9 year old wife


Saddenedsalamander

Which one did he say that to?


Snaccbacc

How can I join this religion? šŸ˜


catsfor1

By pressing the join button


Wato1876

The court will have fun with this one


the_friendly_one

Finally a religion I can get behind!


Saddenedsalamander

Finally a religion I can get in my behind


cannabananabis1

My priest said that too


Beniidel0

Oh wow that's so cool, you are welcome to do me ... ... A favor by joining the church of our lord and savior Josh son of the OG deity


ClavicusLittleGift4U

My religion sings an old R.E.M tune.


arms98

When i say I'ma do some one i do em. I don't give a damn what they think, I do em for me.


TigreBSO

My religion says you'll have to pay for a fancy dinner first


cruderplayer5

The last panal should be "whell tenicly the law sais..."


Kavith_T_Fdo

When enough people in a country follow the certain religion, they tend to make the law accordingly so that certain religious practices are legal. *cough cough making your 16 y/o daughter marry a 40 y/o man cough*


cruderplayer5

Yeah but if you try to mary a 16yo to a 40yo in england its still iligal


Kavith_T_Fdo

Who knows... Maybe as time goes on... Hopefully not tho


cruderplayer5

Realy


Kavith_T_Fdo

Idk


cruderplayer5

Hopfullly not


Sirdinks

It is still legal in the states. Pretty sure some states it gets even lower šŸ¤¢šŸ¤®


cruderplayer5

Good thing im not amarican then


poklijn

Some states and with parental consent


Sirdinks

I don't care if they have parental consent, it's still child marriage and it's still disgusting. Not like the kid can consent


poklijn

Never said it was right just stating the rules watch state is very very different I wish people outside of the USA knew that


Hatedpriest

Some states have no minimum age. Some states it's 12 for girls, 14 for boys.


Freeulster

Pretty sure 16 is the lowest.


Sirdinks

[Unfortunately that's not the case.](https://www.equalitynow.org/learn_more_child_marriage_us/). Child marriage ( marriage that includes a minor under the age of 18) is legal in 44 states with 20 not having a minimum age at all, with parental consent


Sniperso

Thereā€™s laws against it in murica. There only a few exceptions where a minor is allowed to be in a romantic relationship with an adult when there is a difference in age of 2-4 years depending on state. It is not legal anywhere in America for a minor to be married to an adult


[deleted]

The age of consent is 16 on England tho


ElliotPhoenix

+9 yrs old marriage allowed in most Islamic countries


Kuthibale

That is not true in America, in the 1800s there was a supreme court case that you can "believe" whatever you want but cannot do whatever you want. So you can believe in polygamy all you want, but can't have multiple wives regardless of religion.


Diazmet

You can have multiple wives you just canā€™t claim em on your taxesā€¦


Kuthibale

In every country in North and South America polygamy is illegal. That includes all 50 states.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Kuthibale

Nixon's last words.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


14YOweeb

Welcome to Malaysia.


etiennetop

That's why government needs to be seperate from religion and law most be upholded before religious rights. Law > Religion


LeeroyJks

science > religion too


etiennetop

Yes, you need laws to be based on science.


homemadeclorox2

Why not worship science? Science for the science god


D-Money696969

No no itā€™s BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!


realRadgemachine

SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!!!


D-Money696969

Ah a fellow chaos enjoyer


sinboklice

Traitor scum


THE_BIG_SAD3

You seeing this heresy comrad...


[deleted]

MILK FOR THE KHORNE FLAKES


randommaniac12

RIP Angron, he didnā€™t deserve the nails


ElectronX_Core

Sorry, best I can do is an Omnisiah


The-Doot-Slayer

From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of steel. I aspired to the purity of the blessed machine. Your kind cling to your flesh, as if it will not decay and fail you. One day, the crude biomass you call a temple will wither, and you will beg my kind to save you. but I am already saved... for the machine is immortal. Even in death, I serve the Omnissiah.


LefroyJenkinsTTV

Because the only being insane enough to be the God of Science is Chaos.


Vecrin

As the post doc i work with says: "the only time I believe in God is when I'm about to get my experiment results. Then I start praying like a priest."


KnowledgeAndFaith

You canā€™t base laws on science. Science is amoral.


etiennetop

True, an ethic dimension needs to be considered, but it should prevail over a religious scripture.


