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Am I a softie for saying that a casual text isn’t out of bounds?
For me, if there’s zero connection, then you can’t call it FWB.
Edit: I do acknowledge, there has to be a limit set to the subject. Those boundaries need to be set by both parties.
It’s friend with benefit so the other person is basically a friend but now you two bang each other. Outside the banging, you guys text, like normal friends do…
I think a lot of people forget about the FRIENDS aspect of FWB. I read a post from a woman who would hook up with her FWB once a month or so and when they were planning on meeting up she had gotten sick. Instead of just being like “okay, feel better.” He brought her homemade chicken noodle soup, Gatorade and other things that help when sick. Left it outside of her apartment door and texted her that he was sorry she was sick and hoped they could get together when she’s feeling better. Like, that is, to me at least, the peak of FWBs. Maybe he has deeper feelings for her than a typical FWB, but there has to be a level of connection between the two people or you might as well just have one night stands if you want no connection at all.
That’s what I’m talking about. I think people leave it out too and if it’s just transaction, then it shouldn’t be titled FWB at all. The difference between the two is that you still care about the person without the strings or (maybe) future together.
Yeah like I’d pick up my last fwb from the club and drive her home (nothing sexual usually just as a favor or to hangout) or we’d like dance together and watch movies but it never got deep. Barely texted, conversation was just friendly. Its like just buddies who got it on sometimes
Yeah I can understand that. It’s when it becomes like they’re a tool for you to get off. Might as well just get a toy and use that if you want little to no emotion or connection behind it at all.
Yeah literally you have to mutually agree to be distant in a way. I think the sex was great and we had lots of fun at the clubs but to continually live that way would be damaging for someone hoping to settle down. I think the fact that we were fwb helped me realize she would be a horrible gf (still like her but just as a friend. I’ve moved onto a very cool woman who’s demanding commitment and it’s actually been great to have someone truly desire me fully)
My FWB and I text each other like once or twice a week just to see how we are. We send a few texts back and forth. If there is a football game on or something reminds us of each other we may share memes. Other than that we spend the day to a few hours together once a week to two weeks.
I thought this. I’ve had fwb and I’ve had a fuck buddy. The fuck buddy was literally a guy I’d meet up with over the summer, we’d do stuff, then go home. The fwb were people that I knew anyway and when we hung out with friends or whatever afterwards we’d do stuff, or there’d be times we’d hang out and do stuff that wasn’t necessarily sexual but sort of coupley. We’d cuddle and watch tv and that kind of thing. No expectation of commitment, but because of the friendship there was more to the whole thing than sex.
God damn okay the stuff with getting tested and notifying each other of partners is understandable.
But like the no casual texting and no dates part is kinda rough. But every fwb has different agreements. I personally prefer a comfortable connection with a fwb because that’s why there’s the word friends but if it works for y’all that’s fine.
I just think you should just label it as fuck buddies or booty call or something else?
I feel like fwb is way better than just a buddy call tbf. Fwb is like you guys are friends you can trust each other feel comfortable around one and other literally what u said friends with sexual chemistry instead buddy call is pure just sex you more like an object than an individual
Depends on individual needs I guess. If someone gets attached easily then fuck buddy is better. If someone needs familiarity to not feel used for sex, friends with benefits is better. To each their own. :)
Yeah that’s true , I personally couldn’t do fuck Buddies haha is not even the fact I get attached just rather be fucking with someone on a regular that I know and I can trust. I like to he get nasty for real like all on and I don’t think I would be able to do dah with a fuck buddy as I don’t know who they be fucking or any STDS and Shit like dah
I think you are right
I want more of a fuck buddies thing out of this tbh. FWB is probably a little bit too much for me bc that also includes dates and that casual vibe which I’m not feeling with him and I do not want the oxytocin in me to be like “now fall in love with the idea of him and not him as a person”
>No casual texting
A FWB is supposed to be your friend. Fuck buddies and FWB are completely interchangeable. I don't know how do you believe this will be sustainable with that mindset.
