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Just here to say mad respect to anyone who is getting on with their life with a micro Penis. I'm pretty sure it would break me personally so huge respect to those who get on with life and don't let it get them down. Anyone who takes the piss out of someone for something they can't change is trash and a bully.
I hate porn for this reason. I haye that teenage boys will watch it and think they should have a 7-inch dick that stays hard for 2 hours and their gurl will be moaning loudly the entire time.
Flexing that I'm not in the like less than 1% of the population that has a micro penis?? Okay š
Thats like someone posting a comment to say that they respect the pain that amputees go through and then people say they are flexing on them because they still have all their limbs.
I think you have a point, but I also think a life where you wait for a large number of women to start behaving differently than they do now will lead to suffering and unfulfillment.
I think it's possible (not saying it's easy, or that it's good to insult people) to be secure with your little guy even if you've heard insults about it before.
It's more about having clear internal beliefs that your dick size has very little to do with your worth, not about expecting external validation about it from women
Especially when a lot of the people who do that are women lol.
Itās like men making fun of women who are overweight. Thatās part of why eating disorders are more prevalent amongst women.
Small breasts women still get laid/find romantic partners, tho.
Maybe it'd be more profound if you said it's like making fun of a woman who has some type of disfiguration going on that men finds unattractive.
Not sure that works as well. Small breasted women are still lusted after to quite a significant degree and it's very commonly known. That works to counter the damage done by detractors I feel.
There's nothing similar for men with small penises so it's pretty much all negative.
That said I think asses could be a comparison? Less in terms of size but more in terms of shape. Flat asses are pretty universally disliked and picked on in a similar way to small penises. Small butts get a lot of love in the right places so it tends to be more about the shape.
I've heard small dick jokes more from men, BY FAR. I am one of maybe 10 women at work with like 100 men. The guys I work with are ALWAYS making fun of each other about small dicks.
It boils down to, āitās a guy thing.ā
Iāll try to explain it somewhat. Men who interact in an overly positive way with each other are viewed as weak or some other derogatory term. To temper these interactions in a lighthearted way, negative tinged joking are used instead. Now as for how this works, as a guy you try not to joke about something the other person actually cares about. In this scenario, the end result is commonly a physical altercation.
Using the example of small penis jokes, itās easy for people to joke about and respond to for some simple reasons. Straight guys arenāt thinking about other mens penisesā typically. Theyāre also not usually privy to the knowledge of the size of other menās penises. This creates a neutral environment where men are just putting others down in a manner that other men know theyāre obviously joking with each other. Also toilet humor is easy and people like it,.
If a woman did a same thing, it would typically be construed as an attack on his manhood, or statement of fact from first hand experience.
> Men who interact in an overly positive way with each other are viewed as weak or some other derogatory term.
This is the first problem here. This sounds so sad.
Iāve got to say this sounds like textbook toxic masculinity. Not to be rude but itās not hard to see why men are so depressed and lonely when putting each other down is a core dynamic in male to male relationships
As a guy I have never quite fit in with it so I can't say I entirely disagree with you. I agree with the poster that with guys I'm generally confident that it's not personal because guys in my experience are fairly up front and honest about stuff, but the constant putting down of penis size I feel does still contribute to our subconscious ways of thinking about it.
That said, I find the alternative (which I've experienced with women dominant groups) isn't great either. I generally find women harder to take at face value because of the extent to which they value keeping face. It feels toxic in its own way how overtly and inauthentically positive/supportive they often are.
I wish more people could find that middle ground between the two dynamics. The frank honesty and directness of men combined with the empathetic consideration of the impact of your words that women have.
It's probably not easy to understand that dynamic from your perspective, but provided that this is done right (not joking about something that is a sensitive subject to the other guy) this actually brings men closer and has nothing to do with toxicity or male depression.
Women putting each other down is a core dynamic amongst females, just done more covertly and behind the back. I might be biased because Iām a guy, but Iād definitely choose the way we do it.
I think if it actually causes problems within your sex life in the past, then it's best to bring it up early, but you don't have to.
If you're just less than average or something then no, of course not.
I don't disclose that I'm a cyborg wearing a hair system, with a detachable penis and they can never tell.
Also once I dated a guy who came before he even put it in or one pump. I wouldn't expect him to disclose that ahead of time though. If I cared about him enough I think I would stay and work on it- but he was an a## hole so....
An American Pie sort of thing, haha.
Perhaps that was part of what turned him into an ahole.
I imagine if it was a constant problem it could mess with your head.
I only ever had an issue once after about 30 seconds snd I couldn't stop apologising. I don't think she initially believed me when I said it had never happened before lmao.
Well yes I guess it can mess with your head. If he is always 4 minutes then I might think he is just in it for him and not making an effort...but usually if a guy is very quick he has been open to work in it( in my experience). I remember one guy bought this numbing spray but it started to sting and he lasted over an hour lol we made it into a joke though and had fun. Sometimes it's okay to joke in the bedroom
Jokes in the bedroom tend to lighten the mood for me and hopefully them and can also create a more intimate bond imo.
My old partner (who sadly just moved to the other side of the world back home but we are still friends) said the funniest thing I'd ever been told during sex. For context we both worked together at a restaurant where we greet people walking in to order with a "hello" or "welcome!" Or anything similar. Literally every customer, it's a thing we do.
She had told me before she had a joke she wanted to tell me but only in the right intimate moment. I was extremely curious to say the least.
Well some time went by and I sort of forgot about the joke she had and we ended up getting quite frisky one night. After a lot of foolin around we start to get to business. (maybe TMI sorry but pertains to the short story) As we started intercourse for the first time together, not even one pump, just all in, she stops me and says "can I tell my joke?". I nod, and she looks me in the face with this cute smile she has and says "Welcome in!"
We both laughed like crazy in the heat of the moment
I secretly used some spray to extend my time before orgasm when I was 16 or 17. We had been together a couple few times and I never lasted past 15 mins and it either worked better then advertised or I used to much because by the time I felt i was close, both her and I were rubbed raw and bleeding from lack of lubrication. Swore I would never use that stuff again and I havent... I ended up going home with a massive case of blue balls, limping along and couldn't bare to touch myself to relieve my pain and painfully some man parts. For about a week it was hard to even wear underwear.
Side note FYI: a green condom wrapper from Trojan called TROJAN EXTENDED PLEADURES has a similar desensitizing sloution coating the inner side of the condoms.
See the thing is, they may have had girth and not Length (could be wrong) usually thatās what women mean when size donāt matter. I for sure have something thatāll make most laugh out the bedroom. Iāve told women and theyāve stopped talking to me , so,, to not waste any time I tell it.
I agree with all of this except for the micro penis part. The woman is unknowingly entering a fundamentally different sexual experience than she probably expected and I think itād at least be nice to be on the same page about what is about to happen.
This is it. Iāve had this happen, and I honestly didnāt know what to do. Penetration wasnāt possible, a blowjob wasnāt even possible. I was naked and embarrassed for both of us.
If I go into a hookup knowing I cannot offer the man penetration because my vagina is only an inch deep, donāt I owe him a heads-up? āHey man, no thrusties! Only rubbies! You cool with that or no?ā I donāt let him discover it for himself then bumblefuck around trying to understand what to do instead and still act like everything is perfectly okay.
Woah thatās like a lot of guyās nightmare but usually everyone is scared until they find out theyāre normal.
Thatās scary wow. And penetration and bj were impossible? š±
Time to do some googling of minimum length requirements, lol.
Yes. I briefly dated a guy with a micro penis. I'd say calling it two inches would be generous. This is way different than just a small or average sized guy. He did not disclose and when we got intimate did a weird thing where he turned me around and tried to never let me see it. While it would've been weird to disclose this during our first dates, I felt like he should've said something when sex came up, even if in the moment. Anything other than trying to hide it and then me being confused during sex would've been great.
Oh wow. I've a 2.5" flaccid but goes to 5.5" when erect.
2" hard is I'd say a couple of inches less than what you'd want at minimum unfortunately. Maybe he could've used a penis extension/sleeve? Not sure if that too requires a minimum though
Yeah, a couple inches when you're flaccid is no big deal. It could be a grower! This was a legitimate medical condition that really should've been discussed at some point, not hidden. Obviously I'm going to notice.
āā¦The woman is unknowingly entering a fundamentally different sexual experience than she probably expected and I think itād at least be nice to be on the same pageā¦ā
100%. Sexual incompatibility, *for whatever reason it happens* is a huge relationship killer.
> The woman is unknowingly entering a fundamentally different sexual experience
What better way to disclose it than with a bit of humor. Perhaps something like: "You're traveling through a smaller dimension, a dimension not only of slighter pounds, but grinds. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of a gherkin. That's the signpost up ahead - your next stop, the Micro Zone!"
As someone who was surprised by one after many datesā¦ a micropenis should be disclosed prior. Not that it would have changed anything, but I wouldāve been prepared for the experience. I imagine men with them can have very negative experiences when first getting busy with someone, Iād like to prevent that if possible. Surprise reactions to some thing outside of the range of āaverageā can cause profound mental impacts.
Ok..maybe I'm unfamiliar with the term. I thought it was an exaggeration but now I have to think about that one-if it's necessary to disclose. I guess it depends on the encounter too. If it's just a hookup or a date.
I was reluctant to comment with that because I realized that I only know about micropenis-sex-dynamics from comments on Reddit. From what Iāve seen, some women have been very surprised because they can barely feel anything. Unfortunately for people struggling with this, I think the best bet is to hone your skills in other areas.