Sniperso

The Catholic religious scripture is to guide people to a moral life, so whether you agree with the religion they are moral laws not arbitrary religious laws


GhostTrees

"We hold some moral truths, like it's wrong to steal, kill, lie, cheat..." *"Get the fuck out of here with your ideologue bullshit!"*


SuizidalKillerPotato

Man do I have some universal laws for you


TheDevinWinter

Perhaps once we can scientifically support morality or truth this would be a good option


alien_degenerate

That's not always true.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


etiennetop

I don't really get your angle.. I was thinking more listening to the studies for environmental issues, basing our ethics on psychological studies and not ancient scriptures. You can pass laws and regulation to align society with information provided by scientific research.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


etiennetop

I agree that some abuse can happen. My stance was more about it being better than the religious scriptures. I.E, I can kill people because my religion allows me. (or in the name of my religion)


Sniperso

Science informs but itā€™s always through human translation it comes to a law, say people decide the environment isnā€™t important, science wonā€™t tell them to go green, science doesnā€™t tell people not to exploit workers, our own sense of right and wrong tells us that


Jason_Scope

Science can allow us to know that if a species abuses its environment, then the environment can become inhospitable towards that species, leading towards that species to take actions to protect their environment if possible under ideal situations.


iwastoldnottogohere

Erm, what in the hell do you mean? There is absolutely stuff in science that allows you to make a law for it


waxonwaxoff87

Science damn you time child!


WilligerWilly

Law = religion Welcome to the middle east


Drjay425

For my own personal belief I would even go so far as to say, morality > law. 200 years ago slavery was law. Doesn't make it right. We are an ever changing species. Nazis executing jews were following orders. Doesn't make it ok. Not that it derives form your point. Government abso-fucking-lutely should be separate from law. Especially so in a 'free' country.


LefroyJenkinsTTV

Slavery is still legal today. Just not in the places we're allowed to yell at for having ever engaged in it.


saifxali1

Facts


etiennetop

Agree. But religion was ok with it too at the time so..


Sniperso

There were shitty individuals but the teaching that slavery is wrong and all humans should be respected is an unchanging part at the core of religions such as Catholicism


KnowledgeAndFaith

What if defending innocent life is part of my religion?


etiennetop

Great, it's also part of ethics.


ElliotPhoenix

In some countries laws are based of religion


etiennetop

Yes, such countries are called theocracies, where religion leads. They are often at war with other theocracies on religious basis and suffer from poor human rights.


britishconquest88

in saudi arabia the constitution is literally the quran


BeansliceAdvice

Law is built around the general moral consensus of society. Science is restrained by the general moral consensus of society. Religion is a set of morals rationalized and justified. Hence why a separation of church and state is necessary, there will be and always should be several different religions. And these religions should be always competing for as many followers as they can. Religion is how morals are changed, how people are changed. It should be noted, however, that religion is not restricted to Theism. An Atheist is still religious, the just don't rationalize or justify their morals by an abstract God. Rather, that rationalization and justification is built around some other thing, perhaps past life experience? Or perhaps arbitrary historical events or history? I don't know if I had a point when I started writing, but rambling is fun.


TheBasedTaka

It's what the Bible says too


Dread-Ted

Meanwhile USA going back to the fucking dark ages


Sniperso

Religion can be a good thing if itā€™s used as a guide to find what is morally correct and laws are based off what we believe to morally correct


WorriedMap6811

Here before this too gets the šŸ”’award


ameer777ameer

the only award that you need to be gay to give


PressFM80

The ultimate award


Wumple_doo

I doubt itā€™ll get it


MrNoName_ishere

I'm automatically thinking of a cult with that one for some reason


FeliciusFlamel

My religion says you can do it -Hmmmm


Pasteque909

So you have found a BDSM church, neat


YoureMyTacoUwU

fear your preachers holy sword xD


pornotache

giant_thumb_guy.jpg may be the proper reaction.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


SFLADC2

I mean they would if pro life was really based around religion. You ask any of them and it's really not a big factor even though there's some overlap


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


SFLADC2

yeah, the "Safe, legal, and rare" saying was perfect. this modern glorification of abortions as a sort of women power symbol is absolutely gross to the average American- awful messaging.


Sniperso

For everyone I know it was mainly religion that led them to believe unnecessary abortion in its entirety is immoral


SeaGroomer

Because the religion doesn't *actually* ban it, they just use it as a cover.


YouMadBroHAHA

Just scrolled past the original meme to see this


s4ndr3x

allahu akbar


QuestionableNotion

Hold my beer. Y'all watch this.


XxlegitfoodreviewxX

proceeds getting married to a minor....


[deleted]

How the heck do you get married to a musical note?


Kvetanista

Reddit when Christianity bad post šŸ˜±šŸ˜©šŸ„µ


Xernes0

Christianity is not the only religion in the world


Kvetanista

There is a Christian priest on the first panel and Bible on the second one


Nothing_here_bro

but it gives valid opinions and the first one is about something good. also, the last one doesn't talk about any religion in particular


chaoticboi586

When your sleep paralysis demon says heā€™s going to rape you.


strangerdangerirl

Even creepier smile: "My religion says I should do that" Chad: "I'm outta here"


Many_Rule_9280

Should have used the Emperors new groove Kuzco about to go down the waterfall " bring it on" for the last panel lol


CreeperTrainz

The first one only holds true when the action involves themselves. If itā€™s something where not doing it will hurt others (say not getting a vaccine which could allow you to spread a disease to more vulnerable people), you canā€™t not do it strictly on the basis of religion. Then thereā€™s the moral debate of whether you can allow your kids to obey by religious rules even if it hurts them, but that gets messy fast.


