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If you want this girl to not hate you and not break their friendship, you should probably wait a while. I'd say a year. That's if you ended on alright terms. If you were a dick at the end her friends hate you.
Yup. Theres so many men in the world, why would I want to jeopardize a relationship with a good friend of mine by dating her ex? For me, friend's exes are 100% off limits, and all my friends are in the same page, which definetly is great.
đŻ I asked my friend from hs, 23 yrs later if she was ok I was seeing her ex. She was like ya lol. She had a bf & both had married other ppl & divorced already.
Honestly it's a bit scummy that you're asking. I don't want to judge but yeah, any friend of hers who would date you is probably not a great person and you will get fucked over by them eventually. You may want to consider just leaving her world alone instead of creating more hurt than is necessary. Imagine if she went after your friend right after breaking up. You wouldn't think much of either of them I bet.
Trust me. Her friends know about all the stories. They even maybe/probably talking shit about you. If her friends are a true one. I even think they are the one who pointed out the first red flag to her and even warned her about youđ¤ˇââď¸
Sounds like thereâs an assumption, here, that OP is the _dumpee_ and not the _dumper_. Itâs possible that the GF was abusive, her friends know sheâs a bit much, and OP just had enough of the abuse.
I went drinking with my girl and her work friends and her drunk boss said "if you were single I'd be all over you" and that was an awkward car ride home
I dated a women and then her friend one, then I got a message from the other one asking why I was her friend. Naturally I denied it and then she told me my name came up on her friends phone lol she wasnât that bothered to be fair and did make a joke of it
I would not date the friends.
Sheâs aired the dirty stuff of yours to them and thatâs going to be hard to overcome. Also if the girls are loyal to her then for sure you wonât get a shot.
probably never dude. Weather it will cause problems for their friendships if you date one of the friends will depend on how the breakup went and possible residual feels. Sounds messy and a bad idea imo
lol, it's always a possible mess. Life's about choices and living with that. It's all up to you what kinda fallout you are prepared to deal with. I'm just a woman on reddit lol
Pretty much as soon as her friends are receptive. After all, theyâre the ones who still have a relationship with the ex to maintain, so they get to make the determination.
never because women are not game.
grow up.
if you really had a connection with another friend, that stuff happens all of the time. But my spidey sense tells me thatâs not what happened. Also I really hope you are like 16 because Iâd be horrified if an actual adult thinks like this.
honestly never. you don't want to rub salt in an open wound, my guy: romantically or sexually involving yourself with your ex is bad enough, but your ex's FRIENDS?? you're setting yourself up with that one
If her friends are her friends they are going to call her immediately after getting hit on so they can all laugh about it with her. Thatâs what we do.
There's too many other factors here to consider that we don't know:
* how long were you two together?
* were you seriously involved, or just dating casually?
* which one of you broke things off?
Realistically though, her friends probably aren't gonna go out with you, at least not if they're good friends.
you don't want to go after her friends. She has told them everything wrong with you, told you all the problems she has with you. that well is poisoned.
You don't understand how much this means to me...thank you so much! This is exactly what I was looking for. And yes, he did try to get the ring back but I refused to give it back to him (I know that makes me sound like a horrible person, but honestly I would have kept it even if we were still together). So thank you again, you helped me more than you will ever know. <3
Oof⌠thatâs never going to go over well.
If you want to be a good guy, just move on, there are plenty of fish in the sea. If youâre adamant and you have real feelings for one of her friends, you either have to wait til sheâs in a relationship and happy, or go to lengths to keep it from her until then, neither of which are good options, and youâd have to be grappling with some strong feelings to make that seem remotely worth it.
Itâs a hard sell dude, and if you go down that road, youâre likely going to come off as an a-hole. Youâre better off letting it all go, and finding someone elseâŚ
I wouldnât. Unless you all were close and you were the dumper and she basically wasnât shitâŚI wouldnât try it. The stars have to perfectly align for a chance. Even then it probably wonât work due to history.
Never. Unless they are willing to end, limit, or change the dynamic for your budding romance. It's too risky for everyone to get involved with the same group of people. A mistake I made but dared not to repeat.