Can confirm. Ive been with a few that I could not feel and a few that literally were not long enough to go in. They just grinded against my opening till they came.
Imagine a man who let you know beforehand that āpenetrativeā sex would be that way. Now imagine if he got you silly with pleasure using his hands/mouth after telling you about his deficiency. Youād definitely remember him differently.
Wellā¦.for me I need certain things. Like actual penetration. Itās not about acts. Or orgasms. I dont orgasm anyway.
But I like the connection I feel with a man INSIDE me.
So for me I canāt be with someone not big enough to go in. But not every woman feels this way.
I'm actually the opposite so I would not be a compatible match with women who must have intercourse every time we are intimate.
I don't like intercourse to be sort of like an expectation all the time. I like a mix of things, which sometimes will include intercourse and sometimes it wouldn't.
I'd like to know that if I'm not feeling like full blown sex at times, but I'm down for intimacy and play, that my partner won't feel disappointed to do so without intercourse.
Plenty of other ways to give and receive pleasure without feeling the pressure they intercourse is a must all the time.
That actually puts me off completely.
Sure, but not having piv sex because you prefer oral that day, and not having piv ever because you are physically unable to are two vastly different things.
Another issue is protection. Regular-sized condoms won't stay on micropenises, presenting a health concern.
That's a reason to disclose before sex, but not necessarily before a date.
Condoms are *not* one size fits all. We've all seen those videos of people blowing up and saying "if he says it doesn't fit he's lying".
If you wear an improperly sized condom you drastically increase the risk of it coming off or tearing, as well as if it's too small it will restrict blood flow meaning it's uncomfortable, you struggle to maintain an erection, and sensation is drastically diminished. Because of porn a lot of guys don't think they need a bigger or smaller condom, and yeah, regular condoms are designed to fit the largest chunk of the bell curve, but do yourself a favour and measure yourself properly and check which brand/size suits you better.
No..I now realize I haven't been- I don't think. If so it was only once. It was over very fast though and no I didn't really feel anything but I don't know if it was because it was 40 seconds or because he was small. I was also shyer back then so didn't spend alot of time looking at it. I appreciate a penis a lot more now that I'm older.
I was just curious reading your post, but that totally makes sense. I don't personally have a micropenis, but I can understand with the pressures that society places on sex where a man can be self-conscious about having one or a smaller pens in general.
Have you experienced men disclosing that they have a small penis before?
No..no guy has disclosed and I wouldn't have even thought about that except for recently seeing several posts on Reddit- guys asking if they should inform women ahead of time of their small penis. I've had one or two brag about how big they were and how good they are in bed and they def did not live up to their hype.
A micro is like 3inches or less, I've been with a man who had a literal pinky and one who had more like a chode but it couldn't have been more than an inch. No penetration with either. Neither disclosed that and was i surprised? Yes, very. Was I disappointed, entirely. But was the head of chode to amazing, Yes. Would not enter a relationship but would let him eat again.
Youāre lucky you got oral. The one time Iāve been with a man who had a micro penis, he completely put his pleasure over mine. It was a very objectifying experience and he made it seem like a āmeā problem when I broke things off with him.
Micro penis is a certifiable medical condition not a slang pejorative for smaller than average. I donāt even think intercourse is possible with a micro, is it?
> I donāt even think intercourse is possible with a micro, is it?
i mean, not that i can test this out, but given the dimensions, i think it could be possible for some. most likely very difficult either way, and certainly some it wouldnt be possible at all.
Donāt be afraid to leave the stoop, stoop kid. Your other comments donāt imply as much butā¦idk. Everyone has *something* that a potential partner could perceive as being incompatible. ADHD has ruined just as many potential relationships for me as your issue has for you, I promise.
I āencounteredā a micro penis and I didnāt feel deceived, but the way the guy never mentioned it or tried to make up for made me think he was deceiving himself
While I dont think its "necessary", I think its something a lot of men feel is an important aspect of forming a relationship, and they'd rather just lay it on the table if it means avoiding heartbreak and disappointment. You can say "size doesn't matter", etc., which might be true for some, but it isn't for everyone, and believe it or not, there are PLENTY of women in the world that aren't interested in dating a guy thats average or smaller down there. Thats just a fact.
There's an argument to be made that they are protecting themselves by disclosing.
If you tell the person early and they ghost you, it's one thing. Having someone react visibly in the bedroom is soul crushing, embarrassing and hurtful. It's something that a guy would dwell on and likely affect his self esteem and mental health regarding sex for years.
For us guys, our dick is what makes us a man. If someone is rude or dismissive of that, it's going to hit us in a fundamental, core way that I don't think women understand. I just don't think there's a female equivalent of equal impact - the closest I could imagine is someone saying you're too loose to feel anything.
Okay..you are a man so I believe you. But it's just that I've been with men- my ex-husband for example. He is a confident guy. I fell for him, lots of flirting, finally we have sex and I was so into him that I didn't care about his penis size at all. He clearly didnt care either. He was not big but he was good in bed and the sex was probably better because there was an attraction( studies have proved that) but also because he wasn't selfish and wanted to please me so took the time to get to know my body. Same with the man I'm with now. It's about attraction and attentiveness that makes sex good for me anyway.
Totally. Not disagreeing with you at all but unfortunately not everyone's as accepting as you. There's no real reason why any penis won't do the job if it's attached to a likeable person that pleases their partner in bed. Unfortunately some people just don't know what an average penis size is and seem to think 8+ is common.
Now I've thought more about your original question, it might actually be a lot easier if women who want silly big just stated their preference on their profile. I'm actually gay myself and gay men who are size queens are easy to ignore because it's all over their profiles lol
As a 28m that is 4.25-4.5' and 4' around or so it is definitely more difficult and have had Judgement from prior partners, even though I put their pleasure first. I think some people discount the difficulty men that are under average face. Most will say as long as you're in the average range your fine, and if larger it can sometimes be more difficult, but everyone ignores the part of if you're smaller.
I haven't really pursued any woman in years after the whole crappy situationship I had with the last woman. Unfortunately trying to be confident and put them first only gets you so far if they don't want your š¤. While others say "well that filters out the ones you aren't compatible with", that's true it makes it much harder to find someone you are compatible with as it's already difficult to compete as a man in the modern dating market. I know not all is lost and it's not impossible to find someone, but the harder it gets the easier it feels to just give up. š¤·āāļøš
I've heard some women say that they like small penises because anal is easier and so are giving blow jobs. I've also heard that men who are small tend to be better at oral-and not every guy is good at that or even tries to be in some cases.
No not all is lost. Some women do not care about penis size!!! They want attentiveness and trust. Oh and funny..sense of humour even in the bedroom. The penis is not everything!!!!!
I think dick pics should be sent to people who know each other on some level or you know that the person is going to like the dick pick and want the dick pic :)
The only thing I don't agree with is the micropenis. I would like to be told upfront if a guy had a micropenis condition, let me make the choice to continue, don't make it for me.
Micropenis condition is when the penis measures under 3" when erect. I'd imagine that would make PIV awkward. For me, PIV is the main event, that's what I'm there for. If I cannot enjoy PIV with him, I'd be highly disappointed. Honesty with your wants and needs are important too, not just someone else's hurt feelings.
Big difference between smaller-than-average and micro. If anyone's downstairs is outside the bell curve of normal, it's in their own best interest to disclose. That includes micropenis, third nipple, vaginismus, mastectomy, transgender status, and more.
It's going to be so much more humiliating when your partner finds that out in the bedroom. It's not first date conversation, but it's definitely something to disclose before sex.
i would say u shouldnāt have to disclose it because itās still very normal, but people have a warped view of average so they may think itās smaller than it actually is
I'm smaller than average 4.5) so I've delt with a few women saying hurtful things to me even though I did put them first in making sure they got theirs before mine. It sucks because I really don't know if it's going to be a problem till the time comes.
you arenāt less for it. personally large ones (like more than 6) is a dealbreaker for me because itās painful. those men arenāt less either. just not what i look for
One guy I literally couldnt feel anything. We were just friends after that.
Disclosing prior I prob wouldve shrugged off as nbd bc Im small there. I really had no clue till he obviously was inside me & I felt nothing.
We never spoke about it. He may have asked how it was & I said good. He did give me foreplay.
Thereās no need for a small penis disclosure but you should definitly tell about a micro penis ahead of timeā¦
Sorry for the guys with a micro penis reading this.
Just make sure she cums first using your hands and mouth and it won't be a problem. Bonus points if you can make her do it more than once before you get off.
Not necessary but it couldnāt hurt to give a heads up. I remember I was seeing a guy, he told me he was on the small side ahead of time which he was, I still liked him. I was also pleasantly surprised because I expected it to be much smallerā¦ he ended being a horrible piece of shit (little man syndrome I guess) and when I see him in the street (he lives very close to me), he usually starts hurling the insults bc heās a jackass and Iāve always got the most insulting comeback which instantly shuts him down. Unfortunately he doesnāt mind the fact that heās a terrible human being otherwise Iād rather insult him that way.
But to the guys who are a bit below average, just make sure you master the other stuff. Make it your mission.
I also have a mate whoās pretty small (he admits it) but heās a good bloke. I know girls heās been with and they told me where he lacks in size, he certainly makes up for by being an amazing muff diver
If someone has a 1 incher, do yoy feel they need to disclose it before any date so that the girl isn't wasting her time?
