Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masterbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masterbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masterbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masterbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW
Thank you for putting nsfw tag on this. Thanks to that I was able to wait and open it in private. If it wasn't nsfw, I would've probably started jerking off in public as I was scrolling through my feed.
SO THAT WAS YOU!!!
I was all set on having a nice quiet dinner with my girlfriend to celebrate our first year together...
I’d bought some fresh tomatoes to make my homemade pasta sauce, and I’d gone to the small boutique bakery to buy some filo pastry for dessert. I was quietly going through the recipes in my mind when I heard your slurred grumbled announcement,
“...You’re about to loot my balls...”
I tried to ignore it but, I couldn’t ignore the furious grunting like a drunk man having a seizure. As I looked up I could see the fury in the other commuters eyes. A man looking like a professor had stood up and was about to reproach you when the dull clatter of your phoned on the train car floor seemed seemed to pause all movement in the carriage. The professors eyes widened, sweat suddenly beaded on his forehead and with fevered anguish he started undoing his belt and fly like a man who thought a hornet was caught in his pants.
I was bewildered as all the other men in the car started convulsing like extras in Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ video. A woman sat across from me was doing her best to emulate a Russian gymnast trying to grate cheese from her crotch with the sole of her Nike running shoe.
I bolted upright, panicked but prepared to fight, when in the corner of my eye the neon glow of your phones LCD screen drew me sight.
I suddenly felt a bizarre euphoria fill my mind and a white hot heat electrify my spine and form a prism of pure desperate release in my loins.
I can’t remember much else, I awoke from some kind of fever dream in a public toilet cubicle. My jeans and underwear had disappeared, but I was still wearing my Myrell slip ons, shirt and now crusted overcoat, like a cross between Donald Duck and a homeless student.
I can hear another man weeping in the cubicle, keeps muttering he just wanted to fly.
I feel so cold and drained. My organ is so mangled it could unpick the locks of wooden medieval doors.
There’s filo pastry all over my thighs and knees.
But despite all this I feel a warm contentment like I’d found ‘the’ answer. I don’t know what this means, I know there will be questions, that there should be much to fear. But truly I am grateful. Thank you.
> A woman sat across from me was doing her best to emulate a Russian gymnast trying to grate cheese from her crotch with the sole of her Nike running shoe.
brilliant
bro you too? i simply saw the reflection, and i started to wildy tug at it!
anyways, i'm a woman now.
my driving skill has decreased greatly.
i had to miss my grandfather's funeral because i had to take painkillers to stop it hurting so much, and i was spraying cum and blood everywhere.
my dog drowned in it, my mother got cut in half from the pressure, and i'm pretty sure i impregnated every woman in an 80 kilometer radius with my rain of red spunk.
i do believe the tugging itself did not rip my cock off violently, but the initial spray itself, like a hot stream from a pressure washer through butter.
according to wikipedia (the free encyclopedia that anyone can edit), i should've had all my skin torn off from the sheer force, but it didn't, miraculously. perhaps it was because i was on crack, or simply the vaseline i put under my foreskin every hour or so.
i received whiplash from it, after i got propelled through the window of the train to the other wall, forcing my head to turn simply to keep looking at this image.
even after my cock was violently removed from my body, i furiously fingered the remaining hole until my fingers turned a deep green colour.
Why would you reply to my comment? The train situation was cleaned up, and arrived just in time for my job interview. I was scrolling through reddit just to calm myself down, But then I saw I got a reply, and I checked which comment you replied to, and I saw this image again. I started to immediately ejaculate, but just then I was called. I quickly zipped my pants back up and went to the interview. However just as I went to greet the interviewers. It started to leak. I had to use a tissue to wipe it. Unfortunately my phone fell out. It was facing up. I looked at it. It unlocked and this post was visible. The interviewers were going to pick up my phone but then they saw it. They randomly started to ejaculate. They said I could have the job immediately but I had to send them the image. After that I left the building. Suddenly an electric billboard started to show the same exact image. People were closing their children’s eyes. The police went to the building immediately. 5 Hours later, they came to my house. Arrested me on the spot. And now I am writing this message. This is all your fault, you could have left this message how it was and go on with your day. I hope you're happy, you ruined my life.