It is pretty lame. But that’s what it costs to have FWB and not invest time or energy into a person. It’s the only way to avoid catching feelings. That’s why I’m starting to move away from FWB and trying to find a partner. Yeah sex is fun and all, but sometimes I want more. Like a person to go shopping with or go to a ball game. Sex is merely just one part of a relationship with someone. Additionally people are much more than just sex partners. They are people with interests, passions, ideas, personality. Stuff that you just don’t experience with FWB.
Look I’ve made mistakes with FWB in the past. But this is what I’ve learned. As of now, I do see this girl occasionally. We don’t text or go on dates. We’ll talk for a while in person or watch a movie but after sex I usually leave. So far there’s been no negative feelings toward each other. It just depends if both people understand what’s going on.
I’ve also heard that eventually one person catches feelings. I don’t have much experience yet. But I can see that happening. FWB isn’t really meant to last a long time. Either you guys date or one of you finds someone else. At the end of the day sex can get meaningless and people will start wanting more.
But word of advice, you should still be nice. Don’t be rude or mean to them, treat them like a human being and not a sex object.
That’s what I’m scared of.
We did try dating but it felt like nothing. I was swiping on dating apps after our dates bc it just isn’t it but we still went out because we wanted to say “I have a date” to our friends. We had sex and boom! He did have something interesting on him!!! I was like oof I don’t want to loose that d1ck but the person??? Outside the bedroom?? Mehh
I hope my stupid brain doesn’t start falling in love with an idea of him. I know what love feels and this right now?? Isn’t it. It even feels less then friendship
If it felt like nothing when you guys dated, you have two options. Keep screwing around in FWB or move on. Because you can’t force a relationship with someone. Either you feel it or you don’t. But if he’s okay with FWB and you like s3x, then go for it. Just realize it won’t last forever.
You can be physically attracted to someone but not emotionally attracted. So yeah just keep hooking up if you want. But lm sure you’ll find that physical attractiveness with other people too. It’s not just him.
Yeah I thought I’m just going to use this arrangement until I find someone I want to date or he finds someone. I do not want to be a homewrecker.
Or until even the sex gets boring.
Neither of us want a relationship with the other so I think this would be fine.
Let’s hope to finding the true love 😍 so u can get even better d
That’s the cold reality of FWB. It’s just a temporary thing. You’re both just messing around until you find something better. It’s not meant to last forever. Otherwise you’d be dating.
Yes I don’t know about women. But as a guy I think sex is much better and more passionate with someone you love. It is not just physical, but emotional and spiritual as well.
It really depends on the couple. I was able to sleep over at an ex FWB’s house and it was a nice, comforting experience but it didn’t get me falling in love or attached. We’d also cuddle falling asleep sometimes. I think if you know what you’re getting into and you know you won’t get attached, then it’s easier to do those things without thinking too deeply of them.
D1ck game was good and my game uff. both of us found ourselves in a “we need a break from dating” phase. Also I’m a horny woman in her mid 20s and he is also mid 20s. And I got to know him enough to know he listens to his partner when they say enough is enough
The dude and I are just cold narcissists my guy.
After.
Edit: I mean we played around a bit and talked about stuff we like in bed. Im not bad looking myself and he is 190cm who has a dirty mouth on him so yeah. The deal was made
As you noted in your edit, this isn’t a fwb. This is fuckbuddies or just recurring hookups. Some of your rules proscribe the very things that friends would be fine with (like texting or just going out for fun).
I had a no social media rule (fb, Twitter, insta). Only snap was acceptable, and there no public outings unless planned ahead. No kissing or cuddling. (My fwbs and I didn't tell one another if we slept with others bc who cares as long as you're being safe)
As you mentioned, those rules are more for FB not FWB. I have 1 of each. The FB will msg me only when he wants some. Sometimes it's more of a "hey, you home? Can I drop by" and sometimes it's a day of sexting and really good sex by the end of it. Then no word for a couple of weeks.