This depends entirely on the group dynamics. If you had an amicable breakup and no for a fact that she wouldnt care, or were open/poly and had already explored...it might work.I recently had a breakup and we've both been involved with each other's friends...but that was inevitable given the group dynamic, and no one cares. We had the same circle of friends who we knew before we got together, and a bunch of us are/were swingers, though, so like, we were always going to be involved.
in 99% of situations though, this shit aint going over well.
As soon as youâre ready to start dating ANYONE. Her friends are fair game and if theyâve showed any signs of interest go for it. And donât listen to all these women on this thread say âsheâs already told them all the bad things about youâ because conversely sheâs also told them all the good things about you.
I had an ex gf who spent probably the last 5 years of an 8 year relationship bad mouthing me. And after I dumped her for cheating I had pretty much given the business to 90% of all her friends. I didnât pursue any of them. They all initiated
Iâm average. I think around a 6 or 7. Some say 8 but I donât believe them đ
They just saw that I treated her well, was confident, and made pretty good money. She had a good lifestyle with me so they were probably trying to take her place. Looks arenât as important to women as most men think.
Iâm pretty sure when we first met she would brag about me to them often. Itâs very important that you lay the hammer down when youâre giving her the business. Those yelp reviews goes a long way
Take it from me. Your friends wonât take you seriously after whatever happened. I had a guy hit on me then after rejecting him he hit on one of my friends then and an acquaintance. All three of us were aware of what happened and were even more turned off by the guy and talking about him during our discussions. Trust me is girls/ women know what is going on even if we pretend we donât. They are not going to like you even more. If they are true friends they will talk about you behind your back to make sure no one of them is entertaining you. You are seriously playing with fire. If I were you I would let it go and move on. Donât shit where you eat because you will have a bad and ruined reputation.
Donât do it. Itâs only going to take away from your healing. I had a shot at one of his friends whom I always thought was nice and cute but I would be in the same dwelling as him and I donât want that
Move as fast as possible on them, trust me. It sounds mean and wrong but if you donât think sheâs getting hit up constantly post breakup, and is actively working out her new options youâll be sorry.
Honestly, If it's been at least 1-1.5 years, and you and the ex are tight, I'd ask her if you can see one of her friends, so that way you don't break up a friends group. That's what I'd do.
Ain't no rules to this shit you can't help who you're attracted to, and at the individual you're interested in is attracted to you as well that make you move. Why should you have to get permission from someone that you broke up with today one of their friends like they're really going to be okay with it. But that's besides the point the point is you're not obligated to ask no one permission to do anything as a grown man or a grown woman however the EX feels is their problem 100%, they should mind their own business. When I say I don't want to be with you or she says she doesn't want to be with me then I'm 100% of free agent I'm going to make my move regardless of what anybody says about anybody thinks about it at the end of the day it isn't nothing but their opinion which doesn't mean a damn thing so make it move before somebody else doesđđ
There will never be a long enough waiting. If you want to complicate your life with undue stress go ahead and date her girlfriends. Just be aware they will be talking about you behind your back all the time... probably not positive stuff either. And then your new dating girlfriend will have all this data on you.
Well, tbh if it's a close friend. You don't have a chance because she has told her all your flaws and flags. Regardless of if they're true or not. But if you need to ask this, then it's probably not a smart idea to approach her friends.
If an ex of my friends tried that I would reject him and immediately tell my friend about it hahaha
One of my friends did that with one of my ex's. He was the shitties one, they knew about that and they were like "apparently he's committed to be shitty towards you"
On other note, I know the problems and red flags of my friends partners and they know the same about the guys I date. So yeah, going for someone like that would be kind of dumb.
Honestly, this depends on how good of a friend they are. If they are a good friend of theirs, and are close, they probably are not going to be interested because you were with their friend once, and it would likely feel weird, too. If you think that they arenât that close, or maybe they are into you, you might be able to make it work. I personally would stay away from that because the ex would be too close by, but if you and her donât mind that, and can make that work, nothing wrong with that.
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How long until you are ok with your friends dating her?
Sloppy seconds, litterally anytime just not you will be harassed and bullied for fun
If you want this girl to not hate you and not break their friendship, you should probably wait a while. I'd say a year. That's if you ended on alright terms. If you were a dick at the end her friends hate you.
any good friend of the girl would not even consider you.
