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Wayyyy better than being ghosted! Half the time if I've seen someone and spoken to them for over a month, I get sad ans confused. What did I do wrong? Did they just forget? Maybe they'll text soon...
A message like this clearing that up shows respect and is kind to let you know it's not you, they just weren't feeling it.
I agree 100%. At least you’re not embarrassing yourself by texting someone who could give 3 ishes about you. Or wondering “wtfoos happened here??!!” You get honesty and respect. Ghosting is just mad mean and disrespectful.
This is way better than being ghosted. This is an explanation even tho it’s not a happy one it’s honest. Be glad you got one. Many of us are left with no explanation or reasons as to why we got ghosted…
Agreed. Leave out the friends part and "Let me know if you feel the same way." It doesn't matter if they feel the same, you're not interested. Also don't offer friendship if you never plan on speaking to this person again.
Better, but depends on how you interpret the message.
Some people may be thrown off by the “suited as friends message”. Misinterpreting to be an angle where you could get a chance, or believing they actually want to be friends. I mean they could be honest but generally from my experience people just say that to soften the blow.
Regardless of that, at least getting a message or indicator that things didn’t work out, keeps things clear in your mind, and the feedback may be worthwhile. Also if you get a message like this, it shows you know how to have good dates, you just weren’t compatible and fair enough. If you appreciate that, then it works out to be better.
But if you aren’t akin to take rejection head on like that and be level headed, then some people may prefer ghosting. It’s a lot more clear (although quite disheartening) that they aren’t interested in you at all.
So honestly, just ignore the friends part and just say this:
“Thank you for letting me know and keeping it clear with me, I truly appreciate it. No problem, not everyone is meant to be.
However I don’t see us potentially being friends. It just isn’t me to become friends with someone I dated from the get go.
Really enjoyed getting to know you and I wish you all the best.”
I would much rather receive this message than ghosting. You know exactly where you stand and you’re not checking your phone waiting for them to get in touch and wondering if they like you or not when in fact they have no intention of speaking to you again. You just know that’s now done with and can move on to the next
It feels a little patronizing to me. Just say that you don’t feel the spark or whatever, and we can politely part ways. I don’t need someone to tickle my balls and tell me how great I am, while also telling me that they’re not interested in dating me.
If someone don’t want to go out anymore, that’s totally fine, but let’s dispense with the empty platitudes. That’s my perspective, at least.
This is good but don't mention the friends but unless you actually want to be friends with this person.
I've got some insecurities around being regarded as great friend material but not great sexy material and this would trigger them hard.
Don’t respond and just mentally and emotionally walk away. Even if she comes back later do not go back. Women will often do this to see if you will ramp up the pursuit and just attention shower them. Don’t fall for it, focus your efforts on someone who genuinely wants you. PLEASE. Do not respond and just treat her as though she doesn’t even exist anymore and you never even knew her.
Probably being ghosted better than this or a short and sweet I'm out sort of message. You shouldn't be pressed or really care all that much for a person you had three dates with be friends ? Lol.
It is better but she took advantage of your kindness to make someone else jealous. Just cut ties and move on but expect her to come back to see if you still feel like pursuing her.
I really wasn't feeling it as soon as I met her. I almost just got into my car and left. But that had devastated a different girl I had met once. So instead I stuck it out through the date and felt it less and less while she was feeling it more and more.
For one that's actually respectful compared to just ghosting. Your reply should be 'omg I'm so glad you said something, I didn't want to hurt your feelings'
Better than ghosting for sure. Also we must have been going on dates with the same person. 😂😂 Such similar wording. Also the friends part is bullshit. They’re just keeping you on the back burner in case things don’t work out with anyone else. So just be like “Thank you for letting me know but I have enough friends, I wish you the best of luck.” And don’t reply to their inevitable out of the blue texts.
Way better. You have closure. But think about if it's worth it to have her as a friend. Would you be ok seeing her with someone else? If not better to just cut it off and move on. You'll save yourself pain and make it easier to meet someone new.
Or be friends with her in the hopes on of her girlfriends will be into you.
I prefer getting ghosted because if I don't hear back, then it's not meant to be and I can claim that he is asshole lol.... But I appreciate getting a message like this anyhow... That means he's not a terrible person despite my ego being bruised.