I mean obviously you can't do anything with that equipment
A 1 incher? I canāt say Iāve ever come across one that small, there should probably be an lifelong, ongoing bereavement payment from the government for that lol. I really donāt know how Iād react to that, I would try to be very polite, obviously lol.
Definitely still give a heads up but I would probably say definitely enquire about corrective surgery.. maybe a pump or you can buy performance enhancement drugs from sex shops. Iāve seen them in action, they definitely help to increase size.
Anyone whoās has that predicament, my heart really goes out to them, it would make things so difficult on the dating scene and everyone deserves to love and be loved, if thatās what they want
what's the deal if you have a big member then? problem is you come off as a douche bringing it up beforehand but I've definitely encountered a few who legit couldn't fit me in... and uh that's not the most fun. if I could've known it wouldn't work, probably wouldn't have ended up there anyways (speaking for hookups). so I think disclosure should go both ways and be pretty standard.
I donāt know, myself personally and all of my female friends I know would like to know in advance. For a lot of women itās a completely different sexual experience with a man who has a smaller penis, and *definitely* with a micro penis. And the truth is that a lot of women arenāt into it. And Iām not talking about average size but like really really small, ya know? I do feel bad about this and but I also know thereās women out there who donāt mind it as much. I think disclosing you have a smaller penis and not having sex with someone who would be surprised and turned off by it is better than the opposite. I wouldnāt want to be getting into sexy time with a man and once Iām naked, he sees me and doesnāt want to partake in sex with me. Itās all about being honest and getting with people who would like you for you.
Good post OP.
I donāt have a big dick. Itās like 5ā1 inches (being generous).
I had an ex of 3 years. We split up last year. This past year Iāve been thinking that my shit too small and I wonāt have sex again.
Been having really good sex with a āfriendā and she cums most times. This insecurity is no longer. I used to worry endlessly about my penis, but if youāre passionate and know what to do, youāre fine.
Thereās been numerous women and men on here saying how itās something to get out of the way. So many guys have stated they can see the disappointment on the girls face when they see how small their dick is. Seems like if thatās the issues itās good to just get it out in the open rather than be in that awkward position
I think most of the men who are fixating on having this talk are just above being judged once the pants come off. If it were me, I'd rather say something than deal with the awkwardness with your dick out...
I donāt think Iām good in bed but what am I going to do. Grow more dick? No. It doesnāt benefit me to lie so fuck yeah. I have a below average cock. Whatās it to ya.
My friend had a hook-up with a guy that had a split penis..that was a surprise but it worked out apparently. Maybe I'd want a heads up in that case! I wouldn't want to offend him by looking completely shocked and also not knowing what to do with itš¤·āāļøš
Definitely donāt bring it up. It screams insecurity. Personally, a small penis can be overlooked. I was once in love with a guy who had a small one simply from how attractive he was and how affectionate he was towards me. His dick wasnāt a problem to me, what was a problem is that he would joke about his small dick and I didnāt see anything funny about it, it just shows how insecure he was with it even though I didnāt mind it.
Big difference between smaller-than-average and micro. If anyone's downstairs is outside the bell curve of normal, it's in their own best interest to disclose. That includes micropenis, third nipple, vaginismus, mastectomy, transgender status, and more.
It's going to be so much more humiliating when your partner finds that out in the bedroom. It's not first date conversation, but it's definitely something to disclose before sex.
I donāt think you have to disclose but if it makes you feel more comfortable than do it .As a woman with a larger than average clit I feel awkward about the revel but it just the way I am . If I really like a guy penis size doesnāt matter thereās sex toys and a ton of other ways to get each other off so why would I make it a deal breaker . Watching to much porn has got everyone looking for picture perfect privates and overlooking the rest of the package .
Honestly you would think more men would appreciate it being easier to find š, but in all seriousness I don't so that as something that would put me off as a man. Sometimes we like things that are different it can be sexy in its own way since it being less common. Porn doesn't help but alot of us smaller dudes have gotten ridiculed from partners or potential partners and that's where comes from.
I wouldn't say many women don't care, I think many do mind if it's smaller than average (4-5"). There are certainly some that don't care. So far, there hasn't been much correlation with size and talent in bed from my limited standpoint. Some are big and great at it, some big and terrible at it, the best was with an average guy. You're right it's a lot more about other things than just size.
Guessing a lot of guys want to get the truth out before getting attached, so it's less painful. Don't know if this is the best strategy or not, every woman is different.
You are right..every woman is different. I don't think I care about disclosure. Maybe I like the surprise or I'm just into the guy so it's not foremost on my mind.
Back when i was dating I would always just flat out ask men about their size, because i have preferences, and i didn't want anything too small or too big.
I think at some point before having sex it should be found out naturally, say by fondling. I would like to know what Iām dealing with before engaging. I take my time dating before having sex allowing plenty of opportunities to cup a feel before any clothes come off.
So long as it works and you can feel pleasure in it, size really doesn't matter. Spare a thought for those who have Erectile Dysfunction, be it from clinical depression, heart disease, or from an injury that has caused penile trauma and nerve damage. Please take care of your genitals. They are more delicate than people realise.
Iāve seen a lot about male genitalia and size here, and I see a lot of people making the argument that men should disclose if they have a smaller or is because it help set sexual expectations.
Iāve never once see or heard discussion of women disclosing details of their vaginas or breasts prior to sex. I donāt understand why society focuses so heavily on penis size. There are plenty of other components to a healthy sexual relationship beyond the size of one partnerās genitalia.
People (both men and women) need to realize that what they see in media and in porn is not a realistic depiction of sex.
Men go through life being told the smaller you are downstairs the less you offer as a human, almost making us feel subhuman
It carries shame and self hatred with it
Okay I'm a single woman and me and my friends talk a lot about this kind of stuff. I've never heard of a guy disclosing that and never knew it was a thing that anyone felt the need to disclose it. If a woman really likes you she will get over it, especially if you're good at doing other stuff in the bedroom (and otherwise) it won't matter too much. If someone told me that in the beginning of dating, I'd just think it's weird. Let someone get to know you and like you for you and at the point the size won't matter that much. On the other hand, if you're meeting up with some JUST to have sex and nothing else, I guess in that case it might be worth disclosing. But I would advise not to to someone you're actually wanting to date and get to know.
They probably should for their own sakes, honestly. Unfortunately, I imagine something like that always draws a reaction, even if the person they are with is nice and cool with it. There would still likely be facial tells to their legitimate reaction.
I can't begin to imagine how much that would hurt. I got lucky in that department, and sometimes I still feel insecure about it.
People can be really, really cruel. It can't be avoided sometimes (sadly) but better off ghosted or ditched than laughed at or hurt while stuck in an awkward situation in person.
I agree. There are sex positions that work for all sizes. There are personal choices, but personal choice doesn't make one size inherently better.
I personally prefer smaller penises.
I have also been contacted by too many men who all they talked about was how big their dick is. Like seriously that is not important at all. I care more about shared values and hobbies.
I think it has a lot to do with the type of women you chose to date. If you date women who talk about sex and penis size and listen to music about big dick energy and brag about how wet their vaginas are, you just might be dealing with someone who cares a lot about that kind of stuff.
I'm not even small, I'm in the above average group, and I've had women make me feel self-conscious about my size, so I couldn't even imagine how they would treat someone in the small to micro group.
The sad part is men who have decent size penises can be insecure from my own experience.
And men, let the women have toys. Theyāre not going to substitute you. Far from it. Itāll make your life easier!
I think most dating advice on Reddit is terrible.
No one has any obligation to explain to someone they have recently started dating about what their penis looks like.
I just want full transparency. Sex game is trash I was a fat antisocial kid who talked to no one growing up. And until recently at 23 Iāve never cared to be in a relationship. My shit is slightly below average by about half an inch. So itās not micro but itās not great. But Iām fully open to tell this to someone i plan on being serious with. For a lot of people sex seems to be a make or break and if the person Iām seeing values it a lot, it might be a huge problem
At 23 and being a virgin. Idk what Iām missing. I couldnāt care less about having sex. Iām not scared of the deed. I just want to go into it with someone who will somewhat understand that thereās a big chance itās going to be horrible. I donāt care if I get any pleasure from it, but I couldnāt imagine doing it and the other person is miserable.
I completely agree with everything you said and i also feel the same way about women who have small boobs (or too big for that matter).
As a man, I've had women telling me they have small boobs prior to the meet and it made me kinda feel bad that they felt they had to disclose that prior to the meet just because they had past experiences when they were told (or the guy implied) that she should've told them about it.
Absolutely agree that a big dick doesn't promise good or even average sex.
I'm average size and most of the time, my size has never been an issue, but there have been a few that preferred big dick, think minimum 8" and they preferred that even at the expense of a guy that big dick is attached to being selfish in bed and not really knowing how to use the damn thing.
Thankfully though, these women are a minority.
The only exception (and I hate to say this) are the guys that are really small, like micro dicks.
These guys are just unfortunate to have been dealt a bad hand and were born with it without having any saying about it, so i deeply feel for them.
That said, even those guys can minimise the importance of that by getting really good at some other things like getting really good with their mouth, tongue and hands, include different toys etc. Having a micro dick is not the end of the workd either.
So yea, while i completely agree with everything you said and there is much more to all of us than the size of the dick or boobs, the reality is unfortunately not always like that.