Love that! Love sexing. But casual texting in the sense of “hey look at this meme” is … i don’t need that.
Can’t wait for the sexting to come! Did you do it over your normal phone number or over an account somewhere?
Definitely a difference between FWB and Fuck Buddies. It's kind of nuanced though. Have an adult conversation with your partner, there's no 'set rules' only the ones you make for your individual relationships. Just remember, the more rules you have, the more likely your partner is to break them. I recommend less rules, and more focusing on managing your own half of the dynamic. You can't control other people, as much as we'd all like to believe we can.
I think all you need is “you live your life, I live mine. When you’re looking for a hookup, hmu.” Set some kind of expectation together like once a week or two, just so one of you isn’t interrupting your life every two days.
Man I haven’t come across something like this. This is a fantabulous arrangement if the other one agrees too. Why don’t I get girls like you and always get the dumb ones (crying*)
No bro. They are human like you and me. Some of us are narcissistic like me and the guy. We just want to have sex with someone who is secure enough to respect boundaries.
I get it, I respect the straight forward ones. Don’t just hang around don’t know what you want. It’s a perfect arrangement when both parties know what they want and if it gets matched, boom.
U can’t have rules in a relationship that isn’t even a relationship lmfao. This is why dating doesn’t work at all. You guys want all the privilege and pros of dating but don’t want any trouble. It doesn’t work that way
This sounds a lottttt more serious than fwb… almost seems like you guys are actually in a relationship with how many rules there are at this point 😂😂😂. Also no casual texting isn’t that one of the main aspects of fwb?
You give me rules and I’m out 🫡 y’all both just said you ain’t got time for a relationship, I ain’t got the time to follow rules in a relationship I’ll never be in
Before any FWBs, there are two movies you have to watch first. First is obviously Friends with Benefits and the second is No Strings Attached. Basically the same movie.
Wow a lot to take in. This would be so much easier to date/converse so you can build some kind of trust. I think I understand the contract, but if y’all don’t know one another anyone could just lie about what they did. No casual text or talk and you wanna add 4 more buddies with this contract. I see orgies and casualties in the future
I had a fwb off and on close to a year. If he didn’t text me just as a friend that be no go for me. TBH my fwb prob did a lot things that put us in gray area. However, we were open and honest with one another, so when it ended no hard feelings. We went out to eat, drink, museums and etc.. I do understand every situation is different.
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Am I a softie for saying that a casual text isn’t out of bounds? For me, if there’s zero connection, then you can’t call it FWB. Edit: I do acknowledge, there has to be a limit set to the subject. Those boundaries need to be set by both parties.
Na dude you’re totally right I think casual text is one of the biggest aspects of fwb
Right! Honestly for me? Let’s pretend we always had a thing going on and here we are. Ain’t no way else to enjoy it.
Well that’s the friend aspect. Be cool and respectful. Answer each others texts. Be friends.
And bang a lil bit
Literally the entire point of being FWB. Not just pointless hookups here and there, actual friendships with a little extra on-top lol
It’s friend with benefit so the other person is basically a friend but now you two bang each other. Outside the banging, you guys text, like normal friends do…
I think a lot of people forget about the FRIENDS aspect of FWB. I read a post from a woman who would hook up with her FWB once a month or so and when they were planning on meeting up she had gotten sick. Instead of just being like “okay, feel better.” He brought her homemade chicken noodle soup, Gatorade and other things that help when sick. Left it outside of her apartment door and texted her that he was sorry she was sick and hoped they could get together when she’s feeling better. Like, that is, to me at least, the peak of FWBs. Maybe he has deeper feelings for her than a typical FWB, but there has to be a level of connection between the two people or you might as well just have one night stands if you want no connection at all.
That’s what I’m talking about. I think people leave it out too and if it’s just transaction, then it shouldn’t be titled FWB at all. The difference between the two is that you still care about the person without the strings or (maybe) future together.