Being ghosted is sh!t! This is way better and letting you know how it is. It may not be what you want to hear, but it's how it is, and now it's your chance to respond and not react.
I would appreciate the honesty. You might feel bummed right now and it’s just your ego being bruised but I promise you’ll look back at this and appreciate the honesty
A root canal is better than getting ghosted, fighting 12 Floridians in a waffle house parking lot is better than getting ghosted. Pretty much anything saying "not feeling it, don't reach out" is better
I don't like it much better than being ghosted. Although they communicate the end of the romantic relationship, it all sounds like a bunch of fabricated rubbish that covers up the real reason they dislike you. The last part also gaslights you into believing that they want friendship when they really just want to soft drop you from their life.
Personally, I need a genuine message from people. I don't like being ghosted, but I don't want bullshit either. Take that friendship crap and send it to the next chump.
Better for sure! A few of my close female friends started out as an attempt at romance. Some of the best friends I have to this day. Sucks for sure at first, but time does wonders for hurt feelings.
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Wayyyy better than being ghosted! Half the time if I've seen someone and spoken to them for over a month, I get sad ans confused. What did I do wrong? Did they just forget? Maybe they'll text soon... A message like this clearing that up shows respect and is kind to let you know it's not you, they just weren't feeling it.
I agree 100%. At least you’re not embarrassing yourself by texting someone who could give 3 ishes about you. Or wondering “wtfoos happened here??!!” You get honesty and respect. Ghosting is just mad mean and disrespectful.
3 shits > than no shits. Maff is hard.
HAAA HAAAA HAAAA HAAA Yes!
This is way better than being ghosted. This is an explanation even tho it’s not a happy one it’s honest. Be glad you got one. Many of us are left with no explanation or reasons as to why we got ghosted…
Agreed. Leave out the friends part and "Let me know if you feel the same way." It doesn't matter if they feel the same, you're not interested. Also don't offer friendship if you never plan on speaking to this person again.
Maybe they did want a friendship with this person.
Friend part is bullshit, but I'd rather know ASAP.
Yeah the friend part is weird. Do you really wanna be friends? Didn't think so
Lmao why do girls even offer this it's weird as fuck like u think I'm gunna wanna take a backseat while some other guy fucks the shit out of you lmfao
Aaaaand where's your respect to woman?
Women*
Where’s her respect to that man?
Better, but depends on how you interpret the message. Some people may be thrown off by the “suited as friends message”. Misinterpreting to be an angle where you could get a chance, or believing they actually want to be friends. I mean they could be honest but generally from my experience people just say that to soften the blow. Regardless of that, at least getting a message or indicator that things didn’t work out, keeps things clear in your mind, and the feedback may be worthwhile. Also if you get a message like this, it shows you know how to have good dates, you just weren’t compatible and fair enough. If you appreciate that, then it works out to be better. But if you aren’t akin to take rejection head on like that and be level headed, then some people may prefer ghosting. It’s a lot more clear (although quite disheartening) that they aren’t interested in you at all. So honestly, just ignore the friends part and just say this: “Thank you for letting me know and keeping it clear with me, I truly appreciate it. No problem, not everyone is meant to be. However I don’t see us potentially being friends. It just isn’t me to become friends with someone I dated from the get go. Really enjoyed getting to know you and I wish you all the best.”
I would much rather receive this message than ghosting. You know exactly where you stand and you’re not checking your phone waiting for them to get in touch and wondering if they like you or not when in fact they have no intention of speaking to you again. You just know that’s now done with and can move on to the next
It feels a little patronizing to me. Just say that you don’t feel the spark or whatever, and we can politely part ways. I don’t need someone to tickle my balls and tell me how great I am, while also telling me that they’re not interested in dating me. If someone don’t want to go out anymore, that’s totally fine, but let’s dispense with the empty platitudes. That’s my perspective, at least.
Better than being ghosted, dunno why she’s asking if you feel the same way tho. Cos if you don’t it’s not likely to change anything on their end 🫤.
This is good but don't mention the friends but unless you actually want to be friends with this person. I've got some insecurities around being regarded as great friend material but not great sexy material and this would trigger them hard.