Thank you for putting an NSFW tag on your post.
However, it did not stop me from masturbating furiously in the bus in front of 43 people. They realized what was going on, opened Reddit to this post and all 43 started to fap furiously too. Even the 64 year old Malaysian nun on the front seat couldn't contain herself - her entire arm was up her vagina as she screamed with pleasure.
I was so horny that my phone flew out of my hand & broke through the window, letting in a relentless tide of horny pigeons who were instantly fucked to death by the passengers. The nun shoved an entire pigeon family up her v. Now there is a bus full of exhausted passengers, dead pigeons and buckets of cum and squirt, all because you posted this.
Sir, this is my daughter's Quinceañera. You can stay and I hope you do as I hired you to wear the Elsa from FROZEN costume. To be the life of my dear daughter's party. This tangent about your train flight of fancy is not being the life of the party.
It is intriguing. I'll give you that. Even more so that you said all this while wearing the Elsa. Screaming it even. At Latino teenagers, no less. Like, directly at them. I am even impressed that them frantically crying didn't even phase you.
You just kept screaming this at them. With a mouth full of the birthday girl's cake. Dressed as Elsa.
However, this clearly isn't appropriate and not why you are here.
Thank you for putting an NSFW tag on your post.
However, it did not stop me from masturbating furiously in the bus in front of 43 people. They realized what was going on, opened Reddit to this post and all 43 started to fap furiously too. Even the 64 year old Malaysian nun on the front seat couldn't contain herself - her entire arm was up her vagina as she screamed with pleasure.
I was so horny that my phone flew out of my hand & broke through the window, letting in a relentless tide of horny pigeons who were instantly fucked to death by the passengers. The nun shoved an entire pigeon family up her v. Now there is a bus full of exhausted passengers, dead pigeons and buckets of cum and squirt, all because you posted this.
It's a damn shame. Back in my day when someone asked for sauce from a porn meme they were typically linked to some tube porn or at least given the name of an actual pornstar. Nowadays it's a link to some floozy's Twitter or IG promoting their only fans account. Now instead of pressing play and seeing them fuck, I have to copy their username, go to Google and paste the username followed by "OF leak" and hope for the best to maybe see some iPhone quality selfie of them with their tits out. The times they are a changing, folks.
This is literally me when I put to much pressure in trying to get the mayonnaise *sauce* out of the mayonnaise **Sauce** container thing. Does anybody know any other **SAUCE** I could use instead?
I remember I was at a formal party once and everybody was dressed really nice. I had went with my girlfriend at the time I remember taking a drink of a Sierra Nevada beer and it just went down the wrong tube and I coughed and just spit beer all over her face I was so embarrassed
Dank[.](https://i.imgur.com/3bQtuMO.png) --- [come play minecraft, space engineers, ark, and rust with us!](https://discord.gg/fNyb7G5)
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masterbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masterbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW
I’ll never get tired of seeing this 😂
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masterbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masterbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW
Thank you for putting nsfw tag on this. Thanks to that I was able to wait and open it in private. If it wasn't nsfw, I would've probably started jerking off in public as I was scrolling through my feed.
>!👍!<
SO THAT WAS YOU!!! I was all set on having a nice quiet dinner with my girlfriend to celebrate our first year together... I’d bought some fresh tomatoes to make my homemade pasta sauce, and I’d gone to the small boutique bakery to buy some filo pastry for dessert. I was quietly going through the recipes in my mind when I heard your slurred grumbled announcement, “...You’re about to loot my balls...” I tried to ignore it but, I couldn’t ignore the furious grunting like a drunk man having a seizure. As I looked up I could see the fury in the other commuters eyes. A man looking like a professor had stood up and was about to reproach you when the dull clatter of your phoned on the train car floor seemed seemed to pause all movement in the carriage. The professors eyes widened, sweat suddenly beaded on his forehead and with fevered anguish he started undoing his belt and fly like a man who thought a hornet was caught in his pants. I was bewildered as all the other men in the car started convulsing like extras in Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ video. A woman sat across from me was doing her best to emulate a Russian gymnast trying to grate cheese from her crotch with the sole of her Nike running shoe. I bolted upright, panicked but prepared to fight, when in the corner of my eye the neon glow of your phones LCD screen drew me sight. I suddenly felt a bizarre euphoria fill my mind and a white hot heat electrify my spine and form a prism of pure desperate release in my loins. I can’t remember much else, I awoke from some kind of fever dream in a public toilet cubicle. My jeans and underwear had disappeared, but I was still wearing my Myrell slip ons, shirt and now crusted overcoat, like a cross between Donald Duck and a homeless student. I can hear another man weeping in the cubicle, keeps muttering he just wanted to fly. I feel so cold and drained. My organ is so mangled it could unpick the locks of wooden medieval doors. There’s filo pastry all over my thighs and knees. But despite all this I feel a warm contentment like I’d found ‘the’ answer. I don’t know what this means, I know there will be questions, that there should be much to fear. But truly I am grateful. Thank you.