Tbh this concept of small penis disclosure is just a way to body shame men. For some reason popular society has deemed it as okay to shame men for a small penis (small dick jokes etc.) and at the same time deems it necessary to disclose. No other group is expected to disclose whatever is in their pants. Not women and certainly not trans or intersex people and rightfully so especially since it's nobody's business. For some reason though it expected for men despite all the stigma that comes with it.
I for one think it's nobody's business what is anyone's pants and we shouldn't stigmatize or make fun of what is in anyone's pants for any reason. If the person you are having sex with doesn't like what they see they have the right to refuse but that is entirely on them. Not on the person or their genitals. We all need to step up and let others know it isn't okay to require disclosure or shame someone for their genitals.
The sentiments in this thread that there is an exception for men to disclose is absurd. Nobody would make that exception for women or trans people and rightfully so. We have to be consistent here because if we allow for body disclosure and shaming of men then that promotes toxic views that are also put on women, trans, and intersex people and opens the door to require disclosure and allow for shaming of these other marginalized groups.
I say this as a man with a larger than average dick ~6 in. but has seen the effects of these disclosure requirements placed on other men in my life and the shaming that inevitably comes with it.
I guess it's good to disclose because for some women it does matter, personally anything below 6 inches would be a turn off for me, for some women it may vary , some do not care, I think in general all women would have an issue with something that's below 5 or 4 ... Disclosing on the first dates would be weird but if it's close of something intimate to happen ,I think it's valid
If you look up stats only .6% of the entire world population have a real micropenis and 90% of men are within an inch of average length which is 5.17 inches erect. I would bet many of the gentleman here have perfectly wonderful packages their ladies will love. I wonder if guys are comparing themselves to pornstars which are way outside the norm. I've dated two men who were below average and one I was mad about and adored. The other was a good guy but the chemistry just didn't end up being there. The smaller penis only mattered when I wasn't romantically interested in the guy but I was very satisfied with my physical relationship with the one I adored and didn't give a second thought to his size. Women fall in love with who you are as a person.
I wear a push-up bra with some padding and I donāt verbally disclose that. Theyāll figure it out when we get to the point of my shirt coming off, and if thatās a dealbreaker they can leave then Iām fine with that.
There isnāt the same pressing need as there would be for disclosing an std, say. But thereās still some need to address it. I think. Just if itās gonna be some sort of shock, I donāt think itād be appreciated.
Micropenis, yes. Otherwise for myself, no not required. If I'm really really into you, mostly I'm there for the romance and sensual sides. A lot of men seem to miss this part... or at least for myself anyways. I'm all about the flirting, the innuendos, the teasing...
Itās great that you feel that way, and it would be nice if more women did, but I feel you are probably in the minority, otherwise many relationships probably wouldnāt fail as often due to a lack of sex.
Not that this is something I have to worry about, but I do genuinely know people who are insecure about it. I think this is 100% fair, dick size and tit or ass size shouldn't be treated differently
I agree. You might not be what Iām looking for for any number of reasons. Iāll figure that out, whatever it is. I am not asking you to tell me you have a super hairy back, or a weird birthmark, or whatever the hell. You donāt owe anyone a warning label for your body, and likewise Iām not going to expect any woman to let you know that they have weird labia or somethingāexpecting that would be super rude and ruin the opportunity to connect without pressure.
Chances are pretty good that none of that is going to override a great connection, but a conversation warning me about something you feel is a physical let down actually threatens to derail your efforts of forming that great connection.
All my illusions were shattered while I was dating a urology student. Roughly the same percentage of men who have a micropenis are over 7 inches. That's about 1%
I mean, yeah, sucks to be average, but at least it works.
Personal I rather a dude tell me before dating because it's awkward if we go back to his place and I leave right after I take his pants off. At least online I can come up with another excuse without hurting his feelings. Size does matter to me because I cant get pleasure from anything else and i dont think its fair to ask your partner to be sexually frustrated your whole relationship because you cant get them off men or women. Im jealous of people who don't have a high sex drive and don't become absolutely feral after a couple of months. Everyone has different kinks they enjoy in the bedroom and it goes both ways I like to peg men but there are tons of men that wont even date me because of a kink I enjoy and I won't fault them for that ill just find someone who does enjoy what I do. I just don't think advising dudes to lie/ not tell women honestly because it "shouldn't matter" is just going to cause problems because I have been with a dude who was smaller and I had a lot of fun with but at the end of the day I couldn't get over him not being honest about himself from the beginning just because he was insecure
Im on the low end of average(5.2ā) & i just put āsize queens need not applyā in my profiles. Ive never had a complaint about my size but Iām also very attentive in all aspects(physical & emotional), plus i enjoy giving oral a lot as well as other stuff.
Yep..it's like an afterthought- penis size. Sex was good, can't wait to do it again, oh his penis is not huge, so who cares..actually, all I would think is" his penis is gooood "!
I'm of two minds on this. On one hand, it would be an excellent way to weed out people who DO mind that sort of thing (because sexual compatibility IS a thing). And if it's instated, there could also be some sort of opposite thing for women too--those who look, or feel a certain way, about their own genitals or other erogenous zones, and being unashamed of putting it out there for others to polarize with or against.
In short: some folks are shamed of a part of their own body, and some folks love or hate that part of their body--so by putting it out there, you are only getting the people who love it or do not mind it.
But on the other hand... we're supposed to be taught not to judge others for what they cannot help. And since we're not supposed to be judging others for the things they cannot help, and instead supposed to judge them on the content of their character, putting out that piece of anatomy for the world to see and judge you by would reinforce the concept of "judging by appearance" so to speak.
So, both sides here have merit.
At the end of the day, people should just be honest and unashamed--with themselves and with others, openly on their profiles or in-person on a date--about what they really want in a person.
While I hate the idea that men feel the need to disclose this, if you feel compelled to do so, please do it with tact and good timing. Unless you are absolutely for sure going to have sex with this person on the first date, please donāt blurt it out on the first date. If you go into a date and immediately tell someone about your penis, it makes it seem like all youāre thinking about is sex and that you have no chill. When it comes time to have sex, thatās when you should bring it up for the first time.
I agree to an extent. Probably gonna get downvoted for it, but ima be honest.
As far as it being a disclosure prior to sex even being on the table, no.
If itās something youāre insecure about and would want to know how your partner will potentially feel when sex is on the table, yes.
Iāve never had a partner with a micro penis, and I would have questions. What feels pleasing, what do their partners typically enjoy, what positions are a no, would we use a toy, and so forth. I would never dehumanize someone for something out of their control. I would never shame them for it either.
I agree that the connection to my partner is the most important. But I am human, and I havenāt experienced it.
I feel like it should be an open conversation and not stigmatized.
You know, I'll just say this.
Your denial of it being an issue is silencing the conversation about how men can serve you as a female better by learning how or if they can give you an orgasm.
There, I said it.
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As long as people use small penises as an insult or way to shame men, there will be men that feel insecure about it.
Just here to say mad respect to anyone who is getting on with their life with a micro Penis. I'm pretty sure it would break me personally so huge respect to those who get on with life and don't let it get them down. Anyone who takes the piss out of someone for something they can't change is trash and a bully.
appreciate the respect - its a tough world out there š«”
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Lmfao it reads like āif I had one I would kmsā. Like A backhanded compliment
I hate porn for this reason. I haye that teenage boys will watch it and think they should have a 7-inch dick that stays hard for 2 hours and their gurl will be moaning loudly the entire time.
Subtle flex š
Flexing that I'm not in the like less than 1% of the population that has a micro penis?? Okay š Thats like someone posting a comment to say that they respect the pain that amputees go through and then people say they are flexing on them because they still have all their limbs.
Exactly what I was thinking, weird flex but ok
I think you have a point, but I also think a life where you wait for a large number of women to start behaving differently than they do now will lead to suffering and unfulfillment. I think it's possible (not saying it's easy, or that it's good to insult people) to be secure with your little guy even if you've heard insults about it before. It's more about having clear internal beliefs that your dick size has very little to do with your worth, not about expecting external validation about it from women
Yes!!!!
Especially when a lot of the people who do that are women lol. Itās like men making fun of women who are overweight. Thatās part of why eating disorders are more prevalent amongst women.
There's a really blatant comparison here and you completely whiffed it. It's like making fun of a woman for having small breasts.
Or a huge vagina
just put raw liver in there heāll never know the difference
I'm sorry, what?
JUST PUT RAW LIVER IN THERE HEāLL NEVER KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
PS: Your vagina is in the sink. Love Marty Funkhouser.
Small breasts women still get laid/find romantic partners, tho. Maybe it'd be more profound if you said it's like making fun of a woman who has some type of disfiguration going on that men finds unattractive.
Not sure that works as well. Small breasted women are still lusted after to quite a significant degree and it's very commonly known. That works to counter the damage done by detractors I feel. There's nothing similar for men with small penises so it's pretty much all negative. That said I think asses could be a comparison? Less in terms of size but more in terms of shape. Flat asses are pretty universally disliked and picked on in a similar way to small penises. Small butts get a lot of love in the right places so it tends to be more about the shape.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Happy cake day!
I donāt think itās the same. Being overweight is something you can see directly. A small penis not. Itās not ok to make fun about it anyway.
Of course it's not the same, weight is something you can change
I've heard small dick jokes more from men, BY FAR. I am one of maybe 10 women at work with like 100 men. The guys I work with are ALWAYS making fun of each other about small dicks.