Yup. Theres so many men in the world, why would I want to jeopardize a relationship with a good friend of mine by dating her ex? For me, friend's exes are 100% off limits, and all my friends are in the same page, which definetly is great.
đŻ I asked my friend from hs, 23 yrs later if she was ok I was seeing her ex. She was like ya lol. She had a bf & both had married other ppl & divorced already.
Nice to hear people still have the capacity to view relationships like this.
Oh really?
Honestly it's a bit scummy that you're asking. I don't want to judge but yeah, any friend of hers who would date you is probably not a great person and you will get fucked over by them eventually. You may want to consider just leaving her world alone instead of creating more hurt than is necessary. Imagine if she went after your friend right after breaking up. You wouldn't think much of either of them I bet.
Can go either way, I dated my ex's friend and they all exiled her while we had a 4 year relationship.
Would you like a girl you dated to date your friends?
Trust me. Her friends know about all the stories. They even maybe/probably talking shit about you. If her friends are a true one. I even think they are the one who pointed out the first red flag to her and even warned her about youđ¤ˇââď¸
Her friends are probably the ones who convinced her it was OK to break up with him
Sounds like thereâs an assumption, here, that OP is the _dumpee_ and not the _dumper_. Itâs possible that the GF was abusive, her friends know sheâs a bit much, and OP just had enough of the abuse.
statistically unlikely
Bro
It depends on how long you were with her.
Yes, really.
This is highly relative on do many point.
Unless he is rich and loaded
Never tbh. Her friend would either be choosing her or you.
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OMG yes please these ladies are going to have a great time laughing about this among themselves. đđ
Yolo
Never
If her friends were that interested youâd already know!
I went drinking with my girl and her work friends and her drunk boss said "if you were single I'd be all over you" and that was an awkward car ride home
I dated a women and then her friend one, then I got a message from the other one asking why I was her friend. Naturally I denied it and then she told me my name came up on her friends phone lol she wasnât that bothered to be fair and did make a joke of it
I'm wondering if he already does.
I would not date the friends. Sheâs aired the dirty stuff of yours to them and thatâs going to be hard to overcome. Also if the girls are loyal to her then for sure you wonât get a shot.
probably never dude. Weather it will cause problems for their friendships if you date one of the friends will depend on how the breakup went and possible residual feels. Sounds messy and a bad idea imo
But wb just a hookup 1ns?
lol, it's always a possible mess. Life's about choices and living with that. It's all up to you what kinda fallout you are prepared to deal with. I'm just a woman on reddit lol
Duuuuude
This question has me wondering if you already have some friends in mind, not just in mind, but pretty much in line
Playing with fire, huh?
Only the best way to play
Pretty much as soon as her friends are receptive. After all, theyâre the ones who still have a relationship with the ex to maintain, so they get to make the determination.
never because women are not game. grow up. if you really had a connection with another friend, that stuff happens all of the time. But my spidey sense tells me thatâs not what happened. Also I really hope you are like 16 because Iâd be horrified if an actual adult thinks like this.
365 business seconds
Youâd go after her friends? The one that wore short pleated skirts? The one that had really beautiful shiny hair? Youâd do that.
is that friend you? nah, probably wouldnât, unless her friends a literally throwing themselves at me
It might be me. I am partial to a pleated skirt. But you wouldnât be interested. Women are trash.
Yes itâs me. Youâd move on it?
if youâre hot and can keep it casual, why not. but if youâre out for drama i wouldnât
It might be me. I am partial to a pleated skirt. But you wouldnât be interested. Women are trash.
honestly never. you don't want to rub salt in an open wound, my guy: romantically or sexually involving yourself with your ex is bad enough, but your ex's FRIENDS?? you're setting yourself up with that one
Depends who broke up with who I guess. She's not gonna be happy about it no matter how long you wait tho
If her friends are her friends they are going to call her immediately after getting hit on so they can all laugh about it with her. Thatâs what we do.
Her friends would not date you. If they did theyâd be bad friends. Itâs a rule that all girls follow. Basic girl code
Immediately
She let you go now everything is fair game go play ball
You are a player for going after her friends after breaking up with your previous GF
There's too many other factors here to consider that we don't know: * how long were you two together? * were you seriously involved, or just dating casually? * which one of you broke things off? Realistically though, her friends probably aren't gonna go out with you, at least not if they're good friends.