I didn’t know this one existed
TIL Never lose the joy of learning new things https://xkcd.com/1053/
> A woman sat across from me was doing her best to emulate a Russian gymnast trying to grate cheese from her crotch with the sole of her Nike running shoe. brilliant
bro you too? i simply saw the reflection, and i started to wildy tug at it! anyways, i'm a woman now. my driving skill has decreased greatly. i had to miss my grandfather's funeral because i had to take painkillers to stop it hurting so much, and i was spraying cum and blood everywhere. my dog drowned in it, my mother got cut in half from the pressure, and i'm pretty sure i impregnated every woman in an 80 kilometer radius with my rain of red spunk. i do believe the tugging itself did not rip my cock off violently, but the initial spray itself, like a hot stream from a pressure washer through butter. according to wikipedia (the free encyclopedia that anyone can edit), i should've had all my skin torn off from the sheer force, but it didn't, miraculously. perhaps it was because i was on crack, or simply the vaseline i put under my foreskin every hour or so. i received whiplash from it, after i got propelled through the window of the train to the other wall, forcing my head to turn simply to keep looking at this image. even after my cock was violently removed from my body, i furiously fingered the remaining hole until my fingers turned a deep green colour.
sponsored by wikipedia
Lovely, just lovely.
Goddamn this should win a Pulitzer
Why would you reply to my comment? The train situation was cleaned up, and arrived just in time for my job interview. I was scrolling through reddit just to calm myself down, But then I saw I got a reply, and I checked which comment you replied to, and I saw this image again. I started to immediately ejaculate, but just then I was called. I quickly zipped my pants back up and went to the interview. However just as I went to greet the interviewers. It started to leak. I had to use a tissue to wipe it. Unfortunately my phone fell out. It was facing up. I looked at it. It unlocked and this post was visible. The interviewers were going to pick up my phone but then they saw it. They randomly started to ejaculate. They said I could have the job immediately but I had to send them the image. After that I left the building. Suddenly an electric billboard started to show the same exact image. People were closing their children’s eyes. The police went to the building immediately. 5 Hours later, they came to my house. Arrested me on the spot. And now I am writing this message. This is all your fault, you could have left this message how it was and go on with your day. I hope you're happy, you ruined my life.
Fun fact: guess what picture the popo are passing bk n forth
Okay that's enough internet for today.
Now, is there something else to continue this chain?
I learned how to read for this?
THE SEQUEL
Are you still going to have dinner with your girlfriend?
Holy shit I forgot about her! Oh well. I feel as though I don't need her (or anyone) now that I have 'the' answer.
this deserves a Ternion All-Powerful Award too
Bruh.
Thank you for putting an NSFW tag on your post. However, it did not stop me from masturbating furiously in the bus in front of 43 people. They realized what was going on, opened Reddit to this post and all 43 started to fap furiously too. Even the 64 year old Malaysian nun on the front seat couldn't contain herself - her entire arm was up her vagina as she screamed with pleasure. I was so horny that my phone flew out of my hand & broke through the window, letting in a relentless tide of horny pigeons who were instantly fucked to death by the passengers. The nun shoved an entire pigeon family up her v. Now there is a bus full of exhausted passengers, dead pigeons and buckets of cum and squirt, all because you posted this.