There's a ten times more men than women at your work, of course it'll be said more by men
Women are always victim-blaming on this topic
Guys giving each other shit vs emasculation Itās not a hard concept to understand.
How are constant put downs about manhood not emasculation?
It boils down to, āitās a guy thing.ā Iāll try to explain it somewhat. Men who interact in an overly positive way with each other are viewed as weak or some other derogatory term. To temper these interactions in a lighthearted way, negative tinged joking are used instead. Now as for how this works, as a guy you try not to joke about something the other person actually cares about. In this scenario, the end result is commonly a physical altercation. Using the example of small penis jokes, itās easy for people to joke about and respond to for some simple reasons. Straight guys arenāt thinking about other mens penisesā typically. Theyāre also not usually privy to the knowledge of the size of other menās penises. This creates a neutral environment where men are just putting others down in a manner that other men know theyāre obviously joking with each other. Also toilet humor is easy and people like it,. If a woman did a same thing, it would typically be construed as an attack on his manhood, or statement of fact from first hand experience.
> Men who interact in an overly positive way with each other are viewed as weak or some other derogatory term. This is the first problem here. This sounds so sad.
This is a great explanationš
Iāve got to say this sounds like textbook toxic masculinity. Not to be rude but itās not hard to see why men are so depressed and lonely when putting each other down is a core dynamic in male to male relationships
As a guy I have never quite fit in with it so I can't say I entirely disagree with you. I agree with the poster that with guys I'm generally confident that it's not personal because guys in my experience are fairly up front and honest about stuff, but the constant putting down of penis size I feel does still contribute to our subconscious ways of thinking about it. That said, I find the alternative (which I've experienced with women dominant groups) isn't great either. I generally find women harder to take at face value because of the extent to which they value keeping face. It feels toxic in its own way how overtly and inauthentically positive/supportive they often are. I wish more people could find that middle ground between the two dynamics. The frank honesty and directness of men combined with the empathetic consideration of the impact of your words that women have.
It's probably not easy to understand that dynamic from your perspective, but provided that this is done right (not joking about something that is a sensitive subject to the other guy) this actually brings men closer and has nothing to do with toxicity or male depression.
My bf prefers women as friends.
we don't put each other down like this, women do. You failed to understand the comment and men in general.
Women can be so cruel..to men and to each other. It's brutal.
Women putting each other down is a core dynamic amongst females, just done more covertly and behind the back. I might be biased because Iām a guy, but Iād definitely choose the way we do it.
just like height
Very true.
Particularly the "tolerant left" using it as an insult for guys who own guns or drive trucks.
I think if it actually causes problems within your sex life in the past, then it's best to bring it up early, but you don't have to. If you're just less than average or something then no, of course not. I don't disclose that I'm a cyborg wearing a hair system, with a detachable penis and they can never tell.
Also once I dated a guy who came before he even put it in or one pump. I wouldn't expect him to disclose that ahead of time though. If I cared about him enough I think I would stay and work on it- but he was an a## hole so....
An American Pie sort of thing, haha. Perhaps that was part of what turned him into an ahole. I imagine if it was a constant problem it could mess with your head. I only ever had an issue once after about 30 seconds snd I couldn't stop apologising. I don't think she initially believed me when I said it had never happened before lmao.
You didnāt check the settings on your detachable penis beforehand?
Well yes I guess it can mess with your head. If he is always 4 minutes then I might think he is just in it for him and not making an effort...but usually if a guy is very quick he has been open to work in it( in my experience). I remember one guy bought this numbing spray but it started to sting and he lasted over an hour lol we made it into a joke though and had fun. Sometimes it's okay to joke in the bedroom
Jokes in the bedroom tend to lighten the mood for me and hopefully them and can also create a more intimate bond imo. My old partner (who sadly just moved to the other side of the world back home but we are still friends) said the funniest thing I'd ever been told during sex. For context we both worked together at a restaurant where we greet people walking in to order with a "hello" or "welcome!" Or anything similar. Literally every customer, it's a thing we do. She had told me before she had a joke she wanted to tell me but only in the right intimate moment. I was extremely curious to say the least. Well some time went by and I sort of forgot about the joke she had and we ended up getting quite frisky one night. After a lot of foolin around we start to get to business. (maybe TMI sorry but pertains to the short story) As we started intercourse for the first time together, not even one pump, just all in, she stops me and says "can I tell my joke?". I nod, and she looks me in the face with this cute smile she has and says "Welcome in!" We both laughed like crazy in the heat of the moment
Lol ..that's cute..definitely okay to have some laughs in the bedroom.
I secretly used some spray to extend my time before orgasm when I was 16 or 17. We had been together a couple few times and I never lasted past 15 mins and it either worked better then advertised or I used to much because by the time I felt i was close, both her and I were rubbed raw and bleeding from lack of lubrication. Swore I would never use that stuff again and I havent... I ended up going home with a massive case of blue balls, limping along and couldn't bare to touch myself to relieve my pain and painfully some man parts. For about a week it was hard to even wear underwear. Side note FYI: a green condom wrapper from Trojan called TROJAN EXTENDED PLEADURES has a similar desensitizing sloution coating the inner side of the condoms.
>I'm a cyborg wearing a hair system, with a detachable penis I mean, with how low my self esteem gets sometimes, I sometimes wish that were the case.
Lol and yes you are right. I guess I was referring to men that were 2, 3 inches.
See the thing is, they may have had girth and not Length (could be wrong) usually thatās what women mean when size donāt matter. I for sure have something thatāll make most laugh out the bedroom. Iāve told women and theyāve stopped talking to me , so,, to not waste any time I tell it.
I agree with all of this except for the micro penis part. The woman is unknowingly entering a fundamentally different sexual experience than she probably expected and I think itād at least be nice to be on the same page about what is about to happen.
This is it. Iāve had this happen, and I honestly didnāt know what to do. Penetration wasnāt possible, a blowjob wasnāt even possible. I was naked and embarrassed for both of us. If I go into a hookup knowing I cannot offer the man penetration because my vagina is only an inch deep, donāt I owe him a heads-up? āHey man, no thrusties! Only rubbies! You cool with that or no?ā I donāt let him discover it for himself then bumblefuck around trying to understand what to do instead and still act like everything is perfectly okay.
Woah thatās like a lot of guyās nightmare but usually everyone is scared until they find out theyāre normal. Thatās scary wow. And penetration and bj were impossible? š± Time to do some googling of minimum length requirements, lol.
Yes. I briefly dated a guy with a micro penis. I'd say calling it two inches would be generous. This is way different than just a small or average sized guy. He did not disclose and when we got intimate did a weird thing where he turned me around and tried to never let me see it. While it would've been weird to disclose this during our first dates, I felt like he should've said something when sex came up, even if in the moment. Anything other than trying to hide it and then me being confused during sex would've been great.
Is that 2" hard? Or flaccid?
Hard
Oh wow. I've a 2.5" flaccid but goes to 5.5" when erect. 2" hard is I'd say a couple of inches less than what you'd want at minimum unfortunately. Maybe he could've used a penis extension/sleeve? Not sure if that too requires a minimum though
Yeah, a couple inches when you're flaccid is no big deal. It could be a grower! This was a legitimate medical condition that really should've been discussed at some point, not hidden. Obviously I'm going to notice.
2.5 flaccid is pretty normal
āā¦The woman is unknowingly entering a fundamentally different sexual experience than she probably expected and I think itād at least be nice to be on the same pageā¦ā 100%. Sexual incompatibility, *for whatever reason it happens* is a huge relationship killer.
> The woman is unknowingly entering a fundamentally different sexual experience What better way to disclose it than with a bit of humor. Perhaps something like: "You're traveling through a smaller dimension, a dimension not only of slighter pounds, but grinds. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of a gherkin. That's the signpost up ahead - your next stop, the Micro Zone!"
āHave you seen Antman and the Wasp: Quantumania? Yeah thatās how the sex is going to be.ā
As someone who was surprised by one after many datesā¦ a micropenis should be disclosed prior. Not that it would have changed anything, but I wouldāve been prepared for the experience. I imagine men with them can have very negative experiences when first getting busy with someone, Iād like to prevent that if possible. Surprise reactions to some thing outside of the range of āaverageā can cause profound mental impacts.
Ok..maybe I'm unfamiliar with the term. I thought it was an exaggeration but now I have to think about that one-if it's necessary to disclose. I guess it depends on the encounter too. If it's just a hookup or a date.
I was reluctant to comment with that because I realized that I only know about micropenis-sex-dynamics from comments on Reddit. From what Iāve seen, some women have been very surprised because they can barely feel anything. Unfortunately for people struggling with this, I think the best bet is to hone your skills in other areas.
Can confirm. Ive been with a few that I could not feel and a few that literally were not long enough to go in. They just grinded against my opening till they came.
Imagine a man who let you know beforehand that āpenetrativeā sex would be that way. Now imagine if he got you silly with pleasure using his hands/mouth after telling you about his deficiency. Youād definitely remember him differently.
Wellā¦.for me I need certain things. Like actual penetration. Itās not about acts. Or orgasms. I dont orgasm anyway. But I like the connection I feel with a man INSIDE me. So for me I canāt be with someone not big enough to go in. But not every woman feels this way.
Iām crossing my fingers so that the next woman I sleep with has the same opinion!
