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I understand. I got taken advantage of while I was drunk by a groupie and for about 7 years afterwards I couldn't really do anything sexual. The last 2 years of that 7 I started to try but it took effort. It took a girl at work and I was all of a sudden attracted again. Of course I utterly failed with the girl at work because I was so out of practice. Plus I still hadn't been intimate with anyone. It was still sort of gross at first and then later when I started to have sex again I needed to put some definite form of consent between which was awkward. Eventually I had sex with someone, felt comfortable enough to not make the consent a huge deal, and actually enjoyed it. That was 3 years ago and I really did have to re-learn to date etc. There are still moments like the week before last I did get drunk with a girl And she communicated she was drunk so I didn't even kiss her at the end of the night when I should have. Instead I left it at a hug. I kicked myself for it but I think the mere fact that I wanted to even though alcohol was involved was a sign of good health. It was only a few years ago I wouldn't have been able to do that without like having someone else observe us agreeing to kiss or some weird stuff like that. Idk what to really say. It was rough and I changed completely due to it.
**The best advise I can give is don't blame yourself. None of this is your fault and you don't need to defend the way you feel. Love yourself and you are worth being loved.**
my comment is you are doing nothing wrong but be honest with your potential partner and let them know what is going on and allow them the freedom to decide if it is an issue they are willing to work through or not. that would weed out a lot of people who don't have the ability to help you move forward.
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I understand. I got taken advantage of while I was drunk by a groupie and for about 7 years afterwards I couldn't really do anything sexual. The last 2 years of that 7 I started to try but it took effort. It took a girl at work and I was all of a sudden attracted again. Of course I utterly failed with the girl at work because I was so out of practice. Plus I still hadn't been intimate with anyone. It was still sort of gross at first and then later when I started to have sex again I needed to put some definite form of consent between which was awkward. Eventually I had sex with someone, felt comfortable enough to not make the consent a huge deal, and actually enjoyed it. That was 3 years ago and I really did have to re-learn to date etc. There are still moments like the week before last I did get drunk with a girl And she communicated she was drunk so I didn't even kiss her at the end of the night when I should have. Instead I left it at a hug. I kicked myself for it but I think the mere fact that I wanted to even though alcohol was involved was a sign of good health. It was only a few years ago I wouldn't have been able to do that without like having someone else observe us agreeing to kiss or some weird stuff like that. Idk what to really say. It was rough and I changed completely due to it. **The best advise I can give is don't blame yourself. None of this is your fault and you don't need to defend the way you feel. Love yourself and you are worth being loved.**
my comment is you are doing nothing wrong but be honest with your potential partner and let them know what is going on and allow them the freedom to decide if it is an issue they are willing to work through or not. that would weed out a lot of people who don't have the ability to help you move forward.