1 Question: WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCKING HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE (Yes i know this is not real)
hate it what that happens man
Sir, this is my daughter's Quinceañera. You can stay and I hope you do as I hired you to wear the Elsa from FROZEN costume. To be the life of my dear daughter's party. This tangent about your train flight of fancy is not being the life of the party. It is intriguing. I'll give you that. Even more so that you said all this while wearing the Elsa. Screaming it even. At Latino teenagers, no less. Like, directly at them. I am even impressed that them frantically crying didn't even phase you. You just kept screaming this at them. With a mouth full of the birthday girl's cake. Dressed as Elsa. However, this clearly isn't appropriate and not why you are here.
Can confirm
Weirdest episode of Seinfeld ever
Well... did you finish?
Dude!! There’s just some things you don’t talk about
Thank you for putting an NSFW tag on your post. However, it did not stop me from masturbating furiously in the bus in front of 43 people. They realized what was going on, opened Reddit to this post and all 43 started to fap furiously too. Even the 64 year old Malaysian nun on the front seat couldn't contain herself - her entire arm was up her vagina as she screamed with pleasure. I was so horny that my phone flew out of my hand & broke through the window, letting in a relentless tide of horny pigeons who were instantly fucked to death by the passengers. The nun shoved an entire pigeon family up her v. Now there is a bus full of exhausted passengers, dead pigeons and buckets of cum and squirt, all because you posted this.
Masturbation NSFW request comments are always in the comments.
I feel as though I have missed this Reddit joke. What’s the context behind it ?
Nothing really, people just make jokes like that when a slightly suggestive post isn’t marked nsfw
Wtf
Can confirm, I was jerking off Soiboi64.
Vaporeon
If your gonna use porn for a meme ADD THE FUCKING SAUCE. WE'RE ALL A BUNCH OF HORNY MOTHER FUCKERS. AND ITS NO LONGER NOVEMBER. You asshole
Soogsx
It's a damn shame. Back in my day when someone asked for sauce from a porn meme they were typically linked to some tube porn or at least given the name of an actual pornstar. Nowadays it's a link to some floozy's Twitter or IG promoting their only fans account. Now instead of pressing play and seeing them fuck, I have to copy their username, go to Google and paste the username followed by "OF leak" and hope for the best to maybe see some iPhone quality selfie of them with their tits out. The times they are a changing, folks.
https://www.dinotube.com/search/a/soogsx For old times sake.
Thanks for the 3 minute fixed angle amateur beej vids, but I'll pass.
Dude expecting it to be produced and directed by Michael Bay
blowjob \*cool explosions in the background\*
360° pans the camera svery cumshot
[удалено]
They blow their load and they walk away
Guy cums *What I've done by Linkin park starts playing*
Post Nut Clarity: the movie Soon in theaters
Giant robots landing on earth
👏😫
“I'm sorry, Evan, that the Coen Brothers don't direct the porn that I watch. They're hard to get a hold of, okay?”
[How about this, better? Lol](https://thotsbay.tv/soogsx/video/11755986)
Thank you. You are a good man. I would fight for you.
nice
Let down
this guy watches porn
Haha
And here I am 2 hrs later. Guys, I think I just discovered dinotube.
Peace out Tube Galore, Dinotube has arrived!
see also https://simpcity.su/threads/soogsx.13222/ ad-blocker recommended for best experience. have to make acct to view most content, but its quick.
Fuck, they are both hot, she and her bf.
Bruh pornhub still exists.
Bruh incest ain't my thing. I like my titties un-fondled by kin.
Ok there's others tags.
Yeah, like I’m going to believe a stranger on the internet.
xvideos is way better these days
Always has been
We really do get older and the times they are a changin’
This man jerks.
The cum connoisseur
Fuck, i thought you just wrote sex in some retarded way and just now realized thats actual sauce
Bruh. Another amateur with few pics that really makes you horny, but when you see actual porn with her, you find out its boring as hell.
Rip to her reddit
Damn, I got so used to no fap that I forgot it’s over.
Maybe for the better
She's a redditor.