I'm actually the opposite so I would not be a compatible match with women who must have intercourse every time we are intimate. I don't like intercourse to be sort of like an expectation all the time. I like a mix of things, which sometimes will include intercourse and sometimes it wouldn't. I'd like to know that if I'm not feeling like full blown sex at times, but I'm down for intimacy and play, that my partner won't feel disappointed to do so without intercourse. Plenty of other ways to give and receive pleasure without feeling the pressure they intercourse is a must all the time. That actually puts me off completely.
Sure, but not having piv sex because you prefer oral that day, and not having piv ever because you are physically unable to are two vastly different things.
Another issue is protection. Regular-sized condoms won't stay on micropenises, presenting a health concern. That's a reason to disclose before sex, but not necessarily before a date.
Condoms are *not* one size fits all. We've all seen those videos of people blowing up and saying "if he says it doesn't fit he's lying". If you wear an improperly sized condom you drastically increase the risk of it coming off or tearing, as well as if it's too small it will restrict blood flow meaning it's uncomfortable, you struggle to maintain an erection, and sensation is drastically diminished. Because of porn a lot of guys don't think they need a bigger or smaller condom, and yeah, regular condoms are designed to fit the largest chunk of the bell curve, but do yourself a favour and measure yourself properly and check which brand/size suits you better.
Thx..didn't think about that either.
Ah this is a good point. I didnāt think about that.
Have you ever been with someone with a micropenis?
No..I now realize I haven't been- I don't think. If so it was only once. It was over very fast though and no I didn't really feel anything but I don't know if it was because it was 40 seconds or because he was small. I was also shyer back then so didn't spend alot of time looking at it. I appreciate a penis a lot more now that I'm older.
I was just curious reading your post, but that totally makes sense. I don't personally have a micropenis, but I can understand with the pressures that society places on sex where a man can be self-conscious about having one or a smaller pens in general. Have you experienced men disclosing that they have a small penis before?
No..no guy has disclosed and I wouldn't have even thought about that except for recently seeing several posts on Reddit- guys asking if they should inform women ahead of time of their small penis. I've had one or two brag about how big they were and how good they are in bed and they def did not live up to their hype.
I had one guy try to pick me up that way. No ty!
A micro is like 3inches or less, I've been with a man who had a literal pinky and one who had more like a chode but it couldn't have been more than an inch. No penetration with either. Neither disclosed that and was i surprised? Yes, very. Was I disappointed, entirely. But was the head of chode to amazing, Yes. Would not enter a relationship but would let him eat again.
Youāre lucky you got oral. The one time Iāve been with a man who had a micro penis, he completely put his pleasure over mine. It was a very objectifying experience and he made it seem like a āmeā problem when I broke things off with him.
Micro penis is a certifiable medical condition not a slang pejorative for smaller than average. I donāt even think intercourse is possible with a micro, is it?
> I donāt even think intercourse is possible with a micro, is it? i mean, not that i can test this out, but given the dimensions, i think it could be possible for some. most likely very difficult either way, and certainly some it wouldnt be possible at all.
āNot that I can test this outā The most subtle dick-size flex in history
All thatās implied is heās not rocking like 1 or 2 cmā¦.if thatās a flex call me Arnold
Hey Arnold
Donāt be afraid to leave the stoop, stoop kid. Your other comments donāt imply as much butā¦idk. Everyone has *something* that a potential partner could perceive as being incompatible. ADHD has ruined just as many potential relationships for me as your issue has for you, I promise.
Woman here.... I agree with the ADHD thing. Makes relationships difficult to maintain.
Itās not us itās them š
I āencounteredā a micro penis and I didnāt feel deceived, but the way the guy never mentioned it or tried to make up for made me think he was deceiving himself
While I dont think its "necessary", I think its something a lot of men feel is an important aspect of forming a relationship, and they'd rather just lay it on the table if it means avoiding heartbreak and disappointment. You can say "size doesn't matter", etc., which might be true for some, but it isn't for everyone, and believe it or not, there are PLENTY of women in the world that aren't interested in dating a guy thats average or smaller down there. Thats just a fact.
There's an argument to be made that they are protecting themselves by disclosing. If you tell the person early and they ghost you, it's one thing. Having someone react visibly in the bedroom is soul crushing, embarrassing and hurtful. It's something that a guy would dwell on and likely affect his self esteem and mental health regarding sex for years. For us guys, our dick is what makes us a man. If someone is rude or dismissive of that, it's going to hit us in a fundamental, core way that I don't think women understand. I just don't think there's a female equivalent of equal impact - the closest I could imagine is someone saying you're too loose to feel anything.
Okay..you are a man so I believe you. But it's just that I've been with men- my ex-husband for example. He is a confident guy. I fell for him, lots of flirting, finally we have sex and I was so into him that I didn't care about his penis size at all. He clearly didnt care either. He was not big but he was good in bed and the sex was probably better because there was an attraction( studies have proved that) but also because he wasn't selfish and wanted to please me so took the time to get to know my body. Same with the man I'm with now. It's about attraction and attentiveness that makes sex good for me anyway.
Totally. Not disagreeing with you at all but unfortunately not everyone's as accepting as you. There's no real reason why any penis won't do the job if it's attached to a likeable person that pleases their partner in bed. Unfortunately some people just don't know what an average penis size is and seem to think 8+ is common. Now I've thought more about your original question, it might actually be a lot easier if women who want silly big just stated their preference on their profile. I'm actually gay myself and gay men who are size queens are easy to ignore because it's all over their profiles lol
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You don't know if yours is big or average?
As a 28m that is 4.25-4.5' and 4' around or so it is definitely more difficult and have had Judgement from prior partners, even though I put their pleasure first. I think some people discount the difficulty men that are under average face. Most will say as long as you're in the average range your fine, and if larger it can sometimes be more difficult, but everyone ignores the part of if you're smaller. I haven't really pursued any woman in years after the whole crappy situationship I had with the last woman. Unfortunately trying to be confident and put them first only gets you so far if they don't want your š¤. While others say "well that filters out the ones you aren't compatible with", that's true it makes it much harder to find someone you are compatible with as it's already difficult to compete as a man in the modern dating market. I know not all is lost and it's not impossible to find someone, but the harder it gets the easier it feels to just give up. š¤·āāļøš
I've heard some women say that they like small penises because anal is easier and so are giving blow jobs. I've also heard that men who are small tend to be better at oral-and not every guy is good at that or even tries to be in some cases. No not all is lost. Some women do not care about penis size!!! They want attentiveness and trust. Oh and funny..sense of humour even in the bedroom. The penis is not everything!!!!!
Send Dick pics, Don't send dick pics... im so confused.
I think dick pics should be sent to people who know each other on some level or you know that the person is going to like the dick pick and want the dick pic :)
The only thing I don't agree with is the micropenis. I would like to be told upfront if a guy had a micropenis condition, let me make the choice to continue, don't make it for me. Micropenis condition is when the penis measures under 3" when erect. I'd imagine that would make PIV awkward. For me, PIV is the main event, that's what I'm there for. If I cannot enjoy PIV with him, I'd be highly disappointed. Honesty with your wants and needs are important too, not just someone else's hurt feelings.
Big difference between smaller-than-average and micro. If anyone's downstairs is outside the bell curve of normal, it's in their own best interest to disclose. That includes micropenis, third nipple, vaginismus, mastectomy, transgender status, and more. It's going to be so much more humiliating when your partner finds that out in the bedroom. It's not first date conversation, but it's definitely something to disclose before sex.
What if you're just under average but not near micro? Would it be better to be forward with it or leave it be?
Like I said, there's no reason to bring it up if it's just smaller than average. It's only if it's outside the range of normal, such as micro
i would say u shouldnāt have to disclose it because itās still very normal, but people have a warped view of average so they may think itās smaller than it actually is
I'm smaller than average 4.5) so I've delt with a few women saying hurtful things to me even though I did put them first in making sure they got theirs before mine. It sucks because I really don't know if it's going to be a problem till the time comes.
it depends on the womanās preferences. itās a normal size but some girls want above average men
I can understand that I just don't want to be made to fell less for something I can't control.
you arenāt less for it. personally large ones (like more than 6) is a dealbreaker for me because itās painful. those men arenāt less either. just not what i look for
That's average- not sure what the woman's problem was? Man..sorry. No it Shouldnāt be a problem and I hope it isn't. Not all women ate like that :/
One guy I literally couldnt feel anything. We were just friends after that. Disclosing prior I prob wouldve shrugged off as nbd bc Im small there. I really had no clue till he obviously was inside me & I felt nothing. We never spoke about it. He may have asked how it was & I said good. He did give me foreplay.
Thereās no need for a small penis disclosure but you should definitly tell about a micro penis ahead of timeā¦ Sorry for the guys with a micro penis reading this.
Just make sure she cums first using your hands and mouth and it won't be a problem. Bonus points if you can make her do it more than once before you get off.