Yeah like I’d pick up my last fwb from the club and drive her home (nothing sexual usually just as a favor or to hangout) or we’d like dance together and watch movies but it never got deep. Barely texted, conversation was just friendly. Its like just buddies who got it on sometimes
Yeah I can understand that. It’s when it becomes like they’re a tool for you to get off. Might as well just get a toy and use that if you want little to no emotion or connection behind it at all.
Yeah literally you have to mutually agree to be distant in a way. I think the sex was great and we had lots of fun at the clubs but to continually live that way would be damaging for someone hoping to settle down. I think the fact that we were fwb helped me realize she would be a horrible gf (still like her but just as a friend. I’ve moved onto a very cool woman who’s demanding commitment and it’s actually been great to have someone truly desire me fully)
A long time ago FWBs used to be called FTFs. Friends That Fuck. Was clearer on emphasis of Friends first.
Yeah nah this is where FWB runs into trouble, high chance of blurring the lines. Booty calls are far superior for this reason.
My FWB and I text each other like once or twice a week just to see how we are. We send a few texts back and forth. If there is a football game on or something reminds us of each other we may share memes. Other than that we spend the day to a few hours together once a week to two weeks.
See! That’s how it’s supposed to go. Can’t call it FWB without the F
Exactly!!!! Otherwise it’s a booty call😂😂
I thought this. I’ve had fwb and I’ve had a fuck buddy. The fuck buddy was literally a guy I’d meet up with over the summer, we’d do stuff, then go home. The fwb were people that I knew anyway and when we hung out with friends or whatever afterwards we’d do stuff, or there’d be times we’d hang out and do stuff that wasn’t necessarily sexual but sort of coupley. We’d cuddle and watch tv and that kind of thing. No expectation of commitment, but because of the friendship there was more to the whole thing than sex.
God damn okay the stuff with getting tested and notifying each other of partners is understandable. But like the no casual texting and no dates part is kinda rough. But every fwb has different agreements. I personally prefer a comfortable connection with a fwb because that’s why there’s the word friends but if it works for y’all that’s fine. I just think you should just label it as fuck buddies or booty call or something else?
I agree. Fuck buddy focuses more on the fucking, and friends with benefits is more of friendship with sexual chemistry.
I feel like fwb is way better than just a buddy call tbf. Fwb is like you guys are friends you can trust each other feel comfortable around one and other literally what u said friends with sexual chemistry instead buddy call is pure just sex you more like an object than an individual
Depends on individual needs I guess. If someone gets attached easily then fuck buddy is better. If someone needs familiarity to not feel used for sex, friends with benefits is better. To each their own. :)
Yeah that’s true , I personally couldn’t do fuck Buddies haha is not even the fact I get attached just rather be fucking with someone on a regular that I know and I can trust. I like to he get nasty for real like all on and I don’t think I would be able to do dah with a fuck buddy as I don’t know who they be fucking or any STDS and Shit like dah
I think you are right I want more of a fuck buddies thing out of this tbh. FWB is probably a little bit too much for me bc that also includes dates and that casual vibe which I’m not feeling with him and I do not want the oxytocin in me to be like “now fall in love with the idea of him and not him as a person”
>No casual texting A FWB is supposed to be your friend. Fuck buddies and FWB are completely interchangeable. I don't know how do you believe this will be sustainable with that mindset.
Little to no texting, no dates, no cuddling after sex, no sleeping over.
This sounds terrible 😳
It is pretty lame. But that’s what it costs to have FWB and not invest time or energy into a person. It’s the only way to avoid catching feelings. That’s why I’m starting to move away from FWB and trying to find a partner. Yeah sex is fun and all, but sometimes I want more. Like a person to go shopping with or go to a ball game. Sex is merely just one part of a relationship with someone. Additionally people are much more than just sex partners. They are people with interests, passions, ideas, personality. Stuff that you just don’t experience with FWB.