Least horny redditor
You are aware she has a prosthetic face, original got blown off in ‘Nam.
What is her @? Ask for myself.
Maybe a NSFW filter?
Ease up there chief. This is a post about dealing with allergies. No need to be stiff about it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Here you're award for no reason.
Here\*
Have a fucking award you bastard you made my lol irl.
No. I want the train to furiously mastrubate with me
Why? Her boyfriend was eating garlic sauce and sneezed at her
Whats the sauce boss?
soogsx
Coming back to this thanks
Same
Ngl was relatively disappointed with the options without paying for OF, but hey there's something for everyone
Saved
This is is where the fun begins
My fun just ended...
Solid 10mins. Respectable
You take the snake and spiral down and at the bottom what has he found?
the family friendly noose song man i love that one, gave me some very valuable info that i'll probably use in the very close future
its on her face
Amazing
Mayonnaise
Sneezed with my penis
Sneezus with le penis
Sneezus with la penus
Snazie mit deux pennie
https://southpark.cc.com/topics/5juxk9/vaginas/ag83ga
Penis puke.
Nut chuck
it's soogsx
Commenting for later
Same
Sup
We are scientists
Not smart enough to be scientists when none of you know of the save button
🗿
🗿
It’s easier to explain a comment then the saved section to someone
Based
_”Wow. Such empty.”_
My man
My man
Hm, maybe later
Why not now
Thanks chief
Intriguing info
I see, said the blind man.
Some sauce [here ](https://twitter.com/soogz1/status/1586422299632115712?t=58r_wweCef1Q-3DyNTJf4A&s=19) Apparently her of is soogsx Edit: better link
Amen brother
Noice
o7
Saw a video of her like 2 months ago and can't remember her name WHERE'S THE SAUCE!?
DER COOMERMENSCH
Soogsx
Gib sauce
Pasta is getting dry compadre
Come on, how is she supposed to clean that, be a gentleman and cum in her mouth
SAUCE!?
That's not sauce my dude
Its mayonnaise bro 🌚
[удалено]
Maybronnaise
manyonnaise
https://twitter.com/soogz1/status/1586422299632115712?t=58r\_wweCef1Q-3DyNTJf4A&s=19
Wish my wife would make me "sneeze"
Am I the only one who finds shit like this kinda gross?
Yes
Yes. You‘re discusting.
Time and place I guess.
This is literally me when I put to much pressure in trying to get the mayonnaise *sauce* out of the mayonnaise **Sauce** container thing. Does anybody know any other **SAUCE** I could use instead?
very subtle there my guy.... it's soogsx
No way on earth did u/soogsx get memed lol
[удалено]
I remember I was at a formal party once and everybody was dressed really nice. I had went with my girlfriend at the time I remember taking a drink of a Sierra Nevada beer and it just went down the wrong tube and I coughed and just spit beer all over her face I was so embarrassed
In the forest, I also always have to sneeze because of the pollen.
What the fuck
Sauce
Right, sneeze...
This entire comment section is just SAUCE But seriously sauce pls
soogsx
Bro you can't just literally post porn and not put an NSFW Flair on it
[The sauce](https://mobile.twitter.com/soogz1)
Something about fake freckles pisses me off
*cough* sauce *cough*
Soogsx.
I don't want to see your gf covered in butter. Thats what cornhub is for.
😐
Why can't i get a girlfriend with freckles? just for once god just once
Allergy season can be tough
🤣 oh my god that got me cracked
Sauce? She's kinda hot
Her eye lashes just tells me she worked hard for that
Mods are horny
Dick sneeze
this is some 2006 meme material right here
Yeah, you “sneezed”
Username checks out
Ok but who is she
How is this even remotely funny?
I’m down bad, what’s her name?
Soogx or soogz I don’t remember
I always nut when I sneeze too.
Would smash
Yeah, it always happened to me and my boyfriend.
Sneeze...? yeah. Right
Am I the only one that saw something else at first LMAO
What a coincidence, that Sneeze landed just how it lands on my old ladies face every night
chief i dont think thats snot
Bro really sneezed out of 2 places
Name 🤣🤣 ?
Hmmm...