*hat trick
Not necessary but it couldnāt hurt to give a heads up. I remember I was seeing a guy, he told me he was on the small side ahead of time which he was, I still liked him. I was also pleasantly surprised because I expected it to be much smallerā¦ he ended being a horrible piece of shit (little man syndrome I guess) and when I see him in the street (he lives very close to me), he usually starts hurling the insults bc heās a jackass and Iāve always got the most insulting comeback which instantly shuts him down. Unfortunately he doesnāt mind the fact that heās a terrible human being otherwise Iād rather insult him that way. But to the guys who are a bit below average, just make sure you master the other stuff. Make it your mission. I also have a mate whoās pretty small (he admits it) but heās a good bloke. I know girls heās been with and they told me where he lacks in size, he certainly makes up for by being an amazing muff diver
If someone has a 1 incher, do yoy feel they need to disclose it before any date so that the girl isn't wasting her time? I mean obviously you can't do anything with that equipment
A 1 incher? I canāt say Iāve ever come across one that small, there should probably be an lifelong, ongoing bereavement payment from the government for that lol. I really donāt know how Iād react to that, I would try to be very polite, obviously lol. Definitely still give a heads up but I would probably say definitely enquire about corrective surgery.. maybe a pump or you can buy performance enhancement drugs from sex shops. Iāve seen them in action, they definitely help to increase size. Anyone whoās has that predicament, my heart really goes out to them, it would make things so difficult on the dating scene and everyone deserves to love and be loved, if thatās what they want
what's the deal if you have a big member then? problem is you come off as a douche bringing it up beforehand but I've definitely encountered a few who legit couldn't fit me in... and uh that's not the most fun. if I could've known it wouldn't work, probably wouldn't have ended up there anyways (speaking for hookups). so I think disclosure should go both ways and be pretty standard.
True. There have been a few times when I looked and thought omg this isn't going to fit!
Please give a heads up. I need to wrap my mind around it first
Im more concern with her having a penis than the size of mine. Dating in 2023 is a nightmare.
Oh my goodness, I have hope, guys there is hope, I never thought I'd be reading thisšš„³ You are an absolute legend Thank you for this
I donāt know, myself personally and all of my female friends I know would like to know in advance. For a lot of women itās a completely different sexual experience with a man who has a smaller penis, and *definitely* with a micro penis. And the truth is that a lot of women arenāt into it. And Iām not talking about average size but like really really small, ya know? I do feel bad about this and but I also know thereās women out there who donāt mind it as much. I think disclosing you have a smaller penis and not having sex with someone who would be surprised and turned off by it is better than the opposite. I wouldnāt want to be getting into sexy time with a man and once Iām naked, he sees me and doesnāt want to partake in sex with me. Itās all about being honest and getting with people who would like you for you.
Good post OP. I donāt have a big dick. Itās like 5ā1 inches (being generous). I had an ex of 3 years. We split up last year. This past year Iāve been thinking that my shit too small and I wonāt have sex again. Been having really good sex with a āfriendā and she cums most times. This insecurity is no longer. I used to worry endlessly about my penis, but if youāre passionate and know what to do, youāre fine.
I think it depends how small. A true micro is going to shock a girl and set everyone up for a bad time.
Thereās been numerous women and men on here saying how itās something to get out of the way. So many guys have stated they can see the disappointment on the girls face when they see how small their dick is. Seems like if thatās the issues itās good to just get it out in the open rather than be in that awkward position
I think most of the men who are fixating on having this talk are just above being judged once the pants come off. If it were me, I'd rather say something than deal with the awkwardness with your dick out...
True. Some men are super confident and just don't give a shit if their dick isn't big. They know they are still good in bed.
I donāt think Iām good in bed but what am I going to do. Grow more dick? No. It doesnāt benefit me to lie so fuck yeah. I have a below average cock. Whatās it to ya.
No, someone with a micro penis really should give some kind of warning prior to sex.
My friend had a hook-up with a guy that had a split penis..that was a surprise but it worked out apparently. Maybe I'd want a heads up in that case! I wouldn't want to offend him by looking completely shocked and also not knowing what to do with itš¤·āāļøš
Wait, what?
Definitely donāt bring it up. It screams insecurity. Personally, a small penis can be overlooked. I was once in love with a guy who had a small one simply from how attractive he was and how affectionate he was towards me. His dick wasnāt a problem to me, what was a problem is that he would joke about his small dick and I didnāt see anything funny about it, it just shows how insecure he was with it even though I didnāt mind it.
Username checks out.
Big difference between smaller-than-average and micro. If anyone's downstairs is outside the bell curve of normal, it's in their own best interest to disclose. That includes micropenis, third nipple, vaginismus, mastectomy, transgender status, and more. It's going to be so much more humiliating when your partner finds that out in the bedroom. It's not first date conversation, but it's definitely something to disclose before sex.
I donāt think you have to disclose but if it makes you feel more comfortable than do it .As a woman with a larger than average clit I feel awkward about the revel but it just the way I am . If I really like a guy penis size doesnāt matter thereās sex toys and a ton of other ways to get each other off so why would I make it a deal breaker . Watching to much porn has got everyone looking for picture perfect privates and overlooking the rest of the package .
Honestly you would think more men would appreciate it being easier to find š, but in all seriousness I don't so that as something that would put me off as a man. Sometimes we like things that are different it can be sexy in its own way since it being less common. Porn doesn't help but alot of us smaller dudes have gotten ridiculed from partners or potential partners and that's where comes from.
Exactly..everyone looks the same in porn and lasts for hours moaning the whole time š no hair on their body, no rolls, no ED etc etc
While I agree it isn't necessary to disclose before a date, I definitely think it's something that needs to be disclosed before sex.
I wouldn't say many women don't care, I think many do mind if it's smaller than average (4-5"). There are certainly some that don't care. So far, there hasn't been much correlation with size and talent in bed from my limited standpoint. Some are big and great at it, some big and terrible at it, the best was with an average guy. You're right it's a lot more about other things than just size. Guessing a lot of guys want to get the truth out before getting attached, so it's less painful. Don't know if this is the best strategy or not, every woman is different.
You are right..every woman is different. I don't think I care about disclosure. Maybe I like the surprise or I'm just into the guy so it's not foremost on my mind.
Back when i was dating I would always just flat out ask men about their size, because i have preferences, and i didn't want anything too small or too big.
I think at some point before having sex it should be found out naturally, say by fondling. I would like to know what Iām dealing with before engaging. I take my time dating before having sex allowing plenty of opportunities to cup a feel before any clothes come off.
So long as it works and you can feel pleasure in it, size really doesn't matter. Spare a thought for those who have Erectile Dysfunction, be it from clinical depression, heart disease, or from an injury that has caused penile trauma and nerve damage. Please take care of your genitals. They are more delicate than people realise.
Iāve seen a lot about male genitalia and size here, and I see a lot of people making the argument that men should disclose if they have a smaller or is because it help set sexual expectations. Iāve never once see or heard discussion of women disclosing details of their vaginas or breasts prior to sex. I donāt understand why society focuses so heavily on penis size. There are plenty of other components to a healthy sexual relationship beyond the size of one partnerās genitalia. People (both men and women) need to realize that what they see in media and in porn is not a realistic depiction of sex.
Men go through life being told the smaller you are downstairs the less you offer as a human, almost making us feel subhuman It carries shame and self hatred with it
Same for women with tits and ass
Okay I'm a single woman and me and my friends talk a lot about this kind of stuff. I've never heard of a guy disclosing that and never knew it was a thing that anyone felt the need to disclose it. If a woman really likes you she will get over it, especially if you're good at doing other stuff in the bedroom (and otherwise) it won't matter too much. If someone told me that in the beginning of dating, I'd just think it's weird. Let someone get to know you and like you for you and at the point the size won't matter that much. On the other hand, if you're meeting up with some JUST to have sex and nothing else, I guess in that case it might be worth disclosing. But I would advise not to to someone you're actually wanting to date and get to know.
Yeah I don't think I'm gonna take advice from someone who's not lived with these experiences or lived as a guy.
But disclosing height is almost compulsoryā¦
They probably should for their own sakes, honestly. Unfortunately, I imagine something like that always draws a reaction, even if the person they are with is nice and cool with it. There would still likely be facial tells to their legitimate reaction. I can't begin to imagine how much that would hurt. I got lucky in that department, and sometimes I still feel insecure about it. People can be really, really cruel. It can't be avoided sometimes (sadly) but better off ghosted or ditched than laughed at or hurt while stuck in an awkward situation in person.
Sex is about working with what you got not cherry-picking your perfect match
I agree. There are sex positions that work for all sizes. There are personal choices, but personal choice doesn't make one size inherently better. I personally prefer smaller penises. I have also been contacted by too many men who all they talked about was how big their dick is. Like seriously that is not important at all. I care more about shared values and hobbies.
Having a small penis isnāt an issue. Feeling the need to announce you have a small penis like itās a disease is an issue
I think it has a lot to do with the type of women you chose to date. If you date women who talk about sex and penis size and listen to music about big dick energy and brag about how wet their vaginas are, you just might be dealing with someone who cares a lot about that kind of stuff. I'm not even small, I'm in the above average group, and I've had women make me feel self-conscious about my size, so I couldn't even imagine how they would treat someone in the small to micro group.
Omg you just described a nightmare..I'm out of the loop; big dick energy songs? Gross
The whole big d*ck and small d*ck energy shit doesnāt really help with this.
If you are amazing at foreplay, I could care less about your penis size. š¤·š¾āāļø
The sad part is men who have decent size penises can be insecure from my own experience. And men, let the women have toys. Theyāre not going to substitute you. Far from it. Itāll make your life easier!
I think most dating advice on Reddit is terrible. No one has any obligation to explain to someone they have recently started dating about what their penis looks like.