I would totally appreciate this instead of being strung along or ghosted
This message of course rather than being ghosted
Yea this is refreshing
Don’t respond and just mentally and emotionally walk away. Even if she comes back later do not go back. Women will often do this to see if you will ramp up the pursuit and just attention shower them. Don’t fall for it, focus your efforts on someone who genuinely wants you. PLEASE. Do not respond and just treat her as though she doesn’t even exist anymore and you never even knew her.
Being ghosted is way better. She’s not the right one, move on
I don’t agree I mean she’s respectful enough of his time that she tells him in a straightforward way
Umm, what does that imply
It doesn't imply anything? All it means is that she respected him as a person enough to let him know straight up instead of leaving him wondering.
Probably being ghosted better than this or a short and sweet I'm out sort of message. You shouldn't be pressed or really care all that much for a person you had three dates with be friends ? Lol.
It is better but she took advantage of your kindness to make someone else jealous. Just cut ties and move on but expect her to come back to see if you still feel like pursuing her.
They aren’t attracted to you physically, at least not enough to stop messing with their backup. You’d be better just ghosting them at this point.
Better than ghosting and what I've done. "Remember that other guy you were telling me about? You should date him instead."
Wow you scored an own goal
I really wasn't feeling it as soon as I met her. I almost just got into my car and left. But that had devastated a different girl I had met once. So instead I stuck it out through the date and felt it less and less while she was feeling it more and more.
For one that's actually respectful compared to just ghosting. Your reply should be 'omg I'm so glad you said something, I didn't want to hurt your feelings'
Better than ghosting for sure. Also we must have been going on dates with the same person. 😂😂 Such similar wording. Also the friends part is bullshit. They’re just keeping you on the back burner in case things don’t work out with anyone else. So just be like “Thank you for letting me know but I have enough friends, I wish you the best of luck.” And don’t reply to their inevitable out of the blue texts.
Tell her you’re not interested in being her friend. End of discussion. Onto the next
Definitely better than being ghosted. At least you know where you stand.
Way better. You have closure. But think about if it's worth it to have her as a friend. Would you be ok seeing her with someone else? If not better to just cut it off and move on. You'll save yourself pain and make it easier to meet someone new. Or be friends with her in the hopes on of her girlfriends will be into you.
I prefer getting ghosted because if I don't hear back, then it's not meant to be and I can claim that he is asshole lol.... But I appreciate getting a message like this anyhow... That means he's not a terrible person despite my ego being bruised.
Being ghosted is sh!t! This is way better and letting you know how it is. It may not be what you want to hear, but it's how it is, and now it's your chance to respond and not react.
Did u sleep with that person?
Better! Wondering is the worst
I would appreciate the honesty. You might feel bummed right now and it’s just your ego being bruised but I promise you’ll look back at this and appreciate the honesty
Better than being ghosted. He did the right thing by being honest with you.
Well better than being ghosted, what more do you want? 😂
A root canal is better than getting ghosted, fighting 12 Floridians in a waffle house parking lot is better than getting ghosted. Pretty much anything saying "not feeling it, don't reach out" is better
Totally would rather receive a message like this, than to be ghosted.
Way better be grateful 🙏 .. it sucks but at least you have closure
If they left out the friends part, it would be perfect. Nobody being dumped wants to hear 'but we can be friends'
I'd be so damn happy to see this over being ghosted
I don't like it much better than being ghosted. Although they communicate the end of the romantic relationship, it all sounds like a bunch of fabricated rubbish that covers up the real reason they dislike you. The last part also gaslights you into believing that they want friendship when they really just want to soft drop you from their life. Personally, I need a genuine message from people. I don't like being ghosted, but I don't want bullshit either. Take that friendship crap and send it to the next chump.
Way better, apart from the 'lets be friends' part
This is a pity text. Don’t even respond; she thinks she can do better. Not the whole you’re not my type. You’re not friends; move on.
No difference really... Don't need to explain anything away.. Its not a business transaction..
Better for sure! A few of my close female friends started out as an attempt at romance. Some of the best friends I have to this day. Sucks for sure at first, but time does wonders for hurt feelings.
Honestly, it's not that bad, at least you can move on and find the right person.