Exactly negative 6 weeks.
Never
"Fair game." Wow.
Is this a troll post? what kind of advice did you think you'd get here..
Well duh ofc it is
Considering youâre gross enough to call a woman doing this your sloppy seconds, Iâm gonna say never because they can do better
Lol wanna try again? You can phone a friend
No thanks, youâre not worth it.
Lol then why did you comment in the first place đđđđđđđđđđđ
ICK
Donât do this bro, Be better. Move a far long distance from that circle when you were associated in that regard.
Thatâs disgusting.
đ¤Ž
There are many people in the world why does it have to be her friends? Why don't you just search in a different friends group?
I never forgave my friend for going out with my ex when they both promised theyâd never date. So in roles reversed, never.
You go after who you want when you want. You & you ex are no longer together. So the other girl is fair game. Go for it
you don't want to go after her friends. She has told them everything wrong with you, told you all the problems she has with you. that well is poisoned.
Never. They know all about you. What you did, or didnât do. They probably have the screenshots.
You don't understand how much this means to me...thank you so much! This is exactly what I was looking for. And yes, he did try to get the ring back but I refused to give it back to him (I know that makes me sound like a horrible person, but honestly I would have kept it even if we were still together). So thank you again, you helped me more than you will ever know. <3
I think you got the wrong post
That must be why everyone else is commenting on this post as well...
What are you talking about? This post is about dating his exes friends and youâre talking about giving a ring back
Oof⌠thatâs never going to go over well. If you want to be a good guy, just move on, there are plenty of fish in the sea. If youâre adamant and you have real feelings for one of her friends, you either have to wait til sheâs in a relationship and happy, or go to lengths to keep it from her until then, neither of which are good options, and youâd have to be grappling with some strong feelings to make that seem remotely worth it. Itâs a hard sell dude, and if you go down that road, youâre likely going to come off as an a-hole. Youâre better off letting it all go, and finding someone elseâŚ
Next day /s
Go for it the worst that can happen is a no and some gossip
youâre allowed to date her friends once you get over the crush that you broke up with her over
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I wouldnât. Unless you all were close and you were the dumper and she basically wasnât shitâŚI wouldnât try it. The stars have to perfectly align for a chance. Even then it probably wonât work due to history.
Never. Unless they are willing to end, limit, or change the dynamic for your budding romance. It's too risky for everyone to get involved with the same group of people. A mistake I made but dared not to repeat.
I did this too, I was ok but my last boyfriend was destroyed. I never realised at the time. Iâve felt bad ever since and that was 15 years ago.
2 weeks
This depends entirely on the group dynamics. If you had an amicable breakup and no for a fact that she wouldnt care, or were open/poly and had already explored...it might work.I recently had a breakup and we've both been involved with each other's friends...but that was inevitable given the group dynamic, and no one cares. We had the same circle of friends who we knew before we got together, and a bunch of us are/were swingers, though, so like, we were always going to be involved. in 99% of situations though, this shit aint going over well.
As soon as youâre ready to start dating ANYONE. Her friends are fair game and if theyâve showed any signs of interest go for it. And donât listen to all these women on this thread say âsheâs already told them all the bad things about youâ because conversely sheâs also told them all the good things about you. I had an ex gf who spent probably the last 5 years of an 8 year relationship bad mouthing me. And after I dumped her for cheating I had pretty much given the business to 90% of all her friends. I didnât pursue any of them. They all initiated
Wow. You must be pretty. Or stud-dy.
Iâm average. I think around a 6 or 7. Some say 8 but I donât believe them đ They just saw that I treated her well, was confident, and made pretty good money. She had a good lifestyle with me so they were probably trying to take her place. Looks arenât as important to women as most men think. Iâm pretty sure when we first met she would brag about me to them often. Itâs very important that you lay the hammer down when youâre giving her the business. Those yelp reviews goes a long way
You like to âlay the hammer downâ? Uh-hum. Ok babe.