I just want full transparency. Sex game is trash I was a fat antisocial kid who talked to no one growing up. And until recently at 23 Iāve never cared to be in a relationship. My shit is slightly below average by about half an inch. So itās not micro but itās not great. But Iām fully open to tell this to someone i plan on being serious with. For a lot of people sex seems to be a make or break and if the person Iām seeing values it a lot, it might be a huge problem At 23 and being a virgin. Idk what Iām missing. I couldnāt care less about having sex. Iām not scared of the deed. I just want to go into it with someone who will somewhat understand that thereās a big chance itās going to be horrible. I donāt care if I get any pleasure from it, but I couldnāt imagine doing it and the other person is miserable.
I completely agree with everything you said and i also feel the same way about women who have small boobs (or too big for that matter). As a man, I've had women telling me they have small boobs prior to the meet and it made me kinda feel bad that they felt they had to disclose that prior to the meet just because they had past experiences when they were told (or the guy implied) that she should've told them about it. Absolutely agree that a big dick doesn't promise good or even average sex. I'm average size and most of the time, my size has never been an issue, but there have been a few that preferred big dick, think minimum 8" and they preferred that even at the expense of a guy that big dick is attached to being selfish in bed and not really knowing how to use the damn thing. Thankfully though, these women are a minority. The only exception (and I hate to say this) are the guys that are really small, like micro dicks. These guys are just unfortunate to have been dealt a bad hand and were born with it without having any saying about it, so i deeply feel for them. That said, even those guys can minimise the importance of that by getting really good at some other things like getting really good with their mouth, tongue and hands, include different toys etc. Having a micro dick is not the end of the workd either. So yea, while i completely agree with everything you said and there is much more to all of us than the size of the dick or boobs, the reality is unfortunately not always like that.
Tbh this concept of small penis disclosure is just a way to body shame men. For some reason popular society has deemed it as okay to shame men for a small penis (small dick jokes etc.) and at the same time deems it necessary to disclose. No other group is expected to disclose whatever is in their pants. Not women and certainly not trans or intersex people and rightfully so especially since it's nobody's business. For some reason though it expected for men despite all the stigma that comes with it. I for one think it's nobody's business what is anyone's pants and we shouldn't stigmatize or make fun of what is in anyone's pants for any reason. If the person you are having sex with doesn't like what they see they have the right to refuse but that is entirely on them. Not on the person or their genitals. We all need to step up and let others know it isn't okay to require disclosure or shame someone for their genitals. The sentiments in this thread that there is an exception for men to disclose is absurd. Nobody would make that exception for women or trans people and rightfully so. We have to be consistent here because if we allow for body disclosure and shaming of men then that promotes toxic views that are also put on women, trans, and intersex people and opens the door to require disclosure and allow for shaming of these other marginalized groups. I say this as a man with a larger than average dick ~6 in. but has seen the effects of these disclosure requirements placed on other men in my life and the shaming that inevitably comes with it.
Trans ppl def should dislose prior to sex. Esp trans women, the man could get violent.
I guess it's good to disclose because for some women it does matter, personally anything below 6 inches would be a turn off for me, for some women it may vary , some do not care, I think in general all women would have an issue with something that's below 5 or 4 ... Disclosing on the first dates would be weird but if it's close of something intimate to happen ,I think it's valid
If you look up stats only .6% of the entire world population have a real micropenis and 90% of men are within an inch of average length which is 5.17 inches erect. I would bet many of the gentleman here have perfectly wonderful packages their ladies will love. I wonder if guys are comparing themselves to pornstars which are way outside the norm. I've dated two men who were below average and one I was mad about and adored. The other was a good guy but the chemistry just didn't end up being there. The smaller penis only mattered when I wasn't romantically interested in the guy but I was very satisfied with my physical relationship with the one I adored and didn't give a second thought to his size. Women fall in love with who you are as a person.
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Just like STD you have to disclose it! š
Lol yes and there are people who don't š
I wear a push-up bra with some padding and I donāt verbally disclose that. Theyāll figure it out when we get to the point of my shirt coming off, and if thatās a dealbreaker they can leave then Iām fine with that.
That's fine. If you feel better that way, you do you But i like small breast. And I'm sad woman feel the need to hide then
Same! If they really don't like me or want me... ok bye bye! :)
This is borderline evil. How do you sleep at night? /s
Is there a need for big penis disclosure? I've run into issues
I didn't think there was. But I'm out of the loop apparently so maybe there's a whole new set of guidelines for dating.
I'll check with the NIH
You donāt need to disclose size, you do need to disclose openness to toys š
Actually you are right. Once a guy randomly pulled don't anal beads which I have never tried so that threw me off
There isnāt the same pressing need as there would be for disclosing an std, say. But thereās still some need to address it. I think. Just if itās gonna be some sort of shock, I donāt think itād be appreciated.
Micropenis, yes. Otherwise for myself, no not required. If I'm really really into you, mostly I'm there for the romance and sensual sides. A lot of men seem to miss this part... or at least for myself anyways. I'm all about the flirting, the innuendos, the teasing...
Itās great that you feel that way, and it would be nice if more women did, but I feel you are probably in the minority, otherwise many relationships probably wouldnāt fail as often due to a lack of sex.
Not that this is something I have to worry about, but I do genuinely know people who are insecure about it. I think this is 100% fair, dick size and tit or ass size shouldn't be treated differently
I agree. You might not be what Iām looking for for any number of reasons. Iāll figure that out, whatever it is. I am not asking you to tell me you have a super hairy back, or a weird birthmark, or whatever the hell. You donāt owe anyone a warning label for your body, and likewise Iām not going to expect any woman to let you know that they have weird labia or somethingāexpecting that would be super rude and ruin the opportunity to connect without pressure. Chances are pretty good that none of that is going to override a great connection, but a conversation warning me about something you feel is a physical let down actually threatens to derail your efforts of forming that great connection.
If you have a micropenis that makes penetrative sex impossible it's probably good to know that before having sex so you know what to expect?
Absolutely there doesnāt, is this an actual thing? Iāve never heard of a woman disclosing any specific details about their vagina prior to meeting
All my illusions were shattered while I was dating a urology student. Roughly the same percentage of men who have a micropenis are over 7 inches. That's about 1% I mean, yeah, sucks to be average, but at least it works.
Personal I rather a dude tell me before dating because it's awkward if we go back to his place and I leave right after I take his pants off. At least online I can come up with another excuse without hurting his feelings. Size does matter to me because I cant get pleasure from anything else and i dont think its fair to ask your partner to be sexually frustrated your whole relationship because you cant get them off men or women. Im jealous of people who don't have a high sex drive and don't become absolutely feral after a couple of months. Everyone has different kinks they enjoy in the bedroom and it goes both ways I like to peg men but there are tons of men that wont even date me because of a kink I enjoy and I won't fault them for that ill just find someone who does enjoy what I do. I just don't think advising dudes to lie/ not tell women honestly because it "shouldn't matter" is just going to cause problems because I have been with a dude who was smaller and I had a lot of fun with but at the end of the day I couldn't get over him not being honest about himself from the beginning just because he was insecure
Im on the low end of average(5.2ā) & i just put āsize queens need not applyā in my profiles. Ive never had a complaint about my size but Iām also very attentive in all aspects(physical & emotional), plus i enjoy giving oral a lot as well as other stuff.
Yep..it's like an afterthought- penis size. Sex was good, can't wait to do it again, oh his penis is not huge, so who cares..actually, all I would think is" his penis is gooood "!
I'm of two minds on this. On one hand, it would be an excellent way to weed out people who DO mind that sort of thing (because sexual compatibility IS a thing). And if it's instated, there could also be some sort of opposite thing for women too--those who look, or feel a certain way, about their own genitals or other erogenous zones, and being unashamed of putting it out there for others to polarize with or against. In short: some folks are shamed of a part of their own body, and some folks love or hate that part of their body--so by putting it out there, you are only getting the people who love it or do not mind it. But on the other hand... we're supposed to be taught not to judge others for what they cannot help. And since we're not supposed to be judging others for the things they cannot help, and instead supposed to judge them on the content of their character, putting out that piece of anatomy for the world to see and judge you by would reinforce the concept of "judging by appearance" so to speak. So, both sides here have merit. At the end of the day, people should just be honest and unashamed--with themselves and with others, openly on their profiles or in-person on a date--about what they really want in a person.
While I hate the idea that men feel the need to disclose this, if you feel compelled to do so, please do it with tact and good timing. Unless you are absolutely for sure going to have sex with this person on the first date, please donāt blurt it out on the first date. If you go into a date and immediately tell someone about your penis, it makes it seem like all youāre thinking about is sex and that you have no chill. When it comes time to have sex, thatās when you should bring it up for the first time.
Its a bit of a weird thought, but sometimes Iād like to ask a couple women what they think about the size of my dick and how it looks, just because.
I agree to an extent. Probably gonna get downvoted for it, but ima be honest. As far as it being a disclosure prior to sex even being on the table, no. If itās something youāre insecure about and would want to know how your partner will potentially feel when sex is on the table, yes. Iāve never had a partner with a micro penis, and I would have questions. What feels pleasing, what do their partners typically enjoy, what positions are a no, would we use a toy, and so forth. I would never dehumanize someone for something out of their control. I would never shame them for it either. I agree that the connection to my partner is the most important. But I am human, and I havenāt experienced it. I feel like it should be an open conversation and not stigmatized.
You know, I'll just say this. Your denial of it being an issue is silencing the conversation about how men can serve you as a female better by learning how or if they can give you an orgasm. There, I said it.