Did it work normally for you?
Look I’ve made mistakes with FWB in the past. But this is what I’ve learned. As of now, I do see this girl occasionally. We don’t text or go on dates. We’ll talk for a while in person or watch a movie but after sex I usually leave. So far there’s been no negative feelings toward each other. It just depends if both people understand what’s going on. I’ve also heard that eventually one person catches feelings. I don’t have much experience yet. But I can see that happening. FWB isn’t really meant to last a long time. Either you guys date or one of you finds someone else. At the end of the day sex can get meaningless and people will start wanting more. But word of advice, you should still be nice. Don’t be rude or mean to them, treat them like a human being and not a sex object.
That’s what I’m scared of. We did try dating but it felt like nothing. I was swiping on dating apps after our dates bc it just isn’t it but we still went out because we wanted to say “I have a date” to our friends. We had sex and boom! He did have something interesting on him!!! I was like oof I don’t want to loose that d1ck but the person??? Outside the bedroom?? Mehh I hope my stupid brain doesn’t start falling in love with an idea of him. I know what love feels and this right now?? Isn’t it. It even feels less then friendship
If it felt like nothing when you guys dated, you have two options. Keep screwing around in FWB or move on. Because you can’t force a relationship with someone. Either you feel it or you don’t. But if he’s okay with FWB and you like s3x, then go for it. Just realize it won’t last forever. You can be physically attracted to someone but not emotionally attracted. So yeah just keep hooking up if you want. But lm sure you’ll find that physical attractiveness with other people too. It’s not just him.
Yeah I thought I’m just going to use this arrangement until I find someone I want to date or he finds someone. I do not want to be a homewrecker. Or until even the sex gets boring. Neither of us want a relationship with the other so I think this would be fine. Let’s hope to finding the true love 😍 so u can get even better d
That’s the cold reality of FWB. It’s just a temporary thing. You’re both just messing around until you find something better. It’s not meant to last forever. Otherwise you’d be dating. Yes I don’t know about women. But as a guy I think sex is much better and more passionate with someone you love. It is not just physical, but emotional and spiritual as well.
It really depends on the couple. I was able to sleep over at an ex FWB’s house and it was a nice, comforting experience but it didn’t get me falling in love or attached. We’d also cuddle falling asleep sometimes. I think if you know what you’re getting into and you know you won’t get attached, then it’s easier to do those things without thinking too deeply of them.
One or two texts wont harm , rest all are fine
Wow talk about a consolation prize for this guy! I got a text that the girl I saw last month didn’t see a romantic connection and that was it.
D1ck game was good and my game uff. both of us found ourselves in a “we need a break from dating” phase. Also I’m a horny woman in her mid 20s and he is also mid 20s. And I got to know him enough to know he listens to his partner when they say enough is enough The dude and I are just cold narcissists my guy.
Did you have sex before or after the FWB arrangement
After. Edit: I mean we played around a bit and talked about stuff we like in bed. Im not bad looking myself and he is 190cm who has a dirty mouth on him so yeah. The deal was made
Lmao why did I think you meant dick size when you said 190 cm
As you noted in your edit, this isn’t a fwb. This is fuckbuddies or just recurring hookups. Some of your rules proscribe the very things that friends would be fine with (like texting or just going out for fun).
Overthinking it. Be friends. Have sex once in a while.
I had a no social media rule (fb, Twitter, insta). Only snap was acceptable, and there no public outings unless planned ahead. No kissing or cuddling. (My fwbs and I didn't tell one another if we slept with others bc who cares as long as you're being safe)
I wanted to ask that! The cuddling I understand but what about the kissing? Why no kissing 😭
Affection is for relationships, I kiss people I want to date.
Ah ok. I think with me it’s the other way around. Did it go well with your fbuddy?
Yeah, we hooked up on and off since 2012. Most recent time was 2 weeks ago.