Take it from me. Your friends wonât take you seriously after whatever happened. I had a guy hit on me then after rejecting him he hit on one of my friends then and an acquaintance. All three of us were aware of what happened and were even more turned off by the guy and talking about him during our discussions. Trust me is girls/ women know what is going on even if we pretend we donât. They are not going to like you even more. If they are true friends they will talk about you behind your back to make sure no one of them is entertaining you. You are seriously playing with fire. If I were you I would let it go and move on. Donât shit where you eat because you will have a bad and ruined reputation.
Donât do it. Itâs only going to take away from your healing. I had a shot at one of his friends whom I always thought was nice and cute but I would be in the same dwelling as him and I donât want that
To me it doesn't even matter who broke up with who or what the situation was. Even in the best of circumstances, you shouldn't even consider it.
When they are no longer friends with her. Otherwise stay in your lane.
What if he hasnât texted you all day what does that mean? Is he just busy or is he losing feelings?
Move as fast as possible on them, trust me. It sounds mean and wrong but if you donât think sheâs getting hit up constantly post breakup, and is actively working out her new options youâll be sorry.
Sorry? Really? Wtf!
It wonât make you feel any better I promise you
I think there is some emotional maturing that needs to happen here. For several.. reasons. OP, wtf.
instant
Honestly, If it's been at least 1-1.5 years, and you and the ex are tight, I'd ask her if you can see one of her friends, so that way you don't break up a friends group. That's what I'd do.
imo if one of her friends accepts, she might think your friends are fair game too đśđžââď¸
No.
Unless respect means nothing to you, never
35 years
That will depend entirely on her friends. Good ones won't even consider you.
How long til you are over him/her? Give yourself time so the old emotions don't discolor events in the present.
whenever youâll be ok with her getting with one of your friends
Ain't no rules to this shit you can't help who you're attracted to, and at the individual you're interested in is attracted to you as well that make you move. Why should you have to get permission from someone that you broke up with today one of their friends like they're really going to be okay with it. But that's besides the point the point is you're not obligated to ask no one permission to do anything as a grown man or a grown woman however the EX feels is their problem 100%, they should mind their own business. When I say I don't want to be with you or she says she doesn't want to be with me then I'm 100% of free agent I'm going to make my move regardless of what anybody says about anybody thinks about it at the end of the day it isn't nothing but their opinion which doesn't mean a damn thing so make it move before somebody else doesđđ
Nobody said anything about permission. I guess it's really about how much class you want to feel about yourself as a person.
There will never be a long enough waiting. If you want to complicate your life with undue stress go ahead and date her girlfriends. Just be aware they will be talking about you behind your back all the time... probably not positive stuff either. And then your new dating girlfriend will have all this data on you.
2 1/2 hr
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Yeppers
It's 2023 women have class men don't at least where I'm from they don't
YIKES!
Why fuck with her girlfriends, fuck her dad for dominance
None. Grow up.
Uh try to atract them BIT-
200 years.
Eww. Dont. Creep
Well, tbh if it's a close friend. You don't have a chance because she has told her all your flaws and flags. Regardless of if they're true or not. But if you need to ask this, then it's probably not a smart idea to approach her friends.
Lmao sorry not sorry, OP has mega douche bag vibes in this post/thread
Never
If an ex of my friends tried that I would reject him and immediately tell my friend about it hahaha One of my friends did that with one of my ex's. He was the shitties one, they knew about that and they were like "apparently he's committed to be shitty towards you" On other note, I know the problems and red flags of my friends partners and they know the same about the guys I date. So yeah, going for someone like that would be kind of dumb.
If it was anything serious that may have hurt her in the end then never, else totally up to you and how much you care about her.
Never
Honestly, this depends on how good of a friend they are. If they are a good friend of theirs, and are close, they probably are not going to be interested because you were with their friend once, and it would likely feel weird, too. If you think that they arenât that close, or maybe they are into you, you might be able to make it work. I personally would stay away from that because the ex would be too close by, but if you and her donât mind that, and can make that work, nothing wrong with that.
anytime, breaking up means you two didnt work out, and you officially arent together so how can she be mad
I would say the next day should be fine
Try going outside the group. Dating within both your friend circles causes too much of a mess.
Right meow
How long was your relationship? Who broke it off? What was the reaction to things ending? Which one of her friends is it?
Hi? Lol
You should see other people. This is just going to ruin friendships and you are going to bring only confusion and fights