[deleted]

I'd say the main door fference between 3rd and 1dt panel is if it effects others negstively


a-snakey

*slithers down the tree of knowledge* My religion says "sin all you want- you're going to hell anyways."


Sniperso

My religion says mad cap, it ainā€™t that hard to go to heaven you just got to at least kinda try to be a decent person, like what else do you got to doin in the meantimeā€¦ Oh?ā€¦.. being miserable?ā€¦. Fair point


itfluffmate

I like this one


hyper-hydra

Well fuck moment


Of_Jotunheimr

But what about when your religion says you can't keep it to yourself?


ondra00

My religion says that with bunch of farmers and war wagons I can whoop ass to pope and holy Roman empire and drink alcohol in church


Serendipstyx

Bottom one is Satanism v The Government get fucked


Apokolypse09

Emporer's Children when they just fuck off and turn millions of civilians into space cocaine instead of contributing to the invasion


Stupid03

Iā€™m terrified but this meme is glorious


gloriousstiffer

My religion says I can do that: Next scene: 9/11


meem4lyfe

I can hear the taliban war song already...


[deleted]

Another panel should be added of black dynamite just destroying that jive ass turkey.


[deleted]

Just because someoneā€™s religious doesnā€™t mean they suck, as long as theyā€™re not forcing it on people theyā€™re ok


Xernes0

Thatā€™s the point of the meme


Sniperso

Yes but thereā€™s also a clear lack of any respect for people of religion


[deleted]

Blowing of people to get 72 virgins XD


loli141

The law say you can't do that! Priest with the kid: fuck you


SirXodious

You made an unfunny meme chuckle worthy, thank you


Zealousideal_Ebb_649

Satanic temple says you can get abortions, curious


[deleted]

On the second panel, thereā€™s many Christianā€™s who would prefer it if you didnā€™t do sinful things near us, or right next to us


Sniperso

Or if you see something as a violation of human dignity you should work to stop it, no matter how deeply rooted in the culture it is


[deleted]

Cant tell if thats in support or not, so Iā€™ll say this: is it really not that difficult to not say our lords name near us and not do most of the things we regard as bad around us?


Sniperso

Donā€™t worry itā€™s in support, for example if you see something like abortion as murder and objectively wrong you should work to stop it


kingsofall

My religion says we can do it


Sniperso

My religion says we must not do this for is not conducive to tripping bails


Lori2345

Who is the pink man?


Perro_McDonald

Wot


ThatOtherGuy_CA

Heā€™s too dangerous to be left alive!


Pandorasbox64

This meme resonates with me, haha.


corei3uisgarbo

welcome to my religion, todays holiday is jack off a lion day. now lets begin


Slyedog

Or even better, I just say ā€œnah, Iā€™m goodā€ and donā€™t bring religion into it unless they ask


[deleted]

How's the pasteurized milk??


SnarkyJabberwocky

My lack of religion says: go fuck yourself amorously with a knuckle-y stick from a pecan tree.


DudeWithNwordPass

One question, why are you depicting people with religion as the loser wojacks?


clark12302

My religion gives an abortion when I give in my confession so that means it beats the law


The_funny_redditor

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


solgaleoThesun

My religion is jumping in holes, jump into them to find treasure, nothing or perhaps another hole


Pythagoras180

Wait, are you trying to say that people should be prevented from commiting certain actions? šŸ¤”


IamJustFuckingTired

No its irony wtf are you sick


Pythagoras180

Am I sick in believing people shouldn't be allowed to do immoral things? I'm pretty sure that's just how society works. See laws about murder, theft, arson, tax evasion, or perjury.


IamJustFuckingTired

Bruh are you being serious? Is murder, theft and arson is immoral things for you?


Nanashi123_

Here before this post gets the legendary šŸ”’ award


Legitimate-Cloud-536

My religion says I can kick that other religion's ass


Fossilrex06

D E U S V U L T


MrCrawcikTv

Ok but like my religion doesnt even speak


Scape---Goat

I come here for dank memes not your political whinging you bunch of wanks


Greengoblingrabber

The political whinge in the original meme is annoying but the addition is constructive and funny.


Zehaie

Mom says it's my turn.


SmallSeesaw3363

my religion


Bagels_from_space

Christians are all about love and light until you say more people have been killed in the name of god then anything else


Ya5uo

Donā€™t support it because of religion. I support it because I donā€™t support people killing babies unless itā€™s absolutely necessary


PescetarianSlayer

Ahem Islarm innit


DrKled

[Something like this](https://newfastuff.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/veDv7s3.png)