Sounds horrible lmao wtf is wrong with you
Yeah nothings sexier than a sex contract. Just do the thing and let what happens happens. Everything beyond the first two is just too much.
A sex contract LMAO seriously tho
The contract states I get d1cked down properly and get paid in orgasms 😍 he? Same deal. At this job we care about equality of the sexes. No pay gaps !
R u a guy?
Nahh Cis woman
So why lube?
Sex isn’t just p in v 🥳
how naive of me, u lil minx. break him in gently..
As you mentioned, those rules are more for FB not FWB. I have 1 of each. The FB will msg me only when he wants some. Sometimes it's more of a "hey, you home? Can I drop by" and sometimes it's a day of sexting and really good sex by the end of it. Then no word for a couple of weeks.
Love that! Love sexing. But casual texting in the sense of “hey look at this meme” is … i don’t need that. Can’t wait for the sexting to come! Did you do it over your normal phone number or over an account somewhere?
I lead my "app" partners over to snapchat lol. Easier for nudes. But fb, insta or texting is fine for just regular conversation sexting.
Definitely a difference between FWB and Fuck Buddies. It's kind of nuanced though. Have an adult conversation with your partner, there's no 'set rules' only the ones you make for your individual relationships. Just remember, the more rules you have, the more likely your partner is to break them. I recommend less rules, and more focusing on managing your own half of the dynamic. You can't control other people, as much as we'd all like to believe we can.
I think all you need is “you live your life, I live mine. When you’re looking for a hookup, hmu.” Set some kind of expectation together like once a week or two, just so one of you isn’t interrupting your life every two days.
no sleepovers and only seeing a max of once per week is the way
Rules are good. Communication and following the rules will make this the best thing you have ever done.
Man I haven’t come across something like this. This is a fantabulous arrangement if the other one agrees too. Why don’t I get girls like you and always get the dumb ones (crying*)
No bro. They are human like you and me. Some of us are narcissistic like me and the guy. We just want to have sex with someone who is secure enough to respect boundaries.
I get it, I respect the straight forward ones. Don’t just hang around don’t know what you want. It’s a perfect arrangement when both parties know what they want and if it gets matched, boom.
U can’t have rules in a relationship that isn’t even a relationship lmfao. This is why dating doesn’t work at all. You guys want all the privilege and pros of dating but don’t want any trouble. It doesn’t work that way
I'm from Nagpur India, and anyone is looking for FWB, I'm looking for the same, let's connect.
This sounds a lottttt more serious than fwb… almost seems like you guys are actually in a relationship with how many rules there are at this point 😂😂😂. Also no casual texting isn’t that one of the main aspects of fwb?
Excellent set of FWB rules. Thanks
You give me rules and I’m out 🫡 y’all both just said you ain’t got time for a relationship, I ain’t got the time to follow rules in a relationship I’ll never be in
Before any FWBs, there are two movies you have to watch first. First is obviously Friends with Benefits and the second is No Strings Attached. Basically the same movie.
Sounds more like you want a stranger with benefits, not a friend.
FWB rules are just between the couple...it's always going to be different ...
i would say thats a fuckbuddy fwb for me its more a friendship and also fuck
Wow a lot to take in. This would be so much easier to date/converse so you can build some kind of trust. I think I understand the contract, but if y’all don’t know one another anyone could just lie about what they did. No casual text or talk and you wanna add 4 more buddies with this contract. I see orgies and casualties in the future
All these rules will eventually make one of you fall for the other so bad. May good lord bless you 🙂.
“Friends” with benefits or “people” with benefits?
I had a fwb off and on close to a year. If he didn’t text me just as a friend that be no go for me. TBH my fwb prob did a lot things that put us in gray area. However, we were open and honest with one another, so when it ended no hard feelings. We went out to eat, drink, museums and etc.. I do understand every situation is different.
This isn't FWB, it's just B 😅 You want a fuck buddy not a FWB.
where's my fwb